[Frontispiece: NOTHING WOULD PACIFY HIM UNTIL I GAVE HIM A TUNE. ]

DWELL DEEP

OR

_HILDA THORN'S LIFE STORY_

BY

AMY LE FEUVRE

AUTHOR OF "PROBABLE SONS, " "TEDDY'S BUTTON, " "ERIC'S GOOD NEWS, " "ODD, " ETC. 

LONDON

THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY

MANCHESTER, MADRID, LISBON, BUDAPEST

1896

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

 I A NEW HOME II TAKING A STAND III THE REASON WHY IV AN OPENING FOR WORK V OPPORTUNITIES VI ONLY A FRIEND VII A FRESH ACQUAINTANCE VIII DRAWN TOGETHER IX QUIET DAYS X LONG AGO XI A DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE XII A TEST XIII TAKE HOME XIV WOOED AND WON XV A GATHERING CLOUD XVI DARK DAYS XVII DAWN XVIII WEDDED XIX OLD FRIENDS

DWELL DEEP

CHAPTER I

A NEW HOME

 'Meet is it changes should control Our being, lest we rust in ease. '--_Tennyson. _

A golden cornfield in the still sunshine of a warm August afternoon. In one corner of it, bordering a green lane, a group of shady elms, andunder their shadow a figure of a young girl, who, gazing dreamilybefore her, sat leaning her head against an old gnarled trunk in quietcontent. A small-shaped head, with dark curly hair, and a pair ofblue-grey eyes with black curved lashes, these were perhaps her chiefcharacteristics; more I cannot say, for it is difficult to describeoneself, and it was I, Hilda Thorn, who was seated there. 

It was a beautiful scene before me. Beyond the corn stretched a greenvalley, and far in the distance were blue misty hills and moorland. Mysoul seemed rested by the sweet stillness around, but from the beautiesof nature my eyes kept reverting to the Bible on my knee, and two wordson the open page were occupying my thoughts--'Dwell deep. '

I had been left an orphan at the age of ten, both parents dying inIndia whilst I was at an English boarding-school. There I stayed tillI was nineteen, when I went to an old cousin in London, and for threeyears I lived a quiet uneventful life in a dull London square, seeingvery little society but that of elderly ladies and a few clergymen. 

Suddenly my whole life was changed. My guardian, who had been livingabroad with his wife and family, returned to England, and wished me tomake my home with him. And my cousin was quite willing that it shouldbe so. 

'You are young, my dear, ' she said to me, 'and it is only right for youto mix with young people and see the world. I am getting to preferbeing alone, so I shall not miss you. '

It did not take long to settle matters, and I soon left London for myguardian's lovely place in Hertfordshire, feeling both shy and curiousat the strange future before me. 

But during my stay in London there had been another and perhaps agreater change in my life than this. I had been brought upreligiously, had said my prayers night and morning, and had read myBible regularly once a day, but with these outward forms my religionceased. 

I suppose all my thoughts were in the world and of the world. I hadbeen a favourite with my school-fellows, who assured me I had more thanmy fair share of beauty, and with all the ignorance and inexperience ofgirlhood had planned out glowing descriptions of the brilliant offersof marriage I would have, and the delightful times before me. Ilistened and laughed at them, yet had chafed at the quiet monotony ofmy cousin's home, and had longed for a break to come in the dullroutine of our daily life. 

Then one night I had attended some mission services that were held inour church, and for the first time beheld life and death as they are inreality. For several days I was in great distress of mind, and turnedwith real earnestness to my Bible for guidance and comfort. The lightcame at last, and I saw how completely Christ had taken my place as asinner, and how as a little child I must come and claim the pardon thatHe had died to procure, and was now holding out to me as a free gift. 

This brought a wonderful joy into my life, and as each day seemed todraw me nearer to my Saviour, I felt that no life could be monotonouswith all the boundless opportunities of speaking and working for Him. My craving for a gay, worldly life passed away, and a deep, restfulpeace crept into my heart and remained there. 

When I told my cousin of my experience she looked puzzled, and shookher head. 

'Young people nowadays always go to such extremes; but you look happy, child, and I shall not interfere with your serious views. '

And then my guardian arrived on the scene--a tall, stern-looking man, with iron-grey hair. He had just retired from an Indian cavalryregiment, and still bore upon him the stamp of an officer accustomed tocommand. 

He only stayed with us a few days, and then carried me off to hiscountry home. It all seemed very strange to me, and, though Mrs. Forsyth gave me a warm welcome, I could see I was an object ofcuriosity and criticism on the part of her three daughters, who wereall lively, talkative girls. Two grown-up sons completed the homecircle, both of whom seemed to be at home doing nothing. I learntafterwards that Hugh, the eldest, wrote a great deal for somescientific magazines, and was up in London very constantly engaged inliterary pursuits. 

My thoughts were perplexed and anxious as I laid my head down on mypillow the first night. Little as I had as yet seen of them, I knewfrom the conversation around me that there was no one who wouldsympathise with me in religious matters. How should I, a mere beginnerin the Christian life, be able to take a stand amongst this happy, careless family circle, who already were including me in dances andtheatricals that were shortly coming off in the neighbourhood? Andthen the next afternoon, pleading fatigue from my journey, I saw thegirls go off to a tennis party with their mother and, taking my Biblein hand, crept out of the house and grounds, and found my way, as Ihave already mentioned, into that quiet, sunshiny cornfield. 

Was it by chance that my eyes alighted on those two little words inJeremiah? I think not. I had heard a sermon upon them, and now Iseized hold of them with a fresh realization of their strength andbeauty. 

'Dwell deep!' Oh, how I silently prayed, as I sat there looking upinto the bright blue above me, that I might do so day by day and hourby hour! Silently could I feast and refresh my soul, even amidst thegay laughter and talk around me, for had I not an unseen Friend alwayswith me, upon whom I could lean for support and guidance through everydetail in my daily life?

And so I sat on, drinking in the sweet, fresh country air, and feelingso thankful for the quiet time I was having. 

Suddenly the barking of a dog and men's voices roused me from mymeditations, and in another moment Kenneth Forsyth sprang over a stilenear, and approached me, in company with another young fellow about thesame age. 

'Halloo!' was his exclamation as he perceived me; 'is it you, MissThorn? And all by yourself, too? What a shame of the girls! Let meintroduce my friend, Captain Gates. You certainly have selected a coolspot. May we share your retreat? We were just lamenting the heat, andlonging for a piece of shade. '

And, without waiting for my answer, he flung himself down on the grassbeside me, whilst Captain Gates lounged against a tree close by. 

I was a little vexed at the interruption, and did not feel inclined tostay there with them. Kenneth was at present almost a stranger to me. He had a mischievous, quizzical intonation in his voice when he spoketo me, and Violet, his youngest sister, a bright, merry schoolgirl offourteen, had confided in me the previous night that 'Kenneth was neverso happy as when he was teasing people, and that he took stock of everyone, and mimicked them--very often to their faces. '

I closed my little Bible quietly. My first impulse had been to hideit, but I conquered that as being unworthy of a Christian, and then Isaid brightly, --

'I have enjoyed this so much. You don't know what a pleasure it is, after the grime and smoke and roar of London, to come to a place likethis. Your sisters wanted me to go with them this afternoon, but I wasa little tired, so came out here instead. '

'And are you fond of solitude?' inquired Captain Gates. 'Most girlsare not, I fancy. '

'I like it--sometimes, ' I replied slowly. 

'This afternoon, for instance, ' Kenneth said, with a laugh. 'But toomuch solitude is bad for the young, so we are breaking in upon it for agood purpose. It makes them morbid and self-engrossed. '

I saw that his quick eyes had already noted my Bible, and was vexed tofeel my cheeks flushing. 

'Miss Thorn's appearance is certainly not morbid, ' said Captain Gatesgood-naturedly; and as I looked up at him I met a frank, kindly glancefrom his dark eyes. 

'No, I am not morbid, ' I said; 'I am very happy. '

'Ah!' put in Kenneth with a mock sigh, 'you are looking out at lifewith inexperienced eyes at present, and everything has a roseate hue toyou. Your experience has yet to come!'

For some little time longer they stayed there with me laughing andtalking, and then we all went back to the house together, and my quiettime was over. I liked Kenneth better than his brother Hugh, whoseemed to me to be too sarcastic and supercilious for any one to becomfortable in his presence; but there was a look of mischief inKenneth's eyes which puzzled me, as again and again this afternoon hisglance met mine. 

At dinner I was enlightened. It was a merry home party that night. Captain Gates and another man, a Mr. Stroud by name, had come to stayfor a few days' shooting, and they certainly proved lively additions toour gathering. In the midst of a buzz of conversation and laughter, there was, as so often happens, a sudden lull, and then Kenneth fromthe other side of the table suddenly broke the silence:

'Miss Thorn, Nell here wants to know the name of the book you werestudying so deeply this afternoon in the corn-field?'

My cheeks flushed a little; for one moment I hesitated, and every oneseemed to be waiting for my answer; then I said in a tolerably steadyvoice, 'It was my Bible. '

I felt, rather than saw, the astonishment depicted on the faces ofthose at the table. 

Nelly, who was always overflowing with fun, burst out laughing:

'You don't mean to say that you are religious?' she said; but hermother hushed her rather sharply, and changed the subject at once. 

I felt I had difficult times coming. Later on in the evening, whenmusic was going on, Captain Gates came over to me as I sat looking outinto the dusky garden by one of the long French windows, and said, 'I see you have no difficulty in showing your colours, Miss Thorn. '

I looked up at him gravely. 'I ought to have no difficulty, ' I said;'it is nothing to be ashamed of. '

He smiled, and leaning against the half-open window seemed to regard mewith some amusement. 

'Is it a rude question to ask with whom you have been living before youcame here?'

I told him, and then he said reflectively, 'It's a strange thing why the Bible should be thought so out of placesometimes; but I wonder now if you read it out of pure pleasure, oronly from a sense of duty?'

'Why, I love it!' I exclaimed; then a little impulsively I added, 'I don't mind telling you, Captain Gates, or any one else, for thatmatter, it is only just lately that I have felt so differently aboutit. I used to think it dull and tedious, but it has changed now, orrather, I have changed, and there is nothing I like better than gettingaway alone somewhere and having a nice read all by myself. '

'You will not find much quiet time in this house, ' he rejoined. 'Weare always on the go here; you have come into a different life. Ifancy your Bible reading will soon be a thing of the past. '

'Never, I hope!' I said a little warmly. 'I don't mean to lead a gaylife, Captain Gates; I don't care for those kind of things now!'

He laughed. 'Perhaps you have never tried it?'

'I never mean to. '

Our conversation was interrupted here, and for the rest of the eveningI said very little to any one; but a short time after I had been in mybedroom that night Nelly, knocked at my door. 

'I'm coming in for a talk, ' she said; 'I'm very curious about you. Doyou know that we have all been discussing you downstairs?'

'I dare say, ' I said, laughing. Somehow, I felt very much drawn toNelly; she seemed such a pleasant, outspoken girl. Constance, theeldest of them, though full of life and spirits, was rather cold anddistant in manner towards me. In fact, she had given me the impressionthat my arrival had not been welcome to her. 

Nelly seated herself in a low rocking-chair, and scanned me rathermischievously before she proceeded:

'You are such a pretty, bright little thing to look at, that Biblereading seems so incongruous! Of course, I read my Bible in theevening when I go to bed--at least, when I am not too tired--but that'sa different matter. Mother said we mustn't take any notice of you, andyou would soon shake off these notions; but Captain Gates said you toldhim you didn't intend to lead a gay life as we do--you have evidentlytaken him into your confidence--and he said he would back you againstus for your determination of purpose. Now will you take my advice, Hilda? Don't look so hot and uncomfortable. You haven't come into ahouseful of saints, you know, so you can't expect us to fall in withyour views at once. Mother, of course, won't like it if you go againsther plans for you; she will be very vexed, but she will eventually givein; but it's a different matter with father, and he is your guardian, remember. He hates "cant, " as he calls it, and he has great ideas ofyour taking your position in society as you should. If you cross hiswill, I warn you you will bring the house down upon your ears; he neverwill stand any opposition. And what father will do by his authority, Kenneth will do out of sheer love of teasing. He will lead you a lifeof it, I can tell you; so I warn you beforehand. '

'But, ' I said, flushing a little, though I tried to speak quietly, 'Ihave no intention of setting up my will in opposition to yourfather's--I wouldn't dream of it. What do you think me like, Nelly?'

Nelly laughed. 'I think you are a curiosity, ' she said, 'and whetherwe shall crush your originality out of you in a few weeks' time, remains to be proved. I thought I would give you a friendly intimationof what to expect. And now good-night!'

She left me, and, perplexed and troubled by her words, I went to mywindow, and, opening the casement, leant out to cool my hot cheeks. Such a soft, still night it was! As I raised my eyes to theinnumerable stars above, and felt the hush and solemnity of thedarkness, again the words came to me: 'Dwell deep. ' What did it matterif I found I should have a cross to take up, if I had to bear a littleteasing from others who did not think as I did? When I realized in thedepths of my heart the riches I had, and the stores of hidden wealth ofwhich they knew nothing, I could rest down upon it with such comfort, feeling that my inner life would be sustained and strengthened by Onewho never left me. And so I went to sleep that night at perfect peacein my new surroundings. 

CHAPTER II

TAKING A STAND

 'Who is not afraid to say his say, Though a whole town's against him. '--_Longfellow. _

I was soon at home with the Forsyths. Nelly and Violet treated me as asister, and Constance was too much engrossed at present with her ownconcerns to take much notice of me. Kenneth was the only one who wascontinually bringing forward serious topics of conversation in mypresence, and requesting me to give him my views on them. He never letme alone, and though I tried to keep out of his way, and say as little aspossible, I found it increasingly difficult. Captain Gates more thanonce came to my rescue; but since I felt he had betrayed my confidence afew evenings before, I could not talk with the same freedom to him. 

I saw very little of General Forsyth. He spent the greater part of histime out of doors, and it was only in the evening that he joined us all. His children, though fond of him, never seemed to feel at ease in hiscompany, and I soon found that his will was law with all. 

One afternoon soon after my arrival I went out for a stroll across thefields at the back of the house. I felt I wanted to be alone, and awayfrom the constant chatter and laughter of the girls. So I wandered onfarther than I had intended, and found myself at last on the edge of awild moor. My thoughts were grave ones, but very happy ones; and as Igazed over the broad expanse of heather in front of me away into the bluedistance, where the soft fleecy clouds seemed to stoop and kiss theoutlines of purple hills as they swept gently by, I could not helpthanking God with all my heart that He had brought me into my presentsurroundings. 

Suddenly I was startled by hearing close to me a child's sobs, and aftersome minutes' search I came upon a tiny boy crouched amongst the heather, grasping a bunch of faded harebells in his chubby fist, and crying as ifhis heart would break. 

As I bent over him, he looked up into my face and sobbed out pitifully, --

'Cally me home, lady; I wants my mother. '

'You poor little mite!' I said. 'What is your name? and where do youlive?'

But as I lifted him up he uttered a sharp cry. 'My foots is hurted; Itumbled down, and I've losted my boot. '

I saw that this was indeed the case; his little foot was cut andbleeding, perhaps from coming in contact with some sharp stone, and I wasfor a moment at a loss what to do. He seemed about three or four yearsold, but a heavily built child, and my heart sank at the prospect ofcarrying him. Yet this was the only alternative, and as he seemed tohave very little idea of where he lived, I decided to bring him back withme to our village, there being no other houses in sight. 

He was quite willing to be carried, and wound his fat little arms sotightly round my neck that I thought he would throttle me. But myprogress was painfully slow; the sun blazed down with fierceness, andthere was no shade on the moor; even the fresh breeze which I had soenjoyed in coming seemed to have disappeared, and every now and then Ihad to stop and rest. The child himself soon dropped asleep in my arms, and I became so tired myself that I was strongly inclined to leave himlying on the heather, and send some one to fetch him when I got home. Atlast, to my great relief, as I was crossing a field I saw a figureapproaching, and this proved to be Kenneth. 

'Halloo!' he said, when he caught sight of me and my burden, 'what onearth have you got here? You are certainly the most extraordinary youngperson that we have had in these parts for a long time! Where have youpicked up this small fry? Are you taking a pilgrimage and doing penancefor your sins with him? If you only could see your face! It makes meburn to look at you!'

'Don't tease, ' I said wearily, as I tried in vain to disengage the littlefellow's arms from round my neck. 'I found him crying amongst theheather, and he has hurt his foot and cannot walk. Do take him from me, will you?'

This was not such an easy matter. The child woke up cross, screamed whenKenneth took him, and with his little fist struck him full in the facewith all his childish strength, crying out, --

'I won't be callied by you; I wants the lady. '

Kenneth tossed him across his shoulder with calm indifference to hiscries. 

'I shall have a reckoning with you by-and-by, young man, for thisassault. He is the infant pickle of our village, Miss Thorn--commonlycalled Roddy Walters; his mother keeps the small general shop, and Roddykeeps her pretty lively with his pranks. His last mania has been runningaway whenever he gets a chance, and if you intend to carry him home fromwherever you find him, you will have enough to do, I can tell you. '

I made no reply, for I felt quite exhausted, and was greatly relieved tofind that Kenneth knew where to take him. 

Presently I was asked, --

'Been having a Bible study on the moor this afternoon?'

'No, ' I said quietly, 'I have not. '

'That's a pity, isn't it? You have been out all the afternoon; it'srather frivolous, isn't it, and a waste of precious time to be saunteringover the moor doing nothing? A time of meditation, perhaps?'

Yes, ' I answered, smiling a little in spite of myself, 'I have beenthinking, as I walked, what lovely country it is round here. '

'We are going to have some grand doings in our neighbourhood soon, 'Kenneth pursued after a few moments' silence; 'the autumn manoeuvres arecoming on, and every one round here keeps open house. We generally startthe ball rolling by a dance. Are you fond of dancing?'

'I used to be fond of it at school, ' I said, 'but I--I don't care aboutit now. '

I felt he was trying to draw me out, and resolved to say as little aspossible. 

'Ah! you wait till you're in the thick of it, and see the scarlet jacketsflying round. All the girls here lose their heads, and their hearts, too, for the matter of that. I was telling that fellow Stroud to-daythat if he means anything, he had better cut in at once and get itsettled, for Constance will have nothing to say to him a few weeks later. '

I said nothing; I had noticed Mr. Stroud's attentions to Constance, andhad drawn my own conclusions; but when Kenneth went on in the same straindeclaring that Constance would keep him hanging on till she saw any sheliked better, I turned upon him rather sharply, --

'I am very thankful you are not my brother. I think it is a shame of youto talk so, and I won't listen to any more of it!'

He laughed, and as we were now entering the village there was little moreconversation between us till we had reached the small general shop. Mrs. Walters came out to us in a great state of excitement, and Roddy, who hadnearly fallen asleep again, woke up and began to cry at the top of hisvoice. 

'I'm sure I don't know what to do with him, ' she complained; 'he runsaway from school whenever he get a chance, and last Sunday he breaks intomy neighbour's chicken-house, and smashes a whole set of eggs that wasbeing 'atched! School do keep him a bit quiet in the week, but Sundayshe's just rampageous!'

'Does he go to Sunday School?' I asked. 

'There's no Sunday School in our village, miss; the bigger ones they goesto the next parish; but it's two good miles, and my Roddy he can't walkso fur. Now thank the leddy and gentleman, you scamp, for bringin' youhome!'

Roddy turned his big blue eyes upon us, then suddenly held out his armsto me. 

'I'll kiss her, for she callied me much nicer nor the gempleum!'

I gave the little fellow a hug. He looked such a baby in his mother'sarms, and I felt quite drawn to him. 

'I love little children so, ' I said to Kenneth as we were walking home. 'I wish there was a Sunday School in this place. I should like Roddy inmy class. '

'You might start a Sunday School, ' suggested Kenneth gravely. 'Our oldrector will let you do exactly as you like, I am sure. '

'I wonder if I could, ' I said reflectively; 'just a class for the littleones, and those that can't walk as far as the bigger, stronger ones. Ishould be glad if I could do something on Sunday. '

Then remembering to whom I was speaking, I checked myself and said nomore on the subject, though my thoughts were busy. 

When we came up to the house we found that afternoon tea was going onunder the old elms on the lawn. Mrs. Forsyth was in a low wicker-chairwith her work, Constance was pouring out tea, and Nelly was swinginglazily in a hammock, whilst Captain Gates and Mr. Stroud were makingthemselves generally agreeable. 

'Have you two been taking a walk together?' asked Nelly as we approached. 'I have been hunting for you everywhere, Hilda. Lady Walker has beencalling, and wanted to see you; she used to know your mother. '

'How warm you look!' observed Constance, eyeing me, I felt, withdisapproval. 'What have you been doing?'

I sat down on the garden seat, glad to rest, and Kenneth, leaning againstthe tree opposite, began:--

'Well now, I will give you a true account of her. She felt so disgustedwith our frivolity at lunch, that she went out to get away from us; shewandered on dreaming her dreams and building her castles in the air, mourning over our depravity, and lamenting that she had no scope with usfor all her benevolent projects, until she found herself out upon themoor, whereupon she looked round, and after a time found Roddy Waltersasleep. It was an opportunity to act the Good Samaritan; she hoisted himup into her arms in spite of his howls, and insisted upon carrying himhome. And I met her panting and struggling with him in old Drake'smeadows. '

'But why didn't you let him walk, Hilda?' interrupted Nelly. 

'He had hurt his foot, poor little fellow--it was impossible; even yourbrother saw that, for he carried him the rest of the way himself. '

'And now, ' pursued Kenneth gravely, 'the upshot is that she is so aghastat the state of heathenism and wickedness that the village children arein, that she is going to start a Sunday School herself next Sunday, and Iexpect she hopes to enlist some of us as teachers. Will you go, Gates?I will back you up. '

'Oh, I will go as a scholar, ' said Captain Gates readily. 

'I think, Kenneth, you are letting your tongue run on too fast, ' saidMrs. Forsyth gently; 'I am quite sure Hilda has no such intentions. '

I felt myself getting vexed under all this chaffing, but it has alwaysbeen my way to speak out, and so, turning to Mrs. Forsyth, I said, --

'He is not representing it fairly, Mrs. Forsyth. Mrs. Walters wastelling us she wished she could send Roddy to Sunday School, and I saidhow much I wished I could have him to teach. It was Mr. Kenneth whosuggested my having a Sunday School. I certainly liked the idea, andmeant to speak to you about it, but not now. '

Kenneth laughed. 'You meant to have a private confabulation with themater and the parson, but we like everything above board here. Wehaven't much to amuse us, and so every one likes to know every one else'sbusiness. I can see you have an eye for reform, so think it just as wellto warn others about you. '

'Hilda, ' said Mrs. Forsyth, who evidently wished to change the subject, 'Lady Walker has invited you to go to some theatricals next Wednesdaywith the girls. I told her you had no engagement; you will enjoy it, Ihope. They live a little distance off in a beautiful old abbey, and arevery nice people. '

There was silence; I felt that difficulties were all round me thisafternoon, and perhaps being so tired helped to make me less willing toassert my views. I sipped my cup of tea before replying, and then saidquietly, --

'It was very kind of her to ask me. '

'It will be great fun, Hilda. The Walkers are awfully good at that kindof thing, and they are going to have the stage out of doors. I wish Iwas going to take part in it, but we shall finish up with a dance after, so I shall keep myself for that. '

Silently I put up a prayer for courage, and then replied, --

'I don't think I shall go, Nelly; I do not care about theatricals nordancing. '

'I have accepted for you, ' said Mrs. Forsyth quickly and decidedly, 'forGeneral Forsyth wishes you to go. I am afraid you must keep your likesand dislikes in the background whilst with us about matters like this. 'And taking up her work she left us and went towards the house, whilst Ifelt my cheeks burn, as I realized how displeased she was at my speech. 

Nelly began laughing and talking with Captain Gates, Constance and Mr. Stroud soon strolled away, and I sat on, conscious that Kenneth's eyeswere upon me, yet feeling so uncertain of myself that I dared not speak. I think I was very near tears. Presently Nelly turned to me: 'Have youfinished your tea, Hilda? will you come and get some flowers for thedinner-table?'

I jumped up, tired though I was, and when we were out of hearing of theothers, Nelly put her hand caressingly on my arm:--

'You poor little thing, you have been having a hot time of it since youcame back from your walk. I feel awfully sorry for you. Mother isvexed, of course, but she will have forgotten all about it by the timeshe next sees you. She is never angry for long. Captain Gates said tome just now that you were not wanting in courage or straightforwardness;you spoke up well, Hilda; but I have warned you beforehand, you had muchbetter, as mother says, keep your likes and dislikes to yourself. AsCaptain Gates was saying, if a person feels in a foreign element, theonly cure is to adapt themselves to it. He is taking quite an interestin you, Hilda; he told me you had a true ring about you. But it isawfully funny to me, your standing out against all innocent pleasure. '

'I will talk to you about it another day, Nelly, ' I said, trying to speakgently; 'don't think me disobliging if I leave you now. I am so tiredthat I feel I cannot walk another step. You don't mind getting theflowers by yourself, do you?'

'Of course I don't. Go up to your room and have a nap; you will have aquiet time till dinner. '

I left her, for I felt I must be alone; and when I reached my room I tookmy Bible, and sitting down in the low window seat turned over its leavesfor comfort and guidance. My thoughts were perplexed ones. How I longedto live at peace with every one! How easy it would be to slip along inthis pleasant family life, doing as others did around me; howincreasingly difficult I should find it, if I was continually settingmyself up in opposition to all their plans and wishes for me! And yet inmy heart I knew that unless I took a stand from the first, I should bedrawn into a whirl of gaiety, such as I felt would not be the rightposition for a true Christian to be found in. Then I wondered whatclaims my guardian had upon me, how far it would be right to obey him, and where I must draw the line. 'If only I had some one to advise me!' Imurmured, and the next minute felt ashamed of the thought as these wordsmet my eye, --

'But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send inMy name, He shall teach you all things. '

I bowed my head in prayer, and when a little later I turned again to myBible I was not long left in doubt. 'Be not conformed to this world, ' Iread in Romans. I turned up the references: 'Not fashioning yourselvesaccording to the former lusts in your ignorance. ' 'Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. ' 'Wherefore come out fromamong them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord. ' As I sat there drinkingin these messages, and dwelling upon them each in turn, all doubt andhesitation left me. I was quieted and refreshed, and when the thought ofmy guardian's possible anger flitted across my mind, I was able to put itaside--'He shall teach you all things. '

And that took me to another verse, 'Take ye no thought how or what thingye shall answer, or what ye shall say; for the Holy Ghost shall teach youin the same hour what ye ought to say. '

With this I was quite content. 

CHAPTER III

THE REASON WHY

 Let us, then, be what we are, and speak what we think, and in all things Keep ourselves loyal to truth. '--_Longfellow. _

'General Forsyth, may I speak to you for a few minutes?'

It was after breakfast the next morning that I made this request. Iwas determined to have the matter settled as soon as possible. 

'Certainly, ' my guardian said, looking at me in some surprise. 'Comeinto the library, for we shall be undisturbed there. '

He led the way, politely handed me a chair, and then stood leaning hisback against the mantel-piece and stroking his moustache, giving me atthe same time a keen glance from under his shaggy eyebrows. 

'Well, ' he said, 'what is it? Do you want any money?'

'No, ' I said a little nervously; 'it is quite another matter;' thengathering courage, I looked him straight in the face and said, 'GeneralForsyth, I think you expect me to go to those theatricals at theWalkers' next week. I cannot do it. '

'Indeed!' he said lightly, 'is it a question of dress? What is thedifficulty?'

'No, it is not that. I want to tell you now, for I think it may savedifficulties afterwards. I do not wish to lead a gay life: I cannot goto dances or theatres with an easy conscience. Don't think it a merewhim or passing fancy; it is a matter of principle with me. I havegiven myself to God for His service, and I look at everything in thatlight, and from that standpoint. '

General Forsyth looked amused. 

'Don't put so much tragedy in your tone, child! Since when have youtaken up these peculiar notions?'

'About two or three months ago, ' I replied. 'It has made a greatdifference in my life. I thought if I explained my reason to you, youwould not press me to go to things which are thoroughly distasteful tome. '

'If it is only a couple of months since you formed these views, I thinkyou will find that time will alter them, Hilda. I should like to stateto you that, according to your father's will, I am to have full controlof your money until you marry, or if that does not occur soon, untilyou are thirty years of age. After that you are your own mistress. Are you aware of this?'

'I did not quite understand it so, ' I said, wondering at the turn ourconversation was taking. 

'I tell you this because it explains our position towards each other. So much for the terms of the will. Now for what will touch you closer:I was with your father when he died in India; he was one of my dearestfriends, as you know, and on his dying bed he made me promise that whenyour education was finished I should look after you as one of my owndaughters, see that you were given every advantage due to the positionin society that he meant you to occupy, and in fact be to you what hewould have been had he lived. I know what his views were for you, andthose views I shall conscientiously try to further whilst you are withme. I shall not countenance for a moment your hiding away from friendsof your parents, and others with whom I wish you to associate. A timewill come when you will thank me for my firmness now, and for refusingto allow you to sacrifice all your prospects in life to some morbidfancies that you must have picked up in some Dissenting chapel. '

I was silent for a moment, then I said, --

'I think my father would have wished me to be happy, General Forsyth; Icannot go against my conscience in this matter, it would make mewretched. I do feel very grateful to you for giving me a home; butindeed I would rather go away and earn my own living than lead the lifeyou have planned out for me. '

'We will not discuss the matter further, ' said General Forsyth icily;'I have told you my wishes on the subject. If I am to treat you as oneof my own daughters, you will accompany them wherever they go. I amaccustomed to be obeyed in my own house, and I do not think you willdeliberately oppose my wishes for you. '

'I am sorry to displease you, ' I said in a low voice, 'but in this onerespect I feel I am right in acting so'; and then I left the room witha heavy heart. I went out into the garden a little later, and made myway to a quiet spot in a plantation near the house, where I had found adelightful little nook to sit in, and there I took my Bible and had aquiet read and prayer. General Forsyth was not in to luncheon, but Isaw from Mrs. Forsyth's face that he had told her of our interview. She said very little to me, and when the theatricals were mentioned atthe table she changed the subject at once. 

In the afternoon I joined Violet and her governess in an expedition toa wood a little distance off. We took tea with us, and I thoroughlyenjoyed it. Miss Graham was a quiet woman, but very clever, and sheand her pupil were the best of friends. 

'I wish you were in the schoolroom with me, ' said Violet, as we satchatting together in the cool shade under the trees. 'I think weshould have great fun together, and do you know, I heard mother say toConstance this morning that she wished you were too, for then thedifficulty would be solved. What did she mean?'

I gave an involuntary sigh, and Miss Graham looked at me a littlecuriously; then, as Violet started to her feet in pursuit of asquirrel, she laid her hand gently on my arm. 

'You look troubled, Miss Thorn; I am afraid you are one of those whotry to go through life too seriously, isn't it so?'

'I don't think so, ' I said with a smile; 'I am a little troubled to-daybecause I am vexing both General and Mrs. Forsyth very much, I amafraid, but I cannot help it. '

'Ah! don't do it, my dear. Take their advice, and trust them aboutyour life here. They are old, and you are young. I have heard fromNelly a little about your difficulty, and I am sorry for you, for Iadmire your sincerity. Still, we see things differently when we getolder, and you will find that it is always best to give way to others, and keep your own opinions in the background, especially when you areyoung. '

'It isn't my opinions that I want to bring forward, ' I said, 'but I amold enough to be responsible for my actions. '

'There was a time when I had such thoughts, ' said Miss Graham; 'when Iwas quite a young girl I used to long to join a Sisterhood, and devotemyself to good works for the rest of my life; but I was shown howvisionary and unpractical such ideas were, and after a time I ceased toentertain them. '

'Why did you want to give yourself up to good works, Miss Graham?' Iasked a little curiously. 

She laughed. 'Well, if you really want to know, it was partly becauseI had met with a disappointment. Some one I was very fond of--in fact, to whom I was engaged, left me to marry a girl with money, and I wasfor the time disgusted with life. Then I think I did desire to live auseful life; but now I have realized there are many different ways ofdoing that. '

'I don't wonder you changed your mind, if those were your motives forleaving the world, ' I said slowly. 

'Why, what other motives would you have? What is yours? Isn't it adesire to be good and fit yourself for heaven one day?'

'No, ' I replied softly; 'it isn't to earn my salvation that I want tokeep clear of the world; it is because I have had that given to mealready, and I want to show my love to the Saviour by my life. I dolove Him, and I am so afraid of a whirl of gaiety spoiling thecommunion I have with Him day by day. '

Miss Graham looked at me in astonishment, and was about to speak, whenViolet came back, and we changed the conversation. I do not know howit was that I spoke so openly to Miss Graham, for I generally found itvery difficult to express my thoughts to any one; but I seemed to havebeen led into it, and as we walked back in the cool of the evening Ijust put up a prayer that she might be made to see things differently. 

I was rather relieved to hear that General and Mrs. Forsyth were diningout that night. Perhaps their absence accounted for the extra gaietyof our party; I had never seen Constance and Nelly so full of spirits, and Kenneth and Captain Gates seemed bent upon having 'a real good timeof it, ' as they expressed it. Hugh kept them a little in check atdinner; but when they joined us in the drawing-room afterwards, I sawthey meant to be as good as their word. 

Constance sat down to the piano and began playing some waltzes, andthen Captain Gates sprang up. 'Here, Kenneth, give me a hand; we willmove some of these obstacles, and have a dance. '

In a few minutes, chairs had been piled up one on top of the other in acorner, tables and couches pushed to the side, and a clear space leftin the middle of the room. 

Hugh made his exit in disgust, saying, 'I think it is a romp, not adance, that you are wanting!'

And Mr. Stroud, a quiet little man, said protestingly, 'I think youwill find it very warm work in here; would you not rather take a strollby the river, Miss Forsyth?'

Constance shook her head, and continued playing, and then, before Iknew where I was, Nelly seized hold of me and, whirling me round, waltzed away. I could not help enjoying it; I had always loved dancingat school, so without a thought I gave myself up to it; and whenCaptain Gates stopped us, declaring that he would not waltz withKenneth, and we must make a speedy exchange, I made no objection. Idanced with him and with Kenneth afterwards, and then took Constance'splace at the piano, to let her have a turn. 

When we were all tired out and were resting Kenneth said, --

'I think we are in good form for the Walkers' wind-up now. What do youthink, Miss Thorn? You have changed your mind about going, haven'tyou?'

'No, ' I said decidedly, 'I am not going. '

'Nonsense!' Nelly exclaimed, 'you are. Mother said this morning thatit was settled, and why on earth do you want to keep away? you dancelike----'

'Like a midsummer elf, ' put in Captain Gates; 'I thought you did notcare about dancing. Why, you love it, you know you do!'

I felt my cheeks flush, as I realized how foolish I had been, and thenI said, resolving to be truthful at all events, --

'Well, I thought I did not care for it. I did not know till Nellystarted me off how enjoyable it is still to me. But that does notalter my decision at all about going to the theatricals next Wednesday. '

'It is those, then, that you dislike, not the dancing?'

I did not answer. Kenneth now spoke from the depth of a large couchupon which he had thrown himself. 

'Now look here, Goody Two-Shoes, just stand up and give us a discourseon the iniquities of dancing and such like. Here is your opportunity;five worldlings before you! Shall I ring the bell for Tomkins to fetchyour Bible? I would go myself, only I'm just about done up. You willwant a text. Give us your views; it will be most interesting andedifying. Who knows? You may so convince us of the awful sin of goingto the Walkers', that we shall all send in an apology for our absence, and from henceforth do our dancing at home!'

'Joking apart, we should really like to know your reasons forabstaining from evening parties, ' said Captain Gates. 

Still I was silent, feeling the difficulty of my position; and then, after a swift prayer for guidance, I said slowly: 'I don't think any ofyou will understand me, and I am very sorry I have been carried awayto-night by the music. It isn't dancing itself that's a sin, and I amnot judging any of you; but I know in my heart that dancing andtheatricals are wrong for me; they are the essentials of worldliness, those and horse-racing, and card-playing, and other things of the samesort. I want to keep clear of them all, as I know if I go in for any Ishall be gradually more and more engrossed in them. And the very proofI have had to-night of how my taste for dancing has not gone, will makeme keep right away from it for the future. '

'But why is it such a sin for you?' asked Nelly wonderingly. 

'Because, ' I said, feeling the colour rise to my cheeks with the effortof speaking out, --'because I have given myself, body and soul, to God, and I want to live only for Him. You asked me for a text--here is theone that has helped me: "He died for all, that they which live shouldnot henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for themand rose again. "'

There was silence, then Constance said with a light laugh: 'To beconsistent, Hilda, you ought to go into a Sisterhood; are you thinkingof doing it?'

'No; why should I? I only tell you this to show you how inconsistent Ishould be if I threw myself into the midst of a gay life and thought ofnothing but enjoying myself. '

'Like the rest of us? Give me one of your sort for parading their ownvirtues at the expense of their neighbours!' said Kenneth, with a yawn. 

'Oh, please don't say that! You made me give my reasons. '

'And so you have drawn out this hard-and-fast line of life foryourself, and think you will be happy in stifling all your naturalinstincts?' asked Captain Gates. 

'I am happy--I don't want these things I have something much better!'Then, warming with my subject, I added impulsively, 'I don't believeany of you know what it is to realize that religion is not an outwardform, something we hear and read about, but is a reality in one's soul. It is living instead of merely existing, it is being in touch witheverything beautiful and ennobling, and with a living personal Friend, whose love is such an utterly different thing from anything else onearth!'

'I think we have had enough, ' Kenneth interrupted in a drawling tone. 'Spare us any more rhapsodies. Can't we have a little music? Youmight give us a song, Stroud. '

Mr. Stroud complied with this request at once; he seemed never so happyas when Constance was playing his accompaniments, and for the nexttwenty minutes she and he were singing together. Then Captain Gatesasked me a little hesitatingly if I would play on my violin. I had notoften used it since I had been with the Forsyths, but I had always beenvery fond of it, and had played for hours to my old cousin in London. 

'I think a violin is rather worldly, ' objected Kenneth in his mockingtone; 'I am sure it is not a fit conclusion to the sermon we have justbeen hearing. '

'I don't think it is at all worldly, ' I said determinedly, as I movedacross to one of the long French windows and took my violin from thecase; then leaning against the side of the window I looked out into thesoft summer night, and dreamily began to play. 

Perhaps it was the absence of General and Mrs. Forsyth that made mefeel more at ease, but instead of playing any of my classical pieces Idrifted into improvising as I went along, and then, as my thoughts tookme far away, I gave myself up to them entirely. 'Dwell deep' wasringing softly but clearly in my ears. Storms could come and stormscould go, but in all and through all were those two little words ofpeace and quiet. And my violin was with me, and understood my mood. Idon't know how long I played, but when I came to myself andsurroundings, soothed and comforted in spirit, I found them all staringat me in astonishment. I let my bow fall in perfect silence, andCaptain Gates asked with a long-drawn breath, 'What is the name ofthat?'

'Dwell deep!' I replied with a full heart; and then putting my violinby, without another word I left them, and went up to my room. I didnot go down again that night. 

CHAPTER IV

AN OPENING FOR WORK

'Whoever fears God, fears to sit at ease. '--_E. B. Browning. _

'Hilda, mother wants to speak to you in her boudoir. We have just beenhaving a grand discussion about our dresses for the Walkers' affair, and she wants to find out from you whether you are really going or not. '

I sighed as Nelly finished speaking. 

I was picking some roses on the lawn, and Captain Gates had justsauntered out of the smoking-room, cigar in mouth. 

It was such a lovely morning that I was meditating spending it in myfavourite nook in the plantation, and for the time I had forgotteneverything unpleasant. 

'You poor little creature!' said Nelly sympathetically, 'aren't youtired of it? You have discussed the subject with father, given us along preach last night, and now there still remains mother! Let meadvise you, don't be too outspoken with her. Constance told her aboutour dance last night, and mother seems to think that it must be purewilfulness on your part if you still refuse to go with us. '

'I wish I could be left alone, ' I said a little wistfully; 'I shallonly make your mother angry. '

'Are you tired of showing your colours?' questioned Captain Gates. 

'I hope not, ' I said in a brighter tone, and then I went into the house. 

Mrs. Forsyth was kind at first, but when she saw that I was reallydetermined she became vexed. 

'It is placing me in a very awkward position, Hilda. What excuse can Imake for you? You have not even delicacy of health to account for yourabsence. I am anxious to take you about with my own daughters, andpeople will think I am purposely keeping you in the background. I dowish you had given us some intimation of these strange views before youcame to live with us. It will be a continual annoyance to us. '

'Do you think I had better go back to my cousin's in London?' I asked. 'I really do not want to be such a trouble. If you would only let mebe happy in my own way, and stay quietly at home, I should be sograteful, because you have all been so kind to me that I love to behere. '

'I really don't know what we shall do with you, ' Mrs. Forsyth replied, in a milder tone. 'I believe General Forsyth has his own plans foryou, and if you will not fall in with them, it would be better for usall that you should be away from us. However, of course, we cannotforce you to go with us next Wednesday, so I must try and explain it asbest I can to Lady Walker. I need hardly say that General Forsyth willnot be at all pleased about it. '

I left her feeling rather downhearted. Looking at it from their pointof view, I must be somewhat of a trial to them, and yet I knew I couldnot act otherwise. 

As I was stepping out into the garden again, deep in thought, I wasstartled by the sudden appearance of little Roddy Walters from behind alarge tree close to the house. His hands were full of yellow marshmarigolds and blue forget-me-nots. 

'Roddy has brought them for you, ' were his first words, as he caughtsight of me. 

I had seen the little fellow several times since our first meeting, butthis was the first time that he had ventured to come up to the house tosee me, though whenever I passed through the village he would run afterme, and I had great difficulty in getting away from him. 

'How lovely!' I exclaimed, as I took the bunch from his hot littlehands; 'but, Roddy, you ought to be at school. Have you run away?'

He laughed and nodded: 'Bess Brown did take me to school, but sheslapped me, and I runned away, and Jim tooked me down to the water, andwe picked these booful flowers, and I loves you, and Jim said I mightgive 'em to you. '

'And who is Jim?'

'Jim is waiting for me, Jim is, he's sittin' on the gate; you come andI'll show you him. '

He led me down the avenue as fast as his little legs could carry him, and there on a side gate that led into some fields was a lad aboutfifteen. He got down directly he saw me, and I noticed that he was acripple and had a crutch by his side. 

'Are you Jim?' I asked. 

'Yes, mum!'

'Don't you know that Roddy ought to be at school? It isn't right ofyou to encourage him to play truant. '

Jim laughed. 'He's such a little 'un, he is. '

And then we drifted into talk. Jim told me he lived with his uncle, who was a cobbler, but he himself had no occupation except that ofgathering wild flowers, and taking them into the market town near, twice a week. I found to my surprise that he could not read. 

'I was on my back for years when I might 'a had my schoolin', and whenI was able to get about with my crutch I was that 'shamed to go, beingsuch a big 'un, and such a dunce. Uncle Sam, he has a tried to teachme, but he has a awful temper, and says I'm that slow I aggrewate himinto fits. '

'How I wish I could teach you!' I exclaimed; 'wouldn't you like tolearn?'

'Ay, shouldn't I! but I'm an awful dullard. '

We talked a little longer. I took a great fancy to this thin lankylad, with his great dark questioning eyes--he seemed lonely--and hisaffection for little Roddy was very touching. That afternoon the oldrector happened to call while we were at tea, and I took theopportunity of asking him about the boy; he seemed quite pleased at myinterest in him, and then of his own accord he broached the subject ofSunday School. 

'I should like to get one of you young ladies to have a class of thelittle ones on Sunday. I am an old man myself, and don't feel up toit. I sometimes wish I had a wife or daughter to help me about thesethings. Mrs. Forsyth, what do you think about it?'

'I have no doubt Miss Thorn would be delighted to do what you wish. She has already expressed a desire, I believe, to do something of thesort. '

Mrs. Forsyth's tone was a little stiff, but I was so glad that she madeno objection to the suggestion that I felt quite grateful to her. Andbefore the rector left us he had settled that I should start a classthe following Sunday afternoon from three to four in the vestry of thelittle church. 

'I will go round to my parishioners and let them know. Of course youwill be prepared for very little ones, as the bigger ones attend aschool a little distance off. And as for Jim Carter, if you can givehim a reading lesson now and then in the week, I shall be delighted. '

When the rector had gone, I ran up to my room, and just knelt down andthanked God for the work He had already given me. Only that morning Ihad been praying for something to do, and had anticipated greatdifficulties in the way. 

Yet the opening had come, and everything seemed made easy for me. Andfor the rest of the day this fresh interest made me forget my troubles, until I was reminded of them in the drawing-room that evening. 

We were all there, General Forsyth reading the evening paper, Mrs. Forsyth with her work, and the girls round the piano, when suddenlyKenneth said, turning to me, --

'What kind of a mood are you in to-night? A musical one? Because ifso, please favour us with a repetition of last night's performance. '

'What? Another dance?' said Nelly laughing. 'She is never going todance again, she says!'

'Wait and see, ' and Kenneth's tone was a little scornful; 'but it wasthe violin I was alluding to. '

Then General Forsyth looked up. 

'I hope you have thought better about going to Lady Walker's, Hilda. Ihear you were nothing loth to turn this room into chaos last night inorder to enjoy a dance, so I conclude you have overcome your foolishscruples about it. '

'I am sorry, General Forsyth, ' I said, trying to speak bravely, 'but Itold Mrs. Forsyth this morning that I cannot go. '

'You have your father's obstinacy, I see;' and throwing down his paperangrily, General Forsyth got up and left the room. 

'Never saw the general lose his temper before, ' murmured Mr. Stroud toConstance; and she replied, in tones loud enough for me to hear, 'Sheis a provoking little thing; I believe it is nothing but cant with her. I hate those kind of people. '

Captain Gates was sitting close to me, and his eyes met mine as wecaught the sneering words. He did not say anything, but got up fromhis seat and fetched my violin, which he put into my hands saying, --

'Give us another treat, for you make it speak!'

I shook my head, then, as he begged me so hard, I felt I ought not torefuse, but I could not play as I had done the night before, and when Ihad finished he said, --

'Thank you, but that is rather different to last night. '

'It is rather too classical, perhaps. I will try a little lullaby. It's German, and I think you may like it. '

'Hilda, ' said Mrs. Forsyth when I had finished, 'you ought to cultivateyour gift for music, for you have got a good touch. I am anxious forViolet to play well, but her violin lessons with Miss Graham are asource of constant trouble to me. I wish you could give her a fewhints about it. Miss Graham is a good musician, but she certainly doesnot handle the instrument as you do. '

'I shall be very glad to practise with Violet a little, ' I said, 'ifMiss Graham does not object. '

Then Nelly called to me from the balcony outside the windows, and Ijoined her with a sense of relief at getting out into the still, coolevening air. 

Captain Gates joined us, and leant against one of the stone pillarsenjoying a cigar. 

We talked and laughed for some time, then as Nelly moved off a littlefarther to speak to Hugh, who had also come out, Captain Gates turnedto me and said, 'You are having rather a hot time of it just now, MissThorn, I feel afraid. Why are you so determined in your views? I feelsorry for you, because you have every one against you. '

His tone was sympathetic. 

'I shall get accustomed to that, I suppose, ' I said; but as I lookedaway to the still hills in the distance, my eyes suddenly filled withtears, and I realized how lonely my position was. 

'I can't think why you hold out; you are planning a dreary life foryourself, don't you think so?'

'No, ' I said, hastily brushing away my tears, and smiling at his gloomytone; 'I shall not be a bit dreary; how could I be!'

'I wish you would explain a few things to me, and then perhaps I shouldunderstand better. Do you consider us all dreadful sinners here?'

'I judge no one, Captain Gates. It seems to me you must have somethingto fill your life and interest and occupy you, and if you haven't gotwhat I have, you must have worldly amusements. '

'And what have you got that we have not?'

I was silent for a moment, then I said, --

'Do you ever read your Bible, Captain Gates?'

'Not often. '

'You will find a great deal about the Christian's portion there, if youlook; but I suppose the summing up of it all is just Christ Himself. If we have Him we want nothing more. '

There was another silence. 

At length he said meditatively, 'I should like to be enlightened. Willyou come for a row on the river to-morrow, and let us thrash thesubject out?'

'I don't know, ' I said hesitatingly; 'I will see what plans the othershave. ' And then I stepped back into the drawing-room, leaving himalone there, and wondering if he was really in earnest, or only drawingme out for his amusement. 

When I went forward to wish General Forsyth 'good-night' that evening, he refused to take my hand, saying coldly, 'I shall have nothing to sayto you for the present; your conduct is highly displeasing to me. '

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, as he did not lower his voice, andall in the room heard his words; then I left the room slowly, like anaughty child being sent off to bed in disgrace. Nelly came rushingupstairs after me, and linked her arm in mine. 

'Never mind, Hilda. You see father is never accustomed to have any oneoppose him, and he cannot understand you. You are a bold little thing, to say what you do to him. Now tell me what conspiracy was going onbetween you and Captain Gates this evening? He is asking mother if wecan have a picnic on the river to-morrow. Constance and Mr. Stroud aredelighted, and mother has given her consent. Mother says she won'tstart with us, but may join us later in the day. He said we had betterhave three boats; but I wonder how we are going to pair off. I am notalways going to be coupled with Kenneth, he and I are sure to fight. And I know Captain Gates will have you with him if he can manage it; hefollows you about everywhere. Constance and Mr. Stroud areinseparable, and no one takes any notice of me!'

'Oh, Nelly, how you run on!' I exclaimed, half laughing, half vexed. 'I dare say I shall not go with you. '

'But you must; it will be great fun. Well, good night; I must begoing. '

CHAPTER V

OPPORTUNITIES

 'Draw through all failure to the perfect flower; Draw through all darkness to the perfect light. Yea, let the rapture of Thy spring-tide thrill Through me, beyond me, till its ardour fill The ungrowing souls that know not Thee aright, That Thy great love may make of me, e'en me, One added link to bind the world to Thee. '--_E. S. A. _

We had a very enjoyable day up the river, Violet begged a holiday, andcame with us. We had only two boats--Constance, Violet, and Mr. Stroudin one, and Nelly, Kenneth, Captain Gates, and I in the other. We tookour lunch with us, and landed in a wood that came down to the water'sedge. And after our meal was over Captain Gates asked me to come for astroll through the woods with him. I did not feel inclined to do thisat first, yet hardly liked to refuse, and it was not long before heturned our conversation towards serious subjects. 

'I looked into a Bible which was in my room last night, Miss Thorn, butI couldn't see anything in it to make me wish to alter my life. Itseems to me that as long as we slip along, and live decent, respectablelives, that is all that is required. God is merciful, isn't He? Hewon't require too much of us. '

'"What doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thyGod, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve the Lord thyGod with all thy heart and with all thy soul?"'

I repeated this verse rather slowly, adding, --

'I don't think many of us can say we come up to God's requirements, Captain Gates. "God will put up with a great many things in the humanheart, but there is one thing He will not put up with in it--a secondplace. " He who offers God a second place offers Him no place. I thinkthat has been very truly said; don't you think so?'

'Well, I must plead guilty, of course, when you bring up a verse likethat, ' he responded lightly; 'but that is an impossible standard to setup for us poor human mortals. '

'Yes, ' I said, after a minute's silence, 'judging us from thatstandard, we have all failed. We are "condemned already. " I don'tbelieve, Captain Gates, that we can ever be in real earnest abouthaving our souls saved till we realize our condemnation. The versethat made me miserable was this one: "He that believeth not the Sonshall not see life, but the wrath of God abideth on him. "'

'Were you ever an unbeliever, then?' and Captain Gates looked at mecuriously as he spoke. 

'Of course I believed _about_ Jesus Christ, ' I replied in a low voice, 'but I didn't believe _in_ Him. I hadn't come to Him and accepted mypardon at His hands. I didn't understand that, however good I mighttry to be, I could never expect to enter heaven unless I was washed andcleansed by Him. '

There was silence, and I was afraid I had been too outspoken. Then, aswe were passing a bush, with the most lovely honeysuckle at the top ofit, I stopped and asked him if he would get me some. 

This he willingly did, and as he handed me some beautiful sprays of itsaid, --

'There is no uncertain sound about your preaching, Miss Thorn. Ibelieve you could do something with me if you were to try, but yourdoctrines are strange to me, and it will take me some time to getreconciled to them. You must take me in hand; will you?'

I looked up, and our eyes met. Again I wondered if he were sincere. 

'I think you will find all you need in the Bible, ' I said; and then Ichanged the conversation. 

A few minutes after we met some of the others, and when we came down tothe river's side Violet seized hold of my arm. 

'Hilda, you come in our boat. I had an awfully dull time of it cominghere. I think I was put in to act gooseberry, and I'm not going to doit again. Do come!'

'I will, of course, if Constance likes. '

And that was the order in which we came home, for Mrs. Forsyth neverappeared at all. I was not surprised when Nelly came to me the lastthing at night, as she was so fond of doing, and announced, --

'Well, it is all settled. Constance and Mr. Stroud are engaged, and Iwish her joy of him. Mother is pleased, because he has a nice littleproperty; but I wouldn't have him for all the properties in creation. He is a regular stick, and hasn't a spark of fun in him. I only hopehe won't stay on here after next week. Both he and Captain Gates saidthey must go when the Walkers' theatricals are over. '

'Is Constance very happy about it?' I asked. 

'She seems to be, in her way. Of course, everything is rose colourto-night. Hilda, do you like Captain Gates?'

'Yes, I like him pretty well, ' I said. 

Nelly came up and put both hands on my shoulders. 

'Now, look me straight in the face, and say that again. '

'I don't know what you mean, ' I said, confronting her steadily. 

'Sometimes I wonder if you are as innocent as you appear, ' Nellycontinued, laughing. 'But let me warn you of this: he is a greatflirt, and tries it on with every girl he comes across. Kenneth askedhim to-night downstairs if he thought a saint would make any man a goodwife, and I never saw him so put out. He went off in a huff, andKenneth said he thought he was hit at last. What did you talk about, Hilda, when you and he went off for your solitary ramble?'

I have always been told that I have an easy temper, but Nelly was nevernearer making me really angry than she was that night. 

'I wish you would not speak so, Nelly, ' I said, flushing a little as Iturned away from her; 'I cannot bear that kind of talk; as if youcannot be friendly to any one without having such motives ascribed toyou. Captain Gates talks to me like any one else; he is a little morepolite to me than your brothers are, that is the only difference. '

'My dear, how your eyes are flashing! I shall begin to be quitefrightened of you. I didn't ascribe any motives to _you_, but I onlywarned you to beware of Captain Gates. He told Kenneth you were abewitching little thing two days after he had first seen you, and Ithink the fact of your being so different to the usual run of girls hesees fascinates him for the time. I was going to advise you how todeal with him, but really I hardly dare now. '

'I don't mean to be cross, Nelly; but I am tired, and I want to be leftalone. '

She laughed, gave me a kiss, and departed. I sat down to my Bible withmy thoughts in a tumult. I should have been stupid indeed if I had notseen that Captain Gates liked to pay me little attentions, and his lookas he handed me the honeysuckle that afternoon in the woods had made meshrink into myself, for I realized that he was not only interested inthe subject of our conversation, but in me myself. I had honestly feltglad that he wished to talk on serious subjects, and I had been prayingfor him a great deal that day. Now Nelly's chaffing words had lefttheir sting, and I felt humiliated by being discussed downstairs sofreely before them all. My desires for Captain Gates' welfare were atan end. I felt I could never talk to him again. 

But when I went down on my knees, and just spread the whole matter outin prayer, and then waited in silence till the quiet and peace cameback into my heart, the case looked very different. And, turning overthe leaves of my Bible, I was guided to this verse, 'As every man hathreceived the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as goodstewards of the manifold grace of God. ' Yes; I resolved that whenopportunities were given to me of speaking a word for my Master, Iwould take them gladly, yet at the same time I would not seek to makethem for myself, especially in connection with Captain Gates. 

'Dwell deep!' I said to myself. 'I can let these little vexations andmisunderstandings pass unnoticed; they are like the breezes on thesurface of a lake. If I dwell below, I shall enjoy the calm. '

The next day was Sunday, and at three o'clock in the afternoon I foundmyself waiting in the vestry for my scholars. They were not long afterme. First Roddy, with a shining face and a large bunch of asters fromhis mother's garden, which he presented to me with great pride; thentwo little girls in huge sun-bonnets, and very brown arms and legs, named Hetty and Polly Tyke; a very heavy, sleepy-looking boy about fouryears old, sucking a large piece of sugar-candy; and lastly Jim Carterand a big girl about his own age, whom he held by the hand. 

'We thought you'd like if Kitty was to come; she's blind, you see, andhas never been to no Sunday School, because no one will take charge ofher; they runs off after a time, and then she comes to grief, she do!'

I was a little nonplussed, as I had only expected quite an infantclass; but I made the best of it, and after singing a hymn that theyall seemed to know I had a short prayer, and then settled down to aBible story. I took Samuel's first call, made them each learn a littleverse about it, and then began to talk to them. They were very quietand listened almost breathlessly, but we had a few interruptions: Roddysuddenly nodded his head very violently towards me, and burst forth inthe middle of my talk, --'I'll bring you a robin's egg to-morrer, abooful little egg for your breakfus! I'll go in at the big gates allby myself, and I'll knock at the big door with my stick, and then won'tyou be very 'stonished!'

I hushed him, and a few minutes after little Tommy Evans dropped hispiece of sugar-candy, and in bending down to pick it up, overbalancedhimself and fell with a crash to the ground; of course he howled, and Ihad to take him on my knee to pacify him. But these little incidentsdid not lessen their interest in the Bible story, and when I gave themeach a little reward ticket at the close their delighted faces showedtheir appreciation of it all. The hour over, I dismissed them, andafter promising to come again the next Sunday with several freshscholars, the little ones scampered off. Jim politely offered to putthe room tidy again, and whilst he was doing it I drew the blind girlout into the church porch and had a little talk with her. She told meher mother took in washing, and she helped her as much as she could. 'For father's been dead this five years, and grandfather's an old man, and has rheumatics so bad in his knee he can't do no work, so mothershe keeps him; I wasn't always blind, I had scarlet fever when I wasjust on three years old, but oh, I does wish for my sight in thesummer!'

'You poor child!' I said pityingly, 'you must long to see the flowers, I feel sure. '

'Teacher, ' she said earnestly, 'I like that about Samuel; I shall tryand say softly sometimes, "Speak, Lord, for Thy servant heareth. " Hewill speak, won't He? I should like to hear His voice. '

'You will, Kitty, I know you will. God wants to have you for Hisservant. You give yourself to Him, and ask for His Holy Spirit toteach you day by day. '

This short conversation sent me home with a happy heart. I feltthankful that I had found some work, and I resolved to visit theparents of each child during the week. 

It was a very different atmosphere I came into a short time later. Teaon Sunday afternoon was a time for visitors to drop in, and theconversation seemed to me always on the most frivolous subjects. 

Constance and Mr. Stroud had escaped and gone away into the garden bythemselves, and of course their engagement was being discussed as wellas the gaieties of the coming week. 

I got into a quiet corner and took my tea in silence, hoping I might beleft unmolested, but this was not to be. A Miss Gordon, with amagnificent voice, was singing as I entered, and when she had finishedKenneth turned to me: 'Now, Goody Two-Shoes, give us something fromyour violin. '

He invariably addressed me by that name now, and I knew how vain itwould be to protest against it. 

'Oh yes, Miss Thorn, ' said Miss Gordon, 'we have heard wonderful thingsof your playing; you are quite a genius, aren't you?'

'No, ' I said, colouring a little, 'I am certainly not that, though I amvery fond of it; I must ask you, I am afraid, to excuse my playing thisafternoon. '

'Oh, please play; why won't you oblige us?'

'I never use my violin on Sunday. '

There was dead silence; then a Mrs. Parker, a young widow who had comewith Miss Gordon, said, 'But, my dear Miss Thorn, play us somethingsacred, of course. I always consider the violin quite a Sundayinstrument. In our village the chapel people have two going at everyservice they hold. You surely cannot think it wicked to play it onSunday?'

No, ' I said, 'I don't think it is _wicked_, but I would rather not doit. I am sure you will not press me. '

'She has just come back from Sunday School, ' said Kenneth, lookingacross at me with a twinkle in his eye, 'and so she is doubly shockedwith our levity. I assure you, Mrs. Parker, her religious scruples aresuch that I don't think she would pick a flower in the garden if youwere to ask her to on the Sabbath!

I rose from my seat, for I had finished my tea, and pointing to acrimson rose in my waist-belt I said half laughing; 'I picked this as Icame in this afternoon, ' and then I left the room and went upstairs, where I had a nice quiet hour by myself. I felt quiet times alone werequite essential to me now, otherwise I seemed to almost lose touch withthe unseen things that were so dear to me. 

CHAPTER VI

ONLY A FRIEND

 'Surely a woman's affection Is not a thing to be asked for, and had for only the asking?--_Longfellow. _

Wednesday evening came, and all went off to Lady Walker's except Hughand myself. He seemed very rarely to go out with the others, and wasgenerally up in London several nights a week. I had helped the girlsto dress, and had done all I could for them before they went, but ithad been a trying time. General Forsyth had hardly spoken to me sincehe knew my decision was final, and Mrs. Forsyth was continuallyreferring to my foolishness. So I was relieved when they were out ofthe house, and quite enjoyed the quiet dinner with Hugh. He certainlyexerted himself to be agreeable, and asked me if I would come upstairsand sit in his study after dinner. 

'Bring your violin, ' he said, 'and if you will play nicely to me I willtreat you to a glimpse of the heavens through my telescope. It is abeautiful starry night. '

His study was a very comfortable-looking room, with a large bay windowoverlooking the open country, and I took up my position in front of itas I played to him. I did not know he was so fond of music; but as Ilaid my violin down I noticed how he was leaning back in his chair witha dreamy smile upon his face, and drawing in a long breath, he said, --

'Thank you. I think that's a better class of entertainment than whatis going on at the Walkers' at present. A low-level life there, Iconsider, and one only marvels at men and women spending their wholeexistence in such trifles: time and talents utterly wasted, and powersof intellect used and abused in the foolish chit-chat of society!'

He spoke so contemptuously that I looked up in surprise. 

'I think, ' I said, 'every one must have something to fill their life. They are as much occupied in their gay sphere as you are in yourliterary one. '

'Or as you in your pious one! Quite true; and I suppose we each thinkour own sphere immeasurably superior to any other. I tell youhonestly, I have a contempt for the frivolous one, and a pity for thereligious. I look at both from a higher platform. '

'You place all your faith in man's intellect, ' I said slowly; 'but"religious" people, as you call them, place their faith in the Creatorof man's intellect. I don't think you are on a higher platform thanthey; you haven't got quite high enough. '

He made a movement of impatience in his chair, then relapsed into hisnatural supercilious manner. 

'It is amusing to hear you air your views so dogmatically; if you wereversed in some of the literature of the present day, and knew how manyold-time notions and superstitions are disappearing under the fullclear light of reason and science, you would not speak so positively. You must let me lend you a few books that may enlarge your thoughts andenlighten you on these subjects. '

'No, thank you, ' I said quietly; 'you mustn't be vexed if I say again, you don't rise high enough; you read and study the works and productionof men's brains, but I go by God's own Book, and that is beyond andabove them all. '

Hugh laughed. 'I never argue with women, or I would show you howfaulty your statements are. But never mind. I would rather see a girltake serious views of life than fritter it away as most do. You meanwell, and live up to your light. Now would you like to have a lookthrough my telescope?'

I assented; but I could not help wondering how much or how little Hughreally did believe. Nothing could be kinder than his explanations ofthe different planets and stars that we looked out upon, and for a fullhour I was engrossed in gazing at various constellations above. I hadalways been interested in astronomy, and Hugh was very lucid as well aspatient in giving me a great deal of fresh information. I listened andgazed breathlessly, and at last came away from the telescope with adeep-drawn breath of regret. 

'It is so lovely; it seems to carry one quite away from earthaltogether: the infinite space stretching away and away. Oh, Mr. Forsyth, you do not doubt the existence of God, do you?'

'No; I believe in a Supreme Being. I am not such an utter unbelieveras that. '

'I should hardly think any one who studied astronomy could believe thatthe universe was made by chance. Isn't there some spot in the Pleiadeswhich is the centre of the whole solar system? I remember seeing somearticle about it once, and I like to think of heaven there. '

He smiled, but changed the conversation, and we did not touch onserious subjects again. When I prayed that night, I especiallyremembered Hugh; it seemed so sad to me that he was only using hisintellect to try and discover flaws in the Bible, and prove to himselfand others that some of the most important truths in Christianity wereonly popular superstitions. 

Nelly had told me much about him; for though he kept himself aloof agreat deal from the girls, every now and then he would unbend, and, ashe had done this night, would take them into his study and interestthem with his telescope and conversation. 

But I resolved not to read any of his books. I felt I dared notwilfully go into such temptation; and when, as I was leaving him, heasked me if I would like the loan of a few, I answered, 'No, thank you, I would rather not. I am not a dissatisfied, restless soul that isseeking for the truth. I have found it, and am happy in it. '

'You are a very self-satisfied soul, at all events, ' he said. 

I coloured up, for I had been feeling a little self-righteous as Imentally condemned him for his free-thinking opinions. 

'I ought not to be satisfied, ' I said in a contrite voice, 'with self;but I am satisfied with Christ. '

And then I left him. 

Nelly was very full of the delightful evening they had spent, when Isaw her the next morning, and I listened and tried to take an interestin her account, for I knew how she loved to talk about such things; butI heard nothing to make me regret my choice. 

'Captain Gates left us that afternoon. As he was wishing us allgood-bye, he turned to me and said:

'You will see me over here in another three weeks, for I am coming tothe dance here then, so this will not be a long good-bye. '

Then, as he shook hands with me, he lowered his voice, and saidearnestly, 'I shall not forget our talks together, Miss Thorn. I havebeen most interested, and I honestly tell you, I should like to havethe happiness and satisfaction that you get out of your religion. Idon't know if I shall ever get it; but you will give me a thoughtsometimes, won't you?'

'If you read the Bible, I am sure you will find what you need there, ' Isaid. 

We were very quiet for the next week or two; I began visiting my Sundayscholars in their homes, and started reading-lessons with Jim. We wentout into the fields, and under the shade of some old tree would spendmany a quiet half-hour. He was so anxious and eager to learn that Idid not find his dullness trying, and though progress seemed very slow, it was sure, for what he once learnt he did not easily forget. Jim'suncle, Roger Carter, was quite a character, and he dearly loved me todrop in and have a chat with him. He was a good old man, and generallyasked me to have a bit of reading or a prayer with him before I left. And when he discovered that I played on the violin, nothing wouldpacify him until I had brought it down and given him a tune. 

'Ah, ' he said, drawing a long breath, 'that's something like moosic, that is. I know the right sort when I heers it. I've got a ear forit, though I've not the hands. I plays my toones on these 'ere bootsand shoes. ' And he laughed as he looked up at me through his shaggyeyebrows. 

The day came for the Forsyths' dance. I had asked Mrs. Forsyth quietlyif she would mind my keeping in my own room and not appearing at all;but this she would not hear of, and I felt myself that it would be adifficult thing to do. I longed to go away somewhere for a few days, and so miss it; but my old cousin in London had gone abroad, and I hadvery few old friends. So I determined to make no fuss about it, andtrusted that I should be able to escape notice in the crowd, and slipaway by myself when the dancing began. I told Nelly positively that ifI was present I would not dance. She laughed at me, and assured me Iwould change my mind when the time came. 

I did not realize what a large affair it would be, and I must honestlyconfess as the time drew near I felt a certain pleasurable excitementin all the preparations for it. A large marquee was put up on thelawn, and I with the others helped in decorating and draping it inside. A regimental band was coming, and Nelly assured me with pride, --

'Our autumn ball is the event of the year. You will see that everybodywill be here. '

And so at last the evening arrived. Both Nelly and I were in softwhite silk; and when Mrs. Forsyth came into my room to inspect my dressbefore going down, she said kindly, --

'You look very nice, child. Now I hope you are going to enjoy yourselflike other girls, and not let silly scruples lead you into doinganything that will displease General Forsyth. '

'I am not going to dance, Mrs. Forsyth, ' I said, flushing as I spoke. 

She left my room without replying, and then kneeling down, I asked tobe kept and guided throughout the evening. I found great comfort inthe verse, 'I pray not that Thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep them from the evil. ' And on my knees Iasked that I might not only be kept from joining in the gaiety, butfrom wishing to join in it, for I felt how little I knew my own heart. All that day I had had longings to throw myself heart and soul intoeverything, as Nelly intended doing; and I found myself wondering ifthere would be very much harm in doing so. 

An hour later and I was in the midst of it. The first one who made hisway to me was Captain Gates. 

'I want you to give me a waltz, ' he said. 'We have danced togetherbefore, so don't say "No. " I have been looking forward to it. '

I shook my head. 

'I can see from your face, Captain Gates, that you know what my answerwill be. I think you would be very surprised if I were to do it. '

'I assure you I shouldn't be, ' he responded; 'there's no earthlydifference in dancing now and dancing a week or two ago. It is thesame partner and the same place. Come, don't make my evening anunpleasant one by refusing!'

'I should not do that in any case, ' I answered; 'there are plenty ofother partners in the room for you. '

'I will not dance with any of them if I cannot dance with you. '

I looked up in surprise; there was suppressed vehemence in his tone; hewent on, --

'Will you come out upon the terrace with me? I--I want to speak toyou. '

I hesitated, and wanted to refuse, but I had a longing to get out intothe cool air, and I did not realize at the time what it might lead to. 

So throwing a light shawl over my head I stepped out upon the terrace, and then suddenly he overwhelmed me with surprise and consternation bytelling me that he cared for me, and asking if I could return his love. 

'I am very, very sorry, ' I faltered; 'but you have known me such alittle while that I never dreamt of such a thing. I can hardly believeyou are in earnest even now. '

'Do I look as if I were trifling?' he said earnestly. 'Miss Thorn, youhave the making of me in your hands. I have led a useless kind of lifeup to the present, and I have for a long time been dissatisfied andrestless about it. I see you have what I have not, and I want yourhelp. I do want a good woman as my wife--I feel she could raise mylife to a higher level, and you could do this for me. '

'I cannot, ' I said gravely. 'No one can do that but God. '

He went on without heeding me, --

'Don't think I am asking you only to be my reformer--I would give youlove in return. You don't know what you are to me! I cannot get yourimage out of my heart. Don't steel yourself against me, but try, dojust try, to like me. '

'I like you as a friend very much, ' I replied, trying to speak gently, for I could see he was very much moved. 'You have been most kind to meever since I came; I am only so sorry that I cannot think of you in anyother light. '

'A friend!' he exclaimed impetuously; 'I don't want that. Ah! MissThorn, you are so desirous of doing good and spending your life inministering to others, and yet when an opportunity comes of reallybenefiting a human creature and of making him into a good man, you turnaway in scorn. If you will have nothing to say to me, you will send mefrom bad to worse!'

'Oh, Captain Gates!' and tears that I could not keep back started to myeyes, 'you know it is not in scorn I am acting so. But it wouldn't befor our good if I were to say "Yes. " I have not any love to give you, and I know myself better than you do. If I loved you, I would not dareto link my life with yours. Forgive me for saying it. I am not strongenough to lead you; I should be led by you. You do not know what aweak creature I am. As it is, I feel I am safe, for I put my trust inGod, and He keeps me; but I would not dare to place myself in aposition of temptation and then expect Him to keep me in it. '

'Really you must have a very low opinion of me. What kind of a life doyou think I lead? I want to do better, I want to be an out-and-outChristian. And I want you to help me to become one. '

'Hilda! out here? I am so warm that I shall come and join you. Howdelicious the air is!'

It was Nelly who cut our conversation short, and I was very thankful tomake my escape. I felt I must be alone, and hastened away to my ownroom. 

CHAPTER VII

A FRESH ACQUAINTANCE

 'I say Just what I think, and Nothing more or less. '--_Longfellow. _

I was not missed that night, and no one came near me. With my Bible onmy knees, I felt quite convinced that I had acted rightly, and I wasthankful that beyond a sincere liking for Captain Gates as a friend I hadno other feeling to make my decision a hard matter. Inexperienced as Iwas, I knew no Christian ought to yoke themselves with another, with onlythe hope of helping them heavenwards in view. And I felt that if I wereto love any one, it must be one who could help and lead me in the rightway, and who was an older and a better Christian than I was myself. ButI was sorry for Captain Gates, and wrote him a little note that samenight, for I was afraid lest the interruption to our conversation shouldgive him the excuse for continuing the subject when another opportunityoffered itself, and that I wanted to avoid. 

The next morning I went to Mrs. Forsyth's boudoir, and finding her alonetold her of what had passed the night before. She was much surprised, and not altogether pleased. 

'I ought to have looked after you better, ' she said, 'but Captain Gateshas seemed more like a brother to my girls. He was brought up with theboys, and has looked upon this as his second home. I noticed, of course, how attentive he was to you; but it is his way with most freshacquaintances, and I never dreamed of it leading to anything serious. Why, he has no prospects beyond his pay and a trifling allowance from hisfather! What could he be dreaming of?'

I listened, but said nothing, only wondered at the different views peopletook of things. Mrs. Forsyth's reason for my refusal of him was so veryfar apart from mine. 

The ball was a theme of conversation for many days after, and I wasthankful that my absence from it had been so little noticed. But, astime went on, my life seemed to get very difficult. I think I hadnaturally a bright disposition, and so in the first freshness of mysurroundings did not mind the little disagreeables attending my'strait-laced views, ' as Nelly called them. When Captain Gates had leftus, our gaiety did not cease; I seemed to be continually in opposition tomy guardian, and after bearing a good deal of grave displeasure from him, and light scorn from the rest, I was finally left in peace to go my wayalone, with the sense of being in perpetual disgrace, and being shunnedand avoided by most of the girls' friends. This I could not help feelingacutely--I longed to be friends with every one; and many a tear was shedin the privacy of my own room, as I would see a merry party leave thehouse bound on some excursion--perhaps a simple water picnic--to which Ihad not been asked, on account of my 'peculiar ideas. ' Then it was Isought to 'dwell deep, ' and found increasing comfort in studying mylittle Bible. I was not dull, for I visited much in the village. MySunday class increased, and my little scholars were a perpetual source ofenjoyment to me. I went for walks with Violet and her governess, andwhen feeling lonely would often take my violin up to my room and enjoy anhour or two there in quiet. Sometimes Hugh would ask me to come in andplay to him, and as the evenings drew in I often went to him for an hourbefore dinner. He really was fond of music, and would lean back in hischair and thoroughly enjoy it. I tried to make myself as pleasant toevery one as I could: I helped Mrs. Forsyth in her gardening, which washer particular hobby; I ran errands for the girls, and made a point ofobliging them in every way possible; I practised my violin with Violet, and was always ready for an outdoor scramble with her when Miss Grahamwas not able to accompany us; and in filling up my days with theseoccupations I learnt to be content and happy. 

'You are a good little thing, Hilda, ' Nelly said one day to me, as I washanding her back a pair of gloves I had been mending for her. 'Isometimes think we are very horrid to you. I wish you weren't so awfullyreligious; but I will say this for you, that you practise what youpreach, and your religion seems to suit you. I am sure, though youhaven't half the fun that I have, you always look as bright and jolly asyou can be. How do you manage it?'

'I try to "dwell deep, "' I said; and Nelly laughingly rejoined as sheleft me, --

'I am sure you are deeper than I am. I like to skim the surface as I gothrough life; one gets the cream that way. '

It was a bright October morning. I had been picking some late roses onthe lawn close to the house, and with my hands full of those and somelovely sprays of red and gold-coloured leaves was just entering the halldoor, when a strange voice made me turn round. 

'Is Mrs. Forsyth at home?'

It was a lady who spoke, in clear, brisk tones; she was not very young, and wore a severely plain dress: a round felt hat like a man's, with twoor three crow's feathers stuck in carelessly at the side, a thick pair ofleather gauntlets, and carried a walking stick in her hand. 

I was answering in the affirmative, when suddenly down came her hand onmy shoulder. 

'Are you Hilda Thorn?'

'Yes, ' I said, quietly meeting a searching look from two keen dark eyesunder very thick eyebrows. 

'And you are indeed, I hear, a veritable thorn in the side of my poorsister. I am glad to have met you. Now take me to her. '

Her quick, imperative tones awed me. I had heard Nelly talk about anaunt of theirs, a Miss Rayner, who was a strong-minded and peculiarwoman, and I rightly conjectured that this must be she. 

We found Mrs. Forsyth in her own sitting-room, busy with accounts, and Ifancied she did not look well pleased at the advent of the visitor. 

'Well, Helen, ' she said, rising from her seat, 'you are home again, then. I thought you were still in America. This is quite a surprise. '

'I don't take long over business, and I am not one to let the grass growunder my feet. I have been making acquaintance with this young person. Why, Maria, she is a mere baby!'

I beat a retreat hastily, and finding Nelly practising a song in thedrawing-room, told her of the arrival. 

'Aunt Helen! my goodness! won't mother be in a fuss! She pays usperiodical visits to set us all straight. Isn't she a cure, Hilda? I'malways expecting to see her walk in rigged out in a sportingcostume--knickerbockers and all. She wears a greatcoat in winter exactlylike a man's. '

'She has a handsome face, ' I said, 'and I like her short grey hair; itseems to suit her. She must be quite six foot, Nelly, isn't she?'

'Yes, half an inch over, I think. What did she say to you?'

'She told your mother I was a mere baby. '

Nelly burst out laughing. 'That's better than being called anempty-pated noodle, as I was, the last time I was addressed by her. NowI wonder if she is going to stay to lunch; did she say?'

'I did not hear her. Where does she live?'

'Only about fifteen miles from here, but we do not often meet. She isquite a character. Do you know what her hobby is? Rearing poultry. Shekeeps what she calls a "chicken farm, " and sends her eggs and fowls up toLondon. In the winter she uses incubators, and has broods of chickensall the year round. Her farm is quite a sight worth seeing. I believeshe has lots of visitors from all parts, and she prides herself uponhaving all the latest improvements. She has just been over to Chicagoabout an incubator; they are always adding improvements, she says, andshe went over to see it properly worked. '

'But does she do this from mercenary motives?' I asked. 

'Oh no. She is very comfortably off; it is just her hobby, but I believeshe makes money over it. She is a clever woman, and hates society. Shemust do something with her life, I suppose. I believe she has a lovestory, but mother will never tell; she always says, "It was not for thelack of suitors that your aunt has remained single. "'

I was interested in this account of Miss Rayner, and when we met atluncheon I found my eyes continually wandering in her direction. Shetalked well, and was most amusing, though her sarcastic speeches andscornful curl of the lip rather spoilt the conversation, I thought. 

She took no notice of me, and so I was greatly astonished, when she wasbidding us all good-bye shortly after lunch, to see her give a quick nodat me and say, 'I shall see you shortly. You are coming over to stay with me the end ofnext week. Don't bring a lot of evening toggery, for you will not see asoul except myself. '

Seeing my surprised looks, Mrs. Forsyth said, --

'I have not asked her if she would like to go yet. '

'Oh, she will come fast enough, ' responded Miss Rayner sharply. 'She hasbeen listening quietly and drawing her own conclusions about me duringluncheon, and she thinks I am queer, but that I am different to mostfolks. Novelty has a charm for the young. _Au revoir_, Miss Thorn. '

She gave me a little mocking bow, kissed Mrs. Forsyth, waved her hand tothe others, and was gone before I could recover from my surprise at thissudden announcement. 

I turned to Mrs. Forsyth for an explanation, but she merely said, 'Miss Rayner has invited you over to her place for a week or two. Ofcourse it remains with you whether you would like to go or not. Nellyhas stayed with her once or twice; so she can tell you whether you willbe likely to enjoy yourself there. '

'But she never asked me, mother, ' said Nelly. 'I only went there in aconvalescent state after an attack of measles. She must have taken awonderful fancy to Hilda to ask her. '

Visions of my Sunday scholars floated before me, and I saidhesitatingly, --

'I don't know that I care about going, Mrs. Forsyth. She is a perfectstranger to me, and I am quite happy here. '

'I think the change will be good for you, ' said Mrs. Forsyth, 'and it hascome at the right time, for I think of taking the two girls up to Londonfor three weeks. Miss Forsyth, their aunt, has asked us. She extendedthe invitation to you; but unless you behave differently there to whatyou do with us, I really could not undertake to have the charge of you. She lays herself out for the pleasure of young people in her house, andyou could hardly accept her hospitality if you refused to take part inevery entertainment that was provided for you. '

'No, ' I said quietly, 'I am afraid I should only be a wet blanket if Iwent. I will go to Miss Rayner's if you wish, Mrs. Forsyth. Perhaps youwould rather I went to her than stay quietly at home?'

'I certainly should!'

And so the matter was settled. Mrs. Forsyth and the girls left the room, but I stood for a moment at the window looking out into the garden. Ifelt the sting of Mrs. Forsyth's words; she did not often hint so plainlywhat a trouble I was to her, and though I knew it was true, it gave me alonely, desolate feeling, and I wondered how I could always bear it. Tears came to my eyes, and then suddenly Kenneth's voice broke in, 'Crying, Goody? What's the matter?'

I had not noticed he was in the room, and hastily controlled myself. Hislight, bantering tone jarred upon me, but I answered, trying to laugh, 'Nothing; I am silly, that is all. '

'I don't think you can want to go to wicked London, do you?' he pursued, as he threw himself back into an easy chair and surveyed me meditatively. 'Do you think you are being banished to Miss Rayner's as a punishment?'

'Of course not. I--I am only sorry that I vex your mother so. '

'You have the remedy in your own hands. But I suppose you get a gooddeal of pleasure out of the consciousness of your own superiority to usall, and that solaces and supports you through everything. '

'You know that is not so!' I said, and my tone was indignant. 

He laughed. 'You mustn't get angry, you know; that is not saintly. Areyou frightened of our respected aunt?'

'No, not frightened, but I am not fond of making fresh acquaintances, andsometimes I feel that there is no place for me here; if only I had a homeof my own!'

'I think I can manage that for you, ' was Kenneth's reply. 'Let me send aline to Gates; I will tell him you are relenting. '

I ignored this speech, and continued: 'You know what I mean. If myparents had lived, it would have been so different. Not that I haveanything to complain of. No one could be kinder than General and Mrs. Forsyth. I am only sorry that I have disappointed them so!'

Kenneth was silent for a moment, then he said cheerfully, 'Look here! Iam not going up to town, so I promise to ride over and see you while youare with my aunt. Then you can tell me if she is bullying you. You neednot stay there if you do not like it. '

I laughed. 

'Perhaps I shall like her so much that I shall not want to come backhere. But I shall be very glad to see you if you come. '

CHAPTER VIII

DRAWN TOGETHER

 'As we meet and touch each day The many travellers on our way, Let every such brief contact be A glorious helpful ministry. '

I have a very pleasant recollection of my arrival at Miss Rayner'shome. It was a lovely afternoon, bright and sunny, with a touch offrost in the air, when I reached the little country station. There wasa trap waiting for me outside, in charge of a garrulous old coachmanwho was quite a character. When he had seen to my luggage and wrappeda fur rug round me, I noticed him taking a sidelong glance at me, andthen he commenced, 'You're a fresh h'arrival here, I reckon, miss. Wedon't so h'often have young lady visitors. '

'You have had one of the Miss Forsyths, ' I said. 

'Well--yes, we have, h'and I don't see much harm in her. She'sflighty, but she's young, h'and time will mend that. H'are you closelyh'intimated with the mistress?'

I smiled. 'No, I cannot say that, ' I answered, 'but I hope to be soon. '

He shook his head doubtfully. 'She's no h'ordinary female. Hi'm nogreat lover of the weaker sex, but hi'll say this for Miss Helen, h'andI've known her from the time I took her h'out h'on her first pony, she's a deal more sensibility than many h'of h'us men! I h'often saysto Susan, who h'is a poor h'useless body with a very long tongue, h'andit's h'only the mistress's kindness to keep such h'an h'old potteringbody h'on, for she's h'always making an h'ado about nothing. I says, "Susan, the mistress h'is h'almost h'equal to a master, " and that'ssaying a good deal. She holds herself high, and she's h'impatient likeof women folks; but she has a proper respect for me that has been inthe family so long, and though it is laughable how she thinks she hasme in leading-strings and manages me h'entirely, I h'affords her thatpleasure, h'and goes my h'own way. Ah! She's a fine woman, Miss Helenis!'

With these and similar remarks he beguiled my drive, and though Ismiled at the self-importance of his tone, I could tell that he was anattached and faithful servant. We stopped at length at a gate, drovethrough it up a short avenue of limes, and then came to one of theprettiest old-fashioned farmhouses that I have ever been in. It was along, low gable-roofed house, with latticed casements, andautumn-tinted creepers covering the old grey stone and porch. The doorwas open, and two large dogs darted out to welcome us. When I steppedinside a cheery-looking old woman appeared in a very large cap andapron. 

'Miss Thorn, isn't it, my dear? The mistress was called out on amatter of business, and she asked me to make you comfortable. Comethis way, miss; you'll be glad of a bit of a fire after your colddrive?'

She led me through the square hall, wainscoted up to the ceiling withold oak, and having an oaken staircase with very thick balustrades oneither side going up from the middle of it, into a long, low roomwhich, with crimson druggeting on the floor, and the same colouredcurtains to the windows, looked very cosy and bright in the firelight. 

She left me saying she would bring in tea, and I, seating myself in aneasy chair by the fire, spread out my feet in front of the blaze, andlooked about me curiously. Comfort certainly was more studied thanelegance in this room. No flimsy draperies or works of art adorned thechairs and couches. A small square oak table stood in the centre ofthe room. On it was a beautiful chrysanthemum, some magazines andpapers, and a pair of riding gloves thrown carelessly down. Two largecrimson-covered couches occupied the deep recesses on either side ofthe fire place. A well-filled bookcase stood opposite between thepretty casement windows, and a stand of ferns at the end of the roomwas in front of another window, through which I could catch a glimpseof some distant hills and the setting sun disappearing behind them. The walls, like the hall, were wainscoted with old oak, but somebeautiful water-colours and old china relieved their somewhat sombrehue. 

The old servant soon returned, wheeling in a round table up to thefire, and bringing in a tempting-looking tea with plenty of hot cakesand scones. 

'Help yourself, miss, ' she said, in a motherly sort of tone; 'themistress may be out some time yet. I hope you didn't find the opentrap cold. John, he will have his way sometimes, but I said to him youwould have been better with the closed wagonette. I hope John didn'tmake too free, miss? He has a longer tongue, I tell him, than anywoman's; but he has seen a deal of life! He was London born and bred, and goes up every year to visit his friends there. He's getting oldnow, as I am myself; but though he speaks sharp, he's as easy to bemanaged as a baby. Any one can twist him round with their littlefinger, so long as they just flatter him a bit. '

How I laughed to myself when she left me, and wondered when they bothgot together whose tongue was the longest!

I enjoyed the tea provided for me, and liked the quiet andsolitude--such a contrast to the Forsyths' afternoon meal. Then, as noone came, a sudden longing took possession of me to try my violin. Thedusky twilight, and the fire flickering over the quaint, old-fashionedroom, seemed to bring me into a world of fancy. 

I had my violin with me, as I would never trust my case in any otherhand but mine, and so, slipping off my jacket, I was soon in a dream, playing on and on without a thought of my present surroundings. 

I don't know how long I played, but as the last note died away a briskvoice said from the further side of the room, --

'Bravo! I like to hear any one play without being conscious oflisteners. '

I started. It was Miss Rayner, leaning back in an easy chair, whospoke; but when I apologised for making myself so at home, she saidsharply, 'Tut, child! No company manners here, or I shall wish youaway. Now I want some tea. How long have you been here?'

I told her, and then she said, 'And what do you think of my invitation? Are you pleased to be here?'

'Yes, I think I am, ' I said honestly. 'I was a little shy about it atfirst; but now I have come, it seems so restful and quiet. '

'That's because I was out, ' she said, with a short laugh; 'but I willallow it is a quieter house than the one you have left. When do theyleave for town?'

'To-morrow. '

'And are you longing to be with them?'

There was a quizzical gleam in her eye, as my gaze met hers. 

'No, ' I said a little gravely; 'they would rather be without me, and Ishould not be happy with them. '

'You evidently do not shake in well with them. Ah, well! I will notcatechise you too closely the first evening. I shall soon find outwhat your special fads and crotchets are. Now, would you like to comeupstairs to your room? I dine at half-past seven, and it is nearlyseven now. Have you made friends with Susan? I call her mymaid-of-all-work--she was my mother's maid years ago, and has stuck tome ever since. I have a very small establishment, as you perceive. Susan is house, parlour, and lady's-maid all in one, with only a younggirl to help her. John is coachman, groom, and gardener combined, andan old cook completes our household. '

'But who helps in the--the poultry farm?' I asked, as I followed her upthe old-fashioned staircase. 

'I keep a man and a boy for that part of the business; they sleep outof the house. '

She led me into a pretty little room with a very deep window seat. Itwas furnished simply, but comfortably, though quite devoid of allknick-knacks. 

When I was alone, I just knelt down and asked that even here I might begiven some work to do, and, above all, that I might not be ashamed toown my Master. 

Miss Rayner appeared at dinner in a severe black silk made perfectlyplain; she glanced at my lighter costume as we took our seats at thetable, and said, --

'How many of those flimsy gowns have you brought with you? I told youI should have no company. '

'I have only one other with me, ' I replied meekly. 

'I think girls spend more money on evening dresses than any otherobject, and generally look the worse for them, ' she continued. 'Why onearth women shouldn't have a universal dress suit, like the men, Ican't imagine. '

'You do not mean the same as the men's?' I said, laughing. 

'The same in colour, if not in cut, ' she said briskly. 'Black andwhite would be suitable for young and old, and the variety of facewould be more noticeable, instead of as now, the variety of dress. '

And then she turned to other subjects, giving me an amusing account ofher last visit to Chicago, and the people she had been introduced tothere. 

When dinner was over we went back to the drawing-room, and withoutfurther preface she said, --

'And now just tell me why you are giving my poor dear sister suchtrouble? It's enough to turn her hair grey, from her own account!'

Her tone was mocking, and I hesitated in complying with her request. 

'Are you afraid of me?' she said, with a little laugh, after a minute'ssilence. 

I looked her full in the face. 'No, I don't think I am; but I amafraid you will not understand. '

'My intellect may not be quite so keen and bright as yours, but if youtry to use very simple language, perhaps I may be able to grasp yourmeaning. '

I coloured, and said confusedly, 'I am very sorry I am vexing Mrs. Forsyth so. I did not know when I came to live with General Forsyththat it would be so difficult. I don't care for gaiety, and don't wishto be drawn into it; and they want me to be the same as theirdaughters. It is their kindness that makes it so hard to hold outagainst their wishes. '

'And are you living only to please yourself?'

'I hope not, ' I said slowly, as I took in the drift of her question;'it is because I don't want to live for self that I feel it right toact so. '

Miss Rayner smiled a little contemptuously, I fancied. 

'Oh, you young girls!' was all she said; but her tone silenced me. 

After a few minutes, she said: 'And when did you come to the conclusionthat you had a soul above the frivolities of this world?'

'Does that conclusion seem very absurd to you, Miss Rayner?'

She looked at me with an odd kind of smile. 'I believe you could be alittle spitfire if you liked, ' she said. 'You must remember I havelived a little longer in the world than you have. And I have met withyoung girls of something the same stamp as yourself, who ran away fromhome duties to visit in the slums, and because they despise men of theworld, lavish all their love and adoration on a wishy-washy curate, whovery often encourages them, and then gives them the slip in the end, sending them back to their homes sadder and wiser women. My sister hascause for thankfulness that there is no curate in her parish. '

'Miss Rayner, I don't think I quite deserve that, ' I said. 

She laughed. 'I am very rude and plain-spoken. You must put up withthat if you come to stay with me. I did promise not to catechise youthe first evening, didn't I? But the temptation proves too strong. Ihave had a lot of disagreeable business to-day, and now I feel I wantrelaxation and amusement. '

'Why have _you_ given up going out into society?' I asked. 

'Ah! Now you are turning the tables on me. But I have lived mylife--you have yours yet to come. Can you give me any clear reason whyyou should be different to the Forsyths? Is it a matter of principle?If so, what is the principle?'

'"Be not conformed to this world, "' I said, in a low voice, but asteady one; '"Come out from among them, and be ye separate. " Those aretwo commands I am trying to obey, Miss Rayner. '

'Why?' was the curt inquiry. 

'Because I belong to Christ, and I want to carry out His wishes. '

'I don't think Christ shunned society. If I remember my Bible rightly, He did quite the reverse. '

'He would not have been found in the fashionable Roman Court society, 'I said. 'I don't know much of the world, Miss Rayner; perhaps that iswhy I feel, if I went right into every sort of gaiety I should not beable to stop myself. I know I should become so fascinated andengrossed that I should think of nothing else. Don't you think it veryengrossing? When you went out yourself, didn't you find it so?'

'I don't believe I have been put through my catechism so for years, 'was Miss Rayner's reply. 'I reserve to myself the right of askingquestions. And so you try to make your life one of rigid self-denial?It won't last long, child. You are only human like the rest of us, andthe reaction will come, as I have seen it in scores of cases before. '

I said nothing. 

She continued, after a pause:--

'You can't be happy leading such a life. It is not natural; and itmust be a constant source of fret to yourself and those with whom youlive. '

'But I am very happy, Miss Rayner--I really am. I have what satisfiesmy heart, and any amount of worldly pleasure never does that, does it?It is a difficult life to lead with the Forsyths, but I am helped to"dwell deep, " and I am quite content. '

'And what friends have you?' Miss Rayner asked, her dark, piercing eyesfixed intently on my face. 

'Well, ' I said slowly, 'I have no special friends. I like Nelly andViolet very much, but Nelly has her own friends, and Violet is busywith her lessons. Most of the girls who come to the house of coursefind me rather slow, and leave me alone, but I am getting accustomed tothat. '

'It won't last, ' Miss Rayner said again; and then she asked me to playto her on my violin. 

I did so, and she lay back in her chair, listening with half-closedeyes; but when I put my instrument down I again encountered her earnestgaze. 

'You are a pretty little thing, ' she said abruptly; 'I suppose that isno news to you?'

'I have not often been told so, ' I said, flushing, and half laughing ather bluntness. 

'It is no thanks to you that you are made so, ' she said. 'I have nopatience with people who are possessed with good looks; they invariablytake the credit of their beauty to themselves, and are quiteinsufferable with all their airs and graces. I don't say this is thecase with you, for I have not seen enough of you to tell yet. Now I amgoing to read, so you will be left in peace for a little. Would youlike a magazine?'

There was no more talk between us that night. At half-past ten MissRayner rose and wished me good-night. 

'I breakfast at half-past eight punctually, ' she said; 'so you willlike to retire now, I expect. '

And this I did, wondering, when I reached my room, what it was that soattracted me towards Miss Rayner; for, in spite of her blunt manner andtone, I really had taken a liking to her, and was glad that I was goingto see more of her. 

CHAPTER IX

QUIET DAYS

'The slow, sweet hours that bring us all things good. '--_Tennyson. _

The next morning, after breakfast, Miss Rayner took me all over herchicken farm. It was most interesting to me, as I had never seenanything of the sort before. All the houses and contrivances for thechickens, from the time they left their egg-shells, were so perfect inevery little detail, and the incubators I thought charming. A brood oflittle chicks were just hatched, but I could not help expressing myregret to Miss Rayner that they had no proper mother. 

'They must miss such a lot, ' I said; 'it seems such a desolate state tobe in. '

'We never miss what we have not been accustomed to, ' Miss Rayner saidbriskly. 'Much better have no mother than a bad one, and hens are notbetter than most folks--they very often ill-treat their young. '

I saw, from the way she went about and superintended everything, thather whole heart was with her poultry, and she was one to do all thatcame to her hand both thoroughly and well. Her servants seemed devotedto her, though I heard her scolding her outdoor man so severely that Iwondered he stood it as meekly as he did. 

I soon became quite at home, and enjoyed my new life immensely. I wasleft pretty much to myself in the morning, but in the afternoon MissRayner would often invite me out for a long walk or drive. She rode agreat deal, and persuaded me to accompany her on a very quiet chestnutmare. 

I had taken riding lessons at school, but had not had much opportunityof riding since, and the Forsyths never seemed to have a horse tospare. It was a great pleasure to me now, and I could not but enjoyMiss Rayner's society. She was a cultivated, well-read woman, and herconversation was very different to that to which I had been accustomed. She made me feel my own ignorance on many subjects, and I was glad toread the books and reviews she placed in my hands. 

One evening she had given me a fresh book, dealing with some of thequestions of the present day, and had said that she would like me tostudy it, for the writer was a clever and rising author. 

I read on for some time in silence, and then I put it down. 

'Is it too deep for you?' she asked. 

'No, ' I replied; 'but I don't like it. '

'I am surprised. There is such a decided religious tone in it that Ithought it would just suit you. '

'It is just that tone I don't like. It represents some of the Bibletruths so unfairly. '

'In what way?'

'In speaking of God's justice----'

'Please explain, ' she said, as I faltered. 

'Justice is not cruelty, Miss Rayner. I suppose he holds the sameviews that so many seem to hold. And even in novels now that you getat a circulating library you constantly come across the same thing--akind of contempt for the "old, narrow doctrines, " as they call them, bringing down God's standard to theirs, and condemning what they cannotunderstand. '

Miss Rayner laughed. 

'You are getting hot over their iniquities. I did not know you weresuch a critical young person. '

'I can't bear the Bible being made light of, ' I said. 'They cut awayand put their own interpretation on the most solemn truths. Do youagree with this man, Miss Rayner?'

'In the face of such severe criticism, I should be bold to say I did, 'was the laughing reply; then she added, more seriously, 'I don't reallyknow what I do believe. Perhaps you would be shocked at some of mytheories. I never trouble my head about doctrines; a man's life ismore important than his creed. '

'And what kind of a life do you believe in?' I asked. 

'An upright, honourable life, in which all lying and humbug would notfind a place. A life spent for the good of one's fellow-creatures isthe noblest one, but few attain to that. I think we ought to leavesome the better for our influence when we depart this life. '

'And then?' I asked. 

She shrugged her shoulders. '"Sufficient unto the day is the evilthereof. " The present is what we have to deal with, not the future. Don't look so shocked, child. If you question me so closely, what am Ito do? I am not an unbeliever. I go to church every Sunday morning, and, as you see, I keep up the old custom of family prayers once a day. Don't judge other people as heathen because they may not think exactlythe same as yourself. '

I said no more. I felt too young and inexperienced to argue with awoman of such a stamp as Miss Rayner. She would lean back in herchair, and look and listen to me with an amused twinkle in her eyes;but as for being convinced of the truth by anything that I said, that, I knew, was a moral impossibility. Yet, when I went to my room thatnight, I prayed earnestly for her, and felt more than ever the comfortthat what was impossible to man was easy and possible to God, and theHoly Spirit Himself could convince her of her need of a Saviour. 

I was a little troubled lest, through cowardice, I had not made as gooda use of the opportunity as I might have done; so the next morning, atbreakfast, I said to her, --

'Miss Rayner, I have been thinking over our conversation last night. Do you think doing good to our fellow-creatures is all that Godrequires of us? Is He Himself not to have a place in our life? Whatdo you think of words like these, "Thou hast created all things, andfor Thy pleasure they are and were created"?'

'Now, look here, ' she said good-naturedly, 'I am not going to bepreached to. The chief thing that made me take to you was, that youwere not a prig, with all your extreme devotedness. And I will notenter into religious discussions. I might disturb your faith, and Idon't want to do that. Keep your religion to yourself, and live itout, child, if you want to impress others. I am sick of cant andhumbug--be real and true, and you are sure to commend your views toothers, but you will never do it by preaching at them. '

I coloured up. 'I didn't mean to preach, ' I began. 

'You felt it was on your conscience to say more to me. Oh, I know allabout it! I can read your face like a book, and you took about tenminutes to make up your mind to do it. '

I could not help laughing at her tone, but said no more, as I saw howuseless it would be. 

It was a few days after this that Kenneth made his appearance. He rodeup to the door just as we were sitting down to luncheon. 

'What do you want?' asked Miss Rayner sharply, as she made him welcomeat the table. 'I am not accustomed to visits from you. '

'No, ' Kenneth said, laughing; 'I only came to see how Goody Two-Shoeswas getting on, and whether she wants to come home again. '

'I am very happy here, thank you, ' I said. 

'I was not aware that the arrangement of her affairs was in yourhands, ' Miss Rayner remarked drily. 

Kenneth laughed again good-humouredly. 'Well, you see, my father isaway, and I am acting as his representative. What do you think of her, aunt? Has she been trying to convert you yet?'

Miss Rayner's eyes sparkled a little as she looked across at me. 'I amnot going to tell tales, ' she said. 'We understand each other, Ithink--at any rate, we are trying to. '

'I am afraid she has not had sufficient scope at our house, for we aretoo many for her, ' Kenneth pursued; 'the only one who was amenable toher influence was Captain Gates. I really believe he was quitewilling, only she wouldn't do it for him, when it came to the point. '

'Oh, hush, Kenneth!' I exclaimed. 'Please don't talk so; you know howI dislike it. '

'I am afraid Gates has lost his chance, ' Kenneth continued, with one ofhis provoking smiles. 'I met him last week, Goody, and what do youthink he was doing? Now don't look so indifferent, for, remember, ifhe goes to the dogs, it will be you who has driven him there. He waspacking his things up for Monte Carlo. And he is going to propose tothe first heiress that he comes across, for he is desperately hard upjust now. '

I felt my cheeks get hot, and I knew that Miss Rayner's eyes werescanning me closely. 

'How is Violet?' I asked. 'Isn't she feeling rather lonely?'

'I never set eyes on her, ' was the brotherly reply, 'except that beforeI got off this morning she came rushing out with all sorts of messagesto you. I told her I shouldn't remember half. One was that she wantedyou back, I think; the other, that Miss Graham had taken your preciousSunday class, and had found it so entertaining that she was going totry it again. '

'Oh, I am so glad!' I exclaimed. 'I was hoping she would; and is shegoing to give Jim a reading-lesson in the week, do you know?'

'That I can't tell you. '

After luncheon, Miss Rayner went down to the village on some errand, and then Kenneth inquired, 'Is she treating you well?'

'Of course, ' I replied; 'she is most kind, and I am enjoying myselfvery much. '

'What on earth do you do with yourself all day in this out-of-the-wayhole? Have you seen a single visitor since you have been here?'

'Not one, ' I said, laughing; 'and for myself, I would just as soon bewithout them. '

'We are awfully slow at home just now, ' Kenneth said; 'Hugh is asgrumpy and cross as two sticks. I dine out whenever I can, and shooteverything I come across in the day-time. I even condescend torabbits, if there's nothing better on hand. I think we shall have thehouse pretty full when the girls come back. Amongst other people, Hughis asking a new crony of his, some scientific fellow whom he ravesabout. '

'I never heard him rave about anybody or anything!' I remarked. 

'It is raving for him, when he tells you that his chum is thought noend of by different celebrities, and that he considers it an honour tohave him under our unworthy roof--or words to that effect. Mother willbe delighted to have him, as he is unmarried, and has a big estatesomewhere. '

'Have you heard from Nelly?' I asked, changing the subject, as I didnot like his sneering tone. 

'Had a letter from her yesterday; she and Constance are going at itnight and day. I say, Goody, how much longer are you going to stayhere? Couldn't you tell the aunt you have had enough of it, and comeback? It is too slow for anything just now. I promise you some nicelittle treats if you come. We will go up the river--you and I--and weshall have it all our own way, for there will be nobody to interferewith us. '

'I have promised to stay here till Mrs. Forsyth comes back, ' I said. 

'Oh, bother your promise! Say you found it too slow, and couldn'tstand it any longer. '

'But I don't find it slow, ' I said, looking at him full in the face. 'I think I like Miss Rayner's society better than yours. '

Kenneth looked quite taken aback at first, and then we both laughedtogether. 

'It's true, ' I persisted. 

'I don't believe it; I shall give you a dose of my society to-day, forI shall stay on to dinner here. What shall we do this afternoon?'

'Miss Rayner does not expect you to stay on, ' I said, 'for she wishedyou good-bye before she went out just now. '

'I know she did, but I intend to stay, all the same. '

And this he did, telling Miss Rayner when she came in that there was nodinner at home, Hugh was in town, and he was sure she would offer himfurther hospitality. 

Kenneth could be very amusing when he liked, and he certainly brought afresh element into our quiet life. He asked me to play on my violinafter dinner, and when I had finished he turned to Miss Rayner andsaid, 'That is Goody's strong forte--that instrument of hers. Shecould charm a man's soul away by some of her strains!' And then hetook his leave. 

There was silence between us for some time after his departure. Ithought Miss Rayner was reading, and though I was professedly doing thesame, my thoughts kept wandering off to Captain Gates. I wondered if Iwas responsible for his going back to his old reckless life. He hadtold me once what a snare gambling had been to him, and how much hewanted to give it up. This visit to Monte Carlo would plunge him intothe midst of it again. 

I was startled out of my reverie by Miss Rayner's voice saying, 'Whatpictures are you seeing in the fire, child?'

I looked up. 'I was only thinking, ' I said. 

'So I suppose. Who is this Captain Gates that Kenneth mentioned?'

I coloured. How often she seemed to read my thoughts! 'A friend ofKenneth who often comes to stay with the Forsyths. '

'And what has he to do with you, or you with him?'

I hesitated, then said in a low voice, 'He wanted me to marry him, andI couldn't!'

'Why not?'

'I--I didn't care enough for him, and we should not have suited eachother. He leads a very gay life. '

'But I suppose he vowed he would give all that up?'

'Yes, he did; but I don't think he would have done so. '

And then, encouraged by a softening in her tone and manner, I told MissRayner all, asking her at the end if she did not think I had actedrightly. 

'Quite right, ' she said emphatically; 'but be thankful you were nothead over ears in love with him, for your decision would have cost yousomething then. '

She spoke with such intense feeling that I could not help thinkingthere must be something behind her words, especially when she continuedin low, earnest tones: 'Better go through life lonely and single, thantie yourself to a man whose aim and object in life is directly contraryto yours. There can be only misery for both if you act otherwise. Andcut the connection at once for his sake, more than for your own. It isonly prolonging the agony. '

I did not speak, and then, with a short laugh, Miss Rayner seemed torecover herself. 'What am I saying? Perhaps some day I may tell you achapter in my life, child--but not now. You have not had to go throughsuch a sharp ordeal as I have. I am afraid there is nothing for it buta curate for you. Holding your present views, you would find nopleasure in a man of the world. '

'Surely every one is not bound to have a husband?' I said, halflaughing, half vexed with her light, mocking tone. 

'I should say you were sure to have one, ' she retorted; 'perhaps yourviews will melt away when you come across some one that you reallyfancy. '

I shook my head, but dropped the subject, wondering, with a girlishcuriosity, what Miss Rayner's life story was. 

CHAPTER X

LONG AGO

 'Ah! changeless through the changing vein The ghostly whisper rings between The dark refrain of "might have been. "'

Circumstances helped to bring about the recital of that story soonerthan I had expected. About ten days later, I started out one afternoonwith Miss Rayner for a ride. I was not on the chestnut mare this time, but on Rawdon, Miss Rayner's special favourite, and the one she alwaysrode herself. It was a mark of great favour her allowing me to try him. 

It was a pleasant day for a ride, and when we got up on a bit of themoor it delighted me. Suddenly, without any warning, a pack of houndsdashed by, followed closely by the huntsmen. 'Pull your horse in, child!' Miss Rayner exclaimed excitedly; 'he is an old hunter. '

It was easy to say, but quite impossible, I found, to act upon. Rawdonthrew up his head, his nostrils quivering with excitement, and thenbolted, and I found myself utterly powerless to check his course. 

'Keep your seat, and give him his head, ' were the words I heard fromMiss Rayner as I rapidly left her in the distance. 

'And keep cool, ' I said to myself, knowing I should require all mynerve. In a few minutes I was in the midst of the hunt, to my greatperplexity, and, passing most of the riders, Rawdon galloped on to thefront. It had been a fortunate thing for me that the bit of moor wewere on was on the level; but now I saw, to my consternation, thehounds were making for some fields adjoining, and Rawdon was carryingme straight towards a five-barred gate. I had practised leaps in ariding-school, but never since, and my heart sank within me. I put upa quick prayer as we reached it; Rawdon took it without the slightestdifficulty, and to my surprise I found myself still on his back. 

'It will be the finish at that next copse, I expect, ' a gentlemancalled out excitedly, as his horse vainly tried to keep up with mine. 'Look out for that hedge in front, ' he added; 'it's a nasty leap--thereis a wide ditch the other side. '

What could I say or do? He evidently did not see that my horse hadobtained complete mastery of me. I set my teeth, and drew my breath aswe approached it. Was I going to be carried over this in safety?

A moment later, and, giddy and confused, I found myself not only over, but brought to a dead stop by Rawdon, who, quivering all over withexcitement, had brought me right to the finish; only three othergentlemen were there besides the master of the hounds. I felt in anextremely awkward position. One of them, Sir Charles Courtenay, Islightly knew, as he was a great friend of General Forsyth. When herecognised me, he came forward at once. 

'Miss Thorn, I congratulate you. This is the first meet of the season, and we have had the most splendid run, though a long one. Have youever received a brush before?'

'It is all a mistake my being here, ' I said with a little laugh, as Irealized the humorous side of the situation. 'I am not one of yournumber; I was taking a quiet ride on the moor with a friend, when myhorse, an old hunter, bolted with me, and has carried me here overevery obstacle, in spite of my wishes. '

'It is a good horse, but a good rider too, ' said the old gentleman. 'Very few ladies would have taken that last leap. Let me introduce themaster of the hounds to you. '

The introduction took place, and, in spite of my protestations, thebrush was presented, and then, one by one, other riders came upon thescene. It was a great relief to me when, turning my horse round, Icame face to face with Kenneth. 

'Goody Two-Shoes! What on earth are you doing here? Was it you, then, that took the lead so? We couldn't imagine what lady it was! I thinkI must be dreaming. ' And Kenneth really looked as if he could notbelieve his eyes. 

I explained it all hastily, adding, 'Do ride back with me away from allthese people to meet Miss Rayner. She will be anxious about me. '

But Kenneth only shook his head with mock solemnity. 'Oh! Goody, Goody, I'm afraid you are a sad humbug! You won't make everybodybelieve that patched-up story. You didn't bargain for meeting me here. No wonder you don't want to come back to us just yet! I must write andtell the girls you are enjoying yourself in the hunting-field. Do youknow that it is one of the governor's fads that girls are out of placein a hunt? Nell has always been refused permission to come with me. It will be amusing when this gets to the governor's ears! Coming offby yourself on the sly, and getting the brush!'

And Kenneth gave a delighted chuckle at the end of his speech. 

I rode straight away from him without a word, feeling ready to cry withvexation. Then, to my great delight, Miss Rayner rode up. Her eyeswere twinkling with suppressed mirth. 

'My dear girl, I am afraid Rawdon has given you a fright. I watchedyou over the gate and hedge; you took them well. I almost wished to bein your place, though my hunting days are over. I am proud of Rawdon!'

'I want to get away, Miss Rayner, ' I said imploringly. 

She looked at me, and was about to speak, when a gentleman rode up toher. 'Miss Rayner, I haven't seen you for years. I am glad to meetyou in the field again. '

'Like this young lady who is staying with me, I have come into itaccidentally. We were out riding, when her horse bolted with her, andI have only just come upon the scene. I have given up hunting for manyyears now. Let me introduce you, Miss Thorn; this is Colonel Hawkes, an old friend. '

For some minutes he and Miss Rayner carried on an animated conversationwith one another. They seemed to have known each other in the pastvery intimately. 

Presently Miss Rayner asked, --

'And where are you staying now?'

He hesitated; then said, slowly, 'With Ratcliffe--Charlie Ratcliffe. You remember him?'

Miss Rayner turned white to her lips; then said, in a cold, hard voice, 'I thought he was in the wilds of Africa?'

'He returned the end of last year. He finished the piece of work outthere so satisfactorily for the Government that they want to send himout to another part, but he has refused. He says he wants to settledown quietly now, and has just bought a house somewhere in Surrey. Heis a good fellow, but odd, you know. Since his return he has beenslumming in the East End of London like a parson. I am staying withhim at his chambers in town. We are such very old chums that I put upwith his religious crotchets. He doesn't force them down one's throat, that's one comfort, and, I'm bound to admit, he lives them out. '

Miss Rayner changed the subject, and a few minutes after we rode away, very silent both of us, and we hardly exchanged a word till we reachedhome. All the evening Miss Rayner was very subdued and unlike herself. Susan had very truly described her to me as 'a fresh breeze coming inand out. ' From the minute she set foot in a place, you were consciousof her cheery presence. Sometimes whistling to her dogs, chattingbriskly to any in her path, and always full of energy and spirit; butnow she sat with a dreamy, absent look in her eyes, and started if Iaddressed her on any topic. Later in the evening, as we sat over thedrawing-room fire with our books, she suddenly looked up and said, 'Play to me, child; I am out of sorts. Colonel Hawkes brought up oldscenes and memories which are best forgotten. Your music has always asoothing effect on me. '

I took my violin up, and leaning against the mantle-piece opposite toher, I began to play in the firelight. I played, as I loved to play, without notes before me, and soon I was in a dream myself. Myfavourite verse running through my head, I sought to bring it out of myviolin, and as the last note died away I became conscious that MissRayner's eyes were glistening with tears. Knowing how utterly devoidof sentiment she generally seemed, I was the more surprised, only, ofcourse, did not let her see I had noticed it. 

'You have never played that before, ' she said brusquely, as sherecovered her composure. 

'And I don't know that I could play it again, ' I said. 'I never get itjust the same. I was trying to bring out a thought that I am very fondof. '

'And what thought is that?'

'Do you know a verse like this?

 "These surface troubles come and go, Like rufflings of the sea; The deeper depth is out of reach To all, my God, but Thee. "

There are two words in Jeremiah that I try and take for my life'smotto: "Dwell deep. " I love to bring it out of my violin. '

Miss Rayner smiled. 'I should not have thought there had been muchoccasion in your life at present for you to put those words intopractice. '

I was silent. No doubt my small troubles seemed very insignificant toher who had perhaps seen and gone through far heavier ones herself. 

After a little, she said thoughtfully, as she gazed into the glowingcoals before her, 'One sometimes wonders, if certain passages in ourlives were given us again, whether we would act differently; but I aminclined to think as a rule we should not. ' Then, turning to meabruptly, she said, 'Would you like to hear why I have never married?I am not ashamed of anything--there is no need why you should notknow--only I do not care to discuss bygone tales too often; so I shallnot expect you to refer to it again. I was engaged to CharlesRatcliffe for six years. He, Colonel Hawkes, and I were alwaystogether; we hunted, danced, and amused ourselves as the rest of theworld. Charlie--Mr. Ratcliffe--was then a struggling young barrister, and we waited for more prosperous times. About a year before we wereto have been married, he'--she paused and gave a hard little laugh, 'well--he got "converted, " as you would express it. I tried to laughhim out of it at first, but it was of no use; he gradually withdrewfrom amusements, and tried to make me do the same. We pulled togethera little while longer, and then I saw it wouldn't do, and I told himso. "How can two walk together, except they be agreed?" There is notruer verse than that in the Bible. And so we parted, and I have neverseen him from that day to this. '

'I am so sorry!' I murmured, as she paused as abruptly as she commenced. 

'Oh, I am not an object of pity, I assure you!' she said, laughing: 'itwas odd running up against Colonel Hawkes to-day. Did you see Kenneththere, too? I fancied I saw him in the distance. '

'Yes, ' I said, seeing she wished to turn to other subjects; 'I amafraid he will never let me forget it. I wish he were not such atease. He would misunderstand me, or pretend to do so. I shall nothear the last of it for a long time, I know. '

Miss Rayner laughed. 'I suppose he could not understand seeing youacting such a different rôle from your usual one. Never mind, child. Words do not break bones. Let him have the enjoyment of it. Perhapsthis afternoon's exploit may have given you a taste for thehunting-field? Is it so?'

I shook my head. 'No, I don't think I shall want to mount Rawdon againwhile I am here. I could never trust him. '

That night I could not sleep, or get Miss Rayner's story out of myhead. She only gave me the bare facts, but I could supply much thatwas not told. I could see that all her likes and dislikes were strongones. Her affection for him had been no light girlish fancy, but haddeepened, I could not help thinking, since separation. I wondered ifhe still thought of her, and whether the blank had been as great in hislife as in hers. But then I remembered that he had what she had not--asatisfied soul and an unseen personal Friend. I felt a great pity forher. I knew from what I had heard from others that she had withdrawnherself from society for many years, and rightly conjectured that whenthe one she really cared about was no longer to be met there, it failedto satisfy or amuse her. And I longed that even yet she might find thesame Saviour as he had, and become satisfied in the same way. Earnestly did I pray that she might be led to seek for this, and thatif it was God's will that earthly happiness should be denied her, shestill might be filled with the joy and peace 'which passesunderstanding' from above. 

CHAPTER XI

A DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE

 'And I should fear, but lo! amid the press, The whirl and hum and pressure of my day, I hear Thy garments sweep, Thy seamless dress, And close beside my work and weariness Discern Thy gracious form, not far away, But very near, O Lord, to help and bless. '--_Susan Coolidge. _

My visit to Miss Rayner now drew to a close. I was really sorry toleave her, and I think she was sorry to part with me. It was a strangefriendship between us. She was far beyond me in knowledge of the worldand in intellect, and yet I know she said things to me that she wouldnot say to any one else. She would laugh at me, tease me, and neverspare my blushes of embarrassment and discomfiture; but as she waswishing me good-bye the last afternoon, she put both her hands on myshoulders and stood looking down upon me with a strange softening offace and manner. 'I have liked having you here, child; I knew I shouldfrom the first moment I saw you, and I shall miss you after you havegone. But I do not mean to lose sight of you, and when you wantadvice, --or shall I say comfort?--come over and take advantage of myquiet resting-place here to soothe and solace yourself. It is strangeadvice to give you, but though I may have chaffed you about yourreligious views, keep a firm grip of them, and go on your own waystraight-forward, without bending or relaxing in the slightest. Ibelieve you have got hold of the real thing, and if you have, I shouldthink it was worth keeping. '

Tears were in my eyes, and I laid my hand on her arm. 'I am prayingthat you may find it too, Miss Rayner--or rather Him, for it is ChristHimself that fills my life. '

She stooped and kissed me, but did not say another word, only there wasa wistful look in her eyes that haunted me for long afterwards. OldJohn had his say, too, when parting with me at the station: 'I hope youhave h'enjoyed your visit, miss, and have had an h'edifying time; themistress wants some one of her h'own sex to talk to h'on h'occasions, though, h'as I h'often say, she can hold her h'equal with h'any man ifshe chooses. H'and h'if I make bold to say so, h'if you want a mounth'at h'any time, Rawdon shall be h'at your disposal; you did him creditthe h'other day with the hounds, h'and I shall never raise h'anyh'objection to h'allowing you to ride him!'

It was certainly a different kind of life to which I returned. Thehouse was full of visitors, and all chance of quiet seemed gone. Ithink Violet and Nelly were genuinely glad to see me. Kenneth, ofcourse, did not spare me; he coloured the story so of the way I hadjoined the hounds, as to make General Forsyth quite vexed, and Mrs. Forsyth did not seem to believe my true version of it. 

'Why do you love to make people uncomfortable if you can?' I said indesperation to him, after he had been chaffing me unmercifully on thesame subject before a lot of people in the drawing-room one afternoon. 

'Because it is my nature to, I suppose, ' he retorted. 'I don't thinkanything would make you uncomfortable, Goody! You go serenely on yourway, wrapped in a cloak of supreme self-content and satisfaction. Except for bringing a little extra pink colour into your cheeks, whichI like to see, no words of mine can ever stir you. '

'I have feelings, ' I said, 'though I do try not to show them. I am nota piece of stone. And if I did show them, you would be the first toblame me for it. '

'I dare say I should, for it would be highly inconsistent with theprofession that you make to lose your temper like ordinary mortals. '

'So that I cannot act rightly in any case in your eyes, ' I said, halflaughing, half vexed. 'I am just good as a kind of target that you canfire off volleys of ridicule at: if I resent it, it will be showinganger; if I bear it, it will be because I am "wrapped in a cloak ofsupreme self-content and satisfaction. "'

'Upon my word, Goody, I think you are showing too much feeling now, 'was the laughing rejoinder; 'I think I must make myself scarce till youare calmer. ' And he walked away and left me. He was the only one ofthe Forsyths that I did not quite understand. No one said unkinderthings to my face than he did, and yet behind my back I knew that manya time he had made things smoother for me with his parents. He laughedand scoffed openly at the weaknesses and insincerity of society, yetmingled freely in it, and was a favourite wherever he went. I felt noeye in the household was so keen as his on my words and actions; he wasalways wanting me to do things for him and go to places with him; yetwhen I was with him he would be unsparing in his scoffing remarks onany subject that would touch me most deeply. I found it best to takeall he said as quietly as possible, only now and then protesting, as Ihad done upon this afternoon. 

Hugh's friend, a Mr. Stanton, arrived a week after my return. He wasrather a grave-looking man, tall and broad-shouldered, with dark eyeswhich seemed quick to take in every one and everything, and yet whichhad a kindly gleam in them. 

We did not see much of him, for Hugh and he spent most of their days inthe study together; but he proved very entertaining in the evening, forhe had travelled a great deal and could talk well, and somehow or otherwould raise the conversation to a higher level than usual. GeneralForsyth would discuss questions of the day with him, with a keenerinterest than was his custom with a younger man; and Nelly camegushingly to confide in me the first night of his arrival: 'I like himawfully, Hilda! He is so different to most of Hugh's friends. Theyseem so hard and cynical, and have such a contempt for women, I alwaysfancy. Mr. Stanton takes as much trouble to talk to me as he does tofather, and he is awfully good-looking!'

One evening, soon after he arrived, General and Mrs. Forsyth andConstance wore dining out. A Miss Willoughby and her brother werestaying in the house; they were cousins of the Forsyths, and hadreturned from London with them, but I had always kept away from them, as Miss Willoughby's manner and ways grated on me. She seemed utterlydevoid of all religion, and was always ready to scoff and jeer atserious subjects. She was a clever woman of the world, and looked uponme as a mere child. 

As we were in the drawing-room together, before the gentlemen joined usafter dinner, she called to me from her seat by the fire, 'Come here, you little piece of innocence, I want to talk to you; why do you alwayscreep into a remote corner of the room away from everybody? Is itmodesty, or misanthropy, that drives you from your fellow-creatures?'

'Neither, ' I said, as I slowly moved towards the fireplace and took aseat near her. 'Nelly was entertaining you, so you did not require me. '

'But I do want you. I think you could be far more entertaining thanNelly here, because you have taken up an original rôle, and I likeoriginality. '

I made no reply. There was a mischievous light in her eyes whichwarned me she meant to enjoy herself at my expense. 

She lay back in her chair, put up her pince-nez, and regarded me forsome minutes in silence. Then she gave a mock sigh. 

'I don't see the halo, Nelly; it ought to be there--round her head, youknow. I hope she isn't a sham saint!'

'You shall not tease her, ' Nelly said warmly; 'she gets quite enough ofthat from Kenneth without your taking it up. '

'My dear child, I have no intention of teasing her. I would notpresume to do so on such short acquaintance. Beyond "Good-night" and"Good-morning, " I don't believe Miss Thorn and I have exchanged half adozen words. We are going to converse agreeably together now, if youwill allow us. '

'I don't think we shall find that we have much in common, MissWilloughby, ' I said, trying to speak pleasantly. 

'I dare say not. I am a wicked sinner according to your standard, andyou are a righteous saint; but may not sinners sometimes speak tosaints? How else are they to be made better, "I want to know, " as theAmericans say? Do you attend chapel, Miss Thorn?'

'No, ' I answered a little shortly. 

'I went into a chapel once, ' she pursued, looking gravely at me, 'andthere was a revival going on, I was told. That is what led me inthere--I wanted to see a revival! After the sermon was over, an oldwhite-haired man came stumbling into the seat where I was, and sat downbeside me. "Young pusson, " he said, "do you want to be convarted?""What does it feel like?" I asked. He rose up, and stood swelling outhis waistcoat visibly. "It feels as if earth can't contain yer attimes, and 'even's only big enough for yer. " "Thank you, " I said; "Ishouldn't care to feel that size. Earth is big enough for me atpresent, " and I walked out. '

A burst of laughter from behind announced that the gentlemen hadentered the room. Kenneth came up to us, and planted himself on thehearthrug in front of us. 

'Are you treating Goody Two-Shoes to one of your stories?' he asked. 

'We are having a very serious conversation, ' said Miss Willoughby, inher clear, loud voice, 'and do not wish to be interrupted. Now, MissThorn, is your experience like that of the old chapel saint? I havealways heard that the godly were very big in their own estimation, butnever quite so big as that I How big do you feel? Tell us. I have afancy, if I were to try to attain to it, that it would be the old fableof the toad and the ox again being enacted. What is your opinion?'

'It is not a subject for jesting, ' I said gravely; and I rose from myseat to move away. She laughingly caught hold of both my hands anddetained me. 

'Now you are my prisoner, and I shall not let you escape till you haveanswered a few questions. I have been doing my best to becomeacquainted with you, but you listen and reply in monosyllables, whichis most unsociable. You leave me to do all the talking, and I want tohear your side of the question. Is she always so silent, Kenneth?'

'Silence marks her displeasure, ' Kenneth replied, laughing. 

'I don't like sulky natures, ' Miss Willoughby went on provokingly, without giving me time to speak. 'I don't think she is shy, and I havesaid nothing to displease her. My object has been to become friendswith her, but I'm afraid she thinks me too unworthy of her friendship. Now, Miss Thorn, --what a baby face it is, to be sure!--look up andspeak. You don't seem so glib on the subject as you ought to be. Whatis "conversion"? Enlighten us. '

I looked up at my tormentor. 'You will find the best definition of itin the dictionary, if you are anxious to know, ' I said. 

'That is evading my question. I begin to think you have a good deal ofcowardice in your composition. You are afraid to show your colours. Now I am going to ask you a straightforward question, and I expect astraightforward reply. Are you converted?'

Hugh and Mr. Stanton at this juncture joined our group, and there was asudden lull in the conversation. Miss Willoughby, withoutrelinquishing her hold of me, turned towards them with a face brimfulof fun. 

'It's a case being tried, ' she said to them. 'I am cross-examining awitness. '

'A prisoner, I should say, ' observed Hugh drily. 

'I shall not run away, Miss Willoughby, ' I said, trying to speakamicably. 

She dropped my hands at once, and I hoped the subject would be changed;but such was not her intention. 

'I am waiting for your answer, ' she pursued. 'Are you converted?'

I held my head erect and looked her straight in the face. 'Yes, I am. '

'Good! When were you converted? No hesitation. You are bound inhonour not to run away from me, and I have several more questions yetto ask. '

'About six months ago in London, ' My tone was grave. I did not knowhow this was going to end. 

'Describe the process. '

'That I refuse to do, Miss Willoughby. '

'Then I shall not believe in you, for I expect you can't do it. And itis a selfish, unkind spirit to refuse to enlighten an inquirer. My oldchapel friend was far kinder. You good people say conversion is ablessing; yet, when I want to know how to get it, you refuse to assistme. '

'If you want to know the way, the Bible will show you, ' I said in a lowvoice. 

'The Bible! I heard a clergyman say once that the Bible did not teachconversion!'

'But our Lord did. "Except ye be converted, and become as littlechildren, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. "'

It was Mr. Stanton who spoke, and every one looked up astonished. 

'Do you know all about these things, Mr. Stanton?' questioned MissWilloughby, as she looked at him curiously. 

'I am glad to say I do, ' he replied, 'and shall be pleased at any timeto have a quiet talk with you about them. '

She shrugged her shoulders with a comic look of dismay at Kenneth. 'Helooks as if he could be aggressive--it's a revelation to me; I cannotget over it! Let us have some music to refresh us after such topics!'

She moved across to the piano, and left me in peace for the remainderof the evening. 

CHAPTER XII

A TEST

 'As woods, when shaken by the breeze, Take deeper, firmer root; As winter's frosts but make the trees Abound in summer fruit; So every bitter pang and throe That Christian firmness tries, But nerves us for our work below, And forms us for the skies. '--_Henry Francis Lyte. _

It was not to be wondered at that my thoughts dwelt much upon Mr. Stanton for the next few days. It was so strange to feel that therewas another now in the house who was a follower of Christ, and Iwondered if he would have a good influence over Hugh. 

One afternoon I was coming back from the village, where I had been togive Jim his reading lesson, when Mr. Stanton overtook me, and wewalked home together. I had never as yet seen him alone, and felt alittle shy of him; but he soon made me feel at ease by his readysympathy, and I found myself telling him of my different interests inthe village. And then he presently said, 'Do you find your lifedifficult at times in such surroundings?'

'Sometimes I do, ' I responded, 'but never too difficult. '

'No, ' he said; 'we are never placed in circumstances where it isimpossible to serve our Master. I sometimes wish a little more of themartial spirit could be instilled into many Christians. A true soldierdoes not shirk or shrink from the front in battle, but a Christian isvery apt to hide his colours if he gets upon the enemy's ground. '

'It is a puzzle to me sometimes, ' I said, 'when it is best to keepsilent and when to speak. One's life ought to tell most amongstunconverted people, and yet that tempts one sometimes to hide one'slight. It is easy to go on one's way quietly without saying a word toany one, but perhaps it is not being faithful. What do you think aboutit, Mr. Stanton?'

'I think, ' he said, 'if we are living close to the Master, He willnever leave us in doubt as to when the opportunity for speaking occurs. If we are ready and waiting on Him, we shall be led to do the rightthing. Many good people do more harm than good by making up theirminds that they are bound to deliver a message, whether the occasionwarrants it or not. And then it is often done in their own strength, and not in the power of the Spirit. I think the answer to all suchdifficulties is: Live close to Christ, and let Him give you yourorders--no one else. The longer I live, the more strongly I feel howuseless it is to go by other Christians' experiences. God leads us allin different ways. Let us strive to learn the sound of His slightestwhisper, and take His Word only as our guide. We cannot go wrong then. '

We talked on till we reached home. I could not help feeling thecomfort of having some one to speak to on the subjects that were sodear to me. I had had so few to help or advise me, and though I knewthe truth of what Mr. Stanton said, that we could not frame our livesby others' experiences, yet, as a young Christian, I felt refreshed andstrengthened by his words. When I said something of this sort to him, he smiled. 

'You have not suffered by the loneliness of your position, Miss Thorn;it has only brought you to know Christ more intimately, and to leanupon Him harder. I have seen a good deal of young Christians pinningtheir faith to a human being: in some cases a friend who has been themeans of their conversion, or a favourite preacher. It is natural, butSatan often uses it as a snare. The Master is not appealed to so oftenas the friend. He sinks into the background, and when the friend isremoved they feel utterly stranded, and in some cases fall back intheir Christian life. '

When we reached the house, we found every one in the drawing-room attea. Miss Willoughby was in high spirits. She was organizing sometableaux that the Forsyths were trying to get up, and was pressingevery one into her service. 

'Now, Hilda Thorn, ' she said laughingly, as I entered the room, 'I amgoing to ask you a great favour. Don't purse up that little mouth ofyours in anticipation. It is nothing sinful, upon my honour it is not. '

'You shall not torment her till she has had a cup of tea, ' said Nellygood-naturedly. 'Come and sit down by me, Hilda. '

'Will you give her plenty of sugar then, please, Mrs. Forsyth?' MissWilloughby pursued; 'I want her temper sweetened. '

'I don't think she possesses a temper, ' put in Kenneth. 'I know for afact that I often lose mine in trying to make her lose hers!'

'If she never loses it, she must have it in her possession, ' said MissWilloughby drily; and every one laughed. 

'What is it you want?' I asked a few moments after, having disposed ofmy tea. 

'Just at present we want a little soothing. There is an east windto-day, and not being a piece of perfection like yourself, I feel onedge! I have not been treated well. I had my eye on Mr. Stanton forKing Arthur, and Hugh tells me they are dining in town on the 6th, which is the date we have fixed. I suspect they have arranged itbetween them. Then Constance and I want to pose for the samecharacter; she thinks she is better suited to it than I, and she likesher own way. I think the contrary, and I like mine. And the fact isthat I've been told that you are a great violinist--"Music hath powerto soothe the savage breast. " Will you do us the favour of playing tous now? We shall feel more peaceably disposed towards each otherafterwards, I know. '

I willingly complied, and played one thing after another. When I putdown my violin, I saw Miss Willoughby give an approving nod towardsMrs. Forsyth, and then she said, 'Thank you--that is a great treat. Now I feel at peace with all mankind; do you?'

'I think I generally do, ' I replied. 

'Well, now, what I want to ask you is this, --and I am sure you will notbe so ill-natured as to refuse, --would you mind playing a little likethat just behind a screen for us? You won't be seen at all, and no onewill know who it is. Nelly says you have scruples about taking part intableaux; but of course this could not be an objection. '

Miss Willoughby dropped the half-mocking tone in which she usuallyaddressed me, and for an instant I felt I could not refuse. Nelly sawmy hesitation, and took advantage of it. 'Do say "Yes, " Hilda; we wanta violin, and Violet does play so atrociously; there is no one abouthere that can do it as well as you. It will only be for about tenminutes. '

'Why do you want it?' I asked. 

'I will tell you, ' said Kenneth; 'we are to have some moving tableaux, illustrating certain pithy sayings. Miss Willoughby has mentioned theone we want you for, --"Music hath charms, " etc. I think I am to poseas one of the villains. We are divided as to whether it is to be aduel or a cold-blooded murder; but I know my part is to transform myface from that in which diabolical hatred and fiendish rage isdepicted, into a gradual state of simpering, smiling imbecility, and Ithink the curtain will fall upon me and my rival locked in each other'sarms, shedding maudlin tears of love into our respective shirt-fronts!'

'The moral is so awfully good, ' urged Nelly; 'do be obliging just thisonce, Hilda. '

'Of course she is going to do it, ' said Miss Willoughby. 

'I will give you an answer to-morrow, ' I said slowly, and taking up myhat and cloak I left the room. 

It was hard sometimes to keep clear of the gaiety around me, and thiswas one of the cases in which I much wished for advice. I feltinclined to appeal to Mr. Stanton; he had stood a little apart from theothers talking to General Forsyth, but I felt sure that he had beenwithin earshot of the whole conversation. Yet his words that afternooncame back to me. I must get my orders from my Master, and not fromhim. And, as so often before, I went down on my knees in my room, andwith my Bible before me sought the advice I needed. 

I felt, when I at length rose, that I was best out of it altogether. Iknew my wish to oblige them and show them that I had no ill-feelingabout it might land me into further difficulties. It would be the thinend of the wedge. And though I dreaded the scoffing remarks of MissWilloughby, and knew she would be really put out by my refusal, my mindwas quite made up, and meeting her on the stairs going down to dinnertwo hours later, I told her I could not do it. 

She only laughed at me. 'Nonsense, child! you will think better of it;don't be in such a hurry to refuse. ' Then, drawing my arm within hers, she went on in a coaxing tone as we descended the stairs together: 'Ihave taken a liking to you, Hilda, for I feel you have a true ringabout you. I am afraid I am a dreadful tease, but I tell you honestlyI admire and respect your religious views. Much better be one thing orthe other--and there is no uncertain sound about you. But don't youthink it a pity in the present instance if, in your mistaken zeal, youwould lose the opportunity of rendering us a little service, and socommending your religion practically to us? I was talking to agentleman the other day who said, "What I object to so much in theseso-called good people is their extreme selfishness and indifference tothe likes and dislikes of those with whom they live; good nature andthe ordinary common little courtesies of life seem altogether lackingin their composition. " This isn't much we are asking of you, and Idon't think you will refuse. Five minutes only we want from you. Youneedn't be present at the tableaux at all; people will think it is somehired musician in the background, and you can escape to your roomimmediately afterwards. If you refuse, do you think it will bringcredit on your religion? It's the only favour I have ever asked ofyou, and it is such a little kindness to do. '

It was hard, in the face of this, to adhere to my resolve. If I hadnot come straight from prayer, I don't believe I could have withstoodher. 

'I am afraid you will think me very disagreeable, ' I said as gently asI could; 'but I have thought over it, and have made up my mind that itis best for me not to take part in the tableaux at all. I think with alittle practice Violet will do what you require. '

Miss Willoughby's face was not a pleasant one to see when she saw Ireally was in earnest. She dropped my arm at once, and seeing Kennethhovering about in the hall she went up to him, 'Take me out into thebalcony; I want a change of atmosphere. Your converted people are allalike. A nasty, spiteful, ill-natured set of canting hypocrites!'

'It's war to the knife between you two now, ' whispered Kenneth to me aswe went in to dinner; 'and I warn you she will give you no quarter. She is not accustomed to have her plans thwarted. You had better givein!'

I wondered why Miss Willoughby should have set her heart so upon myhelping them; but that night, when I went to bed, I was enlightened. 

Miss Graham tapped at my door, and asked if she might come in for a fewminutes. She very often had a firelight talk with me at bedtime. Iwas not feeling inclined for it now, for Miss Willoughby, thoughpurposely ignoring me in the drawing-room after dinner, had been lavishwith her biting sarcasm on Christianity and some of its followers. 

Mr. Stanton had instantly come forward, upon hearing some of herremarks, and in the discussion that followed she had been decidedlyworsted. Mr. Stanton was not a man to be trifled with, and he told hersome very plain truths. From getting excited, she finally lost hertemper, and the evening had ended unpleasantly for us all. I felt Ihad been the innocent cause of it, and was too much perturbed in spiritto relish a long chat with Miss Graham. 

She surprised me by alluding at once to the subject of my thoughts. 'Have you consented to play for them at the tableaux?'

'No, ' I said a little wearily as I sat down, and drew a chair forwardfor her. 'I have told Miss Willoughby I cannot do it. '

'Is that your final decision? Does she know it is?'

'Yes, and she is very vexed about it. '

'Of course she is. My dear Hilda, I am glad. I think I must tell younow about it. She is a clever woman, but not a good one. Do you knowthat it has been a regular trap for you? Governesses are not supposedto have ears--and yesterday I was giving Violet a music lesson, whenshe and Mr. Kenneth and Miss Forsyth came in. They went over to thewindow seat, and there began talking over these tableaux. They did notlower their voices, and she made a bet with Mr. Kenneth that she wouldmake you take part in them. He laughed at her, but she said she was inearnest, and then when he had left the room she propounded her plan toConstance. If you had agreed to play for them, --which she said she waspretty sure she would make you do, --she was going to arrange that justbefore the curtain fell the screen should be suddenly shifted from infront of you, and you would then be in full view of the audience. Youwere, in fact, to personify the girl for whom the two rivals werefighting. '

'But, ' I said, quite bewildered, 'I should not have been dressed forthe occasion. How could she imagine such a plan would succeed?'

'It was all to be arranged. She said your cream silk would be just thething, and Mr. Forsyth was to tell you to wear it that night fordinner. I assure you Miss Willoughby was quite determined that sheshould succeed. I am very glad she has failed, for it would be ashabby trick to play any one, and I was very vexed that it should beplayed on you. '

I was silent. Miss Graham's words were a revelation to me, and Iwondered what I had done to cause Miss Willoughby to act so. And Iunderstood her anger at having had her plans so frustrated. Howthankful I was that I had not yielded to her entreaties! After apause, Miss Graham said, 'You must have a wonderful grip of unseenthings, Hilda, to live your life here so cheerily and brightly, whenyou have such constant difficulties and disagreeables arising betweenyou and the girls. '

I looked up at her. 'It is a happy life, Miss Graham, and nocircumstances can ever make it otherwise. '

She leant forward in the firelight, and, taking one of my hands inhers, said rather brokenly, with tears glistening in her eyes, --

'I have wanted to tell you--I must to-night; I think it will cheer youto know that I have found what you have. Do you remember those fewwords you said to me in the wood soon after you first came? I couldnever forget them. And I was troubled for long afterwards. But I seeit all so differently now; salvation is not to be earned, as you saidto me, but to be received. And I think when one receives salvation, one receives the Giver with it. I know I have found it so--it doesindeed make life different. '

'Oh, Miss Graham, I am so glad!' I said, and, unable to check myself, Iburst into tears. I think I was overwrought, and this coming on thetop of my other trouble, proved too much for me. 

'How long have you--have you known this?' I asked, and in the fulnessof my heart I leant over and kissed her. 

'I don't know, ' she said with a smile; 'I have been seeking for it onmy knees and with my Bible night after night. Sometimes I fancied Ihad the assurance of it, and then it seemed to leave me. I think whenyou were at Miss Rayner's I seemed to doubt less and trust more. Andnow I don't think I have a doubt at all. I am staking my assurance onverses like John vi. 37. It was seeing you live your life here thatshowed me you must have the real thing, and made me long to have ittoo. '

She left me soon after, and I sat on by my fire with silent thanks inmy heart for this news. God had indeed been good to me, and I feltespecially grateful that I had been sent such comfort and cheer after arather trying evening. 

CHAPTER XIII

TAKEN HOME

 'But I like to think of him passing, Like a clear early star, Into that quiet region . . . I like to think of his little feet Climbing the heavenly stair, Of his eyes in their wondering meekness Waking to glory there. '

The next morning I was out in the garden picking a few latechrysanthemums, when Mr. Stanton passed by me. He stopped for a moment. 

'What answer have you given about the tableaux?' he asked, with a smile. 

'I have declined to play, ' I said. 'I told Miss Willoughby soyesterday evening before dinner. '

He looked away thoughtfully into the distance, and then said quietly, 'That accounted for her vexation last night. I wondered why she was sobitter. Poor girl! one feels sorry for a life like that. ' Thenlooking at me rather intently, he asked, 'Is the violin consecrated toGod, Miss Thorn?'

'I don't know, ' I stammered; 'I hope so, but I don't keep it for sacredmusic only. I play to them when they want me to. Is that wrong?Surely not! And I love it so myself; it seems to raise my thoughtsheavenwards. Do you think I ought to play nothing but hymns on it?'

He laughed. 'No, I do not; and if I did, you ought not to take mywords as a leading to you. For myself, I believe that music is a giftentrusted to us by our Father, and if we give innocent pleasure toothers by our talent we are not using it in vain. Only I think youwere wise in keeping clear of the tableaux. If you mingle in onething, you must in another, and a Christian has to walk very carefullyif he wishes to preserve unbroken communion with his God. '

He said no more, and left me. As I came into our morning room a littletime after, I heard Miss Willoughby's animated voice, --

'I should like to clear them both out of the house. He is the leastobjectionable, as he can be entertaining when he chooses, but I can'timagine why she should take up her abode here. It is not a question ofcharity. ' Here she noticed my entrance, but calmly went on talking toConstance as if I were not there. 'Let her take herself off to somenursing Sisterhood or slum work in the East of London. I hate ahalf-and-half kind of person. If they are too good to live our lifeand mingle in our society, let them take up a religious vocation, instead of being a perpetual source of annoyance and aggravation tothose they are with. '

Constance gave a slight laugh, then changed the conversation. I put myflowers in water, then left the room without a word. I found Kenneth'swords very true. Miss Willoughby could not forgive me, and I wasconstantly reminded of her dislike to my presence. Constance sidedwith her; she had never liked me, and Nelly, though now and then warmin my defence, seemed to be a little afraid of disagreeing with her, and rather kept out of my way when her cousin was near. It was tryingto bear and her words now set me thinking, as I had sometimes thoughtbefore. Should I be wiser to leave the Forsyths, and go into work ofsome sort that would be more congenial? If my presence in the housewas a trial to them, why should I not relieve them of it? And yet atpresent I hardly saw the way plain before me. 'Dwell deep, ' I said tomyself. 'Miss Willoughby will not be here always, and I have had thecheer of Miss Graham. I have much to be thankful for. '

It was indeed a comfort to me to be able to talk over things with MissGraham. We began having a little Bible reading and prayer together atnight, and it refreshed and strengthened us both. She seemed to havetaken such a firm hold of the truth, and to have such a freshness inher enjoyment of her Bible, that it did me good to hear her talk. Nowand then, too, I enjoyed a few words with Mr. Stanton, but not veryoften. He and Hugh were much up in town, and he was very busy writingsome scientific book in which Hugh was helping. Once Hugh had asked meto go in and play on my violin to them in the dusk before dinner; butMrs. Forsyth had told me afterwards she would rather I did not do itagain, and I took care not to repeat it. I was left very much tomyself while the preparations for the tableaux were going on, and whenthe night came I found that Mrs. Forsyth had no objection to my havinga schoolroom tea with Violet and Miss Graham, and so keeping out of theway of it all. Violet was allowed in to see them, but Miss Graham didnot care to go, and she and I spent a very pleasant evening together. Miss Willoughby and her brother left a few days after; but up to thelast day she was unsparing in her comments and gibes on everythingserious. She was ridiculing me on the morning of the day she left, when we were gathered round the drawing-room fire just before luncheon. I could not well make my escape, so bore it as quietly as I could; butto my surprise Kenneth turned upon her. 'Now look here, Florence, ' hesaid, 'you have had it all your own way since Goody made you lose yourbet; don't you think you can part from her in peace? She has stoodyour fire well. I like to see fair play, and I think you have had yourinnings. Upon my word, I give her a good dose on occasions, just tokeep her from getting too uppish and trying to ride it with a high handover us; but you beat me altogether!'

Miss Willoughby laughed a little scornfully, but she took the hint, andwhen she said good-bye her better nature overcame her. 

'Well, we will part as friends, Miss Thorn. Your face is the best partof you; your views are odious, but no doubt you mean well. I bear nomalice; do you?'

'No, ' I said, looking up at her gravely; 'but I do wish you understoodmy motives better. '

She laughed and turned away, and so we parted. 

I found everything easier after her departure. 

One evening we were just going in to dinner, when one of the servantscame up to me. 'If you please, miss, a message has come from thevillage that Jim Carter is ill, and wants to see you at once. '

I knew the boy had been poorly, for two days before I had found him inbed with a bad sore throat, and we had had to postpone the readinglesson. His uncle said it was a cold, but I had thought then it was asevere one. I turned to ask Mrs. Forsyth if she would excuse my comingin to dinner, but she would not hear of this. 

'It is great impertinence to send up at our dinner hour with such arequest. I cannot agree to your running down to the village as late asthis. The boy must wait till to-morrow. '

'Oh, let me just run down after dinner, then!' I pleaded. 'I am afraidhe must really be very ill. '

'What is the matter with him? If it is anything infectious, you mustnot go near him. '

'I think it is a bad cold. '

'Come in to dinner at once. We cannot keep every one waiting. '

I obeyed, but was very silent through the meal. My thoughts were withJim, and I longed to be with him. Hugh, who was sitting next me, askedwhy I was so grave. When I told him, he said, 'I am going out for asmoke after dinner, so I will take you if you like. The mother won'thave any objection then, I fancy. '

I thanked him, and Mrs. Forsyth giving her consent, an hour later weleft the house together. As we were walking down the lane, Hugh saidabruptly, 'How do you like Stanton?'

'Very much, ' I said; 'is he going to stay much longer?'

'I have just persuaded him to stay over Christmas. He has nobelongings of his own, and I fancy finds his country house ratherdreary. '

'I wonder he doesn't marry. '

Hugh looked at me rather curiously, then said, 'He is too particular. You good people are hard to please!'

'Have you known him long?'

'No, I was introduced to him last spring in town; but we have seen agood bit of each other since. He is one of the few I know whoreconcile science and religion together. And I will acknowledge he hasmade me change some of my opinions about those matters. He is rather abig man in the literary world. '

'I am always thankful when clever men are true Christians, ' I said; 'somany people think that the two can never co-exist. '

When we reached Jim's home, Hugh said he would wait outside for me. Ifound old Roger sitting by the boy's bed, with real trouble in hisface. Jim himself lay back almost motionless, except for a slightmovement of his lips. At the bottom of his small bed little Roddy wasperched, his round eyes looking full of interest and curiosity, andRoddy's mother was bustling about, every now and then putting her apronto her eyes. 

I bent over Jim, and called him by name. He opened his eyes, andsmiled feebly; then I caught the murmured words, 'Read me about thecity. '

'He's very ill, ' whispered old Roger to me; 'an' we can't get nodoctor--but we've sent for 'un now. I thought I could a doctored himmyself; but it's no good. He's 'ad no food for four-and-twenty hours. '

'It's inflammation of the throat or windpipe, I think, ' put in Roddy'smother. 'I only knew he was so bad to-day, or I'd have been up sooner. '

The sick boy's eyes looked at me wistfully, and again I caught thewords, 'The city--I think I'm going there. ' I turned to my littleBible, which I had brought with me, and read a few verses from theseventh and two last chapters in Revelation. His eyes brightened; herepeated slowly and with great difficulty, 'Washed--made white in theblood of the Lamb. '

'Yes, ' I said gently, as I laid my hand on his fevered brow; 'and youhave been washed, have you not, Jim?'

He nodded; and here little Roddy burst forth eagerly, 'Is Jim goin' toheaven?'

'We don't know, ' I said; 'but he is quite ready to go if Jesus wantshim. '

'What time will he get there?' demanded Roddy. 'Will he get thereto-morrow day?'

His mother hushed him, and then old Roger asked me to pray with them, which I did as simply as I could, for I saw Jim's eyes following myevery movement, and knew he was quite conscious. 

'I think I will take Roddy home to bed, and step up again, ' said Mrs. Walters, 'if you're so good as to stay here with the old man, miss. The doctor won't be long now, I'm thinkin'. '

Roddy stoutly resisted being taken away at first. 

'I wants to see Jim go. I wants to see the angels come for him!'

When he was finally pacified, and about to be led away, he trotted upto Jim, and putting his rosy mouth against his cheek, said in a loudwhisper, 'I sends my love to Jesus, Jim. Will you 'member?'

And when Jim smiled and nodded, he departed with his mother, lookingback with a shining face to say, --

'Good-bye, Jim. You send me a post letter when you get to heaven, likeuncle does to mother!'

I sat on quietly for a little while, with Jim's hot hand clasped inmine, repeating some verses to him, and then the doctor arrived, andHugh put his head in rather impatiently at the door. Jim would notleave go of my hand at first, but the doctor rather roughly put measide. 

'Never bend over a sick person so, ' he said to me; 'especially if it'sa case of a bad throat. '

I went to the door to Hugh. 'I am so sorry, ' I said, 'but I promisedMrs. Walters to stay till she returned, and I should like to hear whatthe doctor says. Would you mind waiting a short time longer?'

He grumbled a little, but allowed me ten minutes more. The doctor didnot stay very long, and then he came to me with a grave face. 'Thereis nothing to be done for him now, ' he said; 'it is too late. I don'twant to alarm you, but it is diphtheria. If I had been called inearlier, I might have saved him. You had better not stay. I doubt ifthe poor lad will last through the night. Is there any one besidesthis old man?'

'A neighbour is coming back directly, ' I answered, my heart sinkingwithin me at the tidings. 'You will just let me wish him good-bye?'

'If you have been with him much already it will not matter. Not tooclose to him, please. '

I stood at the bottom of the bed, and Jim's eyes at once sought minequestioningly. 

I tried to smile. 'I mustn't stay, Jim; you are in the arms of Jesus, remember. Good-bye. '

His lips moved, but I could catch no sound; only a faint smile crossedhis face, and I turned to the door to hide the tears already springingto my eyes. I had seen a great deal of Jim lately, and our readinglessons had drawn us very close together. He seemed to have graspedthe truth as a little child, and I had no fears about his being one ofthe Lord's flock. Mrs. Walters entered the house directly after I hadleft Jim. She was very concerned when she learnt what it was, andanxious about Roddy, but promised to stay all night. One word I hadwith old Roger before I left. 

'Ah!' he said, with a shake of his head, in response to the bit ofcomfort I tried to give him; 'I might a known the boy would be taken. He has been gettin' so fond of spellin' out of my big Bible lately, andmostly his talk has been of heaven, and the beautiful city, as he callsit. Well, the Lord wants him, and I'm not the one to say naughtagainst the Lord's dealin's. He's allays merciful, the Lord is, andmaybe my time will be comin' soon. '

When I joined Hugh outside I found Mr. Stanton with him. He told meMrs. Forsyth was getting anxious at my long stay, and wished me toreturn immediately. He had volunteered to come down with the message. 

I told them a little about Jim, but my heart was too full to say much, and we walked home very silently. 

Just as we were reaching the hall door, Hugh happened to ask what wasthe matter with him, and when I told him, both he and Mr. Stantonlooked much concerned. 

Mrs. Forsyth was really angry when she knew. 

'I wish I had prevented your going altogether. I can't conceive whatmade you stay such a time with him; it was most inconsiderate of you. I wish you had never taken up with these village boys; it is a constantanxiety to me that you may bring back infectious diseases from theirhomes. '

I told her how it was I had stayed so long, and then asked to beexcused coming into the drawing-room that evening. I wanted to bealone; it had all seemed so sudden and unexpected that I could hardlyrealize it. 

Early the next morning the village church bell began to toll, and Iknew that my eldest scholar had gone home. It was a real grief to me, and yet for his sake I could not regret it. How thankful I was nowthat I had taken him into my Sunday class, in spite of his age! Itseemed as if it was a special bit of work that God Himself had givenme, and I thanked Him for it on my knees in the midst of my tears. Iheard afterwards that he had not spoken to any one afterwards, or takenthe slightest notice of anything, but had passed peacefully away aboutfour o'clock in the morning. 

Roddy remarked cheerfully, when he heard it, 'Jim will be glad now, won't he, mother? I wish the angels would come for me, too!'

CHAPTER XIV

WOOED AND WON

 'Beloved! let us love so well, our work shall still be better for our love, And still our love be sweeter for our work; And both commended for the sake of each, By all true workers, and true lovers born. '--_E. B. Browning. _

It seemed as if Roddy's wish might be realized, for two days after hesickened with the same complaint. Mrs. Forsyth would not hear of mygoing near him, and I had to be content with news from time to timethrough the different villagers. I was not anxious about myself, but Idid not feel well, and when my throat began to pain me I felt prettysure that I was going to have it, too. 

I was meditating whether I should tell Mrs. Forsyth one afternoon, as Isat by the morning-room fire, when Nelly and Kenneth came in from awalk glowing with health and spirits. 

'Now, ' said Kenneth, throwing himself full length on the sofa, 'we arevery tired, and want a rest. Get your fiddle and play to us in thegloaming, Goody!'

I did not feel much in the mood for it, but I thought it would take offmy thoughts from myself, so I began to play. And in the firelight, with the flickering shadows over the room, I lost all sense of myaudience. I seemed to see the golden gates of the Beautiful City, andJim beckoning to both Roddy and myself. 'The Lamb which is in themidst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto livingfountains of waters, and God shall wipe away all tears from theireyes. ' These words came to me with a fresh realization of their beauty. 

When I stopped playing, Nelly was regarding me with round open eyes, and Kenneth took me quite aback by saying, with cool deliberation, 'There are moments, Goody Two-Shoes, when you and your fiddle arebefore my eyes, that I think I should like to marry you and take youaway with me somewhere where you should charm me with those strainscontinually. Don't look so frightened. We understand each other. Iknow you wouldn't dream of having me, so I am never going to ask you. You have certainly a fit of inspiration on you to-night. I don't thinkI have ever heard you play better. '

'Miss Thorn has tired herself I think, ' said a voice near the door; andlooking round, I saw that Mr. Stanton had been an unseen listener. 

I sat down in my chair by the fire. 'I am tired, ' I said. 'I think Ishall go to bed, Nelly. '

Instantly Mr. Stanton came forward and gave me his arm. 'You aretrembling all over, ' he said very gently; 'lean on me. I am afraid itis your throat. '

I looked up at him. 'Yes, ' I said. 'Will you ask Mrs. Forsyth to cometo me? I am so sorry to give her the anxiety, but I am afraid I amgoing to be ill. '

There was a strange look in his eyes as his glance met mine--a lookthat haunted me through hours of weariness and pain afterwards. Itseemed so full of tender concern and anxiety; but all he said was in alow tone as we left the room together, 'The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. '

Nelly came with me to my room, and in a very few moments her motherfollowed. I feared what Mrs. Forsyth might say, and began halfapologising for the trouble I might give her; but she cut me short, andnothing could have been kinder or more restful than her words. Shetold Nelly to leave the room, helped me to bed herself, saying, 'Don'ttalk or worry yourself, child. I have sent for the doctor. It may bea very slight attack, and the quieter you keep the better. There isnothing for you to be anxious about. I shall send my maid to youpresently; she is very good in sickness. Now lie still, and don't talkto any one. I only wish you had told me you were not feeling wellbefore. '

The next week or ten days seemed like a dream; I hardly knew how ill Iwas till afterwards; but they had feared at one time that I would notpull through. The verse that Mr. Stanton gave me kept running throughmy head as a continual refrain: 'Underneath are the everlasting arms. 'And I found it a wonderful pillow to rest upon. As I graduallyrecovered my health and strength, I was astonished at the extremekindness of all in the house. My room was supplied with fresh flowersevery day, and all varieties of books and magazines were constantlymaking their appearance. 

Mrs. Forsyth was in and out of my room the whole time, though she wouldnot allow her daughters to come near me, and nothing could haveexceeded her kindness and attention. 

'How is Roddy?' was one of the first questions I asked. 

Lyle, Mrs. Forsyth's maid, answered me. 'He is getting well, miss. His mother has been in a sore state of fright about him, but the doctorwas hopeful about him from the first. '

When Christmas Day came, it found me still in my room; but on NewYear's Day I made my first appearance downstairs. I was surprised tofind how weak I felt, and was glad to rest on the couch which Kennethwheeled up towards the fire in the drawing-room for me. 

'We have missed you very much, ' said Kenneth, with a twinkle in his eyethat invariably came there when he spoke to me; 'I fell to quarrellingwith Nell from lack of occupation; she doesn't stand fire like you!Haven't you missed me? I am sure you must have. '

'I don't think I have thought of you once, ' I replied with truth. 

'And who do you think sent you those beautiful flowers every day if Idid not?'

'I don't think it was you, ' I said decidedly. 

He laughed, and Nelly put in, 'Of course he didn't. Mr. Stanton wasconstantly bringing some back from London, if he failed to coax oldBrown to cut him some from the houses. I think he has been the mostattentive one all through!'

'Of course he has. I think he was longing to go in and read the Bibleto you, if the mother had let him. Ministration of the sick, don't youcall it? He will be very attentive yet, I assure you. We know the waythe wind lies, don't we, Nell?'

'I know this, that you are not going to bully Hilda the very first dayshe comes down. '

Kenneth turned away with his low chuckle, and Nelly came up, andsitting down by me, put her hand on mine caressingly. 'You look aswhite and fragile as a piece of china, Hilda. I am so glad you arebetter. You don't know how we have missed you, and when I thought wewere going to lose you altogether I was miserable. I thought over allthe nasty things we had said to you, and how you had borne it like anangel, and then I thought you were going to be taken away because youwere too good for us, and I was wretched!'

Her eyes were full of tears. She added impulsively, 'I prayed that youmight be spared to us. I promised God I would turn over a new leaf andbe more serious, and I want to keep that promise. You will help me, will you not? I so often wish I was more like you!'

'Dear Nelly, ' I said, tears coming to my own eyes, 'I will do what Ican to help you. I know you will never regret it if you do keep thatpromise!'

More we could not say then, for others came up, Mr. Stanton amongstthem. He smiled as he took my hand. 'Welcome back, Miss Thorn. Areyou glad to be amongst us again?'

'Yes, ' I said, looking up at him, 'I think I am, though at one time Ithought I should like to go. I did not think I would be missed. '

He did not answer for a minute, then he said in a low voice, 'I thinkthe Lord has more work for you to do yet in this corner of Hisvineyard. '

I thought of Nelly, and wondered if that was to be my work. How oftenI had prayed that she might have the desire given to her to bedifferent! She had always appeared so perfectly content with her life, that I wondered if anything would ever convince her of its emptiness. 

I saw a great deal of Mr. Stanton during my convalescence; he wouldsometimes come into the morning-room where Nelly and I spent most ofour time, and bring me a book or paper to read, often sitting down andreading it himself to us. And I soon lost all sense of constraint withhim, and could talk to him as unrestrainedly as I could to any one. 

Miss Graham would often join us in her spare time, and the days passedso pleasantly that I dreaded a change in them. 

One afternoon I was lying back in an easy chair by the fire alone, whenMr. Stanton came in. 

'I thought I would enjoy a little chat with you before dinner, ' hesaid. 'I am going away in two days' time, so may not have anotheropportunity. '

My heart sank within me, but I knew that it must come, and steadied myvoice as I replied simply, 'I am sorry. '

'Are you?' he said, bending down over me with a look in his eyes that Icould not meet. 'Will you miss me when I am gone? I have such alonging to stay and surround you with the love and tenderness that Ifeel for you--to have the right of protecting and shielding you from somany things that must distress you in your life here. I wonder whatyour feelings are towards me? Could you trust me with your dear littleself, or am I too old, and too grave to suit you? Do you care for mejust a little--Hilda?'

I could not answer. Somehow or other I had never expected this orlooked for it. To have him as a friend was as much as I had everhoped, and I felt confused and bewildered by the thoughts of anythingmore. 

He seemed to read my thoughts. 'I have taken you by surprise; do notgive me your answer now. I will wait till to-morrow. I think I couldmake you happy, my child, ' and there was a little wistfulness in histone. 'I know how happy you would make me. '

I tried to speak, but could not. He stood up by the fireplace, lookingdown at me silently for a moment, then said, 'Do not distress yourself;it is no light thing I am asking you--to give yourself away for life toone you know so comparatively little. If I were a younger man, Ishould not hesitate so. But I do think we have a bond together whichmany have not--that of being fellow-workers and servants of the sameMaster. And, ' here his voice broke a little, 'Hilda, dear child, youhave my love; shall I be able to win yours?'

Then, as I was still silent, he made a movement as if about to leaveme. 'I will not press you--give me an answer to-morrow. '

But by this time I knew my own heart. I raised ply head and put myhand on his arm. 'Don't go, ' I murmured; 'I will give you the answernow. '

And the answer never got put into words, for with his strong arm roundme all doubts vanished, and I knew that no one on earth occupied such aposition in my heart as he did. 

'I don't know what General Forsyth will say, ' I said, a little timeafter, when I heard the first gong sound for dinner. 

'I had his permission to come to you, ' was the reply. 

I went into Mrs. Forsyth's boudoir before dinner, but she seemed toknow all about it, and kissed me in a most motherly fashion. 'I cansee what you have come to tell me, child, and you have the best wishesof both the general and myself. You are exactly suited to each otherin all your peculiar views, and he is able to give you a comfortablehome. I thought when you were first taken ill how it would end, he wasso concerned about you!'

It certainly was a surprise to me that all in the house seemed to haveexpected it but myself. 

'It stands to reason, my dear Goody, ' observed Kenneth when he heardit, '"that birds of a feather flock together. " I think myself he hasthe best of the bargain. That is the first compliment I have ever paidyou, I believe!'

I seemed to live in a dream for the next few days, for Mr. Stanton--orPhilip, as I soon learnt to call him--postponed his departure for aweek. He took me out for drives on warm, bright days, and wascontinually with me. It seemed to change my whole life, and I couldonly thank God again and again for His goodness. I suppose I had beenso accustomed to live my life alone without receiving sympathy or helpfrom any, that I had ceased to expect it, and Philip's tender, watchfulcare over me seemed sometimes more than I could bear. 

I broke down one afternoon altogether, and it was only some triflinglittle piece of attention on his part that did it. 'You spoil me, ' Icried; 'I have never had any one to care for my likes or dislikesbefore. You will make me selfish, Philip. Don't be so good to me. '

'I shall not spoil you, ' he responded, with a smile. 'I want to makeyour life brighter. You have had plenty of loneliness in it, and now Ihave the pleasure of altering all that. Dear child, a little love andcare will not make you selfish. '

CHAPTER XV

A GATHERING CLOUD

 'O friend! O best of friends! Thy absence more Than the impending night darkens the landscape o'er!'--_Longfellow. _

'Miss Rayner is in the drawing-room, and would like to see you, miss, 'was the message brought to me one afternoon. 

I hastened in. She had been to see me twice whilst I was ill, butneither time was I well enough to enjoy her visit. I had written totell her of my engagement, and was a little doubtful as to how shewould receive the news. I had not heard from her since. 

'Well, ' she said, drawing me towards her by both hands, 'you haven'tbeen long about this affair, child! You did not know such a person wasin existence a couple of months ago. And it isn't a curate, after all!'

'Would you rather it had been, Miss Rayner?' I asked, laughing. 

'I abominate the tribe, as you know, but, as far as I am concerned, this Mr. Stanton may not be much better. Who is he, and what is he?He is an unknown quantity to me!'

'He is a Christian and a gentleman, ' I said warmly 'and one of Hugh'sliterary friends. '

'A dreamy book-worm like Hugh? That does not commend him to me; Ishould wish you something better. Now don't try to crush me with thatfiery look. How do I know what he is like? I only know that you musthave had very short acquaintance with him, and you could afford towait. You are quite a child still. '

'Shall I call him and introduce him to you? He is in the house, ' Iasked very quietly, for I knew Miss Rayner was only trying to draw meout. 

'Not just yet; my call is on you this afternoon. Are you feelingstrong again? How that attack has pulled you down! Are they feedingyou up well?'

'Yes, I am getting well fast. '

She sat down and talked to me for some time, and then allowed me to goand fetch Philip. 

I need not have been afraid of the result, though I had prepared himfor her extremely blunt way of speaking. 

As she shook hands with him, she said, --

'I have come over to see what you are like. I take an interest in thischild here, and I was not best pleased at the news. I hope you mean tobe good to her. Are you sure you are suited to each other?'

Philip was not in the slightest disconcerted by this speech, only agleam of humour was in his eye as he replied, 'That remains to be seen. Of course we think we are at present, but that is always the case. Ithink you will allow I am strong enough to protect her, and old enoughto know my own mind. I doubt if I am good enough for her, but I amgoing to try to do my best. '

Miss Rayner was silent for a minute. 

He added, 'I am really glad to meet with any one who takes an interestin Hilda. Her friends seem to be few and far between. She has spokento me of you, and of how much she enjoyed her visit to you. '

And then they drifted into an easy, amicable conversation one with theother, whilst I for the most part was silent, only putting in a wordnow and then. Afterwards Mrs. Forsyth came in, and then Miss Raynerdid not stay much longer. I had one word alone with her in the hall. 

'I see by your anxious eyes what you want to ask, ' she saidgood-naturedly, pinching my cheek as she spoke. 'I am slow to makefriends, but he looks honest and good, and is presentable; you might doworse, I suppose; only don't be hurried into a hasty marriage, Iimplore you. Get to know each other through and through first. Ah!well, you have knocked down one of my castles in the air, but I mighthave expected it! I am sure I wish you every happiness, child. ' Aquick sigh followed her words, and then she called out brightly to usas she got into her trap, --

'Come over and dine with me both of you one night; if not now, whennext you come down, Mr. Stanton. I suppose you will be continuallyhovering about this neighbourhood now!'

The last day of Philip's visit soon came. I drove down to the stationto see him off, but I dreaded the parting. 

'You must write to me often, and tell me all about yourself, ' he said, trying to speak cheerfully; 'and when Easter comes I have a plan in myhead. I shall get a cousin of mine to come down with her husband toCobham Hall, and then she will help me entertain my visitors. I shallinvite all of you down, for I want you to see your future home, childie. Meanwhile, I shall doubtless be able to run down here for aday or two and see you. Mrs. Forsyth has kindly asked me to do sowhenever I can. '

'Yes, ' I said; 'the future looks very bright to me, almost too brightsometimes, I think. Oh, how good God has been!'

Then after a moment's silence I said, 'I shall miss you so, Philip. Itwill seem like a dream. '

'You will "dwell deep, "' he said, smiling as he quoted my favouriteverse. 'We are not solely dependent on each other's presence forhappiness, are we? We shall be able to strengthen each other's handsby prayer. '

He went; and I think others besides me missed him. His presence madeitself felt wherever it was. Hugh had behaved very well about ourengagement. He said to me, with a grave smile, when first he heard ofit, --

'You have gained a friend, and I have lost one. I ought to be vexed, Isuppose. '

'Oh no, ' I replied; 'your friendship with him remains unchanged. Youwill find there will be no difference. I cannot be to him what youare, and if he does not spend quite so much time with you now as he hasdone, it will not always be so. '

But he turned away with a laugh and a shake of his head. 

We were very quiet for some time after Philip's departure. Constancewent away on a visit to Mr. Stroud's relatives. Kenneth went up toLondon, and as I was still far from strong, I was left to do very muchas I liked, Nelly accompanying her mother when she went out. GeneralForsyth called me into his study one morning to have a talk over myfuture. 

'Have you any idea in your own head when your marriage is to be? HasStanton said anything to you about it?'

'I--I don't wish to hurry about it, ' I said confusedly; 'he is willingto wait. '

'How long?' demanded my guardian shortly. 

'Are you wanting to get rid of me?' I asked, a little vexed by his tone. 

'Do not be so foolish!' was the reply. 'I intend, as I have told youbefore, to treat you as I should one of my daughters; but it seems tome that there is nothing to wait for. Constance is going to be marriedabout Easter. I do not see why that time should not suit you. '

'Oh no, ' I cried; and though I had resented them at the time, MissRayner's words came before me. 'I would rather wait longer; please letme, if it is not inconvenient to you. '

He said no more, but I wondered much if the Forsyths were relieved atthe possibility of my leaving them soon. I said something of the sortto Nelly, who, of course, eagerly disclaimed it. 'Why, Hilda, we shallmiss you awfully! I don't know what I shall do, unless I get engagedbefore you go. Fancy me being left here alone, the old maid of thefamily! I dare say I shall not marry. I have never seen a single manthat I care for yet. Some one asked me the other day if I wasn'tjealous of you! So ridiculous! I am sure I would be frightened out ofmy life by Mr. Stanton. I am very glad he picked upon you. You arejust made for each other, you two! I wouldn't have him for my husbandfor worlds! Sometimes when he is thinking, he looks so severe and coldthat he makes me shiver. Grace Dawkin said the other day that helooked like a man with a "dark past. " Have you ever asked him abouthis past, Hilda? Because, really, we know very little about him. Hughseems to know hardly anything. Mother is satisfied, because she knowshe comes of a good family; but he may have murdered some one, or doneanything, for all we know!'

I knew it was of no use being angry with Nelly, or I could have scoldedher well for her way of talking; she always said out anything andeverything that came into her head without a thought of whether herhearers would like it or not. There was a little difficulty at firstabout my taking my Sunday class again. Mrs. Forsyth had an objectionto it, but she finally consented, and only forbade me to visit in anyof the cottages if there was sickness. Roddy was well again, and noother cases of diphtheria had been heard of. I promised her I would becareful, and joyfully took up my work again, but found I missed Jimmuch more than I could have imagined. He had always been so helpful atthe class, arranging the seats, keeping an eye on the very little ones, and guiding Kitty Brown to and fro. Poor Kitty missed him dreadfully. 'He never teased me, teacher, like the other boys do; he never said across word. I wish sometimes it had been me that was took; but I'spose I'm not good enough. '

'I think Jesus, perhaps, wants you to do some work for Him that Jimcouldn't, ' I replied, answering her in much the same way I had beenanswered myself a short time before. 

Here Roddy broke in. 'What's Jim doing, teacher? Mother says singin'hymns. Won't he never get time to write a letter to me? I asked himto. '

'He is doing just what Jesus wants him to, Roddy. You mustn't expect aletter, but you will see him again one day, and that will be betterthan a letter. '

So the time slipped on, and writing so constantly to Philip and hearingfrom him in return, was my greatest consolation during his absence. Twice he managed to come down for a couple of days, which were muchenjoyed by us both; and then Easter drew near, and with it all thebustle attending the preparations for Constance's wedding. After itwas over we were to go down to Cobham Hall, which was Philip's place, and stay there for three or four weeks, and Nelly as well as myself wasgreatly looking forward to it. 

Two days before the wedding we were gathered, a large and merry party, in the drawing-room after dinner. Philip had come down that afternoon, but in spite of his pleasure at being with us again, I fancied he wasill at ease, and wondered at the cause. 

'Now, Goody Two-Shoes, ' Kenneth cried, when music was going on, 'giveus something extra nice from your fiddle. Get into a dream over it, and make us all as dreamy as yourself. '

I took my violin up, and standing in my favourite position against oneof the French windows I began to play. Everything that evening isstamped vividly upon my memory. I can see now the yellow jasmineoutside the windows fluttering to and fro in the breeze, the lilacs andlaburnums on the lawn sending some of their sweet fragrance through oneof the half-opened doors, and the last rays of the setting sun gildingthe tops of the distant hills. As I turned my eyes inwards, I saw abright fire, General Forsyth on one side reading the evening paper, Mrs. Forsyth on the other, busy with her fancy work and little tablebefore her. At the piano, lounging about in different attitudes, wereNelly and several girl cousins, Kenneth and two other gentlemen in thebackground, whilst at the farther window stood Constance with Mr. Stroud. Philip was bending over a book with Hugh at a small tablenear, but when I began to play he threw himself into an easy chair, andresting his head upon his hand, prepared himself to listen. I noted anabstracted, moody look in his eyes, and it was in vain that he tried tohide it. I began to play one of Beethoven's sonatas, but drifted onfrom that to my own fancies, and glancing out into the dusky twilight, seemed to feel, rather than see, great banks of heavy, gloomy cloudsroll up and envelop us in their darkness. A strange depression seemedto take possession of me, a heavy weight to settle down upon myspirits. I played on dreamily, until suddenly I was stopped by a cryfrom Constance, 'Do for pity's sake stop that wail, Hilda; one wouldthink you were playing our funeral dirge!'

Her sharp tone so startled me that my violin fell to the ground with acrash. I gave a shiver, and Kenneth said, 'Has an evil spirit takenpossession of you, Goody? You have put us all into the blues by theuncanny cries and moans that have proceeded from your fiddle! What isthe matter with you?'

I could not answer him, Philip was picking up and replacing my violinin its case, after which he laid his hand on my arm. 'Come into thelibrary with me. '

I followed him; he stirred up the fire, which was nearly out, and thendrew me to him. 

'What is the matter, childie?'

Nothing could have been more tender than his tone. The tears came tomy eyes, and I rested my head against his shoulder with a sigh. 

'I don't know, ' I said. 'What is the matter with you, Philip?'

'You have sharp eyes to see that anything is the matter, ' he replied, smiling; then, in a graver tone, he added, 'I have something worryingme--a matter of business that I cannot speak of at present to you. Youmust trust me, Hilda. Can you do this, do you think, even ifappearances are against me?'

He raised my face to his as he spoke, and our eyes met. Trust him! Ifelt as I met his clear, open gaze that I would trust him through anyamount of doubt or mystery, and I told him as much as we stood by thefirelight together. 

'I wish, ' he said presently, 'that it was our wedding that was going totake place to-morrow; and yet I don't know--perhaps it will be best foryou that it is not. '

A heavy sigh followed, and then we were both startled by the appearanceof a servant. 

'A telegram, sir. '

Philip took it and turned to me. 

'I must leave you. Darling child, don't look so distressed. I amvexed that I should have to go before the wedding, but it is imperativethat I should. I must write and tell you my movements when I knowthem. I shall just catch the 10. 30 train to town if I go at once. Hilda, say good-bye to me here before I go to the drawing-room. Trustme, little one, and pray for me. '

I clung to him, for I still felt the shadow of a dark cloud hoveringover us. 'Why need you go? Where are you going? When are you comingback again? We were to have travelled to your home together. Don't gotill you have told me more, Philip. You _must_ not leave me like this!'

He looked surprised at my vehemence. 'Dear child, you are overwrought. I shall be back in a few days at the most, I hope. Good-bye, mydarling; God bless you and keep you!' And taking me in his arms, hekissed me over and over again. I said no more, my tongue seemed tied, and he left me standing by the fire, feeling as if a great unknowntrouble was settling down upon me. 

I stayed there, heard his voice in the hall, and then a confused babelof questions and exclamations from the others. When, a few minuteslater, I heard him leave the house, I flew upstairs to my room; I knewfrom my window I should see a bend of the road along which he mustpass, and as I saw the trap driving rapidly along I leant out and wavedmy handkerchief. He saw my signal. I suppose the light in my room andthe unclosed shutters to the windows helped him to do so, and taking upthe lantern in front of the trap he waved it to me. Then came a knockat my door, and Mrs. Forsyth appeared. 'Do you know the reason of thissudden disappearance, Hilda? I do wish sometimes Mr. Stanton were alittle more communicative. '

'It was a telegram, ' I said, trying to speak quietly; 'only a matter ofbusiness, he said, but it obliged him to go to London immediately. '

'It is very annoying. I was quite counting on his presence to-morrow. We seem to have such a scarcity of men. Are you not coming down to thedrawing-room again?'

'I would rather not, please, ' I said; for I felt I could not go throughall the questions and remarks that would assail me. 

Mrs. Forsyth did not stay, and I, trying to fight with the namelessfears in my heart, took refuge and comfort in prayer. 

CHAPTER XVI

DARK DAYS

 'Rest thou in God, amid all changes; Be pleased with all He may ordain; Wait patient till what He arranges, For thy best welfare shall be plain; God who has chosen us as His, Knows best what our true welfare is. '--_Neumark. _

The wedding passed off successfully. I think I was the only one whofelt out of harmony with the brightness and gaiety all around. Thoughthe Forsyths felt the loss of their eldest daughter, there was much tosoften their regret at parting with her. She was not going very faraway from them; she and her husband seemed exactly suited to each otherin many ways, and she was going to a comfortable, luxurious home. 

I think too that Nelly occupied a warmer place in their hearts thanConstance. The latter seemed to live so entirely for herself, and hernature was so cold and unsympathetic that her presence did not alwaysmake home the happier for it. Nelly was the sunshine of the house, andit was she who up to the last kept up an atmosphere of sparklingbrightness which none could withstand. 

We felt rather 'flat, ' as Kenneth expressed it, when all was over andthe guests had departed. My thoughts were with Philip, and when, twodays after his departure, the post brought me a letter in hishandwriting, I opened it with trembling fingers. It was very short. 

'MY DARLING, --

'I am off to America on this business that I spoke to you about. Willsend you my address later on, but my movements are quite uncertain. Sosorry that your visit to Cobham Hall must be postponed. God bless you!

'Yours 'PHILIP. '

I had expected something of this sort, and was hardly surprised, thoughI did wish he had written more fully. When I told the others, I had tobear a great deal of comment and commiseration. 

'I cannot bear mysteries, ' said General Forsyth; 'why can't the fellowtell his business instead of being so vague about it?'

'He is so exceedingly reticent about his affairs, ' said Mrs. Forsyth, 'that one seems to know very little more about him now than one did atfirst. Are you in his confidence, Hugh?'

'If I were, I would be hardly likely to betray what he sees best towithhold. '

Hugh's tone was haughty. I looked across the breakfast table at himwith a smile, feeling I had one on my side to do battle for the absentone. 

'It's awfully disappointing, ' grumbled Nelly. 'I was looking forwardto our visit at his place, and have refused several invitations that Imight have had instead of it. When people go off to America theygenerally stay there for years, and are never heard of any more. '

'That is cheerful for me, ' I said, forcing a laugh; 'but America is notvery far off, Nelly, the passage takes next to no time, it is only aquestion of a few weeks. '

'It is well to keep up your spirits, Goody, but it looks bad--verybad!' and Kenneth shook his head with mock solemnity as he spoke. 'Weall noticed his gloom and uneasiness the last evening he was here. Iam afraid he has a "dark past, " and his conscience is troubling him. Be prepared for the worst. It may be a case of another woman, Goody. In the style of the penny dreadfuls, a wife that he thought dead mayhave turned up again, and then where would you be? He may have beenmarried two or three times before, for all we know!'

'That will do, ' General Forsyth said sternly; 'such jokes are extremelyout of place, and we will have no more of them. '

And Kenneth subsided, to my great relief. I felt I could bear verylittle more, and was glad to get away alone and bear my disappointmentas best I could. 

But the next few weeks were very trying ones. Not for an instant did Idoubt Philip, but others did, and the remarks and conjectures on hissudden departure were hard for me to sit and listen to. 

I did not hear from him again, except a post-card to announce hisarrival in New York. I wrote to him there, but received no answer, andthe time of waiting and suspense seemed interminable. 

If I had not learnt the secret of 'dwelling deep' in dark times, Isometimes think I should not have been able to live through that time. The Forsyths were kind, and felt for me, I knew; but my guardian wasangry by the suddenness of it all, and persisted in looking upon me asbeing ill-treated in the matter. Nelly took the very blackest view, and declared I would never hear of or see him again, whilst Kennethspent his time in concocting the most elaborate stories and bringingthem out for my benefit, of different people who mysteriouslydisappeared, and the causes of their doing so. Hugh was the only onewho with me felt it must be right, and he often cheered me byassurances of his speedy return. 

'It is most likely money matters, ' he said one day to me; 'I know agood deal of his income is in some funds in New York. He has somecousin in business there, who manages things for him. '

And this was the most likely solution I could obtain. But why did henot write? As time went on I grew more and more anxious. I said verylittle to any one, and tried to be cheerful, and go on with my dailylife as before, but it was a hard matter. 

I could not bring myself to touch my violin. That last evening rose upbefore me, and the dim foreboding of evil that had so overshadowed me. I felt a strange shrinking from the very thing that used to be such acomfort and delight to me. 

One afternoon I was startled by a message being brought to me by MissRayner's old coachman, saying she was ill and wanted to see me. Mrs. Forsyth had gone up to London for a fortnight, so I went at once to myguardian. 

'Helen ill!' he exclaimed. 'I should not think she has had a day'sillness in her life. What is the matter with her?'

'John says she fell into the river trying to ford it riding, and didnot change her wet things. He says she got a violent chill last week, and has had a great deal of fever. This is her note to me. '

I gave him a little slip of paper, on which was scrawled, in lettersvery unlike Miss Rayner's usually firm hand:--

'DEAR HILDA, --

'I am ill. Will you come and help Susan to nurse me?

'Yours affectionately, 'HELEN RAYNER. '

General Forsyth gave his consent to my going, and I returned thatafternoon with John, who was full of garrulous accounts of MissRayner's illness. He wound up with saying, --

'And h'it's just my doing that hi'm taking you back. I said to Susanthis morning, --I won't be a party to hiding h'it h'any longer. I'll gostraight over to the general's and get some one to come h'and see toher while she's yet h'alive, and you may tell the mistress that hi'mdoing it. So Susan she sees hi'm not to be trifled with, h'and shetells Miss Helen, h'and she sends this note for you. You will find hervery h'ill, miss. She's been at death's door, h'and she's not turnedthe corner yet!'

The house was very still when we entered it. Even the dogs seemed toknow something was the matter, for there was no bounding forward andbarking when I appeared; they only crept up to me, and looked withmute, wistful appeal into my face, as if to ask for their absentmistress. As I went quietly up the stairs I met the doctor comingdown. He looked grave, and, in answer to my inquiries, said, --

'I hope she will pull through; the worst has passed, but she is veryweak. If you are going to be with her, do not let her talk too much. She must not be excited; and see that she has nourishment at the timesI have ordered. I shall be in early to-morrow morning. '

A minute after and I stood by her bedside, but I was shocked to see howher illness had pulled her down. She lay motionless, but not asleep, and when I laid my hand softly upon hers she looked up. 

'Do you know me?' she asked, with a faint smile. 'I feel a wreck, andas helpless as a baby!'

'I wish we had known about it before, ' I said, 'I would have come overat once. '

'I was too ill to care, ' she responded. 'I hate people fussing round. I thought I should like to see you, and so sent John over. '

She closed her eyes, and I, quietly removing my hat and jacket, cameand took up my position at the bedside. 

Susan and I had some anxious days after this, and, beyond saying averse or two from the Bible to her, I could do nothing but pray forher. She seemed too weak to be able to hear or understand. But atlength she really began to mend, and then her recovery was rapid. 

One afternoon, the first time I felt I could with safety let her talk alittle to me, she turned to me and said abruptly, --

'Hilda, I can't face death. I am not prepared for it. '

I did not answer for a minute, then I said, --

'God has been very good in saving you from that, hasn't He?'

'But I have been on the brink of it, child, and I can't forget it. Ithas made me see things so differently--my wasted life, and my self-willand self-pleasing, my rejection of so much Bible truth that wasdistasteful to me. I have thought and thought over these things till Iwonder I did not go crazy. It was that that made me send for you. Ifelt you were the only one that could help me. '

'I am afraid I have not been able to do much, ' I responded. 'You havebeen too ill to talk to, but I have been praying for you. '

'You said one verse to me soon after you came that has been ringing inmy head ever since. Wasn't it something like this, "There is oneMediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, in whom we haveredemption through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins"?'

'Yes, ' I replied; 'but those are bits of verses you have put together. I repeated both of them to you. '

I took my Bible and read them to her again, then she said, --

'Now then, take those verses as your text, and give me a littlediscourse on them, just as you do to your little Sunday scholars. '

I hesitated. Never had I been asked to do anything that seemed asdifficult as this. Yet I dared not refuse such an opportunity, and, with an earnest prayer for the Holy Spirit's guidance, I began, falteringly enough at first, to talk about it. I do not remember nowwhat I said; I was only conscious at the time of Miss Rayner's earnestgaze, and of a longing desire that she might obtain both pardon andpeace. 

She listened in silence, then said, --

'Now I want to hear you pray. Don't look so frightened. You pray withthe old villagers you go to see, and I have a soul as much as theyhave. Kneel down and pray for me. '

I knelt, and when I rose she had tears in her eyes. 

'You are a dear little thing!' she said in a softened tone; 'one wouldthink my welfare was as precious to you as your own, to hear you! Now, that is enough for to-day. Suppose you leave me, and go out into thegarden for a breath of fresh air. You can send Susan to me. '

I stooped and kissed her before I left, saying softly, --

'Dear Miss Rayner, I know you will find Him if you seek Him. He isvery near you now. '

We had several talks together after that. I could not help thankingGod again and again for having given me this bit of work in the midstof my own trouble. And it was touching to see how, with all her powerof intellect and will, Miss Rayner's illness had humbled her like alittle child. She seemed to realize deeply her sin in rejecting thetruth for so long. 

It was when she was beginning to sit up a little that one day sheturned to me and said, 'I have not asked after Mr. Stanton once yet. When are you going to Cobham Hall?'

She evidently knew nothing of what had taken place, and was greatlysurprised when I told her all. 

'Do you mean to say you have never heard from him since he left?' sheexclaimed. 

'Yes, once--from New York. That is nearly two months ago. '

'I wish you hadn't been so quick about it, child. I felt from thecommencement that it was a risky thing, your knowing so very littleabout him!'

'I know him well enough to be able to trust him, ' I said quietly. 

She looked at me and smiled. 'Then you are not anxious, at all events?'

'Yes, I am anxious, ' I replied, 'for I do not understand his silence. He must be ill, or something must have happened to him; but otherpeople do not think so, and their insinuations and remarks about it arealmost more than I can bear. '

Miss Rayner was silent. I added impulsively, 'I had more than oncethought of writing to you, and asking you to have me for a little. Ifelt it would be such a relief to get away from all the talk. This wasbefore I knew you were ill, of course. '

'And why did you not?'

'I thought it would be rather selfish of me. Now Constance is married, Nelly seems to cling more to me, and there is my work in the village. It is rather cowardly to run away from one's duties if the way is notsmooth, don't you think so?'

Miss Rayner did not answer, only said with a sigh a moment after, 'Ihope he will not disappoint you. '

CHAPTER XVII

DAWN

 'The night is mother of the day, The winter of the spring. '

Mrs. Forsyth came to see her sister directly she returned from town, and was vexed that she had not been sent for before. She was quitewilling that I should remain where I was, and so after she had returnedhome again I had some quiet, restful weeks during Miss Rayner'sconvalescence. I call them restful, but though I had the sense ofpeace and rest deep down in my heart, I am afraid on the surface I wasrestless and ill at ease. Every post awakened fresh expectation andhope, only to be followed by the depression of disappointment. Iprayed much to be given a quiet mind, and I do think, to some extent, my prayer was answered. And I had the intense joy of seeing MissRayner's whole life change, her interests and thoughts now centred onthings above. She did not say much, but her Bible was now her constantcompanion, and I felt by her conversation how real and deep the changewas in her. 

It was one evening in the beginning of July that we were sitting out ina low verandah that ran along one side of the house. The sun wassetting in front of us, and a glorious sunset it was; the sky wasilluminated with rosy light from the deepest crimson to the mostdelicate pink, and the fleecy clouds that passed by seemed bathed inits golden splendour. 

'It always makes me think of heaven's gates, ' I was saying to MissRayner; but before she had time to reply we were startled by the suddenappearance of Hugh. 

In a moment I was on my feet, and I felt every vestige of colour leavemy face. 

'You have some news!' I cried. 

For answer he quietly put a letter in my hand, and when I saw thewell-known writing the reaction was too much, I sat down and burst intoa flood of tears. 

Miss Rayner wisely left me alone. She drew Hugh away, and took himinside the drawing-room, saying, 'It has been a strain to thechild--this time of suspense, though she has taken it so quietly. Shewill be better left to herself. '

And then when they had left me I opened my letter. It had evidentlymet with some delay on the road, for it was written a long time past. Only one sheet as follows:--

'MY DEAREST, --

'How you must have wondered at my silence, and how little I thoughtwhat a test your love and trust would be put to during this long time!When I reached New York I found it imperative to push on somewhere inthese remote regions, from where I date this letter. I had only timeto send you a card, but I little thought how long it would be beforeyou would hear from me again. A bad accident resulted in my beingstretched on a sick-bed for two whole months, and I am only now able towrite. But I am on the way to speedy recovery now, and as soon as Ican be moved I shall make the best of my way home to you. The businessI was called out here about is at an end. Circumstances have made mewonder, as I lie on my bed, whether it is still right to allow you tolink your life with mine. But I cannot write it. I must see you faceto face, if God permits, and then we must talk it over. I am hoping tobe in England soon after you receive this. Till then, darling, good-bye. 

'Ever yours, 'P. STANTON. '

I sat with the letter in my hand, one thought after another followingin rapid succession. But what really filled me with anxiety and dismaywas the date on which the letter was posted. According to hisstatement he ought to have arrived in England long before this, and whyhad he not done so?

I rose from my seat and called Miss Rayner, who came to my side at once. 

'Well? Good news, I hope!' she said cheerily. 

'Why isn't he here?' I said, and I handed her the letter. She read it, and told Hugh its contents, as I did not seem to have the voice tospeak. 

'He may have been delayed, ' Hugh said at once, 'I will go up to hisagents again in town, and find out if they know anything of hismovements. '

'Again!' I exclaimed. 'Have you been before then?'

'Yes, ' he said hesitatingly; 'there was nothing to tell you, or I wouldhave done so. They had lost sight of him themselves. '

'When did you go?' I demanded, 'and what did they say? Oh! Hugh! youmight have told me. I didn't know he had any agents in town, or Iwould have gone myself. Let me come with you now--tonight. '

Miss Rayner laid her hand on my arm. 'Don't be so excited, child. Usea little of your common sense. Do you think there is any chance ofgetting up to town at this time of night, or if there were, would yoube likely to get the information you need? Hugh can sleep here, and goup the first thing tomorrow morning. '

To this Hugh agreed at once. He seemed almost as anxious as I for thewelfare of his friend. 

The letter had brought little comfort to me, but I could see it hadgreatly relieved Miss Rayner's mind. My one fear now was that it wasillness, perhaps death, that was the cause of his absence. 

'He says so little, ' I remarked presently; 'he does not tell me thenature of the accident, or how badly he has been hurt. And why shouldthe letter have been delayed?'

'That is easily accounted for, ' said Hugh, taking up the envelope andexamining the post-mark. 'He was evidently at some rough mountainplace when he wrote, and posts are few and far between. If you trustyour letters to a messenger or a passer-by, you may think yourselffortunate if he remembers to post them at all, and they may often liein his coat pocket for weeks before he thinks of them. '

That was an anxious evening to me. As I was wishing Hugh 'good-night'I said, 'I have never thanked you yet for coming over to me at oncewith the letter. It was very good of you. '

'The governor suggested posting it, but I thought you would like to getit as soon as possible. Nell was dying to open it; she told me to tellyou she wanted you home again. When are you going to part with her, aunt?' And he turned towards Miss Rayner as he spoke. 

'When she wants to go, ' was the blunt reply. 

I went to bed soon after, but I could not sleep. I read and re-readthe letter, and wished much that further details had been given. Yetwhen I thought of him penning those lines on a sick-bed, perhaps withthe greatest difficulty and pain, I could wish he had not troubled towrite so much. Earnestly did I pray that his health and strength mightbe given back to him. I felt it such a comfort to pour out all mydoubts and fears to God, knowing that He was not only willing tolisten, but able to control all Himself, and watch over and protect, yes, and heal the absent one. I fell asleep, repeating to myself, 'Thesteps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, ' and it brought comfort tomy soul. 

Hugh was off the first thing the next morning, but Miss Rayner wouldnot allow me to go up to town with him, and it seemed the longest daythat I had ever spent. Miss Rayner asked me if I would like to returnto the Forsyths at once, but I shook my head. 

'You are not quite strong yet, ' I said to her, 'and I do like beinghere. I feel as if they will be so full of questions, and will pick myletter to pieces, if I go back. General Forsyth always imagines theworst about people. None of them believed it must be illness thatcaused his silence, though I felt myself it must be. They all ascribedthe worst motives they could think of for it. And--and sometimes Ifeel I can't forgive them for doubting and mistrusting him so. '

'You don't mean that?' Miss Rayner said, looking at me steadily. 

'No, ' I said, colouring a little, 'I have no ill-feeling really, Iought not to have harboured it for an instant, but it would come. Itry and look at it from their side, and of course I know that what youall say is true. A few months ago he was a stranger; oh! Miss Rayner, tell me, do you fear the worst? If he is dead, I think my heart willbreak!'

'Hearts are not so easily broken, ' Miss Rayner replied, with a littlesigh; 'my dear, you must have patience and wait. I think most likelyhe has only been delayed. You would have heard before now if the worsthad happened. '

Hugh returned about eight o'clock that evening, but he had little newsto give us. Philip's agents had known only quite recently of hisillness, and were expecting to hear of his arrival in England every day. 

So there was nothing for me to do but wait patiently. I left MissRayner soon after, for the Forsyths wanted me back. 

'I shall miss you, child, ' she said, as we were parting, 'and you mustpray for me. I find that the habits of a lifetime are not easilyuprooted; if I get into a tangle, I shall send for my little ministerto put me straight again. '

'No; you don't want any one to come between you and God, ' I said with asmile; but I left her with a heavy heart. We had grown, in spite ofthe disparity between our ages, to be such very close friends since herillness. 

And then I took up my old life again, hoping every day to hear freshtidings, and trying to bear the disappointment as brightly and bravelyas I could. 

One afternoon I wandered out by myself to the moor. It was a hot dayin August, but there was always a breeze up there, and I loved to getaway from every one; the loveliness and stillness soothed and comfortedme. I had my Bible with me, and the hours slipped by so quickly thatwhen I began to retrace my way homewards I found it was much later thanI had imagined. At the entrance to the village I met Kenneth. 'Well, you are a nice one!' was his remark when he saw me; 'do you know wehave been scouring the country for you all the afternoon? A telegramcame for you about a quarter of an hour after you had left thehouse--Goodness gracious! are you going to faint? There's nothingwrong--allow me to finish my sentence--and now there's something betterthan a telegram arrived in the shape of a two-legged specimen----'

'He has come then!' I exclaimed. 'Oh, Kenneth, tell me!'

'Who has come? Who are you expecting? You interrupt me so that I havelost the thread of my discourse, and forget what I was going to say. '

Then seeing that I was not in a state to stand much more joking, healtered his tone. 'Yes, he has arrived, looking rather seedy, but heis alive. He has been closeted with the governor for the last twohours, giving an account of himself. I hope it is all fair and square, but he won't let us into his secrets, though I told him his conduct hadbeen rather "fishy" in our eyes. What are you going to do? Run awayfrom me? You are such a dignified little soul generally, that Iexpected we should have a saunter up to the house together; but Iforgot that "love lends wings, " isn't that the saying? I will race youif you like. Now, one, two, three, and away!'

And in another minute we were tearing through the village and up theavenue to the house in a style that would have greatly shocked Mrs. Forsyth, had she seen us. Kenneth gave a loud 'whoop' when we enteredthe hall, which brought every one out at once, but I was only consciousof one form, one greeting, and the next minute I found myself drawninto the empty library. Then my composure gave way: clinging hold ofhim, I could do nothing but sob, and for some minutes there was perfectsilence between us. I could only feel the touch of his fingers on myhair, and the strong beating of his heart, against which my head wasresting. 

And then I controlled myself, and looked up into his face. 'Oh, Philip, how ill you must have been! How worn and ill you look! Areyou well again?'

'Very nearly well, thank God!' was the reply. 'And now come and sitdown, childie, here by me, and let me tell you everything. You havenever doubted me, have you? I need not ask you, for your eyes tell me. Only you are looking white and thin, darling. The suspense must havetried you!'

'It is all right now, ' I said. 'I am longing to hear it all. '

But Philip's explanation had to be postponed--the gong rang for dinner, and I knew we must not keep the others waiting. 

As I went up to my room to change my dress, Nelly seized hold of me. 'Oh, Hilda, I'm so glad for you! And it will come all right, thoughfather is shaking his head downstairs, and saying to mother he doubtswhether he ought to countenance your engagement proceeding. What isit? has he lost money?'

'I don't know, ' I answered, ' and I don't care. I only know he is safehome again, that is quite enough for me at present!'

CHAPTER XVIII

WEDDED

 'My wife, my life. O we will walk this world Yoked, in all exercise of noble end, . . . . Indeed I love thee, come Yield thyself up: my hopes and thine are one. '--_Tennyson. _

It was after dinner, wandering arm-in-arm through the dusky garden, that Philip told me the whole story. It appeared that a young cousinof his whom he had promised a dying mother to befriend, had fallen intobad company out in New York, and had accomplished several successfulforgeries for very large amounts in Philip's name. He was clerk in ahouse of business out there with which Philip was connected; in fact, he had obtained the situation for him. The forgeries were discoveredwhilst Philip was with us, and though he forbade any proceedings to betaken until he had investigated the matter himself, Ronald Stanton, theculprit, took fright and absconded, taking with him a great deal ofmoney from the firm in which he was. And Philip on the impulse of themoment determined to follow his track and save him if possible fromworse ruin. It was the wish to shield this cousin that kept himsilent, and made him leave us with so little explanation. When hearrived at New York, he told the managers of the firm that he would beresponsible for the missing sums, and started with a confidentialservant in quest of the runaway. He went through a variety ofadventures before he came on his track, and then at length when he methim in the depths of some backwoods, the young fellow turned upon himin desperation, and before Philip could explain that it was on anerrand of mercy and not of justice that he had followed him, in theheat of the moment Ronald drew his revolver and shot him. 

'It was very nearly proving fatal for me, ' said Philip as he told thestory, 'but God in His mercy prevented the sin of murder being laid tothe poor lad's charge. He was in such a state of mind when he foundwhat he had done, that if it had not been for my servant's restraininghand, he would have made an attempt on his own life. I could justmanage to say, "I have come to save you, " and then I remembered nomore; but when I recovered consciousness I found that he had become mywatchful, untiring nurse. I think it was due to his indefatigable carethat I recovered. Both he and my man Dawson never left me night orday. Poor fellow! it was as I feared. He had been a mere tool in thehands of others, who had decamped, leaving him to bear the consequencesof his sin. '

'But, Philip, how long were you ill? And were you hurt much? I haveno pity for your cousin--no, none; how could he, oh, how could he treatyou so?'

'Perhaps I had better tell you no more. Let us talk of other things. '

'No, no, I want to hear everything; please go on. '

'I tried to write to you when I got better, for I thought you would beless alarmed than if a stranger wrote to you; but in illness one doesnot take much count of time, and I had no idea that I had left you solong without a line. At last I was able to manage, and then I did hopeI should get home. Ronald, poor boy, waited to come back and givehimself up to the hands of justice, and in telling your guardian aboutit he thinks I was wrong in not letting the law take its course. But Iwould be the only sufferer, it was my money he had made away with, andI could bear the loss. He was so thoroughly and truly repentant that Idid not regret it. I made arrangements for him to go and start lifeafresh out there on a farm. It is his determination to pay backgradually as he can all he owes; but this would be the work of alifetime. It was through gambling that he was tempted first of all. '

'But why did you not come home at once?'

'I had a relapse, and found when I reached the nearest town I must gointo hospital to have the bullet extracted, which had never been done. I did send you a letter from there, which you ought to have had, but anaccident happened to some mail bags about that time; they got burnt, and I can only conclude yours must have been amongst them. '

'And were you very ill in hospital?'

'I had rather a bad time of it. If I had been able to have a properdoctor at the time, it would have saved me a good deal. As it is, myright lung has been injured, and I shall have to be careful for a longtime. '

'I feel as if I can never forgive that cousin of yours, never! Oh!Philip, why were you so good to him?' And unnerved by the account hehad given me, I burst into tears. 

'It has been too much for you to-night, childie, ' and Philip drew mecloser to him. 'You will feel differently towards him to-morrow. Ihave told you all, for you have a right to know, and I found I wasobliged to tell your guardian; but I did it in the strictestconfidence, and I know he will respect my wishes about it. Others neednot know particulars, and you must try to forget it. Now to come tothe subject that will concern us much more closely. This has made adifference in my prospects. I have not gone thoroughly into my affairsyet, but I see nothing for it but to let Cobham for a few years. Iwill not go into debt, neither will I mortgage it, and I cannot nowafford to keep the place up as it should be. I think eventually Ishall be able to go back to it, but not at present. Will you becontent with a small house somewhere near town, while I follow myliterary pursuits, as much now for gain as formerly for pleasure?'

'Why do you ask me such a question? you know how satisfied I shall be. '

'The general is not. He is very distressed about it, and then there isanother objection now--my health. ' He stopped, and his face lookedgrave and worn in the', dusky twilight. I stood still and faced him, adreadful fear taking possession of me. 

'Philip, tell me truly, is your life in danger? are the doctors afraidof anything serious?'

He took my hands in both his, as he answered, 'There is nothing to beanxious about, my darling, at present. I shall need care and nursing, perhaps. They give me hope that time will outgrow the mischief, butperhaps it may shorten my life. I tell you this because I want you tosee what is before us. I have no right to expect you to link your lifewith mine under these circumstances, and your guardian is very doubtfulas to the wisdom and expediency of it. '

'Does he think, ' I said, the blood rushing to my cheeks withindignation, 'that this will make any difference in my feeling towardsyou? It will certainly in one way; it will make me ten times moreconscious of the honour it will be to become your wife. It will makeme realize more and more your unselfish devotion and goodness towardsthe one who has marred and spoilt your life, and make me know what anoble----'

'Hush! hush!' he said, half laughing, as he dropped my hands, and puthis arm round me, 'you may think me a hero to-night, but in the calmlight of to-morrow morning you may think differently. And yet I am soconfident of your love and trust that I have never doubted how youwould act. I would not let you sacrifice yourself, if I were sure inmy own heart that my health was seriously injured; but I do not thinkit is. I believe the doctors are right when they say that time willheal the mischief. I do not think we shall be called to give eachother up, if you are content to take me as I am. '

Much more we said to each other on that calm, still evening; and beforewe came indoors we gave thanks together to our Heavenly Father for Hisgoodness in bringing us together again. 

I was obliged to have an interview with my guardian the next morning. He was very kind, but said he was doubtful whether, under the presentcircumstances, I ought not to look at things with a different eye. When he found, as I think he must have expected to find, my opinions onthe subject were totally unchanged, he ended up by saying, 'Of course Ihave tried to act towards you as I should towards my own daughters. Itis a disappointment to me that you will not be as comfortably off withStanton as I had supposed you would be at first, and there is his stateof health that is a drawback; but still I cannot press you to break offthe engagement, having given my sanction to it. I only wish he had notacted in the extraordinary quixotic way he has. Then all this troublemight have been spared you both. For a man of his age and stamp, Iconsider he has been most foolish, if not to say culpable, in themanner he has treated that young scoundrel of a cousin!'

Two evenings after this we were in the drawing-room after dinner, whenPhilip asked me if I would play to them. 

There was silence amongst the others whilst I opened my violin case, and then Kenneth remarked, as I began to tighten the strings, 'Can itever be used again? Don't you know, Stanton, that it was not only abroken heart, but a broken fiddle you left behind you, when youdeparted so suddenly last time you were here? It's astonishing howsoon hearts get mended, and fiddles too, it appears. Goody hasshuddered at the sight of that instrument ever since. I thought theepitaph on her tombstone would be, "She never played again!"'

I found a difficulty in playing that night in the midst of thisnonsense. I seemed to have lived a lifetime since last I had touchedmy violin; but when I had once started, I as usual forgot everythingbut just the comfort and soothing it brought me. And when I hadfinished, Nelly said, impulsively, 'There! now you look like your oldself, Hilda. You haven't been the same since that night Kenneth wasspeaking of. Don't you love your violin? I am sure you do, from theway you handle it!'

'Of course I love it, ' I responded warmly. 

Kenneth laughed. 'You have a rival, Stanton. I tell you, when shestands up there, her eyes getting bigger and bigger, and her preciousfiddle hugged tighter and tighter, you are absolutely nowhere--out ofher affections and thoughts altogether! I think, if I were in yourplace, I should quietly make away with it when you have an opportunity. It will bring discord into your life, I warn you; it is capable of it!'

We all laughed; but Philip said to me afterwards, 'Everything that Isee and hear makes me realize afresh what an anxiety and strain I havebrought into your life. Can you forgive me?'

'Is there anything to forgive?' I asked. 'I have been anxious, Philip--it was no wonder, but I think the trouble and anxiety has onlymade me realize the force and strength of that verse in the Psalms, asI never should have done otherwise: "God is our refuge and strength, avery present help in trouble. "'

'And it is worth going through the darkness to experience Histenderness and care, ' was the rejoinder. 

Philip had a great deal of business to do for the next month or two, and then it was settled that our marriage should take place the latterend of November. A dreary month for a wedding generally, but it wasnot so in our case, and it was a sunshiny, frosty morning when we stoodtogether in the little village church as man and wife. 

I could not have believed, if any one had told me a twelvemonth before, how much I should have felt the parting with the Forsyths--Nellyespecially lay very near to my heart; we had had many a talk togetherof things above, and I sometimes dared to hope that she had graspedhold of the truth, though she was fearful of letting others know aboutit. The night before our wedding she came to me and asked me to praywith her, which I did; and then with tears in her eyes she said, 'Ishall miss you so dreadfully, Hilda; you have helped me to see thingsso differently, and I don't think I shall ever be satisfied now withjust a whirl of gaiety. '

'You have promised to take my Sunday class, so that will give you aninterest, ' I said, trying to speak brightly; 'and oh! Nelly, if you getto know the Lord as your personal Friend, you won't miss me. He willbe quite sufficient. '

'I am trying to, ' she said softly; 'I would like to know Him as youdo. ' Then in a brisker tone she said, 'And you will ask me to staywith you soon, won't you? When you are in town, you know! I shouldlike to come, and I won't ask to go to any theatres, or even to apicture gallery, or a ride in the Row, if you think it worldly! But dolet me come just to be with you. '

Miss Graham bid me good-bye with much grief; but I felt happy abouther; she was steadfastly setting her face heavenwards, and praying andinfluencing her pupil into the same path too. I think Mrs. Forsyth wasgenuinely sorry for me to leave, and when I said something to her aboutbeing so sorry that my views had clashed with hers, and hoping shewould understand how it was, she gave me a warm kiss, saying, 'Nevermind the past, my dear. Perhaps if I had been brought up differently, I should have seen more with you. We shall miss you very much, for youhave been a great help and comfort to us whilst you have been here. '

Miss Rayner appeared at the wedding, to every one's great astonishment. Her parting words caused me much thought and consideration: 'Don't besurprised if you hear soon that I have given up my chicks, and departedto the wilds of Africa as a missionary. I must do something with mybit of wasted life left me. '

My little Sunday scholars were in full force at the church gate as wewent through, and irrepressible Roddy darted up to me and clutched holdof my dress, --'You isn't going away to heaven, is you, like Jim?'

'Not yet, I think, ' I answered, trying to detach his chubby fingersfrom my skirt. 

'I thought you was, in that booful angel dress!' And he fell back witha trace of disappointment on his rosy face. 

Kitty was by his side openly weeping. As I came down the path after itwas all over, I could not help giving her a special 'good-bye. ' Hersad little face flushed with pleasure as I did so, and she murmured, 'Inever shall forget you, teacher, you've taught me to love Jesus'; andmy own eyes filled with tears at her words. 

As we drove away to the station on our way to the Continent for a monthor six weeks, and I felt I was on the threshold of a new life, I saidto Philip, 'I feel as if I could put to this chapter of my life, "Notone thing hath failed of all the good things which the Lord God spakeconcerning you!"'

CHAPTER XIX

OLD FRIENDS

 'One in heart, in interest and design, Gird up each other to the race divine. '--_Cowper. _

'Hilda, I have an old friend coming to dine with us to-night. I cameacross him in town to-day; you are sure to like him, he is a generalfavourite wherever he goes. '

'What is his name?'

'Ratcliffe--Charles Ratcliffe. I have known him a long time, before hecared for serious things. It was a meeting in town to which I took himthat was, in God's hands, the means of his conversion. That was manyyears ago, when I was just beginning to understand these things; I wasquite a young fellow myself, and he is my senior by many years. Ishall like you to know him, and I want him to know my wife. '

We were at breakfast, and it was a cold morning in February. Philiphad taken a flat in South Kensington, and though in many ways we shouldhave preferred a house of our own, we were perfectly happy with thisarrangement. The only anxiety I had was Philip's health; his lung thathad been so affected still gave him trouble, and he was often confinedto the house for weeks at a time. All day long I kept repeating thename of Charles Ratcliffe over to myself, and wondering where I hadheard it before, but it was not until our guest was actually in ourdrawing-room, and shaking hands with me, that it flashed across me. Miss Rayner had been engaged to a Mr. Ratcliffe. Could this be thesame, I wondered? And I determined presently to find out. He was atall, handsome man with an iron-grey moustache and clear blue eyes. Icould not keep my gaze off him. How often I had longed that somehow orother I might be permitted to bring those two together again! It wouldbe strange if I were to discover that he was the identical man. 

Our conversation got round to the Forsyths and their part of thecountry, and then I said boldly, 'One of the prettiest parts is whereMrs. Forsyth's sister lives, a Miss Rayner. She lives in an oldfarmhouse close to the moor. I spent some of my happiest days withher. '

He did not start or show any emotion at the name, as I hoped he would;but he said slowly, after a minute's pause, 'I used to know a MissRayner long ago--Helen Rayner her name was. I suppose it is the same, as I heard she had settled down there somewhere. '

'She is a very great friend of mine, ' I said warmly; 'but I do notthink she will be there much longer now, she talks of giving the placeup. In fact, she is coming up to town to stay with us next week for afew days, whilst she is meditating an interview with some missionarysociety; she wants to go abroad as a missionary. Perhaps, as you areold friends, Mr. Ratcliffe, you would like to meet her. Won't you comeand dine with us again whilst she is here? Would next Friday suit you?'

I saw Philip glance across at me with slight surprise; but I was toointent on my own plan to mind, and he at once added his invitation tomine. 

Mr. Ratcliffe hesitated a little, and then asked if he might leave itan open question for that night, as he hardly knew what his engagementswere. And having gained my point I changed the subject, and MissRayner's name was not mentioned again. 

We had a pleasant evening with our guest. And when he had gone Philipturned to me. 

'I need not ask you how you like him, ' he said, with an amused sparklein his eye; 'I never saw my little wife more determined on makingacquaintance with any of my friends, or of improving the opportunity. Who else is to be invited to your dinner-party on Friday, may I ask?'

'You mustn't tease me, ' I rejoined, ' for you don't know my motives. Come and sit down here, and let me tell you all about it. '

He did not seem as interested in my story as I was, though he laughedat my 'match-making' propensity, as he called it. 

'I recollect now, ' he said, 'that he was engaged to some girl at thetime I first knew him. It is strange that it should have been to MissRayner. I remember how glad I was when he told me it was broken off, for I feared she would be a stumbling-block to him. I should letmatters alone if I were you, little woman. They are very happy now, both of them. It's too late in the day to alter things, and neither ofthem would wish it, I am sure!'

'You men never understand these things, ' I said, laughing; but at thesame time I felt very doubtful as to whether my experiment wouldsucceed. 

Mr. Ratcliffe did accept for Friday, and now I grew very nervous abouttelling Miss Rayner. She arrived, and had been two days with us beforeI could pluck up courage to broach the subject, and it was Philip whoeventually did it for me. 

'By the bye, Miss Rayner, ' he said at breakfast on Friday morning, 'afriend of mine is coming in to dinner to-night. I hope you won'tobject. Ratcliffe is his name. '

She gave a little start, but answered, 'Of course I have no objection;but I told Hilda I would not be drawn into society whilst up here. Icame up solely on business, and when that is over I shall go home. '

She did not ask any questions about him, and I said nothing. When hewas announced that evening she and I were alone in the drawing-room. Certainly of the two Mr. Ratcliffe was the coolest. 'We have metbefore, Miss Rayner, so need no introduction, ' he said, holding out hishand. 

She took it. 'Yes, ' she said, 'it was a surprise when I heard yourname mentioned. What cold weather we are having!' and we drifted intogeneral topics of conversation as easily as possible. 

There was no constraint at the dinner-table. 

Miss Rayner could always talk well, and I never heard her talk betterthan on this night; more than once I saw Mr. Ratcliffe looking ratherfurtively across the table at her, but nothing could have been moreindifferent than his tone when addressing her. 

Then we began to talk on mission work at home and abroad. Mr. Ratcliffe seemed thoroughly at home with this subject, whilst MissRayner grew more and more silent. I was longing for an opportunity toleave them alone, and hoped that we might succeed in doing so afterdinner, but I could not manage it. When he was taking his leave heturned to Miss Rayner and said, 'Would you care to come down and seeover the premises of the East End Mission I am interested in? If youhave never seen London slum work, I think this would give you aninsight into it. '

And to my great delight Miss Rayner responded in the affirmative. Theyarranged a time, and tried to include me in the visit, but I declined;and when the next morning I saw the two walk off together, I turned toPhilip with a beaming face. 

'There!' I exclaimed. 'I consider I have managed that. Now if theydon't make it up, it won't be my fault. '

'You are a foolish child, ' Philip responded, as he turned round fromhis writing to draw me to him. 'Why should you be so anxious to bringthem together?'

'Because, ' I said, as I laid my cheek lightly against his, 'I want themto be as happy as we are, Philip, and I believe they will be. '

Miss Rayner returned from her morning in the East End very quiet andpreoccupied. I asked no questions, but was surprised when later in theday she said to me, 'I must leave you to-morrow, Hilda. I have done mybusiness, and am longing to get out of London. It never suits me. Ifeel as if I cannot breathe here. '

'You promised to stay till the end of the week, ' I said reproachfully. 

'Circumstances alter cases, ' she rejoined briefly. 

This did not sound very hopeful. I was silent, not knowing very wellwhat to say. Presently she said, with a short little laugh, 'I amalways outspoken, Hilda, so I'll tell you frankly that if you had notMr. Ratcliffe hanging about this part I might have lengthened my visit. I cannot stand the chance of meeting him again. '

'Why?' I asked innocently. 

'Why?' she repeated. 'You know my story, and he will not let bygonesbe bygones, but insisted this morning upon dragging up old memoriesthat are best left buried. In fact, he wants things to be as they oncewere, and they cannot. '

'Oh, Miss Rayner, why not?' I again exclaimed. 

'Because we are old and grey, ' she said, laughing; 'because he hasdrifted into ways of his own, and into mine. It would be ridiculousand besides I--I should be no help to him. I am such a beginner. '

She turned from me quickly and left the room. 

I was perplexed and disturbed. I had felt sure that my little plan wasgoing to succeed, and I was very disappointed at its apparent failure. I knew that she still cared for him, and why she would persist instanding in her own light, and putting such happiness from her, I couldnot imagine!

That evening Miss Rayner and I were dining alone as Philip had anengagement out. I was a little anxious about him, as he was only justrecovering from a bad cold, and made him wrap up very warmly before hewent. Miss Rayner said to me at dinner, 'I am afraid your husband'shealth is a great anxiety to you. '

'It is a little cloud to our happiness, ' I said, 'but we are nottroubled. I always feel He is in God's hands; I suppose we shall neverhave unclouded sunshine on earth, and I don't think I would have it so, otherwise we should perhaps lose the experience of "dwelling deep, " andI would not wish that. '

'Have you seen Kenneth at all lately?' Miss Rayner asked. 'I heard hewas up in town. Do you know, I used to fancy that he was very partialto you. '

I laughed. 'He says he is still; but Kenneth is just Kenneth, MissRayner! I look upon him as a brother. He was calling here the otherafternoon and brought Captain Gates with him. '

'Was that your friend?'

'Yes; but he got over that a long time ago. He is engaged to a verynice girl, I believe, and told me he was steadying down. I wish he hadthe real thing in his life; but perhaps it may come yet. '

A short time after dinner I was surprised by Mr. Ratcliffe beingannounced. Miss Rayner did not happen to be in the room. He looked alittle awkward, I thought, and said, 'I meant to have given Miss Raynera Report of our Mission this morning, and thought I would bring itround, as I understood she was leaving you to-morrow morning. '

'Yes, ' I said gravely; 'I am afraid she is. I wish you could persuadeher to stay a little longer. '

I have no influence over her, ' he said, a little sadly. 

'But you once had, ' I said softly. 

'Do you know about us, Mrs. Stanton?' and there was a slight eagernessin his tone. 'How I wish you could help me now! All these years, though I have steadfastly put it in the background, her face--in fact, her _self_--has been haunting me. There has only been one woman in theworld for me; and now, when I find her so changed, I thought thatperhaps she might--even though I am no longer young--be willing to cometo me. Her parting words years ago were, "It is not you that Idislike, but your views; and those I cannot stand. " Now she lovesthose very things that were so distasteful to her, and yet she will notlisten to me. I can only conclude her affection for me died out longago, and is a thing of the past. '

'No, no, ' I cried; 'it is not so. I believe you have always been asmuch in her thoughts as she has been in yours. I cannot quiteunderstand her now. She seems as if she is afraid of letting you seewhat is in her heart. I should persevere, if I were you, and make herlisten to you. '

I could say no more, for the door opened and Miss Rayner came in. Isaw from the determined set of her lips, and the distant, frosty tonesin which she spoke to him, that she had no intention of relenting; andI knew it was only a cloak to hide her real feelings, and longed totear it aside. 

I tried all in my power to make conversation easy between them. Icould not bear to see the troubled, pathetic look in Mr. Ratcliffe'seyes. Miss Rayner was in her worst mood--cynical and hard. She didnot seem to care how she was wounding by her words, and I felt she waspurposely representing herself in the worst light possible. Suddenly athought struck me. I knew how music softened her, and quietly takingout my violin, I asked them if they would like me to play. Theyassented, and moving to a distant corner of the room I began. I thinkI put all my soul into it, for I was longing the sweet sounds shouldsoothe and soften her, as they had so often before. 

I played on. There was perfect silence in the room. She was sittingin the firelight, and he, leaning against the chimney-piece, never tookhis eyes off her face. 

When I at last paused I saw her eyes were moist, and all the hard linesabout her face had entirely disappeared. Without a word I slippedsoftly out of the room, and going into Philip's study, I knelt down andasked that the two hearts and lives that had been so long severed mightbe brought together again. Then I waited, and the time seemed longbefore I heard the drawing-room door open, and Mr. Ratcliffe's voiceinquire, 'Where is Mrs. Stanton?' I went out, and received a grasp ofthe hand that I felt for long after. 'God bless you for what you havedone for me to-night!' he said, in an agitated tone; and withoutanother word he departed. 

I went in to Miss Rayner. She was sitting where I had left her, but noexplanation was needed to see from the expression of her face what hadtaken place. 

I just went up to her, and put my arms round her neck. 

'I am so glad and thankful, ' I whispered, 'and I do hope that you willbe happy. '

Miss Rayner did not speak for a minute, and then she said, in a brokenvoice, --

'You have brought two blessings into my life, child. This present oneis big enough, but the other outweighs it by far, and my heart is toofull to speak of it. As for Mr. Ratcliffe, I only hope I shall be ahelp to him now, and not a hindrance. '

'It is all right, Philip, ' I said, as I met my husband an hour later inthe hall; 'they have come together at last!'

He put his arm round me, and said gently, --

'I hope Ratcliffe will be as much helped and blessed by his wife as Ihave been by mine. I have experienced the truth of this, "He thatgetteth a wife beginneth a possession, a help like unto himself, and apillar of rest. "'

THE END