BABY MINE

By Margaret Mayo

To my Helper and Husband

CHAPTER I

Even in college Alfred Hardy was a young man of fixed ideas and highideals and proud of it. 

His friend, Jimmy Jinks, had few ideas and no ideals, and was glad ofit, and before half of their first college term had passed, Jimmyhad ridded himself of all such worries as making up his own mind ordirecting his own morals. Alfred did all these things so much better, argued Jimmy, furthermore, Alfred LIKED to do them--Jimmy owed it to hisfriend to give him that pleasure. 

The fact that Jimmy was several years Alfred's senior and twice hissize, in no way altered his opinion of Alfred's judgment, and throughtheir entire college course they agreed as one man in all theirdiscussions--or rather--in all Alfred's discussions. 

But it was not until the close of their senior year that Alfred favouredJimmy with his views on matrimony. 

Sitting alone in a secluded corner of the campus waiting for Alfred tosolve a problem in higher mathematics, Jimmy now recalled fragments ofAlfred's last conversation. 

"No twelve dollar shoes and forty dollar hats for MY wife, " his youngfriend had raged and he condemned to Jimmy the wicked extravagance ofhis own younger sisters. "The woman who gets me must be a home-maker. I'll take her to the theatre occasionally, and now and then we'll have afew friends in for the evening; but the fireside must be her magnet, andI'll be right by her side each night with my books and my day's worries. She shall be taken into my confidence completely; and I'll take goodcare to let her know, before I marry her, just what I expect in return. "

"Alfred certainly has the right idea about marriage, " mused Jimmy, asthe toe of his boot shoved the gravel up and down the path. "There'sjust one impractical feature about it. " He was conscious of a slightfeeling of heresy when he admitted even ONE flaw in his friend's schemeof things. "Where is Alfred to find such a wife?"

Jimmy ran through the list of unattached girls to whom Alfred had thusfar presented him. It was no doubt due to his lack of imagination, buttry as he would, he could not see any one of these girls sitting by thefireside listening to Alfred's "worries" for four or five nights eachweek. He recalled all the married women whom he had been obliged, through no fault of his own, to observe. 

True, all of them did not boast twelve dollar shoes or forty dollarhats--for the very simple reason that the incomes or the tempers oftheir husbands did not permit of it. In any case, Jimmy did not rememberhaving seen them spend many evenings by the fireside. Where then wasAlfred to find the exceptional creature who was to help "systematise hislife"? Jimmy was not above hoping that Alfred's search might be a longone. He was content for his friend to go jogging along by his side, theorising about marriage and taking no chances with facts. Having cometo this conclusion, he began to feel uneasy at Alfred's non-appearance. Alfred had promised to meet him on this spot at four-thirty, and Alfredhad decided ideas about punctuality. It was now five-thirty. Ought Jimmyto look for him, or would he be wiser to remain comfortably seated andto try to digest another of his friend's theories?

While Jimmy was trying to decide this vexed question, his ear caught thesound of a girlish titter. Turning in embarrassment toward a secludedpath just behind him, whom did he see coming toward him but Alfred, withwhat appeared to be a bunch of daffodils; but as Alfred drew nearer, Jimmy began to perceive at his elbow a large flower-trimmed hat, and--"horrors!"--beneath it, with a great deal of filmy white and yellowfloating from it, was a small pink and white face. 

Barely had Jimmy reversed himself and rearranged his round, astonishedfeatures, when Alfred, beaming and buoyant, brought the bundle of fluffto a full stop before him. 

"Sorry to be late, old chap, " said Alfred. "I have brought my excusewith me. I want you to know Miss Merton. " Then turning to the smallcreature, whose head peeped just above his elbow, Alfred explainedto her graciously that Jimmy Jinks was his very best friend, presentcompany excepted, of course, and added that she and Jimmy would no doubt"see a great deal of each other in the future. "

In his embarrassment, Jimmy's eyes went straight to the young lady'sshoes. It was possible that there might be more expensive shoes in thisworld, but Jimmy had certainly never seen daintier. 

"I hope we didn't disturb you, " a small voice was chirping; and innocentand conventional as the remark surely was, Jimmy was certain of anundercurrent of mischief in it. He glanced up to protest, but twobaby-blue eyes fixed upon him in apparent wonderment, made him certainthat anything he could say would seem rude or ridiculous; so, as usualwhen in a plight, he looked to Alfred for the answer. 

Slapping Jimmy upon the shoulder in a condescending spirit, Alfredsuggested that they all sit down and have a chat. 

"Oh, how nice, " chirped the small person. 

Jimmy felt an irresistible desire to run, but the picture of himself, in his very stout person, streaking across the campus to the giggleddelight of Miss Fluff, soon brought him submissively to the seat, where he sat twiddling his straw hat between his fingers, and glancinguncertainly at Alfred, who was thoughtful enough to sit next him. 

"Goodness, one could almost dance out here, couldn't one?" said thesmall person, named Zoie, as her eyes roved over the bit of level greenbefore them. 

"Would you like to try?" asked Alfred, apparently agreeable to her everycaprice. 

"I'd love it!" cried Zoie. "Come along. " She sprang up and held out herhands to him. 

"I'm going to be unselfish, " answered Alfred, "and let Jimmy have thatfun. "

By this time, Jimmy had been seized with an intuitive feeling that hisfriend was in immediate danger. 

"Was this the young woman who was to sit opposite the fireside fivenights a week and systematise Alfred's life?"

Jimmy stared at the intruder blankly. For answer, two small hands werethrust out toward him and an impatient little voice was commanding himto "Come, dance. " He heard Alfred's laughter. He had no intention ofaccommodating the small person in this or any other matter, yet, beforehe realised quite how it had happened, he was two-stepping up and downthe grass to her piping little voice; nor did she release him until theperspiration came rolling from his forehead; and, horror of horrors, hisone-time friend, Alfred, seemed to find this amusing, and laughed louderand louder when Jimmy sank by his side exhausted. 

When Jimmy was again able to think consecutively, he concluded thatconsiderable conversation must have taken place between Alfred andthe small one, while he was recovering his breath and re-adjusting hiswilted neckwear. He was now thrown into a fresh panic by an exclamationfrom the excitable Zoie. 

"You must both meet my friend, Aggie Darling, " she was saying. "I ambringing her with me to the hop to-night. She is not at all like me. You will like her dreadfully. " She smiled at Jimmy as though she wereconferring a great favour upon him. 

"Like her dreadfully, " commented Jimmy to himself. "It was just the kindof expression one might expect from a mind in such disorder as hers. 'Systematise Alfred's life, ' indeed!"

There was more nonsensical chatter, or so it seemed to Jimmy, then Zoieand Alfred rose to go, and Jimmy was told by both of them that he was toput in an appearance at the Fraternity "hop" that night. 

"I'll see you at dinner, " called Alfred gaily over his shoulder andJimmy was left to grapple with his first disappointment at his friend'slack of discrimination. 

"It's her fault, " concluded Jimmy, as he lifted himself heavily offthe bench and started down the campus, resolved to console himself withfood. 

CHAPTER II

Now Jimmy had no intention of going to the "hop. " He had tried totell Alfred so a dozen times during dinner, but each time he had beeninterrupted by one of Alfred's enthusiastic rhapsodies about Zoie. 

"Most marvellous girl I have ever met!" exclaimed Alfred over his soup. "So sensible; so modest. And did you see how simply she dresses?" heasked. Jimmy recalled his first vision of billowy fluff; but before hecould answer, Alfred had continued excitedly:

"I'll tell you what first attracted me toward her. " He looked at Jimmyas though he expected some especial mark of gratitude for the favourabout to be bestowed; then he explained with a serious weighing of hiswords, "It was her love of children. I had barely been introduced toher when she turned her back upon me and gave her whole attention toProfessor Peck's little boy Willie. I said to myself, 'any girl of thatage who prefers children to young chaps of my age, is the girl for me. '"

"I see, " assented Jimmy lamely. It was his first remark during dinner. 

"After that, I no longer hesitated. You know, Jimmy, I have decision. "

"Yes, I have noticed, " admitted Jimmy, without conviction. 

"In fifteen minutes, " said Alfred, "I had learned all about the younglady's antecedents. "

Having finished his soup, and resisted a childish impulse to tip theplate and scrape the bottom of it, Jimmy was now looking anxiouslytoward the door through which the roast ought to come. 

"I'll tell you all about her, " volunteered Alfred. But Jimmy's eyeswere upon Alfred's plate; his friend had not yet devoured more than twospoonfuls of soup; at that rate, argued Jimmy, the roast would reachthem about the time that he was usually trying to make his dessert lastas long as possible. 

"She is here with her aunt, " continued Alfred. "They are on a shortvisit to Professor Peck. "

Jimmy approved of the "short. "

"That's good, " he murmured, hopeful that a separation from the minxmight restore his friend's reason. 

"And Jimmy, " exclaimed Alfred with glistening eyes, "what do you think?"

Jimmy thought a great deal but he forebore to say it, and Alfredcontinued very enthusiastically. 

"She lives right in the same town with us. "

"What!" ejaculated Jimmy, and he felt his appetite going. 

"Within a stone's throw of my house--and yours, " added Alfredtriumphantly. "Think of our never having met her before!"

"I am thinking, " said Jimmy. 

"Of course she has been away from home a great deal, " went on Alfred. "She's been in school in the East; but there were the summers. "

"So there were, " assented Jimmy, thinking of his hitherto narrowescapes. 

"Her father is old John Merton, " continued Alfred. "Merton thestationer--you know him, Jimmy. Unfortunately, he has a great deal ofmoney; but that hasn't spoilt her. Oh no! She is just as simple andconsiderate in her behaviour as if she were some poor little strugglingschool teacher. She is the one for me, Jimmy. There is no doubt aboutit, and I'll tell you a secret. "

Jimmy looked at him blankly. 

"I am going to propose to her this very night. "

"Good Lord!" groaned Jimmy, as if his friend had been suddenly struckdown in the flower of his youth. 

"That's why you simply must come with me to the hop, " continued Alfred. "I want you to take care of her friend Aggie, and leave me alone withZoie as much as possible. "

"Zoie!" sniffed Jimmy. The name to him was as flippant as its owner. 

"True, strong name, " commented Alfred. "So simple, so direct, so likeher. I'll have to leave you now, " he said, rising. "I must send her someflowers for the dance. " He turned at the door. Suppose I add a few fromyou for Aggie. "

"What!" exploded Jimmy. 

"Just by way of introduction, " called Alfred gaily. "It's a good idea. "

Before Jimmy could protest further, he found himself alone for thesecond time that day. He ate his roast in gloomy silence. It seemed dryand tasteless. Even his favourite desert of plum pudding failed to rousehim from his dark meditations, and he rose from the table dejected andforlorn. 

A few hours later, when Alfred led Jimmy into the ballroom, the latterwas depressed, not only by his friend's impending danger, but he feltan uneasy foreboding as to his own future. With his college coursepractically finished and Alfred attaching himself to unforeseenentities, Jimmy had come to the ball with a curious feeling of havingbeen left suspended in mid-air. 

Before he could voice his misgivings to Alfred, the young men weresurrounded by a circle of chattering females. And then it was that Jimmyfound himself looking into a pair of level brown eyes, and felt himselfgrowing hot and cold by turns. When the little knot of youths andmaidens disentangled itself into pairs of dancers, it became clear toJimmy that he had been introduced to Aggie, and that he was expected todance with her. 

As a matter of fact, Jimmy had danced with many girls; true, it wasusually when there was no other man left to "do duty"; but still hehad done it. Why then should he feel such distressing hesitation aboutplacing his arm around the waist of this brown-eyed Diana? Try as hewould he could not find words to break the silence that had fallenbetween them. She was so imposing; so self-controlled. It really seemedto Jimmy that she should be the one to ask him to dance. As a matterof fact, that was just what happened; and after the dance she suggestedthat they sit in the garden; and in the garden, with the moonlightbarely peeping through the friendly overhanging boughs of the trees, Jimmy found Aggie capable of a courage that filled him with amazement;and later that night, when he and Alfred exchanged confidences, itbecame apparent to the latter that Aggie had volunteered to undertakethe responsibility of outlining Jimmy's entire future. 

He was to follow his father's wishes and take up a business career inChicago at once; and as soon as all the relatives concerned on bothsides had been duly consulted, he and Aggie were to embark uponmatrimony. 

"Good!" cried Alfred, when Jimmy had managed to stammer his shame-facedconfession. "We'll make it a double wedding. I can be ready to-morrow, so far as I'm concerned. " And then followed another rhapsody upon thefitness of Zoie as the keeper of his future home and hearth, and themother of his future sons and daughters. In fact, it was far into thenight when the two friends separated--separated in more than one sense, as they afterward learned. 

While Alfred and Jimmy were saying "good-night" to each other, Zoie andAggie in one of the pretty chintz bedrooms of Professor Peck's modesthome, were still exchanging mutual confidences. 

"The thing I like about Alfred, " said Zoie, as she gazed at the tip ofher dainty satin slipper, and turned her head meditatively to one side, "is his positive nature. I've never before met any one like him. Do youknow, " she added with a sly twinkle in her eye, "it was all I could doto keep from laughing at him. He's so awfully serious. " She giggled toherself at the recollection of him; then she leaned forward to Aggie, her small hands clasped across her knees and her face dimpling withmischief. "He hasn't the remotest idea what I'm like. "

Aggie studied her young friend with unmistakable reproach. "I MADEJimmy know what I'M like, " she said. "I told him ALL my ideas abouteverything. "

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Zoie in shocked surprise. 

"He's sure to find out sooner or later, " said Aggie sagely. "I thinkthat's the only sensible way to begin. "

"If I'd told Alfred all MY ideas about things, " smiled Zoie, "there'dhave BEEN no beginning. "

"What do you mean?" asked Aggie, with a troubled look. 

"Well, take our meeting, " explained Zoie. "Just as we were introduced, that horrid little Willie Peck caught his heel in a flounce of my skirt. I turned round to slap him, but I saw Alfred looking, so I patted hisugly little red curls instead. And what do you think? Alfred told meto-night that it was my devotion to Willie that first made him adoreme. "

"And you didn't explain to him?" asked Aggie in amazement. 

"And lose him before I'd got him!" exclaimed Zoie. 

"It might be better than losing him AFTER you've got him, " concluded theelder girl. 

"Oh, Aggie, " pouted Zoie, "I think you are horrid. You're just trying tospoil all the fun of my engagement. "

"I am not, " cried Aggie, and the next moment she was sitting on the armof Zoie's chair. 

"Goose!" she said, "how dare you be cross with me?"

"I am NOT cross, " declared Zoie, and after the customary apologies fromAggie, confidence was fully restored on both sides and Zoie continuedgaily: "Don't you worry about Alfred and me, " she said as she kicked offher tiny slippers and hopped into bed. "Just you wait until I get him. I'll manage him all right. "

"I dare say, " answered Aggie; not without misgivings, as she turned offthe light. 

CHAPTER III

The double wedding of four of Chicago's "Younger Set" had beenadequately noticed in the papers, the conventional "honeymoon" journeyhad been made, and Alfred Hardy and Jimmy Jinks had now settled down tothe routine of their respective business interests. 

Having plunged into his office work with the same vigour with whichhe had attacked higher mathematics, Alfred had quickly gained theconfidence of the elders of his firm, and they had already begun to giveway to him in many important decisions. In fact, he was now practicallyat the head of his particular department with one office doing well inChicago and a second office promising well in Detroit. 

As for Jimmy, he had naturally started his business career with fewerpyrotechnics; but he was none the less contented. He seldom saw his oldfriend Alfred now, but Aggie kept more or less in touch with Zoie;and over the luncheon table the affairs of the two husbands were oftendiscussed by their wives. It was after one of these luncheons that Aggieupset Jimmy's evening repose by the fireside by telling him that she wasa wee bit worried about Zoie and Alfred. 

"Alfred is so unreasonable, " said Aggie, "so peevish. "

"Nonsense!" exclaimed Jimmy shortly. "If he's peevish he has some goodreason. You can be sure of that. "

"You needn't get cross with me, Jimmy, " said Aggie in a hurt voice. 

"Why should I be cross with you?" snapped Jimmy. "It isn't YOUR faultif Alfred's made a fool of himself by marrying the last person on earthwhom he should have married. "

"I think he was very lucky to get her, " argued Aggie in defence of herfriend. 

"Oh, you do, do you?" answered Jimmy in a very aggrieved tone. 

"She is one of the prettiest girls in Chicago, " said Aggie. 

"You're pretty too, " answered Jimmy, "but it doesn't make an idiot ofyou. "

"It's TIME you said something nice to me, " purred Aggie; and her armstole fondly around Jimmy's large neck. 

"I don't know why it is, " said Jimmy, shaking his head dejectedly, "butevery time Zoie Hardy's name is mentioned in this house it seems to stirup some sort of a row between you and me. "

"That's because you're so prejudiced, " answered Aggie with a touch ofirritation. 

"There you go again, " said Jimmy. 

"I didn't mean it!" interposed Aggie contritely. "Oh, come now, Jimmy, "she pleaded, "let's trundle off to bed and forget all about it. " Andthey did. 

But the next day, as Jimmy was heading for the La Salle restaurant toget his luncheon, who should call to him airily from a passing taxibut Zoie. It was apparent that she wished him to wait until she couldalight; and in spite of his disinclination to do so, he not only waitedbut followed the taxi to its stopping place and helped the young womanto the pavement. 

"Oh, you darling!" exclaimed Zoie, all of a flutter, and looking exactlylike an animated doll. "You've just saved my life. " She called to thetaxi driver to "wait. "

"Are you in trouble?" asked the guileless Jimmy. 

"Yes, dreadful, " answered Zoie, and she thrust a half-dozen smallparcels into Jimmy's arms. "I have to be at my dressmaker's in half anhour; and I haven't had a bite of lunch. I'm miles and miles from home;and I can't go into a restaurant and eat just by myself without beingstared at. Wasn't it lucky that I saw you when I did?"

There was really very little left for Jimmy to say, so he said it; and afew minutes later they were seated tete-a-tete in one of Chicago's mostfashionable restaurants, and Zoie the unconscious flirt was looking upat Jimmy with apparently adoring eyes, and suggesting all the eatableswhich he particularly abominated. 

No sooner had the unfortunate man acquiesced in one thing andcommunicated Zoie's wish to the waiter, than the flighty young personfound something else on the menu that she considered more tempting toher palate. Time and again the waiter had to be recalled and the orderhad to be given over until Jimmy felt himself laying up a store ofnervous indigestion that would doubtless last him for days. 

When the coveted food at last arrived, Zoie had become completelyengrossed in the headgear of one of her neighbours, and it was onlyafter Jimmy had been induced to make himself ridiculous by craning hisneck to see things of no possible interest to him that Zoie at last gaveher attention to her plate. 

In obeyance of Jimmy's order the waiter managed to rush the lunchthrough within three-quarters of an hour; but when Jimmy and Zoie atlength rose to go he was so insanely irritated, that he declared theyhad been in the place for hours; demanded that the waiter hurry hisbill; and then finally departed in high dudgeon without leaving thecustomary "tip" behind him. 

But all this was without its effect upon Zoie, who, a few momentslater rode away in her taxi, waving gaily to Jimmy who was now late forbusiness and thoroughly at odds with himself and the world. 

As a result of the time lost at luncheon Jimmy missed an appointmentthat had to wait over until after office hours, and as a result of thispostponement, he missed Aggie, who went to a friend's house for dinner, leaving word for him to follow. For the first time in his life, Jimmydisobeyed Aggie's orders, and, later on, when he "trundled off to bed"alone, he again recalled that it was Zoie Hardy who was always causinghard feeling between him and his spouse. 

Some hours later, when Aggie reached home with misgivings because Jimmyhad not joined her, she was surprised to find him sleeping as peacefullyas a cherub. "Poor dear, " she murmured, "I hope he wasn't lonesome. " Andshe stole away to her room. 

The next morning when Aggie did not appear at the breakfast table, Jimmyrushed to her room in genuine alarm. It was now Aggie's turn to sleeppeacefully; and he stole dejectedly back to the dining-room and for thefirst time since their marriage, he munched his cold toast and sippedhis coffee alone. 

So thoroughly was his life now disorganised, and so low were his spiritsthat he determined to walk to his office, relying upon the crisp morningair to brace him for the day's encounters. By degrees, he regained hisgood cheer and as usual when in rising spirits, his mind turned towardAggie. The second anniversary of their wedding was fast approaching--hebegan to take notice of various window displays. By the time he hadreached his office, the weightiest decision on his mind lay in choosingbetween a pearl pendant and a diamond bracelet for his now adorablespouse. 

But a more difficult problem awaited him. Before he was fairly in hischair, the telephone bell rang violently. Never guessing who was at theother end of the wire, he picked up his receiver and answered. 

"What?" he exclaimed in surprise. "Mrs. Hardy?" Several times he openedhis lips to ask a question, but it was apparent that the person at theother end of the line had a great deal to say and very little time tosay it, and it was only after repeated attempts that he managed to getin a word or so edgewise. 

"What's happened?" he asked. 

"Say nothing to anybody, " was Zoie's noncommittal answer, "not even toAggie. Jump in a taxi and come as quickly as you can. "

"But what IS it?" persisted Jimmy. The dull sound of the wire told himthat the person at the other end had "hung up. "

Jimmy gazed about the room in perplexity. What was he to do? Why onearth should he leave his letters unanswered and his mail topsy turvy torush forth in the shank of the morning at the bidding of a young womanwhom he abhorred. Ridiculous! He would do no such thing. He lit a cigarand began to open a few letters marked "private. " For the life of him hecould not understand one word that he read. A worried look crossed hisface. 

"Suppose Zoie were really in need of help, Aggie would certainly neverforgive him if he failed her. " He rose and walked up and down. 

"Why was he not to tell Aggie?"

"Where was Alfred?" He stopped abruptly. His over excited imaginationhad suggested a horrible but no doubt accurate answer. "Wedded to anabomination like Zoie, Alfred had sought the only escape possible to aman of his honourable ideals--he had committed suicide. "

Seizing his coat and hat Jimmy dashed through the outer office withoutinstructing his astonished staff as to when he might possibly return. 

"Family troubles, " said the secretary to himself as he appropriated oneof Jimmy's best cigars. 

CHAPTER IV

LESS than half an hour later, Jimmy's taxi stopped in front of thefashionable Sherwood Apartments where Zoie had elected to live. Ascending toward the fifth floor he scanned the face of the elevator boyexpecting to find it particularly solemn because of the tragedy thathad doubtless taken place upstairs. He was on the point of sending outa "feeler" about the matter, when he remembered Zoie's solemn injunctionto "say nothing to anybody. " Perhaps it was even worse than suicide. Hedared let his imagination go no further. By the time he had put out hishand to touch the electric button at Zoie's front door, his finger wastrembling so that he wondered whether he could hit the mark. The resultwas a very faint note from the bell, but not so faint that it escapedthe ear of the anxious young wife, who had been pacing up and down thefloor of her charming living room for what seemed to her ages. 

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" Zoie cried through her tears to her neat littlemaid servant, then reaching for her chatelaine, she daubed her smallnose and flushed cheeks with powder, after which she nodded to Mary toopen the door. 

To Jimmy, the maid's pert "good-morning" seemed to be in very bad tasteand to properly reprove her he assumed a grave, dignified air out ofwhich he was promptly startled by Zoie's even more unseemly greeting. 

"Hello, Jimmy!" she snapped. Her tone was certainly not that of aheart-broken widow. "It's TIME you got here, " she added with an injuredair. 

Jimmy gazed at Zoie in astonishment. She was never what he would havecalled a sympathetic woman, but really----!

"I came the moment you 'phoned me, " he stammered; "what is it? What'sthe matter?"

"It's awful, " sniffled Zoie. And she tore up and down the roomregardless of the fact that Jimmy was still unseated. 

"Awful what?" questioned Jimmy. 

"Worst I've ever had, " sobbed Zoie. 

"Is anything wrong with Alfred?" ventured Jimmy. And he braced himselffor her answer. 

"He's gone, " sobbed Zoie. 

"Gone!" echoed Jimmy, feeling sure that his worst fears were about to berealised. "Gone where?"

"I don't know, " sniffled Zoie, "I just 'phoned his office. He isn'tthere. "

"Oh, is that all?" answered Jimmy, with a sigh of relief. "Just anotherlittle family tiff, " he was unable to conceal a feeling of thankfulness. "What's up?"

Zoie measured Jimmy with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. She resented thepatronising tone that he was adopting. How dare he be cheerful whenshe was so unhappy--and because of him, too? She determined that hisself-complacency should be short-lived. 

"Alfred has found out that I lied about the luncheon, " she said, weighing her words and their effect upon Jimmy. 

"What luncheon?" stuttered Jimmy, feeling sure that Zoie had suddenlymarked him for her victim, but puzzled as to what form her persecutionwas about to take. 

"What luncheon?" repeated Zoie, trying apparently to conceal her disgustat his dulness. "OUR luncheon yesterday. "

"Why did you LIE, " asked Jimmy, his eyes growing rounder and rounderwith wonder. 

"I didn't know he KNEW, " answered Zoie innocently. 

"Knew what?" questioned Jimmy, more and more befogged. 

"That I'd eaten with a man, " concluded Zoie impatiently. Then she turnedher back upon Jimmy and again dashed up and down the room occupied withher own thoughts. 

It was certainly difficult to get much understanding out of Zoie'sdisjointed observations, but Jimmy was doing his best. He followed herrestless movements about the room with his eyes, and then ventured atimid comment. 

"He couldn't object to your eating with me. "

"Oh, couldn't he?" cried Zoie, and she turned upon him with a lookof contempt. "If there's anything that he DOESN'T object to, " shecontinued, "I haven't found it out yet. " And with that she threw herselfin a large arm chair near the table, and left Jimmy to draw his ownconclusions. 

Jimmy looked about the room as though expecting aid from some unseensource; then his eyes sought the floor. Eventually they crept to the tipof Zoie's tiny slipper as it beat a nervous tattoo on the rug. To savehis immortal soul, Jimmy could never help being hypnotised by Zoie'ssmall feet. He wondered now if they had been the reason of Alfred'sfirst downfall. He recalled with a sigh of relief that Aggie's feet werelarge and reassuring. He also recalled an appropriate quotation: "Thepath of virtue is not for women with small feet, " it ran. "Yes, Aggie'sfeet are undoubtedly large, " he concluded. But all this was not solvingZoie's immediate problem; and an impatient cough from her made himrealise that something was expected of him. 

"Why did you lunch with me, " he asked, with a touch of irritation, "ifyou thought he wouldn't like it?"

"I was hungry, " snapped Zoie. 

"Oh, " grunted Jimmy, and in spite of his dislike of the small creaturehis vanity resented the bald assertion that she had not lunched with himfor his company's sake. 

"I wouldn't have made an engagement with you of course, " she continued, with a frankness that vanquished any remaining conceit that Jimmy mighthave brought with him. "I explained to you how it was at the time. Itwas merely a case of convenience. You know that. "

Jimmy was beginning to see it more and more in the light of aninconvenience. 

"If you hadn't been in front of that horrid old restaurant just when Iwas passing, " she continued, "all this would never have happened. Butyou were there, and you asked me to come in and have a bite with you;and I did, and there you are. "

"Yes, there I am, " assented Jimmy dismally. There was no doubt aboutwhere he was now, but where was he going to end? That was the question. "See here, " he exclaimed with fast growing uneasiness, "I don't likebeing mixed up in this sort of thing. "

"Of course you'd think of yourself first, " sneered Zoie. "That's justlike a man. "

"Well, I don't want to get your husband down on me, " argued Jimmyevasively. 

"Oh, I didn't give YOU away, " sneered Zoie. "YOU needn't worry, " and shefixed her eyes upon him with a scornful expression that left no doubt asto her opinion that he was a craven coward. 

"But you said he'd 'found out, '" stammered Jimmy. 

"He's found out that I ate with a MAN, " answered Zoie, more and moreaggrieved at having to employ so much detail in the midst of herdistress. "He doesn't know it was you. "

"But Zoie----" protested Jimmy. 

She lifted a small hand, begging him to spare her further questions. It was apparent that she must explain each aspect of their presentdifficulty, with as much patience as though Jimmy were in reality only achild. She sank into her chair and then proceeded, with a martyred air. 

"You see it was like this, " she said. "Alfred came into the restaurantjust after we had gone out and Henri, the waiter who has taken careof him for years, told him that I had just been in to luncheon with agentleman. "

Jimmy shifted about on the edge of his chair, ill at ease. 

"Now if Alfred had only told me that in the first place, " she continued, "I'd have known what to say, but he didn't. Oh no, he was as sweet ascould be all through breakfast and last night too, and then just as hewas leaving this morning, I said something about luncheon and he said, quite casually, 'Where did you have luncheon YESTERDAY, my dear?' So Ianswered quite carelessly, 'I had none, my love. ' Well, I wish you couldhave seen him. He called me dreadful things. He says I'm the one thinghe can't endure. "

"What's that?" questioned Jimmy, wondering how Alfred could confinehimself to any "ONE thing. "

"He says I'm a liar!" shrieked Zoie tearfully. 

"Well, aren't you?" asked Jimmy. 

"Of course I am, " declared Zoie; "but why shouldn't I be?" She lookedat Jimmy with such an air of self-approval that for the life of him hecould find no reason to offer. "You know how jealous Alfred is, " shecontinued. "He makes such a fuss about the slightest thing that I've gotout of the habit of EVER telling the TRUTH. " She walked away fromJimmy as though dismissing the entire matter; he shifted his positionuneasily; she turned to him again with mock sweetness. "I suppose YOUtold AGGIE all about it?" she said. 

Jimmy's round eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped lower. "I--I--don'tbelieve I did, " he stammered weakly. "I didn't think of it again. "

"Thank heaven for that!" concluded Zoie with tightly pressed lips. Thenshe knotted her small white brow in deep thought. 

Jimmy regarded her with growing uneasiness. "What are you up to now?" heasked. 

"I don't know yet, " mused Zoie, "BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELLAGGIE--that's ONE SURE thing. " And she pinned him down with her eyes. 

"I certainly will tell her, " asserted Jimmy, with a wag of his veryround head. "Aggie is just the one to get you out of this. "

"She's just the one to make things worse, " said Zoie decidedly. Thenseeing Jimmy's hurt look, she continued apologetically: "Aggie MEANSall right, but she has an absolute mania for mixing up in other people'stroubles. And you know how THAT always ends. "

"I never deceived my wife in all my life, " declared Jimmy, with an airof self approval that he was far from feeling. 

"Now, Jimmy, " protested Zoie impatiently, "you aren't going to havemoral hydrophobia just when I need your help!"

"I'm not going to lie to Aggie, if that's what you mean, " said Jimmy, endeavouring not to wriggle under Zoie's disapproving gaze. 

"Then don't, " answered Zoie sweetly. 

Jimmy never feared Zoie more than when she APPEARED to agree with him. He looked at her now with uneasy distrust. 

"Tell her the truth, " urged Zoie. 

"I will, " declared Jimmy with an emphatic nod. 

"And I'LL DENY IT, " concluded Zoie with an impudent toss of her head. 

"What!" exclaimed Jimmy, and he felt himself getting onto his feet. 

"I've already denied it to Alfred, " continued Zoie. "I told him I'dnever been in that restaurant without him in all my life, that thewaiter had mistaken someone else for me. " And again she turned her backupon Jimmy. 

"But don't you see, " protested Jimmy, "this would all be so very muchsimpler if you'd just own up to the truth now, before it's too late?"

"It IS too late, " declared Zoie. "Alfred wouldn't believe me now, whatever I told him. He says a woman who lies once lies all the time. He'd think I'd been carrying on with you ALL ALONG. "

"Good Lord!" groaned Jimmy as the full realisation of his predicamentthrust itself upon him. 

"We don't DARE tell him now, " continued Zoie, elated by the demoralisedstate to which she was fast reducing him. "For Heaven's sake, don't makeit any worse, " she concluded; "it's bad enough as it is. "

"It certainly is, " agreed Jimmy, and he sank dejectedly into his chair. 

"If you DO tell him, " threatened Zoie from the opposite side of thetable, "I'll say you ENTICED me into the place. "

"What!" shrieked Jimmy and again he found himself on his feet. 

"I will, " insisted Zoie, "I give you fair warning. "

He stared at her in absolute horror. "I don't believe you've anyconscience at all, " he said. 

"I haven't, " she sniffled. "I'm too miserable. " And throwing herselfinto the nearest armchair she wept copiously at the thought of her manyinjuries. 

Uncertain whether to fly or to remain, Jimmy gazed at her gloomily. "Well, I'M not laughing myself to death, " he said. 

For answer Zoie turned upon him vehemently. "I just wish I'd never laideyes on you, Jimmy, " she cried. 

Jimmy was wishing the very same thing. 

"If I cared about you, " she sobbed, "it wouldn't be so bad; but tothink of losing my Alfred for----" words failed her and she trailed offweakly, --"for nothing!"

"Thanks, " grunted Jimmy curtly. In spite of himself he was always miffedby the uncomplimentary way in which she disposed of him. 

His sarcasm was lost upon Zoie. Having finished all she had to say tohim, she was now apparently bent upon indulging herself in a first classfit of hysterics. 

There are critical moments in all of our lives when our future happinessor woe hangs upon our own decision. Jimmy felt intuitively that he wasface to face with such a moment, but which way to turn? that was thequestion. Being Jimmy, and soft-hearted in spite of his efforts toconceal it, he naturally turned the wrong way, in other words, towardsZoie. 

"Oh, come now, " he said awkwardly, as he crossed to the arm of herchair. "This will soon blow over. "

Zoie only sobbed the louder. 

"This isn't the first time you and Alfred have called it all off, " hereminded her. 

Again she sobbed. 

Jimmy could never remember quite how it happened. But apparently hemust have patted Zoie on the shoulder. At any rate, something or otherloosened the flood-gates of her emotion, and before Jimmy could possiblyescape from her vicinity she had wheeled round in her chair, thrown herarms about him, and buried her tear-stained face against his waist-coat. 

"Good Lord!" exclaimed Jimmy, for the third time that morning, as heglanced nervously toward the door; but Zoie was exclaiming in her ownway and sobbing louder and louder; furthermore she was compelling Jimmyto listen to an exaggerated account of her many disappointments in herunreasonable husband. Seeing no possibility of escape, without resortingto physical violence, Jimmy stood his ground, wondering what to expectnext. He did not have long to wonder. 

CHAPTER V

WITHIN an hour from the time Alfred had entered his office that morninghe was leaving it, in a taxi, with his faithful secretary at hisside, and his important papers in a bag at his feet. "Take me to theSherwood, " he commanded the driver, "and be quick. "

As they neared Alfred's house, Johnson could feel waves of increasinganger circling around his perturbed young employer and later when theyalighted from the taxi it was with the greatest difficulty that he couldkeep pace with him. 

Unfortunately for Jimmy, the outer door of the Hardy apartment had beenleft ajar, and thus it was that he was suddenly startled from Zoie'sunwelcome embraces by a sharp exclamation. 

"So!" cried Alfred, and he brought his fist down with emphasis on thecentre table at Jimmy's back. 

Wheeling about, Jimmy beheld his friend face to face with him. Alfred'slips were pressed tightly together, his eyes flashing fire. It wasapparent that he desired an immediate explanation. Jimmy turned to theplace where Zoie had been, to ask for help; like the traitress that shewas, he now saw her flying through her bedroom door. Again he glanced atAlfred, who was standing like a sentry, waiting for the pass-word thatshould restore his confidence in his friend. 

"I'm afraid I've disturbed you, " sneered Alfred. 

"Oh, no, not at all, " answered Jimmy, affecting a careless indifferencethat he did not feel and unconsciously shaking hands with the waitingsecretary. 

Reminded of the secretary's presence in such a distinctly family scene, Alfred turned to him with annoyance. 

"Go into my study, " he said. "I'll be with you presently. Here's yourlist, " he added and he thrust a long memorandum into the secretary'shand. Johnson retired as unobtrusively as possible and the two oldfriends were left alone. There was another embarrassed silence whichJimmy, at least, seemed powerless to break. 

"Well?" questioned Alfred in a threatening tone. 

"Tolerably well, " answered Jimmy in his most pleasant but slightlynervous manner. Then followed another pause in which Alfred continued toeye his old friend with grave suspicion. 

"The fact is, " stammered Jimmy, "I just came over to bring Aggie----" hecorrected himself--"that is, to bring Zoie a little message from Aggie. "

"It seemed to be a SAD one, " answered Alfred, with a sarcastic smile, ashe recalled the picture of Zoie weeping upon his friend's sleeve. 

"Oh no--no!" answered Jimmy, with an elaborate attempt at carelessness. 

"Do you generally play the messenger during business hours?" thunderedAlfred, becoming more and more enraged at Jimmy's petty evasions. 

"Just SOMETIMES, " answered Jimmy, persisting in his amiable manner. 

"Jimmy, " said Alfred, and there was a solemn warning in his voice, "don't YOU lie to me!"

Jimmy started as though shot. The consciousness of his guilt was strongupon him. "I beg your pardon, " he gasped, for the want of anything moreintelligent to say. 

"You don't do it well, " continued Alfred, "and you and I are oldfriends. "

Jimmy's round eyes fixed themselves on the carpet. 

"My wife has been telling you her troubles, " surmised Alfred. 

Jimmy tried to protest, but the lie would not come. 

"Very well, " continued Alfred, "I'll tell you something too. I've donewith her. " He thrust his hands in his pockets and began to walk up anddown. 

"What a turbulent household, " thought Jimmy and then he set out inpursuit of his friend. "I'm sorry you've had a misunderstanding, " hebegan. 

"Misunderstanding!" shouted Alfred, turning upon him so sharply that henearly tripped him up, "we've never had anything else. There was neveranything else for us TO have. She's lied up hill and down dale from thefirst time she clinched her baby fingers around my hand--" he imitatedZoie's dainty manner--"and said 'pleased to meet you!' But I've caughther with the goods this time, " he shouted, "and I've just about gotHIM. "

"Him!" echoed Jimmy weakly. 

"The wife-stealer, " exclaimed Alfred, and he clinched his fists inanticipation of the justice he would one day mete out to the despicablecreature. 

Now Jimmy had been called many things in his time, he realised that hewould doubtless be called many more things in the future, but never bythe wildest stretch of imagination, had he ever conceived of himself inthe role of "wife-stealer. "

Mistaking Jimmy's look of amazement for one of incredulity, Alfredendeavoured to convince him. 

"Oh, YOU'LL meet a wife-stealer sooner or later, " he assured him. "Youneedn't look so horrified. "

Jimmy only stared at him and he continued excitedly: "She's had theeffrontery--the bad taste--the idiocy to lunch in a public restaurantwith the blackguard. "

The mere sound of the word made Jimmy shudder, but engrossed in his owntroubles Alfred continued without heeding him. 

"Henri, the head-waiter, told me, " explained Alfred, and Jimmyremembered guiltily that he had been very bumptious with the fellow. "You know the place, " continued Alfred, "the LaSalle--a restaurant whereI am known--where she is known--where my best friends dine--where Henrihas looked after me for years. That shows how desperate she is. Shemust be mad about the fool. She's lost all sense of decency. " And againAlfred paced the floor. 

"Oh, I wouldn't go as far as that, " stammered Jimmy. 

"Oh, wouldn't you?" cried Alfred, again turning so abruptly that Jimmycaught his breath. Each word of Jimmy's was apparently goading him on togreater anger. 

"Now don't get hasty, " Jimmy almost pleaded. "The whole thing is nodoubt perfectly innocent. Talk to her gently. Win her confidence. Gether to tell you the truth. "

"The truth!" shouted Alfred in derision. "Zoie! The truth!"

Jimmy feared that his young friend might actually become violent. Alfredbore down upon him like a maniac. 

"The truth!" he repeated wildly. "She wouldn't know the truth if she sawit under a microscope. She's the most unconscionable little liar thatever lured a man to the altar. "

Jimmy rolled his round eyes with feigned incredulity. 

"I found it out before we'd been married a month, " continued Alfred. "She used to sit evenings facing the clock. I sat with my back to it. I used to ask her the time. Invariably she would lie half an hour, backward or forward, just for practice. THAT was the BEGINNING. Here, listen to some of these, " he added, as he drew half a dozen telegramsfrom his inner pocket, and motioned Jimmy to sit at the opposite side ofthe table. 

Jimmy would have preferred to stand, but it was not a propitious time toconsult his own preferences. He allowed himself to be bullied into thechair that Alfred suggested. 

Throwing himself into the opposite chair, Alfred selected variousexhibits from his collection of messages. "I just brought these up fromthe office, " he said. "These are some of the telegrams that she sent meeach day last week while I was away. This is Monday's. " And he proceededto read with a sneering imitation of Zoie's cloy sweetness. 

"'Darling, so lonesome without you. Cried all day. When are you cominghome to your wee sad wifie? Love and kisses. Zoie. '" Tearing thedefenceless telegram into bits, Alfred threw it from him and waited forhis friend's verdict. 

"She sent that over the wire?" gasped Jimmy. 

"Oh, that's nothing, " answered Alfred. "That's a mild one. " And heselected another from the same pocket. "Here, listen to this. This iswhat she REALLY did. This is from my secretary the same night. "

"You spied upon her!" asked Jimmy, feeling more and more convinced thathis own deceptions would certainly be run to earth. 

"I HAVE to spy upon her, " answered Alfred, "in self-defence. It's theonly way I can keep her from making me utterly ridiculous. " And heproceeded to read from the secretary's telegram. "'Shopped allmorning. Lunched at Martingale's with man and woman unknown tome--Martingale's, '" he repeated with a sneer--"'Motored through Parkwith Mrs. Wilmer until five. ' Mrs. Wilmer, " he exclaimed, "there's awoman I've positively forbidden her to speak to. "

Jimmy only shook his head and Alfred continued to read. 

"'Had tea with Mr. And Mrs. Thompson and young Ardesley at the ParkView. ' Ardesley is a young cub, " explained Alfred, "who spends his timerunning around with married women while their husbands are away tryingto make a living for them. "

"Shocking!" was the extent of Jimmy's comment, and Alfred resumedreading. 

"'Dinner and theatre same party. Supper at Wellingford. Home two A. M. '"He looked at Jimmy, expecting to hear Zoie bitterly condemned. Jimmyonly stared at him blankly. "That's pretty good, " commented Alfred, "forthe woman who 'CRIED' all day, isn't it?"

Still Jimmy made no answer, and Alfred brought his fist down upon thetable impatiently. "Isn't it?" he repeated. 

"She was a bit busy THAT day, " admitted Jimmy uneasily. 

"The truth!" cried Alfred again, as he rose and paced about excitedly. "Getting the truth out of Zoie is like going to a fire in the night. Youthink it's near, but you never get there. And when she begins by sayingthat she's going to tell you the 'REAL truth'"--he threw up his hands indespair--"well, then it's time to leave home. "

CHAPTER VI

There was another pause, then Alfred drew in his breath and bore downupon Jimmy with fresh vehemence. "The only time I get even a semblanceof truth out of Zoie, " he cried, "is when I catch her red-handed. "Again he pounded the table and again Jimmy winced. "And even then, " hecontinued, "she colours it so with her affected innocence and her pleaabout just wishing to be a 'good fellow, ' that she almost makes me doubtmy own eyes. She is an artist, " he declared with a touch of enforcedadmiration. "There's no use talking; that woman is an artist. "

"What are you going to do?" asked Jimmy, for the want of anything betterto say. 

"I am going to leave her, " declared Alfred emphatically. "I am goingaway. "

A faint hope lit Jimmy's round childlike face. With Alfred away therewould be no further investigation of the luncheon incident. 

"That might be a good idea, " he said. 

"It's THE idea, " said Alfred; "most of my business is in Detroit anyhow. I'm going to make that my headquarters and stay there. "

Jimmy was almost smiling. 

"As for Zoie, " continued Alfred, "she can stay right here and go as faras she likes. "

"Not with me, " thought Jimmy. 

"But, " shrieked Alfred, with renewed emphasis, "I'm going to find outwho the FELLOW is. I'll have THAT satisfaction!"

Jimmy's spirits fell. 

"Henri knows the head-waiter of every restaurant in this town, " saidAlfred, "that is, every one where she'd be likely to go; and he sayshe'd recognise the man she lunched with if he saw him again. "

Jimmy's features became suddenly distorted. 

"The minute she appears anywhere with anybody, " explained Alfred, "Henriwill be notified by 'phone. He'll identify the man and then he'll wireme. "

"What good will that do?" asked Jimmy weakly. 

"I'll take the first train home, " declared Alfred. 

"For what?" questioned Jimmy. 

"To shoot him!" exclaimed Alfred. 

"What!" gasped Jimmy, almost losing his footing. 

Alfred mistook Jimmy's concern for anxiety on his behalf. 

"Oh, I'll be acquitted, " he declared. "Don't you worry. I'll get my taleof woe before the jury. "

"But I say, " protested Jimmy, too uneasy to longer conceal his realemotions, "why kill this one particular chap when there are so manyothers?"

"He's the only one she's ever lunched with, ALONE, " said Alfred. "She'sbeen giddy, but at least she's always been chaperoned, except with him. He's the one all right; there's no doubt about it. He's the beginning ofthe end. "

"His own end, yes, " assented Jimmy half to himself. "Now, see here, oldman, " he argued, "I'd give that poor devil a chance to explain. "

"Explain!" shouted Alfred so sharply that Jimmy quickly retreated. "Iwouldn't believe him now if he were one of the Twelve Apostles. "

"That's tough, " murmured Jimmy as he saw the last avenue of honourableescape closed to him. 

"Tough!" roared Alfred, thinking of himself. "Hah. "

"On the Apostles, I mean, " explained Jimmy nervously. 

Again Alfred paced up and down the room, and again Jimmy tried to thinkof some way to escape from his present difficulty. It was quite apparentthat his only hope lay not in his own candor, but in Alfred's absence. "How long do you expect to be away?" he asked. 

"Only until I hear from Henri, " said Alfred. 

"Henri?" repeated Jimmy and again a gleam of hope shone on his dullfeatures. He had heard that waiters were often to be bribed. "Nicefellow, Henri, " he ventured cautiously. "Gets a large salary, no doubt?"

"Does he!" exclaimed Alfred, with a certain pride of proprietorship. "Notips could touch Henri, no indeed. He's not that sort of a person. "

Again the hope faded from Jimmy's round face. 

"I look upon Henri as my friend, " continued Alfred enthusiastically. "Hespeaks every language known to man. He's been in every country in theworld. HENRI UNDERSTANDS LIFE. "

"LOTS of people UNDERSTAND LIFE, " commented Jimmy dismally, "but SOMEpeople don't APPRECIATE it. They value it too lightly, to MY way ofthinking. "

"Ah, but you have something to live for, " argued Alfred. 

"I have indeed; a great deal, " agreed Jimmy, more and more abused at thethought of what he was about to lose. 

"Ah, that's different, " exclaimed Alfred. "But what have _I_?"

Jimmy was in no frame of mind to consider his young friend's assets, hewas thinking of his own difficulties. 

"I'm a laughing stock, " shouted Alfred. "I know it. A 'good thing' whogives his wife everything she asks for, while she is running aroundwith--with my best friend, for all I know. "

"Oh, no, no, " protested Jimmy nervously. "I wouldn't say that. "

"Even if she weren't running around, " continued Alfred excitedly, without heeding his friend's interruption, "what have we to look forwardto? What have we to look backward to?"

Again Jimmy's face was a blank. 

Alfred answered his own question by lifting his arms tragically towardHeaven. "One eternal round of wrangles and rows! A childless home! Doyou think she wants babies?" he cried, wheeling about on Jimmy, anddaring him to answer in the affirmative. "Oh, no!" he sneered. "All shewants is a good time. "

"Well, " mumbled Jimmy, "I can't see much in babies myself, fat, little, red worms. "

Alfred's breath went from him in astonishment

"Weren't YOU ever a fat, little, red worm?" he hissed. "Wasn't _I_ever a little, fat, red----" he paused in confusion, as his ear becamepuzzled by the proper sequence of his adjectives, "a fat, red, littleworm, " he stammered; "and see what we are now!" He thrust out his chestand strutted about in great pride. 

"Big red worms, " admitted Jimmy gloomily. 

But Alfred did not hear him. "You and I ought to have SONS on the way towhat we are, " he declared, "and better. "

"Oh yes, better, " agreed Jimmy, thinking of his present plight. "Muchbetter. "

"But HAVE we?" demanded Alfred. 

Jimmy glanced about the room, as though expecting an answeringdemonstration from the ceiling. 

"Have YOU?" persisted Alfred. 

Jimmy shook his head solemnly. 

"Have _I_?" asked the irate husband. 

Out of sheer absent mindedness Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. 

As usual Alfred answered his own question. "Oh, no!" he raged. "YOU havea wife who spends her time and money gadding about with----"

Jimmy's face showed a new alarm. 

"--my wife, " concluded Alfred. 

Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. 

"I have a wife, " said Alfred, "who spends her time and my money gaddingaround with God knows whom. But I'll catch him!" he cried with new fury. "Here, " he said, pulling a roll of bills from his pocket. "I'll bet youI'll catch him. How much do you want to bet?"

Undesirous of offering any added inducements toward his own capture, Jimmy backed away both literally and figuratively from Alfred'sproposition. 

"What's the use of getting so excited?" he asked. 

Mistaking Jimmy's unwillingness to bet for a disinclination to takeadvantage of a friend's reckless mood, Alfred resented the impliedinsult to his astuteness. 

"You think I can't catch him?" he exclaimed. "Let's see the colour ofyour money, " he demanded. 

But before Jimmy could comply, an unexpected voice broke into theargument and brought them both round with a start. 

CHAPTER VII

"Good Heavens, " exclaimed Aggie, who had entered the room while Alfredwas talking his loudest. "What a racket!"

Her eyes fell upon Jimmy who was teetering about uneasily just behindAlfred. She stared at him in amazement. Was it possible that Jimmy, themethodical, had left his office at this hour of the morning, and forwhat?

Avoiding the question in Aggie's eyes, Jimmy pretended to be searchingfor his pocket handkerchief--but always with the vision of Aggie in hernew Fall gown and her large "picture" hat at his elbow. Never before hadshe appeared so beautiful to him, so desirable--suppose he should loseher? Life spread before him as a dreary waste. He tried to look up ather; he could not. He feared she would read his guilt in his eyes. "Whatguilt?" he asked himself. There was no longer any denying the fact--asecret had sprung up between them. 

Annoyed at receiving no greeting, Aggie continued in a rather hurtvoice:

"Aren't you two going to speak to me?"

Alfred swallowed hard in an effort to regain his composure. 

"Good-morning, " he said curtly. 

Fully convinced of a disagreement between the two old friends, Aggieaddressed herself in a reproachful tone to Jimmy. 

"My dear, " she said, "what are you doing here this time of day?"

Jimmy felt Alfred's steely eyes upon him. "Why!" he stammered. "Why, Ijust came over to--bring your message. "

"My message?" repeated Aggie in perplexity. "What message?"

Alfred's eyebrows drew themselves sharply together. 

Jimmy had told so many lies this morning that another more or less couldnot matter; moreover, this was not a time to hesitate. 

"Why, the message you sent to Zoie, " he answered boldly. 

"But I sent no message to Zoie, " said Aggie. 

"What!" thundered Alfred, so loud that Aggie's fingers involuntarilywent to her ears. She was more and more puzzled by the odd behaviour ofthe two. 

"I mean yesterday's message, " corrected Jimmy. And he assumed anaggrieved air toward Aggie. 

"You villain, " exclaimed Aggie. "I told you to 'phone her yesterdaymorning from the office. "

"Yes, I know, " agreed Jimmy placidly, "but I forgot it and I just cameover to explain. " Alfred's fixed stare was relaxing and at last Jimmycould breathe. 

"Oh, " murmured Aggie, with a wise little elevation of her eye-brows, "then that's why Zoie didn't keep her luncheon appointment with meyesterday. "

Jimmy felt that if this were to go on much longer, he would utter onewild shriek and give himself up for lost; but at present he merelyswallowed with an effort, and awaited developments. 

It was now Alfred's turn to become excited. 

"Oh, IS it!" he cried with hysterical laughter. 

Aggie regarded him with astonishment. Was this her usuallyself-controlled friend?

"Oh, no!" sneered Alfred with unmistakable pity for her credulity. "That's not why my wife didn't eat luncheon with you. She may TELL youthat's why. She undoubtedly will; but it's NOT why. Oh, no!" and runninghis hands through his hair, Alfred tore up and down the room. 

"What do you mean by that?" Aggie asked in amazement. 

"Your dear husband Jimmy will doubtless explain, " answered Alfred witha slur on the "dear. " Then he turned toward the door of his study. "Prayexcuse me--I'M TOO BUSY, " and with that he strode out of the room andbanged the study door behind him. 

"Goodness gracious!" gasped Aggie. She looked after Alfred, then atJimmy. She was the picture of consternation. "What's the matter withhim?" she asked. 

"Just another little family tiff, " answered Jimmy, trying to assume anonchalant manner. 

"Not about YOU!" gasped Aggie. 

"Me!" cried Jimmy, his equilibrium again upset. "Certainly not!" hedeclared. "What an idea!"

"Yes, wasn't it?" answered Aggie. "That just shows how silly one canbe. I almost thought Alfred was going to say that Zoie had lunched withyou. "

"Me?" again echoed Jimmy, and he wondered if everybody in the world hadconspired to make him the target of their attention. He caught Aggie'seye and tried to laugh carelessly. "That would have been funny, wouldn'tit?" he said. 

"Yes, wouldn't it, " repeated Aggie, and he thought he detected a slightuneasiness in her voice. 

"Speaking of lunch, " added Jimmy quickly, "I think, dearie, that I'llcome home for lunch in the future. "

"What?" exclaimed Aggie in great amazement. 

"Those downtown places upset my digestion, " explained Jimmy quickly. 

"Isn't this very SUDDEN, " she asked, and again Jimmy fancied that therewas a shade of suspicion in her tone. 

His face assumed a martyred expression. "Of course, dear, " he said, "ifyou insist upon my eating downtown, I'll do it; but I thought you'd beglad to have me at home. "

Aggie turned to him with real concern. "Why, Jimmy, " she said, "what'sthe matter with you?" She took a step toward him and anxiously studiedhis face. "I never heard you talk like that before. I don't think you'rewell. "

"That's just what I'm telling you, " insisted Jimmy vehemently, excitedbeyond all reason by receiving even this small bit of sympathy. "I'mill, " he declared. No sooner had he made the declaration than he beganto believe in it. His doleful countenance increased Aggie's alarm. 

"My angel-face, " she purred, and she took his chubby cheeks in herhands and looked down at him fondly. "You know I ALWAYS want you to comehome. " She stooped and kissed Jimmy's pouting lips. He held up his facefor more. She smoothed the hair from his worried brow and endeavouredto cheer him. "I'll run right home now, " she said, "and tell cook to getsomething nice and tempting for you! I can see Zoie later. "

"It doesn't matter, " murmured Jimmy, as he followed her toward the doorwith a doleful shake of his head. "I don't suppose I shall ever enjoy myluncheon again--as long as I live. "

"Nonsense, " cried Aggie, "come along. "

CHAPTER VIII

WHEN Alfred returned to the living room he was followed by hissecretary, who carried two well-filled satchels. His temper was notimproved by the discovery that he had left certain important papersat his office. Dispatching his man to get them and to meet him at thestation with them, he collected a few remaining letters from the drawerof the writing table, then uneasy at remaining longer under the sameroof with Zoie, he picked up his hat, and started toward the hallway. For the first time his eye was attracted by a thick layer of dust andlint on his coat sleeve. Worse still, there was a smudge on his cuff. If there was one thing more than another that Alfred detested it wasuntidiness. Putting his hat down with a bang, he tried to flick the dustfrom his sleeve with his pocket handkerchief; finding this impossible, he removed his coat and began to shake it violently. 

It was at this particular moment that Zoie's small face appearedcautiously from behind the frame of the bedroom door. She was quick toperceive Alfred's plight. Disappearing from view for an instant, shesoon reappeared with Alfred's favourite clothes-brush. She tiptoed intothe room. 

Barely had Alfred drawn his coat on his shoulders, when he was startledby a quick little flutter of the brush on his sleeve. He turnedin surprise and beheld Zoie, who looked up at him as penitent andirresistible as a newly-punished child. 

"Oh, " snarled Alfred, and he glared at her as though he would enjoystrangling her on the spot. 

"Alfred, " pouted Zoie, and he knew she was going to add her customaryappeal of "Let's make up. " But Alfred was in no mood for nonsense. Hethrust his hands in his pockets and made straight for the outer doorway. 

Smiling to herself as she saw him leaving without his hat, Zoie slippedit quickly beneath a flounce of her skirt. No sooner had Alfred reachedthe sill of the door than his hand went involuntarily to his head; heturned to the table where he had left his hat. His face wore a puzzledlook. He glanced beneath the table, in the chair, behind the table, across the piano, and then he began circling the room with pent up rage. He dashed into his study and out again, he threw the chairs about withincreasing irritation, then giving up the search, he started hatlesstoward the hallway. It was then that a soft babyish voice reached hisear. 

"Have you lost something, dear?" cooed Zoie. 

Alfred hesitated. It was difficult to lower his dignity by answeringher, but he needed his headgear. "I want my hat, " he admitted shortly. 

"Your hat?" repeated Zoie innocently and she glanced around the roomwith mild interest. "Maybe Mary took it. "

"Mary!" cried Alfred, and thinking the mystery solved, he dashed towardthe inner hallway. 

"Let ME get it, dear, " pleaded Zoie, and she laid a small detaining handupon his arm as he passed. 

"Stop it!" commanded Alfred hotly, and he shook the small hand from hissleeve as though it had been something poisonous. 

"But Allie, " protested Zoie, pretending to be shocked and grieved. 

"Don't you 'but Allie' me, " cried Alfred, turning upon her sharply. "AllI want is my hat, " and again he started in search of Mary. 

"But--but--but Allie, " stammered Zoie, as she followed him. 

"But--but--but, " repeated Alfred, turning on her in a fury. "You'vebutted me out of everything that I wanted all my life, but you're notgoing to do it again. "

"You see, you said it yourself, " laughed Zoie. 

"Said WHAT, " roared Alfred. 

"But, " tittered Zoie. 

The remnants of Alfred's self-control were forsaking him. He clinchedhis fists hard in a final effort toward restraint. "You'd just as wellstop all these baby tricks, " he threatened between his teeth, "they'renot going to work. THIS time my mind is made up. "

"Then why are you afraid to talk to me?" asked Zoie sweetly. 

"Who said I was afraid?" demanded Alfred hotly. 

"You ACT like it, " declared Zoie, with some truth on her side. "Youdon't want----" she got no further. 

"All I want, " interrupted Alfred, "is to get out of this house once andfor all and to stay out of it. " And again he started in pursuit of hishat. 

"Why, Allie, " she gazed at him with deep reproach. "You liked this placeso much when we first came here. "

Again Alfred picked at the lint on his coat sleeve. Edging her waytoward him cautiously she ventured to touch his sleeve with the brush. 

"I'll attend to that myself, " he said curtly, and he sank into thenearest chair to tie a refractory shoe lace. 

"Let me brush you, dear, " pleaded Zoie. "I don't wish you to start outin the world looking unbrushed, " she pouted. Then with a sly emphasisshe added teasingly, "The OTHER women might not admire you that way. "

Alfred broke his shoe string then and there. While he stooped to tie aknot in it, Zoie managed to perch on the arm of his chair. 

"You know, Allie, " she continued coaxingly, "no one could ever love youas I do. "

Again Alfred broke his shoe lace. 

"Oh, Allie!" she exclaimed with a little ripple of childish laughter, "do you remember how absurdly poor we were when we were first married, and how you refused to take any help from your family? And do youremember that silly old pair of black trousers that used to get so thinon the knees and how I used to put shoe-blacking underneath so the whitewouldn't show through?" By this time her arm managed to get around hisneck. 

"Stop it!" shrieked Alfred as though mortal man could endure no more. "You've used those trousers to settle every crisis in our lives. "

Zoie gazed at him without daring to breathe; even she was aghast at hisfury, but only temporarily. She recovered herself and continued sweetly:

"If everything is SETTLED, " she argued, "where's the harm in talking?"

"We've DONE with talking, " declared Alfred. "From this on, I act. "And determined not to be cheated out of this final decision, he againstarted for the hall door. 

"Oh, Allie!" cried Zoie in a tone of sharp alarm. 

In spite of himself Alfred turned to learn the cause of her anxiety. 

"You haven't got your overshoes on, " she said. 

Speechless with rage, Alfred continued on his way, but Zoie moved beforehim swiftly. "I'll get them for you, dear, " she volunteered graciously. 

"Stop!" thundered Alfred. They were now face to face. 

"I wish you wouldn't roar like that, " pouted Zoie, and the pink tips ofher fingers were thrust tight against her ears. 

Alfred drew in his breath and endeavoured for the last time to represshis indignation. "Either you can't, or you won't understand that it isextremely unpleasant for me to even talk to you--much less to receiveyour attentions. "

"Very likely, " answered Zoie, unperturbed. "But so long as I am yourlawful wedded wife----" she emphasised the "lawful"--"I shan't let anyharm come to you, if _I_ can help it. " She lifted her eyes to heavenbidding it to bear witness to her martyrdom and looking for all theworld like a stained glass saint. 

"Oh, no!" shouted Alfred, almost hysterical at his apparent failure tomake himself understood. "You wouldn't let any harm come to me. Oh, no. You've only made me the greatest joke in Chicago, " he shouted. "You'veonly made me such a laughing stock that I have to leave it. That'sall--that's all!"

"Leave Chicago!" exclaimed Zoie incredulously. Then regaining herself-composure, she edged her way close to him and looked up into hiseyes in baby-like wonderment. "Why, Allie, where are we going?" Hersmall arm crept up toward his shoulder. Alfred pushed it from himrudely. 

"WE are not going, " he asserted in a firm, measured voice. "_I_ amgoing. Where's my hat?" And again he started in search of his absentheadgear. 

"Oh, Allie!" she exclaimed, and this time there was genuine alarm in hervoice, "you wouldn't leave me?"

"Wouldn't I, though?" sneered Alfred. Before he knew it, Zoie's armswere about him--she was pleading desperately. 

"Now see here, Allie, you may call me all the names you like, " she criedwith great self-abasement, "but you shan't--you SHAN'T go away fromChicago. "

"Oh, indeed?" answered Alfred as he shook himself free of her. "Isuppose you'd like me to go on with this cat and dog existence. You'dlike me to stay right here and pay the bills and take care of you, whileyou flirt with every Tom, Dick and Harry in town. "

"It's only your horrid disposition that makes you talk like that, "whimpered Zoie. "You know very well that I never cared for anybody butyou. "

"Until you GOT me, yes, " assented Alfred, "and NOW you care foreverybody BUT me. " She was about to object, but he continued quickly. "Where you MEET your gentlemen friends is beyond me. _I_ don't introducethem to you. "

"I should say not, " agreed Zoie, and there was a touch of vindictivenessin her voice. "The only male creature that you ever introduced to me wasthe family dog. "

"I introduce every man who's fit to meet you, " declared Alfred with anair of great pride. 

"That doesn't speak very well for your acquaintances, " snipped Zoie. Even HER temper was beginning to assert itself. 

"I won't bicker like this, " declared Alfred. 

"That's what you always say, when you can't think of an answer, "retorted Zoie. 

"You mean when I'm tired of answering your nonsense!" thundered Alfred. 

CHAPTER IX

Realising that she was rapidly losing ground by exercising her advantageover Alfred in the matter of quick retort, Zoie, with her customarycunning, veered round to a more conciliatory tone. "Well, " she cooed, "suppose I DID eat lunch with a man?"

"Ah!" shrieked Alfred, as though he had at last run his victim to earth. 

She retreated with her fingers crossed. "I only said suppose, " shereminded him quickly. Then she continued in a tone meant to draw fromhim his heart's most secret confidence. "Didn't you ever eat lunch withany woman but me?"

"Never!" answered Alfred firmly. 

There was an unmistakable expression of pleasure on Zoie's small face, but she forced back the smile that was trying to creep round her lips, and sidled toward Alfred, with eyes properly downcast. "Then I'm verysorry I did it, " she said solemnly, "and I'll never do it again. "

"So!" cried Alfred with renewed indignation. "You admit it?"

"Just to please you, dear, " explained Zoie sweetly, as though she weredoing him the greatest possible favour. 

"To please me?" gasped Alfred. "Do you suppose it pleases me to knowthat you are carrying on the moment my back is turned, making a fool ofme to my friends?"

"Your friends?" cried Zoie with a sneer. This time it was her turn to beangry. "So! It's your FRIENDS that are worrying you!" In her excitementshe tossed Alfred's now damaged hat into the chair just behind her. Hewas far too overwrought to see it. "_I_ haven't done you any harm, " shecontinued wildly. "It's only what you think your friends think. "

"You haven't done me any harm?" repeated Alfred, in her same tragic key, "Oh no! Oh no! You've only cheated me out of everything I expected toget out of life! That's all!"

Zoie came to a full stop and waited for him to enumerate the varioustreasures that he had lost by marrying her. He did so. 

"Before we were married, " he continued, "you pretended to adorechildren. You started your humbugging the first day I met you. I referto little Willie Peck. "

A hysterical giggle very nearly betrayed her. Alfred continued:

"I was fool enough to let you know that I admire women who likechildren. From that day until the hour that I led you to the altar, you'd fondle the ugliest little brats that we met in the street, but themoment you GOT me----"

"Alfred!" gasped Zoie. This was really going too far. 

"Yes, I repeat it!" shouted Alfred, pounding the table with his fist foremphasis. "The moment you GOT me, you declared that all children werehorrid little insects, and that someone ought to sprinkle bug-powder onthem. "

"Oh!" protested Zoie, shocked less by Alfred's interpretation of hersentiments, than by the vulgarity with which he expressed them. 

"On another occasion, " declared Alfred, now carried away by the recitalof his long pent up wrongs, "you told me that all babies should be putin cages, shipped West, and kept in pens until they got to be of aninteresting age. 'Interesting age!'" he repeated with a sneer, "meaningold enough to take YOU out to luncheon, I suppose. "

"I never said any such thing, " objected Zoie. 

"Well, that was the idea, " insisted Alfred. "I haven't your glib way ofexpressing myself. "

"You manage to express yourself very well, " retorted Zoie. "Whenyou have anything DISAGREEABLE to say. As for babies, " she continuedtentatively, "I think they are all very well in their PLACE, but theywere NEVER meant for an APARTMENT. "

"I offered you a house in the country, " shouted Alfred. 

"The country!" echoed Zoie. "How could I live in the country, withpeople being murdered in their beds every night? Read the papers. "

"Always an excuse, " sighed Alfred resignedly. "There always HAS beenand there always would be if I'd stay to listen. Well, for once, " hedeclared, "I'm glad that we have no children. If we had, I might feelsome obligation to keep up this farce of a marriage. As it is, " hecontinued, "YOU are free and _I_ am free. " And with a courtly wave ofhis arm, he dismissed Zoie and the entire subject, and again he startedin pursuit of Mary and his hat. 

"If it's your freedom you wish, " pouted Zoie with an abused air, "youmight have said so in the first place. "

Alfred stopped in sheer amazement at the cleverness with which thelittle minx turned his every statement against him. 

"It's not very manly of you, " she continued, "to abuse me just becauseyou've found someone whom you like better. "

"That's not true, " protested Alfred hotly, "and you know it's not true. "Little did he suspect the trap into which she was leading him. 

"Then you DON'T love anybody more than you do me?" she cried eagerly, and she gazed up at him with adoring eyes. 

"I didn't say any such thing, " hedged Alfred. 

"Then you DO, " she accused him. 

"I DON'T, " he declared in self defence. 

With a cry of joy, she sprang into his arms, clasped her fingers tightlybehind his neck, and rained impulsive kisses upon his unsuspecting face. 

For an instant, Alfred looked down at Zoie, undecided whether tostrangle her or to return her embraces. As usual, his self-respect wonthe day for him and, with a determined effort, he lifted her high in theair, so that she lost her tenacious hold of him, and sat her down witha thud in the very same chair in which she had lately dropped his hat. Having acted with this admirable resolution, he strode majesticallytoward the inner hall, but before he could reach it, Zoie was againon her feet, in a last vain effort to conciliate him. Turning, Alfredcaught sight of his poor battered hat. This was the final spur toaction. Snatching it up with one hand, and throwing his latchkey on thetable with the other, he made determinedly for the outer door. 

Screaming hysterically, Zoie caught him just as he reached the thresholdand threw the whole weight of her body upon him. 

"Alfred, " she pleaded, "if you REALLY love me, you CAN'T leave me likethis!" Her emotion was now genuine. He looked down at her gravely--theninto the future. 

"There are other things more important than what YOU call 'love, '" hesaid, very solemnly. 

"There is such a thing as a soul, if you only knew it. And you have hurtmine through and through. "

"But how, Alfred, how?" asked the small person, and there was a frown ofgenuine perplexity on her tiny puckered brow. "What have I REALLY DONE, "She stroked his hand fondly; her baby eyes searched his face. 

"It isn't so much what people DO to us that counts, " answered Alfred ina proud hurt voice. "It's how much they DISAPPOINT us in what they do. Iexpected better of YOU, " he said sadly. 

"I'll DO better, " coaxed Zoie, "if you'll only give me a chance. "

He was half inclined to believe her. 

"Now, Allie, " she pleaded, perceiving that his resentment was dying andresolved to, at last, adopt a straight course, "if you'll only listen, I'll tell you the REAL TRUTH. "

Unprepared for the electrical effect of her remark, Zoie found herselfstaggering to keep her feet. She gazed at Alfred in amazement. His armswere lifted to Heaven, his breath was coming fast. 

"'The REAL TRUTH!'" he gasped, then bringing his crushed hat down on hisforehead with a resounding whack, he rushed from her sight. 

The clang of the closing elevator door brought Zoie to a realisation ofwhat had actually happened. Determined that Alfred should not escapeher she rushed to the hall door and called to him wildly. There was noanswer. Running back to the room, she threw open the window and threwherself half out of it. She was just in time to see Alfred climb intoa passing taxi. "Alfred!" she cried. Then automatically she flew to the'phone. "Give me 4302 Main, " she called and she tried to force back hertears. "Is this Hardy & Company?" she asked. 

"Well, this is Mrs. Hardy, " she explained. 

"I wish you'd ring me up the moment my husband comes in. " There was aslight pause, then she clutched the receiver harder. "Not COMING back?"she gasped. "Gone!--to Detroit?" A short moan escaped her lips. Shelet the receiver fall back on the hook and her head went forward on heroutstretched arms. 

CHAPTER X

When Jimmy came home to luncheon that day, Aggie succeeded in getting ageneral idea of the state of affairs in the Hardy household. Of courseJimmy didn't tell the whole truth. Oh, no--far from it. In fact, heappeared to be aggravatingly ignorant as to the exact cause of the Hardyupheaval. Of ONE thing, however, he was certain. "Alfred was going toquit Chicago and leave Zoie to her own devices. "

"Jimmy!" cried Aggie. "How awful!" and before Jimmy was fairly out ofthe front gate, she had seized her hat and gloves and rushed to therescue of her friend. 

Not surprised at finding Zoie in a state of collapse, Aggie opened herarms sympathetically to receive the weeping confidences that she wassure would soon come. 

"Zoie dear, " she said as the fragile mite rocked to and fro. "What isit?" She pressed the soft ringlets from the girl's throbbing forehead. 

"It's Alfred, " sobbed Zoie. "He's gone!"

"Yes, I know, " answered Aggie tenderly. "Isn't it awful? Jimmy just toldme. "

"Jimmy told you WHAT?" questioned Zoie, and she lifted her head andregarded Aggie with sudden uneasiness. Her friend's answer raised Jimmyconsiderably in Zoie's esteem. Apparently he had not breathed a wordabout the luncheon. 

"Why, Jimmy told me, " continued Aggie, "that you and Alfred had hadanother tiff, and that Alfred had gone for good. "

"For GOOD!" echoed Zoie and her eyes were wide with terror. "Did Alfredtell Jimmy that?"

Aggie nodded. 

"Then he MEANS it!" cried Zoie, at last fully convinced of the strengthof Alfred's resolve. "But he shan't, " she declared emphatically. "Iwon't let him. I'll go after him. He has no right----" By this time shewas running aimlessly about the room. 

"What did you do to him?" asked Aggie, feeling sure that Zoie was asusual at fault. 

"Nothing, " answered Zoie with wide innocent eyes. 

"Nothing?" echoed Aggie, with little confidence in her friend's abilityto judge impartially about so personal a matter. 

"Absolutely nothing, " affirmed Zoie. And there was no doubting that sheat least believed it. 

"What does he SAY, " questioned Aggie diplomatically. 

"He SAYS I 'hurt his soul. ' Whatever THAT is, " answered Zoie, andher face wore an injured expression. "Isn't that a nice excuse, " shecontinued, "for leaving your lawful wedded wife?" It was apparent thatshe expected Aggie to rally strongly to her defence. But at presentAggie was bent upon getting facts. 

"HOW did you hurt him?" she persisted. 

"I ate lunch, " said Zoie with the face of a cherub. 

"With whom?" questioned Aggie slyly. She was beginning to scent theprobable origin of the misunderstanding. 

"It's of no consequence, " answered Zoie carelessly; "I wouldn't havewiped my feet on the man. " By this time she had entirely forgottenAggie's proprietorship in the source of her trouble. 

"But who WAS the man?" urged Aggie, and in her mind, she had alreadycondemned him as a low, unprincipled creature. 

"What does that matter?" asked Zoie impatiently. "It's ANY man withAlfred--you know that--ANY man!"

Aggie sank in a chair and looked at her friend in despair. "Why DO youdo these things, " she said wearily, "when you know how Alfred feelsabout them?"

"You talk as though I did nothing else, " answered Zoie with an aggrievedtone. "It's the first time since I've been married that I've ever eatenlunch with any man but Alfred. I thought you'd have a little sympathywith me, " she whimpered, "instead of putting me on the gridiron likeeveryone else does. "

"Everyone else?" questioned Aggie, with recurring suspicion. 

"I mean Alfred, " explained Zoie. "HE'S 'everyone else' to me. " And thenwith a sudden abandonment of grief, she threw herself prostrate at herfriend's knees. "Oh, Aggie, what can I do?" she cried. 

But Aggie was not satisfied with Zoie's fragmentary account of herlatest escapade. "Is that the only thing that Alfred has against you?"she asked. 

"That's the LATEST, " sniffled Zoie, in a heap at Aggie's feet. And thenshe continued in a much aggrieved tone, "You know he's ALWAYS rowingbecause we haven't as many babies as the cook has cats. "

"Well, why don't you get him a baby?" asked the practical, far-seeingAggie. 

"It's too late NOW, " moaned Zoie. 

"Not at all, " reassured Aggie. "It's the very thing that would bring himback. "

"How COULD I get one?" questioned Zoie, and she looked up at Aggie withround astonished eyes. 

"Adopt it, " answered Aggie decisively. 

Zoie regarded her friend with mingled disgust and disappointment. "No, "she said with a sigh and a shake of her head, "that wouldn't do anygood. Alfred's so fussy. He always wants his OWN things around. "

"He needn't know, " declared Aggie boldly. 

"What do you mean?" whispered Zoie. 

Drawing herself up with an air of great importance, and regarding thewondering young person at her knee with smiling condescension, Aggieprepared to make a most interesting disclosure. 

"There was a long article in the paper only this morning, " she toldZoie, "saying that three thousand husbands in this VERY CITY arefondling babies not their own. "

Zoie turned her small head to one side, the better to study Aggie'sface. It was apparent to the latter that she must be much more explicit. 

"Babies adopted in their absence, " explained Aggie, "while they were ontrips around the country. "

A dangerous light began to glitter in Zoie's eyes. 

"Aggie!" she cried, bringing her small hands together excitedly, "do youthink I COULD?"

"Why not?" asked Aggie, with a very superior air. Zoie's enthusiasm wasincreasing her friend's admiration of her own scheme. "This same papertells of a woman who adopted three sons while her husband was in Europe, and he thinks each one of them is his. "

"Where can we get some?" cried Zoie, now thoroughly enamoured of theidea. 

"You can always get TONS of them at the Children's Home, " answered Aggieconfidently. 

"I can't endure babies, " declared Zoie, "but I'd do ANYTHING to getAlfred back. Can we get one TO-DAY?" she asked. 

Aggie looked at her small friend with positive pity. "You don't WANT oneTO-DAY, " she explained. 

Zoie rolled her large eyes inquiringly. 

"If you were to get one to-day, " continued Aggie, "Alfred would know itwasn't yours, wouldn't he?"

A light of understanding began to show on Zoie's small features. 

"There was none when he left this morning, " added Aggie. 

"That's true, " acquiesced Zoie. 

"You must wait awhile, " counselled Aggie, "and then get a perfectly newone. "

But Zoie had never been taught to wait. 

"Now Aggie----" she began. 

Aggie continued without heeding her. 

"After a few months, " she explained, "when Alfred's temper has had timeto cool, we'll get Jimmy to send him a wire that he has an heir. "

"A few months!" exclaimed Zoie, as though Aggie had suggested aneternity. "I've never been away from Alfred that long in all my life. "

Aggie was visibly annoyed. "Well, of course, " she said coldly, as sherose to go, "if you can get Alfred back WITHOUT that----"

"But I can't!" cried Zoie, and she clung to her friend as to her lastremaining hope. 

"Then, " answered Aggie, somewhat mollified by Zoie's completesubmission. "THIS is the only way. The President of the Children's Homeis a great friend of Jimmy's, " she said proudly. 

It was at this point that Zoie made her first practical suggestion. "Then we'll LET JIMMY GET IT, " she declared. 

"Of course, " agreed Aggie enthusiastically, as though they would beaccording the poor soul a rare privilege. "Jimmy gives a hundreddollars to the Home every Christmas, "--additional proof why he should beselected for this very important office. 

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Zoie with shocked surprise. "If Alfred were togive a hundred dollars to a Baby's Home, I should suspect him. "

"Don't be silly!" snapped Aggie curtly. In spite of her firm faith inJimmy's innocence, she was undoubtedly annoyed by Zoie's unpleasantsuggestion. 

There was an instant's pause, then putting disagreeable thoughts fromher mind, Aggie turned to Zoie with renewed enthusiasm. 

"We must get down to business, " she said, "we'll begin on the baby'soutfit at once. "

"Its what?" queried Zoie. 

"Its clothes, " explained Aggie. 

"Oh, what fun!" exclaimed Zoie, and she clapped her hands merrily like avery small child. A moment later she stopped with sudden misgiving. 

"But, Aggie, " she said fearfully, "suppose Alfred shouldn't come backafter I've got the baby? I'd be a widow with a child. "

"Oh, he's sure to come back!" answered Aggie, with a confident air. "He'll take the first train, home. "

"I believe he will, " assented Zoie joyfully. All her clouds were againdispelled. "Aggie, " she cried impulsively, "you are a darling. You havejust saved my life. " And she clasped her arms so tightly around Aggie'sneck that her friend was in danger of being suffocated. 

Releasing herself Aggie continued with a ruffled collar and raisedvanity: "You can write him an insinuating letter now and then, just tolead up to the good news gradually. "

Zoie tipped her small head to one side and studied her friendthoughtfully. "Do you know, Aggie, " she said, with frank admiration, "Ibelieve you are a better liar than I am. "

"I'm NOT a liar, " objected Aggie vehemently, "at least, not often, " shecorrected. "I've never lied to Jimmy in all my life. " She drew herselfup with conscious pride. "And Jimmy has NEVER LIED TO ME. "

"Isn't that nice, " sniffed Zoie and she pretended to be searching forher pocket-handkerchief. 

But Aggie did not see her. She was glancing at the clock. 

"I must go now, " she said. And she started toward the door. 

"But, Aggie----" protested Zoie, unwilling to be left alone. 

"I'll run in again at tea time, " promised Aggie. 

"I don't mind the DAYS, " whined Zoie, "but when NIGHT comes I just MUSThave somebody's arms around me. "

"Zoie!" gasped Aggie, both shocked and alarmed. 

"I can't help it, " confessed Zoie; "the moment it gets dark I'm justscared stiff. "

"That's no way for a MOTHER to talk, " reproved Aggie. 

"A mother!" exclaimed Zoie, horrified at the sudden realisation thatthis awful appellation would undoubtedly pursue her for the rest ofher life. "Oh, don't call me that, " she pleaded. "You make me feel athousand years old. "

"Nonsense, " laughed Aggie, and before Zoie could again detain her shewas out of the room. 

When the outside door had closed behind her friend, Zoie gazed aboutthe room disconsolately, but her depression was short-lived. RememberingAggie's permission about the letter, she ran quickly to the writingtable, curled her small self up on one foot, placed a brand new pen inthe holder, then drew a sheet of paper toward her and, with shouldershunched high and her face close to the paper after the manner of achild, she began to pen the first of a series of veiled communicationsthat were ultimately to fill her young husband with amazement. 

CHAPTER XI

When Jimmy reached his office after his unforeseen call upon Zoie, hissubsequent encounter with Alfred, and his enforced luncheon at homewith Aggie, he found his mail, his 'phone calls, and his neglectedappointments in a state of hopeless congestion, and try as he would, hecould not concentrate upon their disentanglement. Growing more and morefurious with the long legged secretary who stood at the corner of hisdesk, looking down upon him expectantly, and waiting for his tardyinstructions, Jimmy rose and looked out of the window. He could feelAndrew's reproachful eyes following him. 

"Shall Miss Perkins take your letters now?" asked Andrew, and hewondered how late the office staff would be kept to-night to make up forthe time that was now being wasted. 

Coming after repeated wounds from his nearest and dearest, Andrew'simplied reproach was too much for Jimmy's overwrought nerves. "Get out!"he answered unceremoniously. And when Andrew could assure himself thathe had heard aright, he stalked out of the door with his head high inthe air. 

Jimmy looked after his departing secretary with positive hatred. It wasapparent to him that the whole world was against him. He had beentoo easy he decided. His family, friends, and business associateshad undoubtedly lost all respect for him. From this day forth he wasdetermined to show himself to be a man of strong mettle. 

Having made this important decision and having convinced himself that hewas about to start on a new life, Jimmy strode to the door of the officeand, without disturbing the injured Andrew, he called sharply to MissPerkins to come at once and take his letters. 

Poor Jimmy! Again he tried in vain to concentrate upon the details ofthe "cut-glass" industry. Invariably his mind would wander back to theunexpected incidents of the morning. Stopping suddenly in the middle ofa letter to a competing firm, he began pacing hurriedly up and down theroom. 

Had she not feared that her chief might misconstrue any suggestion fromher as an act of impertinence, Miss Perkins, having learned all thecompany's cut-glass quotations by rote, could easily have supplied theremainder of the letter. As it was, she waited impatiently, tapping thecorner of the desk with her idle pencil. Jimmy turned at the sound, andglanced at the pencil with unmistakable disapproval. Miss Perkins waitedin silence. After one or two more uneasy laps about the room, Jimmy wentto his 'phone and called his house number. 

"It's undoubtedly domestic trouble, " decided Miss Perkins, and shewondered whether it would be delicate of her, under the circumstances, to remain in the room. 

From her employer's conversation at the 'phone, it was clear to MissPerkins that Mrs. Jinks was spending the afternoon with Mrs Hardy, but why this should have so annoyed MR. Jinks was a question that MissPerkins found it difficult to answer. Was it possible that Mr. Jinks'spresent state of unrest could be traced to the door of the beautifulyoung wife of his friend? "Oh dear, " thought Miss Perkins, "howscandalous!"

"That will do, " commanded Jimmy, interrupting Miss Perkins's interestingspeculations, and he nodded toward the door. 

"But----" stammered Miss Perkins, as she glanced at the unfinishedletters. 

"I'll call you when I need you, " answered Jimmy gruffly. Miss Perkinsleft the room in high dudgeon. 

"I'LL show them, " said Jimmy to himself, determined to carry out hisrecent resolve to be firm. 

Then his mind wend back to his domestic troubles. "Suppose, that Zoie, after imposing secrecy upon him, should change that thing called her'mind' and confide in Aggie about the luncheon?" Jimmy was positivelypale. He decided to telephone to Zoie's house and find out how affairswere progressing. At the 'phone he hesitated. "If Aggie HAS found outabout the luncheon, " he argued, "my 'phoning to Zoie's will increase hersuspicions. If Zoie has told her nothing, she'll wonder why I'm 'phoningto Zoie's house. There's only one thing to do, " he decided. "I must waitand say nothing. I can tell from Aggie's face when I meet her at dinnerwhether Zoie has betrayed me. "

Having arrived at this conclusion, Jimmy resolved to get home as earlyas possible, and again Miss Perkins was called to his aid. 

The flurry with which Jimmy despatched the day's remaining businessconfirmed both Miss Perkins and Andrew in their previous opinion that"the boss" had suddenly "gone off his head. " And when he at last leftthe office and banged the door behind him there was a general sigh ofrelief from his usually tranquil staff. 

Instead of walking, as was his custom, Jimmy took a taxi to his home butalas, to his surprise he found no wife. 

"Did Mrs. Jinks leave any word?" he inquired from the butler. 

"None at all, " answered that unperturbed creature; and Jimmy felt surethat the attitude of his office antagonists had communicated itself tohis household servants. 

When Jimmy's anxious ear at last caught the rustle of a woman's dress inthe hallway, his dinner had been waiting half an hour, and he hadworked himself into a state of fierce antagonism toward everything andeverybody. 

At the sound of Aggie's voice however, his heart began to pound withfear. "Had she found him out for the weak miserable deceiver that hewas? Would she tell him that they were going to separate forever?"

Aggie's first words were reassuring. "Awfully sorry to be so late, dear, " she said. 

Jimmy felt her kiss upon his chubby cheek and her dear arms about hisneck. He decided forthwith to tell her everything, and never, neveragain to run the risk of deceiving her; but before he could open hislips, she continued gaily:

"I've brought Zoie home with me, dear. There's no sense in her eatingall alone, and she's going to have ALL her dinners with us. " Jimmygroaned. "After dinner, " continued Aggie, "you and I can take her tothe theatre and all those places and keep her cheered until Alfred comeshome. "

"Home?" repeated Jimmy in alarm. Was it possible that Alfred had alreadyrelented?

"Oh, he doesn't know it yet, " explained Aggie, "but he's coming. We'lltell you all about it at dinner. " And they did. 

While waiting for Aggie, Jimmy had thought himself hungry, but oncethe two women had laid before him their "nefarious baby-snatchingscheme"--food lost its savour for him, and one course after another wastaken away from him untouched. 

Each time that Jimmy ventured a mild objection to his part in the plan, as scheduled by them, he met the threatening eye of Zoie; and by thetime that the three left the table he was so harassed and confused bythe chatter of the two excited women, that he was not only reconciledbut eager to enter into any scheme that might bring Alfred back, andfree him of the enforced companionship of Alfred's nerve-racking wife. True, he reflected, it was possible that Alfred, on his return, mightdiscover him to be the culprit who lunched with Zoie and might carry outhis murderous threat; but even such a fate was certainly preferable tointerminable evenings spent under the same roof with Zoie. 

"All YOU need do, Jimmy, " explained Aggie sweetly, when the three ofthem were comfortably settled in the library, "is to see your friendthe Superintendent of the Babies' Home, and tell him just what kind of ababy we shall need, and when we shall need it. "

"Can't we see it ourselves?" chimed in Zoie. 

"Oh yes, indeed, " said Aggie confidently, and she turned to Jimmy witha matter-of-fact tone. "You'd better tell the Superintendent to haveseveral for us to look at when the time arrives. "

"Yes, that's better, " agreed Zoie. 

As for Jimmy, he had long ceased to make any audible comment, butinternally he was saying to himself: "man of strong mettle, indeed!"

"We'll attend to all the clothes for the child, " said Aggie generouslyto Jimmy. 

"I want everything to be hand-made, " exclaimed Zoie enthusiastically. 

"We can make a great many of the things ourselves, evenings, " saidAggie, "while we sit here and talk to Jimmy. "

"I thought we were going OUT evenings!" objected Zoie. 

Jimmy rolled his eyes toward her like a dumb beast of burden. 

"MOST evenings, " assented Aggie. "And then toward the last, you know, Zoie----" she hesitated to explain further, for Jimmy was alreadybecoming visibly embarrassed. 

"Oh, yes, that's true, " blushed Zoie. 

There was an awkward pause, then Aggie turned again toward Jimmy, whowas pretending to rebuild the fire. "Oh yes, one more thing, " she said. "When everything is quite ready for Alfred's return, we'll allow you, Jimmy dear, to wire him the good news. "

"Thanks, so much, " said Jimmy. 

"I wish it were time to wire now, " said Zoie pensively, and in his mind, Jimmy fervently agreed with that sentiment. 

"The next few months will slip by before you know it, " declared Aggiecheerfully. "And by the way, Zoie, " she added, "why should you go backto your lonesome flat to-night?"

Zoie began to feel for her pocket handkerchief--Jimmy sat up to receivethe next blow. "Stay here with us, " suggested Aggie. "We'll be so gladto have you. " She included Jimmy in her glance. "Won't we, dear?" sheasked. 

When the two girls went upstairs arm in arm that night, Jimmy remainedin his chair by the fire, too exhausted to even prepare for bed. "A manof mettle!" he said again to himself. 

This had certainly been the longest day of his life. 

CHAPTER XII

WHEN Aggie predicted that the few months of waiting would pass quicklyfor Zoie, she was quite correct. They passed quickly for Aggie as well;but how about Jimmy? When he afterward recalled this interval in hislife, it was always associated with long strands of lace winding aroundthe legs of the library chairs, white things lying about in all theplaces where he had once enjoyed sitting or lying, late dinners, lonelybreakfasts, and a sense of isolation from Aggie. 

One evening when he had waited until he was out of all patience withAggie, he was told by his late and apologetical spouse that she had beenhelping Zoie to redecorate her bedroom to fit the coming occasion. 

"It is all done in pink and white, " explained Aggie, and then followeddetailed accounts of the exquisite bed linens, the soft lovely hangings, and even the entire relighting of the room. 

"Why pink?" asked Jimmy, objecting to any scheme of Zoie's on generalprinciples. 

"It's Alfred's favourite colour, " explained Aggie. "Besides, it's sobecoming, " she added. 

Jimmy could not help feeling that this lure to Alfred's senses wasabsolutely indecent, and he said so. 

"Upon my word, " answered Aggie, quite affronted, "you are getting asunreasonable as Alfred himself. " Then as Jimmy prepared to sulk, sheadded coaxingly, "I was GOING to tell you about Zoie's lovely newnegligee, and about the dear little crib that just matches it. Everything is going to be in harmony. "

"With Zoie in the house?" asked Jimmy sceptically. 

"I can't think why you've taken such a dislike to that helpless child, "said Aggie. 

A few days later, while in the midst of his morning's mail, Jimmy wasinformed that it was now time for him to conduct Aggie and Zoie to theBabies' Home to select the last, but most important, detail fortheir coming campaign. According to instructions, Jimmy had been incommunication with the amused Superintendent of the Home, and he now ledthe two women forth with the proud consciousness that he, at least, hadattended properly to his part of the business. By the time they reachedthe Children's Home, several babies were on view for their criticalinspection. 

Zoie stared into the various cribs containing the wee, red mites withpuckered faces. "Oh dear!" she exclaimed, "haven't you any white ones?"

"These are supposed to be white, " said the Superintendent, with anindulgent smile, "the black ones are on the other side of the room. "

"Black ones!" cried Zoie in horror, and she faced about quickly asthough expecting an attack from their direction. 

"Which particular one of these would you recommend?" asked the practicalAggie of the Superintendent as she surveyed the first lot. 

"Well, it's largely a matter of taste, ma'am, " he answered. "This seemsa healthy little chap, " he added, and seizing the long white clothesof the nearest infant, he drew him across his arm and held him out forAggie's inspection. 

"Let's see, " cried Zoie, and she stood on tiptoe to peep over theSuperintendent's elbow. 

As for Jimmy, he stood gloomily apart. This was an ordeal for whichhe had long been preparing himself, and he was resolved to accept itphilosophically. 

"I don't think much of that one, " snipped Zoie. And in spite of himself. Jimmy felt his temper rising. 

Aggie turned to him with a smile. "Which one do YOU prefer, Jimmy?"

"It's not MY affair, " answered Jimmy curtly. 

"Since when?" asked Zoie. 

Aggie perceived trouble brewing, and she turned to pacify Jimmy. "Whichone do you think your FRIEND ALFRED would like?" she persisted. 

"If I were in his place----" began Jimmy hotly. 

"Oh, but you AREN'T, " interrupted Zoie; then she turned to theSuperintendent. "What makes some of them so much larger than others?"she asked, glancing at the babies he had CALLED "white. "

"Well, you see they're of different ages, " explained the Superintendentindulgently. 

"We told Mr. Jinks they must all be of the same age, " said Zoie with areproachful look at Jimmy. 

"What age is that?" asked the Superintendent. 

"I should say a week old, " said Aggie. 

"Then this is the one for you, " decided the Superintendent, designatinghis first choice. 

"I think we'd better take the Superintendent's advice, " said Aggiecomplacently. 

Zoie looked around the room with a dissatisfied air. Was it possiblethat all babies were as homely as these?

"You know, Zoie, " explained Aggie, divining her thought, "they getbetter looking as they grow older. "

"They couldn't look worse!" was Zoie's disgusted comment. 

"Fetch it home, Jimmy, " said Aggie. 

"What!" exclaimed Jimmy, who had considered his mission completed. 

"You don't expect US to carry it, do you?" asked Aggie in a hurt voice. 

The Superintendent settled the difficulty temporarily by informing themthat the baby could not possibly leave the home until the mother hadsigned the necessary papers for its release. 

"I thought all those details had been attended to, " said Aggie, andagain the two women surveyed Jimmy with grieved disappointment. 

"I'll get the mother's signature the first thing in the morning, "volunteered the Superintendent. 

"Very well, " said Zoie, "and in the meantime, I'll send some new clothesfor it, " and with a lofty farewell to the Superintendent, she and Aggiefollowed Jimmy down stairs to the taxi. 

"Now, " said Zoie, when they were properly seated, "let's stop at atelegraph office and let Jimmy send a wire to Alfred. "

"Wait until we get the baby, " cautioned Aggie. 

"We'll have it the first thing in the morning, " argued Zoie. 

"Jimmy can send him a night-letter, " compromised Aggie, "that way Alfredwon't get the news until morning. "

A few minutes later, the taxi stopped in front of Jimmy's office andwith a sigh of thanksgiving he hurried upstairs to his unanswered mail. 

CHAPTER XIII

When Alfred Hardy found himself on the train bound for Detroit, he triedto assure himself that he had done the right thing in breaking awayfrom an association that had kept him for months in a constant state offerment. His business must come first, he decided. Having settled thispoint to his temporary satisfaction, he opened his afternoon paperand leaned back in his seat, meaning to divert his mind from personalmatters, by learning what was going on in the world at large. 

No sooner had his eye scanned the first headline than he was startled bya boisterous greeting from a fellow traveller, who was just passing downthe aisle. 

"Hello, Hardy!" cried his well meaning acquaintance. "Where are youbound for?"

"Detroit, " answered Alfred, annoyed by the sudden interruption. 

"Where's the missus?" asked the intruder. 

"Chicago, " was Alfred's short reply. 

"THAT'S a funny thing, " declared the convivial spirit, not guessing howfunny it really was. "You know, " he continued, so loud that everyone inthe vicinity could not fail to hear him, "the last time I met you two, you were on your honeymoon--on THIS VERY TRAIN, " and with that thefellow sat himself down, uninvited, by Alfred's side and started on along list of compliments about "the fine little girl" who had in hisopinion done Alfred a great favour when she consented to tie herself toa "dull, money-grubbing chap" like him. 

"So, " thought Alfred, "this is the way the world sees us. " And he beganto frame inaudible but desperate defences of himself. Again he toldhimself that he was right; but his friend's thoughtless words hadplanted an uncomfortable doubt in his mind, and when he left thetrain to drive to his hotel, he was thinking very little about the newbusiness relations upon which he was entering in Detroit, and very muchabout the domestic relations which he had just severed in Chicago. 

Had he been merely a "dull money-grubber"? Had he left his wife too muchalone? Was she not a mere child when he married her? Could he not, withmore consideration, have made of her a more understanding companion?These were questions that were still unanswered in his mind when hearrived at one of Detroit's most enterprising hotels. 

But later, having telephoned to his office and found that severalmatters of importance were awaiting his decision, he forced himself toenter immediately upon his business obligations. 

As might have been expected, Alfred soon won the respect and seriousconsideration of most of his new business associates, and this in ameasure so mollified his hurt pride, that upon rare occasions he wasaffable enough to accept the hospitality of their homes. But eachexcursion that he made into the social life of these new friends, onlyserved to remind him of the unsettled state of his domestic affairs. 

"How your wife must miss you!" his hostess would remark before they werefairly seated at table. 

"They tell me she is so pretty, " his vis-a-vis would exclaim. 

"When is she going to join you?" the lady on his left would ask. 

Then his host would laugh and tell the "dear ladies" that in HISopinion, Alfred was afraid to bring his wife to Detroit, lest he mightlose her to a handsomer man. 

Alfred could never quite understand why remarks such as this annoyed himalmost to the point of declaring the whole truth. His LEAVING Zoie, andhis "losing" her, as these would-be comedians expressed it, weretwo separate and distinct things in his mind, and he felt an almostirresistible desire to make this plain to all concerned. 

But no sooner did he open his lips to do so, than a picture of Zoie inall her child-like pleading loveliness, arose to dissuade him. He couldimagine his dinner companions all pretending to sympathise with him, while they flayed poor Zoie alive. She would never have another chanceto be known as a respectable woman, and compared to most women ofhis acquaintance, she WAS a respectable woman. True, according toold-fashioned standards, she had been indiscreet, but apparently thepresent day woman had a standard of her own. Alfred found his eyewandering round the table surveying the wives of his friends. Was thereone of them, he wondered, who had never fibbed to her husband, or eatena simple luncheon unchaperoned by him? Of one thing he was certain, there was not one of them so attractive as Zoie. Might she not beforgiven, to some extent, if her physical charms had made her a sourceof dangerous temptation to unprincipled scoundrels like the one withwhom she had no doubt lunched? Then, too, had she not offered at themoment of his departure to tell him the "real truth"? Might this nothave been the one occasion upon which she would have done so? "She seemedso sincere, " he ruminated, "so truly penitent. " Then again, how generousit was of her to persist in writing to him with never an answer fromhim to encourage her. If she cared for him so little as he had onceimagined, why should she wish to keep up even a presence of fondness?Her letters indicated an undying devotion. 

These were some of the thoughts that were going through Alfred's mindjust three months after his departure from Chicago, and all the whilehis hostess was mentally dubbing him a "dull person. "

"What an abstracted man he is!" she said before he was down the frontsteps. 

"Is he really so clever in business?" a woman friend inquired. 

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?" commented a third, and his hostapologised for the absent Alfred by saying that he was no doubt worriedabout a particular business decision that had to be made the nextmorning. 

But it was not the responsibility of this business decision that wasknotting Alfred's brow, as he walked hurriedly toward the hotel, wherehe had told his office boy to leave the last mail. This had beenthe longest interval that Zoie had ever let slip without writing. Herecalled that her last letters had hinted at a "slight indisposition. "In fact, she had even mentioned "seeing the doctor"--"Good Heavens!" hethought, "Suppose she were really ill? Who would look after her?"

When Alfred reached his rooms, the boy had not yet arrived. He crossedto the library table and took from the drawer all the letters thus farreceived from Zoie. He read them consecutively. "How could he have beenso stupid as not to have realised sooner that her illness--whatever itwas--had been gradually creeping upon her from the very first day of hisdeparture?"

The boy arrived with the mail. It contained no letter from Zoie andAlfred went to bed with an uneasy mind. 

The next morning he was down at his office early, still no letter fromZoie. 

Refusing his partner's invitation to lunch, Alfred sat alone in hisoffice, glad to be rid of intrusive eyes. "He would write to JimmyJinks, " he decided, "and find out whether Zoie were in any immediatedanger. "

Not willing to await the return of his stenographer, or to acquaint herwith his personal affairs, Alfred drew pen and paper toward him and sathelplessly before it. How could he inquire about Zoie without appearingto invite a reconciliation with her? While he was trying to answerthis vexed question, a sharp knock came at the door. He turned to see auniformed messenger holding a telegram toward him. Intuitively he feltthat it contained some word about Zoie. His hand trembled so that hecould scarcely sign for the message before opening it. 

A moment later the messenger boy was startled out of his lethargy by asuccession of contradictory exclamations. 

"No!" cried Alfred incredulously as he gazed in ecstasy at the telegram. "Yes!" he shouted, excitedly, as he rose from his chair. "Where's atime table?" he asked the astonished boy, and he began rummaging rapidlythrough the drawers of his desk. 

"Any answer?" inquired the messenger. 

"Take this, " said Alfred. And he thrust a bill into the small boy'shand. 

"Yes, sir, " answered the boy and disappeared quickly, lest this madmanmight reconsider his generosity. 

Alfred threw down the time table in despair. "No train for Chicago untilnight, " he cried; but his mind was working fast. The next moment he wasat the telephone, asking for the Division Superintendent of the railwayline. 

When Alfred's partner returned from luncheon he found a curt noteinforming him that Alfred had left on a special for Chicago and would"write. "

"I'll bet it's his wife!" said the partner. 

CHAPTER XIV

During the evening of the same day that Alfred was enjoying suchpleasurable emotions, Zoie and Aggie were closeted in the pretty pinkand white bedroom that the latter had tried to describe to Jimmy. Ona rose-coloured couch in front of the fire sat Aggie threading ribbonsthrough various bits of soft white linen, and in front of her, at thefoot of a rose-draped bed, knelt Zoie. She was trying the effect ofa large pink bow against the lace flounce of an empty but invitingbassinette. 

"How's that?" she called to Aggie, as she turned her head to one sideand surveyed the result of her experiment with a critical eye. 

Aggie shot a grudging glance at the bassinette. "I wish you wouldn'tbother me every moment, " she said. "I'll never get all these thingsfinished. "

Apparently Zoie decided that the bow was properly placed, for sheapplied herself to sewing it fast to the lining. In her excitement shegave the thread a vicious pull. "Oh, dear, oh dear, my thread is alwaysbreaking!" she sighed in vexation. 

"You're excited, " said Aggie. 

"Wouldn't YOU be excited, " questioned Zoie'"if you were expecting a babyand a husband in the morning?"

"I suppose I should, " admitted Aggie. 

For a time the two friends sewed in silence, then Zoie looked up withsudden anxiety. 

"You're SURE Jimmy sent the wire?" she asked. 

"I saw him write it, " answered Aggie, "while I was in the officeto-day. "

"When will Alfred get it?" demanded Zoie eagerly. 

"Oh, he won't GET it until to-morrow morning, " said Aggie. "I told youthat to-day. It's a night message. "

"I wonder what he'll be doing when he gets it?" mused Zoie. There was asuspicion of a smile around her lips. 

"What will he do AFTER he gets it?" questioned Aggie. 

Looking up at her friend in alarm, Zoie suddenly ceased sewing. "Youdon't mean he won't come?" she gasped. 

"Of course I don't, " answered Aggie. "He's only HUMAN if he is ahusband. "

There was a sceptical expression around Zoie's mouth, but she did notpursue the subject. "How do you suppose that red baby will ever look inthis pink basket?" she asked. And then with a regretful little sigh, shedeclared that she wished she'd "used blue. "

"I didn't think the baby that we chose was so horribly red, " said Aggie. 

"Red!" cried Zoie, "it's magenta. " And again her thread broke. "Oh, darn!" she exclaimed in annoyance, and once more rethreaded her needle. "I couldn't look at it, " she continued with a disgusted little pucker ofher face. "I wish they had let us take it this afternoon so I could havegot used to it before Alfred gets here. "

"Now don't be silly, " scolded Aggie. "You know very well that theSuperintendent can't let it leave the home until its mother signs thepapers. It will be here the first thing in the morning. You'll have allday to get used to it before Alfred gets here. "

"ALL DAY, " echoed Zoie, and the corners of her mouth began to droop. "Won't Alfred be here before TO-MORROW NIGHT?"

Aggie was becoming exasperated by Zoie's endless questions. "I toldyou, " she explained wearily, "that the wire won't be delivered untilto-morrow morning, it will take Alfred eight hours to get here, andthere may not be a train just that minute. "

"Eight long hours, " sighed Zoie dismally. And Aggie looked at herreproachfully, forgetting that it is always the last hour thatis hardest to bear. Zoie resumed her sewing resignedly. Aggie wasmeditating whether she should read her young friend a lecture on thevalue of patience, when the telephone began to ring violently. 

Zoie looked up from her sewing with a frown. "You answer it, will you, Aggie?" she said. "I can't let go this thread. "

"Hello, " called Aggie sweetly over the 'phone; then she added insurprise, "Is this you, Jimmy dear?" Apparently it was; and as Zoiewatched Aggie's face, with its increasing distress she surmised thatJimmy's message was anything but "dear. "

"Good heavens!" cried Aggie over the telephone, "that's awful!"

"Isn't Alfred coming?" was the first question that burst from Zoie'slips. 

Aggie motioned to Zoie to be quiet. "TO-NIGHT!" she exclaimed. 

"To-night!" echoed Zoie joyfully; and without waiting for more detailsand with no thought beyond the moment, she flew to her dressing tableand began arranging her hair, powdering her face, perfuming her lips, and making herself particularly alluring for the prodigal husband'sreturn. 

Now the far-sighted Aggie was experiencing less pleasant sensations atthe phone. "A special?" she was saying to Jimmy. "When did Alfred GETthe message?" There was a slight pause. Then she asked irritably, "Well, didn't you mark it 'NIGHT message'?" From the expression on Aggie's faceit was evident that he had not done so. "But, Jimmy, " protested Aggie, "this is dreadful! We haven't any baby!" Then calling to him to wait aminute, and leaving the receiver dangling, she crossed the room toZoie, who was now thoroughly engrossed in the making of a fresh toilet. "Zoie!" she exclaimed excitedly, "Jimmy made a mistake. "

"Of course he'd do THAT, " answered Zoie carelessly. 

"But you don't understand, " persisted Aggie. "They sent the 'NIGHTmessage' TO-DAY. Alfred's coming on a special. He'll be here tonight. "

"Thank goodness for that!" cried Zoie, and the next instant she waswaltzing gaily about the room. 

"That's all very well, " answered Aggie, as she followed Zoie withanxious eyes, "but WHERE'S YOUR BABY?"

"Good heavens!" cried Zoie, and for the first time she became consciousof their predicament. She gazed at Aggie in consternation. "I forgot allabout it, " she said, and then asked with growing anxiety, "What can weDO?"

"Do?" echoed Aggie, scarcely knowing herself what answer to make, "we'vegot to GET it--TO-NIGHT. That's all!"

"But, " protested Zoie, "how CAN we get it when the mother hasn't signedthe papers yet?"

"Jimmy will have to arrange that with the Superintendent of the Home, "answered Aggie with decision, and she turned toward the 'phone toinstruct Jimmy accordingly. 

"Yes, that's right, " assented Zoie, glad to be rid of all furtherresponsibility, "we'll let Jimmy fix it. "

"Say, Jimmy, " called Aggie excitedly, "you'll have to go straight to theChildren's Home and get that baby just as quickly as you can. There'ssome red tape about the mother signing papers, but don't mind aboutthat. Make them give it to you to-night. Hurry, Jimmy. Don't waste aminute. "

There was evidently a protest from the other end of the wire, for Aggieadded impatiently, "Go on, Jimmy, do! You can EAT any time. " And withthat she hung up the receiver. 

"Its clothes, " called Zoie frantically. "Tell him about the clothes. Isent them this evening. "

"Never mind about the clothes, " answered Aggie. "We're lucky if we getthe baby. "

"But I have to mind, " persisted Zoie. "I gave all its other things tothe laundress. I wanted them to be nice and fresh. And now the horridold creature hasn't brought them back yet. "

"You get into your OWN things, " commanded Aggie. 

"Where's my dressing gown?" asked Zoie, her elation revived by thethought of her fine raiment, and with that she flew to the foot of thebed and snatched up two of the prettiest negligees ever imported fromParis. "Which do you like better?" she asked, as she held them bothaloft, "the pink or the blue?"

"It doesn't matter, " answered Aggie wearily. "Get into SOMETHING, that'sall. "

"Then unhook me, " commanded Zoie gaily, as she turned her back to Aggie, and continued to admire the two "creations" on her arm. So pleased wasshe with the picture of herself in either of the garments that she beganhumming a gay waltz and swaying to the rhythm. 

"Stand still, " commanded Aggie, but her warning was unnecessary, for atthat moment Zoie was transfixed by a horrible fear. 

"Suppose, " she said in alarm, "that Jimmy can't GET the baby?"

"He's GOT to get it, " answered Aggie emphatically, and she undid thelast stubborn hook of Zoie's gown and put the girl from her. "There, now, you're all unfastened, " she said, "hurry and get dressed. "

"You mean undressed, " laughed Zoie, as she let her pretty evening gownfall lightly from her shoulders and drew on her pink negligee. "Oh, Aggie!" she exclaimed, as she caught sight of her reflection in themirror, "isn't it a love? And you know, " she added. "Alfred just adorespink. "

"Silly!" answered Aggie, but in spite of herself, she was quite thrilledby the picture of the exquisite young creature before her. Zoie hadcertainly never looked more irresistible. "Can't you get some of thatcolour out of your cheeks, " asked Aggie in despair. "You look like awasherwoman. "

"I'll put on some cold cream and powder, " answered Zoie. She flew to herdressing table; and in a moment there was a white cloud in her immediatevicinity. She turned to Aggie to inquire the result. Again the 'phonerang. "Who's that?" she exclaimed in alarm. 

"I'll see, " answered Aggie. 

"It couldn't be Alfred, could it?" asked Zoie with mingled hope anddread. 

"Of course not, " answered Aggie, as she removed the receiver from thehook. "Alfred wouldn't 'phone, he would come right up. "

CHAPTER XV

Discovering that it was merely Jimmy "on the wire, " Zoie's uneasinessabated, but Aggie's anxiety was visibly increasing. 

"Where ARE you?" she asked of her spouse. "The Children's Home!" sherepeated, then followed further explanations from Jimmy which wereapparently not satisfactory. "Oh, Jimmy!" cried his disturbed wife, "itcan't be! That's horrible!"

"What is it?" shrieked Zoie, trying to get her small ear close enough tothe receiver to catch a bit of the obviously terrifying message. 

"Wait a minute, " called Aggie into the 'phone. Then she turned to Zoiewith a look of despair. "The mother's changed her mind, " she explained;"she won't give up the baby. "

"Good Lord!" cried Zoie, and she sank into the nearest chair. For aninstant the two women looked at each other with blank faces. "What canwe DO, " asked Zoie. 

Aggie did not answer immediately. This was indeed a serious predicament;but presently Zoie saw her friend's mouth becoming very resolute, andshe surmised that Aggie had solved the problem. "We'll have to getANOTHER baby, that's all, " decided Aggie. "There must be OTHER babies. "

"Where?" asked Zoie. 

"There, in the Children's Home, " answered Aggie with great confidence, and she returned to the 'phone. 

Zoie crossed to the bed and knelt at its foot in search of her littlepink slippers. 

"Oh, Aggie, " she sighed, "the others were all so red!"

But Aggie did not heed her protest. "Listen, Jimmy, " she called in the'phone, "can't you get another baby?" There was a pause, then Aggiecommanded hotly, "Well, GET in the business!" Another pause and thenAggie continued very firmly, "Tell the Superintendent that we JUST MUSThave one. "

Zoie stopped in the act of putting on her second slipper and called areminder to Aggie. "Tell him to get a HE one, " she said, "Alfred wants aboy. "

"Take what you can get!" answered Aggie impatiently, and again she gaveher attention to the 'phone. "What!" she cried, with growing despair, and Zoie waited to hear what had gone wrong now. "Nothing under threemonths, " explained Aggie. 

"Won't that do?" asked Zoie innocently. 

"Do!" echoed Aggie in disgust. "A three-months' old baby is as big as awhale. "

"Well, can't we say it GREW UP?" asked Zoie, priding herself on herpower of ready resource. 

"Overnight, like a mushroom?" sneered Aggie. 

Almost vanquished by her friend's new air of cold superiority, Zoiewas now on the verge of tears. "Somebody must have a new baby, " shefaltered. "Somebody ALWAYS has a new baby. "

"For their own personal USE, yes, " admitted Aggie, "but who has a newbaby for US?"

"How do I know?" asked Zoie helplessly. "You're the one who ought toknow. You got me into this, and you've GOT to get me out of it. Can youimagine, " she asked, growing more and more unhappy, "what would happento me if Alfred were to come home now and not find a baby? He wouldn'tforgive a LITTLE lie, what would he do with a WHOPPER like this?" Thenwith sudden decision, she rushed toward the 'phone. "Let me talk toJimmy, " she said, and the next moment she was chattering so rapidly andincoherently over the 'phone that Aggie despaired of hearing one wordthat she said, and retired to the next room to think out a new plan ofaction. 

"Say, Jimmy, " stammered Zoie into the 'phone, "you've GOT to get me ababy. If you don't, I'll kill myself! I will, Jimmy, I will. You got meinto this, Jimmy, " she reminded him. "You've GOT to get me out of it. "And then followed pleadings and coaxings and cajolings, and at length, a pause, during which Jimmy was apparently able to get in a word or so. His answer was not satisfactory to Zoie. "What!" she shrieked, tiptoeingto get her lips closer to the receiver; then she added with conviction, "the mother has no business to change her mind. "

Apparently Jimmy maintained that the mother had changed it none theless. 

"Well, take it away from her, " commanded Zoie. "Get it quick, while sheisn't looking. " Then casting a furtive glance over her shoulder to makesure that Aggie was still out of the room, she indulged in a few darkthreats to Jimmy, also some vehement reminders of how he had DRAGGED herinto that horrid old restaurant and been the immediate cause of all themisfortunes that had ever befallen her. 

Could Jimmy have been sure that Aggie was out of ear-shot of Zoie'sconversation, the argument would doubtless have kept up indefinitely--asit was--the result was a quick acquiescence on his part and by the timethat Aggie returned to the room, Zoie was wreathed in smiles. 

"It's all right, " she said sweetly. "Jimmy's going to get it. "

Aggie looked at her sceptically. "Goodness knows I hope so, " she said, then added in despair, "Look at your cheeks. They're flaming. "

Once more the powder puff was called into requisition, and Zoie turned atemporarily blanched face to Aggie. "Is that better?" she asked. 

"Very much, " answered Aggie, "but how about your hair?"

"What's the matter with it?" asked Zoie. Her reflection betrayed acoiffure that might have turned Marie Antoinette green with envy. 

"Would anybody think you'd been in bed for days?" asked Aggie. 

"Alfred likes it that way, " was Zoie's defence. 

"Turn around, " said Aggie, without deigning to argue the matter further. And she began to remove handfuls of hairpins from the yellow knottedcurls. 

"What are you doing?" exclaimed Zoie, as she sprayed her white neck andarms with her favourite perfume. 

Aggie did not answer. 

Zoie leaned forward toward the mirror to smooth out her eyebrows withthe tips of her perfumed fingers. "Good gracious, " she cried in horroras she caught sight of her reflection. "You're not going to put my hairin a pigtail!"

"That's the way invalids always have their hair, " was Aggie's laconicreply, and she continued to plait the obstinate curls. 

"I won't have it like that!" declared Zoie, and she shook herself freefrom Aggie's unwelcome attentions and proceeded to unplait the hatefulpigtail. "Alfred would leave me. "

Aggie shrugged her shoulders. 

"If you're going to make a perfect fright of me, " pouted Zoie, "I justwon't see him. "

"He isn't coming to see YOU, " reminded Aggie. "He's coming to see thebaby. "

"If Jimmy doesn't come soon, I'll not HAVE any baby, " answered Zoie. 

"Get into bed, " said Aggie, and she proceeded to turn down the soft lacecoverlets. 

"Where did I put my cap?" asked Zoie. Her eyes caught the small knot oflace and ribbons for which she was looking, and she pinned it on top ofher saucy little curls. 

"In you go, " said Aggie, motioning to the bed. 

"Wait, " said Zoie impressively, "wait till I get my rose lights on thepillow. " She pulled the slender gold chain of her night lamp; instantlythe large white pillows were bathed in a warm pink glow--she studiedthe effect very carefully, then added a lingerie pillow to the twomore formal ones, kicked off her slippers and hopped into bed. One moreglance at the pillows, then she arranged the ribbons of her negligee tofall "carelessly" outside the coverlet, threw one arm gracefully aboveher head, half-closed her eyes, and sank languidly back against herpillows. 

"How's that?" she breathed faintly. 

Controlling her impulse to smile, Aggie crossed to the dressing-tablewith a business-like air and applied to Zoie's pink cheeks a thirdcoating of powder. 

Zoie sat bolt upright and began to sneeze. "Aggie, " she said, "I justhate you when you act like that. " But suddenly she was seized with a newidea. 

"I wonder, " she mused as she looked across the room at the soft, pinksofa bathed in firelight, "I wonder if I shouldn't look better on thatcouch under those roses. "

Aggie was very emphatic in her opinion to the contrary. "Certainly not!"she said. 

"Then, " decided Zoie with a mischievous smile, "I'll get Alfred to carryme to the couch. That way I can get my arms around his neck. And onceyou get your arms around a man's neck, you can MANAGE him. "

Aggie looked down at the small person with distinct disapproval. "Now, don't you make too much fuss over Alfred, " she continued. "YOU'RE theone who's to do the forgiving. Don't forget that! What's more, " shereminded Zoie, "you're very, very weak. " But before she had time toinstruct Zoie further there was a sharp, quick ring at the outer door. 

The two women glanced at each other inquiringly. The next instant aman's step was heard in the hallway. 

"How is she, Mary?" demanded someone in a voice tense with anxiety. 

"It's Alfred!" exclaimed Zoie. 

"And we haven't any baby!" gasped Aggie. 

"What shall I do?" cried Zoie. 

"Lie down, " commanded Aggie, and Zoie had barely time to fall backlimply on the pillows when the excited young husband burst into theroom. 

CHAPTER XVI

When Alfred entered Zoie's bedroom he glanced about him in bewilderment. It appeared that he was in an enchanted chamber. Through the dim roselight he could barely perceive his young wife. She was lying white andapparently lifeless on her pillows. He moved cautiously toward the bed, but Aggie raised a warning finger. Afraid to speak, he grasped Aggie'shand and searched her face for reassurance; she nodded toward Zoie, whose eyes were closed. He tiptoed to the bedside, sank on his knees andreverently kissed the small hand that hung limply across the side of thebed. 

To Alfred's intense surprise, his lips had barely touched Zoie'sfingertips when he felt his head seized in a frantic embrace. "Alfred, Alfred!" cried Zoie in delight; then she smothered his face with kisses. As she lifted her head to survey her astonished husband, she caughtthe reproving eye of Aggie. With a weak little sigh, she relaxed hertenacious hold of Alfred, breathed his name very faintly, and sank back, apparently exhausted, upon her pillows. 

"It's been too much for her, " said the terrified young husband, and heglanced toward Aggie in anxiety. 

Aggie nodded assent. 

"How pale she looks, " added Alfred, as he surveyed the white face on thepillows. 

"She's so weak, poor dear, " sympathised Aggie, almost in a whisper. 

Alfred nodded his understanding to Aggie. It was then that his attentionwas for the first time attracted toward the crib. 

"My boy!" he exclaimed. And again Zoie forgot Aggie's warning andsat straight up in bed. But Alfred did not see her. He was makingdeterminedly for the crib, his heart beating high with the pride ofpossession. 

Throwing back the coverlets of the bassinette, Alfred stared at theempty bed in silence, then he quickly turned to the two anxious women. "Where is he?" he asked, his eyes wide with terror. 

Zoie's lips opened to answer, but no words came. 

Alfred's eyes turned to Aggie. The look on her face increased his worstfears. "Don't tell me he's----" he could not bring himself to utter theword. He continued to look helplessly from one woman to the other. 

In vain Zoie again tried to answer. Aggie also made an unsuccessfulattempt to speak. Then, driven to desperation by the strain of thesituation, Zoie declared boldly: "He's out. "

"Out?" echoed Alfred in consternation. 

"With Jimmy, " explained Aggie, coming to Zoie's rescue as well as sheknew how. 

"Jimmy!" repeated Alfred in great astonishment. 

"Just for a breath of air, " explained Zoie sweetly She had now entirelyregained her self-possession. 

"Isn't he very young to be out at night?" asked Alfred with a puzzledfrown. 

"We told Jimmy that, " answered Aggie, amazed at the promptnesswith which each succeeding lie presented itself. "But you see, " shecontinued, "Jimmy is so crazy about the child that we can't do anythingwith him. "

"Jimmy crazy about my baby?" exclaimed Alfred incredulously. "He alwayssaid babies were 'little red worms. '"

"Not this one, " answered Zoie sweetly. 

"No, indeed, " chimed in Aggie. "He acts as though he owned it. "

"Oh, DOES he?" exclaimed Alfred hotly. "I'll soon put a stop to that, "he declared. "Where did he take him?"

Again the two women looked at each other inquiringly, then Aggiestammered evasively. 

"Oh, j-just downstairs--somewhere. "

"I'll LOOK j-just downstairs somewhere, " decided Alfred, and he snatchedup his hat and started toward the door. 

"Alfred!" cried Zoie in alarm. 

Coming back to her bedside to reassure her, Alfred was caught in afrantic embrace. "I'll be back in a minute, dear, " he said, but Zoieclung to him and pleaded desperately. 

"You aren't going to leave me the very first thing?"

Alfred hesitated. He had no wish to be cruel to Zoie, but the thought ofJimmy out in the street with his baby at this hour of the night was notto be borne. 

Zoie renewed her efforts at persuasion. "Now, dearie, " she said, "Iwish you'd go get shaved and wash up a bit. I don't wish baby to see youlooking so horrid. "

"Yes, do, Alfred, " insisted Aggie. "He's sure to be here in a minute. "

"My boy won't care HOW his father looks, " declared Alfred proudly, andZoie told Aggie afterward that his chest had momentarily expanded threeinches. 

"But _I_ care, " persisted Zoie. "First impressions are so important. "

"Now, Zoie, " cautioned Aggie, as she crossed toward the bed withaffected solicitude. "You mustn't excite yourself. "

Zoie was quick to understand the suggested change in her tactics, andagain she sank back on her pillows apparently ill and faint. 

Utterly vanquished by the dire result of his apparently inhumanthoughtlessness, Alfred glanced at Aggie, uncertain as to how to repairthe injury. 

Aggie beckoned to him to come away from the bed. 

"Let her have her own way, " she whispered with a significant glancetoward Zoie. 

Alfred nodded understandingly and put a finger to his lips to signifythat he would henceforth speak in hushed tones, then he tiptoed back tothe bed and gently stroked the curls from Zoie's troubled forehead. 

"There now, dear, " he whispered, "lie still and rest and I'll go shaveand wash up a bit. "

Zoie sighed her acquiescence. 

"Mind, " he whispered to Aggie, "you are to call me the moment my boycomes, " and then he slipped quietly into the bedroom. 

No sooner had Alfred crossed the threshold, than Zoie sat up in bed andcalled in a sharp whisper to Aggie, "What's keeping them?" she asked. 

"I can't imagine, " answered Aggie, also in whisper. 

"If I had Jimmy here, " declared Zoie vindictively, "I'd wring his littlefat neck, " and slipping her little pink toes from beneath the covers, she was about to get out of bed, when Aggie, who was facing Alfred'sbedroom door, gave her a warning signal. 

Zoie had barely time to get back beneath the covers, when Alfredre-entered the room in search of his satchel. Aggie found it for himquickly. 

Alfred glanced solicitously at Zoie's closed eyes. "I'm so sorry, " heapologised to Aggie, and again he slipped softly out of the room. 

Aggie and Zoie drew together for consultation. 

"Suppose Jimmy can't get the baby, " whispered Zoie. 

"In that case, he'd have 'phoned, " argued Aggie. 

"Let's 'phone to the Home, " suggested Zoie, "and find----" She wasinterrupted by Alfred's voice. 

"Say, Aggie, " called Alfred from the next room. 

"Yes?" answered Aggie sweetly, and she crossed to the door and waited. 

"Hasn't he come yet?" called Alfred impatiently. 

"Not yet, Alfred, " said Aggie, and she closed the door very softly, lestAlfred should hear her. 

"I never knew Alfred could be so silly!" snapped Zoie. 

"Sh! sh!" warned Aggie, and she glanced anxiously toward Alfred's door. 

"He doesn't care a bit about me!" complained Zoie. "It's all that horridold baby that he's never seen. "

"If Jimmy doesn't come soon, he never WILL see it, " declared Aggie, andshe started toward the window to look out. 

Just then there was a short quick ring of the bell. The two womenglanced at each other with mingled hope and fear. Then their eyes soughtthe door expectantly. 

CHAPTER XVII

With the collar of his long ulster pushed high and the brim of his derbyhat pulled low, Jimmy Jinks crept cautiously into the room. When he atlength ceased to glance over his shoulder and came to a full stop, Aggieperceived a bit of white flannel hanging beneath the hem of his tightlybuttoned coat. 

"You've GOT it!" she cried. 

"Where is it?" asked Zoie. 

"Give it to me, " demanded Aggie. 

Jimmy stared at them as though stupefied, then glanced uneasily over hisshoulder, to make sure that no one was pursuing him. Aggie unbuttonedhis ulster, seized a wee mite wrapped in a large shawl, and clasped itto her bosom with a sigh of relief. "Thank heaven!" she exclaimed, thencrossed quickly to the bassinette and deposited her charge. 

In the meantime, having thrown discretion to the wind, Zoie had hoppedout of bed. As usual, her greeting to Jimmy was in the nature of areproach. "What kept you?" she demanded crossly. 

"Yes, " chimed in Aggie, who was now bending over the crib. "What madeyou so long?"

"See here!" answered Jimmy hotly, "if you two think you can do anybetter, you're welcome to the job, " and with that he threw off hisovercoat and sank sullenly on the couch. 

"Sh! sh!" exclaimed Zoie and Aggie, simultaneously, and they glancednervously toward Alfred's bedroom door. 

Jimmy looked at them without comprehending why he should "sh. " They didnot bother to explain. Instead, Zoie turned her back upon him. 

"Let's see it, " she said, peeping into the bassinette. And then with alittle cry of disgust she again looked at Jimmy reproachfully. "Isn't itugly?" she said. Jimmy's contempt for woman's ingratitude was toodeep for words, and he only stared at her in injured silence. But hisreflections were quickly upset when Alfred called from the next room, toinquire again about Baby. 

"Alfred's here!" whispered Jimmy, beginning to realise the meaning ofthe women's mysterious behaviour. 

"Sh! sh!" said Aggie again to Jimmy, and Zoie flew toward the bed, almost vaulting over the footboard in her hurry to get beneath thecovers. 

For the present Alfred did not disturb them further. Apparently he wasstill occupied with his shaving, but just as Jimmy was about to ask forparticulars, the 'phone rang. The three culprits glanced guiltily ateach other. 

"Who's that?" whispered Zoie in a frightened voice. 

Aggie crossed to the 'phone. "Hello, " she called softly. "The Children'sHome?" she exclaimed. 

Jimmy paused in the act of sitting and turned his round eyes toward the'phone. 

Aggie's facial expression was not reassuring. "But we can't, " she wassaying; "that's impossible. "

"What is it?" called Zoie across the foot of the bed, unable longer toendure the suspense. 

Aggie did not answer. She was growing more and more excited. "A thief!"she cried wildly, over the 'phone. "How dare you call my husband athief!"

Jimmy was following the conversation with growing interest. 

"Wait a minute, " said Aggie, then she left the receiver hanging by thecord and turned to the expectant pair behind her. "It's the Children'sHome, " she explained. "That awful woman says Jimmy STOLE her baby!"

"What!" exclaimed Zoie as though such depravity on Jimmy's part wereunthinkable. Then she looked at him accusingly, and asked in low, measured tones, "DID you STEAL HER BABY, JIMMY?"

"Didn't you tell me to?" asked Jimmy hotly. "Not literally, " correctedAggie. 

"How else COULD I steal a baby?" demanded Jimmy. 

Zoie looked at the unfortunate creature as if she could strangle him, and Aggie addressed him with a threat in her voice. 

"Well, the Superintendent says you've got to bring it straight back. "

"I'd like to see myself!" said Jimmy. 

"He sha'n't bring it back, " declared Zoie. "I'll not let him!"

"What shall I tell the Superintendent?" asked Aggie, "he's holding thewire. "

"Tell him he can't have it, " answered Zoie, as though that were the endof the whole matter. 

"Well, " concluded Aggie, "he says if Jimmy DOESN'T bring it back themother's coming after it. "

"Good Lord!" exclaimed Zoie. 

As for Jimmy, he bolted for the door. Aggie caught him by the sleeve ashe passed. "Wait, Jimmy, " she said peremptorily. There was a moment ofawful indecision, then something approaching an idea came to Zoie. 

"Tell the Superintendent that it isn't here, " she whispered to Aggieacross the footboard. "Tell him that Jimmy hasn't got here yet. "

"Yes, " agreed Jimmy, "tell him I haven't got here yet. "

Aggie nodded wisely and returned to the 'phone. "Hello, " she calledpleasantly; then proceeded to explain. "Mr. Jinks hasn't got here yet. "There was a pause, then she added in her most conciliatory tone, "I'lltell him what you say when he comes in. " Another pause, and she hung upthe receiver with a most gracious good-bye and turned to the others withincreasing misgivings. "He says he won't be responsible for that mothermuch longer--she's half-crazy. "

"What right has she to be crazy?" demanded Zoie in an abused voice. "She's a widow. She doesn't need a baby. "

"Well, " decided Aggie after careful deliberation, "you'd better take itback, Jimmy, before Alfred sees it. "

"What?" exclaimed Zoie in protest. And again Jimmy bolted, but again hefailed to reach the door. 

CHAPTER XVIII

His face covered with lather, and a shaving brush in one hand, Alfredentered the room just as his friend was about to escape. 

"Jimmy!" exclaimed the excited young father, "you're back. "

"Oh, yes--yes, " admitted Jimmy nervously, "I'm back. "

"My boy!" cried Alfred, and he glanced toward the crib. "He's here!"

"Yes--yes, " agreed Aggie uneasily, as she tried to place herself betweenAlfred and the bassinette. "He's here, but you mayn't have him, Alfred. "

"What?" exclaimed Alfred, trying to put her out of the way. 

"Not yet, " protested Aggie, "not just yet. "

"Give him to me, " demanded Alfred, and thrusting Aggie aside, he tookpossession of the small mite in the cradle. 

"But--but, Alfred, " pleaded Aggie, "your face. You'll get him all wet. "

Alfred did not heed her. He was bending over the cradle in an ecstasy. "My boy!" he cried, "my boy!" Lifting the baby in his arms he circledthe room cooing to him delightedly. 

"Was he away from home when his fadder came? Oh, me, oh, my! Coochy!Coochy! Coochy!" Suddenly he remembered to whom he owed this wondroustreasure and forgetful of the lather on his unshaven face he rushedtoward Zoie with an overflowing heart. "My precious!" he exclaimed, andhe covered her cheek with kisses. 

"Go away!" cried Zoie in disgust and she pushed Alfred from her andbrushed the hateful lather from her little pink check. 

But Alfred was not to be robbed of his exaltation, and again he circledthe room, making strange gurgling sounds to Baby. 

"Did a horrid old Jimmy take him away from fadder?" he saidsympathetically, in the small person's ear; and he glanced at Jimmy withfrowning disapproval. "I'd just like to see him get you away from meagain!" he added to Baby, as he tickled the mite's ear with the end ofhis shaving brush. "Oh, me! oh, my!" he exclaimed in trepidation, as heperceived a bit of lather on the infant's cheek. Then lifting the boyhigh in his arms and throwing out his chest with great pride, he lookedat Jimmy with an air of superiority. "I guess I'm bad, aye?" he said. 

Jimmy positively blushed. As for Zoie, she was growing more and moreimpatient for a little attention to herself. 

"Rock-a-bye, Baby, " sang Alfred in strident tones and he swung the childhigh in his arms. 

Jimmy and Aggie gazed at Alfred as though hypnotised. They kept time tohis lullaby out of sheer nervousness. Suddenly Alfred stopped, held thechild from him and gazed at it in horror. "Good heavens!" he exclaimed. The others waited breathlessly. "Look at that baby's face, " commandedAlfred. 

Zoie and Aggie exchanged alarmed glances, then Zoie asked intrepidation, "What's the matter with his face?"

"He's got a fever, " declared Alfred. And he started toward the bed toshow the child to its mother. 

"Go away!" shrieked Zoie, waving Alfred off in wild alarm. 

"What?" asked Alfred, backing from her in surprise. 

Aggie crossed quickly to Alfred's side and looked over his shoulder atthe boy. "I don't see anything wrong with its face, " she said. 

"It's scarlet!" persisted Alfred. 

"Oh, " said Jimmy with a superior air, "they're always like that. "

"Nothing of the sort, " snorted Alfred, and he glared at Jimmythreateningly. "You've frozen the child parading him around thestreets. "

"Let me have him, Alfred, " begged Aggie sweetly; "I'll put him in hiscrib and keep him warm. "

Reluctantly Alfred released the boy. His eyes followed him to the cribwith anxiety. "Where's his nurse?" he asked, as he glanced first fromone to the other. 

Zoie and Jimmy stared about the room as though expecting the desiredperson to drop from the ceiling. Then Zoie turned upon her unwaryaccomplice. 

"Jimmy, " she called in a threatening tone, "where IS his nurse?"

"Does Jimmy take the nurse out, too?" demanded Alfred, more and moreannoyed by the privileges Jimmy had apparently been usurping in hisabsence. 

"Never mind about the nurse, " interposed Aggie. "Baby likes me betteranyway. I'll tuck him in, " and she bent fondly over the crib, but Alfredwas not to be so easily pacified. 

"Do you mean to tell me, " he exclaimed excitedly, "that my boy hasn'tany nurse?"

"We HAD a nurse, " corrected Zoie, "but--but I had to discharge her. "

Alfred glanced from one to the other for an explanation. 

"Discharge her?" he repeated, "for what?"

"She was crazy, " stammered Zoie. 

Alfred's eyes sought Aggie's for confirmation. She nodded. He directedhis steady gaze toward Jimmy. The latter jerked his head up and down innervous assent. 

"Well, " said Alfred, amazed at their apparent lack of resource, "whydidn't you get ANOTHER nurse?"

"Aggie is going to stay and take care of baby to-night, " declared Zoie, and then she beamed upon Aggie as only she knew how. "Aren't you, dear?"she asked sweetly. 

"Yes, indeed, " answered Aggie, studiously avoiding Jimmy's eye. 

"Baby is going to sleep in the spare room with Aggie and Jimmy, " saidZoie. 

"What!" exclaimed Jimmy, too desperate to care what Alfred might infer. 

Ignoring Jimmy's implied protest, Zoie continued sweetly to Alfred:

"Now, don't worry, dear; go back to your room and finish your shaving. "

"Finish shaving?" repeated Alfred in a puzzled way. Then his hand wentmechanically to his cheek and he stared at Zoie in astonishment. "ByJove!" he exclaimed, "I had forgotten all about it. That shows you howexcited I am. " And with a reluctant glance toward the cradle, he wentquickly from the room, singing a high-pitched lullaby. 

Just as the three conspirators were drawing together for consultation, Alfred returned to the room. It was apparent that there was somethingimportant on his mind. 

"By the way, " he said, glancing from one to another, "I forgot toask--what's his name?"

The conspirators looked at each other without answering. To Alfred theirdelay was annoying. Of course his son had been given his father's name, but he wished to HEAR someone say so. 

"Baby's, I mean, " he explained impatiently. 

Jimmy felt instinctively that Zoie's eyes were upon him. He avoided hergaze. 

"Jimmy!" called Zoie, meaning only to appeal to him for a name. 

"Jimmy!" thundered the infuriated Alfred. "You've called my boy 'Jimmy'?Why 'Jimmy'?"

For once Zoie was without an answer. 

After waiting in vain for any response, Alfred advanced upon theuncomfortable Jimmy. 

"You seem to be very popular around here, " he sneered. 

Jimmy shifted uneasily from one foot to the other and studied thepattern of the rug upon which he was standing. 

After what seemed an age to Jimmy, Alfred turned his back upon his oldfriend and started toward his bedroom. Jimmy peeped out uneasily fromhis long eyelashes. When Alfred reached the threshold, he faced aboutquickly and stared again at Jimmy for an explanation. It seemed to Jimmythat Alfred's nostrils were dilating. He would not have been surprisedto see Alfred snort fire. He let his eyes fall before the awfulspectacle of his friend's wrath. Alfred's upper lip began to curl. Hecast a last withering look in Jimmy's direction, retired quickly fromthe scene and banged the door. 

When Jimmy again had the courage to lift his eyes he was confronted bythe contemptuous gaze of Zoie, who was sitting up in bed and regardinghim with undisguised disapproval. 

"Why didn't you tell him what the baby's name is?" she demanded. 

"How do _I_ know what the baby's name is?" retorted Jimmy savagely. 

"Sh! sh!" cautioned Aggie as she glanced nervously toward the doorthrough which Alfred had just passed. 

"What does it matter WHAT the baby's name is so long as we have to sendit back?"

"I'll NOT send it back, " declared Zoie emphatically, "at least not untilmorning. That will give Jimmy a whole night to get another one. "

"Another!" shrieked Jimmy. "See here, you two can't be changing babiesevery five minutes without Alfred knowing it. Even HE has SOME sense. "

"Nonsense!" answered Aggie shortly. "You know perfectly well that allyoung babies look just alike. Their own mothers couldn't tell themapart, if it weren't for their clothes. "

"But where can we GET another?" asked Zoie. 

Before Aggie could answer, Alfred was again heard calling from the nextroom. Apparently all his anger had subsided, for he inquired in the mostamiable tone as to what baby might be doing and how he might be feeling. Aggie crossed quickly to the door, and sweetly reassured the anxiousfather, then she closed the door softly and turned to Zoie and Jimmywith a new inspiration lighting her face. "I have it, " she exclaimedecstatically. 

Jimmy regarded his spouse with grave suspicion. 

"Now see here, " he objected, "every time YOU 'HAVE IT, ' I DO IT. TheNEXT time you 'HAVE IT' YOU DO IT!"

The emphasis with which Jimmy made his declaration deservedconsideration, but to his amazement it was entirely ignored by bothwomen. Hopping quickly out of bed, without even glancing in hisdirection, Zoie gave her entire attention to Aggie. "What is it?" sheasked eagerly. 

"There must be OTHER babies' Homes, " said Aggie, and she glanced atJimmy from her superior height. 

"They aren't open all night like corner drug stores, " growled Jimmy. 

"Well, they ought to be, " decided Zoie. 

"And surely, " argued Aggie, "in an extraordinary case--like----"

"This was an 'extraordinary case, '" declared Jimmy, "and you saw whathappened this time, and the Superintendent is a friend of mine--at leasthe WAS a friend of mine. " And with that Jimmy sat himself down on thefar corner of the couch and proceeded to ruminate on the havoc thatthese two women had wrought in his once tranquil life. 

Zoie gazed at Jimmy in deep disgust; her friend Aggie had made anexcellent suggestion, and instead of acting upon it with alacrity, heresat Jimmy sulking like a stubborn child. 

"I suppose, " said Zoie, as her eyebrows assumed a bored angle, "thereare SOME babies in the world outside of Children's Homes. "

"Of course, " was Aggie's enthusiastic rejoinder; "there's one born everyminute. "

"But I was born BETWEEN minutes, " protested Jimmy. 

"Who's talking about you?" snapped Zoie. 

Again Aggie exclaimed that she "had it. "

"She's got it twice as bad, " groaned Jimmy, and he wondered what newform her persecution of him was about to take. 

"Where is the morning paper?" asked Aggie, excitedly. 

"We can't advertise NOW, " protested Zoie. "It's too late for that. "

"Sh! Sh!" answered Aggie, as she snatched the paper quickly fromthe table and began running her eyes up and down its third page. "Married--married, " she murmured, and then with delight she foundthe half column for which she was searching. "Born, " she exclaimedtriumphantly. "Here we are! Get a pencil, Zoie, and we'll take down allthe new ones. "

"Of course, " agreed Zoie, clapping her hands in glee, "and Jimmy can geta taxi and look them right up. "

"Oh, CAN he?" shouted Jimmy as he rose with clenched fists. "Now youtwo, see here----"

Before Jimmy could complete his threat, there was a sharp ring of thedoor bell. He looked at the two women inquiringly. 

"It's the mother, " cried Zoie in a hoarse whisper. 

"The mother!" repeated Jimmy in terror and he glanced uncertainly fromone door to the other. 

"Cover up the baby!" called Zoie, and drawing Jimmy's overcoat quicklyfrom his arm, Aggie threw it hurriedly over the cradle. 

For an instant Jimmy remained motionless in the centre of the room, hatless, coatless, and shorn of ideas. A loud knock on the door decidedhim and he sank with trembling knees behind the nearest armchair, justas Zoie made a flying leap into the bed and prepared to draw the coverover her head. 

The knock was repeated and Aggie signalled to Zoie to answer it. 

"Come in!" called Zoie very faintly. 

CHAPTER XIX

From his hiding-place Jimmy peeped around the edge of the armchair andsaw what seemed to be a large clothes basket entering the room. Closerinspection revealed the small figure of Maggie, the washerwoman'sdaughter, propelling the basket, which was piled high with freshlylaundered clothing. Jimmy drew a long sigh of relief, and unknotted hiscramped limbs. 

"Shall I lay the things on the sofa, mum?" asked Maggie as she placedher basket on the floor and waited for Zoie's instructions. 

"Yes, please, " answered Zoie, too exhausted for further comment. 

Taking the laundry piece by piece from the basket, Maggie made excusesfor its delay, while she placed it on the couch. Deaf to Maggie'schatter, Zoie lay back languidly on her pillows; but she soon heardsomething that lifted her straight up in bed. 

"Me mother is sorry she had to kape you waitin' this week, " said Maggieover her shoulder; "but we've got twins at OUR house. "

"Twins!" echoed Zoie and Aggie simultaneously. Then together they staredat Maggie as though she had been dropped from another world. 

Finding attention temporarily diverted from himself, Jimmy had begun torearrange both his mind and his cravat when he felt rather than saw thathis two persecutors were regarding him with a steady, determined gaze. In spite of himself, Jimmy raised his eyes to theirs. 

"Twins!" was their laconic answer. 

Now, Jimmy had heard Maggie's announcement about the bountiful supplyof offspring lately arrived at her house, but not until he caught thefanatical gleam in the eyes of his companions did he understand thepart they meant him to play in their next adventure. He waited for noexplanation--he bolted toward the door. 

"Wait, Jimmy, " commanded Aggie. But it was not until she had laid firmhold of him that he waited. 

Surprised by such strange behaviour on the part of those whom sheconsidered her superiors, Maggie looked first at Aggie, then at Jimmy, then at Zoie, uncertain whether to go or to stay. 

"Anythin' to go back, mum?" she stammered. 

Zoie stared at Maggie solemnly from across the foot of the bed. "Maggie, " she asked in a deep, sepulchral tone, "where do you live?"

"Just around the corner on High Street, mum, " gasped Maggie. Then, keeping her eyes fixed uneasily on Zoie she picked up her basket andbacked cautiously toward the door. 

"Wait!" commanded Zoie; and Maggie paused, one foot in mid-air. "Wait inthe hall, " said Zoie. 

"Yes'um, " assented Maggie, almost in a whisper. Then she nodded herhead jerkily, cast another furtive glance at the three persons who wereregarding her so strangely, and slipped quickly through the door. 

Having crossed the room and stealthily closed the door, Aggie returnedto Jimmy, who was watching her with the furtive expression of a trappedanimal. 

"It's Providence, " she declared, with a grave countenance. 

Jimmy looked up at Aggie with affected innocence, then rolled his roundeyes away from her. He was confronted by Zoie, who had approached fromthe opposite side of the room. 

"It's Fate, " declared Zoie, in awe-struck tones. 

Jimmy was beginning to wriggle, but he kept up a last desperate presenceof not understanding them. 

"You needn't tell me I'm going to take the wash to the old lady, " hesaid, "for I'm not going to do it. "

"It isn't the WASH, " said Aggie, and her tone warned him that sheexpected no nonsense from him. 

"You know what we are thinking about just as well as we do, " said Zoie. "I'll write that washerwoman a note and tell her we must have one ofthose babies right now. " And with that she turned toward her desk andbegan rummaging amongst her papers for a pencil and pad. "The luck ofthese poor, " she murmured. 

"The luck of US, " corrected Aggie, whose spirits were now soaring. Thenshe turned to Jimmy with growing enthusiasm. "Just think of it, dear, "she said, "Fate has sent us a baby to our very door. "

"Well, " declared Jimmy, again beginning to show signs of fight, "ifFate has sent a baby to the door, you don't need me, " and with that hesnatched his coat from the crib. 

"Wait, Jimmy, " again commanded Aggie, and she took his coat gently butfirmly from him. 

"Now, see here, " argued Jimmy, trying to get free from his strong-mindedspouse, "you know perfectly well that that washerwoman isn't going tolet us have that baby. "

"Nonsense, " called Zoie over her shoulder, while she scribbled a hurriednote to the washerwoman. "If she won't let us have it 'for keeps, ' I'lljust 'rent it. '"

"Good Lord!" exclaimed Jimmy in genuine horror. "Warm, fresh, palpitating babies rented as you would rent a gas stove!"

"That's all a pose, " declared Aggie, in a matter-of-fact tone. "Youthink babies 'little red worms, ' you've said so. "

Jimmy could not deny it. 

"She'll be only too glad to rent it, " declared Zoie, as she glancedhurriedly through the note just written, and slipped it, together witha bill, into an envelope. "I'll pay her anything. It's only until I canget another one. "

"Another!" shouted Jimmy, and his eyes turned heavenward for help. "Anendless chain with me to put the links together!"

"Don't be so theatrical, " said Aggie, irritably, as she took up Jimmy'scoat and prepared to get him into it. 

"Why DO you make such a fuss about NOTHING, " sighed Zoie. 

"Nothing?" echoed Jimmy, and he looked at her with wondering eyes. "I crawl about like a thief in the night snatching babies from theirmother's breasts, and you call THAT nothing?"

"You don't have to 'CRAWL, '" reminded Zoie, "you can take a taxi. "

"Here's your coat, dear, " said Aggie graciously, as she endeavoured toslip Jimmy's limp arms into the sleeves of the garment. 

"You can take Maggie with you, " said Zoie, with the air of conferring adistinct favour upon him. 

"And the wash on my lap, " added Jimmy sarcastically. 

"No, " said Zoie, unruffled by Jimmy's ungracious behaviour. "We'll sendthe wash later. "

"That's very kind of you, " sneered Jimmy, as he unconsciously allowedhis arms to slip into the sleeves of the coat Aggie was urging upon him. 

"All you need to do, " said Aggie complacently, "is to get us the baby. "

"Yes, " said Jimmy, "and what do you suppose my friends would say if theywere to see me riding around town with the wash-lady's daughter and ababy on my lap? What would YOU say?" he asked Aggie, "if you didn't knowthe facts?"

"Nobody's going to see you, " answered Aggie impatiently; "it's onlyaround the corner. Go on, Jimmy, be a good boy. "

"You mean a good thing, " retorted Jimmy without budging from the spot. 

"How ridiculous!" exclaimed Zoie; "it's as easy as can be. "

"Yes, the FIRST one SOUNDED easy, too, " said Jimmy. 

"All you have to do, " explained Zoie, trying to restrain her risingintolerance of his stupidity, "is to give this note to Maggie's mother. She'll give you her baby, you bring it back here, we'll give you THISone, and you can take it right back to the Home. "

"And meet the other mother, " concluded Jimmy with a shake of his head. 

There was a distinct threat in Zoie's voice when she again addressed thestubborn Jimmy and the glitter of triumph was in her eyes. 

"You'd better meet here THERE than HERE, " she warned him; "you know whatthe Superintendent said. "

"That's true, " agreed Aggie with an anxious face. "Come now, " shepleaded, "it will only take a minute; you can do the whole thing beforeyou have had time to think. "

"Before I have had time to think, " repeated Jimmy excitedly. "That's howyou get me to do everything. Well, this time I've HAD time to think andI don't think I will!" and with that he threw himself upon the couch, unmindful of the damage to the freshly laundered clothes. 

"Get up, " cried Zoie. 

"You haven't time to sit down, " said Aggie. 

"I'll TAKE time, " declared Jimmy. His eyes blinked ominously and heremained glued to the couch. 

There was a short silence; the two women gazed at Jimmy in despair. Remembering a fresh grievance, Jimmy turned upon them. 

"By the way, " he said, "do you two know that I haven't had anything toeat yet?"

"And do you know, " said Zoie, "that Alfred may be back at any minute? Hecan't stay away forever. "

"Not unless he has cut his throat, " rejoined Jimmy, "and that's what I'ddo if I had a razor. "

Zoie regarded Jimmy as though he were beyond redemption. "Can't you everthink of anybody but yourself?" she asked, with a martyred air. 

Had Jimmy been half his age, Aggie would have felt sure that she saw himmake a face at her friend for answer. As it was, she resolved to makeone last effort to awaken her unobliging spouse to a belated sense ofduty. 

"You see, dear, " she said, "you might better get the washerwoman's babythan to go from house to house for one, " and she glanced again towardthe paper. 

"Yes, " urged Zoie, "and that's just what you'll HAVE to do, if you don'tget this one. "

Jimmy's head hung dejectedly. It was apparent that his courage wasslipping from him. Aggie was quick to realise her opportunity, andbefore Jimmy could protect himself from her treacherous wiles, she hadslipped one arm coyly about his neck. 

"Now, Jimmy, " she pleaded as she pressed her soft cheek to his throbbingtemple, and toyed with the bay curl on his perspiring forehead, "wontyou do this little teeny-weepy thing just for me?"

Jimmy's lips puckered in a pout; he began to blink nervously. Aggieslipped her other arm about his neck. 

"You know, " she continued with a baby whine, "I got Zoie into this, andI've just got to get her out of it. You're not going to desert me, are you, Jimmy? You WILL help me, won't you, dear?" Her breath was onJimmy's cheek; he could feel her lips stealing closer to his. He had notbeen treated to much affection of late. His head drooped lower--he beganto twiddle the fob on his watch chain. "Won't you?" persisted Aggie. 

Jimmy studied the toes of his boots. 

"Won't you?" she repeated, and her soft eyelashes just brushed the tipof his retrousee nose. 

Jimmy's head was now wagging from side to side. 

"Won't you?" she entreated a fourth time, and she kissed him full on thelips. 

With a resigned sigh, Jimmy rose mechanically from the heap of crushedlaundry and held out his fat chubby hand. 

"Give me the letter, " he groaned. 

"Here you are, " said Zoie, taking Jimmy's acquiescence as a matter ofcourse; and she thrust the letter into the pocket of Jimmy's ulster. "Now, when you get back with the baby, " she continued, "don't come inall of a sudden; just wait outside and whistle. You CAN WHISTLE, can'tyou?" she asked with a doubtful air. 

For answer, Jimmy placed two fingers between his lips and produced ashrill whistle that made both Zoie and Aggie glance nervously towardAlfred's bedroom door. 

"Yes, you can WHISTLE, " admitted Zoie, then she continued herdirections. "If Alfred is not in the room, I'll raise the shade and youcan come right up. "

"And if he is in the room?" asked Jimmy with a fine shade of sarcasm. 

"If he IS in the room, " explained Zoie, "you must wait outside until Ican get rid of him. "

Jimmy turned his eyes toward Aggie to ask if it were possible that shestill approved of Zoie's inhuman plan. For answer Aggie stroked his coatcollar fondly. 

"We'll give you the signal the moment the coast is clear, " she said, then she hurriedly buttoned Jimmy's large ulster and wound a mufflerabout his neck. "There now, dear, do go, you're all buttoned up, " andwith that she urged him toward the door. 

"Just a minute, " protested Jimmy, as he paused on the threshold. "Let meget this right, if the shade is up, I stay down. "

"Not at all, " corrected Aggie and Zoie in a breath. "If the shade is up, you come up. "

Jimmy cast another martyred look in Zoie's direction. 

"You won't hurry will you?" he said, "you know it is only twenty-threebelow zero and I haven't had anything to eat yet--and----"

"Yes, we know, " interrupted the two women in chorus, and then Aggieadded wearily, "go on, Jimmy; don't be funny. "

"Funny?" snorted Jimmy. "With a baby on my lap and the wash lady'sdaughter, I won't be funny, oh no!"

It is doubtful whether Jimmy would not have worked himself into anotherstate of open rebellion had not Aggie put an end to his protests bythrusting him firmly out of the room and closing the door behind him. After this act of heroic decision on her part, the two women listenedintently, fearing that he might return; but presently they heard thebang of the outer door, and at last they drew a long breath of relief. For the first time since Alfred's arrival, Aggie was preparing to sinkinto a chair, when she was startled by a sharp exclamation from Zoie. 

"Good heavens, " cried Zoie, "I forgot to ask Maggie. "

"Ask her what?" questioned Aggie. 

"Boys or girls, " said Zoie, with a solemn look toward the door throughwhich Jimmy had just disappeared. 

"Well, " decided Aggie, after a moment's reflection, "it's too late now. Anyway, " she concluded philosophically, "we couldn't CHANGE it. "

CHAPTER XX

With more or less damage to himself consequent on his excitement, Alfredcompleted his shaving and hastened to return to his wife and the babe. Finding the supposedly ill Zoie careering about the centre of the roomexpostulating with Aggie, the young man stopped dumbfounded on thethreshold. 

"Zoie, " he cried in astonishment. "What are you doing out of bed?"

For an instant the startled Zoie gazed at him stupefied. 

"Why, I--I----" Her eyes sought Aggie's for a suggestion; there was noanswer there. It was not until her gaze fell upon the cradle that shewas seized by the desired inspiration. 

"I just got up to see baby, " she faltered, then putting one hand giddilyto her head, she pretended to sway. 

In an instant Alfred's arms were about her. He bore her quickly to thebed. "You stay here, my darling, " he said tenderly. "I'll bring babyto you, " and after a solicitous caress he turned toward baby's crib andbent fondly over the little one. "Ah, there's father's man, " he said. "Was he lonesome baby? Oh, goodis g'acious, " then followed an incoherentmuttering of baby talk, as he bore the youngster toward Zoie's bed. "Come, my precious, " he called to Zoie, as he sank down on the edge ofthe bed. "See mother's boy. "

"Mother!" shrieked Zoie in horror. It had suddenly dawned upon her thatthis was the name by which Alfred would no doubt call her for the restof her life. She almost detested him. 

But Alfred did not see the look of disgust on Zoie's face. He was whollyabsorbed by baby. 

"What a funny face, " he cooed as he pinched the youngster's cheek. "Great Scott, what a grip, " he cried as the infant's fingers closedaround his own. "Will you look at the size of those hands, " heexclaimed. 

Zoie and Aggie exchanged worried glances; the baby had no doubtinherited his large hands from his mother. 

"Say, Aggie, " called Alfred, "what are all of these little speckson baby's forehead?" He pointed toward the infant's brow. "One, two, three, " he counted. 

Zoie was becoming more and more uncomfortable at the close proximity ofthe little stranger. 

"Oh, " said Aggie, with affected carelessness as she leaned over Alfred'sshoulder and glanced at baby's forehead. "That is just a little rash. "

"A rash!" exclaimed Alfred excitedly, "that's dangerous, isn't it? We'dbetter call up the doctor. " And he rose and started hurriedly toward thetelephone, baby in arms. 

"Don't be silly, " called Zoie, filled with vague alarm at the thought ofthe family physician's appearance and the explanations that this mightentail. 

Stepping between Alfred and the 'phone, Aggie protested frantically. "You see, Alfred, " she said, "it is better to have the rash OUT, itwon't do any harm unless it turns IN. "

"He's perfectly well, " declared Zoie, "if you'll only put him in hiscrib and leave him alone. "

Alfred looked down at his charge. "Is that right, son?" he asked, and hetickled the little fellow playfully in the ribs. "I'll tell you what, "he called over his shoulder to Zoie, "he's a fine looking boy. " And thenwith a mysterious air, he nodded to Aggie to approach. "Whom does helook like?" he asked. 

Again Zoie sat up in anxiety. Aggie glanced at her, uncertain whatanswer to make. 

"I--I hadn't thought, " she stammered weakly. 

"Go on, go on, " exclaimed the proud young father, "you can't tell methat you can look at that boy and not see the resemblance. "

"To whom?" asked Aggie, half fearfully. 

"Why, " said Alfred, "he's the image of Zoie. "

Zoie gazed at the puckered red face in Alfred's arms. "What!" sheshrieked in disgust, then fall back on her pillows and drew the lacecoverlet over her face. 

Mistaking Zoie's feeling for one of embarrassment at being over-praised, Alfred bore the infant to her bedside. "See, dear, " he persisted, "seefor yourself, look at his forehead. "

"I'd rather look at you, " pouted Zoie, peeping from beneath thecoverlet, "if you would only put that thing down for a minute. "

"Thing?" exclaimed Alfred, as though doubting his own ears. But beforehe could remonstrate further, Zoie's arms were about his neck and shewas pleading jealously for his attention. 

"Please, Alfred, " she begged, "I have scarcely had a look at you, yet. "

Alfred shook his head and turned to baby with an indulgent smile. It waspleasant to have two such delightful creatures bidding for his entireattention. 

"Dear me, " he said to baby. "Dear me, tink of mudder wanting to look ata big u'gy t'ing like fadder, when she could look at a 'itty witty t'inglike dis, " and he rose and crossed to the crib where he deposited thesmall creature with yet more gurgling and endearing. 

Zoie's dreams of rapture at Alfred's home coming had not included suchdivided attention as he was now showing her and she was growing more andmore desperate at the turn affairs had taken. She resolved to put a stopto his nonsense and to make him realise that she and no one else was thelode star of his existence. She beckoned to Aggie to get out of theroom and to leave her a clear field and as soon as her friend had gonequietly into the next room, she called impatiently to Alfred who wasstill cooing rapturously over the young stranger. Finding Alfred deafto her first entreaty, Zoie shut her lips hard, rearranged her prettyhead-dress, drew one fascinating little curl down over her shoulder, reknotted the pink ribbon of her negligee, and then issued a final andimperious order for her husband to attend her. 

"Yes, yes, dear, " answered Alfred, with a shade of impatience. "I'mcoming, I'm coming. " And bidding a reluctant farewell to the smallperson in the crib, he crossed to her side. 

Zoie caught Alfred's hand and drew him down to her; he smiledcomplacently. 

"Well, " he said in the patronising tone that Zoie always resented. "Howis hubby's little girl?"

"It's about time, " pouted Zoie, "that you made a little fuss over me fora change. "

"My own!" murmured Alfred. He stooped to kiss the eager lips, but justas his young wife prepared to lend herself to his long delayed embrace, his mind was distracted by an uneasy thought. "Do you think that Babyis----"

He was not permitted to finish the sentence. 

Zoie drew him back to her with a sharp exclamation. 

"Think of ME for a while, " she commanded. 

"My darling, " expostulated Alfred with a shade of surprise at hervehemence. "How could I think of anyone else?" Again he stooped toembrace her and again his mind was directed otherwise. "I wonder if Babyis warm enough, " he said and attempted to rise. 

"Wonder about ME for a while, " snapped Zoie, clinging to himdeterminedly. 

Again Alfred looked at her in amazement. Was it possible there wasanything besides Baby worth wondering about? Whether there was or not, Zoie was no longer to be resisted and with a last regretful look at thecrib, he resigned himself to giving his entire attention to his spoiledyoung wife. 

Gratified by her hard-won conquest, Zoie now settled herself in Alfred'sarms. 

"You haven't told me what you did all the time that you were away, " shereminded him. 

"Oh, there was plenty to do, " answered Alfred. 

"Did you think of me every minute?" she asked jealously. 

"That would be telling, " laughed Alfred, as he pinched her small pinkear. 

"I wish to be 'told, '" declared Zoie; "I don't suppose you realise it, but if I were to live a THOUSAND YEARS, I'd never be quite sure what youdid during those FEW MONTHS. "

"It was nothing that you wouldn't have been proud of, " answered Alfred, with an unconscious expansion of his chest. 

"Do you love me as much as ever?" asked Zoie. 

"Behave yourself, " answered Alfred, trying not to appear flatteredby the discovery that his absence had undoubtedly caused her greatuneasiness. 

"Well, SAY it!" demanded Zoie. 

"You know I do, " answered Alfred, with the diffidence of a school boy. 

"Then kiss me, " concluded Zoie, with an air of finality that left Alfredno alternative. 

As a matter of fact, Alfred was no longer seeking an alternative. He wasagain under the spell of his wife's adorable charms and he kissed hernot once, but many times. 

"Foolish child, " he murmured, then he laid her tenderly against thelarge white pillows, remonstrating with her for being so spoiled, andcautioning her to be a good little girl while he went again to see aboutBaby. 

Zoie clung to his hand and feigned approaching tears. 

"You aren't thinking of me at all?" she pouted. "And kisses are nogood unless you put your whole mind on them. Give me a real kiss!" shepleaded. 

Again Alfred stooped to humour the small importunate person who was sojealous of his every thought, but just as his lips touched her foreheadhis ear was arrested by a sound as yet new both to him and to Zoie. Helifted his head and listened. 

"What was that?" he asked. 

"I don't know, " answered Zoie, wondering if the cat could have got intothe room. 

A redoubled effort on the part of the young stranger directed theirattention in the right direction. 

"My God!" exclaimed Alfred tragically, "it's Baby. He's crying. " Andwith that, he rushed to the crib and clasped the small mite close to hisbreast, leaving Zoie to pummel the pillows in an agony of vexation. 

After vain cajoling of the angry youngster, Alfred bore him excitedly toZoie's bedside. 

"You'd better take him, dear, " he said. 

To the young husband's astonishment, Zoie waved him from her in terror, and called loudly for Aggie. But no sooner had Aggie appeared on thescene, than a sharp whistle was heard from the pavement below. 

"Pull down the shade!" cried Zoie frantically. 

Aggie hastened toward the window. 

Attributing Zoie's uneasiness to a caprice of modesty, Alfred turnedfrom the cradle to reassure her. 

"No one can see in way up here, " he said. 

To Zoie's distress, the lowering of the shade was answered by a yetshriller whistle from the street below. 

"Was it 'up' or 'down'?" cried Zoie to Aggie in an agony of doubt, asshe tried to recall her instructions to Jimmy. 

"I don't know, " answered Aggie. "I've forgotten. "

Another impatient whistle did not improve their memory. Alarmed byZoie's increasing excitement, and thinking she was troubled merely bya sick woman's fancy that someone might see through the window, Alfredplaced the babe quickly in its cradle and crossed to the young wife'sbed. 

"It was up, dear, " he said. "You had Aggie put it down. "

"Then I want it up, " declared the seemingly perverse Zoie. 

"But it was up, " argued Alfred. 

A succession of emotional whistles set Zoie to pounding the pillows. 

"Put it down!" she commanded. 

"But Zoie----" protested Alfred. 

"Did I say 'up' or did I say 'down'?" moaned the half-demented Zoie, while long whistles and short whistles, appealing whistles and impatientwhistles followed each other in quick succession. 

"You said down, dear, " persisted Alfred, now almost as distracted as hiswife. 

Zoie waved him from the room. "I wish you'd get out of here, " she cried;"you make me so nervous that I can't think at all. "

"Of course, dear, " murmured Alfred, "if you wish it. " And with a hurtand perplexed expression on his face he backed quickly from the room. 

CHAPTER XXI

When Zoie's letter asking for the O'Flarety twin had reached that younglady's astonished mother, Mrs. O'Flarety felt herself suddenly lifted toa position of importance. 

"Think of the purty Mrs. Hardy a wantin' my little Bridget, " sheexclaimed, and she began to dwell upon the romantic possibilities ofher offspring's future under the care of such a "foine stylish lady andconcluded by declaring it 'a lucky day entoirely. '"

Jimmy had his misgivings about it being Bridget's "LUCKY day, " but itwas not for him to delay matters by dwelling upon the eccentricitiesof Zoie's character, and when Mrs. O'Flarety had deposited Bridget inJimmy's short arms and slipped a well filled nursing bottle into hisovercoat pocket, he took his leave hastily, lest the excited woman addBridget's twin to her willing offering. 

Once out of sight of the elated mother, Jimmy thrust the defencelessBridget within the folds of his already snug ulster, buttoned thegarment in such places as it would meet, and made for the taxi which, owing to the upset condition of the street, he had been obliged toabandon at the corner. 

Whether the driver had obtained a more promising "fare" or been runin by the police, Jimmy never knew. At any rate it was in vain that helooked for his vehicle. So intense was the cold that it was impossibleto wait for a chance taxi; furthermore, the meanness of the districtmade it extremely unlikely that one would appear, and glancing guiltilybehind him to make sure that no one was taking cognisance of his strangeexploit, Jimmy began picking his way along dark lanes and avoiding thelighted thoroughfare on which the "Sherwood" was situated, until he waswithin a block of his destination. 

Panting with haste and excitement, he eventually gained courage todash through a side street that brought him within a few doors of the"Sherwood. " Again glancing behind him, he turned the well lighted cornerand arrived beneath Zoie's window to find one shade up and one down. Inhis perplexity he emitted a faint whistle. Immediately he saw the othershade lowered. Uncertain as to what arrangement he had actually madewith Zoie, he ventured a second whistle. The result was a hystericalrunning up and down of the shade which left him utterly bewildered as towhat disposition he was supposed to make of the wobbly bit of humanitypressed against his shirt front. 

Reaching over his artificially curved figure to grasp a bit of whitethat trailed below his coat, he looked up to see a passing policemaneyeing him suspiciously. 

"Taking the air?" asked the policeman. 

"Ye-yes, " mumbled Jimmy with affected nonchalence and he knocked theheels of his boots together in order to keep his teeth from chattering. "It's a fi-fine ni-night for air, " he stuttered. 

"Is it?" said the policeman, and to Jimmy's horror, he saw the fellow'seyes fix themselves on the bit of white. 

"Go-good-night, " stammered Jimmy hurriedly, and trying to assume aneasy stride in spite of the uncomfortable addition to his already rotundfigure, he slipped into the hotel, where avoiding the lighted elevator, he laboured quickly, up the stairs. 

At the very moment when Zoie was driving Alfred in consternation fromthe room, Jimmy entered it uninvited. 

"Get out, " was the inhospitable greeting received simultaneously fromZoie and Aggie, and without waiting for further instructions he "got. "

Fortunately for all concerned, Alfred, who was at the same momentdeparting by way of the bedroom door, did not look behind him; but itwas some minutes before Aggie who had followed Jimmy into the hall couldpersuade him to return. 

After repeated and insistent signals both from Aggie and Zoie, Jimmy'sround red face appeared cautiously around the frame of the door. It boreunmistakable indications of apoplexy. But the eyes of the women were notupon Jimmy's face, they too had caught sight of the bit of white thathung below his coat, and dragging him quickly into the room and closingthe door, Aggie proceeded without inquiry or thanks to unbutton his coatand to take from beneath it the small object for which she and Zoie hadbeen eagerly waiting. 

"Thank Heaven!" sighed Zoie, as she saw Aggie bearing the latestacquisition to Alfred's rapidly increasing family safely toward thecrib. 

Suddenly remembering something in his right hand coat pocket, Jimmycalled to Aggie, who turned to him and waited expectantly. Aftercharacteristic fumbling, he produced a well filled nursing bottle. 

"What's that?" asked Zoie. 

"For HER, " grunted Jimmy, and he nodded toward the bundle in Aggie'sarms. 

"HER!" cried Zoie and Aggie in chorus. Zoie shut her lips hard and gazedat him with contempt. 

"I might have known you'd get the wrong kind, " she said. 

What Jimmy thought about the ingratitude of woman was not to beexpressed in language. He controlled himself as well as he could andmerely LOOKED the things that he would like to have said. 

"Well, it can't be helped now, " decided the philosophic Aggie; "here, Jimmy, " she said, "you hold 'HER' a minute and I'll get you the otherone. "

Placing the small creature in Jimmy's protesting arms, Aggie turnedtoward the cradle to make the proposed exchange when she was startled bythe unexpected return of Alfred. 

Thanks to the ample folds of Jimmy's ulster, he was able to effectuallyconceal his charge and he started quickly toward the hall, but in makingthe necessary detour around the couch he failed to reach the door beforeAlfred, who had chosen a more direct way. 

"Hold on, Jimmy, " exclaimed Alfred good-naturedly, and he laid adetaining hand on his friend's shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be back, " stammered Jimmy weakly, edging his way toward the door, and contriving to keep his back toward Alfred. 

"Wait a minute, " said Alfred jovially, as he let his hand slip ontoJimmy's arm, "you haven't told me the news yet. "

"I'll tell you later, " mumbled Jimmy, still trying to escape. ButAlfred's eye had fallen upon a bit of white flannel dangling belowthe bottom of Jimmy's ulster, it travelled upward to Jimmy's unusuallyrotund figure. 

"What have you got there?" he demanded to know, as he pointed toward thecentre button of Jimmy's overcoat. 

"Here?" echoed Jimmy vapidly, glancing at the button in question, "why, that's just a little----" There was a faint wail from the depths ofthe ulster. Jimmy began to caper about with elephantine tread. "Oochie, coochie, oochie, " he called excitedly. 

"What's the matter with you?" asked Alfred. The wail became a shriek. "Good Heavens!" cried the anxious father, "it's my boy. " And with thathe pounced upon Jimmy, threw wide his ulster and snatched from his armsJimmy's latest contribution to Zoie's scheme of things. 

As Aggie had previously remarked, all young babies look very much alike, and to the inexperienced eye of this new and overwrought father, therewas no difference between the infant that he now pressed to his breast, and the one that, unsuspected by him, lay peacefully dozing in the crib, not ten feet from him. He gazed at the face of the newcomer with thesame ecstasy that he had felt in the possession of her predecessor. ButZoie and Aggie were looking at each other with something quite differentfrom ecstasy. 

"My boy, " exclaimed Alfred, with deep emotion, as he clasped the tinycreature to his breast. Then he turned to Jimmy. "What were you doingwith my baby?" he demanded hotly. 

"I--I was just taking him out for a little walk!" stammered Jimmy. 

"You just try, " threatened Alfred, and he towered over the intimidatedJimmy. "Are you crazy?"

Jimmy was of the opinion that he must be crazy or he would never havefound himself in such a predicament as this, but the anxious faces ofZoie and Aggie, denied him the luxury of declaring himself so. He sankmutely on the end of the couch and proceeded to sulk in silence. 

As for Aggie and Zoie, they continued to gaze open-mouthed at Alfred, who was waltzing about the room transported into a new heaven of delightat having snatched his heir from the danger of another night ramble withJimmy. 

"Did a horrid old Jimmy spoil his 'itty nap'?" he gurgled to Baby. Thenwith a sudden exclamation of alarm, he turned toward the anxious women. "Aggie!" he cried, as he stared intently into Baby's face. "Look--hisrash! It's turned IN!"

Aggie pretended to glance over Alfred's shoulder. 

"Why so it has, " she agreed nervously. 

"What shall we do?" cried the distraught Alfred. 

"It's all right now, " counselled Aggie, "so long as it didn't turn intoo suddenly. "

"We'd better keep him warm, hadn't we?" suggested Alfred, rememberingAggie's previous instructions on a similar occasion. "I'll put him inhis crib, " he decided, and thereupon he made a quick move toward thebassinette. 

Staggering back from the cradle with the unsteadiness of a drunken manAlfred called upon the Diety. "What is THAT?" he demanded as he pointedtoward the unexpected object before him. 

Neither Zoie, Aggie, nor Jimmy could command words to assist Alfred'srapidly waning powers of comprehension, and it was not until he hadswept each face for the third time with a look of inquiry that Zoiefound breath to stammer nervously, "Why--why--why, that's the OTHERone. "

"The other one?" echoed Alfred in a dazed manner; then he turned toAggie for further explanation. 

"Yes, " affirmed Aggie, with an emphatic nod, "the other one. "

An undescribable joy was dawning on Alfred's face. 

"You don't mean----" He stared from the infant in his arms to the one inthe cradle, then back again at Aggie and Zoie. The women solemnly noddedtheir heads. Even Jimmy unblushingly acquiesced. Alfred turned towardZoie for the final confirmation of his hopes. 

"Yes, dear, " assented Zoie sweetly, "that's Alfred. "

What Jimmy and the women saw next appeared to be the dance of a whirlingdervish; as a matter of fact, it was merely a man, mad with delight, clasping two infants in long clothes and circling the room with them. 

When Alfred could again enunciate distinctly, he rushed to Zoie's sidewith the babes in his arms. 

"My darling, " he exclaimed, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I was ashamed, " whispered Zoie, hiding her head to shut out the sightof the red faces pressed close to hers. 

"My angel!" cried Alfred, struggling to control his complicatedemotions; then gazing at the precious pair in his arms, he cast his eyesdevoutly toward heaven, "Was ever a man so blessed?"

Zoie peeped from the covers with affected shyness. 

"You love me just as much?" she queried. 

"I love you TWICE as much, " declared Alfred, and with that he sankexhausted on the foot of the bed, vainly trying to teeter one son oneach knee. 

CHAPTER XXII

When Jimmy gained courage to turn his eyes in the direction of thefamily group he had helped to assemble, he was not reassured by thereproachful glances that he met from Aggie and Zoie. It was apparentthat in their minds, he was again to blame for something. Realising thatthey dared not openly reproach him before Alfred, he decided to make hisescape while his friend was still in the room. He reached for his hatand tiptoed gingerly toward the door, but just as he was congratulatinghimself upon his decision, Alfred called to him with a mysterious air. 

"Jimmy, " he said, "just a minute, " and he nodded for Jimmy to approach. 

It must have been Jimmy's guilty conscience that made him powerlessto disobey Alfred's every command. Anyway, he slunk back to the fondparent's side, where he ultimately allowed himself to be inveigled intoswinging his new watch before the unattentive eyes of the red-facedbabes on Alfred's knees. 

"Lower, Jimmy, lower, " called Alfred as Jimmy absent-mindedly allowedthe watch to swing out of the prescribed orbit. "Look at the darlings, Jimmy, look at them, " he exclaimed as he gazed at the small creaturesadmiringly. 

"Yes, look at them, Jimmy, " repeated Zoie, and she glared at Jimmybehind Alfred's back. 

"Don't you wish you had one of them, Jimmy?'" asked Alfred. 

"Well, _I_ wish he had, " commented Zoie, and she wondered how she wasever again to detach either of them from Alfred's breast. 

Before she could form any plan, the telephone rang loud andpersistently. Jimmy glanced anxiously toward the women for instructions. 

"I'll answer it, " said Aggie with suspicious alacrity, and she crossedquickly toward the 'phone. The scattered bits of conversation that Zoiewas able to gather from Aggie's end of the wire did not tend to sootheher over-excited nerves. As for Alfred, he was fortunately so engrossedwith the babies that he took little notice of what Aggie was saying. 

"What woman?" asked Aggie into the 'phone. "Where's she from?" Theanswer was evidently not reassuring. "Certainly not, " exclaimed Aggie, "don't let her come up; send her away. Mrs. Hardy can't see anyone atall. " Then followed a bit of pantomime between Zoie and Aggie, fromwhich it appeared that their troubles were multiplying, then Aggie againgave her attention to the 'phone. "I don't know anything about her, " shefibbed, "that woman must have the wrong address. " And with that she hungup the receiver and came towards Alfred, anxious to get possession ofhis two small charges and to get them from the room, lest the mother whowas apparently downstairs should thrust herself into their midst. 

"What's the trouble, Aggie?" asked Alfred, and he nodded toward thetelephone. 

"Oh, just some woman with the wrong address, " answered Aggie withaffected carelessness. "You'd better let me take the babies now, Alfred. "

"Take them where?" asked Alfred with surprise. 

"To bed, " answered Aggie sweetly, "they are going to sleep in the nextroom with Jimmy and me. " She laid a detaining hand on Jimmy's arm. 

"What's the hurry?" asked Alfred a bit disgruntled. 

"It's very late, " argued Aggie. 

"Of course it is, " insisted Zoie. "Please, Alfred, " she pleaded, "do letAggie take them. "

Alfred rose reluctantly. "Mother knows best, " he sighed, but ignoringAggie's outstretched arms, he refused to relinquish the joy of himselfcarrying the small mites to their room, and he disappeared with the twoof them, singing his now favourite lullaby. 

When Alfred had left the room, Jimmy, who was now seated comfortably inthe rocker, was rudely startled by a sharp voice at either side of him. 

"Well!" shrieked Zoie, with all the disapproval that could be got intothe one small word. 

"You're very clever, aren't you?" sneered Aggie at Jimmy's other elbow. 

Jimmy stared from one to the other. 

"A nice fix you've got me into NOW, " reproved Zoie. 

"Why didn't you get out when you had the chance?" demanded Aggie. 

"You would take your own sweet time, wouldn't you, " said Zoie. 

"What did I tell you?" asked Aggie. 

"What does he care?" exclaimed Zoie, and she walked up and down the roomexcitedly, oblivious of the disarrangement of her flying negligee. "He'sperfectly comfortable. "

"Oh yes, " assented Jimmy, as he sank back into the rocker andbegan propelling himself to and fro. "I never felt better, " but adisinterested observer would have seen in him the picture of discomfort. 

"You're going to feel a great deal WORSE, " he was warned by Aggie. "Doyou know who that was on the telephone?" she asked. 

Jimmy looked at her mutely. 

"The mother!" said Aggie emphatically

"What!" exclaimed Jimmy. 

"She's down stairs, " explained Aggie. 

Jimmy had stopped rocking--his face now wore an uneasy expression. 

"It's time you showed a little human intelligence, " taunted Zoie, thenshe turned her back upon him and continued to Aggie, "what did she say?"

"She says, " answered Aggie, with a threatening glance toward Jimmy, "that she won't leave this place until Jimmy gives her baby back. "

"Let her have her old baby, " said Jimmy. "I don't want it. "

"You don't want it?" snapped Zoie indignantly, "what have YOU got to dowith it?"

"Oh nothing, nothing, " acquiesced Jimmy meekly, "I'm a mere detail. "

"A lot you care what becomes of me, " exclaimed Zoie reproachfully; thenshe turned to Aggie with a decided nod. "Well, I want it, " she asserted. 

"But Zoie, " protested Aggie in astonishment, "you can't mean to keepBOTH of them?"

"I certainly DO, " said Zoie. 

"What?" cried Aggie and Jimmy in concert. 

"Jimmy has presented Alfred with twins, " continued Zoie testily, "andnow, he has to HAVE twins. "

Jimmy's eyes were growing rounder and rounder. 

"Do you know, " continued Zoie, with a growing sense of indignation, "what would happen to me if I told Alfred NOW that he WASN'T the fatherof twins? He'd fly straight out of that door and I'd never see himagain. "

Aggie admitted that Zoie was no doubt speaking the truth. 

"Jimmy has awakened Alfred's paternal instinct for twins, " declaredZoie, with another emphatic nod of her head, "and now Jimmy must takethe consequences. "

Jimmy tried to frame a few faint objections, but Zoie waved him aside, with a positive air. "It's no use arguing. If it were only ONE, itwouldn't be so bad, but to tell Alfred that he's lost twins, he couldn'tlive through it. "

"But Zoie, " argued Aggie, "we can't have that mother hanging around downstairs until that baby is an old man. She'll have us arrested, the nextthing. "

"Why arrest US?" asked Zoie, with wide baby eyes. "WE didn't take it. Old slow-poke took it. " And she nodded toward the now utterly vanquishedJimmy. 

"That's right, " murmured Jimmy, with a weak attempt at sarcasm, "don'tleave me out of anything good. "

"It doesn't matter WHICH one she arrests, " decided the practical Aggie. 

"Well, it matters to me, " objected Zoie. 

"And to me too, if it's all the same to you, " protested Jimmy. 

"Whoever it is, " continued Aggie, "the truth is bound to come out. Alfred will have to know sooner or later, so we might as well make aclean breast of it, first as last. "

"That's the first sensible thing you've said in three months, " declaredJimmy with reviving hope. 

"Oh, is that so?" sneered Zoie, and she levelled her most malicious lookat Jimmy. "What do you think Alfred would do to YOU, Mr. Jimmy, if heknew the truth? YOU'RE the one who sent him the telegram; you are theone who told him that he was a FATHER. "

"That's true, " admitted Aggie, with a wrinkled forehead. 

Zoie was quick to see her advantage. She followed it up. "And Alfredhasn't any sense of humour, you know. "

"How could he have?" groaned Jimmy; "he's married. " And with that hesank into his habitual state of dumps. 

"Your sarcasm will do a great deal of good, " flashed Zoie. Then shedismissed him with a nod, and crossed to her dressing table. 

"But Zoie, " persisted Aggie, as she followed her young friend intrepidation, "don't you realise that if you persist in keeping thisbaby, that mother will dog Jimmy's footsteps for the rest of his life?"

"That will be nice, " murmured Jimmy. 

Zoie busied herself with her toilet, and turned a deaf ear to Aggie. There was a touch of genuine emotion in Aggie's voice when shecontinued. 

"Just think of it, Zoie, Jimmy will never be able to come and go like afree man again. "

"What do I care how he comes and goes?" exclaimed Zoie impatiently. "IfJimmy had gone when we told him to go, that woman would have had her oldbaby by now; but he didn't, oh no! All he ever does is to sit around andtalk about his dinner. "

"Yes, " cried Jimmy hotly, "and that's about as far as I ever GET withit. "

"You'll never get anywhere with anything, " was Zoie's exasperatinganswer. "You're too slow. "

"Well, there's nothing slow about you, " retorted Jimmy, stung to afrenzy by her insolence. 

"Oh please, please, " interposed Aggie, desperately determined to keepthese two irascible persons to the main issue. "What are we going totell that mother?"

"You can tell her whatever you like, " answered Zoie, with an impudenttoss of her head, "but I'll NOT give up that baby until I get ANOTHERone. '

"Another?" almost shrieked Jimmy. It was apparent that he must needsincrease the number of his brain cells if he were to follow thisextraordinary young woman's line of thought much further. "You don'texpect to go on multiplying them forever, do you?" he asked. 

"YOU are the one who has been multiplying them, " was Zoie'sdisconcerting reply. 

It was evident to Jimmy that he could not think fast enough nor clearlyenough to save himself from a mental disaster if he continued to arguewith the shameless young woman, so he contented himself by rocking toand fro and murmuring dismally that he had "known from the first that itwas to be an endless chain. "

While Zoie and Jimmy had been wrangling, Aggie had been weighing thepros and cons of the case. She now turned to Jimmy with a tone of firmbut motherly decision. "Zoie is quite right, " she said. 

Jimmy rolled his large eyes up at his spouse with a "you too, Brutus, "expression. 

Aggie continued mercilessly, "It's the only way, Jimmy. "

No sooner had Aggie arrived at her decision than Zoie upset hertranquillity by a triumphant expression of "I have it. "

Jimmy and Aggie gazed at Zoie's radiant face in consternation. They wereaccustomed to see only reproach there. Her sudden enthusiasm increasedJimmy's uneasiness. 

"YOU have it, " he grunted without attempting to conceal his disgust. "SHE'S the one who generally has it. " And he nodded toward Aggie. 

Inflamed by her young friend's enthusiasm, Aggie rushed to her eagerly. 

"What is it, Zoie?" she asked. 

"The washerwoman!" exclaimed Zoie, as though the revelation had comestraight from heaven. "SHE HAD TWINS, " and with that, two pairs of eyesturned expectantly toward the only man in the room. 

Tracing the pattern of the rug with his toe, Jimmy remained stubbornlyoblivious of their attentions. He rearranged the pillows on the couch, and finally, for want of a better occupation, he wound his watch. All tono avail. He could feel Zoie's cat-like gaze upon him. 

"Jimmy can get the other one, " she said. 

"The hell I can, " exclaimed Jimmy, starting to his feet and no longerconsidering time or place. 

The two women gazed at him reproachfully. 

"Jimmy!" cried Aggie, in a shocked, hurt voice. "That's the first timeI've ever heard you swear. "

"Well, it won't be the LAST time, " declared Jimmy hotly, "if THIS keepsup. " His eyes were blazing. He paced to and fro like an infuriated lion. 

"Dearest, " said Aggie, "you look almost imposing. "

"Nonsense, " interrupted Zoie, who found Jimmy unusually ridiculous. "IfI'd known that Jimmy was going to put such an idea into Alfred's head, I'd have got the two in the first place. "

"Will she let us HAVE the other?" asked Aggie with some misgiving. 

"Of course she will, " answered Zoie, leaving Jimmy entirely out ofthe conversation. "She's as poor as a church mouse. I'll pay her well. She'll never miss it. What could she do with one twin, anyway?"

A snort of rage from Jimmy did not disturb Zoie's enthusiasm. Sheproceeded to elaborate her plan. 

"I'll adopt them, " she declared, "I'll leave them all Alfred's money. Think of Alfred having real live twins for keeps. "

"It would be nice, wouldn't it?" commented Jimmy sarcastically. 

Zoie turned to Jimmy, as though they were on the best of terms. 

"How much money have you?" she asked. 

Before Jimmy could declare himself penniless, Aggie answered for himwith the greatest enthusiasm, "He has a whole lot; he drew some today. "

"Good!" exclaimed Zoie to the abashed Jimmy, and then she continued in amatter-of-fact tone, "Now, Jimmy, " she said, "you go give the washwomanwhat money you have on account, then tell her to come around here in themorning when Alfred has gone out and I'll settle all the details withher. Go on now, Jimmy, " she continued, "you don't need another letter. "

"No, " chimed in Aggie sweetly; "you know her now, dear. "

"Oh, yes, " corroborated Jimmy, with a sarcastic smile and withoutbudging from the spot on which he stood, "we are great pals now. "

"What's the matter?" asked Zoie, astonished that Jimmy was not startingon his mission with alacrity. "What are you waiting for?"

Jimmy merely continued to smile enigmatically. 

"You know what happened the last time you hesitated, " warned Aggie. 

"I know what happened when I DIDN'T hesitate, " ruminated Jimmy, stillholding his ground. 

Zoie's eyes were wide with surprise. "You don't mean to say, " sheexclaimed incredulously, "that you aren't GOING--after we have thoughtall this out just to SAVE you?"

"Say, " answered Jimmy, with a confidential air, "do me a favour, willyou? Stop thinking out things to 'save me. '"

"But, Jimmy----" protested both women simultaneously; but before theycould get further Alfred's distressed voice reached them from the nextroom. 

"Aggie!" he called frantically. 

CHAPTER XVIII

What seemed to be a streak of pink through the room was in reality Zoiebolting for the bed. 

While Zoie hastened to snuggle comfortably under the covers, Aggie triedwithout avail to get Jimmy started on his errand. 

Getting no response from Aggie, Alfred, bearing one infant in his arms, came in search of her. Apparently he was having difficulty with theunfastening of baby's collar. 

"Aggie, " he called sharply, "how on earth do you get this fool pin out?"

"Take him back, Alfred, " answered Aggie impatiently; "I'll be there in aminute. "

But Alfred had apparently made up his mind that he was not a success asa nurse. 

"You'd better take him now, Aggie, " he decided, as he offered the smallperson to the reluctant Aggie. "I'll stay here and talk to Jimmy. "

"Oh, but Jimmy was just going out, " answered Aggie; then she turned toher obdurate spouse with mock sweetness, "Weren't you, dear?" she asked. 

"Yes, " affirmed Zoie, with a threatening glance toward Jimmy. "He wasgoing, just now. "

Still Jimmy remained rooted to the spot. 

"Out?" questioned Alfred. "What for?"

"Just for a little air, " explained Aggie blandly. 

"Yes, " growled Jimmy, "another little heir. "

"Air?" repeated Alfred in surprise. "He had air a while ago with myson. He is going to stay here and tell me the news. Sit down, Jimmy, "he commanded, and to the intense annoyance of Aggie and Zoie, Jimmy sankresignedly on the couch. 

Alfred was about to seat himself beside his friend, when the 'phone rangviolently. Being nearest to the instrument, Alfred reached it first andZoie and Aggie awaited the consequences in dread. What they heard didnot reassure them nor Jimmy. 

"Still down there?" exclaimed Alfred into the 'phone. 

Jimmy began to wriggle with a vague uneasiness. 

"Well, " continued Alfred at the 'phone, "that woman has the wrongnumber. " Then with a peremptory "Wait a minute, " he turned to Zoie, "Thehall boy says that woman who called a while ago is still down stairs andshe won't go away until she has seen you, Zoie. She has some kind of anidiotic idea that you know where her baby is. "

"How absurd, " sneered Zoie. 

"How silly, " added Aggie. 

"How foolish, " grunted Jimmy. 

"Well, " decided Alfred, "I'd better go down stairs and see what'sthe matter with her, " and he turned toward the door to carry out hisintention. 

"Alfred!" called Zoie sharply. She was half out of bed in her anxiety. "You'll do no such thing. 'Phone down to the boy to send her away. She'scrazy. "

"Oh, " said Alfred, "then she's been here before? Who is she?"

"Who is she?" answered Zoie, trying to gain time for a new inspiration. "Why, she's--she's----" her face lit up with satisfaction--the idea hadarrived. "She's the nurse, " she concluded emphatically. 

"The nurse?" repeated Alfred, a bit confused. 

"Yes, " answered Zoie, pretending to be annoyed with his dull memory. "She's the one I told you about, the one I had to discharge. "

"Oh, " said Alfred, with the relief of sudden comprehension; "the crazyone?"

Aggie and Zoie nodded their heads and smiled at him tolerantly, thenZoie continued to elaborate. "You see, " she said, "the poor creature wasso insane about little Jimmy that I couldn't go near the child. "

"What!" exclaimed Alfred in a mighty rage. "I'll soon tell the boy whatto do with her, " he declared, and he rushed to the 'phone. Barely hadAlfred taken the receiver from the hook when the outer door was heardto bang. Before he could speak a distracted young woman, whose excitablemanner bespoke her foreign origin, swept through the door without seeinghim and hurled herself at the unsuspecting Zoie. The woman's black hairwas dishevelled, and her large shawl had fallen from her shoulders. ToJimmy, who was crouching behind an armchair, she seemed a giantess. 

"My baby!" cried the frenzied mother, with what was unmistakably anItalian accent. "Where is he?" There was no answer; her eyes soughtthe cradle. "Ah!" she shrieked, then upon finding the cradle empty, sheredoubled her lamentations and again she bore down upon the terrifiedZoie. 

"You, " she cried, "you know where my baby is!"

For answer, Zoie sank back amongst her pillows and drew the bed coverscompletely over her head. Alfred approached the bed to protect his youngwife; the Italian woman wheeled about and perceived a small child in hisarms. She threw herself upon him. 

"I knew it, " she cried; "I knew it!"

Managing to disengage himself from what he considered a mad woman, andelevating one elbow between her and the child, Alfred prevented themother from snatching the small creature from his arms. 

"Calm yourself, madam, " he commanded with a superior air. "We are verysorry for you, of course, but we can't have you coming here and going onlike this. He's OUR baby and----"

"He's NOT your baby!" cried the infuriated mother; "he's MY baby. Give him to me. Give him to me, " and with that she sprang upon theuncomfortable Alfred like a tigress. Throwing her whole weight on hisuplifted elbow, she managed to pull down his arm until she could lookinto the face of the washerwoman's promising young offspring. The airwas rent by a scream that made each individual hair of Jimmy's headstand up in its own defence. He could feel a sickly sensation at the topof his short thick neck. 

"He's NOT my baby, " wailed the now demented mother, little dreaming thatthe infant for which she was searching was now reposing comfortably on asoft pillow in the adjoining room. 

As for Alfred, all of this was merely confirmation of Zoie's statementthat this poor soul was crazy, and he was tempted to dismiss her withworthy forbearance. 

"I am glad, madam, " he said, "that you are coming to your senses. "

Now, all would have gone well and the bewildered mother would no doubthave left the room convinced of her mistake, had not Jimmy's nerves gotthe better of his judgment. Having slipped cautiously from his positionbehind the armchair he was tiptoeing toward the door, and was flatteringhimself on his escape, when suddenly, as his forward foot cautiouslytouched the threshold, he heard the cry of the captor in his wake, andbefore he could possibly command the action of his other foot, he felthimself being forcibly drawn backward by what appeared to be his tootenacious coat-tails. 

"If only they would tear, " thought Jimmy, but thanks to the excellenceof the tailor that Aggie had selected for him, they did NOT "tear. "

Not until she had anchored Jimmy safely to the centre of the rug did theirate mother pour out the full venom of her resentment toward him. Fromthe mixture of English and Italian that followed, it was apparent thatshe was accusing Jimmy of having stolen her baby. 

"Take me to him, " she demanded tragically; "my baby--take me to him!"

Jimmy appealed to Aggie and Zoie. Their faces were as blank as his own. He glanced at Alfred. 

"Humour her, " whispered Alfred, much elated by the evidence of hisown self-control as compared to Jimmy's utter demoralisation under theapparently same circumstances. 

Still Jimmy did not budge. 

Alfred was becoming vexed; he pointed first to his own forehead, thento that of Jimmy's hysterical captor. He even illustrated his meaningby making a rotary motion with his forefinger, intended to remind Jimmythat the woman was a lunatic. 

Still Jimmy only stared at him and all the while the woman was becomingmore and more emphatic in her declaration that Jimmy knew where her babywas. 

"Sure, Jimmy, " said Alfred, out of all patience with Jimmy's stupidityand tiring of the strain of the woman's presence. "You know where herbaby is. "

"Ah!" cried the mother, and she towered over Jimmy with a wild light inher eyes. "Take me to him, " she demanded; "take me to him. "

Jimmy rolled his large eyes first toward Aggie, then toward Zoie and atlast toward Alfred. There was no mercy to be found anywhere. 

"Take her to him, Jimmy, " commanded a concert of voices; and pursued bya bundle of waving colours and a medley of discordant sounds, Jimmy shotfrom the room. 

CHAPTER XXIV

The departure of Jimmy and the crazed mother was the occasion for ageneral relaxing among the remaining occupants of the room. Exhaustedby what had passed Zoie had ceased to interest herself in the future. Itwas enough for the present that she could sink back upon her pillows anddraw a long breath without an evil face bending over her, and withoutthe air being rent by screams. 

As for Aggie, she fell back upon the window seat and closed her eyes. The horrors into which Jimmy might be rushing had not yet presentedthemselves to her imagination. 

Of the three, Alfred was the only one who had apparently receivedexhilaration from the encounter. He was strutting about the room withthe babe in his arms, undoubtedly enjoying the sensations of a hero. When he could sufficiently control his feeling of elation, he lookeddown at the small person with an air of condescension and again lenthimself to the garbled sort of language with which defenceless infantsare inevitably persecuted. 

"Tink of dat horrid old woman wanting to steal our own little oppsie, woppsie, toppsie babykins, " he said. Then he turned to Zoie with anair of great decision. "That woman ought to be locked up, " he declared, "she's dangerous, " and with that he crossed to Aggie and hurriedlyplaced the infant in her unsuspecting arms. "Here, Aggie, " he said, "youtake Alfred and get him into bed. "

Glad of an excuse to escape to the next room and recover her selfcontrol, Aggie quickly disappeared with the child. 

For some moments Alfred continued to pace up and down the room; then hecame to a full stop before Zoie. 

"I'll have to have something done to that woman, " he declaredemphatically. 

"Jimmy will do enough to her, " sighed Zoie, weakly. 

"She's no business to be at large, " continued Alfred; then, with abusiness-like air, he started toward the telephone. 

"Where are you going?" asked Zoie. 

Alfred did not answer. He was now calling into the 'phone, "Give meinformation. "

"What on earth are you doing?" demanded Zoie, more and more disturbed byhis mysterious manner. 

"One can't be too careful, " retorted Alfred in his most paternalfashion; "there's an awful lot of kidnapping going on these days. "

"Well, you don't suspect information, do you?" asked Zoie. 

Again Alfred ignored her; he was intent upon things of more importance. 

"Hello, " he called into the 'phone, "is this information?" Apparently itwas for he continued, with a satisfied air, "Well, give me the FullertonStreet Police Station. "

"The Police?" cried Zoie, sitting up in bed and looking about the roomwith a new sense of alarm. 

Alfred did not answer. 

"Aggie!" shrieked the over-wrought young wife. 

Alfred attempted to reassure her. "Now, now, dear, don't get nervous, "he said, "I am only taking the necessary precautions. " And again heturned to the 'phone. 

Alarmed by Zoie's summons, Aggie entered the room hastily. She was notreassured upon hearing Alfred's further conversation at the 'phone. 

"Is this the Fullerton Street Police Station?" asked Alfred. 

"The Police!" echoed Aggie, and her eyes sought Zoie's inquiringly. 

"Sh! Sh!" called Alfred over his shoulder to the excited Aggie, thenhe continued into the 'phone. "Is Donneghey there?" There was a pause. Alfred laughed jovially. "It is? Well, hello, Donneghey, this is yourold friend Hardy, Alfred Hardy at the Sherwood. I've just got back, "then he broke the happy news to the no doubt appreciative Donneghey. "What do you think?" he said, "I'm a happy father. "

Zoie puckered her small face in disgust. 

Alfred continued to elucidate joyfully at the 'phone. 

"Doubles, " he said, "yes--sure--on the level. "

"I don't know why you have to tell the whole neighbourhood, " snappedZoie. Her colour was visibly rising. 

But Alfred was now in the full glow of his genial account to his friend. "Set 'em up?" he repeated in answer to an evident suggestion from theother end of the line, "I should say I would. The drinks are on me. Tellthe boys I'll be right over. And say, Donneghey, " he added, in a moreconfidential tone, "I want to bring one of the men home with me. Iwant him to keep an eye on the house to-night"; then after a pause, heconcluded confidentially, "I'll tell you all about it when I get there. It looks like a kidnapping scheme to me, " and with that he hung up thereceiver, unmistakably pleased with himself, and turned his beaming facetoward Zoie. 

"It's all right, dear, " he said, rubbing his hands together with evidentsatisfaction, "Donneghey is going to let us have a Special Officer towatch the house to-night. "

"I won't HAVE a special officer, " declared Zoie vehemently; thenbecoming aware of Alfred's great surprise, she explained half-tearfully, "I'm not going to have the police hanging around our very door. I wouldfeel as though I were in prison. "

"You ARE in prison, my dear, " returned the now irrepressible Alfred. "Aprison of love--you and our precious boys. " He stooped and implanted agracious kiss on her forehead, then turned toward the table for his hat. "Now, " he said, "I'll just run around the corner, set up the drinks forthe boys, and bring the officer home with me, " and drawing himself upproudly, he cried gaily in parting, "I'll bet there's not another man inChicago who has what I have to-night. "

"I hope not, " groaned Zoie. As the door closed behind him. Then, thrusting her two small feet from beneath the coverlet and perching onthe side of the bed, she declared to Aggie that "Alfred was getting moreidiotic every minute. "

"He's worse than idiotic, " corrected Aggie. "He's getting dangerous. Ifhe gets the police around here before we give that baby back, they'llget the mother. She'll tell all she knows and that will be the end ofJimmy!"

"End of Jimmy?" exclaimed Zoie, "it'll be the end of ALL of us. "

"I can see our pictures in the papers, right now, " groaned Aggie. "Jimmywill be the villain. "

"Jimmy IS a villain, " declared Zoie. "Where is he? Why doesn't he comeback? How am I ever going to get that other twin?"

"There is only one thing to do, " decided Aggie, "I must go for itmyself. " And she snatched up her cape from the couch and started towardthe door. 

"You?" cried Zoie, in alarm, "and leave me alone?"

"It's our only chance, " argued Aggie. "I'll have to do it now, beforeAlfred gets back. "

"But Aggie, " protested Zoie, clinging to her departing friend, "supposethat crazy mother should come back?"

"Nonsense, " replied Aggie, and before Zoie could actually realise whatwas happening the bang of the outside door told her that she was alone. 

CHAPTER XXV

Wondering what new terrors awaited her, Zoie glanced uncertainly fromdoor to door. So strong had become her habit of taking refuge in thebed, that unconsciously she backed toward it now. Barely had she reachedthe centre of the room when a terrific crash of breaking glass from theadjoining room sent her shrieking in terror over the footboard, and headfirst under the covers. Here she would doubtless have remained untilsuffocated, had not Jimmy in his backward flight from one of theinner rooms overturned a large rocker. This additional shock to Zoie'soverstrung nerves forced a wild scream from her lips, and an answeringexclamation from the nerve-racked Jimmy made her sit bolt upright. Shegazed at him in astonishment. His tie was awry, one end of his collarhad taken leave of its anchorage beneath his stout chin, and was nowjust tickling the edge of his red, perspiring brow. His hair was on endand his feelings were undeniably ruffled. As usual Zoie's greeting didnot tend to conciliate him. 

"How did YOU get here?" she asked with an air of reproach. 

"The fire-escape, " panted Jimmy and he nodded mysteriously toward theinner rooms of the apartment. 

"Fire-escape?" echoed Zoie. There was only one and that led through thebathroom window. 

Jimmy explained no further. He was now peeping cautiously out of thewindow toward the pavement below. 

"Where's the mother?" demanded Zoie. 

Jimmy jerked his thumb in the direction of the street. Zoie gazed at himwith grave apprehension. 

"Jimmy!" she exclaimed. "You haven't killed her?"

Jimmy shook his head and continued to peer cautiously out of the window. 

"What did you do with her?" called the now exasperated Zoie. 

"What did _I_ do with her?" repeated Jimmy, a flash of his oldresentment returning. "What did SHE do with ME?"

For the first time, Zoie became fully conscious of Jimmy's ludicrousappearance. Her overstrained nerves gave way and she began to laughhysterically. 

"Say, " shouted Jimmy, towering over the bed and devoutly wishing thatshe were his wife so that he might strike her with impunity. "Don't yousic any more lunatics onto me. "

It is doubtful whether Zoie's continued laughter might not have provokedJimmy to desperate measures, had not the 'phone at that moment directedtheir thoughts toward worse possibilities. After the instrument hadcontinued to ring persistently for what seemed to Zoie an age, shemotioned to Jimmy to answer it. He responded by retreating to the otherside of the room. 

"It may be Aggie, " suggested Zoie. 

For the first time, Jimmy became aware that Aggie was nowhere in theapartment. 

"Good Lord!" he exclaimed, as he realised that he was again tete-a-tetewith the terror of his dreams. "Where IS Aggie?"

"Gone to do what YOU should have done, " was Zoie's characteristicanswer. 

"Well, " answered Jimmy hotly, "it's about time that somebody besides medid something around this place. "

"YOU, " mocked Zoie, "all YOU'VE ever done was to hoodoo me from the verybeginning. "

"If you'd taken my advice, " answered Jimmy, "and told your husband thetruth about the luncheon, there'd never have been any 'beginning. '"

"If, if, if, " cried Zoie, in an agony of impatience, "if you'd tippedthat horrid old waiter enough, he'd never have told anyway. "

"I'm not buying waiters to cover up your crimes, " announced Jimmy withhis most self-righteous air. 

"You'll be buying more than that to cover up your OWN crimes beforeyou've finished, " retorted Zoie. 

"Before I've finished with YOU, yes, " agreed Jimmy. He wheeled upon herwith increasing resentment. "Do you know where I expect to end up?" heasked. 

"I know where you OUGHT to end up, " snapped Zoie. 

"I'll finish in the electric chair, " said Jimmy. "I can feel bluelightning chasing up and down my spine right now. "

"Well, I wish you HAD finished in the electric chair, " declared Zoie, "before you ever dragged me into that awful old restaurant. "

"Oh, you do, do you?" answered Jimmy shaking his fist at her across thefoot of the bed. For the want of adequate words to express his furtherfeelings, Jimmy was beginning to jibber, when the outer door washeard to close, and he turned to behold Aggie entering hurriedly withsomething partly concealed by her long cape. 

"It's all right, " explained Aggie triumphantly to Zoie. "I've got it. "She threw her cape aside and disclosed the fruits of her conquest. 

"So, " snorted Jimmy in disgust, slightly miffed by the apparent easewith which Aggie had accomplished a task about which he had made so muchado, "you've gone into the business too, have you?"

Aggie deigned no reply to him. She continued in a businesslike tone toZoie. 

"Where's Alfred?" she asked. 

"Still out, " answered Zoie. 

"Thank Heaven, " sighed Aggie, then she turned to Jimmy and addressed himin rapid, decided tones. "Now, dear, " she said, "I'll just put the newbaby to bed, then I'll give you the other one and you can take it rightdown to the mother. "

Jimmy made a vain start in the direction of the fire-escape. Fourdetaining hands were laid upon him. 

"Don't try anything like that, " warned Aggie; "you can't get out of thishouse without that baby. The mother is down stairs now. She's guardingthe door. I saw her. " And Aggie sailed triumphantly out of the room tomake the proposed exchange of babies. 

Before Jimmy was able to suggest to himself an escape from Aggie's lastplan of action, the telephone again began to cry for attention. 

Neither Jimmy nor Zoie could summon courage to approach the impatientinstrument, and as usual Zoie cried frantically for Aggie. 

Aggie was not long in returning to the room and this time she bore inher arms the infant so strenuously demanded by its mad mother. 

"Here you are, Jimmy, " she said; "here's the other one. Now take himdown stairs quickly before Alfred gets back. " She attempted to place theunresisting babe in Jimmy's chubby arms, but Jimmy's freedom was not tobe so easily disposed of. 

"What!" he exclaimed, backing away from the small creature in fear andabhorrence, "take that bundle of rags down to the hotel office and havethat woman hystericing all over me. No, thanks. "

"Oh well, " answered Aggie, distracted by the persistent ringing of the'phone, "then hold him a minute until I answer the 'phone. "

This at least was a compromise, and reluctantly Jimmy allowed the nowwailing infant to be placed in his arms. 

"Jig it, Jimmy, jig it, " cried Zoie. Jimmy looked down helplessly atthe baby's angry red face, but before he had made much headway with the"jigging, " Aggie returned to them, much excited by the message which shehad just received over the telephone. 

"That mother is making a scene down stairs in the office, " she said. 

"You hear, " chided Zoie, in a fury at Jimmy, "what did Aggie tell you?"

"If she wants this thing, " maintained Jimmy, looking down at the bundlein his arms, "she can come after it. "

"We can't have her up here, " objected Aggie. 

"Alfred may be back at any minute. He'd catch her. You know whathappened the last time we tried to change them. "

"You can send it down the chimney, for all I care, " concluded Jimmy. 

"I have it!" exclaimed Aggie, her face suddenly illumined. 

"Oh Lord, " groaned Jimmy, who had come to regard any elation on Zoie'sor Aggie's part as a sure forewarner of ultimate discomfort for him. 

Again Aggie had recourse to the 'phone. 

"Hello, " she called to the office boy, "tell that woman to go around tothe back door, and we'll send something down to her. " There was a slightpause, then Aggie added sweetly, "Yes, tell her to wait at the foot ofthe fire-escape. "

Zoie had already caught the drift of Aggie's intention and she now fixedher glittering eyes upon Jimmy, who was already shifting about uneasilyand glancing at Aggie, who approached him with a business-like air. 

"Now, dear, " said Aggie, "come with me. I'll hand Baby out through thebathroom window and you can run right down the fire-escape with him. "

"If I do run down the fire-escape, " exclaimed Jimmy, wagging his largehead from side to side, "I'll keep right on RUNNING. That's the lastyou'll ever see of me. "

"But, Jimmy, " protested Aggie, slightly hurt by his threat, "once thatwoman gets her baby you'll have no more trouble. "

"With you two still alive?" asked Jimmy, looking from one to the other. 

"She'll be up here if you don't hurry, " urged Aggie impatiently, andwith that she pulled Jimmy toward the bedroom door. 

"Let her come, " said Jimmy, planting his feet so as to resist Aggie'srepeated tugs, "I'm going to South America. "

"Why will you act like this, " cried Aggie, in utter desperation, "whenwe have so little time?"

"Say, " said Jimmy irrelevantly, "do you know that I haven't had any----"

"Yes, " interrupted Aggie and Zoie in chorus, "we know. "

"How long, " continued Zoie impatiently, "is it going to take you to slipdown that fire-escape?"

"That depends on how fast I 'slip, '" answered Jimmy doggedly. 

"You'll 'slip' all right, " sneered Zoie. 

Further exchange of pleasantries between these two antagonists was cutshort by the banging of the outside door. 

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Aggie, glancing nervously over her shoulder, "there's Alfred now. Hurry, Jimmy, hurry, " she cried, and with that shefairly forced Jimmy out through the bedroom door, and followed in hiswake to see him safely down the fire-escape. 

CHAPTER XXVI

Zoie had barely time to arrange herself after the manner of aninteresting invalid, when Alfred entered the room in the gayest ofspirits. 

"Hello, dearie, " he cried as he crossed quickly to her side. 

"Already?" asked Zoie faintly and she glanced uneasily toward the door, through which Jimmy and Aggie had just disappeared. 

"I told you I shouldn't be long, " said Alfred jovially, and he implanteda condescending kiss on her forehead. "How is the little mother, eh?" heasked, rubbing his hands together in satisfaction. 

"You're all cold, " pouted Zoie, edging away, "and you've been drinking. "

"I had to have one or two with the boys, " said Alfred, throwing out hischest and strutting about the room, "but never again. From now on I cutout all drinks and cigars. This is where I begin to live my life for oursons. "

"How about your life for me?" asked Zoie, as she began to see long yearsof boredom stretching before her. 

"You and our boys are one and the same, dear, " answered Alfred, comingback to her side. 

"You mean you couldn't go on loving ME if it weren't for the BOYS?"asked Zoie, with anxiety. She was beginning to realise how completelyher hold upon him depended upon her hideous deception. 

"Of course I could, Zoie, " answered Alfred, flattered by what heconsidered her desire for his complete devotion, "but----"

"But not so MUCH, " pouted Zoie. 

"Well, of course, dear, " admitted Alfred evasively, as he sank down uponthe edge of the bed by her side--

"You needn't say another word, " interrupted Zoie, and then with a shadeof genuine repentance, she declared shame-facedly that she hadn't been"much of a wife" to Alfred. 

"Nonsense!" contradicted the proud young father, "you've given me theONE thing that I wanted most in the world. "

"But you see, dear, " said Zoie, as she wound her little white arms abouthis neck, and looked up into his face adoringly, "YOU'VE been the 'ONE'thing that I wanted 'MOST' and I never realised until to-night how--howcrazy you are about things. "

"What things?" asked Alfred, a bit puzzled. 

"Well, " said Zoie, letting her eyes fall before his and picking at a bitof imaginary lint on the coverlet, "babies and things. "

"Oh, " said Alfred, and he was about to proceed when she againinterrupted him. 

"But now that I DO realise it, " continued Zoie, earnestly, her fingerson his lips, lest he again interrupt, "if you'll only have a littlepatience with me, I'll--I'll----" again her eyes fell bashfully to thecoverlet, as she considered the possibility of being ultimately obligedto replace the bogus twins with real ones. 

"All the patience in the world, " answered Alfred, little dreaming of theproblem that confronted the contrite Zoie. 

"That's all I ask, " declared Zoie, her assurance completely restored, "and in case anything SHOULD happen to THESE----" she glanced anxiouslytoward the door through which Aggie had borne the twins. 

"But nothing is going to happen to these, dear, " interrupted Alfred, rising and again assuming an air of fatherly protection. "I'll attendto that. There, there, " he added, patting her small shoulder and noddinghis head wisely. "That crazy woman has got on your nerves, but youneedn't worry, I've got everything fixed. Donneghey sent a specialofficer over with me. He's outside watching the house, now. "

"Now!" shrieked Zoie, fixing her eyes on the bedroom door, through whichJimmy had lately disappeared and wondering whether he had yet "slipped"down the fire-escape. 

"Yes, " continued Alfred, walking up and down the floor with a masterlystride. "If that woman is caught hanging around here again, she'll get alittle surprise. My boys are safe now, God bless them!" Then reminded ofthe fact that he had not seen them since his return, he started quicklytoward the bedroom door. "I'll just have a look at the little rascals, "he decided. 

"No, dear, " cried Zoie. She caught Alfred's arm as he passed the side ofher bed, and clung to him in desperation. "Wait a minute. "

Alfred looked down at her in surprise. 

She turned her face toward the door, and called lustily, "Aggie! Aggie!"

"What is it, dear?" questioned Alfred, thinking Zoie suddenly ill, "canI get you something?"

Before Zoie was obliged to reply, Aggie answered her summons. 

"Did you call?" she asked, glancing inquiringly into Zoie's distressedface. 

"Alfred's here, " said Zoie, with a sickly smile as she stroked his handand glanced meaningly at Aggie. "He's GOT the OFFICER!"

"The OFFICER?" cried Aggie, and involuntarily she took a step backward, as though to guard the bedroom door. 

"Yes, " said Alfred, mistaking Aggie's surprise for a compliment to hisresource; "and now, Aggie, if you'll just stay with Zoie for a minuteI'll have a look at my boys. "

"No, no!" exclaimed Aggie, nervously, and she placed herself again infront of the bedroom door. 

Alfred was plainly annoyed by her proprietory air. 

"They're asleep, " explained Aggie. 

"I'll not WAKE them, " persisted Alfred, "I just wish to have a LOOK atthem, " and with that he again made a move toward the door. 

"But Alfred, " protested Zoie, still clinging to his hand, "you're notgoing to leave me again--so soon. "

Alfred was becoming more and more restive under the seeming absurdity oftheir persistent opposition, but before he could think of a polite wayof over-ruling them, Aggie continued persuasively. 

"You stay with Zoie, " she said. "I'll bring the boys in here and you canboth have a look at them. "

"But Aggie, " argued Alfred, puzzled by her illogical behaviour, "wouldit be wise to wake them?"

"Just this once, " said Aggie. "Now you stay here and I'll get them. "Before Alfred could protest further she was out of the room and the doorhad closed behind her, so he resigned himself to her decision, banishedhis temporary annoyance at her obstinacy, and glanced about the roomwith a new air of proprietorship. 

"This is certainly a great night, Zoie, " he said. 

"It certainly is, " acquiesced Zoie, with an over emphasis that madeAlfred turn to her with new concern. 

"I'm afraid that mad woman made you very nervous, dear, " he said. 

"She certainly did, " said Zoie. 

Zoie's nerves were destined to bear still further strain, for at thatmoment, there came a sharp ring at the door. 

Beside herself with anxiety Zoie threw her arms about Alfred, who hadadvanced to soothe her, drew him down by her side and buried her head onhis breast. 

"You ARE jumpy, " said Alfred, and at that instant a wrangle of loudvoices, and a general commotion was heard in the outer hall. "What'sthat?" asked Alfred, endeavouring to disentangle himself from Zoie'sfrantic embrace. 

Zoie clung to him so tightly that he was unable to rise, but his alertear caught the sound of a familiar voice rising above the din of disputein the hallway. 

"That sounds like the officer, " he exclaimed. 

"The officer?" cried Zoie, and she wound her arms more tightly abouthim. 

CHAPTER XXVII

Propelled by a large red fist, attached to the back of his badly wiltedcollar, the writhing form of Jimmy was now thrust through the outerdoor. 

"Let go of me, " shouted the hapless Jimmy. 

The answer was a spasmodic shaking administered by the fist; then alarge burly officer, carrying a small babe in his arms, shoved thereluctant Jimmy into the centre of the room and stood guard over him. 

"I got him for you, sir, " announced the officer proudly, to theastonished Alfred, who had just managed to untwine Zoie's arms and tostruggle to his feet. 

Alfred's eyes fell first upon the dejected Jimmy, then they travelled tothe bundle of long clothes in the officer's arms. 

"My boy!" he cried. "My boy!" He snatched the infant from the officerand pressed him jealously to his breast. "I don't understand, " he said, gazing at the officer in stupefaction. "Where was he?"

"You mean this one?" asked the officer, nodding toward the unfortunateJimmy. "I caught him slipping down your fire-escape. "

"I KNEW it, " exclaimed Zoie in a rage, and she cast a vindictive look atJimmy for his awkwardness. 

"Knew WHAT, dear?" asked Alfred, now thoroughly puzzled. 

Zoie did not answer. Her powers of resource were fast waning. Alfredturned again to the officer, then to Jimmy, who was still flashingdefiance into the officer's threatening eyes. 

"My God!" he exclaimed, "this is awful. What's the matter with you, Jimmy? This is the third time that you have tried to take my baby outinto the night. "

"Then you've had trouble with him before?" remarked the officer. Hestudied Jimmy with new interest, proud in the belief that he had broughta confirmed "baby-snatcher" to justice. 

"I've had a little trouble myself, " declared Jimmy hotly, now resolvedto make a clean breast of it. 

"I'm not asking about your troubles, " interrupted the officer savagely, and Jimmy felt the huge creature's obnoxious fingers tightening again onhis collar. "Go ahead, sir, " said the officer to Alfred. 

"Well, " began Alfred, nodding toward the now livid Jimmy, "he was outwith my boy when I arrived. I stopped him from going out with hima second time, and now you, officer, catch him slipping down thefire-escape. I don't know what to say, " he finished weakly. 

"_I_ do, " exclaimed Jimmy, feeling more and more like a high explosive, "and I'll say it. "

"Cut it, " shouted the officer. And before Jimmy could get further, Alfred resumed with fresh vehemence. 

"He's supposed to be a friend of mine, " he explained to the officer, ashe nodded toward the wriggling Jimmy. "He was all right when I left hima few months ago. "

"You'll think I'm all right again, " shouted Jimmy, trying to get freefrom the officer, "before I've finished telling all I----"

"That won't help any, " interrupted the officer firmly, and with anothertwist of Jimmy's badly wilted collar he turned to Alfred with his mostcivil manner, "What shall I do with him, sir?"

"I don't know, " said Alfred, convinced that his friend was a fit subjectfor a straight jacket. "This is horrible. "

"It's absurd, " cried Zoie, on the verge of hysterics, and in utterdespair of ever disentangling the present complication withoutultimately losing Alfred, "you're all absurd, " she cried wildly. 

"Absurd?" exclaimed Alfred, turning upon her in amazement, "what do youmean?"

"It's a joke, " said Zoie, without the slightest idea of where the jokelay. "If you had any sense you could see it. "

"I DON'T see it, " said Alfred, with hurt dignity. 

"Neither do I, " said Jimmy, with boiling resentment. 

"Can you call it a joke, " asked Alfred, incredulously, "to have ourboy----" He stopped suddenly, remembering that there was a companionpiece to this youngster. "The other one!" he exclaimed, "our otherboy----" He rushed to the crib, found it empty, and turned a terrifiedface to Zoie. "Where is he?" he demanded. 

"Now, Alfred, " pleaded Zoie, "don't get excited; he's all right. "

"How do you know?" asked the distracted father. 

Zoie did not know, but at that moment her eyes fell upon Jimmy, and asusual he was the source of an inspiration for her. 

"Jimmy never cared for the other one, " she said, "did you, Jimmy?"

Alfred turned to the officer, with a tone of command. "Wait, " he said, then he started toward the bedroom door to make sure that his otherboy was quite safe. The picture that confronted him brought the hairstraight up on his head. True to her promise, and ignorant of Jimmy'sreturn with the first baby, Aggie had chosen this ill-fated moment toappear on the threshold with one babe on each arm. 

"Here they are, " she said graciously, then stopped in amazement at sightof the horrified Alfred, clasping a third infant to his breast. 

"Good God!" exclaimed Alfred, stroking his forehead with his unoccupiedhand, and gazing at what he firmly believed must be an apparition, "THOSE aren't MINE, " he pointed to the two red mites in Aggie's arms. 

"Wh--why not, Alfred?" stammered Aggie for the want of something betterto say. 

"What?" shrieked Alfred. Then he turned in appeal to his young wife, whose face had now become utterly expressionless. "Zoie?" he entreated. 

There was an instant's pause, then the blood returned to Zoie's face andshe proved herself the artist that Alfred had once declared her. 

"OURS, dear, " she murmured softly, with a bashful droop of her lids. 

"But THIS one?" persisted Alfred, pointing to the baby in his arms, andfeeling sure that his mind was about to give way. 

"Why--why--why, " stuttered Zoie, "THAT'S the JOKE. "

"The joke?" echoed Alfred, looking as though he found it anything butsuch. 

"Yes, " added Aggie, sharing Zoie's desperation to get out of theirtemporary difficulty, no matter at what cost in the future. "Didn'tJimmy tell you?"

"Tell me WHAT?" stammered Alfred, "what IS there to tell?"

"Why, you see, " said Aggie, growing more enthusiastic with eachelaboration of Zoie's lie, "we didn't dare to break it to you toosuddenly. "

"Break it to me?" gasped Alfred; a new light was beginning to dawn onhis face. 

"So, " concluded Zoie, now thoroughly at home in the new situation, "weasked Jimmy to take THAT one OUT. "

Jimmy cast an inscrutable glance in Zoie's direction. Was it possiblethat she was at last assisting him out of a difficulty?

"You 'ASKED Jimmy'?" repeated Alfred. 

"Yes, " confirmed Aggie, with easy confidence, "we wanted you to get usedto the idea gradually. "

"The idea, " echoed Alfred. He was afraid to allow his mind to accepttoo suddenly the whole significance of their disclosure, lest his joyover-power him. "You--you--do--don't mean----" he stuttered. 

"Yes, dear, " sighed Zoie, with the face of an angel, and then with alanguid sigh, she sank back contentedly on her pillows. 

"My boys! My boys!" cried Alfred, now delirious with delight. "Givethem to me, " he called to Aggie, and he snatched the surprised infantssavagely from her arms. "Give me ALL of them, ALL of them. " He claspedthe three babes to his breast, then dashed to the bedside of theunsuspecting Zoie and covered her small face with rapturous kisses. 

Feeling the red faces of the little strangers in such close proximity tohers, Zoie drew away from them with abhorrence, but unconscious of herunmotherly action, Alfred continued his mad career about the room, hisheart overflowing with gratitude toward Zoie in particular and mankindin general. Finding Aggie in the path of his wild jubilee, he treatedthat bewildered young matron to an unwelcome kiss. A proceeding whichJimmy did not at all approve. 

Hardly had Aggie recovered from her surprise when the disgruntledJimmy was startled out of his dark mood by the supreme insult of aloud resounding kiss implanted on his own cheek by his excitable youngfriend. Jimmy raised his arm to resist a second assault, and Alfredveered off in the direction of the officer, who stepped aside just intime to avoid similar demonstration from the indiscriminating youngfather. 

Finding a wide circle prescribed about himself and the babies, Alfredsuddenly stopped and gazed about from one astonished face to the other. 

"Well, " said the officer, regarding Alfred with an injured air, and feeling much downcast at being so ignominiously deprived of hisshort-lived heroism in capturing a supposed criminal, "if this is all ajoke, I'll let the woman go. "

"The woman, " repeated Alfred; "what woman?"

"I nabbed a woman at the foot of the fire-escape, " explained theofficer. Zoie and Aggie glanced at each other inquiringly. "I thoughtshe might be an accomplice. "

"What does she look like, officer?" asked Alfred. His manner wasbecoming more paternal, not to say condescending, with the arrival ofeach new infant. 

"Don't be silly, Alfred, " snapped Zoie, really ashamed that Alfred wasmaking such an idiot of himself. "It's only the nurse. "

"Oh, that's it, " said Alfred, with a wise nod of comprehension; "thenurse, then she's in the joke too?" He glanced from one to the other. They all nodded. "You're all in it, " he exclaimed, flattered to thinkthat they had considered it necessary to combine the efforts of so manyof them to deceive him. 

"Yes, " assented Jimmy sadly, "we are all 'in it. '"

"Well, she's a great actress, " decided Alfred, with the air of aconnoisseur. 

"She sure is, " admitted Donneghey, more and more disgruntled as he felthis reputation for detecting fraud slipping from him. "She put up aphoney story about the kid being hers, " he added. "But I could tell shewasn't on the level. Good-night, sir, " he called to Alfred, and ignoringJimmy, he passed quickly from the room. 

"Oh, officer, " Alfred called after him. "Hang around downstairs. I'llbe down later and fix things up with you. " Again Alfred gave his wholeattention to his new-found family. He leaned over the cradle and gazedecstatically into the three small faces below his. "This is too much, "he murmured. 

"Much too much, " agreed Jimmy, who was now sitting hunched up on thecouch in his customary attitude of gloom. 

"You were right not to break it to me too suddenly, " said Alfred, andwith his arms encircling three infants he settled himself on the couchby Jimmy's side. "You're a cute one, " he continued to Jimmy, who wasedging away from the three mites with aversion. In the absence of anyanswer from Jimmy, Alfred appealed to Zoie, "Isn't he a cute one, dear?"he asked. 

"Oh, yes, VERY, " answered Zoie, sarcastically. 

Shutting his lips tight and glancing at Zoie with a determined effort atself restraint, Jimmy rose from the couch and started toward the door. 

"If you women are done with me, " he said, "I'll clear out. "

"Clear out?" exclaimed Alfred, rising quickly and placing himselfbetween his old friend and the door. "What a chance, " and he laughedboisterously. "You're not going to get out of my sight this night, " hedeclared. "I'm just beginning to appreciate all you've done for me. "

"So am I, " assented Jimmy, and unconsciously his hand sought the spotwhere his dinner should have been, but Alfred was not to be resisted. 

"A man needs someone around, " he declared, "when he's going through athing like this. I need all of you, all of you, " and with his eyes heembraced the weary circle of faces about him. "I feel as though I couldgo out of my head, " he explained and with that he began tucking thethree small mites in the pink and white crib designed for but one. 

Zoie regarded him with a bored expression'

"You act as though you WERE out of your head, " she commented, but Alfreddid not heed her. He was now engaged in the unhoped for bliss of singingthree babies to sleep with one lullaby. 

The other occupants of the room were just beginning to relax and to showsome resemblance to their natural selves, when their features were againsimultaneously frozen by a ring at the outside door. 

CHAPTER XXVIII

Annoyed at being interrupted in the midst of his lullaby, to three, Alfred looked up to see Maggie, hatless and out of breath, bursting intothe room, and destroying what was to him an ideally tranquil home scene. But Maggie paid no heed to Alfred's look of inquiry. She made directlyfor the side of Zoie's bed. 

"If you plaze, mum, " she panted, looking down at Zoie, and wringing herhands. 

"What is it?" asked Aggie, who had now reached the side of the bed. 

"'Scuse me for comin' right in"--Maggie was breathing hard--"but memother sint me to tell you that me father is jus afther comin' home fromwork, and he's fightin' mad about the babies, mum. "

"Sh! Sh!" cautioned Aggie and Zoie, as they glanced nervously towardAlfred who was rising from his place beside the cradle with increasinginterest in Maggie's conversation. 

"Babies?" he repeated, "your father is mad about babies?"

"It's all right, dear, " interrupted Zoie nervously; "you see, " shewent on to explain, pointing toward the trembling Maggie, "this is ourwasherwoman's little girl. Our washerwoman has had twins, too, and itmade the wash late, and her husband is angry about it. "

"Oh, " said Alfred, with a comprehensive nod, but Maggie was not to be soeasily disposed of. 

"If you please, mum, " she objected, "it ain't about the wash. It's aboutour baby girls. "

"Girls?" exclaimed Zoie involuntarily. 

"Girls?" repeated Alfred, drawing himself up in the fond conviction thatall his heirs were boys, "No wonder your pa's angry. I'd be angry too. Come now, " he said to Maggie, patting the child on the shoulder andregarding her indulgently, "you go straight home and tell your fatherthat what HE needs is BOYS. "

"Well, of course, sir, " answered the bewildered Maggie, thinking thatAlfred meant to reflect upon the gender of the offspring donated by herparents, "if you ain't afther likin' girls, me mother sint the moneyback, " and with that she began to feel for the pocket in her red flannelpetticoat. 

"The money?" repeated Alfred, in a puzzled way, "what money?"

It was again Zoie's time to think quickly. 

"The money for the wash, dear, " she explained. 

"Nonsense!" retorted Alfred, positively beaming generosity, "who talksof money at such a time as this?" And taking a ten dollar bill from hispocket, he thrust it in Maggie's outstretched hand, while she was tryingto return to him the original purchase money. "Here, " he said to theastonished girl, "you take this to your father. Tell him I sent it tohim for his babies. Tell him to start a bank account with it. "

This was clearly not a case with which one small addled mind could deal, or at least, so Maggie decided. She had a hazy idea that Alfred wasadding something to the original purchase price of her young sisters, but she was quite at a loss to know how to refuse the offer of sucha "grand 'hoigh" gentleman, even though her failure to do so would nodoubt result in a beating when she reached home. She stared at Alfredundecided what to do, the money still lay in her outstretched hand. 

"I'm afraid Pa'll niver loike it, sir, " she said. 

"Like it?" exclaimed Alfred in high feather, and he himself closed herred little fingers over the bill, "he's GOT to like it. He'll GROW tolike it. Now you run along, " he concluded to Maggie, as he urged hertoward the door, "and tell him what I say. "

"Yes, sir, " murmured Maggie, far from sharing Alfred's enthusiasm. 

Feeling no desire to renew his acquaintance with Maggie, particularlyunder Alfred's watchful eye, Jimmy had sought his old refuge, the highbacked chair. As affairs progressed and there seemed no doubt of Zoie'sbeing able to handle the situation to the satisfaction of all concerned, Jimmy allowed exhaustion and the warmth of the firelight to have theirway with him. His mind wandered toward other things and finally intospace. His head dropped lower and lower on his chest; his breathingbecame laboured--so laboured in fact that it attracted the attention ofMaggie, who was about to pass him on her way to the door. 

"Sure an it's Mr. Jinks!" exclaimed Maggie. Then coming close to theside of the unsuspecting sleeper, she hissed a startling message in hisear. "Me mother said to tell you that me fadder's hoppin' mad at you, sir. "

Jimmy sat up and rubbed his eyes. He studied the young person at hiselbow, then he glanced at Alfred, utterly befuddled as to what hadhappened while he had been on a journey to happier scenes. ApparentlyMaggie was waiting for an answer to something, but to what? Jimmythought he detected an ominous look in Alfred's eyes. Letting his handfall over the arm of the chair so that Alfred could not see it, Jimmybegan to make frantic signals to Maggie to depart; she stared at him theharder. 

"Go away, " whispered Jimmy, but Maggie did not move. "Shoo, shoo!" hesaid, and waved her off with his hand. 

Puzzled by Jimmy's sudden aversion to this apparently harmless child, Alfred turned to Maggie with a puckered brow. 

"Your father's mad at Jimmy?" he repeated. "What about?"

For once Jimmy found it in his heart to be grateful to Zoie for theprompt answer that came from her direction. 

"The wash, dear, " said Zoie to Alfred; "Jimmy had to go after the wash, "and then with a look which Maggie could not mistake for an invitation tostop longer, Zoie called to her haughtily, "You needn't wait, Maggie; weunderstand. "

"Sure, an' it's more 'an I do, " answered Maggie, and shaking her headsadly, she slipped from the room. 

But Alfred could not immediately dismiss from his mind the picture ofMaggie's inhuman parent. 

"Just fancy, " he said, turning his head to one side meditatively, "fancyany man not liking to be the father of twins, " and with that he againbent over the cradle and surveyed its contents. "Think, Jimmy, " he said, when he had managed to get the three youngsters in his arms, "just thinkof the way THAT father feels, and then think of the way _I_ feel. "

"And then think of the way _I_ feel, " grumbled Jimmy. 

"You!" exclaimed Alfred; "what have you to feel about?"

Before Jimmy could answer, the air was rent by a piercing scream and acrash of glass from the direction of the inner rooms. 

"What's that?" whispered Aggie, with an anxious glance toward Zoie. 

"Sounded like breaking glass, " said Alfred. 

"Burglars!" exclaimed Zoie, for want of anything better to suggest. 

"Burglars?" repeated Alfred with a superior air; "nonsense! Nonsense!Here, " he said, turning to Jimmy, "you hold the boys and I'll gosee----" and before Jimmy was aware of the honour about to be thrustupon him, he felt three red, spineless morsels, wriggling about in hisarms. He made what lap he could for the armful, and sat up in a stiff, strained attitude on the edge of the couch. In the meantime, Alfred hadstrode into the adjoining room with the air of a conqueror. Aggie lookedat Zoie, with dreadful foreboding. 

"You don't suppose it could be?" she paused. 

"My baby!" shrieked the voice of the Italian mother from the adjoiningroom. "Where IS he?"

Regardless of the discomfort of his three disgruntled charges, Jimmybegan to circle the room. So agitated was his mind that he couldscarcely hear Aggie, who was reporting proceedings from her place at thebedroom door. 

"She's come up the fire-escape, " cried Aggie; "she's beating Alfred todeath. "

"What?" shrieked Zoie, making a flying leap from her coverlets. 

"She's locking him in the bathroom, " declared Aggie, and with that shedisappeared from the room, bent on rescue. 

"My Alfred!" cried Zoie, tragically, and she started in pursuit ofAggie. 

"Wait a minute, " called Jimmy, who had not yet been able to finda satisfactory place in which to deposit his armful of clothes andhumanity. "What shall I do with these things?"

"Eat 'em, " was Zoie's helpful retort, as the trailing end of hernegligee disappeared from the room. 

CHAPTER XXIX

Now, had Jimmy been less perturbed during the latter part of thiscommotion, he might have heard the bell of the outside door, whichhad been ringing violently for some minutes. As it was, he was whollyunprepared for the flying advent of Maggie. 

"Oh, plaze, sir, " she cried, pointing with trembling fingers towardthe babes in Jimmy's arms, "me fadder's coming right behind me. He'sa-lookin' for you sir. "

"For me, " murmured Jimmy, wondering vaguely why everybody on earthseemed to be looking for HIM. 

"Put 'em down, sir, " cried Maggie, still pointing to the three babies, "put 'em down. He's liable to wallop you. "

"Put 'em where?" asked Jimmy, now utterly confused as to which way toturn. 

"There, " said Maggie, and she pointed to the cradle beneath his veryeyes. 

"Of course, " said Jimmy vapidly, and he sank on his knees and strove tolet the wobbly creatures down easily. 

Bang went the outside door. 

"That's Pa now, " cried Maggie. "Oh hide, sir, hide. " And with thatdisconcerting warning, she too deserted him. 

"Hide where?" gasped Jimmy. 

There was a moment's awful silence. Jimmy rose very cautiously from thecradle, his eyes sought the armchair. It had always betrayed him. Heglanced toward the window. It was twelve stories to the pavement. Helooked towards the opposite door; beyond that was the mad Italian woman. His one chance lay in slipping unnoticed through the hallway; he madea determined dash in that direction, but no sooner had he put his headthrough the door, than he drew it back quickly. The conversation betweenO'Flarety and the maid in the hallway was not reassuring. Jimmy decidedto take a chance with the Italian mother, and as fast as he could, hestreaked it toward the opposite door. The shrieks and denunciations thathe met from this direction were more disconcerting than those ofthe Irish father. For an instant he stood in the centre of the room, wavering as to which side to surrender himself. 

The thunderous tones of the enraged father drew nearer; he threw himselfon the floor and attempted to roll under the bed; the space between therailing and the floor was far too narrow. Why had he disregarded Aggie'sadvice as to diet? The knob of the door handle was turning--he vaultedinto the bed and drew the covers over his head just as O'Flarety, trembling with excitement, and pursued by Maggie, burst into the room. 

"Lave go of me, " cried O'Flarety to Maggie, who clung to his arm in avain effort to soothe him, and flinging her off, he made straight forthe bed. 

"Ah, " he cried, gazing with dilated nostrils at the trembling objectbeneath the covers, "there you are, mum, " and he shook his fist abovewhat he believed to be the cowardly Mrs. Hardy. "'Tis well ye may coverup your head, " said he, "for shame on yez! Me wife may take in washing, but when I comes home at night I wants me kids, and I'll be after havin''em too. Where ar' they?" he demanded. Then getting no response from theagitated covers, he glanced wildly about the room. "Glory be to God!"he exclaimed as his eyes fell on the crib; but he stopped short inastonishment, when upon peering into it, he found not one, or two, butthree "barren. "

"They're child stalers, that's what they are, " he declared to Maggie, as he snatched Bridget and Norah to his no doubt comforting breast. "Melittle Biddy, " he crooned over his much coveted possession. "Me littleNorah, " he added fondly, looking down at his second. The thought of hisnarrow escape from losing these irreplaceable treasures rekindledhis wrath. Again he strode toward the bed and looked down at the nowsemi-quiet comforter. 

"The black heart of ye, mum, " he roared, then ordering Maggie to giveback "every penny of that shameless creetur's money" he turned towardthe door. 

So intense had been O'Flarety's excitement and so engrossed was he inhis denunciation that he had failed to see the wild-eyed Italian womanrushing toward him from the opposite door. 

"You, you!" cried the frenzied woman and, to O'Flarety's astonishment, she laid two strong hands upon his arm and drew him round until he facedher. "Where are you going with my baby?" she asked, then peering intothe face of the infant nearest to her, she uttered a disappointedmoan. "'Tis not my baby!" she cried. She scanned the face of the secondinfant--again she moaned. 

Having begun to identify this hysterical creature as the possible motherof the third infant, O'Flarety jerked his head in the direction of thecradle. 

"I guess you'll find what you're lookin' for in there, " he said. Thenbidding Maggie to "git along out o' this" and shrugging his shouldersto convey his contempt for the fugitive beneath the coverlet, he sweptquickly from the room. 

Clasping her long-sought darling to her heart and weeping with delight, the Italian mother was about to follow O'Flarety through the door whenZoie staggered into the room, weak and exhausted. 

"You, you!" called the indignant Zoie to the departing mother. "How dareyou lock my husband in the bathroom?" She pointed to the key, which thewoman still unconsciously clasped in her hand. "Give me that key, " shedemanded, "give it to me this instant. "

"Take your horrid old key, " said the mother, and she threw it on thefloor. "If you ever try to get my baby again, I'll lock your husband inJAIL, " and murmuring excited maledictions in her native tongue, she tookher welcome departure. 

Zoie stooped for the key, one hand to her giddy head, but Aggie, who hadjust returned to the room, reached the key first and volunteered to goto the aid of the captive Alfred, who was pounding desperately on thebathroom door and demanding his instant release. 

"I'll let him out, " said Aggie. "You get into bed, " and she slippedquickly from the room. 

Utterly exhausted and half blind with fatigue Zoie lifted the coverletand slipped beneath it. Her first sensation was of touching somethingrough and scratchy, then came the awful conviction that the thingagainst which she lay was alive. 

Without stopping to investigate the identity of her uninvitedbed-fellow, or even daring to look behind her, Zoie fled from the roomemitting a series of screams that made all her previous efforts in thatdirection seem mere baby cries. So completely had Jimmy been envelopedin the coverlets and for so long a time that he had acquired a vaguefeeling of aloftness toward the rest of his fellows, and had lost allknowledge of their goings and comings. But when his unexpected companionwas thrust upon him he was galvanised into sudden action by her scream, and swathed in a large pink comforter, he rolled ignominiously from theupper side of the bed, where he lay on the floor panting and enmeshed, awaiting further developments. Of one thing he was certain, a great dealhad transpired since he had sought the friendly solace of the covers andhe had no mind to lose so good a friend as the pink comforter. By thetime he had summoned sufficient courage to peep from under its edge, ababel of voices was again drawing near, and he hastily drew back in hisshell and waited. 

Not daring to glance at the scene of her fright, Zoie pushed Aggiebefore her into the room and demanded that she look in the bed. 

Seeing the bed quite empty and noticing nothing unusual in the fact thatthe pink comforter, along with other covers, had slipped down behind it, Aggie hastened to reassure her terrified friend. 

"You imagined it, Zoie, " she declared, "look for yourself. "

Zoie's small face peeped cautiously around the edge of the doorway. 

"Well, perhaps I did, " she admitted; then she slipped gingerly into theroom, "my nerves are jumping like fizzy water. "

They were soon to "jump" more, for at this instant, Alfred, burning withanger at the indignity of having been locked in the bathroom, enteredthe room, demanding to know the whereabouts of the lunatic mother, whohad dared to make him a captive in his own house. 

"Where is she?" he called to Zoie and Aggie, and his eye roved wildlyabout the room. Then his mind reverted with anxiety to his newlyacquired offspring. "My boys!" he cried, and he rushed toward the crib. "They're gone!" he declared tragically. 

"Gone?" echoed Aggie. 

"Not ALL of them, " said Zoie. 

"All, " insisted Alfred, and his hands went distractedly toward his head. "She's taken them all. "

Zoie and Aggie looked at each other in a dazed way. They had a hazyrecollection of having seen one babe disappear with the Italian woman, but what had become of the other two?

"Where did they go?" asked Aggie. 

"I don't know, " said Zoie, with the first truth she had spoken thatnight, "I left them with Jimmy. "

"Jimmy!" shrieked Alfred, and a diabolical light lit his features. "Jimmy!" he snorted, with sudden comprehension, "then he's at it again. He's crazy as she is. This is inhuman. This joke has got to stop!" Andwith that decision he started toward the outer door. 

"But Allie!" protested Zoie, really alarmed by the look that she saw onhis face. 

Alfred turned to his trembling wife with suppressed excitement, andpatted her shoulder condescendingly. 

"Control yourself, my dear, " he said. "Control yourself; I'll getyour babies for you--trust me, I'll get them. And then, " he added withparting emphasis from the doorway, "I'll SETTLE WITH JIMMY!"

By uncovering one eye, Jimmy could now perceive that Zoie and Aggiewere engaged in a heated argument at the opposite side of the room. Byuncovering one ear he learned that they were arranging a line of actionfor him immediately upon his reappearance. He determined not to wait forthe details. 

Fixing himself cautiously on all fours, and making sure that he waswell covered by the pink comforter, he began to crawl slowly toward thebedroom door. 

Turning away from Aggie with an impatient exclamation, Zoie suddenlybeheld what seemed to her a large pink monster with protruding clawswriggling its way hurriedly toward the inner room. 

"Look!" she screamed, and pointing in horror toward the dreadfulcreature now dragging itself across the threshold, she sank faintinginto Aggie's outstretched arms. 

CHAPTER XXX

Having dragged the limp form of her friend to the near-by couch, Aggiewas bending over her to apply the necessary restoratives, when Alfredreturned in triumph. He was followed by the officer in whose arms werethree infants, and behind whom was the irate O'Flarety, the hystericalItalian woman, and last of all, Maggie. 

"Bring them all in here, officer, " called Alfred over his shoulder. "I'll soon prove to you whose babies those are. " Then turning to Aggie, who stood between him and the fainting Zoie he cried triumphantly, "I've got them Aggie, I've got them. " He glanced toward the empty bed. "Where's Zoie?" he asked. 

"She's fainted, " said Aggie, and stepping from in front of the youngwife, she pointed toward the couch. 

"Oh, my darling!" cried Alfred, with deep concern as he rushed to Zoieand began frantically patting her hands. "My poor frightened darling!"Then he turned to the officer, his sense of injury welling high withinhim, "You see what these people have done to my wife? She's fainted. "Ignoring the uncomplimentary remarks of O'Flarety, he again bent overZoie. 

"Rouse yourself, my dear, " he begged of her. "Look at me, " he pleaded. "Your babies are safe. "

"HER babies!" snorted O'Flarety, unable longer to control his pent upindignation. 

"I'll let you know when I want to hear from you, " snarled the officer toO'Flarety. 

"But they're NOT her babies, " protested the Italian woman desperately. 

"Cut it, " shouted the officer, and with low mutterings, the outragedparents were obliged to bide their time. 

Lifting Zoie to a sitting posture Alfred fanned her gently until sheregained her senses. "Your babies are all right, " he assured her. "I'vebrought them all back to you. "

"All?" gasped Zoie weakly, and she wondered what curious fate had beenintervening to assist Alfred in such a prodigious undertaking. 

"Yes, dear, " said Alfred, "every one, " and he pointed toward the threeinfants in the officer's arms. "See, dear, see. "

Zoie turned her eyes upon what SEEMED to her numberless red faces. "Oh!"she moaned and again she swooned. 

"I told you she'd be afraid to face us, " shouted the now triumphantO'Flarety. 

"You brute!" retorted the still credulous Alfred, "how dare youpersecute this poor demented mother?"

Alfred's persistent solicitude for Zoie was too much for the resentfulItalian woman. 

"She didn't persecute me, oh no!" she exclaimed sarcastically. 

"Keep still, you!" commanded the officer. 

Again Zoie was reviving and again Alfred lifted her in his arms andbegged her to assure the officer that the babies in question were hers. 

"Let's hear her SAY it, " demanded O'Flarety. 

"You SHALL hear her, " answered Alfred, with confidence. Then he beckonedto the officer to approach, explaining that Zoie was very weak. 

"Sure, " said the officer; then planting himself directly in front ofZoie's half closed eyes, he thrust the babies upon her attention. 

"Look, Zoie!" pleaded Alfred. "Look!"

Zoie opened her eyes to see three small red faces immediately oppositeher own. 

"Take them away!" she cried, with a frantic wave of her arm, "take themaway!"

"What?" exclaimed Alfred in astonishment. 

"What did I tell you?" shouted O'Flarety. This hateful reminder broughtAlfred again to the protection of his young and defenceless wife. 

"The excitement has unnerved her, " he said to the officer. 

"Ain't you about done with my kids?" asked O'Flarety, marvelling how anyman with so little penetration as the officer, managed to hold down a"good payin' job. "

"What do you want for your proof anyway?" asked the mother. But Alfred'sfaith in the validity of his new parenthood was not to be so easilyshaken. 

"My wife is in no condition to be questioned, " he declared. "She's outof her head, and if you don't----"

He stepped suddenly, for without warning, the door was thrown open and asecond officer strode into their midst dragging by the arm the reluctantJimmy. 

"I guess I've got somethin' here that you folks need in your business, "he called, nodding toward the now utterly demoralised Jimmy. 

"Jimmy!" exclaimed Aggie, having at last got her breath. 

"The Joker!" cried Alfred, bearing down upon the panting Jimmy with aferocious expression. 

"I caught him slipping down the fire-escape, " explained the officer. 

"Again?" exclaimed Aggie and Alfred in tones of deep reproach. 

"Jimmy, " said Alfred, coming close to his friend, and fixing his eyesupon him in a determined effort to control the poor creature's fastfailing faculties, "you know the truth of this thing. You are the onewho sent me that telegram, you are the one who told me that I was afather. "

"Well, aren't you a father?" asked Aggie, trying to protect her dejectedspouse. 

"Of course I am, " replied Alfred, with every confidence, "but I have toprove it to the officer. Jimmy knows, " he concluded. Then turning tothe uncomfortable man at his side, he demanded imperatively, "Tell theofficer the truth, you idiot. No more of your jokes. Am I a father or amI not?"

"If you're depending on ME for your future offspring, " answered Jimmy, wagging his head with the air of a man reckless of consequences, "youare NOT a father. "

"Depending on YOU?" gasped Alfred, and he stared at his friend inbewilderment. "What do you mean by that?"

"Ask them, " answered Jimmy, and he nodded toward Zoie and Aggie. 

Alfred appealed to Aggie. 

"Ask Zoie, " said Aggie. 

Alfred bent over the form of the again prostrate Zoie. "My darling, "he entreated, "rouse yourself. " Slowly she opened her eyes. "Now, " saidAlfred, with enforced self-control, "you must look the officer squarelyin the eye and tell him whose babies those are, " and he nodded towardthe officer, who was now beginning to entertain grave doubts on thesubject. 

"How should _I_ know?" cried Zoie, too exhausted for further lying. 

"What!" exclaimed Alfred, his hand on his forehead. 

"I only borrowed them, " said Zoie, "to get you home, " and with that shesank back on the couch and closed her eyes. 

"What did I tell you?" cried the triumphant O'Flarety. 

"I guess they're your'n all right, " admitted the officer doggedly, andhe grudgingly released the three infants to their rightful parents. 

"I guess they'd better be, " shouted O'Flarety; then he and the Italianwoman made for the door with their babes pressed close to their hearts. 

"Wait a minute, " cried Alfred. "I want an understanding. "

O'Flarety turned in the doorway and raised a warning fist. 

"If you don't leave my kids alone, you'll GIT 'an understanding. '"

"Me too, " added the mother. 

"On your way, " commanded the officer to the pair of them, and togetherwith Maggie and the officer, they disappeared forever from the Hardyhousehold. 

Alfred gazed about the room. "My God!" he exclaimed; then he turned toJimmy who was still in the custody of the second officer: "If I'm not afather, what am I?"

"I'd hate to tell you, " was Jimmy's unsympathetic reply, and in utterdejection Alfred sank on the foot of the bed and buried his head in hishands. 

"What shall I do with this one, sir?" asked the officer, undecided as toJimmy's exact standing in the household. 

"Shoot him, for all I care, " groaned Alfred, and he rocked to and fro. 

"How ungrateful!" exclaimed Aggie, then she signalled to the officer togo. 

"No more of your funny business, " said the officer with a parting nod atJimmy and a vindictive light in his eyes when he remembered the bruisesthat Jimmy had left on his shins. 

"Oh, Jimmy!" said Aggie sympathetically, and she pressed her hot faceagainst his round apoplectic cheek. "You poor dear! And after all youhave done for us!"

"Yes, " sneered Zoie, having regained sufficient strength to stagger toher feet, "he's done a lot, hasn't he?" And then forgetting that heroriginal adventure with Jimmy which had brought about such disastrousresults was still unknown to Aggie and Alfred, she concluded bitterly, "All this would never have happened, if it hadn't been for Jimmy and hishorrid old luncheon. "

Jimmy was startled. This was too much, and just as he had seemed to bewell out of complications for the remainder of his no doubt short life. He turned to bolt for the door but Aggie's eyes were upon him. 

"Luncheon?" exclaimed Aggie and she regarded him with a puzzled frown. 

Zoie's hand was already over her lips, but too late. 

Recovering from his somewhat bewildering sense of loss, Alfred, too, wasnow beginning to sit up and take notice. 

"What luncheon?" he demanded. 

Zoie gazed from Alfred to Aggie, then at Jimmy, then resolving to makea clean breast of the matter, she sidled toward Alfred with her mostingratiating manner. 

"Now, Alfred, " she purred, as she endeavoured to act one arm abouthis unsuspecting neck, "if you'll only listen, I'll tell you the REALTRUTH. "

A wild despairing cry from Alfred, a dash toward the door by Jimmy, anda determined effort on Aggie's part to detain her spouse, temporarilyinterrupted Zoie's narrative. 

But in spite of these discouragements, Zoie did eventually tell Alfredthe real truth, and before the sun had risen on the beginning of anotherday, she had added to her confession, promises whose happy fulfillmentwas evidenced for many years after by the chatter of glad young voices, up and down the stairway of Alfred's new suburban home, and the flutterof golden curls in and out amongst the sunlight and shadows of hisample, well kept grounds.