ELKAN LUBLINER, AMERICAN

ELKAN LUBLINER, AMERICAN

BY MONTAGUE GLASS

AUTHOR OF"Potash & Perlmutter, " "Abe & Mawruss, ""Object: Matrimony, " etc. 

[Illustration: Frucus Quam Folia]

GARDEN CITY NEW YORKDOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY1912

_Copyright, 1911, 1912, by_THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY

_Copyright, 1912, by_DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & CO. _All rights reserved, including that oftranslation into foreign languages, including the Scandinavian_

CONTENTS

 PAGE

Noblesse Oblige 3

Appenweier's Account 33

A Match for Elkan Lubliner 81

Highgrade Lines 147

One of Esau's Fables 196

A Tale of Two Jacobean Chairs 250

Sweet and Sour 288

ELKAN LUBLINER, AMERICAN

ELKAN LUBLINER

CHAPTER ONE

NOBLESSE OBLIGE

POLATKIN & SCHEIKOWITZ CONSERVE THE HONOUR OF THEIR FAMILIES

"Nu, Philip, " cried Marcus Polatkin to his partner, Philip Scheikowitz, as they sat in the showroom of their place of business one June morning, "even if the letter does got bad news in it you shouldn't take on sohard. When a feller is making good over here and the _Leute im Russland_hears about it, understand me, they are all the time sending him badnews. I got in Minsk a cousin by the name Pincus Lubliner, understandme, which every time he writes me, y'understand, a relation dies on himand he wants me I should help pay funeral expenses. You might think Iwas a Free Burial Society, the way that feller acts. "

"Sure, I know, " Philip replied as he folded the letter away; "but thishere is something else again. Mind you, with his own landlord he issitting playing cards, Marcus, and comes a pistol through the windowand the landlord drops dead. "

"What have you got to do with the landlord?" Polatkin retorted. "If itwas your brother-in-law was killed that's a difference matter entirely;but when a feller is a landlord _im Russland_, understand me, the leasthe could expect is that he gets killed once in a while. "

"I ain't saying nothing about the landlord, " Philip protested, "but mybrother-in-law writes they are afraid for their lives there and I shouldsend 'em quick the passage money for him and his boy Yosel to come toAmerica. "

Polatkin rose to his feet and glared angrily at his partner. 

"Do you mean to told me you are going to send that loafer money heshould come over here and bum round our shop yet?"

"What do you mean bum round our shop?" Philip demanded. "In thefirst place, Polatkin, I ain't said I am going to send him money, y'understand; and, in the second place, if I want to send the fellermoney to come over here, understand me, that's my business. Furthermore, when you are coming to call my brother-in-law a loafer and a bum, Polatkin, you don't know what you are talking about. His _Grossvater_, _olav hasholem_, was the great Harkavy Rav, Jochannon Borrochson. "

"I heard that same tale before, " Polatkin interrupted. "A feller is a_Schlemiel_ and a lowlife which he couldn't support his wife andchildren, understand me, and it always turns out his grandfather was abig rabbi in the old country. The way it is with me, Scheikowitz, justso soon as I am hearing a feller's grandfather was a big rabbi in theold country, Scheikowitz, I wouldn't got nothing more to do with him. Ifhe works for you in your place, understand me, then he fools away yourtime telling the operators what a big rabbi his grandfather was; and ifhe's a customer, Scheikowitz, and you write him ten days after theaccount is overdue he should pay you what he owes you, instead he sendsyou a check, understand me, he comes down to the store and tells youwhat a big rabbi he's got it for a grandfather. _Gott sei Dank_ I ain'tgot no _Rabonim_ in my family. "

"Sure, I know, " Philip cried, "your father would be glad supposing hecould sign his name even. "

Polatkin shrugged his shoulders. 

"It would _oser_ worry me if my whole family couldn't read or write. Solong as I can sign my name and the money is in the bank to make thecheck good from five to ten thousand dollars, y'understand, what do Icare if my grandfather would be deef, dumb and blind, Scheikowitz?Furthermore, Scheikowitz, believe me I would sooner got one good livebusiness man for a partner, Scheikowitz, than a million dead rabbis fora grandfather, and don't you forget it. So if you are going to spendthe whole morning making a _Geschreierei_ over that letter, Scheikowitz, we may as well close up the store _und fertig_. "

With this ultimatum Marcus Polatkin walked rapidly away toward thecutting room, while Philip Scheikowitz sought the foreman of theirmanufacturing department and borrowed a copy of a morning paper. It wasprinted in the vernacular of the lower East Side, and Philip bore it tohis desk, where for more than half an hour he alternately consulted thecolumn of steamboat advertising and made figures on the back of anenvelope. These represented the cost of a journey for two persons fromMinsk to New York, based on Philip's hazy recollection of his ownemigration, fifteen years before, combined with his experience astravelling salesman in the Southern States for a popular-price line ofpants. 

At length he concluded his calculations and with a heavy sigh he put onhis hat just as his partner returned from the cutting room. 

"Nu!" Polatkin cried. "Where are you going now?"

"I am going for a half an hour somewheres, " Philip replied. 

"What for?" Polatkin demanded. 

"What for is my business, " Philip answered. 

"Your business?" Polatkin exclaimed. "At nine o'clock in the morningone partner puts on his hat and starts to go out, _verstehst du_, andwhen the other partner asks him where he is going it's his business, _sagt er_! What do you come down here at all for, Scheikowitz?"

"I am coming down here because I got such a partner, Polatkin, which ifI was to miss one day even I wouldn't know where I stand at all, "Scheikowitz retorted. "Furthermore, you shouldn't worry yourself, Polatkin; for my own sake I would come back just so soon as I could. "

Despite the offensive repartee that accompanied Philip's departure, however, he returned to find Polatkin entirely restored to good humourby a thousand-dollar order that had arrived in the ten-o'clock mail; andas Philip himself felt the glow of conscious virtue attendant upon agood deed economically performed, he immediately fell into friendlyconversation with his partner. 

"Well, Marcus, " he said, "I sent 'em the passage tickets, and if youain't agreeable that Borrochson comes to work here I could easy find hima job somewheres else. "

"If we got an opening here, Philip, what is it skin off my face if thefeller comes to work here, " Polatkin answered, "so long as he gets thesame pay like somebody else?"

"What could I do, Marcus?" Philip rejoined, as he took off his hat andcoat preparatory to plunging into the assortment of a pile of samples. "My own flesh and blood I must got to look out for, ain't it? And if mysister Leah, _olav hasholem_, would be alive to-day I would of got 'emall over here long since ago already. Ain't I am right?"

Polatkin shrugged. "In family matters one partner couldn't advise theother at all, " he said. 

"Sure, I know, " Philip concluded, "but when a feller has got such apartner which he is a smart, up-to-date feller and means good by hispartner, understand me, then I got a right to take an advice from himabout family matters, ain't it?"

And with these honeyed words the subject of the Borrochson family'sassisted emigration was dismissed until the arrival of another letterfrom Minsk some four weeks later. 

"Well, Marcus, " Philip cried after he had read it, "he'll be hereSaturday. "

"Who'll be here Saturday?" Polatkin asked. 

"Borrochson, " Philip replied; "and the boy comes with him. "

Polatkin raised his eyebrows. 

"I'll tell you the honest truth, Philip, " he said--"I'm surprised tohear it. "

"What d'ye mean you're surprised to hear it?" Philip asked. "Ain't I amsending him the passage tickets?"

"Sure, I know you are sending him the tickets, " Polatkin continued, "buteverybody says the same, Philip, and that's why I am telling you, Philip, I'm surprised to hear he is coming; because from what everybodyis telling me it's a miracle the feller ain't sold the tickets andgambled away the money. "

"What are you talking nonsense, selling the tickets!" Philip criedindignantly. "The feller is a decent, respectable feller even if hewould be a poor man. "

"He ain't so poor, " Polatkin retorted. "A thief need never got to bepoor, Scheikowitz. "

"A thief!" Philip exclaimed. 

"That's what I said, " Polatkin went on, "and a smart thief too, Scheikowitz. Gifkin says he could steal the buttons from a policeman'spants and pass 'em off for real money, understand me, and they couldn'tcatch him anyhow. "

"Gifkin?" Philip replied. 

"Meyer Gifkin which he is working for us now two years, Scheikowitz, anda decent, respectable feller, " Polatkin said relentlessly. "If Gifkintells you something you could rely on it, Scheikowitz, and he is tellingme he lives in Minsk one house by the other with this feller Borrochson, and such a lowlife gambler bum as this here feller Borrochson is youwouldn't believe at all. "

"Meyer Gifkin says that?" Philip gasped. 

"So sure as he is working here as assistant cutter, " Polatkin continued. "And if you think that this here feller Borrochson comes to work in ourplace, Scheikowitz, you've got another think coming, and that's all Igot to say. "

But Philip had not waited to hear the conclusion of his partner'sultimatum, and by the time Polatkin had finished Philip was at thethreshold of the cutting room. 

"Gifkin!" he bellowed. "I want to ask you something a question. "

The assistant cutter laid down his shears. 

"What could I do for you, Mr. Scheikowitz?" he said respectfully. 

"You could put on your hat and coat and get out of here before I kickyou out, " Philip replied without disclosing the nature of his abandonedquestion. "And, furthermore, if my brother-in-law Borrochson is such alowlife bum which you say he is, when he is coming here Saturday hewould pretty near kill you, because, Gifkin, a lowlife gambler and athief could easily be a murderer too. _Aber_ if he ain't a such thiefand gambler which you say he is, then I would make you arrested. "

"Me arrested?" Gifkin cried. "What for?"

"Because for calling some one a thief which he ain't one you could sitin prison, " Scheikowitz concluded. "So you should get right out of herebefore I am sending for a policeman. "

"But, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Gifkin protested, "who did I told it yourbrother-in-law is a thief and a gambler?"

"You know very well who you told it, " Scheikowitz retorted. "You told itmy partner, Gifkin. That's who you told it. "

"But I says to him he shouldn't tell nobody, " Gifkin continued. "Is itmy fault your partner is such a _Klatsch_? And, anyhow, Mr. Scheikowitz, supposing I did say your brother-in-law is a gambler and a thief, I knowwhat I'm talking about; and, furthermore, if I got to work in a placewhere I couldn't open my mouth at all, Mr. Scheikowitz, I don't want towork there, and that's all there is to it. "

He assumed his hat and coat in so dignified a manner that for the momentScheikowitz felt as though he were losing an old and valued employee, and this impression was subsequently heightened by Polatkin's behaviourwhen he heard of Gifkin's departure. Indeed a casual observer might havesupposed that Polatkin's wife, mother, and ten children had all perishedin a common disaster and that the messenger had been indiscreet inbreaking the news, for during a period of almost half an hour Polatkinrocked and swayed in his chair and beat his forehead with his clenchedfist. 

"You are shedding my blood, " he moaned to Scheikowitz. 

"What the devil you are talking nonsense!" Scheikowitz declared. "Theway you are acting you would think we are paying the feller fivethousand dollars a year instead of fifteen dollars a week. "

"It ain't what a feller makes from you, Scheikowitz; it's what you makefrom him what counts, " he wailed. "Gifkin was really worth to us a yearfive thousand dollars. "

"Five thousand buttons!" Scheikowitz cried. "You are making a big fussabout nothing at all. "

But when the next day Polatkin and Scheikowitz heard that Gifkin hadfound employment with their closest competitors Philip began to regretthe haste with which he had discharged his assistant cutter, and he borehis partner's upbraidings in chastened silence. Thus by Friday afternoonPolatkin had exhausted his indignation. 

"Well, Philip, " he said as closing-time approached, "it ain't no usecrying over sour milk. What time does the boat arrive?"

"To-night, " Philip replied, "and the passengers comes off the islandto-morrow. Why did you ask?"

"Because, " Marcus said with the suspicion of a blush, "Saturday ain'tsuch a busy day and I was thinking I would go over with you. Might Icould help you out. "

 * * * * *

Philip's trip with his partner to Ellis Island the following morningtried his temper to the point where he could barely refrain frominquiring if the expected immigrant were his relation or Polatkin's, for during the entire journey Marcus busied himself making plans for theBorrochsons' future. 

"The first thing you got to look out for with a greenhorn, Philip, " hesaid, "is that you learn 'em good the English language. If a fellercouldn't talk he couldn't do nothing, understand me, so with the youngfeller especially you shouldn't give him no encouragement to keep ontalking _Manerloschen_. " Philip nodded politely. 

"Look at me for instance, " Marcus continued; "six months after I landed, Philip, I am speaking English already just so good as a doctor or alawyer. And how did I done it? To night school I am going only that theyshould learn me to write, _verstehst du_, _aber_ right at the start oldman Feinrubin takes me in hand and he talks to me only in English. Andif I am understanding him, _schon gut_; and if I don't understand himthen he gives me a _potch_ on the side of the head, Philip, which thenext time he says it I could understand him good. And that's the way youshould do with the young feller, Philip. I bet yer he would a damsightsooner learn English as get a _Schlag_ every ten minutes. "

Again Philip nodded, and by the time they had arrived at the enclosurefor the relations of immigrants he had become so accustomed to the humof Marcus' conversation that he refrained from uttering even aperfunctory "Uh-huh. " They sat on a hard bench for more than half anhour, while the attendants bawled the common surnames of every countryfrom Ireland to Asiatic Turkey, and at length the name Borrochsonbrought Philip to his feet. He rushed to the gateway, followed byMarcus, just as a stunted lad of fifteen emerged, staggering under theburden of a huge cloth-covered bundle. 

"Uncle Philip, " the lad cried, dropping the bundle. Then clutchingMarcus round the neck he showered kisses on his cheeks until Philipdragged him away. 

"I am your uncle, " Philip said in _Jüdisch Deutsch_. "Where is yourfather?"

Without answering the question Yosel Borrochson took a stranglehold ofPhilip and subjected him to a second and more violent osculation. It wassome minutes before Philip could disengage himself from his nephew'sembrace and then he led him none too gently to a seat. 

"Never mind the kissing, " he said; "where's your father?"

"He is not here, " Yosel Borrochson replied with a vivid blush. 

"I see he is not here, " Philip rejoined. "Where is he?"

"He is in Minsk, " said young Borrochson. 

"In Minsk?" Philip and Marcus cried with one voice, and then Marcus satdown on the bench and rocked to and fro in an ecstasy of mirth. 

"In Minsk!" he gasped hysterically, and slapped his thighs by way ofgiving expression to his emotions. "Did you ever hear the like?"

"Polatkin, do me the favour, " Philip begged, "and don't make a damn foolof yourself. "

"What did I told you?" Polatkin retorted, but Philip turned to hisnephew. 

"What did your father do with the ticket and the money I sent him?" heasked. 

"He sold the ticket and he used all the money for the wedding, " the boyreplied. 

"The wedding?" Philip exclaimed. "What wedding?"

"The wedding with the widow, " said the boy. 

"The widow?" Philip and Marcus shouted in unison. "What widow?"

"The landlord's widow, " the boy answered shyly. 

And then as there seemed nothing else to do he buried his face in hishands and wept aloud. 

"Nu, Philip, " Marcus said, sitting down beside young Borrochson, "couldthe boy help it if his father is a _Ganef_?"

Philip made no reply, and presently Marcus stooped and picked up thebundle. 

"Come, " he said gently, "let's go up to the store. "

The journey uptown was not without its unpleasant features, for the sizeof the bundle not only barred them from both subway and elevated, butprovoked a Broadway car conductor to exhibit what Marcus considered tobe so biased and illiberal an attitude toward unrestricted immigrationthat he barely avoided a cerebral hemorrhage in resenting it. Theyfinally prevailed on the driver of a belt-line car to accept them aspassengers, and nearly half an hour elapsed before they arrived atDesbrosses Street; but after a dozen conductors in turn had declined tohonour their transfer tickets they made the rest of their journey onfoot. 

Philip and young Borrochson carried the offending bundle, for Marcusflatly declined to assist them. Indeed with every block his enthusiasmwaned, so that when they at length reached Wooster Street his feelingstoward his partner's nephew had undergone a complete change. 

"Don't fetch that thing in here, " he said as Philip and young Borrochsonentered the showroom with the bundle; "leave it in the shop. You got nobusiness to bring the young feller up here in the first place. "

"What do you mean bring him up here?" Philip cried. "If you wouldn'tbutt in at all I intended to take him to my sister's a cousin on PittStreet. "

Marcus threw his hat on a sample table and sat down heavily. 

"That's all the gratitude I am getting!" he declared with bitteremphasis. "Right in the busy season I dropped everything to help youout, and you turn on me like this. "

He rose to his feet suddenly, and seizing the bundle with both hands heflung it violently through the doorway. 

"Take him to Pitt Street, " he said. "Take him to the devil for all Icare. I am through with him. "

But Philip conducted his nephew no farther than round the corner onCanal Street, and when an hour later Yosel Borrochson returned with hisuncle his top-boots had been discarded forever, while his wrinkled, semi-military garb had been exchanged for a neat suit of Oxford gray. Moreover, both he and Philip had consumed a hearty meal of coffee androlls and were accordingly prepared to take a more cheerful outlook uponlife, especially Philip. 

"_Bleib du hier_, " he said as he led young Borrochson to a chair in thecutting room. "_Ich Komm bald zurück. _"

Then mindful of his partner's advice he broke into English. "Shtayhere, " he repeated in loud, staccato accents. "I would be right back. _Verstehst du?_"

"Yess-ss, " Yosel replied, uttering his first word of English. 

With a delighted grin Philip walked to the showroom, where Polatkin satwiping away the crumbs of a belated luncheon of two dozen zwieback and acan of coffee. 

"_Nu_, " he said conciliatingly, "what is it now?"

"Marcus, " Philip began with a nod of his head in the direction of thecutting room, "I want to show you something a picture. "

"A picture!" Polatkin repeated as he rose to his feet. "What do you meana picture?"

"Come, " Philip said; "I'll show you. "

He led the way to the cutting room, where Yosel sat awaiting his uncle'sreturn. 

"What do you think of him now?" Philip demanded. "Ain't he agood-looking young feller?"

Marcus shrugged in a non-committal manner. 

"Look what a bright eye he got it, " Philip insisted. "You could tell bylooking at him only that he comes from a good family. "

"He looks a boy like any other boy, " said Marcus. 

"But even if no one would told you, Marcus, you could see from hisforehead yet--and the big head he's got it--you could see thatsomewheres is _Rabonim_ in the family. "

"Yow!" Marcus exclaimed. "You could just so much see from his head thathis grandfather is a rabbi as you could see from his hands that hisfather is a crook. " He turned impatiently away. "So instead you shouldbe talking a lot of nonsense, Philip, you should set the boy to worksweeping the floor, " he continued. "Also for a beginning we would starthim in at three dollars a week, and if the boy gets worth it pretty soonwe could give him four. "

In teaching his nephew the English language Philip Scheikowitz adoptedno particular system of pedagogy, but he combined the methods ofOllendorf, Chardenal, Ahn and Polatkin so successfully that in a fewdays Joseph possessed a fairly extensive vocabulary. To be sure, everyother word was acquired at the cost of a clump over the side of thehead, but beyond a slight ringing of the left ear that persisted fornearly six months the Polatkin method of instruction vindicated itself, and by the end of the year Joseph's speech differed in no way from thatof his employers. 

"Ain't it something which you really could say is wonderful the way thatboy gets along?" Philip declared to his partner, as the firstanniversary of Joseph's landing approached. "Honestly, Marcus, that boytalks English like he would be born here already. "

"Sure, I know, " Marcus agreed. "He's got altogether too much to say forhimself. Only this morning he tells me he wants a raise to six dollars aweek. "

"Could you blame him?" Philip asked mildly. "He's doing good work here, Marcus. "

"Yow! he's doing good work!" Marcus exclaimed. "He's fresh likeanything, Scheikowitz. If you give him the least little encouragement, Scheikowitz, he would stand there and talk to you all day yet. "

"Not to me he don't, " Philip retorted. "Lots of times I am asking himquestions about the folks in the old country and always he tells me:'With greenhorns like them I don't bother myself at all. ' Calls hisfather a greenhorn yet!"

Marcus flapped his right hand in a gesture of impatience. 

"He could call his father a whole lot worse, " he said. "Why, that_Ganef_ ain't even wrote you at all since the boy comes over here. Notonly he's a crook, Scheikowitz, but he's got a heart like a brick. "

Philip shrugged his shoulders. 

"What difference does it make if he is a crook?" he rejoined. "The boy'sall right anyway. Yes, Marcus, the boy is something which you couldreally say is a jewel. "

"_Geh weg!_" Marcus cried disgustedly--"a jewel!"

"That's what I said, " Philip continued--"a jewel. Tell me, Marcus, howmany boys would you find it which they are getting from three to fivedollars a week and in one year saves up a hundred dollars, y'understand, and comes to me only this morning and says to me I should take the moneyfor what it costs to keep him while he is learning the language, and forbuying him his clothes when he first comes here. Supposing his father isa crook, Marcus, am I right or wrong?"

"Talk is cheap, Scheikowitz, " Marcus retorted. "He only says he wouldpay you the money, Scheikowitz, ain't it?"

Philip dug down into his pocket and produced a roll of ragged one andtwo dollar bills, which he flung angrily on to a sample table. 

"Count 'em, " he said. 

Marcus shrugged again. 

"What is it my business?" he said. "And anyhow, Scheikowitz, I must sayI'm surprised at you. A poor boy saves up a hundred dollars out of thelittle we are paying him here, and actually you are taking the moneyfrom him. Couldn't you afford it to spend on the boy a hundred dollars?"

"Sure I could, " Philip replied as he pocketed the bills. "Sure I couldand I'm going to too. I'm going to take this here money and put it inthe bank for the boy, with a hundred dollars to boot, Polatkin, and whenthe boy gets to be twenty-one he would anyhow got in savings bank acouple hundred dollars. "

Polatkin nodded shamefacedly. 

"Furthermore, Polatkin, " Philip continued, "if you got such a regard forthe boy which you say you got it, understand me, I would like to makeyou a proposition. Ever since Gifkin leaves us, y'understand, we got inour cutting room one _Schlemiel_ after another. Ain't it? Only yesterdaywe got to fire that young feller we took on last week, understand me, and if we get somebody else in his place to-day, Polatkin, the chancesis we would get rid of him to-morrow, and so it goes. "

Again Polatkin nodded. 

"So, therefore, what is the use talking, Polatkin?" Philip concluded. "Let us take Joe Borrochson and learn him he should be a cutter, and insix months' time, Polatkin, I bet yer he would be just so good a cutteras anybody. "

At this juncture Polatkin raised his hand with the palm outward. 

"Stop right there, Scheikowitz, " he said. "You are making a fool ofyourself, Scheikowitz, because, Scheikowitz, admitting for the sake ofno arguments about it that the boy is a good boy, understand me, afterall he's only a boy, ain't it, and if you are coming to make asixteen-year-old boy an assistant cutter, y'understand, the least thatwe could expect is that our customers fires half our goods back at us. "

"But----" Scheikowitz began. 

"But, nothing, Scheikowitz, " Polatkin interrupted. "This morning I seenit Meyer Gifkin on Canal Street and he ain't working for them suckers nomore; and I says to him is he willing to come back here at the samewages, and he says yes, providing you would see that this here fellerBorrochson wouldn't pretty near kill him. "

"What do you mean pretty near kill him?" Scheikowitz cried. "Do you meanto say he is afraid of a boy like Joe Borrochson?"

"Not Joe Borrochson, " Polatkin replied. "He is all the time thinkingthat your brother-in-law Borrochson comes over here with his boy and isworking in our place yet, and when I told him that that crook didn'tcome over at all Meyer says that's the first he hears about it or hewould have asked for his job back long since already. So he says hewould come in here to see us this afternoon. "

"But----" Scheikowitz began again. 

"Furthermore, " Polatkin continued hastily, "if I would got a nephew inmy place, Scheikowitz, I would a damsight sooner he stays working on thestock till he knows enough to sell goods on the road as that he learnsto be a cutter. Ain't it?"

Scheikowitz sighed heavily by way of surrender. 

"All right, Polatkin, " he said; "if you're so dead set on taking thishere feller Gifkin back go ahead. But one thing I must got to tell you:If you are taking a feller back which you fired once, understand me, heacts so independent you couldn't do nothing with him at all. "

"Leave that to me, " Polatkin said, as he started for the cutting room, and when Scheikowitz followed him he found that Gifkin had alreadyarrived. 

"_Wie gehts_, Mister Scheikowitz?" Gifkin cried, and Philip received thesalutation with a distant nod. 

"I hope you don't hold no hard feelings for me, " Gifkin began. 

"Me hold hard feelings for you?" Scheikowitz exclaimed. "I guess youforget yourself, Gifkin. A boss don't hold no hard feelings for a fellerwhich is working in the place, Gifkin; otherwise the feller gets firedand stays fired, Gifkin. "

At this juncture Polatkin in the rôle of peacemaker created a diversion. 

"Joe, " he called to young Borrochson, who was passing the cutting-roomdoor, "come in here a minute. "

He turned to Gifkin as Joe entered. 

"I guess you seen this young feller before?" he said. 

Gifkin looked hard at Joe for a minute. 

"I think I seen him before somewheres, " he replied. 

"Sure you seen him before, " Polatkin rejoined. "His name is Borrochson. "

"Borrochson!" Gifkin cried, and Joe, whose colour had heightened at theclose scrutiny to which he had been subjected, began to grow pale. 

"Sure, Yosel Borrochson, the son of your old neighbour, " Polatkinexplained, but Gifkin shook his head slowly. 

"That ain't Yosel Borrochson, " he declared, and then it was thatPolatkin and Scheikowitz first noticed Joe's embarrassment. Indeed evenas they gazed at him his features worked convulsively once or twice andhe dropped unconscious to the floor. 

In the scene of excitement that ensued Gifkin's avowed discovery wastemporarily forgotten, but when Joe was again restored to consciousnessPolatkin drew Gifkin aside and requested an explanation. 

"What do you mean the boy ain't Yosel Borrochson?" he demanded. 

"I mean the boy ain't Yosel Borrochson, " Gifkin replied deliberately. "Iknow this here boy, Mr. Polatkin, and, furthermore, Borrochson's boy isgot one bum eye, which he gets hit with a stone in it when he was onlyfour years old already. Don't I know it, Mr. Polatkin, when with my owneyes I seen this here boy throw the stone yet?"

"Well, then, who is this boy?" Marcus Polatkin insisted. 

"He's a boy by the name Lubliner, " Gifkin replied, "which his father wasPincus Lubliner, also a crook, Mr. Polatkin, which he would stealanything from a toothpick to an oitermobile, understand me. "

"Pincus Lubliner!" Polatkin repeated hoarsely. 

"That's who I said, " Gifkin continued, rushing headlong to hisdestruction. "Pincus Lubliner, which honestly, Mr. Polatkin, there'snothing that feller wouldn't do--a regular _Rosher_ if ever there wasone. "

For one brief moment Polatkin's eyes flashed angrily, and then with aresounding smack his open hand struck Gifkin's cheek. 

"Liar!" he shouted. "What do you mean by it?"

Scheikowitz, who had been tenderly bathing Joe Borrochson's head withwater, rushed forward at the sound of the blow. 

"Marcus, " he cried, "for Heaven's sake, what are you doing? Youshouldn't kill the feller just because he makes a mistake and thinks theboy ain't Joe Borrochson. "

"He makes too many mistakes, " Polatkin roared. "Calls Pincus Lubliner acrook and a murderer yet, which his mother was my own father's a sister. Did you ever hear the like?"

He made a threatening gesture toward Gifkin, who cowered in a chair. 

"Say, lookyhere, Marcus, " Scheikowitz asked, "what has Pincus Lublinergot to do with this?"

"He's got a whole lot to do with it, " Marcus replied, and then his eyesrested on Joe Borrochson, who had again lapsed into unconsciousness. 

"Oo-ee!" Marcus cried. "The poor boy is dead. "

He swept Philip aside and ran to the water-cooler, whence he returnedwith the drip-bucket brimming over. This he emptied on Joe Borrochson'srecumbent form, and after a quarter of an hour the recovery waspermanent. In the meantime Philip had interviewed Meyer Gifkin to suchgood purpose that when he entered the firm's office with Meyer Gifkin athis heels he was fairly spluttering with rage. 

"Thief!" he yelled. "Out of here before I make you arrested. "

"Who the devil you think you are talking to?" Marcus demanded. 

"I am talking to Joseph Borrochson, " Scheikowitz replied. "That's whoI'm talking to. "

"Well, there ain't no such person here, " Polatkin retorted. "There'shere only a young fellow by the name Elkan Lubliner, which he is my ownfather's sister a grandson, and he ain't no more a thief as you are. "

"Ain't he?" Philip retorted. "Well, all I can say is he is a thief andhis whole family is thieves, the one worser as the other. "

Marcus glowered at his partner. 

"You should be careful what you are speaking about, " he said. "Maybe youain't aware that this here boy's grandfather on his father's side was_Reb_ Mosha, the big _Lubliner Rav_, a _Chosid_ and a _Tzadek_ if everthere was one. "

"What difference does that make?" Philip demanded. "He is stealing mybrother-in-law's passage ticket anyhow. "

"I didn't steal it, " the former Joseph Borrochson cried. "My father paidhim good money for it, because Borrochson says he wanted it to marry thewidow with; and you also I am paying a hundred dollars. "

"Yow! Your father paid him good money for it!" Philip jeered. "A _Ganef_like your father is stealing the money, too, I bet yer. "

"_Oser a Stück_, " Polatkin declared. "I am sending him the money myselfto help bury his aunt, Mrs. Lebowitz. "

"You sent him the money?" Philip cried. "And your own partner you didn'ttell nothing about it at all!"

"What is it your business supposing I am sending money to the oldcountry?" Marcus retorted. "Do you ask me an advice when you are sendingaway money to the old country?"

"But the feller didn't bury his aunt at all, " Philip said. 

"Yes, he did too, " the former Joseph Borrochson protested. "Instead of ahundred dollars the funeral only costs fifty. Anybody could make anoverestimate. Ain't it?"

Marcus nodded. 

"The boy is right, Philip, " he said, "and anyhow what does this loafercome butting in here for?"

As he spoke he indicated Meyer Gifkin with a jerk of the chin. 

"He ain't butting in here, " Philip declared; "he comes in here because Itold him to. I want you should make an end of this nonsense, Polatkin, and hire a decent assistant cutter. Gifkin is willing to come back fortwenty dollars a week. "

"He is, is he?" Marcus cried. "Well, if he was willing to come back fortwenty dollars a week why didn't he come back before? Now it's toolate; I got other plans. Besides, twenty dollars is too much. "

"You know very well why I ain't come back before, Mr. Polatkin, " Gifkinprotested. "I was afraid for my life from that murderer Borrochson. "

Philip scowled suddenly. 

"My partner is right, Gifkin, " he said. "Twenty dollars is too much. "

"No, it ain't, " Gifkin declared. "If I would be still working for you, Mr. Scheikowitz, I would be getting more as twenty dollars by now. Andwas it my fault you are firing me? By rights I should have sued you inthe courts yet. "

"What d'ye mean sue us in the courts?" Philip exclaimed. He was growingincreasingly angry, but Gifkin heeded no warning. 

"Because you are firing me just for saying a crook is a crook, " Gifkinreplied, "and here lately you found out for yourself this hereBorrochson is nothing but a _Schwindler_--a _Ganef_. "

"What are you talking about--a _Schwindler_?" Philip cried, nowthoroughly aroused. "Ain't you heard the boy says Borrochson is marryingthe landlord's widow? Could a man get married on wind, Gifkin?"

"Yow! he married the landlord's widow!" Gifkin said. "I bet yer thatcrook gambles away the money; and, anyhow, could you believe anythingthis here boy tells you, Mr. Scheikowitz?"

The question fell on deaf ears, however, for at the repetition of theword crook Philip flung open the office door. 

"Out of here, " he roared, "before I kick you out. "

Simultaneously Marcus grabbed the luckless Gifkin by the collar, andjust what occurred between the office and the stairs could be deducedfrom the manner in which Marcus limped back to the office. 

"_Gott sei Dank_ we are rid of the fellow, " he said as he came in. 

 * * * * *

Although Philip Scheikowitz arrived at his place of business athalf-past seven the following morning he found that Marcus and ElkanLubliner had preceded him, for when he entered the showroom Marcusapproached with a broad grin on his face and pointed to the cuttingroom, where stood Elkan Lubliner. In the boy's right hand was clutched apair of cutter's shears, and guided by chalked lines he was laboriouslyslicing up a roll of sample paper. 

"Ain't he a picture?" Marcus exclaimed. 

"A picture!" Philip repeated. "What d'ye mean a picture?"

"Why, the way he stands there with them shears, Philip, " Marcus replied. "He's really what you could call a born cutter if ever there was one. "

"A cutter!" Philip cried. 

"Sure, " Marcus went on. "It's never too soon for a young feller tolearn all sides of his trade, Philip. He's been long enough on thestock. Now he should learn to be a cutter, and I bet yer in six months'time yet he would be just so good a cutter as anybody. "

Philip was too dazed to make any comment before Marcus obtained a freshstart. 

"A smart boy like him, Philip, learns awful quick, " he said. "Ain't itfunny how blood shows up? Now you take a boy like him which he comesfrom decent, respectable family, Philip, and he's got real gumption. Ithink I told you his grandfather on his father's side was a big rabbi, the _Lubliner Rav_. "

Philip nodded. 

"And even if I didn't told you, " Marcus went on, "you could tell it fromhis face. "

Again Philip nodded. 

"And another thing I want to talk to you about, " Marcus said, hasteningafter him: "the hundred dollars the boy gives you you should keep, Philip. And if you are spending more than that on the boy I would makeit good. "

Philip dug down absently into his trousers pocket and brought forth theroll of dirty bills. 

"Take it, " he said, throwing it toward his partner. "I don't want it. "

"What d'ye mean you don't want it?" Marcus cried. 

"I mean I ain't got no hard feelings against the boy, " Philip replied. "I am thinking it over all night, and I come to the conclusion so longas I started in being the boy's uncle I would continue that way. So youshould put the money in the savings bank like I says yesterday. "

"But----" Marcus protested. 

"But nothing, " Philip interrupted. "Do what I am telling you. "

Marcus blinked hard and cleared his throat with a great, rasping noise. 

"After all, " he said huskily, "it don't make no difference how manycrooks _oder Ganevim_ is in a feller's family, Philip, so long as he'sgot a good, straight business man for a partner. "

CHAPTER TWO

APPENWEIER'S ACCOUNT

HOW ELKAN LUBLINER GRADUATED INTO SALESMANSHIP

"When I hire a salesman, Mr. Klugfels, " said Marcus Polatkin, seniorpartner of Polatkin & Scheikowitz, "I hire him because he's a salesman, not because he's a nephew. "

"But it don't do any harm for a salesman to have an uncle whose concernwould buy in one season from you already ten thousand dollars goods, Mr. Polatkin, " Klugfels insisted. "Furthermore, Harry is a bright, smartboy; and you can take it from me, Mr. Polatkin, not alone he would getmy trade, but us buyers is got a whole lot of influence one with theother, understand me; so, if there's any other concern you haven't onyour books at present, you could rely on me I should do my best forHarry and you. "

Thus spoke Mr. Felix Klugfels, buyer for Appenweier & Murray'sThirty-second Street store, on the first Monday of January; and inconsequence on the second Monday of January Harry Flaxberg came to workas city salesman for Polatkin & Scheikowitz. He also maintained the rôleof party of the second part in a contract drawn by Henry D. Feldman, whose skill in such matters is too well known for comment here. Sufficient to say it fixed Harry Flaxberg's compensation at thirtydollars a week and moderate commissions. At Polatkin's request, however, the document was so worded that it excluded Flaxberg from selling any ofthe concerns already on Polatkin & Scheikowitz's books; for not only didhe doubt Flaxberg's ability as a salesman, but he was quite conscious ofthe circumstance that, save for the acquisition of Appenweier & Murray'saccount, there was no need of their hiring a city salesman at all, sincethe scope of their business operations required only one salesman--towit, as the lawyers say, Marcus Polatkin himself. On the other hand, Klugfels had insisted upon the safeguarding of his nephew's interests, so that the latter was reasonably certain of a year's steady employment. Hence, when, on the first Monday of February, Appenweier & Murraydispensed with the services of Mr. Klugfels before he had had theopportunity of bestowing even one order on his nephew as a mark of hisfavour, the business premises of Polatkin & Scheikowitz became forthwitha house of mourning. From the stricken principals down to and includingthe shipping clerk nothing else was spoken of or thought about for aperiod of more than two weeks. Neither was it a source of muchconsolation to Marcus Polatkin when he heard that Klugfels had beensupplanted by Max Lapin, a third cousin of Leon Sammet of the firm ofSammet Brothers. 

"Ain't it terrible the way people is related nowadays?" he said toScheikowitz, who had just read aloud the news of Max Lapin's hiring inthe columns of the _Daily Cloak and Suit Record_. 

"Honestly, Scheikowitz, if a feller ain't got a lot of retailers _oder_buyers for distance relations, understand me, he might just so well goout of business and be done with it!"

Scheikowitz threw down the paper impatiently. 

"That's where you are making a big mistake, Polatkin, " he said. "Afeller which he expects to do business with relations is just so good aslooking for trouble. You could never depend on relations that they aregoing to keep on buying goods from you, Polatkin. The least little thinghappens between relations, understand me, and they are getting rightaway enemies for life; while, if it was just between friends, Polatkin, one friend makes for the other a blue eye, understand me, and in twoweeks' time they are just so good friends as ever. So, even ifAppenweier & Murray wouldn't fire him, y'understand, Klugfels would havedumped this young feller on us anyway. "

As he spoke he looked through the office door toward the showroom, where Harry Flaxberg sat with his feet cocked up on a sample tablemidway in the perusal of the sporting page. 

"Flaxberg, " Scheikowitz cried, "what are we showing hereanyway--garments _oder_ shoes? You are ruining our sample tables the wayyou are acting!"

Flaxberg replaced his feet on the floor and put down his paper. 

"It's time some one ruined them tables on you, Mr. Scheikowitz, " hesaid. "With the junk fixtures you got it here I'm ashamed to bring acustomer into the place at all. "

"That's all right, " Scheikowitz retorted; "for all the customers you arebringing in here, Flaxberg, we needn't got no fixtures at all. Comeinside the office--my partner wants to speak to you a few wordssomething. "

Flaxberg rose leisurely to his feet and, carefully shaking each leg inturn to restore the unwrinkled perfection of his trousers, walked towardthe office. 

"Tell me, Flaxberg, " Polatkin cried as he entered, "what are you goingto do about this here account of Appenweier & Murray's?"

"What am I going to do about it?" Flaxberg repeated. "Why, what could Ido about it? Every salesman is liable to lose one account, Mr. Polatkin. "

"Sure, I know, " Polatkin answered; "but most every other salesman is gotsome other accounts to fall back on. Whereas if a salesman is just gotone account, Flaxberg, and he loses it, understand me, then he ain't asalesman no longer, Flaxberg. Right away he becomes only a loafer, Flaxberg, and the best thing he could do, understand me, is to go andfind a job somewheres else. "

"Not when he's got a contract, Mr. Polatkin, " Flaxberg retortedpromptly. "And specially a contract which the boss fixes uphimself--ain't it?"

Scheikowitz nodded and scowled savagely at his partner. 

"Listen here to me, Flaxberg, " Polatkin cried. "Do you mean to told methat, even if a salesman would got ever so much a crazy contract, understand me, it allows the salesman he should sit all the time doingnothing in the showroom without we got a right to fire him?"

"Well, " Flaxberg replied calmly, "it gives him the privilege to go outto lunch once in a while. "

He pulled down his waistcoat with exaggerated care and turned on hisheel. 

"So I would be back in an hour, " he concluded; "and if any customerscome in and ask for me tell 'em to take a seat till I am coming back. "

The two partners watched him until he put on his hat and coat in therear of the showroom and then Polatkin rose to his feet. 

"Flaxberg, " he cried, "wait a minute!"

Flaxberg returned to the office and nonchalantly lit a cigarette. 

"Listen here to me, Flaxberg, " Polatkin began. "Take from us a hundredand fifty dollars and quit!"

Flaxberg continued the operation of lighting his cigarette and blew agreat cloud of smoke before replying. 

"What for a piker do you think I am anyhow?" he asked. 

"What d'ye mean--piker?" Polatkin said. "A hundred and fifty ain't to besneezed at, Flaxberg. "

"Ain't it?" Flaxberg retorted. "Well, with me, I got a more delicatenose as most people, Mr. Polatkin. I sneeze at everything under fivehundred dollars--and that's all there is to it. "

Once more he turned on his heel and walked out of the office; but thistime his progress toward the stairs was more deliberate, for, despitehis defiant attitude, Flaxberg's finances were at low ebb owing to amarked reversal of form exhibited the previous day in the third race atNew Orleans. Moreover, he felt confident that a judicious investment ofa hundred and fifty dollars would net him that very afternoon at leastfive hundred dollars, if any reliance were to be placed on the selectionof Merlando, the eminent sporting writer of the _Morning Wireless_. 

Consequently he afforded every opportunity for Marcus to call him back, and he even paused at the factory door and applied a lighted match tohis already burning cigarette. The expected summons failed, however, and instead he was nearly precipitated to the foot of the stairs by noless a person than Elkan Lubliner. 

"Excuse me, Mr. Flaxberg, " Elkan said. "I ain't seen you at all. "

Flaxberg turned suddenly, but at the sight of Elkan his anger evaporatedas he recalled a piece of gossip retailed by Sam Markulies, the shippingclerk, to the effect that, despite his eighteen years, Elkan had atleast two savings-bank accounts and kept in his pocket a bundle of billsas large as a roll of piece goods. 

"That's all right, " Flaxberg cried with a forced grin. "I ain'tsurprised you are pretty near blinded when you are coming into thedaylight out of the cutting room. It's dark in there like a tomb. "

"I bet yer, " Elkan said fervently. 

"You should get into the air more often, " Flaxberg went on. "A fellercould get all sorts of things the matter with him staying in a hole likethat. "

"_Gott sei dank_ I got, anyhow, my health, " Elkan commented. 

"Sure, I know, " Flaxberg said as they reached the street; "but you mustgot to take care of it too. A feller which he don't get no exerciseshould ought to eat well, Lubliner. For instance, I bet yer you aretaking every day your lunch in a bakery--ain't it?"

Elkan nodded. 

"Well, there you are!" Flaxberg cried triumphantly. "A feller works allthe time in a dark hole like that cutting room, and comes lunchtime he_fresses_ a bunch of _Kuchen_ and a cup of coffee, _verstehst du_--andis it any wonder you are looking sick?"

"I feel all right, " Elkan said. 

"I know you feel all right, " Flaxberg continued, "but you look somethingterrible, Lubliner. Just for to-day, Lubliner, take my advice and tryWasserbauer's regular dinner. "

Elkan laughed aloud. 

"Wasserbauer's!" he exclaimed. "Why, what do you think I am, Mr. Flaxberg? If I would be a salesman like you, Mr. Flaxberg, I would say, 'Yes; eat once in a while at Wasserbauer's'; _aber_ for an assistantcutter, Mr. Flaxberg, Wasserbauer's is just so high like the Waldorfer. "

"That's all right, " Flaxberg retorted airily. "No one asks you youshould pay for it. Come and have a decent meal with me. "

For a brief interval Elkan hesitated, but at length he surrendered, andfive minutes later he found himself seated opposite Harry Flaxberg inthe rear of Wasserbauer's café. 

"Yes, Mr. Flaxberg, " he said as he commenced the fourth of a series ofdill pickles, "compared with a salesman, a cutter is a dawg'slife--ain't it?"

"Well, " Flaxberg commented, "he is and he isn't. There's no reason why acutter shouldn't enjoy life too, Lubliner. A cutter could make money onthe side just so good as a salesman. I am acquainted already with apants cutter by the name Schmul Kleidermann which, one afternoon lastweek, he pulls down two hundred and fifty dollars yet. "

"Pulls down two hundred and fifty dollars!" Elkan exclaimed. "From wherehe pulls it down, Mr. Flaxberg?"

"Not from the pants business _oser_, " Flaxberg replied. "The fellerreads the papers, Lubliner, and that's how he makes his money. "

"You mean he is speculating in these here stocks from stock exchanges?"Elkan asked. 

"Not stocks, " Flaxberg replied in shocked accents. "From _spieling_ thestock markets a feller could lose his shirt yet. Never play the stockmarkets, Lubliner. That's something which you could really say a fellerruins himself for life with. "

Elkan nodded. 

"Even _im Russland_ it's the same, " he said. 

"Sure, " Flaxberg went on. "_Aber_ this feller Kleidermann he makes astudy of it. The name of the horse was Prince Faithful. On New Year'sDay he runs fourth in a field of six. The next week he is in the moneyfor a show with such old-timers as Aurora Borealis, Dixie Lad andRamble Home--and last week he gets away with it six to one a winner, understand me; and this afternoon yet, over to Judge Crowley's, I couldget a price five to two a place, understand me, which it is like pickingup money in the street already. "

Elkan paused in the process of commencing the sixth pickle and gazed inwide-eyed astonishment at his host. 

"So you see, Lubliner, " Flaxberg concluded, "if you would put up twentydollars, understand me, you could make fifty dollars more, like turningyour hand over. "

Elkan laid down his half-eaten pickle. 

"Do you mean to say you want me I should put up twenty dollars on ahorse which it is running with other horses a race?" he exclaimed. 

"Well, " Flaxberg replied, "of course, if you got objections to puttingup money on a horse, Lubliner, why, don't do it. Lend it me instead thetwenty dollars and I would play it; and if the horse should--_Gott sollhüten_--not be in the money, y'understand, then I would give you thetwenty dollars back Saturday at the latest. _Aber_ if the horse makes aplace, understand me, then I would give you your money back thisafternoon yet and ten dollars to boot. "

For one wavering moment Elkan raised the pickle to his lips and thenreplaced it on the table. Then he licked off his fingers and exploredthe recess of his waistcoat pocket. 

"Here, " he said, producing a dime--"here is for the dill pickles, Mr. Flaxberg. "

"What d'ye mean?" Flaxberg cried. 

"I mean this, " Elkan said, putting on his hat--"I mean you should saveyour money with me and blow instead your friend Kleidermann to dinner, because the proposition ain't attractive. "

 * * * * *

"Yes, Mr. Redman, " Elkan commented when he resumed his duties asassistant cutter after the five and a half dill pickles had beensupplemented with a hasty meal of rolls and coffee, "for a _Schlemiel_like him to call himself a salesman--honestly, it's a disgrace!"

He addressed his remarks to Joseph Redman, head cutter for Polatkin &Scheikowitz, who plied his shears industriously at an adjoining table. Joseph, like every other employee of Polatkin & Scheikowitz, wasthoroughly acquainted with the details of Flaxberg's hiring and itsdénouement. Nevertheless, in his quality of head cutter, he professed abecoming ignorance. 

"Who is this which you are knocking now?" he asked. 

"I am knocking some one which he's got a right to be knocked, " Elkanreplied. "I am knocking this here feller Flaxberg, which he callshimself a salesman. That feller couldn't sell a drink of water in theSahara Desert, Mr. Redman. All he cares about is gambling and going ontheaytres. Why, if I would be in his shoes, Mr. Redman, I wouldn't eator I wouldn't sleep till I got from Appenweier & Murray an order. Nevermind if my uncle would be fired and Mr. Lapin, the new buyer, is arelation from Sammet Brothers, Mr. Redman, I would get that account, understand me, or I would _verplatz_. "

"_Yow_, you would do wonders!" Redman said. "The best thing you coulddo, Lubliner, is to close up your face and get to work. You shouldn'tgot so much to say for yourself. A big mouth is only for a salesman, Lubliner. For a cutter it's nix, understand me; so you should give me arest with this here Appenweier & Murray's account and get busy on them2060's. We are behind with 'em as it is. "

Thus admonished, Elkan lapsed into silence; and for more than half anhour he pursued his duties diligently. 

"_Nu!_" Redman said at length. "What's the matter you are acting soquiet this afternoon?"

"What d'ye mean I am acting quiet, Mr. Redman?" Elkan asked. "I amthinking--that's all. Without a feller would think once in a while, Mr. Redman, he remains a cutter all his life. "

"There's worser things as cutters, " Redman commented. "Forinstance--assistant cutters. "

"Sure, I know, " Elkan agreed; "but salesmen is a whole lot better ascutters _oder_ assistant cutters. A salesman sees life, Mr. Redman. Hemeets oncet in a while people, Mr. Redman; while, with us, what is it?We are shut up here like we would be sitting in prison--ain't it?"

"You ain't got no kick coming, " Redman said. "A young feller only goingon eighteen, understand me, is getting ten dollars a week and he kicksyet. Sitting in prison, _sagt er_! Maybe you would like the concern theyshould be putting in moving pictures here or a phonygraft!"

Elkan sighed heavily by way of reply and for a quarter of an hour longerhe worked in quietness, until Redman grew worried at his assistant'sunusual taciturnity. 

"What's the trouble you ain't talking, Lubliner?" he said. "Don't youfeel so good?"

Elkan looked up. He was about to say that he felt all right whensuddenly he received the germ of an inspiration, and in the few secondsthat he hesitated it blossomed into a well-defined plan of action. Hetherefore emitted a faint groan and laid down his shears. 

"I got a _krank_ right here, " he said, placing his hand on his leftside. "Ever since last week I got it. "

"Well, why don't you say something about it before?" Redman criedanxiously; for be it remembered that Elkan Lubliner was not only thecousin of Marcus Polatkin but the adopted nephew of Philip Scheikowitzas well. "You shouldn't let such things go. "

"The fact is, " Elkan replied, "I didn't want to say nothing about it toMr. Polatkin on account he's got enough to worry him with this hereAppenweier & Murray's account; and----"

"You got that account on the brain, " Redman interrupted. "If you don'tfeel so good you should go home. Leave me fix it for you. "

As he spoke he hastily buttoned on his collar and left the cutting room, while Elkan could not forego a delighted grin. After all, he reflected, he had worked steadily for over a year and a half with only suchholidays as the orthodox ritual ordained; and he was so busy makingplans for his first afternoon of freedom that he nearly forgot to groanagain when Redman came back with Marcus Polatkin at his heels. 

"_Nu_, Elkan!" Marcus said. "What's the matter? Don't you feel good?"

"I got a _krank_ right here, " Elkan replied, placing his hand on hisright side. "I got it now pretty near a week already. "

"Well, maybe you should sit down for the rest of the afternoon and fileaway the old cutting slips, " Marcus said, whereat Elkan moaned andclosed his eyes. 

"I filed 'em away last week already, " he murmured. "I think maybe if Iwould lay in bed the rest of the afternoon I would be all rightto-morrow. "

Marcus gazed earnestly at his cousin, whose sufferings seemed to beintensified thereby. 

"All right, Elkan, " he said. "Go ahead. Go home and tell Mrs. Feinermannshe should give you a little _Brusttee_; and if you don't feel better inthe morning don't take it so particular to get here early. "

Elkan nodded weakly and five minutes later walked slowly out of thefactory. He took the stairs only a little less slowly, but he graduallyincreased his speed as he proceeded along Wooster Street, until by thetime he was out of sight of the firm's office windows he was fairlyrunning. Thus he arrived at his boarding place on Pitt Street in lessthan half an hour--just in time to interrupt Mrs. Sarah Feinermann asshe was about to start on a shopping excursion uptown. Mrs. Feinermannexclaimed aloud at the sight of him, and her complexion grew perceptiblyless florid, for his advent in Pitt Street at that early hour could havebut one meaning. 

"What's the matter--you are getting fired?" she asked. 

"What d'ye mean--getting fired?" Elkan replied. "I ain't fired. I got anafternoon off. "

Mrs. Feinermann heaved a sigh of relief. As the recipient of Elkan'sfive dollars a week board-money, payable strictly in advance, shenaturally evinced a hearty interest in his financial affairs. Moreover, she was distantly related to Elkan's father; and owing to this kinshipher husband, Marx Feinermann, foreman for Kupferberg Brothers, was ofthe impression that she charged Elkan only three dollars and fifty centsa week. The underestimate more than paid Mrs. Feinermann's millinerybill, and she was consequently under the necessity of buying Elkan'ssilence with small items of laundry work and an occasional egg forbreakfast. This arrangement suited Elkan very well indeed; and though hehad eaten his lunch only an hour previously he thought it the part ofprudence to insist that she prepare a meal for him, by way ofmaintaining his privileges as Mrs. Feinermann's fellow conspirator. 

"But I am just now getting dressed to go uptown, " she protested. 

"Where to?" he demanded. 

"I got a little shopping to do, " she said; and Elkan snapped his fingersin the conception of a brilliant idea. 

"Good!" he exclaimed. "I would go with you. In three minutes I wouldwash myself and change my clothes--and I'll be right with you. "

"But I got to stop in and see Marx first, " she insisted. "I want to tellhim something. "

"I wanted to tell him something lots of times already, " Elkan saidsignificantly; and Mrs. Feinermann sat down in the nearest chair whileElkan disappeared into the adjoining room and performed a hasty toilet. 

"_Schon gut_, " he said as he emerged from his room five minutes later;"we would go right up to Appenweier & Murray's. "

"But I ain't said I am going up to Appenweier & Murray's, " Mrs. Feinermann cried. "Such a high-price place I couldn't afford to dealwith at all. "

"I didn't say you could, " Elkan replied; "but it don't do no harm to getyourself used to such places, on account might before long you couldafford to deal there maybe. "

"What d'ye mean I could afford to deal there before long?" Mrs. Feinermann inquired. 

"I mean this, " Elkan said, and they started down the stairs--"I mean, ifthings turn out like the way I want 'em to, instead of five dollars aweek I would give you five dollars and fifty cents a week. " Here hepaused on the stair-landing to let the news sink in. 

"And furthermore, if you would act the way I tell you to when we get upthere I would also pay your carfare, " he concluded--"one way. "

 * * * * *

When Mrs. Feinermann entered Appenweier & Murray's store that afternoonshe was immediately accosted by a floorwalker. 

"What do you wish, madam?" he said. 

"I want to buy something a dress for my wife, " Elkan volunteered, stepping from behind the shadow of Mrs. Feinermann, who for herthirty-odd years was, to say the least, buxom. 

"Your wife?" the floorwalker repeated. 

"Sure; why not?" Elkan replied. "Maybe I am looking young, but inreality I am old; so you should please show us the dress department, from twenty-two-fifty to twenty-eight dollars the garment. "

The floorwalker ushered them into the elevator and they alighted at thesecond floor. 

"Miss Holzmeyer!" the floorwalker cried; and in response thereapproached a lady of uncertain age but of no uncertain methods ofsalesmanship. She was garbed in a silk gown that might have graced theperson of an Austrian grand duchess, and she rustled and swished as shewalked toward them in what she had always found to be a most impressivemanner. 

"The lady wants to see some dresses, " the floorwalker said; and MissHolzmeyer smiled by a rather complicated process, in which her nosewrinkled until it drew up the corners of her mouth and made her eyesappear to rest like shoe-buttons on the tops of her powdered cheeks. 

"This way, madam, " she said as she swung her skirts round noisily. 

"One moment, " Elkan interrupted, for again he had been totally eclipsedby Mrs. Feinermann's bulky figure. "You ain't heard what my wife wantsyet. "

"Your wife!" Miss Holzmeyer exclaimed. 

"Sure, my wife, " Elkan replied calmly. "This is my wife if it's all thesame to you and you ain't got no objections. "

He gazed steadily at Miss Holzmeyer, who began to find her definitemethods of salesmanship growing less definite, until she blushedvividly. 

"Not at all, " she said. "Step this way, please. "

"Yes, Miss Holzmeyer, " Elkan went on without moving, "as I was tellingyou, you ain't found out yet what my wife wants, on account a dresscould be from twenty dollars the garment up to a hundred and fifty. "

"We have dresses here as high as three hundred!" Miss Holzmeyer snapped. She had discerned that she was beginning to be embarrassed in thepresence of this self-possessed benedick of youthful appearance, and sheresented it accordingly. 

"I ain't doubting it for a minute, " Elkan replied. "New York is full ofsuckers, Miss Holzmeyer; but me and my wife is looking for somethingfrom twenty-two-fifty to twenty-eight dollars, Miss Holzmeyer. "

Miss Holzmeyer's temper mounted with each repetition of her surname, andher final "Step this way, please!" was uttered in tones fairly tremulouswith rage. 

Elkan obeyed so leisurely that by the time Mrs. Feinermann and he hadreached the rear of the showroom Miss Holzmeyer had hung three dresseson the back of a chair. 

"H'allow me, " Elkan said as he took the topmost gown by the shouldersand held it up in front of him. He shook out the folds and for more thanfive minutes examined it closely. 

"I didn't want to see nothing for seventeen-fifty, " he announced atlast--"especially from last year's style. "

"What do you mean?" Miss Holzmeyer cried angrily. "That dress is markedtwenty-eight dollars and it just came in last week. It's a very smartmodel indeed. "

"The model I don't know nothing about, " Elkan replied, "but the salesmanmust of been pretty smart to stuck you folks like that. "

He subjected another gown to a careful scrutiny while Miss Holzmeyersought the showcases for more garments. 

"Now, this one here, " he said, "is better value. How much you are askingfor this one, please?"

Miss Holzmeyer glanced at the price ticket. 

"Twenty-eight dollars, " she replied, with an indignant glare. 

Elkan whistled incredulously. 

"You don't tell me, " he said. "I always heard it that the expenses ishigh uptown, but even if the walls was hung _mit_ diamonds yet, MissHolzmeyer, your bosses wouldn't starve neither. Do you got maybe a dressfor twenty-eight dollars which it is worth, anyhow, twenty-fivedollars?"

This last jibe was too much for Miss Holzmeyer. 

"Mis-ter Lap-in!" she howled, and immediately a glazed mahogany door inan adjoining partition burst open and Max Lapin appeared on the floor ofthe showroom. 

"What's the matter?" he asked. 

Miss Holzmeyer sat down in the nearest chair and fanned herself with herpocket handkerchief. 

"This man insulted me!" she said; whereat Max Lapin turned savagely toElkan. 

"What for you are insulting this lady?" he demanded as he made a rapidsurvey of Elkan's physical development. He was quite prepared to defendMiss Holzmeyer's honour in a fitting and manly fashion; but, during thefew seconds that supervened his question, Max reflected that you cannever tell about a small man. 

"What d'ye mean insult this lady?" Elkan asked stoutly. "I never says aword to her. Maybe I ain't so long in the country as you are, but I gotjust so much respect for the old folks as anybody. Furthermore, she isshowing me here garments which, honest, Mister--er----"

"Lapin, " Max said. 

"Mister Lapin, a house with the reputation of Appenweier & Murrayshouldn't ought to got in stock at all. "

"Say, lookyhere, young feller, " Lapin cried, "what are you driving intoanyway? I am buyer here, and if you got any kick coming tell it to me, and don't go insulting the salesladies. "

"I ain't insulted no saleslady, Mr. Lapin, " Elkan declared. "I am cominghere to buy for my wife a dress and certainly I want to get for my moneysome decent value; and when this lady shows me a garment like this"--heheld up the topmost garment--"and says it is from this year a model, understand me, naturally I got my own idees on the subject. "

Lapin looked critically at the garment in question. 

"Did you get this style from that third case there, Miss Holzmeyer?" heasked, and Miss Holzmeyer nodded. 

"Well, that whole case is full of leftovers and I don't want ittouched, " Lapin said. "Now go ahead and show this gentleman's wife somemore models; and if he gets fresh let me know--that's all. "

"One minute, Mr. Lapin, " Elkan said. "Will you do me the favour and letme show you something?"

He held up the garment last exhibited by Miss Holzmeyer and pointed tothe yoke and its border. 

"This here garment Miss Holzmeyer shows me for twenty-eight dollars, Mr. Lapin, " he said, "and with me and my wife here a dollar means to uslike two dollars to most people, Mr. Lapin. So when I am seeing theprecisely selfsame garment like this in Fine Brothers' for twenty-sixdollars, but the border is from silk embroidery, a peacock's taildesign, and the yoke is from gilt net yet, understand me, I got to saysomething--ain't it?"

Lapin paused in his progress toward his office and even as he did soElkan's eyes strayed to a glass-covered showcase. 

"Why, there is a garment just like Fine Brothers' model!" he exclaimed. 

"Say, lookyhere!" Lapin demanded as he strode up to the showcase andpulled out the costume indicated by Elkan. "What are you trying to tellme? This here model is thirty-seven dollars and fifty cents; so, if youcan get it for twenty-six at Fine Brothers', go ahead and do it!"

"But, Mr. Lapin, " Elkan said, "that ain't no way for a buyer of a bigconcern like this to talk. I am telling you, so sure as you are standingthere and I should never move from this spot, the identical selfsamestyle Fine Brothers got it for twenty-six dollars. I know it, Mr. Lapin, because we are making up that garment in our factory yet, and FineBrothers takes from us six of that model at eighteen-fifty apiece. "

At this unguarded disclosure Lapin's face grew crimson with rage. 

"You are making it up in your factory!" he cried. "Why, you dirty fakeryou, what the devil you are coming round here bluffing that you want tobuy a dress for your wife for?"

Elkan broke into a cold perspiration and looked round for Mrs. Feinermann, the substantial evidence of his marital state; but at thevery beginning of Max Lapin's indignant outburst she had discreetlytaken the first stairway to the right. 

"Bring that woman back here!" Max roared. Miss Holzmeyer made a dash forthe stairway, and before Elkan had time to formulate even a tentativeplan of escape she had returned with her quarry. 

"What do you want from me?" Mrs. Feinermann gasped. Her hat was awry, and what had once been a modish pompadour was toppled to one side andshed hairpins with every palsied nod of her head. "I ain't donenothing!" she protested. 

"Sure, you ain't, " Elkan said; "so you should keep your mouthshut--that's all. "

"I would keep my mouth shut _oder_ not as I please, " Mrs. Feinermannretorted. "Furthermore, you ain't got no business to get me mixed up inthis _Geschichte_ at all!"

"Who are you two anyway?" Max demanded. 

"This here feller is a young feller by the name of Elkan Lubliner whichhe is working by Polatkin & Scheikowitz, " Mrs. Feinermann announced;"and what he is bringing me up here for is more than I could tell you. "

"Ain't he your husband?" Max asked. 

"_Oser a Stück!_" Mrs. Feinermann declared fervently. "A kid like himshould be my husband! An idee!"

"That's all right, " Elkan rejoined. "_Im Russland_ at my age many ayoung feller is got twins yet!"

"What's that got to do with it?" Max Lapin demanded. 

"It ain't got nothing to do with it, " Elkan said, "but it shows that ayoung feller like me which he is raised in the old country ain't such akid as you think for, Mr. Lapin. And when I am telling you that theconcern which sells you them goods to retail for twenty-eight dollars issticking you good, understand me, you could take my word for it just thesame like I would be fifty-five even. "

Again he seized one of the garments. 

"And what's more, " he went on breathlessly, "the workmanship is rotten. Look at here!--the seams is falling to pieces already!"

He thrust the garment under Lapin's nose with one hand, while with theother he dug down into his trousers pocket. 

"Here!" he shouted. "Here is money--fifty dollars!"

He dropped the gown and held out a roll of bills toward Lapin. 

"Take it!" he said hysterically. "Take it all; and if I don't bring youto-morrow morning, first thing, this same identical style, onlyA-number-one workmanship, which you could retail for twenty dollars agarment, understand me, keep the money and _fertig_. "

At this juncture the well-nourished figure of Louis Appenweier, seniormember of Appenweier & Murray, appeared in the door of the elevator andMax Lapin turned on his heel. 

"Come into my office, " he hissed; and as he started for the glazedmahogany door he gathered up the remaining garments and took them withhim. 

For more than half an hour Elkan and Max Lapin remained closetedtogether, and during that period Elkan conducted a clinic over eachgarment to such good purpose that Max sent out from time to time formore expensive styles. All of these were in turn examined by Elkan, whorecognized in at least six models the designs of Joseph Redman, slightlyaltered in the stealing by Leon Sammet. 

"Yes, Mr. Lapin, " Elkan said, "them models was all designed by our owndesigner and some one _ganvered_ 'em on us. Furthermore, I could bringyou here to-morrow morning at eight o'clock from our sample racks thesesame identical models, with the prices on 'em marked plain like thefigures on a ten-dollar bill, understand me; and if they ain't fromtwenty to thirty per cent. Lower as you paid for these here garments I'deat 'em!"

For at least ten minutes Max Lapin sat with knitted brows and ponderedElkan's words. 

"Eight o'clock is too early, " he announced at last. "Make it half-pastnine. "

"Six, even, ain't too early for an up-to-date buyer to look at somegenuine bargains, " Elkan insisted; "and, besides, I must got to get backto the shop at nine. "

"But----" Lapin began. 

"But nothing, Mr. Lapin, " Elkan said, rising to his feet. "Make it eighto'clock, and the next time I would come round at half-past nine. "

"What d'ye mean the next time?" Lapin exclaimed. 

"I mean this wouldn't be the last time we do business together, becausethe job as assistant cutter which I got it is just temporary, Mr. Lapin, " he said as he started for the door--"just temporary--that'sall. "

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. 

"See you at eight o'clock to-morrow morning, " he said cheerfully; andfive minutes later he was having hard work to keep from dancing his waydown Thirty-third Street to the subway. 

 * * * * *

From half-past seven in the morning until six at night were the workinghours of all Polatkin & Scheikowitz's employees, save only SamMarkulies, the shipping clerk, whose duty it was to unlock the shop atquarter-past seven sharp. This hour had been fixed by Philip Scheikowitzhimself, who, on an average of once a month, would stroll into theshipping department at closing-time and announce his intention of goingto a wedding that evening. Sometimes the proposed excursion was apinocle party or a visit to the theatre, but the dénouement was alwaysthe same. The next morning Scheikowitz would arrive at the factory doorprecisely at quarter-past seven to find Markulies from five to tenminutes late; whereupon Markulies would receive his discharge, to takeeffect the following Saturday night--and for the ensuing month hispunctuality was assured. 

During the quarter of an hour which preceded the arrival of the otheremployees, Markulies usually dusted the office and showroom; and on themorning following Elkan's holiday this solitary duty was cheered by thepresence of Harry Flaxberg. Harry had sought the advice of counsel theprevious day and had been warned against tardiness as an excuse for hisdischarge; so he was lounging on the sidewalk long before Markulies'sarrival that morning. 

"_Nu_, Mr. Flaxberg, " Markulies cried, "what brings you round so early?"

"I couldn't sleep last night, " Flaxberg said; "so I thought I might justso well be here as anywhere. "

"Ain't that the funniest thing!" Markulies cried. "Me I couldn't sleepneither. I got something on my mind. "

He unlocked the door as he spoke; and as he passed up the stairs hedeclared again that he had something on his mind. 

"_Yow!_" Flaxberg said. "I should got your worries, Markulies. Thesimple little things which a shipping clerk must got to do would _oser_give anybody the nervous prostration. "

"Is that so?" Markulies retorted. "Well, I ain't just the shipping clerkhere, Mr. Flaxberg. You must remember I am in charge with the keys also, Mr. Flaxberg; and I got responsibilities if some one _ganvers_ a couplesample garments once in a while, y'understand--right away they wouldaccuse me that I done it. "

"Don't worry yourself, Markulies, " Flaxberg said. "I ain't going to_ganver_ no garments on you--not this morning anyhow. "

"You I ain't worrying about at all, " Markulies rejoined; "but that youngbloodsucker, Lubliner, Mr. Flaxberg--that's something else again. Actually that young feller is to me something which you could reallycall a thorn in my pants, Mr. Flaxberg. Just because he is assistantcutter here and I am only the shipping clerk he treats me like I wouldbe the dirt under his feet. Only last night, Mr. Flaxberg, I am lockingup the place when that feller comes up the stairs and says to me Ishould give him the key, as he forgets a package which he left behindhim. Mind you, it is already half-past six, Mr. Flaxberg; and ever sinceI am living up in the Bronix, Mr. Flaxberg, I am getting kicked out ofsix places where I am boarding on account no respectable family wouldstand it, Mr. Flaxberg, that a feller comes, night after night, nineo'clock to his dinner. "

"You was telling me about Lubliner, " Flaxberg reminded him. 

"Sure, I know, " Markulies continued. "So I says to him the place isclosed and that's all there is to it. With that, Mr. Flaxberg, thefeller takes back his hand--so--and he gives me a _schlag_ in thestummick, which, honest, if he wouldn't be from Mr. Polatkin a relation, Mr. Flaxberg, I would right then and there killed him. "

For two minutes he patted gently that portion of his anatomy whereElkan's blow had landed. 

"He's a dangerous feller, Mr. Flaxberg, " he went on, "because, just sosoon as he opens the door after I am giving him the key, Mr. Flaxberg, he shuts it in my face and springs the bolt on me, Mr. Flaxberg--andthere I am standing _bis_ pretty near eight o'clock, understand me, tillthat feller comes out again. By the time I am at my room on BrookAvenue, Mr. Flaxberg, the way Mrs. Kaller speaks to me you would think Iwas a dawg yet. How should I know she is getting tickets for thetheaytre that evening, Mr. Flaxberg? And anyhow, Mr. Flaxberg, if peoplecould afford to spend their money going on theaytre, understand me, theydon't need to keep boarders at all--especially when I am getting nightafter night boiled _Brustdeckel_ only. I says to her, 'Mrs. Kaller, ' Isays to her, 'why don't you give me once in a while a change?' Isays----"

"Did Lubliner have anything with him when he came out?" Flaxberginterrupted. 

"Well, sure; he'd got the package he forgets, and how a feller couldforget a package that size, Mr. Flaxberg--honestly, you wouldn't believeat all! That's what it is to be a relation to the boss, Mr. Flaxberg. If I would got such a memory, understand me, I would of been fired longsince already. Yes, Mr. Flaxberg, I says to Mrs. Kaller, 'For threeand a half dollars a week a feller should get night after night_Brustdeckel_--it's a shame--honest!' I says; and--_stiegen_! There'sMr. Scheikowitz!"

As he spoke he seized a feather duster and began to wield it vigorously, so that by the time Philip Scheikowitz reached the showroom door a densecloud of dust testified to Markulies's industry. 

"That'll do, Sam!" Philip cried. "What do you want to do here--choke usall to death?"

Gradually the dust subsided and disclosed to Philip's astonished gazeHarry Flaxberg seated on a sample table and apparently lost in theperusal of the _Daily Cloak and Suit Record_. 

"Good-morning, Mr. Scheikowitz, " he said heartily, but Philip onlygrunted in reply. Moreover, he walked hurriedly past Flaxberg and closedthe office door behind him with a resounding bang, for he, too, hadsought the advice of counsel the previous evening; and on that advice hehad left his bed before daylight, only to find himself forestalled bythe wily Flaxberg. Nor was his chagrin at all decreased by Polatkin, whohad promised to meet his partner at quarter-past seven. Instead hearrived an hour later and immediately proceeded to upbraid Scheikowitzfor Flaxberg's punctuality. 

"What do you mean that feller gets here before you?" he cried. "Didn'tyou hear it the lawyer distinctively told you you should get here beforeFlaxberg, and when Flaxberg arrives you should tell him he is fired onaccount he is late? Honestly, Scheikowitz, I don't know what comes overyou lately the way you are acting. Here we are paying the lawyer tendollars he should give us an advice, understand me, and we might just sowell throw our money in the streets!"

"But Flaxberg wasn't late, Polatkin, " Scheikowitz protested. "He wasearly. "

"Don't argue with me, Scheikowitz, " Polatkin said. "Let's go outside andtalk to him. "

Philip shrugged despairingly as they walked to the office door. 

"Flaxberg, " he began as he discerned the city salesman again using asample table for a footstool, "don't let us disturb you if you ain'tthrough reading the paper yet. "

"Yes, Flaxberg, " Polatkin added, "you could get down here so early likeyou would be sleeping in the place all night yet, and what is it? Takefrom the table the feet, Flaxberg, and be a man. We got something to sayto you. "

"Go ahead, Mr. Polatkin, " Flaxberg said as he leisurely brought his feetto the floor. "I'm listening. "

"In the first place, Flaxberg, " Polatkin said, "did it ever occur to youthat, even if your uncle would got fired up to Appenweier & Murray's, Redman designs for us a line of garments here which them people might beinterested in anyhow?"

"_Yow_, they would be interested in our line!" Flaxberg cried. "Lapinwouldn't buy only Sammet Brothers' line if we got Worth and Paquin bothworking for us as designers. You couldn't convince him otherwise, Mr. Polatkin. "

"That's all right, " Polatkin went on; "but it wouldn't do no harm foryou to anyhow see the feller and show him a couple garments which we gotit here. Take for instance them 1080's, which we are selling FineBrothers, _oder_ that 2060--that overskirt effect with the gilt netyoke and peacock-feather-design braid, Flaxberg. Them two styles made abig hit, Flaxberg. They are all hanging on that end rack there, Flaxberg, and you could look at 'em for yourself. "

Polatkin walked across the showroom to the rack in question. 

"Especially the 2060's, " he said as he pulled aside the heavy denimcurtain which protected the contents of the rack, "which you couldreally say is----"

Here he paused abruptly--for, with the exception of a dozen woodenhangers, the rack was empty. 

"What's this, Scheikowitz?" he cried with a sweep of his hand in thedirection of the rack. "Where is all them 1080's and 2060's?"

Hastily the two partners examined every rack in the showroom; and notonly did they fail to discover the missing samples, but they ascertainedthat, in addition, seven other choice styles had disappeared. 

"See maybe is Redman using 'em in the cutting room, " Scheikowitzsuggested; and forthwith they made a canvass of the cutting room andfactory, in which they were joined by Markulies. 

"What is the matter, Mr. Scheikowitz?" he asked. 

"We are missing a dozen sample garments, " Scheikowitz replied. 

"Missing!" Markulies loudly exclaimed. "What d'ye mean--missing, Mr. Scheikowitz? Last night, when I was covering up the racks, everythingwas in place. "

Suddenly a wave of recollection swept over him and he gave tongue like afoxhound. 

"Oo-oo-ee!" he wailed and sank into the nearest chair. 

"Markulies, " Polatkin cried out, "for Heaven's sake, what is it?"

"He must of _ganvered_ 'em!" Markulies wailed. "Right in front of myeyes he done it. "

"Who done it?" Scheikowitz cried. 

"Lubliner, " Markulies moaned. 

"Lubliner!" Polatkin cried. "Do you mean Elkan Lubliner?"

"That's what I said, " Markulies went on. "Comes half-past six lastnight, and that _ganef_ makes me a _schlag_ in the stummick, Mr. Polatkin; and the first thing you know he goes to work and steals fromme my keys, Mr. Polatkin, and cleans out the whole place yet. "

"Lubliner was here last night after we are going home?" Polatkin asked. 

"Sure, he was, " Markulies replied--"at half-past six yet. "

"Then that only goes to show what a liar you are, " Polatkin declared, "because myself I am letting Elkan go home at one o'clock on account thefeller is so sick, understand me, he could hardly walk out of the placeat all. Furthermore, he says he is going right straight to bed when heleaves here; so, if you want to explain how it is the garments disappearwhen you are in the place here alone, Markulies, go ahead with yourlies. Might Mr. Scheikowitz stole 'em maybe--or I did! What?"

Markulies began to rock and sway in an agony of woe. 

"I should never stir from this here chair, Mr. Polatkin, " Markuliesprotested, "and my mother also, which I am sending her toKalvaria--regular like clockwork--ten dollars a month, she shouldnever walk so far from here _bis_ that door, if that _ganef_ didn'tcome in here last night and make away with the garments!"

"_Koosh!_" Polatkin bellowed, and made a threatening gesture towardMarkulies just as Scheikowitz stepped forward. 

"That'll do, Polatkin, " he said. "If the feller lies we could easy proveit--ain't it? In the first place, where is Elkan?"

"He must of been sick this morning on account he ain't here yet, "Polatkin said. 

"_Schon gut_, " Scheikowitz rejoined; "if he ain't here he ain't here, _verstehst du_, _aber_ he is boarding with Mrs. Feinermann, which herhusband is Kupferberg Brothers' foreman--ain't it?"

Polatkin nodded and Scheikowitz turned to Markulies. 

"Markulies, " he said, "do me the favour and stop that! You are making medizzy the way you are acting. Furthermore, Markulies, you should put onright away your hat and run over to Kupferberg Brothers' and say to Mr. B. Kupferberg you are coming from Polatkin & Scheikowitz, and ask him ishe agreeable he should let Marx Feinermann come over and see us--and ifhe wants to know what for tell him we want to get from him arecommendation for a feller which is working for us. "

He turned to his partner as Markulies started for the stairway. 

"And a helluva recommendation we would get from him, too, I bet yer!" headded. "Wasserbauer tells me Elkan was in his place yesterday, and, though he don't watch every bit of food a customer puts into his mouth, understand me, he says that he eats dill pickles one right after theother; and then, Polatkin, the young feller gets right up and walksright out of the place without giving any order even. Wasserbauer sayshe knows it was Elkan because one day I am sending him over to look foryou there. Wasserbauer asks him the simple question what he wants youfor, and right away Elkan acts fresh to him like anything. "

"He done right to act fresh, " Polatkin said as they walked back to theshowroom. "What is it Wasserbauer's business what you want me for?"

"But how comes a young feller like him to be eating at Wasserbauer's?"Scheikowitz continued. "Where does he get the money from he should eatthere?"

"The fact is"--said Flaxberg, who up to this point had remained a silentlistener to the entire controversy--"the fact is, Mr. Scheikowitz, yesterday I am taking pity on the feller on account he is looking sick;and I took him into Wasserbauer's and invited him he should eat a littlesomething. "

Here he paused and licked his lips maliciously. 

"And though I don't want to say nothing against the feller, understandme, " he continued, "he begins right away to talk about horseracing. "

"Horseracing?" Polatkin cried. 

Flaxberg nodded and made a gesture implying more plainly than the wordsthemselves: "Can you beat it?"

"Horseracing!" Scheikowitz repeated. "Well, what do you think of thatfor a lowlife bum?"

"And when I called him down for gambling, Mr. Polatkin, he walks rightout, so independent he is. Furthermore, though it's none of my business, Mr. Polatkin, " Flaxberg went on, "Markulies tells me this morning earlythe same story like he tells you--before he knew the goods was missingeven. "

"Sure, I believe you, " Polatkin retorted. "He was getting the wholething fixed up beforehand. That's the kind of _Rosher_ he is. "

As he spoke Markulies entered, and there followed on his heels theshort, stout figure of Marx Feinermann. 

"What did I told you?" Markulies cried. "The feller ain't home sick atall. He eats his supper last night, and this morning he is got two eggsfor his breakfast even. "

"S'nough, Markulies!" Polatkin interrupted. "You got too much to say foryourself. Sit down, Feinermann, and tell us what is the reason Elkanain't here this morning. "

"You tell me and I would tell you, " Feinermann replied. "All I know isthe feller leaves my house the usual time this morning; only before hegoes he acts fresh to my wife like anything, Mr. Polatkin. He kicks thecoffee ain't good, even when my wife is giving him two eggs to hisbreakfast anyhow. What some people expects for three-fifty a week youwouldn't believe at all!"

"What do you mean--three-fifty a week?" Polatkin demanded. "He pays yourwife five dollars a week _schon_ six months ago already. He told me sohimself. "

"I ain't responsible for what that boy tells you, " Feinermann saidstolidly. "All I know is he pays me three-fifty a week; and you wouldthink he is used to eating chicken every day from _zu Hause_ yet, theway he is all the time kicking about his food. "

Markulies snorted indignantly. 

"He should got the _Machshovos_ Mrs. Kaller hands it to me, " hesaid--"_gekochte Brustdeckel_ day in, day out; and then I am accusedthat I steal samples yet! I am sick and tired of it!"

"_Stiegen!_" Polatkin cried. "Listen here to me, Feinermann. Do you meanto told me the boy ain't paying you five dollars a week board?"

As Feinermann opened his mouth to reply the showroom door opened andElkan himself entered. 

"Loafer!" Scheikowitz roared. "Where was you?"

Elkan made no reply, but walked to the centre of the showroom. 

"Mr. Polatkin, " he said, "could I speak to you a few words something?"

Polatkin jumped to his feet. 

"Before you speak to me a few words something, " he said, "I want to askyou what the devil you are telling me lies that you pay Mrs. Feinermannfive dollars a week board?"

"What are you bothering about that for now?" Scheikowitz interrupted. "And, anyhow, you could see by the way the feller is red like blood thathe lies to you. "

"Furthermore, " Feinermann added, "my wife complains to me last nightthat young loafer takes her uptown yesterday on a wild fool's errand, understand me, and together they get pretty near kicked out of adrygoods store. "

"She told you that, did she?" Elkan cried. 

"That's what I said!" Feinermann retorted. 

"Then, if that's the case, Feinermann, " Elkan replied, "all I can sayis, I am paying your wife five dollars a week board _schon_ six monthsalready, and if she is holding out on you a dollar and a half a weekthat's her business--not mine. "

"Don't make things worser as they are, Lubliner, " Flaxberg advised. "Youare in bad, anyhow, and lying don't help none. What did you done withthe samples you took away from here?"

"What is it your business what I done with 'em?" Elkan retorted. 

"Don't get fresh, Elkan!" Polatkin said. "What is all this about, anyhow? First, you are leaving here yesterday on account you are sick;next, you are going uptown with Mrs. Feinermann and get kicked out of adrygoods store; then you come back here and steal our samples. "

"Steal your samples!" Elkan cried. 

"You admitted it yourself just now, " Flaxberg interrupted. "You are athief as well as a liar!"

Had Flaxberg's interest in sport extended to pugilism, he would haveappreciated the manner in which Elkan's chest and arm muscles began toswell under his coat, even if the ominous gleam in Elkan's dark eyes hadprovided no other warning. As it was, however, Elkan put into practicethe knowledge gained by a nightly attendance at the gymnasium on EastBroadway. He stepped back two paces, and left followed right so rapidlyto the point of Flaxberg's jaw that the impact sounded like one blow. 

Simultaneously Flaxberg fell back over the sample tables and landed witha crash against the office partition just as the telephone rang loudly. Perhaps it was as well for Flaxberg that he was unprepared for theonslaught, since, had he been in a rigid posture, he would haveassuredly taken the count. Beyond a cut lip, however, and a lump on theback of his head, he was practically unhurt; and he jumped to his feetimmediately. Nor was he impeded by a too eager audience, for Markuliesand Feinermann had abruptly fled to the farthermost corner of thecutting room, while Marcus and Philip had ducked behind a sample rack;so that he had a clear field for the rush he made at Elkan. He yelledwith rage as he dashed wildly across the floor, but the yell terminatedwith an inarticulate grunt when Elkan stopped the rush with a drivestraight from the shoulder. It found a target on Flaxberg's nose, and hecrumpled up on the showroom floor. 

For two minutes Elkan stood still and then he turned to the sampleracks. 

"Mr. Polatkin, " he said, "the telephone is ringing. "

Polatkin came from behind the rack and automatically proceeded to theoffice, while Scheikowitz peeped out of the denim curtains. 

"You got to excuse me, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Elkan murmured. "I couldn'thelp myself at all. "

"You've killed him!" Scheikowitz gasped. 

"_Yow!_ I've killed him!" Elkan exclaimed. "It would take a whole lotmore as that to kill a bum like him. "

He bent over Flaxberg and shook him by the shoulder. 

"Hey!" he shouted in his ear. "You are ruining your clothes!"

Flaxberg raised his drooping head and, assisted by Elkan, regained hisfeet and staggered to the water-cooler, where Elkan bathed his streamingnostrils with the icy fluid. 

At length Scheikowitz stirred himself to action just as Polatkinrelinquished the 'phone. 

"Markulies, " Scheikowitz shouted, "go out and get a policeman!"

"Don't do nothing of the kind, Markulies!" Polatkin declared. "I gotsomething to say here too. "

He turned severely to Elkan. 

"Leave that loafer alone and listen to me, " he said. "What right do yougot to promise deliveries on them 2060's in a week?"

"I thought----" Elkan began. 

"You ain't got no business to think, " Polatkin interrupted. "The nexttime you are selling a concern like Appenweier & Murray don't promisenothing in the way of deliveries, because with people like them it'salways the same. If you tell 'em a week they ring you up and insist onit they would got to got the goods in five days. "

He put his hand on Elkan's shoulder; and the set expression of his facemelted until his short dark moustache disappeared between his nose andhis under lip in a widespread grin. 

"Come inside the office, " he said--"you too, Scheikowitz. Elkan's got along story he wants to tell us. "

 * * * * *

Half an hour later, Sam Markulies knocked timidly at the office door. 

"Mr. Polatkin, " he said, "Marx Feinermann says to me to ask you if heshould wait any longer on account they're very busy over to KupferbergBrothers'. "

"Tell him he should come in here, " Polatkin said; and Markulies withdrewafter gazing in open-mouthed wonder at the spectacle of Elkan Lublinerseated at Polatkin's desk, with one of Polatkin's mildest cigars in hismouth, while the two partners sat in adjacent chairs and smiled on Elkanadmiringly. 

"You want to speak to me, Mr. Polatkin?" Feinermann asked, as he came ina moment afterward. 

"Sure, " Polatkin replied as he handed the astonished Feinermann a cigar. "Sit down, Feinermann, and listen to me. In the first place, Feinermann, what for a neighborhood is Pitt Street to live in? Why don't you moveuptown, Feinermann?"

"A foreman is lucky if he could live in Pitt Street even, " Feinermannsaid. "You must think I got money, Mr. Polatkin. "

"How much more a month would it cost you to live uptown?" Polatkincontinued. "At the most ten dollars--ain't it?"

Feinermann nodded sadly. 

"To a man which he is only a foreman, Mr. Polatkin, ten dollars is tendollars, " he commented. 

"Sure, I know, " Polatkin said; "but instead of five dollars a weekboard, Elkan would pay you seven dollars a week, supposing you wouldmove up to Lenox Avenue. Ain't that right, Elkan?"

"Sure, that's right, " Elkan said. "Only, if I am paying him sevendollars a week board, he must got to give Mrs. Feinermann a dollar and ahalf extra housekeeping money. Is that agreeable, Feinermann?"

Again Feinermann nodded. 

"Then that's all we want from you, Feinermann, " Polatkin added, "exceptI want to tell you this much: I am asking Elkan he should come uptownand live with me; and he says no--he would prefer to stick where heis. "

Feinermann shrugged complacently. 

"I ain't got no objections, " he said as he withdrew. 

"And now, Elkan, " Polatkin cried, "we got to fix it up with the otherfeller. "

Hardly had he spoken when there stood framed in the open doorway thedisheveled figure of Flaxberg. 

"_Nu_, Flaxberg, " Polatkin said. "What d'ye want from us now?"

"I am coming to tell you this, Mr. Polatkin, " Flaxberg said thicklythrough his cut and swollen lips: "I am coming to tell you that I'm sickand so you must give me permission to go home. "

"Nobody wants you to stay here, Flaxberg, " Polatkin answered. 

"Sure, I know, " Flaxberg rejoined; "but if I would go home without yourconsent you would claim I made a breach of my contract. "

"Don't let that worry you in the least, Flaxberg, " Polatkin retorted, "because, so far as that goes, we fire you right here and now, onaccount you didn't make no attempt to sell Appenweier & Murray, when aboy like Elkan, which up to now he wasn't even a salesman at all, couldsell 'em one thousand dollars goods. "

Flaxberg's puffed features contorted themselves in an expression ofastonishment. 

"Lubliner sells Appenweier & Murray a bill of goods!" he exclaimed. 

By way of answer Polatkin held out the order slip for Flaxberg'sinspection. 

"That's all right, " Flaxberg declared. "I would make it hot for youanyhow! You put this young feller up to it that he pretty near killsme. "

"_Yow!_ We put him up to it!" Polatkin retorted. "You put him up to ityourself, Flaxberg. You are lucky he didn't break your neck for you;because, if you think you could sue anybody in the courts yet, we gotfor witness Feinermann, Markulies and ourselves that you called him aliar and a thief. "

"_Nu_, Polatkin, " Scheikowitz said, "give him say a hundred dollars andcall it square. "

"You wouldn't give me five hundred dollars, " Flaxberg shouted as hestarted for the door, "because I would sue you in the courts for fivethousand dollars yet. "

Flaxberg banged the door violently behind him, whereat Polatkin shruggedhis shoulders. 

"Bluffs he is making it!" he declared; and forthwith he began to unfoldplans for Elkan's new campaign as city salesman. He had not proceededvery far, however, when there came another knock at the door. It was SamMarkulies. 

"Mr. Flaxberg says to me I should ask you if he should wait for thehundred dollars a check, or might you would mail it to him maybe!" hesaid. 

Scheikowitz looked inquiringly at his partner. 

"Put on it, 'In full of all claims against Polatkin & Scheikowitz orElkan Lubliner to date, '" he said. "And when you get through with that, Scheikowitz, write an 'ad' for an assistant cutter. We've got to getbusy on that Appenweier & Murray order right away. "

CHAPTER THREE

A MATCH FOR ELKAN LUBLINER

MADE IN HEAVEN, WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF MAX KAPFER

"I wouldn't care if Elkan Lubliner was only eighteen even, " declaredMorris Rashkind emphatically; "he ain't too young to marry B. Maslik's a_Tochter_. There's a feller which he has got in improved property alone, understand me, an equity of a hundred to a hundred and fifty thousanddollars; and if you would count second mortgages and Bronix lots, Mr. Polatkin, the feller is worth easy his quarter of a million dollars. "

"Sure I know, " Polatkin retorted. "With such a feller, he gives hisdaughter when she gets married five thousand dollars a second mortgage, understand me; and the most the _Chosan_ could expect is that some dayhe forecloses the mortgage and gets a deficiency judgment against adummy bondsman which all his life he never got money enough to pay hislaundry bills even!"

"_Oser a Stück!_" Rashkind protested. "He says to me, so sure as you aresitting there, 'Mr. Rashkind, ' he says, 'my dear friend, ' he says, 'Birdie is my only _Tochter_. I ain't got no other one, ' he says, '_Gottsei Dank_, ' he says; 'and the least I could do for her is five thousanddollars cash, ' he says, 'in a certified check, ' he says, 'before thefeller goes under the _Chuppah_ at all. '"

"With a feller like B. Maslik, " Polatkin commented, "it ain't necessaryfor him to talk that way, Rashkind, because if he wants to get anup-to-date business man for his daughter, understand me, he couldn'texpect the feller is going to take chances on an uncertified check_oder_ a promissory note. "

"That's all right, Mr. Polatkin, " Rashkind said. "B. Maslik's promissorynote is just so good as his certified check, Mr. Polatkin. With thatfeller I wouldn't want his promissory note even. His word in thepresence of a couple of bright, level-headed witnesses, which a lawyercouldn't rattle 'em on the stand, _verstehst du_, would be good enoughfor me, Mr. Polatkin. B. Maslik, y'understand, is absolutely good likediamonds, Mr. Polatkin. "

"All right, " Polatkin said. "I'll speak to Elkan about it. He'll be backfrom the road Saturday. "

"Speak nothing, " Rashkind cried excitedly. "Saturday would be too late. Everybody is working on this here proposition, Mr. Polatkin. Because theway property is so dead nowadays all the real estaters tries to be a_Shadchen_, understand me; so if you wouldn't want Miss Maslik to slipthrough Elkan's fingers, write him this afternoon yet. I got a fountainpen right here. "

As he spoke he produced a fountain pen of formidable dimensions andhanded it to Polatkin. 

"I'll take the letter along with me and mail it, " Rashkind continued asMarcus made a preliminary flourish. 

"Tell him, " Rashkind went on, "that the girl is something which youcould really call beautiful. "

"I wouldn't tell him nothing of the sort, " Polatkin said, "because, inthe first place, what for a _Schreiber_ you think I am anyway? And, inthe second place, Rashkind, Elkan is so full of business, understand me, if I would write him to come home on account this here Miss Maslik issuch a good-looker he wouldn't come at all. "

Rashkind shrugged. 

"Go ahead, " he said. "Do it your own way. "

For more than five minutes Polatkin indited his message to Elkan and atlast he inclosed it in an envelope. 

"How would you spell Bridgetown?" he asked. 

"Which Bridgetown?" Rashkind inquired--"Bridgetown, Pennsylvania, _oder_Bridgetown, Illinois?"

"What difference does that make?" Polatkin demanded. 

"About the spelling it don't make no difference, " Rashkind replied. "Bridgetown is spelt B-r-i-d-g-e-t-a-u-n, all the world over; _aber_ ifit's Bridgetown, Pennsylvania, that's a very funny quincidence, onaccount I am just now talking to a feller which formerly keeps a storethere by the name Flixman. "

"Do you mean Julius Flixman?" Marcus asked as he licked the envelope. 

"That's the feller, " Rashkind said with a sigh as he pocketed the letterto Elkan. "It's a funny world, Mr. Polatkin. Him and me comes overtogether in one steamer yet, thirty years ago; and to-day if thatfeller's worth a cent he's worth fifty thousand dollars. "

"Sure, I know, " Marcus agreed; "and _Gott soll hüten_ you and I shouldgot what he's got it. He could drop down in the streets any moment, Rashkind. " Rashkind nodded as he rose to his feet. 

"In a way, it's his own fault, " he said, "because a feller which hecould afford to ride round in taxicabs yet ain't got no business walkingthe streets in his condition. I told him this morning: 'Julius, ' I says, 'if I was one of your heirs, ' I says to him, 'I wouldn't want nothingbetter as to see you hanging round the real-estate exchange, looking theway you look!' And he says to me: 'Rashkind, ' he says, 'there is a wholelot worser things I could wish myself as you should be my heir, ' hesays. 'On account, ' he says, 'if a _Schlemiel_ like you would got arelation which is going to leave you money, Rashkind, ' he says, 'itwould be just your luck that the relation dies one day after you do, even if you would live to be a hundred. '"

He walked toward the door and paused on the threshold. 

"Yes, Mr. Polatkin, " he concluded, "you could take it from me, if thatfeller's got heart disease, Mr. Polatkin, it ain't from overworking it. So I would ring you up to-morrow afternoon three o'clock and see ifElkan's come yet. "

"I'm agreeable, " Polatkin declared; "only one thing I got to ask you:you should keep your mouth shut to my partner, on account if he hears itthat I am bringing back Elkan from the road just for this here MissMaslik, understand me, he would never let me hear the end of it. "

Rashkind made a reassuring gesture with his right arm after the fashionof a swimmer who employs the overhand stroke. 

"What have I got to do with your partner?" he said as he started for theelevator. "If I meet him in the place, I am selling buttons and youdon't want to buy none. Ain't it?"

Polatkin nodded and turned to the examination of a pile of monthlystatements by way of dismissing the marriage broker. Moreover, he feltimpelled to devise some excuse for sending for Elkan, so that he mighthave it pat upon the return from lunch of his partner, PhilipScheikowitz, who at that precise moment was seated in the rear ofWasserbauer's café, by the side of Charles Fischko. 

"Yes, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Fischko said, "if you would really got thefeller's interest in heart, understand me, you wouldn't wait tillSaturday at all. Write him to-day yet, because this proposition issomething which you could really call remarkable, on account most girlswhich they got five thousand dollars dowries, Mr. Scheikowitz, ain't gotfive-thousand-dollar faces; _aber_ this here Miss Maslik is somethingwhich when you are paying seventy-five cents a seat on theaytre, understand me, you don't see such an elegant-looking _Gesicht_. She's aregular doll, Mr. Scheikowitz!"

"Sure, I know, " Scheikowitz agreed; "that's the way it is with themdolls, Fischko--takes a fortune already to dress 'em. "

Fischko flapped the air indignantly with both hands. 

"That's where you are making a big mistake, " he declared. "The Masliksgot living in the house with 'em a girl which for years already shemakes all Miss Maslik's dresses and Mrs. Maslik's also. B. Maslik toldme so himself, Mr. Scheikowitz. He says to me: 'Fischko, ' he says, 'myBirdie is a girl which she ain't accustomed she should got a lot ofmoney spent on her, ' he says; 'the five thousand dollars is practicallynet, ' he says, 'on account his expenses would be small. '"

"Is she a good cook?" Scheikowitz asked. 

"A good cook!" Fischko cried. "Listen here to me, Mr. Scheikowitz. Youknow that a _Shadchen_ eats sometimes in pretty swell houses. Ain't it?"

Scheikowitz nodded. 

"Well, I am telling you, Mr. Scheikowitz, so sure as I am sitting here, that I got in B. Maslik's last Tuesday a week ago already a piece ofplain everyday _gefüllte Hechte_, Mr. Scheikowitz, which honestly, ifyou would go to Delmonico's _oder_ the Waldorfer, understand me, youcould pay as high as fifty cents for it, Mr. Scheikowitz, and itwouldn't be--I am not saying better--but so good even as that there_gefüllte Hechte_ which I got it by B. Maslik. "

Scheikowitz nodded again. 

"All right, Fischko, " he said, "I will write the boy so soon as I getback to the office yet; but one thing I must beg of you: don't say aword about this to my partner, y'understand, because if he would hearthat I am bringing home Elkan from the road just on account of this_Shidduch_ you are proposing, understand me, he would make my lifemiserable. "

Fischko shrugged his shoulders until his head nearly disappeared intohis chest. 

"What would I talk to your partner for, Mr. Scheikowitz?" he said. "I amlooking to you in this here affair; so I would stop round the day afterto-morrow afternoon, Mr. Scheikowitz, and if your partner asks mesomething a question, I would tell him I am selling thread _oder_buttons. "

"Make it buttons, " Scheikowitz commented, as he rose to his feet;"because we never buy buttons from nobody but the Prudential ButtonCompany. "

On his way back to his office Scheikowitz pondered a variety of reasonsfor writing Elkan to return, and he had tentatively adopted the mostextravagant one when, within a hundred feet of his business premises, heencountered no less a personage than Julius Flixman. 

"_Wie geht's_, Mr. Flixman?" he cried. "What brings you to New York?"

Flixman saluted Philip with a limp handclasp. 

"I am living here now, " he said. "I am giving up my store in Bridgetown_schon_ six months ago already, on account I enjoyed such poor healththere. So I sold out to a young feller by the name Max Kapfer, which wasfor years working by Paschalson, of Sarahcuse; and I am living here, asI told you. "

"With relations maybe?" Philip asked. 

"_Yow_, relations!" Flixman replied. "I used to got one sister living inBessarabia, Mr. Scheikowitz, and I ain't heard from her in more asthirty years, and I guess she is dead all right by this time. I amliving at a hotel which I could assure you the prices they soak me issomething terrible. "

"And what are you doing round this neighborhood, Mr. Flixman?" Philipcontinued by way of making conversation. 

"I was just over to see a lawyer over on Center Street, " Flixmanreplied. 

"A lawyer on Center Street!" Philip exclaimed. "A rich man like youshould got a lawyer on Wall Street, Mr. Flixman. Henry D. Feldman is ourlawyer, and----"

"Don't mention that sucker to me!" Flixman interrupted. "Actually thefeller is got the nerve to ask me a hundred dollars for drawing a will, and this here feller on Center Street wants only fifty. I bet yer if Iwould go round there to-morrow or the next day he takes twenty-fiveeven. "

"But a will is something which is really important, Mr. Flixman. "

"Not to me it ain't, Scheikowitz, because, while I couldn't take mymoney with me, Scheikowitz, I ain't got no one to leave it to; so, if Iwouldn't make a will it goes to the state--ain't it?"

"Maybe, " Philip commented. 

"So I am leaving it to a Talmud Torah School, which it certainly don'tdo no harm that all them young loafers over on the East Side shouldlearn a little _Loschen Hakodesch_. Ain't it?"

"Sure not, " Philip said. 

"Well, " Flixman concluded as he took a firmer grasp on his canepreparatory to departing, "that's the way it goes. If I would gotchildren to leave my money to I would say: 'Yes; give the lawyer ahundred dollars. ' But for a Talmud Torah School I would see 'em all deadfirst before I would pay fifty even. "

He nodded savagely in farewell and shuffled off down the street, whilePhilip made his way toward the factory, with his half-formed excuse tohis partner now entirely forgotten. 

He tried in vain to recall it when he entered his office a few minuteslater, but the sight of his partner spurred him to action andimmediately he devised a new and better plan. 

"Marcus, " he said, "write Elkan at once he should come back to thestore. I just seen Flixman on the street and he tells me he's got ayoung feller by the name Karpfer _oder_ Kapfer now running his store;and, " he continued in an access of inspiration, "the stock is awful rundown there; so, if Elkan goes right back to Bridgetown with a line oflow-priced goods he could do a big business with Kapfer. "

Polatkin had long since concocted what he had conceived to be aperfectly good excuse for his letter, and he had intended to lend itcolor by prefacing it with an abusive dissertation on "Wasting the WholeAfternoon over Lunch"; but Scheikowitz' greeting completely disarmedhim. His jaw dropped and he gazed stupidly at his partner. 

"What's the matter?" Scheikowitz cried. "Is it so strange we shouldbring Elkan back here for the chance of doing some more business? Threedollars carfare between here and Bridgetown wouldn't make or break us, Polatkin. "

"Sure! Sure!" Marcus said at last. "I would--now--write him as soon as Iget back from lunch. "

"Write him right away!" Scheikowitz insisted; and, though Marcus hadbreakfasted before seven that morning and it was then half-past two, heturned to his desk without further parley. There, for the second timethat day, he penned a letter to Elkan; and, after exhibiting it to hispartner, he inclosed it in an addressed envelope. Two minutes later hepaused in front of Wasserbauer's café and, taking the missive from hispocket, tore it into small pieces and cast it into the gutter. 

 * * * * *

"I suppose, Elkan, you are wondering why we wrote you to come home fromBridgetown when you would be back on Saturday anyway, " Scheikowitz beganas Elkan laid down his suitcase in the firm's office the followingafternoon. 

"Naturally, " Elkan replied. "I had an appointment for this morning tosee a feller there, which we could open maybe a good account; a fellerby the name Max Kapfer. "

"Max Kapfer?" Polatkin and Scheikowitz exclaimed with one voice. 

"That's what I said, " Elkan repeated. "And in order I shouldn't lose thechance I got him to promise he would come down here this afternoon yeton a late train and we would pay his expenses. "

"Do you mean Max Kapfer, the feller which took over Flixman's store?"Polatkin asked. 

"There's only one Max Kapfer in Bridgetown, " Elkan replied, and Polatkinimmediately assumed a pose of righteous indignation. 

"That's from yours an idee, Scheikowitz, " he said. "Not only you makethe boy trouble to come back to the store, but we also got to give thisfeller Kapfer his expenses yet. "

"What are you kicking about?" Scheikowitz demanded. "You seemedagreeable to the proposition yesterday. "

"I got to seem agreeable, " Polatkin retorted as he started for the doorof the factory, "otherwise it would be nothing but fight, fight, fight_mit_ you, day in, day out. "

He paused at the entrance and winked solemnly at Elkan. 

"I am sick and tired of it, " he concluded as he supplemented the winkwith a significant frown, and when he passed into the factory Elkanfollowed him. 

"What's the matter now?" Elkan asked anxiously. 

"I want to speak to you a few words something, " Polatkin began; butbefore he could continue Scheikowitz entered the factory. 

"Did you got your lunch on the train, Elkan?" Scheikowitz said;"because, if not, come on out and we'll have a cup coffee together. "

"Leave the boy alone, can't you?" Polatkin exclaimed. 

"I'll go right out with you, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Elkan said as he edgedaway to the rear of the factory. "Go and put on your hat and I'll bewith you in a minute. "

When Scheikowitz had reëntered the office Elkan turned to MarcusPolatkin. 

"You ain't scrapping again, " he said, "are you?"

"_Oser a Stück_, " Polatkin answered. "We are friendly like lambs; butlisten here to me, Elkan. I ain't got no time before he'll be backagain, so I'll tell you. As a matter of fact, it was me that wrote youto come back, really. I got an elegant _Shidduch_ for you. "

"_Shidduch!_" Elkan exclaimed. "For me?"

"Sure, " Polatkin whispered. "A fine-looking girl by the name BirdieMaslik, _mit_ five thousand dollars. Don't say nothing to Scheikowitzabout it. "

"But, " Elkan said, "I ain't looking for no _Shidduch_. "

"S-ssh!" Polatkin hissed. "Her father is B. Maslik, the 'Pants King. 'To-morrow night you are going up to see her _mit_ Rashkind, the_Shadchen_. "

"What the devil you are talking about?" Elkan asked. 

"Not a word, " Polatkin whispered out of one corner of his mouth. "Herecomes Scheikowitz--and remember, don't say nothing to him about it. Y'understand?"

Elkan nodded reluctantly as Scheikowitz reappeared from the office. 

"_Nu_, Elkan, " Scheikowitz demanded, "are you coming?"

"Right away, " Elkan said, and together they proceeded downstairs. 

"Well, Elkan, " Scheikowitz began when they reached the sidewalk, "youmust think we was crazy to send for you just on account of this hereKapfer. Ain't it?"

Elkan shrugged in reply. 

"But, as a matter of fact, " Scheikowitz continued, "Kapfer ain't got nomore to do with it than Elia Hanové; and, even though Polatkin would besuch a crank that I was afraid for my life to suggest a thing, it was myidee you should come home, Elkan, because in a case like this delays isdangerous. "

"Mr. Scheikowitz, " Elkan pleaded, "do me the favour and don't go beatingbushes round. What are you trying to drive into?"

"I am trying to drive into this, Elkan, " Scheikowitz replied: "I havegot for you an elegant _Shidduch_. "

"_Shidduch!_" Elkan exclaimed. "For me? Why, Mr. Scheikowitz, I don'twant no _Shidduch_ yet a while; and anyhow, Mr. Scheikowitz, if I wouldget married I would be my own _Shadchen_. "

"_Schmooes_, Elkan!" Scheikowitz exclaimed. "A feller which is his own_Shadchen_ remains single all his life long. "

"That suits me all right, " Elkan commented as they reachedWasserbauer's. "I would remain single _und fertig_. "

"What d'ye mean, you would remain single?" Scheikowitz cried. "Is someone willing to pay you five thousand dollars you should remain single, Elkan? _Oser a Stück_, Elkan; and, furthermore, this here Miss BirdieMaslik is got such a face, Elkan, which, honest, if she wouldn't have acent to her name, understand me, you would say she is beautiful anyhow. "

"Miss Birdie Maslik!" Elkan murmured. 

"B. Maslik's a _Tochter_, " Scheikowitz added; "and remember, Elkan, don't breathe a word of this to Polatkin, otherwise he would never getthrough talking about it. Moreover, you will go up to Maslik's houseto-morrow night with Charles Fischko, the _Shadchen_. "

"Now listen here to me, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Elkan protested. "I ain'tgoing nowheres with no _Shadchen_--and that's all there is to it. "

"_Aber_, Elkan, " Scheikowitz said, "this here Fischko ain't a _Shadchen_exactly. He's really a real-estater, _aber_ real estate is so deadnowadays the feller must got to make a living somehow; so it ain't likeyou would be going somewheres _mit_ a _Shadchen_, Elkan. Actually youare going somewheres _mit_ a real-estater. Ain't it?"

"It don't make no difference, " Elkan answered stubbornly. "If I would goand see a girl I would go alone, otherwise not at all. So, if you insiston it I should go and see this here Miss Maslik to-morrow night, Mr. Scheikowitz, I would do so, but not with Rashkind. "

"Fischko, " Scheikowitz interrupted. 

"Fischko _oder_ Rashkind, " Elkan said--"that's all there is to it. Andif I would get right back to the store I got just time to go up to thePrince Clarence and meet Max Kapfer; so you would excuse me if I skip. "

"Think it over Elkan, " Scheikowitz called after him as Elkan left thecafé, and three quarters of an hour later he entered Polatkin &Scheikowitz' showroom accompanied by a fashionably attired young man. 

"Mr. Polatkin, " Elkan said, "shake hands with Mr. Kapfer. "

"How do you do, Mr. Kapfer?" Polatkin cried. "This here is my partner, Philip Scheikowitz. "

"How do you do, Mr. Scheikowitz?" Kapfer said. "You are veryconveniently located here. Right in the heart of things, so to speak. Isee across the street is Bleimauer & Gittelmann. Them people was in tosee me last week already and offered me a big bargain in velvet suits, but I was all stocked up along that line so I didn't hand them noorders. "

"Velvet suits ain't our specialty at all, " Polatkin replied; "but I betyer if we never seen a velvet suit in all our lives, Mr. Kapfer, wecould work you up a line of velvet suits which would make them velvetsuits of Bleimauer & Gittelmann look like a bundle of rags. "

"I don't doubt it, " Kapfer rejoined; "but, as I said before, velvetsuits I am all stocked up in, as I couldn't afford to carry very many of'em. "

"That's all right, " Polatkin said as he led the way to the showroom. "Wegot a line of garments here, Mr. Kapfer, which includes all prices andstyles. " He handed Max a large mild cigar as he spoke. "So let's see ifwe couldn't suit you, " he concluded. 

For more than two hours Max Kapfer examined Polatkin & Scheikowitz'sample line and made so judicious a selection of moderate-pricedgarments that Polatkin could not forbear expressing his admiration, albeit the total amount of the purchase was not large. 

"You certainly got the right buying idee, Mr. Kapfer, " he said. "Themstyles is really the best value we got. "

"I know it, " Kapfer agreed. "I was ten years with Paschalson, ofSarahcuse, Mr. Polatkin, and what I don't know about a popular-priceline of ladies' ready-to-wear garments, underwear and millinery, Paschalson couldn't learn me. But that ain't what I'm after, Mr. Polatkin. I'd like to do some high-price business too. If I had thecapital I would improve my store building and put in new fixtures, understand me, and I could increase my business seventy-five per centand carry a better class of goods too. "

"Sure, I know, " Polatkin said as they returned to the office. "Everybodyneeds more capital, Mr. Kapfer. We ourselves could do with a fewthousand dollars more. "

He looked significantly at Elkan, who colored slightly as he recognizedthe allusion. 

"I bet yer, " Scheikowitz added fervently. "Five thousand dollars wouldbe welcome to us also. " He nodded almost imperceptibly at Elkan, whoforthwith broke into a gentle perspiration. 

"Five thousand was just the figure I was thinking of myself, " Kapfersaid. "With five thousand dollars I could do wonders in Bridgetown, Mr. Scheikowitz. "

"I'm surprised Flixman don't help you out a bit, " Elkan suggested by wayof changing the subject, and Kapfer emitted a mirthless laugh. 

"That bloodsucker!" he said. "What, when I bought his store, Mr. Scheikowitz, he took from me in part payment notes at two, four, and sixmonths; and, though I got the cash ready to pay him the last note, which it falls due this week already, I asked him he should give me twomonths an extension, on account I want to put in a few fixtures on thesecond floor. Do you think that feller would do it? He's got a heartlike a rock, Mr. Polatkin; and any one which could get from him hismoney must got to blast it out of him with dynamite yet. "

Polatkin nodded solemnly. 

"You couldn't tell me nothing about Flixman, " he said as he offeredKapfer a consolatory cigar. "It's wasting your lungs to talk about sucha feller at all; so let's go ahead and finish up this order, Mr. Kapfer, and afterward Elkan would go uptown with you. " He motioned Kapfer to aseat and then looked at his watch. "I didn't got no idee it was solate, " he said. "Scheikowitz, do me the favor and go over Mr. Kapfer'sorder with him while I give a look outside and see what's doing in theshop. "

As he walked toward the door he jerked his head sideways at Elkan, who amoment later followed him into the factory. 

"Listen, Elkan, " he began. "While you and Scheikowitz was out for yourcoffee, Rashkind rings me up and says you should meet him on the cornerof One Hundred and Twentieth Street and Lenox Avenue to-night--notto-morrow night--at eight o'clock sure. "

"But Kapfer ain't going back to Bridgetown to-night, " Elkan protested. "He told me so himself on account he is got still to buy underwear, millinery and shoes. "

"What is that our business?" Polatkin asked. "He's already bought fromus all he's going to; so, if he stays here, let them underwear andmillinery people entertain him. Blow him to dinner and that would beplenty. "

Once more Elkan shrugged despairingly. 

"You didn't say nothing to Scheikowitz about it, did you?" Polatkininquired. 

"Sure I didn't say nothing to him about it, " Elkan said; "because----"

"Elkan, " Scheikowitz called from the office, "Mr. Kapfer is waiting foryou. "

Elkan had been about to disclose the conversation between himself andScheikowitz at Wasserbauer's that afternoon, but Marcus, at theappearance of his partner, turned abruptly and walked into the cuttingroom; and thus, when Elkan accompanied Max Kapfer uptown that evening, his manner was so preoccupied by reason of his dilemma that Kapfer wasconstrained to comment on it. 

 * * * * *

"What's worrying you, Lubliner?" he asked as they seated themselves inthe café of the Prince Clarence. "You look like you was figuring out theinterest on the money you owe. "

"I'll tell you the truth, Mr. Kapfer, " Elkan began, "I would like toask you an advice about something. "

"Go as far as you like, " Kapfer replied. "It don't make no difference ifa feller would be broke _oder_ in jail, he could always give somebodyadvice. "

"Well, it's like this, " Elkan said, and forthwith he unfolded thecircumstances attending his return from Bridgetown. 

"_Nu!_" Kapfer commented when Elkan concluded his narrative. "What isthat for something to worry about?"

"But the idee of the thing is wrong, " Elkan protested. "In the firstplace, I got lots of time to get married, on account I am onlytwenty-one, Mr. Kapfer; and though a feller couldn't start in too earlyin business, Mr. Kapfer, getting married is something else again. To mymind a feller should be anyhow twenty-five before he jumps right in andgets married. "

"With some people, yes, and others, no, " Kapfer rejoined. 

"And in the second place, " Elkan went on, "I don't like this here_Shadchen_ business. We are living in America, not _Russland_; and inAmerica if a feller gets married he don't need no help from a_Shadchen_, Mr. Kapfer. "

"No, " Kapfer said, "he don't need no help, Lubliner; but, just the same, if some one would come to me any time these five years and says to me, here is something a nice girl, understand me, with five thousanddollars, y'understand, I would have been married _schon_ long sincealready. " He cleared his throat judicially and sat back in his chairuntil it rested against the wall. "The fact is, Lubliner, " he said, "youare acting like a fool. What harm would it do supposing you would go upthere to-night with this here Rashkind?"

"What, and go there to-morrow night with Fischko!" Elkan exclaimed. "Besides, if I would go up there to-night with Rashkind and the deal isclosed, understand me, might Fischko would sue Mr. Scheikowitz in thecourt yet. "

"Not at all, " Kapfer declared. "Fischko couldn't sue nobody but B. Maslik; so never mind waiting here for dinner. Hustle uptown and keepyour date with Rashkind. " He shook Elkan by the hand. "Good luck to you, Lubliner, " he concluded heartily; "and if you got the time stop in onyour way down to-morrow morning and let me know how you come out. "

 * * * * *

When Elkan Lubliner arrived at the corner of One Hundred and TwentiethStreet and Lenox Avenue that evening, it might well be supposed that hewould have difficulty in recognizing Mr. Rashkind, since neither he norRashkind had any previous acquaintance. However, he accosted withouthesitation a short, stout person arrayed in a wrinkled frock coat andwearing the white tie and gold spectacles that invariably garb themembers of such quasi-clerical professions as a _Shadchen_, a sexton orthe collector of subscriptions for a charitable institution. Indeed, asRashkind combined all three of these callings with the occupation of areal-estate broker, he also sported a high silk hat of uncertain vintageand a watch-chain bearing a Masonic emblem approximating in weight andsize a tailor's goose. 

"This is Mr. Rashkind, ain't it?" Elkan asked, and Rashkind bowedsolemnly. 

"My name is Mr. Lubliner, " Elkan continued, "and Mr. Polatkin says youwould be here at eight. "

For answer Mr. Rashkind drew from his waistcoat pocket what appeared tobe a six-ounce boxing glove, but which subsequently proved to be thechamois covering of his gold watch, the gift of Rambam Lodge, No. 142, I. O. M. A. This Mr. Rashkind consulted with knit brows. 

"That's right, " he said, returning the watch and its covering to hispocket--"eight o'clock to the minute; so I guess we would just so wellgo round to B. Maslik's house if you ain't got no objections. "

"I'm agreeable, " Elkan said; "but, before we start, you should please beso good and tell me what I must got to do. "

"What you must got to do?" Rashkind exclaimed. "A question! You mustn'tgot to do nothing. Act natural and leave the rest to me. "

"But, " Elkan insisted as they proceeded down Lenox Avenue, "shouldn't Isay something to the girl?"

"Sure, you should say something to the girl, " Rashkind replied; "but, ifyou couldn't find something to say to a girl like Miss Birdie Maslik, all I could tell you is you're a bigger _Schlemiel_ than you look. "

With this encouraging ultimatum, Mr. Rashkind entered the portals of ahallway that glittered with lacquered bronze and plaster porphyry, andbefore Elkan had time to ask any more questions he found himself seatedwith Mr. Rashkind in the front parlour of a large apartment on theseventh floor. 

"Mr. Maslik says you should be so good and step into the dining room, "the maid said to Mr. Rashkind. Forthwith he rose to his feet and leftElkan alone in the room, save for the presence of the maid, who drewdown the shades and smiled encouragingly on Elkan. 

"Ain't it a fine weather?" she asked. 

Elkan looked up, and he could not resist smiling in return. 

"Elegant, " he replied. "It don't seem like summer was ever going toquit. "

"It couldn't last too long for me, " the maid continued. "Might somepeople would enjoy cold weather maybe; but when it comes to going up onthe roof, understand me, and hanging out a big wash, the summer is goodenough for me. "

Elkan gazed for a moment at her oval face, with its kindly, intelligentbrown eyes. 

"You mean to say you got to do washing here?" he asked in shockedaccents. 

"Sure I do, " she replied; "_aber_ this winter I am going to night schoolagain and next summer might I would get a job as bookkeeper maybe. "

"But why don't you get a job in a store somewheres?" he asked. 

"I see myself working in a store all day, standing on my feet yet, andwhen I get through all my wages goes for board!" she replied. "Whereas, here I got anyhow a good room and board, and all what I earn I could putaway in savings bank. I worked in a store long enough, Mr. ----"

"Lubliner, " Elkan said. 

"----Mr. Lubliner; and I could assure you I would a whole lot sooner dohousework, " she went on. "Why should a girl think it's a disgrace sheshould do housework for a living is more as I could tell you. Sooner orlater a girl gets married, and then she must got to do her ownhousework. "

"Not if her husband makes a good living, " Elkan suggested. 

"Sure, I know, " she rejoined; "but how many girls which they are workingin stores gets not a rich man, understand me, but a man which is onlymaking, say, for example, thirty dollars a week. The most that a poorgirl expects is that she marries a poor man, y'understand, and then theywork their way up together. "

Elkan nodded. Unconsciously he was indorsing not so much the matter asthe manner of her conversation, for she spoke with the low voice thatdistinguishes the Rumanian from the Pole or Lithuanian. 

"You are coming from Rumania, ain't it?" Elkan asked. 

"Pretty near there, " the maid replied. "Right on the border. I am cominghere an orphan five years ago; and----"

"_Nu_, Lubliner, " cried a rasping voice from the doorway, "we got ourappointment for nothing--Miss Maslik is sick. "

"That's too bad, " Elkan said perfunctorily. 

"Only a little something she eats gives her a headache, " Rashkind wenton. "We could come round the day after to-morrow night. "

"That's too bad also, " Elkan commented, "on account the day afterto-morrow night I got a date with a customer. "

"Well, anyhow, B. Maslik would be in in a minute and----"

Elkan rose to his feet so abruptly that he nearly sent his chair througha cabinet behind him. 

"If I want to be here Friday night, " he said, "I must see my customerto-night yet; so, young lady, if you would be so kind to tell Mr. MaslikI couldn't wait, but would be here Friday night with thishere--now--gentleman. Come on, Rashkind. "

He started for the hall door almost on a run, with Rashkindgesticulating excitedly behind him; but, before the _Shadchen_ couldeven grasp his coattails he had let himself hurriedly out and was takingthe stairs three at a jump. 

"Hey!" Rashkind shouted as he plunged down the steps after Elkan. "What's the matter with you? Don't you want to meet Mr. Maslik?"

Elkan only hurried the faster, however, for in the few minutes he hadbeen alone in the room with the little brown-eyed maid he had made thediscovery that marriage with the aid of a _Shadchen_ was impossible forhim. Simultaneously he conceived the notion that marriage without theaid of a _Shadchen_ might after all be well worth trying; and, as thisidea loomed in his mind, his pace slackened until the _Shadchen_overtook him at the corner of One Hundred and Sixteenth Street. 

"Say, lookyhere, Lubliner!" Rashkind said. "What is the matter with youanyway?"

Elkan professed to misunderstand the question. 

"I've lost my address book, " he said. "I had it in my hand when you leftme alone there and I must of forgotten it; so I guess I'll go back andget it. "

"All right, " Rashkind replied. "I'll go with you. "

Elkan wheeled round and glared viciously at the _Shadchen_. 

"You'll do nothing of the kind!" he roared. "You get right down themsubway steps or I wouldn't come up with you Friday night. "

"But what harm----" Rashkind began, when Elkan seized him by theshoulder and led him firmly downstairs to the ticket office. There Elkanbought a ticket and, dropping it in the chopper's box, he pushedRashkind on to the platform. A few minutes later a downtown express borethe _Shadchen_ away and Elkan ascended the stairs in three tremendousbounds. Unwaveringly he started up the street for B. Maslik's apartmenthouse, where, by the simple expedient of handing the elevator boy aquarter, he averted the formality of being announced. Thus, when he rangthe doorbell of B. Maslik's flat, though it was opened by the littlebrown-eyed maid in person, she had discarded the white apron and capthat she had worn a few minutes before, and her hair was fluffed up inbecoming disorder. 

"You was telling me you are coming originally from somewheres nearRumania, " Elkan began without further preface, "and--why, what's thematter? You've been crying?"

She put her fingers to her lips and closed the door softly behind her. "They says I didn't got no business talking to you at all, " she replied, "and they called me down something terrible!"

Elkan's eyes flashed angrily. 

"Who calls you down?" he demanded. 

"Mr. And Mrs. Maslik, " she answered; "and they says I ain't got no shameat all!"

She struggled bravely to retain her composure; but just one littlehalf-strangled sob escaped her, and forthwith Elkan felt internally apeculiar sinking sensation. 

"What do they mean you ain't got no shame?" he protested. "I got a rightto talk to you and you got a right to talk to me--ain't it?"

She nodded and sobbed again, whereat Elkan winced and dug his nails intothe palms of his hands. 

"Listen!" he pleaded. "Don't worry yourself at all. After this Iwouldn't got no use for them people. I didn't come here on my ownaccount in the first place, but----"

Here he paused. 

"But what?" the little maid asked. 

"But I'm glad I came now, " Elkan went on defiantly, "and I don't carewho knows it. _Wir sind alles Jehudim_, anyhow, and one is just as goodas the other. "

"Better even, " she said. "What was B. Maslik in the old country? Hecould _oser_ sign his name when he came here, while I am anyhow fromdecent, respectable people, Mr. Lubliner. "

"I don't doubt it, " Elkan replied. 

"My father was a learned man, Mr. Lubliner; but that don't save him. Oneday he goes to Kishinef on business, Mr. Lubliner, and----"

Here her composure entirely forsook her and she covered her face withher hands and wept. Elkan struggled with himself no longer. He took thelittle maid in his arms; and, as it seemed the most natural thing in theworld to do, she laid her head against his shoulder and had her wholecry out. 

Elkan spoke no word, but patted her shoulder gently with his right hand. 

"I guess I'm acting like a baby, Mr. Lubliner, " she said, after aquarter of an hour had elapsed. To Elkan it seemed like an acquaintanceof many months as he clasped her more closely. 

"My name is Elkan, _Liebchen_, " he said, "and we would send all theheavy washing out. "

 * * * * *

"Well, Lubliner, " Kapfer cried as Elkan came into the café of the PrinceClarence the following morning, "you didn't like her--what?"

"Didn't like her!" Elkan exclaimed. "What d'ye mean I didn't like her?"

"Why, the way you look, I take it you had a pretty rotten time lastnight, " Kapfer rejoined. 

"What are you talking about--rotten time?" Elkan protested. "The onlything is I feel so happy I didn't sleep a wink, that's all. "

Kapfer jumped to his feet and slapped Elkan on the shoulder. 

"Do you mean you're engaged!" he asked. 

"Sure!" Elkan replied. 

"Then I congradulate you a thousand times, " Kapfer said gleefully. 

"Once is plenty, " Elkan replied. 

"No, it ain't, " Kapfer rejoined. "You should got to be congradulatedmore as you think, because this morning I am talking to a feller in theclothing business here and he says B. Maslik is richer as most peoplebelieve. The feller says he is easy worth a quarter of a milliondollars. "

"What's that got to do with it?" Elkan asked. 

"What's that got to do with it?" Kapfer repeated. "Why, it's goteverything to do with it, considering you are engaged to his onlydaughter. "

"I am engaged to his only daughter? Who told you that, Mr. Kapfer?"

"Why, you did!" Kapfer said. 

"I never said nothing of the kind, " Elkan declared, "because I ain'tengaged to Miss Maslik at all; in fact, I never even seen her. "

Kapfer gazed earnestly at Elkan and then sat down suddenly. 

"Say, lookyhere, Lubliner, " he said. "Are you crazy or am I? Last nightyou says you are going up with a _Shadchen_ to see Birdie Maslik, andnow you tell me you are engaged, but not to Miss Maslik. "

"That's right, " Elkan replied. 

"Then who in thunder are you engaged to?"

"That's just the point, " Elkan said, as he passed his hand through hishair. "I ain't slept a wink all night on account of it; in fact, thismorning I wondered should I go round there and ask--and then I thoughtto myself I would get from you an advice first. "

"Get from me an advice!" Kapfer exclaimed. "You mean you are engaged toa girl and you don't know her name, and so you come down here to ask mean advice as to how you should find out her name?"

Elkan nodded sadly and leaned his elbow on the table. 

"It's like this, " he said; and for more than half an hour he regaledKapfer with a story that, stripped of descriptive and irrelevantmaterial concerning Elkan's own feelings in the matter, ought to havetaken only five minutes in the telling. 

"And that's the way it is, Mr. Kapfer, " Elkan concluded. "I don't knowher name; but a poor little girl like her, which she is so good--andso--and so----"

Here he became all choked up and Kapfer handed him a cigar. 

"Don't go into that again, Lubliner, " Kapfer said; "you told me howgood she is six times already. The point is you are in a hole and youwant me I should help you out--ain't it?"

Elkan nodded wearily. 

"Well, then, my advice to you is: _Stiegen_, " Kapfer continued. "Don'tsay a word about this to nobody until you would, anyhow, find out thegirl's name. "

"I wasn't going to, " Elkan replied; "but there's something else, Mr. Kapfer. To-night I am to meet this here other _Shadchen_ by the nameFischko, who is going to take me up to Maslik's house. "

"But I thought Miss Maslik was sick, " Kapfer said. 

"She was sick, " Elkan answered, "but she would be better by to-night. Sothat's the way it stands. If I would go downtown now and explain to Mr. Scheikowitz that I am not going up there to-night and that I was therelast night--and----" Here Elkan paused and made an expressive gesturewith both hands. "The fact is, " he almost whimpered, "the whole thing issuch a _Mischmasch_ I feel like I was going crazy!"

Kapfer leaned across the table and patted him consolingly on the arm. 

"Don't make yourself sick over it, " he advised. "Put it up to Polatkin. You don't got to keep Scheikowitz's idee a secret now, Lubliner, becausesooner or later Polatkin must got to find it out. So you should letPolatkin know how you was up there last night, and that Rashkind wantsyou to go up there Friday night on account Miss Maslik was sick, andleave it to Polatkin to flag Scheikowitz and this here Fischko. "

"But----" Elkan began, when the strange expression of Kapfer's face madehim pause. Indeed, before he could proceed further, Kapfer jumped upfrom his chair. 

"Cheese it!" he said. "Here comes Polatkin. "

As he spoke, Polatkin caught sight of them and almost ran across theroom. 

"Elkan!" he exclaimed. "_Gott sei Dank_ I found you here. "

"What's the matter?" Elkan asked. 

Polatkin drew forward a chair and they all sat down. 

"I just had a terrible fuss with Scheikowitz, " he said. "This morning, when I got downtown, I thought I would tell him what I brought you backfor; so I says to him: 'Philip, ' I says, 'I want to tell you something, 'I says. 'I got an elegant _Shidduch_ for Elkan. '" He stopped and let hishand fall with a loud smack on his thigh. "Oo-ee!" he exclaimed. "What arow that feller made it! You would think, Elkan, I told him I got apistol to shoot you with, the way he acts. I didn't even got theopportunity to tell him who the _Shidduch_ was. He tells me I shouldmind my own business and calls me such names which honestly I wouldn'tcall a shipping clerk even. And what else d'ye think he says?"

Elkan and Kapfer shook their heads. 

"Why, he says that to-night, at eight o'clock, he himself is going tohave a _Shadchen_ by the name Fischko take you up to see a girl inHarlem which the name he didn't tell me at all; but he says she's gotfive thousand dollars a dowry. Did he say to you anything about it, Elkan?"

"The first I hear of it!" Elkan replied in husky tones as he averted hiseyes from Polatkin. "Why, I wouldn't know the feller Fischko if he stoodbefore me now, and he wouldn't know me neither. "

"Didn't he tell you her name?" Kapfer asked cautiously. 

"No, " Polatkin replied, "because I says right away that the girl I hadin mind would got a dowry of five thousand too; and then and thereScheikowitz gets so mad he smashes a chair on us--one of them new oneswe just bought, Elkan. So I didn't say nothing more, but I rung upRashkind right away and asks him how things turns out, and he saysnothing is settled yet. "

Elkan nodded guiltily. 

"So I got an idee, " Polatkin continued. "I thought, Elkan, we would dothis: Don't come downtown to-day at all, and to-night I would go up andmeet Fischko and tell him you are practically engaged and the wholething is off. Also I would _schenk_ the feller a ten-dollar bill heshouldn't bother us again. "

Elkan grasped the edge of the table. He felt as if consciousness wereslipping away from him, when suddenly Kapfer emitted a loud exclamation. 

"By jiminy!" he cried. "I got an idee! Why shouldn't I go up there andmeet this here Fischko?"

"You go up there?" Polatkin said. 

"Sure; why not? A nice girl like Miss--whatever her name is--ain't toogood for me, Mr. Polatkin. I got a good business there in Bridgetown, and----"

"But I don't know what for a girl she is at all, " Polatkin protested. 

"She's got anyhow five thousand dollars, " Kapfer retorted, "and when agirl's got five thousand dollars, Mr. Polatkin, beauty ain't evenskin-deep. "

"Sure, I know, " Polatkin agreed; "but so soon as you see Fischko andtell him you ain't Elkan Lubliner he would refuse to take you round tosee the girl at all. "

"Leave that to me, " Kapfer declared. "D'ye know what I'll tell him?" Helooked hard at Elkan Lubliner before he continued. "I'll tell him, " hesaid, "that Elkan is already engaged. "

"Already engaged!" Polatkin cried. 

"Sure!" Kapfer said--"secretly engaged unbeknownst to everybody. "

"But right away to-morrow morning Fischko would come down and tellScheikowitz that you says Elkan is secretly engaged, and Scheikowitzwould know the whole thing was a fake and that I am at the bottom ofit. "

"No, he wouldn't, " Kapfer rejoined, "because Elkan would then and theresay that he is secretly engaged and that would let you out. "

"Sure it would, " Polatkin agreed; "and then Scheikowitz would want tokill Elkan. "

Suddenly Elkan struck the table with his clenched fist. 

"I've got the idee!" he said. "I wouldn't come downtown tillSaturday--because we will say, for example, I am sick. Then, whenFischko says I am secretly engaged, you can say you don't know nothingabout it; and by the time I come down on Saturday morning I would beengaged all right, and nobody could do nothing any more. "

"That's true too, " Kapfer said, "because your date with Rashkind is forto-morrow night and by Saturday the whole thing would be over. "

Polatkin nodded doubtfully, but after a quarter of an hour's earnestdiscussion he was convinced of the wisdom of Elkan's plan. 

"All right, Elkan, " he said at last. "Be down early on Saturday. "

"Eight o'clock sure, " Elkan replied as he shook Polatkin's hand; "andby that time I hope you'll congratulate me on my engagement. "

"I hope so, " Polatkin said. 

"Me too, " Kapfer added after Polatkin departed; "and I also hope, Elkan, this would be a warning to you that the next time you get engaged youshould find out the girl's name in advance. "

 * * * * *

"Yes, siree, sir, " said Charles Fischko emphatically, albeit a triflethickly. "I guess you made a big hit there, Mr. Kapfer, and I don'tthink I am acting previously when I drink to the health of Mrs. Kapfer. "He touched glasses with Max Kapfer, who sat opposite to him at asecluded table in the Harlem Winter Garden, flanked by two bottles ofwhat had been a choice brand of California champagne. "Née Miss Maslik, "he added as he put down his glass; "and I think you are getting a younglady which is not only good-looking but she is got also a heart likegold. Look at the way she treats the servant girl they got there!Honestly, when I was round there this morning them two girls was talkinglike sisters already!"

"That's all right, " Kapfer rejoined; "she's got a right to treat thatgirl like a sister. She's a nice little girl--that servant girl. "

"Don't I know it!" Fischko protested as he poured himself out anotherglass of wine. "It was me that got her the job there two years agoalready; and before I would recommend to a family like B. Maslik's aservant girl, understand me, I would make sure she comes from decent, respectable people. Also the girl is a wonderful cook, Mr. Kapfer, simple, plain, everyday dish like _gefüllte Hechte_, Mr. Kapfer; shemakes it like it would be roast goose already--so fine she cooks it. Shelearned it from her mother, Mr. Kapfer, also a wonderful cook. Why, would you believe it, Mr. Kapfer, that girl's own mother and me comespretty near being engaged to be married oncet?"

"You don't say!" Kapfer commented. 

"That was from some years ago in the old country already, " Fischkocontinued; "and I guess I ought to be lucky I didn't do so, on accountshe marries a feller by the name Silbermacher, _olav hasholem_, which heis got the misfortune to get killed in Kishinef. Poor Mrs. Silbermacher, she didn't live long, and the daughter, Yetta, comes to America anorphan five years ago. Ever since then the girl looks out for herself;and so sure as you are sitting there she's got in savings bank alreadypretty near eight hundred dollars. "

"Is that so?" Kapfer interrupted. 

"Yes, sir, " Fischko replied; "and when she is got a thousand, understandme, I would find for her a nice young man, Mr. Kapfer, which he is gotanyhow twenty-five machines a contracting shop, y'understand, and shewill get married _und fertig_. With such good friends which I got itlike Polatkin & Scheikowitz, I could throw a little business their way, and the first thing you know she is settled for life. "

Here Fischko drained his glass and reached out his hand toward thebottle; but Kapfer anticipated the move and emptied the remainder of thewine into his own glass. 

"Before I order another bottle, Fischko, " he said, "I would like to talka little business with you. "

"Never mind another bottle, " Fischko said. "I thought we was throughwith our business for the evening. "

"With our business, yes, " Kapfer announced; "but this story which youare telling me about Miss Silbermacher interests me, Fischko, and I knowa young feller which he is got more as twenty-five machines acontracting shop; in fact, Fischko, he is a salesman which he makesanyhow his fifty to seventy-five dollars a week, and he wants to getmarried bad. "

"He couldn't want to get married so bad as all that, " Fischko commented, "because there's lots of girls which would be only too glad to marry asuch a young feller--girls with money even. "

"I give you right, Mr. Fischko, " Kapfer agreed; "but this young fellerain't the kind that marries for money. What he wants is a nice girlwhich she is good-looking like this here Miss Silbermacher and is a goodhousekeeper, understand me; and from what I've seen of MissSilbermacher she would be just the person. "

"What's his name?" Fischko asked. 

"His name, " said Kapfer, "is Ury Shemansky, a close friend from mine;and I got a date with him at twelve o'clock on the corner drug store atOne Hundred and Twenty-fifth Street that I should tell him how I cameout this evening. " He seized his hat from an adjoining hook. "So, ifyou'd wait here a few minutes, " he said, "I would go and fetch him rightround here. Shall I order another bottle before I go?"

Fischko shook his head. 

"I got enough, " he said; "and don't be long on account I must be goinghome soon. "

Kapfer nodded, and five minutes later he entered the all-night drugstore in question and approached a young man who was seated at the sodafountain. In front of him stood a large glass of "Phospho-Nervino, "warranted to be "A Speedy and Reliable Remedy for Nervous Headache, Sleeplessness, Mental Fatigue and Depression following Over-Brainwork";and as he was about to raise the glass to his lips Kapfer slapped him onthe shoulder. 

"Cheer up, Elkan, " he exclaimed. "Her name is Yetta Silbermacher andshe's got in savings bank eight hundred dollars. "

"What d'ye mean she's got money in savings bank?" Elkan protestedwearily, for the sleepless, brain-fatigued and depressed young man wasnone other than Elkan Lubliner. "Did you seen her?"

"I did, " Kapfer replied; "and Miss Maslik's a fine, lovely girl. The oldman ain't so bad either. He treated me elegant and Fischko thinks I madequite a hit there. "

"I ain't asking you about Miss Maslik at all, " Elkan said. "I mean MissSilbermacher"--he hesitated and blushed--"Yetta, " he continued, andburied his confusion in the foaming glass of "Phospho-Nervino. "

"That's just what I want to talk to you about, " Kapfer went on. "Did Iunderstand you are telling Polatkin that you never seen Fischko the_Shadchen_ and he never seen you neither?"

"That's right, " Elkan replied. 

"Then come right down with me to the Harlem Winter Garden, " Kapfer said. "I want you to meet him. He ain't a bad sort, even if he would be a_Shadchen_. "

"But what should I want to meet him for?" Elkan cried. 

"Because, " Kapfer explained, "I am going to marry this here Miss Maslik, Elkan; and I'm going to improve my store property, so that my trade willbe worth to Polatkin & Scheikowitz anyhow three thousand dollars ayear--ain't it?"

"What's that got to do with it?" Elkan asked. 

"It's got this much to do with it, " Kapfer continued: "To-morrowafternoon two o'clock I would have Polatkin and Scheikowitz at my roomin the Prince Clarence. You also would be there--and d'ye know who elsewould be there?"

Elkan shook his head. 

"Miss Yetta Silbermacher, " Kapfer went on; "because I am going to getFischko to bring her down there to meet an eligible party by the nameUry Shemansky. "

"What?" Elkan exclaimed. 

"Ssh-sh!" Kapfer cried reassuringly. "I am going to introduce you toFischko right away as Ury Shemansky, provided he ain't so _shikker_ whenI get back that he wouldn't recognize you at all. "

Elkan nodded and paid for his restorative, and on their way down to theHarlem Winter Garden they perfected the details of the appointment forthe following afternoon. 

"The reason why I am getting Fischko to bring her down, " Kapferexplained, "is because, in the first place, it looks pretty _schlecht_that a feller should meet a girl only once and, without the help of a_Shadchen_, gets right away engaged to her; and so, with Fischko the_Shadchen_ there, it looks better for you both. Furthermore, in thesecond place, a girl which is doing housework, Elkan, must got to havean excuse, understand me; otherwise she couldn't get away from her workat all. "

"But, " Elkan said, "how do you expect that Yetta would go with a_Shadchen_ to see this here Ury Shemansky when she is already engaged tome?"

"_Schafskopf!_" Kapfer exclaimed. "Telephone her the first thingto-morrow morning that you are this here Ury Shemansky and she wouldcome quick enough!"

"That part's all right, " Elkan agreed; "but I don't see yet how you aregoing to get Polatkin and Scheikowitz there. "

Kapfer nodded his head with spurious confidence; for of this, perhapsthe most important part of his plan, he felt extremely doubtful. 

"Leave that to me, " he said sagely, and the next moment they entered theHarlem Winter Garden to find Charles Fischko gazing sadly at a solutionof bicarbonate of soda and ammonia, a tumblerful of which stood in frontof him on the table. 

"Mr. Fischko, " Kapfer said, "this is my friend Ury Shemansky, thegentleman I was speaking to you about. "

"No relation to Shemansky who used to was in the customer pedlerbusiness on Ridge Street?" Fischko asked. 

"Not as I've heard, " Elkan said. 

"Because there's a feller, understand me, which he went to work andmarried a poor girl; and ever since he's got nothing but _Mazel_. Theweek afterward he found in the street a diamond ring worth two hundreddollars, and the next month a greenhorn comes over with ten thousandrubles and wants to go as partners together with him in business. In ayear's time Shemansky dissolves the partnership and starts in theremnant business with five thousand dollars net capital. He ain't beenestablished two weeks, understand me, when a liquor saloon next doorburns out and he gets a thousand dollars smoke damage; and one thingfollows another, y'understand, till to-day he's worth easy his fiftythousand dollars. That's what it is to marry a poor girl, Mr. Shemansky. " He took a pull at the tumbler of bicarbonate and made aninvoluntary grimace. "Furthermore, I am knowing this here MissSilbermacher ever since she is born, pretty nearly!" Fischko cried. 

"You did!" Elkan exclaimed. "Well, why didn't you tell me that, Kapfer?"

"I couldn't think of everything, " Kapfer protested. 

"Go ahead, " Elkan said, turning to Fischko; "let me know all abouther--everything! I think I got a right to know--ain't it?"

"Sure you have, " Fischko said as he cleared his throat oratorically; andtherewith he began a laudatory biography of Yetta Silbermacher, whileElkan settled himself to listen. With parted lips and eyes shining hisappreciation, he heard a narrative that justified beyond peradventurehis choice of a wife, and when Fischko concluded he smote the table withhis fist. 

"By jiminy!" he cried. "A feller should ought to be proud of a wife likethat!"

"Sure he should, " Kapfer said; "and her and Fischko would be down at myroom at the Prince Clarence to-morrow at two. "

He beckoned to the waiter. "So let's pay up and go home, " he concluded;"and by to-morrow night Fischko would got two matches to his credit. "

"_K'mo she-néemar_, " Fischko said as he rose a trifle laboriously to hisfeet, "it is commanded to promote marriages, visit the sick and bury thedead. "

"And, " Kapfer added, "you'll notice that promoting marriages comes aheadof the others. "

 * * * * *

When Marcus Polatkin arrived at his place of business the followingmorning he looked round him anxiously for his partner, who had departedsomewhat early the previous day with the avowed intention of seeing justhow sick Elkan was. As a matter of fact, Scheikowitz had discoveredElkan lying on the sofa at his boarding place, vainly attempting tosecure his first few minutes' sleep in over thirty-six hours; and he hadgone home truly shocked at Elkan's pallid and careworn appearance, though Elkan had promised to keep the appointment with Fischko. Polatkinfelt convinced, however, that his partner must have discovered thepretence of Elkan's indisposition, and his manner was a trifleartificial when he inquired after the absentee. 

"How was he feeling, Philip?" he asked. 

"Pretty bad, I guess, " Scheikowitz replied, whereat a blank expressioncame over Polatkin's face. "The boy works too hard, I guess. He ain'tslept a wink for two days. "

"Why, he seemed all right yesterday when I seen him, " Polatkin declared. 

"Yesterday?" Scheikowitz exclaimed. 

"I mean the day before yesterday, " Polatkin added hastily as theelevator door opened and a short, stout person alighted. He wore awrinkled frock coat and a white tie which perched coquettishly under hisleft ear; and as he approached the office he seemed to be labouringunder a great deal of excitement. 

"Oo-ee!" he wailed as he caught sight of Polatkin, and without furthersalutation he sank into the nearest chair. There he bowed his head inhis hands and rocked to and fro disconsolately. 

"Who's this crazy feller?" Scheikowitz demanded of his partner. 

Polatkin shrugged. 

"He's a button salesman by the name Rashkind, " Polatkin said. "Leave medeal with him. " He walked over to the swaying _Shadchen_ and shook himviolently by the shoulder. "Rashkind, " he said, "stop that nonsense andtell me what's the matter. "

Rashkind ceased his moanings and looked up with bloodshot eyes. 

"She's engaged!" he said. 

"She's engaged!" Polatkin repeated. "And you call yourself a_Shadchen_!" he said bitterly. 

"A _Shadchen_!" Scheikowitz cried. "Why, I thought you said he was abutton salesman. "

"Did I?" Polatkin retorted. "Well, maybe he is, Scheikowitz; but heain't no _Shadchen_. Actually the feller goes to work and takes Elkan upto see the girl, and they put him off by saying the girl was sick; andnow he comes down here and tells me the girl is engaged. "

"Well, " Scheikowitz remarked, "you couldn't get no sympathy from me, Polatkin. A feller which acts underhand the way you done, trying to makeup a _Shidduch_ for Elkan behind my back yet--you got what youdeserved. "

"What d'ye mean I got what I deserved?" Polatkin said indignantly. "Doyou think it would be such a bad thing for us--you and me both, Scheikowitz--if I could of made up a match between Elkan and B. Maslik'sa daughter?"

"B. Maslik's a daughter!" Scheikowitz cried. "Do you mean that this herefeller was trying to make up a match between Elkan and Miss BirdieMaslik?"

"That's just what I said, " Polatkin announced. 

"Then I can explain the whole thing, " Scheikowitz rejoinedtriumphantly. "Miss Maslik had a date to meet Elkan last night yet witha _Shadchen_ by the name Charles Fischko, and that's why B. Maslik toldthis here button salesman that his daughter was engaged. "

Rashkind again raised his head and regarded Scheikowitz with amalevolent grin. 

"_Schmooes!_" he jeered. "Miss Maslik is engaged and the _Shadchen_ wasCharles Fischko, but the _Chosan_ ain't Elkan Lubliner by a damsight. "

It was now Polatkin's turn to gloat, and he shook his head slowly up anddown. 

"So, Scheikowitz, " he said, "you are trying to fix up a _Shidduch_between Elkan and Miss Maslik without telling me a word about it, andyou get the whole thing so mixed up that it is a case of trying to sitbetween two chairs! You come down _mit_ a big bump and I ain't got nosympathy for you neither. "

"What was the feller's name?" Scheikowitz demanded hoarsely of Rashkind, who was straightening out his tie and smoothing his rumpled hair. 

"It's a funny quincidence, " Rashkind replied; "but you remember, Mr. Polatkin, I was talking to you the other day about Julius Flixman?"

"Yes, " Polatkin said, and his heart began to thump in anticipation ofthe answer. 

"Well, Julius Flixman, as I told you, sold out his store to a feller bythe name Max Kapfer, " Rashkind said and paused again. 

"_Nu!_" Scheikowitz roared. "What of it?"

"Well, this here Max Kapfer is engaged to be married to Miss BirdieMaslik, " Rashkind concluded; and when Scheikowitz looked from Rashkindtoward his partner the latter had already proceeded more than halfway tothe telephone. 

"And that's what your _Shadchen_ done for you, Mr. Scheikowitz!"Rashkind said as he put on his hat. He walked to the elevator and rangthe bell. 

"Yes, Mr. Scheikowitz, " Rashkind added, "as a _Shadchen_, maybe I am abutton salesman; but I'd a whole lot sooner be a button salesman as athief and don't you forget it!"

After the elevator had borne Rashkind away Scheikowitz went back to theoffice in time to hear Marcus engaged in a noisy altercation with thetelephone operator of the Prince Clarence Hotel. 

"What d'ye mean he ain't there?" he bellowed. "With you it's always thesame--I could never get nobody at your hotel. "

He hung up the receiver with force almost sufficient to wreck theinstrument. 

"That'll do, Polatkin!" Scheikowitz said. "We already got half ourfurniture smashed. "

"Did I done it?" Polatkin growled--the allusion being to the chairdemolished by Scheikowitz on the previous day. 

"You was the cause of it, " Scheikowitz retorted; "and, anyhow, who areyou ringing up at the Prince Clarence?"

"I'm ringing up that feller Kapfer, " Polatkin replied. "I want to tellthat sucker what I think of him. "

Then it was that Kapfer's theory as to the effect of his engagement onhis relations with Polatkin & Scheikowitz became justified in fact. 

"You wouldn't do nothing of the kind, " Scheikowitz declared. "It ain'tbad enough that Elkan loses this here _Shidduch_, but you are trying toJonah a good account also! Why, that feller Kapfer's business after hemarries Miss Maslik would be easy worth to us three thousand dollars ayear. "

"I don't care what his business is worth, " Polatkin shouted. "I wouldsay what I please to that highwayman!"

"What do you want to do?" Scheikowitz pleaded--"bite off your nose tospoil your face?"

Polatkin made no reply and he was about to go into the showroom when thetelephone bell rang. 

"Leave me answer it, " Scheikowitz said; and a moment later he picked upthe desk telephone and placed the receiver to his ear. 

"Hello!" he said. "Yes, this is Polatkin & Scheikowitz. This is Mr. Scheikowitz talking. "

Suddenly the instrument dropped with a clatter to the floor; and whileScheikowitz was stooping to pick it up Polatkin rushed into the office. 

"Scheikowitz!" he cried. "What are you trying to do--break up our wholeoffice yet? Ain't it enough you are putting all our chairs on the bumalready?"

Scheikowitz contented himself by glaring viciously at his partner andagain placed the receiver to his ear. 

"Hello, Mr. Kapfer, " he said. "Yes, I heard it this morning already. Them things travels fast, Mr. Kapfer. No, I don't blame you--I blamethis here Fischko. He gives me a dirty deal--that's all. "

Here there was a long pause, while Polatkin stood in the middle of theoffice floor like a bird-dog pointing at a covey of partridges. 

"But why couldn't you come down here, Mr. Kapfer?" Scheikowitz asked. Again there was a long pause, at the end of which Scheikowitz said:"Wait a minute--I'll ask my partner. "

"Listen here, Polatkin, " he said, placing his hand over the transmitter. "Kapfer says he wants to give us from two thousand five hundred dollarsan order, and he wants you and me to go up to the Prince Clarence at twoo'clock to see him. He wants us both there because he wants to arrangeterms of credit. "

"I would see him hung first!" Polatkin roared, and Scheikowitz took hishand from the transmitter. 

"All right, Mr. Kapfer, " he answered in dulcet tones; "me and Polatkinwill both be there. Good-bye. "

He hung up the receiver with exaggerated care. 

"And you would just bet your life that we will be there!" he said. "Andthat's all there is to it!"

 * * * * *

At half-past one that afternoon, while Max Kapfer was enjoying a goodcigar in the lobby of the Prince Clarence, he received an unexpectedvisitor in the person of Julius Flixman. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Flixman?" he cried, dragging forth a chair. 

Flixman extended a thin, bony hand in greeting and sat down wearily. 

"I don't do so good, Kapfer, " he said. "I guess New York don't agreewith me. " He distorted his face in what he intended to be an amiablesmile. "But I guess it agrees with you all right, " he continued. "Isuppose I must got to congradulate you on account you are going to beengaged to Miss Birdie Maslik. "

"Why, who told you about it?" Kapfer asked. 

"I met this morning a real-estater by the name Rashkind, which he isacquainted with the Maslik family, " Flixman replied, "and he says ithappened yesterday. Also they told me up at the hotel you was callingthere this morning to see me. "

"That's right, " Kapfer said; "and you was out. "

"I was down to see a feller on Center Street, " Flixman went on, "and soI thought, so long as you wanted to fix up about the note, I might justas well come down here. "

"I'm much obliged to you, " Kapfer interrupted. 

"Not at all, " Flixman continued. "When a feller wants to pay you moneyand comes to see you once to do it and you ain't in, understand me, thenit's up to you to go to him; so here I am. "

"But the fact is, " Kapfer said, "I didn't want to see you about payingthe money exactly. I wanted to see you about not paying it. "

"About not paying it?" Flixman cried. 

"Sure!" Kapfer replied. "I wanted to see if you wouldn't give me ayear's extension for that last thousand on account I am going to getmarried; and with what Miss Maslik would bring me, y'understand, andyour thousand dollars which I got here, I would just have enough to fixup my second floor and build a twenty-five-foot extension on the rear. You see, I figure it this way. " He searched his pocket for a piece ofpaper and produced a fountain pen. "I figure that the fixtures cost metwenty-two hundred, " he began, "and----"

At this juncture Flixman flipped his fingers derisively. 

"Pipe dreams you got it!" he said. "That store as it stands was goodenough for me, and it should ought to be good enough for you. Furthermore, Kapfer, if you want to invest Maslik's money and your ownmoney, _schon gut_; but me, I could always put a thousand dollars into abond, Kapfer. So, if it's all the same to you, I'll take your check andcall it square. "

Kapfer shrugged resignedly. 

"I had an idee you would, " he said, "so I got it ready for you; because, Mr. Flixman, you must excuse me when I tell you that you got thereputation of being a good collector. "

"Am I?" Flixman snapped out. "Well, maybe I am, Kapfer, but I could givemy money up, too, once in a while; and, believe me or not, Kapfer, thisafternoon yet I am going to sign a will which I am leaving all my moneyto a Talmud Torah School. "

"You don't say so?" Kapfer said as he drew out his checkbook. 

"That's what I am telling you, " Flixman continued, "because there's alot of young loafers running round the streets which nobody got anycontrol over 'em at all; and if they would go to a Talmud Torah School, understand me, not only they learn 'em there a little _LoschenHakodesch_, y'understand, but they would also pretty near club the lifeout of 'em. "

"I'll write out a receipt on some of the hotel paper here, " Kapfer saidas he signed and blotted the check. 

"Write out two of 'em, so I would have a copy of what I am giving you, "Flixman rejoined. "It's always just so good to be businesslike. That'swhat I told that lawyer to-day. He wants me I should remember a coupleof orphan asylums he's interested in, and I told him that if all themsuckers would train up their children they would learn a business andnot holler round the streets and make life miserable for people, theywouldn't got to be orphans at all. Half the orphans is that way onaccount they worried their parents to death with their carryings-on, andwhen they go to orphan asylums they get treated kind yet. And people isfoolish enough to pay a lawyer fifty dollars if he should draw up a willto leave the orphan asylum their good hard-earned money. "

He snorted indignantly as he examined Kapfer's receipt and compared itwith the original. 

"Well, " he concluded as he appended his signature to the receipt, "I gothim down to twenty-five dollars and I'll have that will business settledup this afternoon yet. "

He placed the check and the receipt in his wallet and shook hands withKapfer. 

"Good-bye, " he said. "And one thing let me warn you against: A _Chosan_should always get his money in cash _oder_ certified check before hegoes under the _Chuppah_ at all; otherwise, after you are married andyour father-in-law is a crook, understand me, you could kiss yourselfgood-bye with your wife's dowry--and don't you forget it!"

Max walked with him down the lobby; and they had barely reached theentrance when Charles Fischko and Miss Yetta Silbermacher arrived. 

"Hello, Fischko!" Max cried, as Flixman tottered out into thestreet; but Fischko made no reply. Instead he suddenly let go MissSilbermacher's arm and dashed hurriedly to the sidewalk. Max led MissSilbermacher to a chair and engaged her immediately in conversation. Shewas naturally a little embarrassed by her unusual surroundings, thoughshe was becomingly--not to say fashionably--attired in garments of herown making; and she gazed timidly about her for her absent lover. 

"Elkan ain't here yet, " Max explained, "on account you are a littleahead of time. "

Miss Silbermacher's brown eyes sparkled merrily. 

"I ain't the only one, " she said as she jumped to her feet; for, thoughthe hands of the clock on the desk pointed to ten minutes to two, ElkanLubliner approached from the direction of the café. He caught sight ofthem while he was still some distance away, and two overturned chairsmarked the last of his progress toward them. 

At first he held out his hand in greeting; but the two little dimplesthat accompanied Yetta's smile overpowered his sense of propriety, andhe embraced her affectionately. 

"Where's Fischko?" he asked. 

Both Kapfer and Miss Silbermacher looked toward the street entrance. 

"He was here a minute ago, " Kapfer said. 

"Did you tell him that I wasn't Ury Shemansky at all?" Elkan inquired. 

"Sure I did, " Miss Silbermacher replied, "and he goes on somethingterrible, on account he says Mr. Kapfer told him last night you wasalready engaged; so I told him I know you was engaged because I am theparty you are engaged to. "

She squeezed Elkan's hand. 

"And he says then, " she continued, "that if that's the case what do wewant him down here for? So I told him we are going to meet Mr. Polatkinand Mr. Scheikowitz, and----"

"And they'll be right here in a minute, " Kapfer interrupted; "so you goupstairs to my room and I'll find Fischko and bring him up also. "

He conducted them to the elevator, and even as the door closed behindthem Fischko came running up the hall. 

"Kapfer, " he said, "who was that feller which he was just here talkingto you?"

"What d'ye want to know for?" Kapfer asked. 

"Never mind what I want to know for!" Fischko retorted. "Who is he?"

"Well, if you must got to know, " Kapfer said, "he's a feller by the nameJulius Flixman. "

"What?" Fischko shouted. 

"Fischko, " Kapfer protested, "you ain't in no Canal Street coffee househere. This is a first-class hotel. "

Fischko nodded distractedly. 

"Sure, I know, " he said. "Is there a place we could sit down here? Iwant to ask you something a few questions. "

Kapfer led the way to the café and they sat down at a table near thedoor. 

"Go ahead, Fischko, " he said. "Polatkin and Scheikowitz will be here anyminute. "

"Well, " Fischko began falteringly, "if this here feller is JuliusFlixman, which he is coming from Bessarabia _schon_ thirty years agoalready, I don't want to do nothing in a hurry, Mr. Kapfer, on account Iwant to investigate first how things stand. "

"What d'ye mean?" Kapfer demanded. 

"Why, I mean this, " Fischko cried: "If this here Flixman is well fixed, Kapfer, I want to know it, on account Miss Yetta Silbermacher is fromFlixman's sister a daughter, understand me!"

Kapfer lit a cigar deliberately before replying. He was thinking hard. 

"Do you mean to tell me, " he said at last, "that this here MissSilbermacher is Julius Flixman's a niece?"

"That's what I said, " Fischko replied. "He comes here from Bessarabiathirty years ago already and from that day to this I never heard a wordabout him--Miss Silbermacher neither. "

"Ain't the rest of his family heard from him?" Kapfer asked guardedly. 

"There ain't no rest of his family, " Fischko said. "Mrs. Silbermacherwas his only sister, and she's dead over ten years since. "

Kapfer nodded and drew reflectively on his cigar. 

"Well, Fischko, " he said finally, "I wouldn't let Flixman worry me none. He's practically a _Schnorrer_; he was in here just now on account hehears I am going to marry a rich girl and touches me for some money onthe head of it. I guess you noticed that he looks pretty shabby--ain'tit?"

"And sick too, " Fischko added, just as a bellboy came into the café. 

"Mr. Copper!" he bawled, and Max jumped to his feet. 

"Right here, " he said, and the bellboy handed him a card. 

"Tell them I'll be with them in a minute, " he continued; "and you stayhere till I come back, Fischko. I won't be long. "

He followed the bellboy to the desk, where stood Polatkin andScheikowitz. 

"Good afternoon, gentlemen, " he said. 

"Well, Mr. Kapfer, " Scheikowitz replied, "I guess I got to congradulateyou. "

"Sure!" Kapfer murmured perfunctorily. "Let's go into the Moorish Room. "

"What's the matter with the café?" Polatkin asked; but Scheikowitzsettled the matter by leading the way to the Moorish Room, where theyall sat down at a secluded table. 

"The first thing I want to tell you, gentlemen, " Kapfer said, "is that Iknow you feel that I turned a dirty trick on you about Elkan. "

Scheikowitz shrugged expressively. 

"The way we feel about it, Mr. Kapfer, " he commented, "is that bygonesmust got to be bygones--and that's all there is to it. "

"But, " Kapfer said, "I don't want the bygones to be all on my side; so Igot a proposition to make you. How would it be if I could fix up a good_Shidduch_ for Elkan myself?"

"What for a _Shidduch_?" Polatkin asked. 

"The girl is an orphan, " Kapfer replied, "_aber_ she's got one uncle, abachelor, which ain't got no relation in the world but her, and he'sworth anyhow seventy-five thousand dollars. "

"How do you know he's worth that much?" Polatkin demanded. 

"Because I got some pretty close business dealings with him, " Kapferreplied; "and not only do I know he's worth that much, but I guess youdo too, Mr. Polatkin, on account his name is Julius Flixman. "

"Julius Flixman?" Scheikowitz cried. "Why, Julius Flixman ain't got arelation in the world--he told me so himself. "

"When did he told you that?" Kapfer asked. 

"A couple of days ago, " Scheikowitz replied. 

"Then that accounts for it, " Kapfer said. "A couple of days ago nobodyknows he had a niece--not even Flixman himself didn't; but to-day yet hewould know it and he would tell you so himself. "

"But----" Scheikowitz began, when once again a page entered the room, bawling a phonetic imitation of Kapfer's name. 

"Wanted at the 'phone, " he called as he caught sight of Kapfer. 

"Excuse me, " Kapfer said. "I'll be right back. "

He walked hurriedly out of the room, and Polatkin turned with a shrug tohis partner. 

"Well, Scheikowitz, " he began, "what did I told you? We are up here on afool's errand--ain't it?"

Scheikowitz made no reply. 

"I'll tell you, Polatkin, " he said at length, "Flixman himself says tome he did got one sister living in Bessarabia, and he ain't heard fromher in thirty years; and----"

At this juncture Kapfer rushed into the room. 

"Scheikowitz, " he gasped, "I just now got a telephone message from alawyer on Center Street, by the name Goldenfein, I should come rightdown there. Flixman is taken sick suddenly and they find in his pocketmy check and a duplicate receipt which he gives me, written on the hotelpaper. Do me the favour and come with me. "

Fifteen minutes later they stepped out of a taxicab in front of anold-fashioned office building in Center Street and elbowed their waythrough a crowd of over a hundred people toward the narrow doorway. 

"Where do yous think you're going?" asked a policeman whose broadshoulders completely blocked the little entrance. 

"We was telephoned for, on account a friend of ours by the name Flixmanis taken sick here, " Kapfer explained. 

"Go ahead, " the policeman said more gently; "but I guess you're toolate. "

"Is he dead?" Scheikowitz cried, and the policeman nodded solemnly as hestood to one side. 

 * * * * *

More than two hours elapsed before Kapfer, Polatkin, and Scheikowitzreturned to the Prince Clarence. With them was Kent J. Goldenfein. 

"Mr. Kapfer, " the clerk said, "there's a man been waiting for you in thecafé for over two hours. "

"I'll bring him right in, " Kapfer said, and two minutes afterward hebrought the gesticulating Fischko out of the café. 

"Do you think I am a dawg?" Fischko cried. "I've been here two hours!"

"Well, come into the Moorish Room a minute, " Kapfer pleaded, "and I'llfix everything up with you afterward. "

He led the protesting _Shadchen_ through the lobby, and when theyentered the Moorish Room an impressive scene awaited them. On a divan, beneath some elaborate plush draperies, sat Kent J. Goldenfein, flankedon each side by Polatkin and Scheikowitz respectively, while spread onthe table in front of them were the drafts of Flixman's will and theengrossed, unsigned copy, together with such other formidable-lookingdocuments as Goldenfein happened to find in his pockets. He rosemajestically as Fischko entered and turned on him a beetling frown. 

"Is this the fellow?" he demanded sepulchrally, and Kapfer nodded. 

"Mr. Fischko, " Goldenfein went on, "I am an officer of the Supreme Courtand I have been retained to investigate the affairs of Mr. JuliusFlixman. "

"Say, lookyhere, Kapfer, " Fischko cried. "What is all this?"

Kapfer drew forward a chair. 

"Sit down, Fischko, " he said, "and answer the questions that he isasking you. "

"But----" Fischko began. 

"Come, come, Mr. Fischko, " Goldenfein boomed, "you are wasting our timehere. Raise your right hand!"

Fischko glanced despairingly at Kapfer and then obeyed. 

"Do you solemnly swear, " said Goldenfein, who, besides being anattorney-at-law was also a notary public, "that the affidavit you willhereafter sign will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but thetruth, so help you God?"

"But----" Fischko began again. 

"Do you?" Goldenfein roared, and Fischko nodded. Forthwith Goldenfeinplied him with such ingeniously fashioned questions concerning theFlixman family that the answers presented a complete history of all itsbranches. Furthermore, the affidavit which Goldenfein immediately drewup lacked only such confirmatory evidence as could easily be supplied toestablish the identity of Miss Yetta Silbermacher as Julius Flixman'sonly heir-at-law; and, after Fischko had meekly signed the jurat, Goldenfein rose ponderously to his feet. 

"I congratulate you, Mr. Polatkin, " he said. "I think there is no doubtthat your nephew's fiancée will inherit Flixman's estate, thanks to myprofessional integrity. "

"What d'ye mean your professional integrity?" Kapfer asked. 

"Why, if I hadn't refused to accept twenty-two dollars for drawing thewill and insisted on the twenty-five we had agreed upon, " Goldenfeinexplained, "he would never have suffered the heart attack whichprevented his signing the will before he died. "

"Died!" Fischko exclaimed. "Is Julius Flixman dead?"

"_Koosh_, Fischko!" Polatkin commanded. "You would think you was one ofthe family the way you are acting. Come down to our store to-morrow andwe would arrange things with you. " He turned to Kapfer. 

"Let's go upstairs and see Elkan--and Yetta, " he said. 

Immediately they trooped to the elevator and ascended to the seventhfloor. 

"All of you wait here in the corridor, " Kapfer whispered, "and I'll goand break it to them. " He tiptoed to his room and knocked gently at thedoor. 

"Come!" Elkan cried, and Kapfer turned the knob. 

On a sofa near the window sat Elkan, with his arm surrounding hisfiancée's waist and her head resting on his shoulder. 

"Hello, Max!" he cried. "What's kept you? We must have been waiting hereat least a quarter of an hour!"

CHAPTER FOUR

HIGHGRADE LINES

"Sure, I know, Mr. Scheikowitz, " cried Elkan Lubliner, junior partner ofPolatkin, Scheikowitz & Company, as he sat in the firm's office late oneFebruary afternoon; "but if you want to sell a highgrade concern likeJoseph Kammerman you must got to got a highgrade line of goods. "

"Ain't I am telling you that all the time?" Scheikowitz replied. "_Aber_we sell here a popular-price line, Elkan. So what is the use talking weain't ekvipt for a highgrade line. "

"What d'ye mean we ain't equipped, Mr. Scheikowitz?" Elkan protested. "We got here machines and we got here fixtures, and all we need it nowis a highgrade designer and a couple really good cutters like that newfeller which is working for us. "

"That's all right, too, Elkan, " Marcus Polatkin interrupted; "but itain't the ekvipment which it is so important. The reputation which wegot for selling a popular-price line we couldn't get rid of so easy, understand me, and that _Bétzimmer_ buyer of Kammerman's wouldn't got noconfidence in us at all. The way he figures it we could just so muchturn out a highgrade line of goods here as you could expect a fellerwhich is acting in a moving pictures to all of a sudden sing likeCharuso. "

"Besides, " Scheikowitz added, "highgrade designers and really goodcutters means more capital, Elkan. "

"The capital you shouldn't worry about at all, " Elkan retorted. "Nextweek my Yetta gets falling due a second mortgage from old man Flixmanfor five thousand dollars, and----"

Polatkin made a flapping gesture with his right hand. 

"Keep your money, Elkan, " he said. "You could got lots of better ways toinvest it for Yetta as fixing ourselves up to sell big _Machers_ likeJoseph Kammerman. "

"But it don't do no harm I should drop in and see them people. Ain'tit?"

"Sure not, " Scheikowitz continued as he swung round in his revolvingchair and seized a pile of cutting clips. "They got an elegant storethere on Fifth Avenue which it is a pleasure to go into even; and theworst that happens you, Elkan, is you are out a good cigar for that Mr. Dalzell up there. "

Elkan nodded gloomily, and as he left the office Polatkin's face relaxedin an indulgent smile. 

"The boy is getting awful ambitious lately, Scheikowitz, " he said. 

"What d'ye mean, ambitious?" Philip Scheikowitz cried angrily. "If youwould be only twenty-three years of age, Polatkin, and married to a richgirl, understand me--and also partner in a good concern, which the wholething he done it himself, Polatkin--you would act a whole lot moreambitious as he does. Instead of knocking the boy, Polatkin, you shouldought to give him credit for what he done. "

"Who is knocking the boy?" Polatkin demanded. "All I says is the boy isambitious, Scheikowitz--which, if you don't think it's ambitious afeller tries to sell goods to Joseph Kammerman, Scheikowitz, what is itthen?"

"There's worser people to sell goods to as Joseph Kammerman, Polatkin, which he is a millionaire concern, understand me, " Scheikowitz declared;"and you could take it from me, Polatkin, even if you would accuse himhe is ambitious _oder_ not, that boy always got idees to do bigthings--and he works hard till he lands 'em. So if you want to call thatambitious, Polatkin, go ahead and do so. When a loafer knocks it's aboost every time. "

With this ultimatum Scheikowitz followed his junior partner to the rearof the loft, where Elkan regarded with a critical eye the labors of hiscutting-room staff. 

"_Nu_, Elkan, " Scheikowitz asked, "what's biting you now?"

Elkan winked significantly--and a moment later he tapped an assistantcutter on the shoulder. 

"Max, " he said, "do you got maybe a grudge against that piece of goods, the way you are slamming it round?"

The assistant cutter smiled in an embarrassed fashion. 

"The fact is, " he said apologetically, "I wasn't thinking about themgoods at all. When you are laying out goods for cutting, Mr. Lubliner, you don't got to think much--especially pastel shades. "

"Pastel shades?" Elkan repeated. 

"That's what I said, " the cutter replied. "_Mit_ colors like reds andgreens, which they are hitting you right in the face, so to speak, youcouldn't get your mind off of 'em at all; but pastel shades, that'ssomething else again. They quiet you like smoking a cigarette. "

Elkan turned to his partner with a shrug. 

"When I was working by B. Gans, " the cutter went on, "I am laying out apiece of old gold crêpe _mit_ a silver-thread border, and I assure you, Mr. Lubliner, it has an effect on me like some one would give me a glassof schnapps already. "

"_Stiegen_, Max, " said Elkan, moving away, "you got too much to say foryourself. "

Max nodded resignedly and continued the spreading of the goods on thecutting table, while Elkan and Scheikowitz walked out of the room. 

"That's the new feller I was telling you about, " Elkan said. "_Meshugganeh_ Max Merech they call him. "

"_Meshugga_ he may be, " Scheikowitz replied, "but just the same he's gota couple of good idees also, Elkan. Only this morning he makes Redmanthe designer pretty near crazy when he says that the blue soutache onthat new style 2060 kills the blue in the yoke, y'understand; and he wasright too, Elkan. Polatkin and me made Redman change it over. "

Elkan shrugged again as he put on his hat and coat preparatory to goinghome. 

"A lot our class of trade worries about such things!" he exclaimed. "Sofar as they are concerned the soutache could be crimson and the yokegreen, and if the price was right they'd buy it anyhow. "

"Don't you fool yourself, Elkan, " Scheikowitz said while Elkan rang forthe elevator. "The price is never right if the workmanship ain't good. "

 * * * * *

That Elkan Lubliner's progress in business had not kept pace with hissocial achievements was a source of much disappointment to both Mrs. Lubliner and himself; for though the firm of Polatkin, Scheikowitz &Company was still rated seventy-five thousand dollars to one hundredthousand dollars--credit good--Elkan and Mrs. Lubliner moved in thesocial orbit of no less a personage than of Max Koblin, the RaincoatKing, whose credit soared triumphantly among the A's and B's ofold-established commission houses. 

Indeed it was a party at Max Koblin's house that evening which causedElkan to leave his place of business at half-past five; and when Mrs. Lubliner and he sallied forth from the gilt and porphyry hallway oftheir apartment dwelling they were fittingly arrayed to meet Max'sguests, none of whom catered to the popular-price trade of Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company. 

"Why didn't you told him we are getting next week paid off for fivethousand dollars a second mortgage?" Yetta said, continuing aconversation begun at dinner that evening. 

"I did told him, " Elkan insisted; "but what is the use talking to acouple of old-timers like them?"

Yetta sniffed contemptuously with the impatience of youth at the foiblesof senility, as exemplified by the doddering Philip Scheikowitz, agedforty-five, and the valetudinarian Marcus Polatkin, whose hair, albeitunfrosted, had been blighted and in part swept away by the vicissitudesof forty-two winters. 

"You can't learn an old dawg young tricks, " Elkan declared, "and wemight just as well make up our minds to it, Yetta, we would nevercompete with such highgrade concerns like B. Gans _oder_ Schwefel &Zucker. "

They walked over two blocks in silence and then Elkan broke out anew. 

"I tell you, " he said, "I am sick and tired of it. B. Gans talks all thetime about selling this big _Macher_ and that big _Macher_, and him andMr. Schwefel gets telling about what a millionaire like Kammerman saysto him the other day, or what he says to Mandelberger, of Chicago, y'understand--and I couldn't say nothing! If I would commence to tell'em what I says to such customers of ours like One-Eye Feigenbaum _oder_H. Margonin, of Bridgetown, understand me, they would laugh me in myface yet. "

Yetta pressed his arm consolingly as they ascended the stoop of MaxKoblin's house on Mount Morris Park West, and two minutes later theyentered the front parlour of that luxurious residence. 

"And do you know what he says to me?" a penetrating barytone voiceannounced as they came in. "He says to me, 'Benson, ' he says, 'I've beenputting on musical shows now for fifteen years, and an idee like thatcomes from a genius already. There's a fortune in it!'"

At this juncture Mrs. Koblin noted the arrival of the last of herguests. 

"Why, hello, Yetta!" she cried, rising to her feet. "Ain't youfashionable getting here so late?"

She kissed Yetta and held out a hand to Elkan as she spoke. 

"Ain't you ashamed of yourself, Elkan, keeping Yetta's dinner waitingbecause you claim you're so busy downtown?" she went on. "I guess youknow everybody here except Mr. Benson. "

She nodded toward the promulgator of Heaven-born ideas, who bowedsolemnly. 

"Pleased to meet you, Mister----"

"Lubliner, " Elkan said. 

"Mister Lubliner, " Benson repeated, passing his begemmed fingers througha shock of black, curly hair. "And the long and short of it is, " hecontinued, addressing the company, "to-morrow I'm getting a scenarioalong them lines I just indicated to you from one of the highest-gradefellers that's writing. "

Here ensued a pause, during which B. Gans searched his mind for ananecdote concerning some retailer of sufficiently good financialstanding, while Joseph Schwefel, of Schwefel & Zucker, cleared histhroat preparatory to launching a verbatim report of a conversationbetween himself and a buyer for one of the most exclusive costume houseson Fifth Avenue; but even as Schwefel rounded his lips to enunciate anintroductory "Er, " Benson obtained a fresh start. 

"Now you remember 'The Diners Out, ' Ryan & Bernbaum's production lastseason?" he said, addressing Elkan. "In that show they had an idee likethis: Eight ponies is let down from the flies--see?--and George DeFreesmakes his entrance in a practical airyoplane--I think it was GeorgeDeFrees was working for Ryan & Bernbaum last year, or was it SammyPotter?"

At this point he screwed up his face and leaning his elbow on the arm ofhis chair he placed four fingers on his forehead in the attitude knowntheatrically as Business of Deep Consideration. 

"No, " he said at last--"it was George DeFrees. George jumps out of theairyoplane and says: 'They followed me to earth, I see. '"

Benson raised his eyebrows at the assembled guests. 

"Angels!" he announced. "Get the idee? 'They followed me to earth, Isee. ' Cue. And then he sings the song hit of the show: 'Come Take a Ridein My Airyoplane. '"

B. Gans shuffled his feet uneasily and Joseph Schwefel pulled down hiswaistcoat. As manufacturers of highgrade garments they had accompaniedmore than one customer to the entertainment described by Benson; but toElkan the term "ponies" admitted of only one meaning, and thisconversational arabesque of flies, little horses, aeroplanes and GeorgeDeFrees made him fairly dizzy. 

"And, " M. Sidney Benson said before B. Gans could head him off, "justthat there entrance boomed the show. Ryan & Bernbaum up to date clearsa hundred and twenty thousand dollars over and above all expenses. "

"Better as the garment business!" Max Koblin commented--and B. Gansnodded and yawned. 

"Ain't we going to have no pinocle?" he asked. Max rose and threw openthe sliding doors leading to the dining room, where cards and chips werein readiness. 

"Will you join us, Mr. Benson?" he asked. 

"That'll make five with Mr. Lubliner, " Benson replied; "so supposingyou, Gans and Schwefel go ahead, and Mr. Lubliner and me will join youlater. Otherwise you would got to deal two of us out--which it makes apretty slow game that way. "

"Just as you like, " Max said; and after Mrs. Koblin and Yetta hadretired abovestairs to view the most recent accession to Mrs. Koblin'swardrobe, Benson pulled up the points of his high collar and adjustedhis black stock necktie. Then he lit a fresh cigar and prepared to laybare to Elkan the arcana of the theatrical business. 

"Yes, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "the show business is a business like anyother business. It ain't like you got an idee it is--opening wine for abunch of chickens, understand me, and running round the streets till allhours of the morning. "

"I never got no such idee, " Elkan protested. 

"You ain't, Mr. Lubliner, " Benson continued, "because it's veryevidence to me that you don't know nothing about it; but there's a wholelot of people got that idee anyhow, y'understand; and what I am alwaystrying to tell everybody is that the show business is like the garmentbusiness _oder_ the drygoods business--a business for a business man, not a loafer!"

Elkan made an inarticulate noise which Benson took to be an expressionof interest and encouragement. 

"At the same time art has got a whole lot to do with it, " he wenton--"art and idees; and when you take a feller like Ryan, which he couldwrite a show, write the music, put it on and play the leading part allby himself, y'understand, and a feller like Bernbaum, which used to wasMiller, Bernbaum & Company in the pants business--you got there an ideelcombination!"

Elkan nodded and looked helplessly round him at the Circassian walnut, of which half a forestful had gone to make up the furnishings ofKoblin's front parlor. 

"But, " Benson said emphatically, "you take me, for instance--and whatwas I?"

He told off his former occupations with the index finger of his righthand on each digit of his left. 

"First I was a salesman; second I was for myself in the infants' wearbusiness; third I was _noch einmal_ a salesman. Then I become an actor, because everybody knows my act, which I called it 'Your Old FriendMaslowsky. ' For four years I played all the first-class vaudevillecircuits here and on the other side in England. But though I made goodmoney, Mr. Lubliner, the real big money is in the producing end. "

"Huh-huh!" Elkan ejaculated. 

"So that's the way it is with me, Mr. Lubliner, " Benson continued. "I amjust like Ryan & Bernbaum, only instead of two partners there is onlyjust one; which I got the art, the idees and the business ability all inmyself!"

"That must make it very handy for you, " Elkan commented. 

"Handy ain't no name for it, " Benson replied. "It's something you don'tsee nowheres else in the show business; but I'll tell you the truth, Mr. Lubliner--the work is too much for me!"

"Why don't you get a partner?" Elkan asked. 

Benson made a circular gesture with his right hand. 

"I could get lots of partners with big money, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "but why should I divide my profits? Am I right or wrong?"

"Well, that depends how you are looking at it, " Elkan said. 

"I am looking at it from the view of a business man, Mr. Lubliner, "Benson rejoined. "Here I got a proposition which I am going to put on--ashow of idees--a big production, understand me; which if Ryan &Bernbaum makes from their 'Diners Out' a hundred thousand dollars, _verstehst du_, I could easily make a hundred and fifty thousand! Andyet, Mr. Lubliner, all I invest is five thousand dollars and fivethousand more which I am making a loan at a bank. "

"Which bank?" Elkan asked--so quickly that Benson almost jumped in hisseat. 

"I--I didn't decide which bank yet, " he replied. "You see, Mr. Lubliner, I got accounts in three banks. First I belonged to the FifteenthNational Bank. Then they begged me I should go in the Minuit NationalBank. All right. I went in the Minuit National Bank. H'afterward SamFeder comes to me and says: 'Benson, ' he says, 'you are an old friendfrom mine, ' he says. 'Why do you bother yourself you should go into thisbank and that bank?' he says. 'Why don't you come to my bank?' he says, 'and I would give you all the money you want. ' So you see, Mr. Lubliner, it is immaterial to me which bank I get my money from. "

Again he passed his jewelled fingers through his hair. 

"No, Mr. Lubliner, " he announced after a pause, "my own brother even Iwouldn't give a look-in. "

Elkan made no reply. As a result of Benson's gesture he was busyestimating the value of eight and a quarter carats at eighty-sevendollars and fifty cents a carat. 

"Because, " Benson continued, "the profits is something you could reallycall enormous! If you got the time I would like to show you a fewfigures. "

"I got all evening, " Elkan answered, whereat Benson pulled from hiswaistcoat pocket a fountain pen ornamented with gold filigree. 

"First, " he said, "is the costumes. "

And therewith he plunged into a maze of calculation that lasted fornearly an hour. Moreover, at the end of that period he entered into anew series of figures, tending to show that by the investment of anadditional five thousand dollars the profits could be increasedseventy-five per cent. 

"But I'm satisfied to invest my ten thousand, " he said, "because fivethousand is my own and the other five thousand I could get easy from theKosciuscko Bank, whereas the additional five thousand I must try tointerest somebody he should invest it with me. And so far as that goes Iwouldn't bother myself at all. "

"You're dead right, " Elkan said by way of making himself agreeable, whereat Benson grew crimson with chagrin. 

"Sure I'm dead right, " he said; "and if you and Mrs. Lubliner would comedown to my office in the Siddons Theatre Building to-morrow night, eighto'clock, I would send one of my associates round with you and he willget you tickets for the 'Diners Out, ' understand me; and then you wouldsee for yourself what a big house they got there. Even on Monday nightthey turn 'em away!"

"I'm much obliged to you, " Elkan replied. "I'm sure Mrs. Lubliner and mewould enjoy it very much. "

"I'm sorry for you if you wouldn't, " Benson retorted; "and thatthere 'Diners Out' ain't a marker to the show I'm putting on, Mr. Lubliner--which you can see for yourself, a business proposition, which pans out pretty near two hundred thousand dollars on afifteen-thousand-dollar investment, is got to be right up to the mark. Ain't it?"

"I thought you said ten thousand dollars was the investment, " Elkanremarked. 

"I did, " Benson replied with some heat; "but if some one comes along andwants to invest the additional five thousand dollars I wouldn't turn himdown, Mr. Lubliner. "

He rose to his feet to join the pinocle players in the dining room. 

"So I hope you enjoy the show to-morrow night, " he added as he strolledaway. 

 * * * * *

From six to eight every evening Max Merech underwent a gradualtransformation, for six o'clock was the closing hour at Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's establishment, while eight marked the advent ofthe Sarasate Trio at the Café Román, on Delancey Street. Thus, at six, Max Merech was an assistant cutter; and, indeed, until after he ate hissupper he still bore the outward appearance of an assistant cutter, though inwardly he felt a premonitory glow. After half-past seven, however, he buttoned on a low, turned-down collar with its concomitantbroad Windsor tie, and therewith he assumed his real character--that ofa dilettante. 

At the Café Román each evening he specialized on music; but with thespirit of the true dilettante he neglected no one of the rest of thearts, and was ever to be found at the table next to the piano, a warmadvocate of the latest movement in painting and literature, as well asan appreciative listener to the ultramodern music discoursed by theSarasate Trio. 

"If that ain't a winner I ain't no judge!" he said to Boris Volkovisk, the pianist, on the evening of the conversation with Elkan set forthabove. He referred to a violin sonata of Boris' own composition whichthe latter and Jacob Rekower, the violinist, had just concluded. 

Boris smiled and wiped away the perspiration from his bulging forehead, for the third movement of the sonata, marked in the score _Allegro confuoco_, had taxed even the technic of its composer. 

"A winner of what?" Boris asked--"money? Because supposing a miraclehappens that somebody would publish it nobody buys it. "

Max nodded his head slowly in sympathetic acquiescence. 

"But anyhow you ain't so bad off like some composers, " he said. "You'veanyhow got a good musician to play your stuff for you. "

He smiled at Jacob Rekower, who plunged his hands into his trouserspockets and shrugged deprecatingly. 

"Sure, I know, " Rekower said; "and if we play too much good stuffMarculescu raises the devil with us we should play more popular music. "

He spat out the words "popular music" with an emphasis that made a_Tarrok_ player at the next table jump in his seat. 

"_Nu_, " said the latter as the deal passed, "what is the matter withpopular music? If it wouldn't be for writing popular music, understandme, many a decent, respectable composer would got to starve!"

He turned his chair round and abandoned the card game the better to airhis views on popular music. 

"Furthermore, " he said, "I know a young feller by the name Milton Jassywhich last year he makes two thousand dollars already from syncopating_Had gadyo_ and calling it the "Wildcat Rag, " and this year he iswriting the music for a new show and I bet yer the least he makes out ofit is five thousand dollars. "

"Yow! Five thousand dollars!" Merech exclaimed. "Such people you hearabout, but you _oser_ see 'em. "

"Don't you?" said the _Tarrok_ player, drawing a cardcase from hisbreast pocket. "Well, you see one now. "

He laid face upward on the table a card which read:

 +============================================+ | | | "THE SONGS YOU ALL SING" | | | | | | MILTON JASSY | | SIDDONS THEATRE BUILDING | | ROOM 1400 | | | | "STUFF WITH A PUNCH" | | | | LAZY DAISY EDDIE | | WILDCAT RAG ALL ABOARD FOR SLEEPYTOWN | | | +============================================+

For a brief interval Volkovisk, Rekower, and Merech regarded Jassy'scard in silence. 

"Well, " Merech said at last, "what of it?"

Jassy shrugged and waved his hand significantly. 

"Nothing of it, " he said, "only your friend there is knocking popularmusic; and though I admit that I didn't got to go to the _Wiener_conservatory so as I could write popular music exactly, y'understand, still I could write sonatas and trios and quartets and even concerti andsymphonies till I am black in the face already and I couldn't pay mylaundry bill even. "

For answer Volkovisk turned to the piano and seized from the pile ofmusic a blue-covered volume. It was the violin sonata of RichardStrauss, and handing the violin part to Rekower he seated himself on thestool. Then with a premonitory nod to Rekower he struck the openingchords, and for more than ten minutes Jassy and Merech sat motionlessuntil the first movement was finished. 

"When Strauss wrote that he could _oser_ pay his laundry bill either, "Volkovisk said, rising from the stool. He sat down wearily at the tableand lit a cigarette. 

"So you see, " he began, "Richard Strauss----"

"Richard Strauss nothing!" cried an angry voice at his elbow. "If youwant to practise, practise at home. I pay you here to play for mycustomers, not for yourselves, Volkovisk; and once and for all I amtelling you you should cut out this nonsense and _spiel_ a little musiconce in a while. "

It was the proprietor, Marculescu, who spoke, and Volkovisk immediatelyseated himself at the piano. This time he took from the pile of musicthree small sheets, one of which he placed on the reading desk and theother on Rekower's violin stand. After handing the other sheet to the'cellist he plunged into a furious rendition of "Wildcat Rag. "

In the front part of the café a group of men and women, whose clothesand manners proclaimed them to be slummers from the upper West Side, broke into noisy applause as the vulgar composition came to an end, andin the midst of their shouting and stamping Jassy rose trembling fromhis seat. He slunk between tables to the door, while Volkovisk began arepetition of the number, and it was not until he had turned the cornerof the street and the melody had ceased to sound in his ears that heslackened his pace. When he did so, however, a friendly hand fell on hisshoulder and he turned to find Max Merech close behind him. 

"_Nu_, Mr. Jassy, " Max said, "you shouldn't be so broke up because youcouldn't write so good as Richard Strauss. "

Jassy stood still and looked Max squarely in the eye. 

"That's just the point, " he said in hollow tones. "Might I could if Itried; but I am such an _Epikouros_ that I don't want to try. I wouldsooner make money out of rubbish than be an artist like Volkovisk. "

Max shrugged and elevated his eyebrows. 

"A man must got to live, " he said as he seized Jassy's arm and begangently to propel him back to the Café Román. 

"Sure, I know, " Jassy said; "but living ain't all having good clothes towear and good food to eat. Living for an artist like Volkovisk iscomposing music worthy of an artist. _Aber_ what do I do, Mister----"

"Merech, " Max said. 

"What do I do, Mr. Merech?" Jassy continued. "I am all the time throwingaway my art in the streets with this rotten stuff I am composing. "

 * * * * *

"Well, I tell you, " Max said after they had reëntered the café and hadseated themselves at a table remote from the piano, "composing music islike manufacturing garments, Mr. Jassy. Some one must got to cater tothe popular-price trade and only a few manufacturers gets to the pointwhere they make up a highgrade line for the exclusive retailers. Ain'tit?"

Jassy nodded as the waiter brought the cups of coffee. 

"Now you take me, for instance, " Max continued. "Once I worked by B. Gans, which I assure you, Mr. Jassy, it was a pleasure to handle thegoods in that place. What an elegant line of silks and embroidery theygot it there! Believe me, Mr. Jassy, every day I went to work there likeI would be going to a wedding already, such a beautiful goods they madeit! _Aber_ now I am working by a popular-price concern, Mr. Jassy, which, you could take it from me, the colors them people puts togetherin one garment gives me the indigestion already!"

Again Jassy nodded sympathetically. 

"And why did I make a change?" Max went on. "Because them people paysme seven dollars a week more as B. Gans, Mr. Jassy; and though art isart, understand me, seven dollars a week ain't to be coughed atneither. "

For a few minutes Jassy sipped his coffee in silence. 

"That's all right, too, " he said; "but with garments you could make justso much money manufacturing a highgrade line as you could if you aremaking a popular-price line. "

Max nodded sapiently. 

"I give you right there, " he agreed, "and that's because themanufacturer of the highgrade line does business in the same way as thepopular-price concern. _Aber_ you take the composer of highgrade musicand all he does is compose. He's too proud to poosh it, Mr. Jassy;whereas the feller what composes popular music he's just the same likethe feller what manufacturers a popular-price line of garments--he notonly manufacturers his line but he pooshes it till he gets a market forit. "

"There ain't no market for a highclass line of music, " Jassy saidhopelessly. 

"Why ain't there?" Max demanded. "Did you ever try to market a symphony?Did Volkovisk ever try to get anybody with money interested in hisstuff? No, sirree, sir! All that feller does is to play it to a lot of_Schnorrers_ like me, which no matter how much we like his work wecouldn't help him none. Now you take your own case, for instance. Youtold us a few minutes ago you are writing some music for a new show. Now, if you wouldn't mind my asking, who is putting in the capital forthat show?"

"Well, " Jassy replied, "a feller called Benson is putting it in and partof the capital is from his own money and the rest he borrows. "

"Just like a new beginner would do in the garment business, " Maxcommented. "_Aber_ who does he borrow it from? A bank maybe--what?"

"Some he gets from a bank, " Jassy replied, "and the rest is he trying toraise elsewheres. To-night he tells me he is getting an introduction toa business man which he hopes to lend from him five _oder_ ten thousanddollars. "

"Five _oder_ ten thousand dollars!" Max cried. "_Shema beni. _ For fivethousand dollars Volkovisk could publish all the music he ever wrote andgive a whole lot of recitals in the bargain. One thousand dollars wouldbe enough even. "

"That I wouldn't deny at all, " Jassy rejoined. "_Aber_ who would youfind stands willing he should invest in Volkovisk's music a thousanddollars? Would he ever get back his thousand dollars even, let alone anyprofits?"

"It's a speculation, I admit, " Max commented; "but you take RichardStrauss, for instance, and if some feller would staked Strauss to athousand dollars capital when he needed it, understand me, not alone hewould got his money back but if we would say, for example, the thousanddollars represents a ten-per-cent interest in Strauss' business, to-dayyet the feller would be worth his fifty thousand dollars, becauseeverybody knows what a big success Strauss made. Actually the fellermust got orders at least six months ahead. Why for one song alone theypay him a couple thousand dollars!"

"Well, " Jassy asked, "if you feel there's such a future in it why don'tyou raise a thousand dollars and finance Volkovisk?"

Max laughed aloud. 

"Me--I couldn't raise nothing, " he said; "_aber_ you--you are feelingsore at yourself because you are writing popular stuff. Here's a chancefor you to square yourself with your art. Why don't you help Volkoviskout? All you got to do is to find out who is loaning this here Bensonthe ten thousand dollars and get him to stake Volkovisk to a thousand. "

Jassy tapped the table with his fingers. 

"For that matter I could say the same thing to you, " he declared. "Youconsider Volkovisk's talent so high as a business proposition, Merech, why don't you get some business man interested--one of your bosses, forinstance?"

He rose from his chair as he spoke and placed ten cents on the table ashis share of the evening's expenses. 

"Think it over, " he said; and long after he had closed the door behindhim Max sat still with his hands in his trousers pocket and pondered thesuggestion. 

"After all, " he mused as Marculescu began to turn out the lights one byone, "why shouldn't I--the very first thing in the morning?"

It was not, however, until Polatkin and Scheikowitz had gone out tolunch the following day, leaving Elkan alone in the office, that Maxcould bring his courage to the sticking point; and so fearful was hethat he might regret his boldness before it was too late, he fairly ranfrom the cutting room to the office and delivered his preparatoryremarks in the outdoor tones of a political spellbinder. 

"Mr. Lubliner, " he cried, "could I speak to you a few words something?"

Elkan rose and slammed the door. 

"Say, lookyhere, Merech, " he said, "if you want a raise don't let thewhole factory know about it, otherwise we would be pestered to deathhere. Remember, also, " he continued as he sat down again, "you are onlyworking for us a few weeks--and don't go so quick as all that. "

"What d'ye mean, a raise?" Max asked. "I ain't said nothing at all abouta raise. I am coming to see you about something entirely differentalready. "

Elkan looked ostentatiously at his watch. 

"I ain't got too much time, Merech, " he said. 

"Nobody's got too much time when it comes to fellers asking for raises, Mr. Lubliner, " Max retorted; "_aber_ this here is something else again, as I told you. "

"Well, don't beat no bushes round, Merech!" Elkan cried impatiently. "What is it you want from me?"

"I want from you this, " Max began huskily: "Might you know Tschaikovskymaybe _oder_ Rimsky-Korsakoff. "

"Tschaikovsky I never heard of, " Elkan replied, "nor the other concernneither. Must be new beginners in the garment business--ain't it?"

"They never was in the garment business, so far as I know, " Maxcontinued; "_aber_ they made big successes even if they wasn't, becauseall the money ain't in the garment business, Mr. Lubliner, andTschaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakoff, even in the old country, made so muchmoney they lived in palaces yet. Once when I was a boy already, Tschaikovsky comes to Minsk and they got up a parade for him--such a big_Macher_ he was!"

"I don't doubt your word for a minute, Merech; _aber_ what is all thisgot to do _mit_ me?"

"It ain't got nothing to do with you, Mr. Lubliner, " Max declared--"onlyI got a friend by the name Boris Volkovisk, and believe me or not, Mr. Lubliner, in some respects Tschaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakoff could learnfrom that feller, because, you could take it from me, Mr. Lubliner, there's some passages in the Fifth Symphony, understand me, which I hateto say it you could call rotten!"

Elkan stirred uneasily in his chair. 

"I don't know what you are talking about at all, " he said. 

"I am talking about this, " Max replied; and therewith he began toexplain to Elkan the aspirations and talent of Boris Volkovisk andhis--Max'--scheme for their successful development. For more than halfan hour he unfolded a plan by which one thousand dollars might bejudiciously expended so as to secure the maximum benefit to Volkovisk'scareer--a plan that during the preceding two years Volkovisk and he hadthoroughly discussed over many a cup of coffee in Marculescu's café. "And so you see, Mr. Lubliner, " he concluded, "it's a plain businessproposition; and if you was to take for your thousand dollars, say, forexample, a one-tenth interest in the business Volkovisk expects to do, understand me, you would get a big return for your investment. "

Elkan lit a cigar and puffed away reflectively before speaking. 

"_Nu_, " he said at last; "so that is what you wanted to talk to meabout?"

Max nodded. 

"Well, then, all I could say is, " Elkan went on, "you are coming to thewrong shop. A business proposition like that is for a banker, which heis got so much money he don't know what to do with it, Merech. "

Max' face fell and he turned disconsolately away. 

"At the same time, Max, " Elkan added, "I ain't feeling sore that youcome to me with the proposition, understand me. The trouble ain't withyou that you got such an idee, Max; the trouble is with me that Icouldn't see it. It's like a feller by the name Dalzell, a buyer forKammerman's store, says to me this morning. 'Lubliner, ' he says, 'Icouldn't afford to take no chances buying highgrade garments from afeller that is used to making a popular-price line, ' he says, 'becauseno matter how well equipped your factory would be the trouble is apopular-price manufacturer couldn't think big enough to turn outexpensive garments. To such a manufacturer goods at two dollars a yardis the limit, and goods at ten dollars a yard he couldn't imagine atall. And even if he could induce himself to use stuff at ten dollars ayard, y'understand, it goes against him to be liberal with suchhigh-priced goods, so he skimps the garment. '"

He blew a great cloud of smoke as a substitute for a sigh. 

"And Dalzell was right, Max, " he concluded. "You couldn't expect that agarment manufacturer like me is going to got such big idees as investinga thousand dollars in a highgrade scheme like yours. With me a thousanddollars means so many yards piece goods, so many sewing machines or aweek's payroll; _aber_ it don't mean giving a musician a show he shouldcompose highgrade music. I ain't educated up to it, Max; so I wish youluck that you should raise the money somewheres else. "

 * * * * *

When M. Sidney Benson entered his office in the Siddons Theatre Buildinglate that afternoon he found Jassy seated at his desk in the mournfulcontemplation of some music manuscript. 

"_Nu_, Milton, " Benson cried, "you shouldn't look so _rachmonos_. Isurely think I got 'em coming!"

"You think you got 'em coming!" Jassy repeated with bitter emphasis. "You said that a dozen times already--and always the feller wasn't sobig a sucker like he looked!"

"That was because I didn't work it right, " Benson replied. "This time Iam making out to do the feller a favour by letting him in on the show, and right away he becomes interested. His name is Elkan Lubliner, amanufacturer by cloaks and suits, and to-night he is coming down withhis wife yet, and you are going to take 'em round to the 'Diners Out. '"

"I am going to the 'Diners Out' _mit_ 'em?" Milton ejaculated with everyinflection of horror and disgust. 

"Sure!" Benson replied cheerfully. "Six dollars it'll cost us, becauseRyan pretty near laughs in my face when I asked him for three seats. Butnever mind, Milton, it'll be worth the money. "

"Will it?" Jassy retorted. "Well, not for me, Mr. Benson. Why, the lasttime I seen that show I says I wouldn't sit through it again for ahundred dollars. "

"A hundred dollars is a lot of money, Milton, " Benson said. "_Aber_ Ithink if you work it right you will get a hundred times a hundreddollars before we are through, on account I really got this fellergoing. So you should listen to me and I would tell you just what youwant to say to the feller between the acts. "

Therewith Benson commenced to unfold a series of "talking points" whichhe had spent the entire day in formulating; and, as he proceeded, Jassy's eyes wandered from the title page of the manuscript musicinscribed "Opus 47--Trio in G moll, " and began to glow in sympathy withBenson's well-laid plan. 

"There's no use shilly-shallying, Milton, " Benson concluded. "The seasonis getting late, and if we're ever going to put on that show now is thetime. "

Milton nodded eagerly. 

"_Aber_ why don't you take 'em to the show yourself, Mr. Benson?" heasked hopefully. "Because, not to jolly you at all, Mr. Benson, I mustgot to say it you are a wonderful talker. "

Benson shrugged his shoulders and smiled weakly. 

"I am a wonderful talker, I admit, " he agreed; "but I got a hard face, Milton, whereas you, anyhow, look honest. So you should meet me atHanley's afterward, understand me, and we would try to close the dealthere and then. "

He dug his hand into his trousers pocket and produced a modest roll ofbills, from which he detached six dollars. 

"Here is the money, " he added, "and you should be here to meet thempeople at eight o'clock sharp. "

On the stroke of eight Milton Jassy returned to Benson's office in theSiddons Theatre Building and again seated himself at his desk in frontof the pile of manuscript music. This time, however, he brushed asidethe title page of his Opus 47 and spread out an evening paper to beguilethe tedium of awaiting Benson's "prospects. " Automatically he turned tothe department headed Music and Musicians, and at the top of the columnhis eye fell on the following item:

 Ferencz Lánczhid, the Budapest virtuoso, will be the soloist at the concert this evening of the Philharmonic Society. He will play the Tschaikovsky Violin Concerto, Opus 35, and the remainder of the program will consist of Dvorák's Symphony, _Aus der Neuen Welt_, and the ever-popular Meistersinger Overture. 

Jassy heaved a tremulous sigh as he concluded the paragraph andleaned back in his chair, while in his ears sounded the adagio passagethat introduces the first movement of the "New World Symphony. "Simultaneously the occupant of the next office slammed down his rolltopdesk and began to whistle a lively popular melody. It was "Wildcat Rag, "and Milton struck the outspread newspaper with his clenched fist. Thenrising to his feet he gathered together the loose pages of his "Opus 47"and placed them tenderly in a leather case just as the door opened andElkan and Yetta entered. 

"I hope we ain't late, " Elkan said. 

"Not at all, " Milton replied. "This is Mr. And Mrs. Lubliner--ain't it?"

As he drew forward a chair for Yetta he saluted his visitors with aslight, graceful bow, a survival of his conservatory days. 

"Sit down, " he said; "we got lots and lots of time. "

"I thought the show started at a quarter-past eight--ain't it?" Elkanasked. 

"It does and it doesn't, " Milton replied hesitatingly; "that is to say, some shows start at a quarter-past eight and others not till half-pasteight. "

"But I mean this here 'Diners Out' starts at a quarter-past eight--ain'tit?" Elkan insisted. 

"'The Diners Out!'" Milton exclaimed as though he heard the name for thefirst time. "Oh, sure, the 'Diners Out' starts at a quarter-past eight, and that's just what I wanted to talk to you about. "

He turned to Yetta with an engaging smile which, with his black hair andhis dark, melancholy eyes, completely won over that far fromunimpressionable lady. 

"Now, Mrs. Lubliner, " he began, "your husband is a business man--ain'tit? And if some one comes to him and says, 'Mr. Lubliner, I got here twogarments for the same price--say, for example, two dollars. One of 'emis made of cheap material, _aber_ plenty of it _mit_ cheap embroidery onit, understand me; while the other is from finest silk a garment--notmuch of it, y'understand, but plain and beautiful. '"

"What for a garment could you got for two dollars?" Elkanasked--"especially a silk garment?"

"He's only saying for example, Elkan, " Yetta interrupted. 

"Garments I am only using, so to speak, " Milton explained. "What Ireally mean is: You got your choice to go to a popular show like the'Diners Out' or to a really highgrade show, Mr. Lubliner. So I leave itto you, Mr. Lubliner. Which shall it be?"

Once again he smiled at Yetta. 

"Why, to the highgrade show, sure, " Yetta replied, and she seized herhusband by the arm. "Come along, Elkan!" she cried; and after Miltonhad secured the leather portfolio containing his "Opus 47" theyproceeded immediately to the elevator. 

"We could walk over there from here, " Milton said when they reached thesidewalk, and he led the way across town toward Carnegie Hall. 

"What for a show is this we are going to see?" Elkan asked. "Also amusical show?"

Milton nodded. 

"The best musical show there is, " he declared. "Do you like maybe tohear good music?"

"I'm crazy about it, " Yetta replied. 

"Symphonies, concerti and such things?" Milton inquired. 

"Symphonies?" Elkan repeated. "What is symphonies?"

"I couldn't explain it to you, " Milton said, "because we ain't got time;_aber_ you would see for yourself. Only one thing I must tell you, Mr. Lubliner--when the orchestra plays you shouldn't speak nothing--Mrs. Lubliner neither. "

"I wouldn't open my mouth at all, " Elkan assured him solemnly; and a fewminutes later Milton seated himself in the last row of the parterre atCarnegie Hall, with Elkan and Yetta--one each side of him. 

"So you ain't never been to a symphony concert before?" Milton began, leaning toward Elkan; and, as the latter shook his head, a short, stoutperson in the adjoining seat raised his eyebrows involuntarily. "Well, you got a big pleasure in store for you, " Milton went on; "and anotherthing I must got to tell you: Might you would hear some pretty jumpymusic which you would want to keep time to _mit_ your foot. Don't you doit!"

Elkan's neighbour concealed a smile with one hand, and then, he, too, turned to Elkan, who had received Milton's warning with a sulky frown. 

"You're friend is right, " he said. "People always have to be told thatthe first time they go to a symphony concert; and the next time they gothey not only see the wisdom of such advice, but they want to get up andlick the man that does beat time with his foot. "

He accompanied his remark with so gracious a smile that Elkan's frownimmediately relaxed. 

"A new beginner couldn't get too much advice, " he said, and hisneighbour leaned farther forward and addressed Milton. 

"You've chosen a fine program to introduce your friend to good musicwith, " he said; and therewith began a lively conversation that lasteduntil a round of applause signalized the appearance of the conductor. The next moment he raised his baton and the celli began to sigh themournful phrase which ushers in the symphony. Milton leaned backluxuriously as the woodwind commenced the next phrase; and then, whilethe introduction ended with a sweeping crescendo and the tempo suddenlyincreased, Elkan sat up and his eyes became fixed on the trombone andtrumpet players. 

He maintained this attitude throughout the entire first movement, and itwas not until the conductor's arm fell motionless at his side that hesettled back in his seat. 

"Well, " Milton asked, "what do you think of it?"

"A-Number-One!" Elkan answered hoarsely. "It would suit me just so wellif it would last the whole evening and we wouldn't have no singing anddancing at all. "

"What do you mean--no singing and dancing!" Milton exclaimed. 

"Sure!" Elkan continued. "I wish them fellers would play the wholeevening. "

The conductor tapped his desk with his baton. 

"Don't worry, " Milton commented as he settled himself for the nextmovement. "You'll get your wish all right. "

Elkan looked inquiringly at his mentor, but Milton only placed hisforefinger to his lips; and thereafter, until the conclusion of thesymphony, the pauses between the movements of the symphony were so briefthat Elkan had no opportunity to make further inquiries. 

"Well, neighbour, " asked the gentleman on his right, as the musiciansfiled off the stage for the ten-minutes' intermission, "what do youthink of your first symphony?"

Elkan smiled and concealed his shyness by clearing his throat. 

"The symphony is all right, " he said; "but, with all them operatorsthere, what is the use they are trying to save money hiring only oneforeman?"

"One foreman?" his neighbour cried. 

"Sure--the feller with the stick, " Elkan went on blandly. "Naturally hecouldn't keep his eye on all them people at oncet--ain't it? I amwatching them fellers, which they are working them big brass machines, for the last half hour, and except for five or ten minutes they sitthere doing absolutely nothing--just fooling away their time. "

"Them fellers ain't fooling away their time, " Milton said gravely. "Theyain't got nothing to do only at intervals. "

"Then I guess they must pay 'em by piecework--ain't it?" Elkan asked. 

"They pay 'em so much a night, " Milton explained. 

"Well, in that case, Mr. Jassy, " Elkan continued, "all I could say is ifI would got working in my place half a dozen fellers which I am payingby the day, understand me, and the foreman couldn't keep 'em busy onlyhalf the time, _verstehst du_, he would quick look for another job. "

Elkan's neighbour on the right had been growing steadily more crimson, and at last he hurriedly seized his hat and passed out into the aisle. 

"That's a pretty friendly feller, " Elkan said as he gazed after him. "Doyou happen to know his name?"

"I ain't never heard his name, " Milton replied; "but he is seeminglycrazy about music. I seen him here every time I come. "

"Well, I don't blame him none, " Elkan commented; "because you take theHarlem Winter Garden, for instance, and though the music is rotten, understand me, they got the nerve to charge you yet for a lot of foodwhich half the time you don't want at all; whereas here they didn't evenask us we should buy so much as a glass beer. "

At this juncture the short, stout person returned and proceeded toentertain Elkan and Yetta by pointing out among the audience the figuresof local and international millionaires. 

"And all them fellers is crazy about music too?" Elkan asked. 

"So crazy, " his neighbour said, "that the little man over there, withthe white beard, spends almost twenty thousand a year on it!"

"And yet, " Milton said bitterly, "there's plenty fellers in the citywhich year in and year out composes chamber music and symphonic musicwhich they couldn't themselves make ten dollars a week; and, when itcomes right down to it, none of them millionaires would loosen up tosuch new beginners for even five hundred dollars to help them get ahearing. "

The short person received Milton's outburst with a faint smile. 

"I've heard that before, " he commented, "but I never had the pleasure ofmeeting any of those great unknown composers. "

"That's because most of 'em is so bashful they ain't got sense enough topush themselves forward, " Milton replied; "_aber_ if you really want tomeet one I could take you to-night yet to a café on Delancey Streetwhere there is playing a trio which the pianist is something you couldreally call a genius. "

"You don't tell me!" Elkan's neighbour cried. "Why, I should bedelighted to go with you. "

"How about it, Mr. Lubliner?" Milton asked. "Are you and Mrs. Lublineragreeable to go downtown after the show to the café on Delancey Street?It's a pretty poor neighbourhood already. "

Yetta smiled. 

"Sure, I know, " she said; "but it wouldn't be the first time me andElkan was in Delancey Street. "

"Then it's agreed that we're all going to hear the genius, " Elkan'sneighbour added. "I heard you call one another Jassy and Lubliner--it'shardly fair you shouldn't know my name too. "

He felt in his waistcoat pocket and finally handed a visiting card toElkan, who glanced at it hurriedly and with trembling fingers passed iton to his wife, for it was inscribed in old English type as follows:

 +==============================+ | | | =Mr. Joseph Kammerman= | | | | =Fostoria Hotel= | | | | =New York= | | | +==============================+

"Once and for all, I am telling you, Volkovisk, either you would got toplay music here or quit!" Marculescu cried at eleven o'clock thatevening. "The customers is all the time kicking at the stuff you giveus. "

"What d'ye mean, stuff?" Max Merech protested. "That was no stuff, Mr. Marculescu. That was from Brahms a trio, and it suits me down to theground. "

"Suits you!" Marculescu exclaimed. "Who in blazes are you?"

"I am _auch_ a customer, Mr. Marculescu, " Max replied with dignity. 

"_Yow_, a customer!" Marculescu jeered. "You sit here all night onone cup coffee. A customer, _sagt er_! A loafer--that's what you are!It ain't you I am making my money from, Merech--it's from them_Takeefim_[A] uptown; and they want to hear music, not Brahms. So youhear what I am telling you, Volkovisk! You should play somethinggood--like 'Wildcat Rag'. "

[Footnote A: _Takeefim_--Aristocracy. ]

"Wait a minute, Mr. Marculescu, " Max interrupted. "Do you mean to toldme them lowlife bums in front there, which makes all that _Geschrei_over 'Dixerlie' and such like _Narrischkeit_, is _Takeefim_ yet?"

"I don't want to listen to you at all, Merech!" Marculescu shouted. 

"I don't care if you want to listen to me _oder_ not, " Merech said. "Iwas a customer here when you got one little store _mit_ two waiters; andit was me and all the other fellers you are calling loafers now whatgive you, with our few pennies, your first start. Now you are too goodfor us with your uptown _Takeefim_. Why, them same _Takeefim_ only comeshere, in the first place, because they want to see what it looks like inone of the East Side cafés, where they got such good music and suchinteresting characters, which sits and drinks coffee and plays chess_und Tarrok_. "

He glared at the enraged Marculescu and waved his hands excitedly. 

"What you call loafers they call interesting characters, Mr. Marculescu, " he continued, "and what you call stuff they call goodmusic--and that's the way it goes, Mr. Marculescu. You are a goose whichis killing its own golden eggs!"

"So!" Marculescu roared. "I am a goose, am I? You loafer, you! Out ofhere before I kick you out!"

"You wouldn't kick nothing, " Max rejoined, "because I am happy to go outfrom here! Where all the time is being played such _Machshovos_ like'Wildcat Rag, ' I don't want to stay at all. "

He rose from his chair and flung ten cents on to the table. 

"And furthermore, " he cried by way of peroration, "people don't got tocome five miles down to Delancey Street to hear 'Wildcat Rag, ' Mr. Marculescu; so, if you keep on playing it, Mr. Marculescu, you willquick find that it's an elegant tune to bust up to--and that's all I gotto say!"

As he walked away, Marculescu made a sign to his pianist. 

"Go ahead, Volkovisk--play 'Wildcat Rag!'" he said. Then he followed Maxto the front of the café; and before they reached the front tables, atwhich sat the slummers from uptown, Volkovisk began to pound out thehackneyed melody. 

"That's what I think of your arguments, Merech!" Marculescu said, walking behind the cashier's desk. 

Max paused to crush him with a final retort; but even as he began todeliver it his tongue clove to the roof of his mouth, for at thatinstant the door opened and there entered a party of four, with ElkanLubliner in the van. A moment later, however, Milton Jassy pushed hisguests to one side and strode angrily toward Marculescu. 

"_Koosh!_" he bellowed and stamped his foot on the floor, whereat themusic ceased and even the uptown revellers were startled into silence. Only Marculescu remained unabashed. 

"Say, " he shouted as he rushed from behind his desk, "what do you thinkthis joint is?--a joint!"

"I think what I please, Marculescu, " Milton said, "and you should tellVolkovisk to play something decent. Also you should bring us two quartsfrom the best Tchampanyer wine--from French wine Tchampanyer, not_Amerikanischer_. "

He waved his hand impatiently and three waiters--half of Marculescu'sentire staff--came on the jump; so that, a moment later, Jassy and hisguests were divested of their wraps and seated at one of the largesttables facing the piano. It was not until then that Milton descried MaxMerech hovering round the door. 

"Merech!" he called. "_Kommen sie 'r über!_"

Max shook his head shyly and half-opened the door, but Elkan forestalledhim. He fairly bounded from the table and caught his assistant cutter bythe arm just as he was disappearing on to the sidewalk. 

"Max, " he said, "what's the matter with you? Ain't you coming in to meetmy wife?"

Max shrugged in embarrassment. 

"You don't want me to butt into your party, Mr. Lubliner!" he said. 

"Listen, Max, " Elkan almost pleaded; "not only do I want you to, but youwould be doing me a big favour if you would come in and join us. Also, Max, I am going to introduce you as our designer. You ain't got noobjections?"

"Not at all, " Max replied, and he followed his employer into the café. 

"Yetta, " Elkan began, "I think you seen Mr. Merech before--ain't it?"

Mrs. Lubliner smiled and extended her hand. 

"How do you do, Mr. Merech?" she said; and Max bowed awkwardly. 

"Mr. Kammerman, " Elkan continued, "this is our designer, Max Merech; andI could assure you, Mr. Kammerman, a very good one too. He's got a greateye for colour. "

"And a good ear for music, " Milton added as Kammerman shook the blushingdilettante by the hand. 

"In fact, Mr. Kammerman, if he has got such taste in designing as he isshowing in music, " Milton went on, "he must be a wonder! Nothing suitshim but the best. And now, if you will excuse me, I'll get Volkovisk heshould play you his sonata. "

He left the table with his leather portfolio under his arm, and for morethan five minutes he held an earnest consultation with Volkovisk andthe cellist, after which he returned smiling to his seat. 

"First Volkovisk plays his sonata, 'Opus 30, '" he explained, "and thenhe would do a little thing of my own. "

He nodded briskly to Volkovisk, and Kammerman settled himself resignedlyto a hearing of what he anticipated would be a commonplace piece ofmusic. After the first six measures, however, he sat up straight in hischair and his face took on an expression of wonder and delight. Then, resting his elbow on the table, he nursed his cheek throughout the firstmovement in a posture of earnest attention. 

"Why, " he cried as the musician paused, "this man is a genius!"

Max Merech nodded. His face was flushed and his eyes were filled withtears. 

"What did I told you, Mr. Lubliner?" he said; and Jassy raised his handfor silence while Volkovisk began the second movement. This and thesucceeding movements fully sustained the promise of the earlier portionsof the composition; and when at length Volkovisk rose from the pianostool and approached the table Kammerman jumped from his chair and wrungthe composer's hand. 

"Sit in my chair, " he insisted, and snapped his fingers at Marculescu, who fumed impotently behind the cashier's desk. 

"Here, " he called; "more wine--and look sharp about it!"

Marculescu obeyed sulkily and again the glasses were filled. 

"Gentlemen, " Kammerman said, "and Mrs. Lubliner, I ask you to drink to agreat career just beginning. "

"Lots of people said that before, " Max murmured after he had emptied hisglass. 

"They said it, " Kammerman replied, "but I pledge it. You shall play nomore in this place, Volkovisk--and here is my hand on it. "

Max Merech beamed across the table at his employer. 

"Well, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "you lost your chance. "

Elkan shrugged and smiled. 

"Might you could find another of them genius fellers for me maybe, Max?"he said. 

And therewith Kammerman slapped Milton Jassy on the back. 

"By Jove! We forgot your trio, " he said. "Play it, Volkovisk, as yourvaledictory here. "

Again Volkovisk sought the piano, and after whispered instructions tohis assistants he began a rendition of Jassy's "Opus 47, " from themanuscript Milton had brought with him; but, allowing for the faultytechnic of the 'cellist and the uncertainty that attends the firstreading from manuscript of any composition, there was little torecommend Jassy's work. 

"Very creditable!" Kammerman said at the end of the movement. "Perhapswe might hear the rest. "

Max kept his eyes fixed on the table to avoid looking at Jassy, and evenVolkovisk seemed embarrassed as he swung round on the piano stool. 

"Well?" he said inquiringly. 

Jassy emitted a bitter laugh. 

"That'll do, Volkovisk, " he replied hoarsely. "I guess it needsrehearsing. "

At this point Max attempted to create a diversion. 

"Look at that lady sitting there!" he said. "She puts on a yellow hat toan old-gold dress. She's committing murder and she don't know it!"

Kammerman seized on the incident as a way of escape from criticisingJassy's trio. 

"That reminds me, Lubliner, " he said. "Give me your business card if youhave one with you. I must tell Mr. Dalzell, my cloak buyer, to look overyour line. I'm sure, with a designer of Mr. Merech's artistic instinctsworking for you, you will be making up just the highgrade line of goodswe need. "

 * * * * *

One year later, the usual crowd of first-nighters lounged in the lobbyof the Siddons Theatre during the intermission between the second andthird acts of M. Sidney Benson's newest musical comedy, "Marjory fromMarguery's, " and commented with enthusiasm on the song hit of theshow--"My Blériot Maid. " A number of the more gifted even whistled themelody, skipping the hard part and proceeding by impromptu andconventional modulation to the refrain, which had been expresslydesigned by its composer, Milton Jassy, so as to present no technicaldifficulties to the most modest whistler. 

Through this begemmed and piping throng, Kammerman and Volkovisk elbowedtheir way to the street for a breath of fresh air; and as they reachedthe sidewalk Kammerman heaved a sigh of relief. 

"What a terrible melody!" he ejaculated. 

"But the plot ain't bad, " Volkovisk suggested, and Kammerman grinnedinvoluntarily. 

"To be exact, the two plots aren't bad, " he said. "It's made up of twoold farces. One of them is '_Embrassons nous, Duval_, ' and the other'_Un Garçon, de chez Gaillard_. '"

"But the costumes are really something which you could call beautiful!"Volkovisk declared. 

"Merech approved the costumes too, " Kammerman agreed with a laugh. "Heleft after the first act; and he said that if you endured it to the endyou were to be sure to tell Jassy the colorings were splendid!" He lit acigarette reflectively. "That man is a regular shark for coloring!" hesaid. "It seems that when I first met him that night he was only anassistant cutter; but Elkan Lubliner made him designer very shortlyafterward--and it has proved a fine thing for both of them. I understandwe bought fifteen thousand dollars' worth of goods from them during thepast year!"

"He deserved all the good luck that came to him, " Volkovisk cried; andKammerman placed his hand affectionately on his protégé's shoulder. 

"There's a special Providence that looks after artists, " he said as theyreëntered the theatre, "whether they paint, write, compose, or designgarments. "

CHAPTER FIVE

ONE OF ESAU'S FABLES

THE MOUSE SCRATCHES THE LION'S BACK; THE LION SCRATCHES THE MOUSE'S BACK

"No, Elkan, " said Louis Stout, of Flugel & Stout. "When you are comingto compare Johnsonhurst _mit_ Burgess Park it's already a molehill to amountain. "

"Burgess Park ain't such high ground neither, " Elkan Lubliner retorted. "Max Kovner says he lives out there on Linden Boulevard three monthsonly and he gets full up with malaria something terrible. "

"Malaria we ain't got it in Burgess Park!" Louis declared. "I am livingthere now six years, Elkan, and I never bought so much as a two-grainquinine pill. Furthermore, Elkan, Kovner's malaria you could catch inDenver, Colorado, or on an ocean steamer, y'understand; because, with alowlife bum like Max Kovner, which he sits up till all hours of thenight--a drinker and a gambler, understand me--you don't got to be aprofessor exactly to diagonize his trouble. It ain't malaria, Elkan, it's _Katzenjammer!_"

"But my Yetta is stuck on Johnsonhurst, " Elkan protested, "and shealready makes up her mind we would move out there. "

"That was just the way with my wife, " Louis said. "For six months she iscrying all the time Ogden Estates; and if I would listen to her, Elkan, and bought out there, y'understand, instead we would be turning downoffers on our house at an advance of twenty per cent. On the price wepaid for it, we would be considering letting the property go underforeclosure! You ought to see that place Ogden Estates nowadays, Elkan--nothing but a bunch of Italieners lives there. "

"But----" Elkan began. 

"Another thing, " Louis Stout broke in: "Out in Johnsonhurst what kind ofsociety do you got? Moe Rabiner lives there, and Marks Pasinsky livesthere--and _Gott weiss wer noch_. My partner, Mr. Flugel, is approachedthe other day with an offer of some property in Johnsonhurst, and I wasreally in favour he should take it up; but he says to me, 'Louis, ' hesays, 'a place where such people lives like Pasinsky and Rabiner Iwouldn't touch at all!' And he was right, Elkan. Salesmen and designersonly lives in Johnsonhurst; while out in Burgess Park we got a niceclass of people living, Elkan. You know J. Kamin, of the Lee Printemps, Pittsburgh?"

"Used to was one of our best customers, " Philip Scheikowitz replied, "though he passed us up last year. "

"His sister, Mrs. Benno Ortelsburg, lives one house by the other withme, " Louis went on. "Her husband does a big real-estate business there. Might you also know Julius Tarnowitz, of the Tarnowitz-Wixman DepartmentStore, Rochester?"

"Bought from us a couple years a small bill, " Marcus Polatkin said. "Iwish we could sell him more. "

"Well, his brother, Sig Tarnowitz, lives across the street from us, "Louis cried triumphantly. "Sig's got a fine business there on FifthAvenue, Brooklyn. "

"What for a business?"

"A furniture business, " Louis replied. "And might you would know alsoJoel Ribnik, which he is running the McKinnon-Weldon Drygoods Company, of Cyprus, Pennsylvania?"

"That's the feller what you nearly sold that big bill to last month, Elkan, " Scheikowitz commented. 

"Well, his sister is married to a feller by the name Robitscher, ofRobitscher, Smith & Company, the wallpaper house and interiordecorators. They got an elegant place down the street from us. "

"But----" Elkan began again. 

"But nothing, Elkan!" Marcus Polatkin interrupted with a ferocious wink;for Louis Stout, as junior partner in the thriving Williamsburg storeof Flugel & Stout, was viewing Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's linepreparatory to buying his spring line of dresses. "But nothing, Elkan!Mr. Stout knows what he is talking about, Elkan; and if I would be you, instead I would argue with him, understand me, I would take Yetta out toBurgess Park on Sunday and give the place a look. "

"That's the idea!" Louis cried. "And you should come and take dinnerwith us first. Mrs. Stout would be delighted. "

"What time do you eat dinner?" Philip Scheikowitz asked, frowningsignificantly at Elkan. 

"Two o'clock, " Louis replied, and Polatkin and Scheikowitz nodded inunison. 

"He'll be there, " Polatkin declared. 

"At a quarter before two, " Scheikowitz added and Elkan smiledmechanically by way of assent. 

"So come along, Mr. Stout, " Polatkin said, "and look at them EthelBarrymore dresses. I think you'll like 'em. "

He led Stout from the office as he spoke while Scheikowitz remainedbehind with Elkan. 

"Honest, Elkan, " he said, "I'm surprised to see the way you are actingwith Louis Stout!"

"What do you mean, the way I'm acting, Mr. Scheikowitz?" Elkanprotested. "Do you think I am going to buy a house in a neighbourhoodwhich I don't want to live in at all just to oblige a customer?"

"_Schmooes_, Elkan!" Scheikowitz exclaimed. "No one asks you you shouldbuy a house there. Be a little reasonable, Elkan. What harm would it doyou, supposing you and Yetta should go out to Burgess Park next Sunday?Because you know the way Louis Stout is, Elkan. He will look over ourline for two weeks yet before he decides on his order--and meantime weshouldn't entegonize him. "

"I don't want to antagonize him, " Elkan said; "but me and Yetta made ourarrangements to go out to Johnsonhurst next Sunday. "

"Go out there the Sunday after, " cried Scheikowitz. "Johnsonhurst wouldstill be on the map, Elkan. It ain't going to run away exactly. "

Thus persuaded, Elkan and Yetta on the following Sunday elbowed theirway through the crowd at the entrance of the Brooklyn Bridge, and aftera delay of several minutes boarded a train for Burgess Park. 

"Well, all I can say is, " Yetta gasped, after they had seized on theonly vacant seats in the car, "if it's this way on Sunday what would itbe on weekdays?"

"There must have been a block, " Elkan said meekly. Only by the exerciseof the utmost marital diplomacy had he induced his wife to make thevisit to Louis Stout's home, and one of his most telling arguments hadbeen the advantage of the elevated railroad journey to Burgess Parkover the subway ride to Johnsonhurst. 

"Furthermore, " Yetta insisted, referring to another of Elkan's plausiblereasons for visiting Burgess Park, "I suppose all these Italieners and_Bétzimmers_ are customers of yours which we was going to run across onour way down there. Ain't it?"

Elkan blushed guiltily as he looked about him at the carload ofholiday-makers; but a moment later he exclaimed aloud as he recognizedin a seat across the aisle no less a person than Joseph Kamin, of LePrintemps, Pittsburgh. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Kamin?" he said. 

"Not Elkan Lubliner, from Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company?" Mr. Kaminexclaimed. "Well, who would think to meet you here!"

He rose from his seat, whereat a bulky Italian immediately sank into it;and as livery of seizin he appropriated the comic section of Mr. Kamin'sSunday paper, which had fallen to the floor of the car, and spread itwide open in front of him. 

"Now you lost your seat, " Elkan said; "so you should take mine. "

He jumped to his feet and Kamin sat down in his place, while aNeapolitan who hung on an adjacent strap viciously scowled hisdisappointment. 

"You ain't acquainted with Mrs. Lubliner?" Elkan said. 

"Pleased to meetcher, " Kamin murmured. 

Yetta bowed stiffly and Elkan hastened to make conversation by way ofrelieving Mr. Kamin's embarrassment. 

"Looks like an early spring the way people is going to the country insuch crowds, " he said. 

"I bet yer, " Kamin rejoined emphatically. "I arrived in New York twoweeks ahead of my schedule, because I simply got to do my buying now orlose a lot of early spring trade. "

"Have you been in town long?" Elkan asked. 

"Only this morning, " Kamin answered; "and I am going down to eat dinnerwith my sister, Mrs. Ortelsburg. She lives in Burgess Park. "

"Is that so?" Elkan exclaimed. "We ourselves are going to BurgessPark--to visit a friend. "

"A customer, " Yetta corrected. 

"A customer could also be a friend, " Kamin declared, "especially if he'sa good customer. "

"This is a very good customer, " Elkan went on, "by the name LouisStout. "

"Louis Stout, from Flugel & Stout?" Kamin cried. "Why, him and BennoOrtelsburg is like brothers already! Well, then, I'll probably see youdown in Burgess Park this afternoon, on account every Sunday afternoonLouis plays pinocle at my brother-in-law's house. Why don't he fetch youround to take a hand?"

"I should be delighted, " Elkan said; but Yetta sniffed audibly. 

"I guess we would be going home right after dinner, before the crowdstarts back, " she said. 

"Not on a fine day like this you wouldn't, " Kamin protested; "becauseonce you get out to Burgess Park you ain't in such a hurry to come back. I wish we would got such a place near Pittsburgh, Mrs. Lubliner. I betyer I would quick move out there. The smoke gets worser and worser inPittsburgh; in fact, it's so nowadays we couldn't sell a garment inpastel shades. "

"Well, we got plenty blacks, navy blues, Copenhagen blues and brown inour spring line, Mr. Kamin, " Elkan said; and therewith he commenced sographically to catalogue Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's new stockthat, by the time the train drew into Burgess Park, Kamin was makingfigures on the back of an envelope in an effort to convince Elkan thathis prices were all wrong. 

"But, anyhow, " Kamin said, as they parted in front of the Ortelsburgs'colonial residence, "I will see you in the store to-morrow morningsure. "

"You'll see me before then, because me and Yetta is coming round thisafternoon sure--ain't we, Yetta?"

Mrs. Lubliner nodded, for her good humour had been restored by Elkan'ssplendid exhibition of salesmanship. 

"This afternoon is something else again, " Kamin said, "because a fellerwhich tries to mix pinocle with business is apt to overplay his hand inboth games. "

 * * * * *

"No, Joe; you're wrong, " Benno Ortelsburg said to his brother-in-law, Joseph Kamin, as they sipped their after-dinner coffee in the Ortelsburglibrary that day. "It wouldn't be taking advantage of the feller at all. You say yourself he tries to sell goods to you on the car already. Whyshouldn't we try to sell Glaubmann's house to him while he's down here?And we'll split the commission half and half. "

Kamin hesitated before replying. 

"In business, Joe--it's Esau's fable of the lion and the mouse everytime!" Ortelsburg continued. "The mouse scratches the lion's back andthe lion scratches the mouse's back! Ain't it?"

"But you know so well as I do, Benno, that Glaubmann's house on LindenBoulevard ain't worth no eighteen thousand dollars, " Kamin said. 

"Why ain't it?" Benno retorted. "Glaubmann's Linden Boulevard house isprecisely the same house as this, built from the same plans andeverything--and this house costs me thirteen thousand five hundreddollars. Suburban real estate is worth just so much as you can get somesucker to pay for it, Joe. So I guess I better get the cards and chipsready, because I see Glaubmann coming up the street now. "

A moment later Glaubmann entered the library and greeted Kaminuproariously. 

"Hello, Joe!" he cried. "How's the drygoods business in Pittsburgh?"

"Not so good as the real-estate business in Burgess Park, Barney, " Kaminreplied. "They tell me you are selling houses hand over fist. "

"_Yow_--hand over fist!" Barnett cried. "If I carry a house six monthsand sell it at a couple thousand dollars' profit, what is it?"

"I got to get rid of a whole lot of garments to make a couple thousanddollars, Barney, " Kamin said; "and, anyhow, if you sell a house foreighteen thousand dollars which it cost you thirteen-five you would bemaking a little more as four thousand dollars. "

"Sure I would, " Glaubmann replied; "_aber_ the people which buysgreen-goods and gold bricks ain't investing in eighteen-thousand-dollarpropositions! Such yokels you could only interest in hundred-dollar lotsbetween high and low water on some of them Jersey sandbars. "

"There is all kinds of come-ons, Barney, " Joe said, "and the biggestone, understand me, is the business man who is willing to be played fora sucker, so as he can hold his customers' trade. "

"You got the proper real-estate spirit, Joe, " Benno declared, as hereturned with the cards and chips. "You don't allow the ground to growunder your feet. Just at present, though, we are going to spiel alittle pinocle and we would talk business afterward. "

"Real estate ain't business, " Kamin retorted. "It's a game like pinocle;and I got a little Jack of Diamonds and Queen of Spades coming roundhere in a few minutes which I would like to meld. "

"Now you are talking poetry, " Barnett said. 

"Take it from me, Barney, " Benno Ortelsburg interrupted, "this ain't nopoetry. It's a fact; and if you could see your way clear to pay athousand dollars' commission, y'understand, me and Joe is got a customerfor your Linden Boulevard house at eighteen thousand dollars. "

"Jokes you are making me!" Barnett cried. "You shouldn't drink so muchschnapps after dinner, Benno, because I could as much get eighteenthousand for that Linden Boulevard house as I would pay you a thousanddollars commission if I got it. "

"You ain't paying me the thousand dollars, " Benno protested. "Don't yousuppose Joe's got a look-in-here?"

"And furthermore, " Joe said, "you also got Louis Stout to consider. Ifyou think Louis Stout is going to sit by and see a commission walk pasthim, Benno, you are making a big mistake. "

"I'm willing we should give Louis a hundred or so, " Benno agreed. "Wegot to remember Louis is a customer of his also. "

"A customer of who's?" Barnett asked, as the doorbell rang. 

"_Stiegen!_" Benno hissed; and a moment later he ushered Elkan and Yettainto the library, while Mr. Stout brought up the rear. 

Benno cleared his throat preparatory to introducing the newcomers, butLouis Stout brushed hastily past him. 

"Mr. Glaubmann, " Louis said, "this is my friend, Elkan Lubliner. "

"And you forget Mrs. Lubliner, " cried Mrs. Ortelsburg, who had hurrieddownstairs at the sound of voices in the hall. "I'm Mrs. Ortelsburg, "she continued, turning to Yetta. "Won't you come upstairs and take yourthings off?"

"Elkan, " Louis Stout continued, "you better go along with her. I wantyou to see what an elegant lot of clothes-closets they got upstairs. Youknow most houses is designed by archytecks which all they are trying todo is to save money for the builder. _Aber_ this archyteck was anexception. The way he figures it he tries to build the house to pleasethe women, _mit_ lots of closet room, and--excuse me, ladies--to hellwith the expenses! I'll go upstairs with you and show you what I mean. "

Benno frowned angrily. 

"'Tain't necessary, Louis, " he said. "Mrs. Ortelsburg would show him. "

He drew forward chairs; and, after Elkan and Yetta had followed Mrs. Ortelsburg upstairs, he closed the library door. 

"Couldn't I introduce people in my own house, Stout?" he demanded. 

Louis Stout shrugged his shoulders. 

"If you mean as a matter of ettykit--yes, " he retorted; "_aber_ if it'sa real-estate transaction--no. When I bring a customer to Mr. Glaubmannfor his Linden Boulevard house, Ortelsburg, I do the introducing myself, which afterward I don't want no broker to claim he earned the commissionby introducing the customer first--understand me?"

He seated himself and smiled calmly at Kamin, Glaubmann, and his host. 

"I ain't living in the country for my health exactly, " he declared, "anddon't you forget it. "

"Where's your written authorization from the owner?" Ortelsburgdemanded, raising a familiar point of real-estate brokerage law; andStout tapped his breast pocket. 

"Six months ago already, " Stout replied, "Mr. Glaubmann writes me if Ihear of a customer for his house he would protect me, and I got theletter here in my pocket. Ain't that right, Mr. Glaubmann?"

Glaubmann had walked toward the window and was looking out upon thebudding white poplars that spread their branches at a height of sixfeet above the sidewalks of Burgess Park. He nodded in confirmation ofLouis' statement; and as he did so a short, stout person, who wasproceeding hurriedly down the street in the direction of the station, paused in front of the Ortelsburg residence. A moment later he rang thebell and Ortelsburg himself opened the door. 

"_Nu_, Mr. Kovner!" he said. "What could I do for you?"

"Mr. Glaubmann just nods to me out of your window, " Max Kovner replied, "and I thought he wants to speak to me. "

Benno returned to the library with Max at his heels. 

"Do you want to speak to Mr. Kovner, Glaubmann?" he asked, and Glaubmannstarted perceptibly. During the months of Max Kovner's tenancy Glaubmannhad not only refrained from visiting his Linden Boulevard house, but hehad also performed feats of disappearance resembling Indian warfare inhis efforts to avoid Max Kovner on the streets of Burgess Park. All thiswas the result of Max Kovner's taking possession of the Linden Boulevardhouse upon Glaubmann's agreement to make necessary plumbing repairs andto paint and repaper the living rooms; and Glaubmann's complete breachof this agreement was reflected in the truculency of Max Kovner's manneras he entered the Ortelsburg library. 

"Maybe Glaubmann don't want to speak to me, " he cried, "but I want tospeak to him, and in the presence of you gentlemen here also. "

He banged Ortelsburg's library table with his clenched fist. 

"Once and for all, Mr. Glaubmann, " he said, "either you would fix thatplumbing and do that painting, understand me, or I would move out ofyour Linden Boulevard house the first of next month sure!"

Glaubmann received this ultimatum with a defiant grin. 

"_Schmooes_, Kovner, " he said, "you wouldn't do nothing of the kind! Yougot _mit_ me a verbal lease for one year in the presence of my wife, your wife and a couple of other people which the names I forget. "

"And how about the repairs?" Kovner demanded. 

"If you seen the house needs repairs and you go into possession anyhow, "Glaubmann retorted, "you waive the repairs, because the agreement torepair merges in the lease. That's what Kent J. Goldstein, my lawyer, says, Kovner; and ask any other lawyer, Kovner, and he could tell youthe same. "

"So, " Kovner exclaimed, "I am stuck with that rotten house for a year!Is that the idee?"

Glaubmann nodded. 

"All right, Mr. Glaubmann, " Kovner concluded. "You are here in a strangehouse to me and I couldn't do nothing; but I am coming over to youroffice to-morrow, and if I got to sit there all day, understand me, wewould settle this thing up. "

"That's all right, " Ortelsburg interrupted. "When you got real-estatebusiness with Glaubmann, Mr. Kovner, his office is the right place tosee him. _Aber_ here is a private house and Sunday, Mr. Kovner, and weain't doing no real-estate business here. So, if you got a pressingengagement somewheres else, Mr. Kovner, don't let me hurry you. "

He opened the library door, and with a final glare at his landlord Maxpassed slowly out. 

"That's a dangerous feller, " Glaubmann said as his tenant banged thestreet door behind him. "He goes into possession for one year without awritten lease containing a covenant for repairs by the landlord, y'understand, and now he wants to blame me for it! Honestly, the waysome people acts so unreasonable, Kamin, it's enough to sicken me withthe real-estate business!"

Kamin nodded sympathetically, but Louis Stout made an impatient gestureby way of bringing the conversation back to its original theme. 

"That ain't here or there, " he declared. "The point is I am fetching youa customer for your Linden Boulevard house, Glaubmann, and I want thishere matter of the commission settled right away. "

Ortelsburg rose to his feet as a shuffling on the stairs announced thedescent of his guests. 

"Commissions we would talk about afterward, " he said. "First let us sellthe house. "

 * * * * *

In Benno Ortelsburg's ripe experience there were as many methods ofselling suburban residences as there were residences for sale; and, likethe born salesman he was, he realized that each transaction possessedits individual obstacles, to be overcome by no hard-and-fast rules ofsalesmanship. Thus he quickly divined that whoever sought to sell Elkana residence in Burgess Park must first convince Yetta, and he proceededimmediately to apportion the chips for a five-handed game of auctionpinocle, leaving Yetta to be entertained by his wife. Mrs. Ortelsburg'spowers of persuasion in the matter of suburban property were second onlyto her husband's, and the game had not proceeded very far when Bennolooked into the adjoining room and observed with satisfaction that Yettawas listening open-mouthed to Mrs. Ortelsburg's fascinating narrative oflife in Burgess Park. 

"Forty hens we got it, " she declared; "and this month alone they arelaying on us every day a dozen eggs--some days ten, or nine at theleast. Then, of course, if we want a little fricassee once in a while wecould do that also. "

"How do you do when you are getting all of a sudden company?" Yettaasked. "I didn't see no delicatessen store round here. "

"You didn't?" Mrs. Ortelsburg exclaimed. "Why, right behind the depot isMrs. J. Kaplan's a delicatessen store, which I am only saying to heryesterday, 'Mrs. Kaplan, ' I says, 'how do you got all the time suchfresh, nice smoke-tongue here?' And she says, 'It's the country air, 'she says, 'which any one could see; not alone smoke-tongue keeps fresh, _aber_ my daughter also, when she comes down here, ' she says, 'she ispale like anything--and look at her now!' And it's a fact, Mrs. Lubliner, the daughter did look sick, and to-day yet she's got acomplexion fresh like a tomato already. That's what Burgess Park donefor her!"

"But don't you got difficulty keeping a girl, Mrs. Ortelsburg?" Yettainquired. 

"Difficulty?" Mrs. Ortelsburg cried. "Why, just let me show you mykitchen. The girls love it here. In the first place, we are only twentyminutes from Coney Island; and, in the second place, with all the eggswhich we got it, they could always entertain their fellers here in sucha fine, big kitchen, which I am telling my girl, Lena: 'So long as yougive 'em omelets or fried eggs _mit_ fat, Lena, I don't care how manyeggs you use--_aber_ butter is butter in Burgess Park _oder_ Harlem. '"

In this vein Mrs. Ortelsburg continued for more than an hour, while sheconducted Yetta to the kitchen and cellar and back again to thebedrooms above stairs, until she decided that sufficient interest hadbeen aroused to justify the more robust method of her husband. Shetherefore returned to the library, and therewith began for BennoOrtelsburg the real business of the afternoon. 

"Well, boys, " he said, "I guess we would quit pinocle for a while andjoin the ladies. "

He chose for this announcement a moment when Elkan's chips showed aprofit of five dollars; and as, in his capacity of banker, he adjustedthe losses of the other players, he kept up a merry conversationdirected at Mrs. Lubliner. 

"Here in Burgess Park, " he said, "we play pinocle and we leave it alone;while in the city when a couple business men play pinocle they spend aday at it--and why? Because they only get a chance to play pinocle oncein a while occasionally. Every night they are going to theatre _oder_ alodge affair, understand me; whereas here, the train service at nightnot being so extra elegant, y'understand, we got good houses and we stayin 'em; which in Burgess Park after half-past seven in the evening anyone could find a dozen pinocle games to play in--and all of 'em breaksup by half-past ten already. "

With this tribute to the transit facilities and domesticity of BurgessPark, he concluded stacking up the chips and turned to Mrs. Lubliner. 

"Yes, Mrs. Lubliner, " he continued with an amiable smile, "if youwouldn't persuade your husband to move out to Burgess Park, understandme, I shall consider it you don't like our house here at all. "

"But I do like your house!" Yetta protested. 

"I should hope so, " Benno continued, "on account it would be a poorcompliment to a lot of people which could easy be good customers of yourhusband. For instance, this house was decorated by Robitscher, Smith &Company, which Robitscher lives across the street already; and his wifeis Joel Ribnik's--the McKinnon-Weldon Drygoods Company's--a sisteralready. "

"You don't tell me?" Yetta murmured. 

"And Joel is staying with 'em right now, " Benno went on. "Furthermore, we got our furniture and carpets by Sig Tarnowitz, which he lives acouple of doors down from here--also got relatives in the retaildrygoods business by the name Tarnowitz-Wixman Drygoods Company. Thebrother, Julius Tarnowitz, is eating dinner with 'em to-day. "

"It's a regular buyers' colony here, so to speak, " Louis Stout said, andJoseph Kamin nodded. 

"Tell you what you do, Benno, " Joseph suggested. "Get Tarnowitz andRibnik to come over here. I think Elkan would like to meet them. "

Benno slapped his thigh with a resounding blow. 

"That's a great idee!" he cried; and half an hour later the Ortelsburglibrary was thronged with visitors, for not only Joel Ribnik and JuliusTarnowitz had joined Benno's party, but seated in easy chairs wereRobitscher, the decorator, and Tarnowitz, the furniture dealer. 

"Yes, siree, sir!" Robitscher cried. "Given the same decorativetreatment to that Linden Boulevard house, Mr. Lubliner, and it would gotOrtelsburg's house here skinned to pieces, on account over there it ismore open and catches the sun afternoon and morning both. "

During this pronouncement Elkan's face wore a ghastly smile and heunderwent the sensations of the man in the tonneau of a touring carwhich is beginning to skid toward a telegraph pole. 

"In that case I should recommend you don't buy a Kermanshah rug for thefront room, " Sigmund Tarnowitz interrupted. "I got in my place right nowan antique Beloochistan, which I would let go at only four hundreddollars. "

"_Aber_ four hundred dollars is an awful lot of money to pay for a rug, "Elkan protested. He had avoided looking at Yetta for the past half-hour;but now he glanced fearfully at her, and in doing so received a distinctshock, for Yetta sat with shining eyes and flushed cheeks, inoculatedbeyond remedy with the virus of the artistic-home fever. 

"Four hundred ain't so much for a rug, " she declared. 

"Not for an antique Beloochistan, " Sig Tarnowitz said, "because everyyear it would increase in value on you. "

"Just the same like that Linden Boulevard house, " Ortelsburg added, "which you could take it from me, Mrs. Lubliner, if you don't get rightaway an offer of five hundred dollars advance on your purchase price Iwould eat the house, plumbing and all. "

At the word "plumbing" Glaubmann started visibly. 

"The plumbing would be fixed so good as new, " he said; "and I tell youwhat I would do also, Mr. Lubliner--I would pay fifty per cent. Of thedecorations if Mr. Ortelsburg would make me an allowance of a hundreddollars on the commission!"

"Could anything be fairer than this?" Ortelsburg exclaimed; and hegrinned maliciously as Louis Stout succumbed to a fit of coughing. 

"But we ain't even seen the house!" Elkan cried. 

"Never mind we ain't seen it, " Yetta said; "if the house is the samelike this that's all I care about. "

"Sure, I know, " Elkan replied; "but I want to see the house first beforeI would even commence to think of buying it. "

"_Schon gut!_" Glaubmann said. "I ain't got no objection to show you thehouse from the outside; _aber_ there is at present people living in thehouse, understand me, which for the present we couldn't go inside. "

"Mr. Lubliner don't want to see the inside, Glaubmann!" Ortelsburgcried, in tones implying that he deprecated Glaubmann's suggestion asimpugning Elkan's good faith in the matter. "The inside would berepaired and decorated to suit, Mr. Glaubmann, but the outside he's gota right to see; so we would all go round there and give a look. "

Ten minutes afterward a procession of nine persons passed through thestreets of Burgess Park and lingered on the sidewalk oppositeGlaubmann's house. There Ortelsburg descanted on the comparatively highelevation of Linden Boulevard and Mrs. Ortelsburg pointed out thechicken-raising possibilities of the back lot; and, after gazing at theshrubbery and incipient shade trees that were planted in the front yard, the line of march was resumed in the direction of Burgess Park'sbusiness neighbourhood. Another pause was made at Mrs. J. Kaplin'sdelicatessen store; and, laden with packages of smoked tongue, Swisscheese and dill pickles, the procession returned to the Ortelsburgresidence marshalled by Benno Ortelsburg, who wielded as a baton aten-cent loaf of rye bread. 

Thus the remainder of the evening was spent in feasting and morepinocle until nearly midnight, when Elkan and Yetta returned to town onthe last train. Hence, with his late homecoming and the Ortelsburgs'delicatessen supper, Elkan slept ill that night, so that it was pastnine o'clock before he arrived at his office the following morning. Instead of the satirical greeting which he anticipated from his seniorpartner, however, he was received with unusual cordiality by Polatkin, whose face was spread in a grin. 

"Well, Elkan, " he said, "you done a good job when you decided to buythat house. "

"When I decided to buy the house? Who says I decided to buy the house?"Elkan cried. 

"J. Kamin did, " Polatkin explained. "He was here by a quarter to eightalready; and not alone J. Kamin was here, but Joel Ribnik and JuliusTarnowitz comes in also. Scheikowitz and me has been on the jump, I betyer; in fact, Scheikowitz is in there now with J. Kamin and Tarnowitz. Between 'em, those fellers has picked out four thousand dollars' goods. "

Elkan looked at his partner in unfeigned astonishment. 

"So soon?" he said. 

"Ribnik too, " Polatkin continued. "He makes a selection of nine hundreddollars' goods--among 'em a couple stickers like them styles 2040 and2041. He says he is coming back in half an hour, on account he's got anappointment with a brother-in-law of his. "

"By the name Robitscher?" Elkan asked. 

"That's the feller, " Polatkin answered. "Ribnik says you promisedRobitscher the decorations from the house you are buying. "

"What d'ye mean I promised him the decorations from the house I ambuying?" Elkan exclaimed in anguished tones. "In the first place, Iain't promised him nothing of the kind; and, in the second place, Iain't even bought the house yet. "

"That part will be fixed up all right, " Polatkin replied, "because Mr. Glaubmann rings up half an hour ago, and he says that so soon as we needhim and the lawyer we should telephone for 'em. "

For a brief interval Elkan choked with rage. 

"Say, lookyhere, Mr. Polatkin, " he sputtered at last, "who is going tolive in this house--you _oder_ me?"

"You are going to live in the house, Elkan, " Polatkin declared, "becauseme I don't need a house. I already got one house, Elkan, and I ain'ttwins exactly; and also them fellers is very plain about it, Elkan, which they told me and Scheikowitz up and down, that if you wouldn't buythe house they wouldn't confirm us the orders. "

At this juncture Scheikowitz entered the office. From the doorway of theshowroom he had observed the discussion between Elkan and his partner;and he had entirely deserted his prospective customers to aid inElkan's coercion. 

"Polatkin is right, Elkan!" he cried. "You got to consider Louis Stoutalso. Kamin said he would never forgive us if the deal didn't gothrough. "

Elkan bit his lips irresolutely. 

"I don't see what you are hesitating about, " Polatkin went on. "Yettalikes the house--ain't it?"

"She's crazy about it, " Elkan admitted. 

"Then what's the use talking?" Scheikowitz declared; and he glancedanxiously toward Tarnowitz and Kamin, who were holding a whisperedconference in the showroom. "Let's make an end and get the thing over. Telephone this here Glaubmann he should come right over with Ortelsburgand the lawyer. "

"But ain't I going to have no lawyer neither?" Elkan demanded. 

"Sure you are, " Scheikowitz replied. "I took a chance, Elkan, and Itelephoned Henry D. Feldman half an hour since already. He says he wouldsend one up of his assistants, Mr. Harvey J. Sugarberg, right away. "

 * * * * *

When it came to drawing a real-estate contract there existed for Kent J. Goldstein no incongruities of time and place. Kent was the veteran of adozen real-estate booms, during which he had drafted agreements at allhours of the day and night, improvising as his office the back room of aliquor saloon or the cigar counter of a barber shop; and, in default ofany other writing material, he was quite prepared to tattoo a briefthough binding agreement with gunpowder on the skin of the vendor'sback. 

Thus the transaction between Glaubmann and Elkan Lubliner presented nodifficulties to Kent J. Goldstein; and he handled the details with suchcare and dispatch that the contract was nearly finished before Harvey J. Sugarberg remembered the instructions of his principal. As attorney forthe buyer, it was Henry D. Feldman's practice to see that the contractof sale provided every opportunity for his client lawfully to avoidtaking title should he desire for any reason, lawful or unlawful, toback out; and this rule of his principal occurred to Harvey just as heand Goldstein were writing the clause relating to incumbrances. 

"The premises are to be conveyed free and clear of all incumbrances, "Kent read aloud, "except the mortgage and covenant against nuisancesabove described and the present tenancies of said premises. "

He had brought with him two blank forms of agreement; and as he filledin the blanks on one of them he read aloud what he was writing andHarvey Sugarberg inserted the same clause in the other. Up to thisjuncture Harvey had taken Kent's dictation with such remarkable docilitythat Elkan and his partners had frequently exchanged disquietingglances, and they were correspondingly elated when Harvey at lengthbalked. 

"One moment, Mr. Goldstein, " he said--and, but for a slight nervousness, he reproduced with histrionic accuracy the tone and gesture of hisemployer--"as _locum tenens_ for my principal I must decline to insertthe phrase, 'and the present tenancies of said premises. '"

Kent wasted no time in forensic dispute when engaged in a real-estatetransaction, though, if necessary, he could make kindling of thestrongest rail that ever graced the front of a jury-box. 

"How 'bout it, Glaubmann?" he said. "The premises is occupied--ain'tthey?"

Glaubmann flapped his right hand in a gesture of _laissez-faire_. 

"The feller moves out by the first of next month, " he said; and Kentturned to Elkan. 

"Are you satisfied that the tenant stays in the house until the first?"he asked. "That will be three days after the contract is closed. "

Elkan shrugged his shoulders. 

"Why not?" he said. 

"All right, Mr. ----Forget your name!" Kent cried. "Cut out 'and thepresent tenancies of said premises. '"

At this easy victory a shade of disappointment passed over the faces ofHarvey Sugarberg and his clients, and the contract proceeded withoutfurther objection to its rapid conclusion. 

"Now then, my friends, " Kent announced briskly, "we're ready for thesignatures. "

At this, the crucial point of all real-estate transactions, a briefsilence fell upon the assembled company, which included not only theattorneys and the clients, but Ortelsburg, Kamin, Tarnowitz and Ribnikas well. Finally Glaubmann seized a pen, and, jabbing it viciously in aninkpot, he made a John Hancock signature at the foot of the agreement'slast page. 

"Now, Mr. Lubliner, " Kent said--and Elkan hesitated. 

"Ain't we going to wait for Louis Stout?" he asked; and immediatelythere was a roar of protest that sounded like a mob scene in a DruryLane melodrama. 

"If Louis Stout ain't here it's his own fault, " Ortelsburg declared; andRibnik, Tarnowitz, and Kamin glowered in unison. 

"I guess he's right, Elkan, " Polatkin murmured. 

"It is his own fault if he ain't here, " Scheikowitz agreed feebly; and, thus persuaded, Elkan appended a small and, by contrast withGlaubmann's, a wholly unimpressive signature to the agreement. Immediately thereafter Elkan passed over a certified check for eighthundred dollars, according to the terms of the contract, which providedthat the title be closed in twenty days at the office of Henry D. Feldman. 

"Well, Mr. Lubliner, " Glaubmann said, employing the formula hallowed bylong usage in all real-estate transactions involving improved property, "I wish you luck in your new house. "

"Much obliged, " Elkan said; and after a general handshaking the entireassemblage crowded into one elevator, so that finally Elkan was leftalone with his partners. 

Polatkin was the first to break a silence of over five minutes'duration. 

"Ain't it funny, " he said, "that we ain't heard from Louis?"

Scheikowitz nodded; and as he did so the elevator door creaked noisilyand there alighted a short, stout person, who, having once beendescribed in the I. O. M. A. Monthly as Benjamin J. Flugel, the MerchantPrince, had never since walked abroad save in a freshly ironed silk hatand a Prince Albert coat. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Flugel?" Polatkin and Scheikowitz cried withone voice, and Mr. Flugel bowed. Albeit a tumult raged within hisbreast, he remained outwardly the dignified man of business; and, asElkan viewed for the first time Louis Stout's impressive partner, hecould not help congratulating himself on the mercantile sagacity thathad made him buy Glaubmann's house. 

"And this is Mr. Lubliner?" Flugel said in even tones. 

"Pleased to meet you, " Elkan said. "I had dinner with your partner onlyyesterday. "

Flugel gulped convulsively in an effort to remain calm. 

"I know it, " he said; "and honestly the longer I am in business withthat feller the more I got to wonder what a _Schlemiel_ he is. Actuallyhe goes to work and tries to do his own partner without knowing it atall. Mind you, if he would be doing it from spite I could understand it;but when one partner don't know that the other partner practicallycloses a deal for a tract of a hundred lots and six houses inJohnsonhurst, and then persuades a prospective purchaser that, insteadof buying in Johnsonhurst, he should buy in Burgess Park, understand me, all I got to say is that if Louis Stout ain't crazy the least hedeserves is that the feller really and truly should buy in BurgessPark. "

"But, Mr. Flugel, " Elkan interrupted, "I did buy in Burgess Park. "

"What!" Flugel shouted. 

"I say that I made a contract for a house out there this morning only, "Elkan said. 

For a few seconds it seemed as though Benjamin J. Flugel's heirs-at-lawwould collect a substantial death benefit from the I. O. M. A. , but theimpending apoplexy was warded off by a tremendous burst of profanity. 

"_Aber_, Mr. Flugel, " Scheikowitz protested, "Louis tells us only lastSaturday, understand me, you told him that Johnsonhurst you wouldn'ttouch at all, on account such lowlifes like Rabiner and Pasinsky livesout there!"

"I know I told him that, " Flugel yelled; "because, if I would say I amgoing to buy out there, Stout goes to work and blabs it all over theplace, and the first thing you know they would jump the price on me afew thousand dollars. He's a dangerous feller, Louis is, Mr. Scheikowitz!"

Elkan shrugged his shoulders. 

"That may be, Mr. Flugel, " he said, "but I signed the contract withGlaubmann for his house on Linden Boulevard--and that's all there is toit!"

Polatkin and Scheikowitz nodded in melancholy unison. 

"Do you got the contract here?" Flugel asked; and Elkan picked up thedocument from his desk, where it had been placed by Goldstein. 

"You paid a fancy price for the house, " Flugel continued, as he examinedthe agreement. 

"I took your partner's advice, Mr. Flugel, " Elkan retorted. 

"Why, for eighteen thousand five hundred dollars, in Johnsonhurst, "Flugel continued, "I could give you a palace already!"

He scanned the various clauses of the contract with the critical eye ofan experienced real-estate operator; and before he had completed hisexamination the elevator door again creaked open. 

"Is Glaubmann gone?" cried a voice from the interior of the car, and thenext moment Kovner alighted. 

Flugel looked up from the contract. 

"Hello, Kovner, " he said, "are you in this deal too?"

"I ain't in any deal, " Kovner replied. "I am looking for BarnettGlaubmann. They told me in his office he is coming over here and wouldbe here all the morning. "

"Well, he was here, " Elkan replied, "but he went away again. "

Kovner sat down without invitation. 

"It ain't no more as I expected, " he began in the dull, resigned tonesof a man with a grievance. "That swindler has been dodging me for fourmonths now, and I guess he will keep on dodging me for the rest of theyear that he claims I got a lease on his house for. "

"What house?" Flugel asked. 

"The house which I am living in it, " Max replied--"on Linden Boulevard, Burgess Park. "

"On Linden Boulevard, Burgess Park!" Flugel repeated. "Why, then it'sthe same house--ain't it, Lubliner?"

Elkan nodded, and as he did so Flugel struck the desk a tremendous blowwith his fist. 

"Fine!" he ejaculated. 

"Fine!" Kovner repeated. "What the devil you are talking about, fine? Doyou think it's fine I should got to live a whole year in a house whichthe least it must got to be spent on it is for plumbing a hundreddollars and for painting a couple hundred more?"

"That's all right, " Flugel declared with enthusiasm. "It ain't so bad asit looks; because if you can show that you got a right to stay in thathouse for the rest of the year, understand me, I'll make a propositionto you. "

"Show it?" Kovner exclaimed. "I don't got to show it, because I couldn'thelp myself, Mr. Flugel. Glaubmann claims that I made a verbal lease forone year, and he's right. I was fool enough to do so. "

Flugel glanced inquiringly at Polatkin and Scheikowitz. 

"How about that?" he asked. "The contract don't say nothing about ayear's lease. "

"I know it don't, " Elkan replied, "because when our lawyer raises thequestion about the tenant Glaubmann says he could get him out at anytime. "

"And he can too, " Kovner declared with emphasis, but Flugel shook hishead. 

"No, he can't, Kovner, " he said; "or, anyway, he ain't going to, becauseyou are going to stay in that house. "

"With the rotten plumbing it's got?" Kovner cried. "Not by a whole lot Iain't. "

"The plumbing could be fixed and the painting also, " Flugel retorted. 

"By Glaubmann?" Kovner asked. 

"No, sir, " Flugel replied; "by me, with a hundred dollars cash to boot. I would even give you an order on my plumber he should fix up theplumbing and on my house painter he should fix up the painting, Kovner;_aber_ you got to stick it out that you are under lease for the rest ofthe year. "

"And when do I get the work done?" Kovner demanded. 

"To-day, " Flugel announced--"this afternoon if you want it. "

"But hold on there a minute!" Elkan protested. "If I am going to takethat house I don't want no painting done there till I am good andready. "

Flugel smiled loftily at Elkan. 

"You ain't going to take that house at all, " he said, "because thecontract says that it is to be conveyed free and clear, except themortgage and a covenant against nuisances. So you reject the title onthe grounds that the house is leased for a year. Do you get the idee?"

Elkan nodded. 

"And next Sunday, " Flugel continued, "I wish you'd take a run down withme in my oitermobile to Johnsonhurst. It's an elegant, high-classsuburb. "

 * * * * *

Insomnia bears the same relation to the calling of real-estate operatorsthat fossyjaw does to the worker in the match industry; and, during thetwenty days that preceded the closing of his contract with Elkan, Barnett Glaubmann spent many a sleepless night in contemplation ofdisputed brokerage claims by Kamin, Stout and Ortelsburg. Moreover, theknowledge that Henry D. Feldman represented the purchaser was aninfluence far from sedative; and what little sleep Glaubmann secured wasfilled with nightmares of fence encroachments, defects in the legalproceedings for opening of Linden Boulevard as a public highway, and ascore of other technical objections that Feldman might raise to freeElkan from his contract. 

Not once, however, did Glaubmann consider the tenancy of Max Kovner asany objection to title. Indeed, he was so certain of Kovner'swillingness to move out that he even pondered the advisability ofgouging Max for twenty-five or fifty dollars as a consideration foraccepting a surrender of the verbal lease; and to that end he avoidedthe Linden Boulevard house until the morning before the date set for theclosing of the title. 

Then, having observed Max board the eight-five train for BrooklynBridge, he sauntered off to interview Mrs. Kovner; and as he turned thecorner of Linden Boulevard he sketched out a plan of action that had forits foundation the complete intimidation of Mrs. Kovner. This beingsecured, he would proceed to suggest the payment of fifty dollars as thealternative of strong measures against Max Kovner for allowing theLinden Boulevard premises to fall into such bad repair; and he was sofull of his idea that he had begun to ascend the front stoop of theKovner house before he noticed the odour of fresh paint. 

Never in the history of the Kovner house had the electric bell been inworking order. Hence Glaubmann knocked with his naked fist and left theimprint of his four knuckles on the wet varnish just as Mrs. Kovnerflung wide the door. It was at this instant that Glaubmann's well-laidplans were swept away. 

"Now see what you done, you dirty slob you!" she bellowed. "What's thematter with you? Couldn't you ring the bell?"

"Why, Mrs. Kovner, " Glaubmann stammered, "the bell don't ring at all. Ain't it?"

"The bell don't ring?" Mrs. Kovner exclaimed. "Who says it don't?"

She pressed the button with her finger and a shrill response came fromwithin. 

"Who fixed it?" Glaubmann asked. 

"Who fixed it?" Mrs. Kovner repeated. "Who do you suppose fixed it?Do you think we got from charity to fix it? _Gott sei Dank_, weain't exactly beggars, Mr. Glaubmann. Ourselves we fixed it, Mr. Glaubmann--and the painting and the plumbing also; because if youwould got in savings bank what I got it, Mr. Glaubmann, you wouldn'tmake us so much trouble about paying for a couple hundred dollars'repairs. "

"_Aber_, " Glaubmann began, "you shouldn't of done it!"

"I know we shouldn't, " Mrs. Kovner replied. "We should of stayed herethe rest of the year with the place looking like a pigsty already!_Aber_ don't kick till you got to, Mr. Glaubmann. It would be timeenough to say something when we sue you by the court yet that you shouldpay for the repairs we are making here. "

Glaubmann pushed his hat back from his forehead and wiped his streamingbrow. 

"_Nu_, Mrs. Kovner, " he said at last, "it seems to me we got amisunderstanding all round here. I would like to talk the matter overwith you. "

With this conciliatory prelude he assumed an easy attitude by crossinghis legs and supporting himself with one hand on the freshly painteddoorjamb, whereat Mrs. Kovner uttered a horrified shriek, and the ragewhich three weeks of housepainters' clutter had fomented in her bosomburst forth unchecked. 

"Out from here, you dirty loafer you!" she shrieked, and grabbed acalcimining brush from one of the many paintpots that bestrewed thehallway. Glaubmann bounded down the front stoop to the sidewalk justas Mrs. Kovner made a frenzied pass at him with the brush; andconsequently, when he entered Kent J. Goldstein's office on NassauStreet an hour later, his black overcoat was speckled like the hide ofan axis deer. 

"Goldstein, " he said hoarsely, "is it assault that some one paints youfrom head to foot with calcimine?"

"It is if you got witnesses, " Goldstein replied; "otherwise it'smisfortune. Who did it?"

"That she-devil--the wife of the tenant in that house I sold Lubliner, "Glaubmann replied. "I think we're going to have trouble with thempeople, Goldstein. "

"You will if you try to sue 'em without witnesses, Glaubmann, " Goldsteinobserved; "because suing without witnesses is like trying to playpinocle without cards. It can't be done. "

Glaubmann shook his head sadly. 

"I ain't going to sue 'em, " he said. "I ain't so fond of lawsuits likeall that; and, besides, a little calcimine is nothing, Goldstein, towhat them people can do to me. They're going to claim they got there ayear's verbal lease. "

Goldstein shrugged his shoulders. 

"That's all right, " he commented. "They want to gouge you for fiftydollars or so; and, with the price you're getting for the house, Glaubmann, you can afford to pay 'em. "

"Gouge nothing!" Glaubmann declared. "They just got done there a couplehundred dollars' painting and plumbing, y'understand, and they're goingto stick it out. "

Goldstein pursed his lips in an ominous whistle. 

"A verbal lease, hey?" he muttered. 

Glaubmann nodded sadly. 

"And this time there is witnesses, " he said; and he related to hisattorney the circumstances under which the original lease was made, together with the incident attending Kovner's visit to Ortelsburg'shouse. 

"It looks like you're up against it, Glaubmann, " Goldstein declared. 

"But couldn't I claim that I was only bluffing the feller?" Glaubmannasked. 

"Sure you could, " Goldstein replied; "but when Kovner went to work andpainted the house and fixed the plumbing he called your bluff, Glaubmann; so the only thing to do is to ask for an adjournmentto-morrow. "

"And suppose they won't give it to us?" Glaubmann asked. 

Goldstein shrugged his shoulders. 

"I'm a lawyer, Glaubmann--not a prophet, " he said; "but if I know HenryD. Feldman you won't get any adjournment--so you may as well make yourplans accordingly. "

For a brief interval Glaubmann nodded his head slowly, and then he burstinto a mirthless laugh. 

"Real estate, " he said, "that's something to own. Rheumatism is a fineasset compared to it; in fact if some one gives me my choice, Goldstein, I would say rheumatism every time. Both of 'em keep you awake nights;but there's one thing about rheumatism, Goldstein"--here he indulged inanother bitter laugh--"you don't need a lawyer to get rid of it!" hesaid, and banged the door behind him. 

 * * * * *

If there was any branch of legal practice in which Henry D. Feldmanexcelled it was conveyancing, and he brought to it all the histrionicability that made him so formidable as a trial lawyer. Indeed, Feldmanwas accustomed to treat the conveyancing department of his office as abusiness-getter for the more lucrative field of litigation, and hespared no pains to make each closing of title an impressive and dramaticspectacle. 

Thus the _mise-en-scène_ of the Lubliner closing was excellent. Feldmanhimself sat in a baronial chair at the head of his library table, whileto a seat on his right he had assigned Kent J. Goldstein. On his lefthe had placed Mr. Jones, the representative of the title company, agaunt, sandy-haired man of thirty-five who, by the device of a pair ofhuge horn spectacles, had failed to distract public attention from anutterly stupendous Adam's apple. 

Next to the title company's representative were placed Elkan Lublinerand his partners, and it was to them that Henry D. Feldman addressed hisopening remarks. 

"Mr. Lubliner, " he said in the soft accents in which he began all hiscrescendos, "the examination of the record title to Mr. Glaubmann'sLinden Boulevard premises has been made at my request by the Law TitleInsurance and Guaranty Company. "

He made a graceful obeisance toward Mr. Jones, who acknowledged it witha convulsion of his Adam's apple. 

"I have also procured a survey to be made, " Feldman continued; and, amida silence that was broken only by the heavy breathing of BarnettGlaubmann, he held up an intricate design washed with watercolour onglazed muslin. 

"Finally I have done this, " he declared, and his brows gathered in atragic frown as his glance swept in turn the faces of Kent J. Goldstein, Benno Ortelsburg, J. Kamin, and Glaubmann--"I have procured aninspector's report upon the occupation of the _locus in quo_. "

"Oo-ee!" Glaubmann murmured, and Louis Stout exchanged triumphantglances with Polatkin and Scheikowitz. 

"And I find, " Feldman concluded, "there is a tenant in possession, claiming under a year's lease which will not expire until October firstnext. "

Mr. Jones nodded and cleared his throat so noisily that, to relieve hisembarrassment, he felt obliged to crack each of his knuckles in turn. Asfor Ribnik and Tarnowitz, they sat awestruck in the rear of Feldman'sspacious library and felt vaguely that they were in a place of worship. Only Kent J. Goldstein remained unimpressed; and in order to show it hescratched a parlour match on the leg of Feldman's library table; whereatFeldman's _ex-cathedra_ manner forsook him. 

"Where in blazes do you think you are, Goldstein?" he asked incolloquial tones--"in a barroom?"

"If it's solid mahogany, " Goldstein retorted, "it'll rub up like new. Ithink you were talking about the tenancy of the premises here. "

Feldman choked down his indignation and once more became the dignifiedadvocate. 

"That is not the only objection to title, Mr. Goldstein, " he said. "Mr. Jones, kindly read the detailed objections contained in your report ofclosing. "

Mr. Jones nodded again and responded to Feldman's demand in a voicethat profoundly justified the size of his larynx. 

"Description in deed dated January 1, 1783, " he began, "from Joost vanGend to William Wauters, is defective; one course reading 'thence alongsaid ditch north to a white-oak tree' should be 'south to a white-oaktree. '"

"Well, what's the difference?" Goldstein interrupted. "It's monumentedby the white-oak tree. "

"That was cut down long ago, " Mr. Jones said. 

"Not by me!" Glaubmann declared. "I give you my word, gentlemen, thetrees on the lot is the same like I bought it. "

Feldman allowed his eyes to rest for a moment on the protestingGlaubmann, who literally crumpled in his chair. 

"Proceed, Mr. Jones, " Feldman said to the title company'srepresentative, who continued without further interruption to the end ofhis list. This included all the technical objections which Glaubmann hadfeared, as well as a novel and interesting point concerning a partitionsuit in Chancery, brought in 1819, and affecting Glaubmann's chain oftitle to a strip in the rear of his lot, measuring one quarter of aninch in breadth by seven feet in length. 

"So far as I can see, Feldman, " Goldstein commented as Mr. Jones laiddown his report, "the only objection that will hold water is the oneconcerning Max Kovner's tenancy. As a matter of fact, I have witnessesto show that Kovner has always claimed that he didn't hold a lease. "

For answer, Feldman touched the button of an electric bell. 

"Show in Mr. And Mrs. Kovner, " he said to the boy who responded. "We'lllet them speak for themselves. "

This, it would appear, they were more than willing to do; for as soon asthey entered the room and caught sight of Glaubmann, who by this timewas fairly cowering in his chair, they immediately began a concertedtirade that was only ended when Goldstein banged vigorously on thelibrary table, using as a gavel one of Feldman's metal-tipped rulers. 

"That'll do, Goldstein!" Feldman said hoarsely. "I think I can preserveorder in my own office. "

"Why don't you then?" Goldstein retorted, as he leaned back in his chairand regarded with a malicious smile the damage he had wrought. 

"Yes, Mr. Glaubmann, " Kovner began anew, "you thought you got ushelpless there in your house; but----"

"Shut up!" Feldman roared again, forgetting his rôle of the polishedadvocate; and Goldstein fairly beamed with satisfaction. 

"Don't bully your own witness, " he said. "Let me do it for you. "

He turned to Kovner with a beetling frown. 

"Now, Kovner, " he commenced, "you claim you've got a verbal lease for ayear of this Linden Boulevard house, don't you?"

"I sure do, " Kovner replied, "and I got witnesses to prove it. "

"That's all right, " Goldstein rejoined; "so long as there's Biblesthere'll always be witnesses to swear on 'em. The point is: How do youclaim the lease was made?"

"I don't claim nothing, " Kovner replied. "I got a year's lease on thatproperty because, in the presence of my wife and his wife, Mr. Goldstein, he says to me I must either take the house for a year fromlast October to next October or I couldn't take it at all. "

Feldman smiled loftily at his opponent. 

"The art of cross-examination is a subtle one, Goldstein, " he said, "andif you don't understand it you're apt to prove the other fellow's case. "

"Nevertheless, " Goldstein continued, "I'm going to ask him one morequestion, and that is this: When was this verbal agreement made--beforeor after you moved into the house?"

"Before I moved in, certainly, " Kovner answered. "I told you that hesays to me I couldn't move in unless I would agree to take the place fora year. "

"And when did you move in?" Goldstein continued. 

"On the first of October, " Kovner said. 

"No, popper, " Mrs. Kovner interrupted; "we didn't move in on the first. We moved in the day before. "

"That's right, " Kovner said--"we moved in on the thirtieth ofSeptember. "

"So, " Goldstein declared, "you made a verbal agreement before Septemberthirtieth for a lease of one year from October first?"

Kovner nodded and Goldstein turned to Henry D. Feldman, whose loftysmile had completely disappeared. 

"Well, Feldman, " he said, "you pulled a couple of objections on me from'way back in the last century, understand me; so I guess it won't hurtif I remind you of a little statute passed in the reign of Charles theSecond, which says: 'All contracts which by their terms are not to beperformed within one year must be in writing and signed by the party tobe charged. ' I mean the Statute of Frauds. "

"I know what you mean all right, " Feldman replied; "but you'll have toprove that before a court and jury. Just now we are confronted withKovner, who claims to have a year's lease; and my client is relievedfrom his purchase in the circumstances. No man is bound to buy alawsuit, Goldstein. "

"I know he ain't, " Goldstein retorted; "but what's the difference, Feldman? He'll have a lawsuit on his hands, anyhow, because if he don'ttake title now, understand me, I'll bring an action to compel him to doso this very afternoon. "

At this juncture a faint croaking came from the vicinity of Louis Stout, who throughout had been as appreciative a listener as though he wereoccupying an orchestra chair and had bought his seat from a speculator. 

"Speak up, Mr. Stout!" Feldman cried. 

"I was saying, " Louis replied faintly, "that with my own ears I heardGlaubmann say to Kovner that he's got a verbal lease for one year. "

"And when was this?" Feldman asked. 

"About three weeks ago, " Stout replied. 

"Then, in that case, Mr. Goldstein, " Feldman declared, "let me presentto you another proposition of law. "

He paused to formulate a sufficiently impressive "offer" as the lawyerssay, and in the silence that followed Elkan shuffled to his feet. 

"It ain't necessary, Mr. Feldman, " he said. "I already made up my mindabout it. "

"About what?" Louis Stout exclaimed. 

"About taking the house, " Elkan replied. "If you'll let me have thefigures, Mr. Feldman, I'll draw a check and have it certified and we'llclose this thing up. "

"_Aber_, Elkan, " Louis cried, "first let me communicate with Flugel. "

"That ain't necessary neither, " Elkan retorted. "I'm going to make anend right here and now; and you should be so good, Mr. Feldman, and fixme up the statement of what I owe here. I want to get through. "

Polatkin rose shakily to his feet. 

"What's the matter, Elkan?" he said huskily. "Are you crazy, _oder_what?"

"Sit down, Mr. Polatkin, " Elkan commanded, and there was a ring ofauthority in his tone that made Polatkin collapse into his chair. "I ambuying this house. "

"But, Elkan, " Louis Stout implored, "why don't you let me talk to Flugelover the 'phone? Might he would got a suggestion to make maybe. "

"That's all right, " Elkan said. "The only suggestion he makes is that ifI go to work and close this contract, y'understand, he would never buyanother dollar's worth of goods from us so long as he lives. So youshouldn't bother to ring him up, Mr. Stout. "

Louis Stout flushed angrily. 

"So far as that goes, Lubliner, " he says, "I don't got to ring up Mr. Flugel to tell you the same thing, so you know what you could do. "

"Sure I know what I could do, " Elkan continued. "I could either dobusiness like a business man or do business like a muzhik, Mr. Stout. _Aber_ this ain't _Russland_, Mr. Stout--this is America; and if I gotto run round wiping people's shoes to sell goods, then I don't want todo it at all. "

J. Kamin took a cigar out of his mouth and spat vigorously. 

"You're dead right, Elkan, " he said. "Go ahead and close the contractand I assure you you wouldn't regret it. "

Elkan's eyes blazed and he turned on Kamin. 

"You assure me!" he said. "Who in thunder are you? Do you think I'mlooking for your business now, Kamin? Why, if you was worth your salt asa merchant, understand me, instead you would be fooling away your timetrying to make a share of a commission, which the most you would get outof it is a hundred dollars, y'understand, you would be attending to yourbusiness buying your spring line. You are wasting two whole days on thisdeal, Kamin; and if two business days out of your spring buying is onlyworth a hundred dollars to you, Kamin, go ahead and get your goodssomewheres else than in our store. I don't need to be Dun or Bradstreetto get a line on you, Kamin--and don't you forget it!"

At this juncture a faint cough localized Joel Ribnik, who had remainedwith Julius Tarnowitz in the obscurity cast by several bound volumes ofdigests and reports. 

"Seemingly, Mr. Polatkin, " he said, "you are a millionaire concern, theway your partner talks! Might you don't need our business, neither, maybe?"

Polatkin was busy checking the ravages made upon his linen by theperspiration that literally streamed down his face and neck; butScheikowitz, who had listened open-mouthed to Elkan's pronunciamento, straightened up in his chair and his face grew set with determination. 

"We ain't millionaires, Mr. Ribnik, " he said--"far from it; and we ain'tnever going to be, understand me, if we got to buy eighteen-thousanddollar houses for every bill of goods we sell to _Schnorrers_ anddeadbeats!"

"Scheikowitz!" Polatkin pleaded. 

"Never mind, Polatkin, " Scheikowitz declared. "The boy is right, Polatkin; and if we are making our living in America we got to act likeAmericans--not peasants. So, go ahead, Stout. Telephone Flugel and tellhim from me that if he wants to take it that way he should do so; andyou, too, Stout--and that's all there is to it!"

"Then I apprehend, gentlemen, that we had better proceed to close, "Feldman said; and Elkan nodded, for as Scheikowitz finished speaking aball had risen in Elkan's throat which, blink as he might, he could notdown for some minutes. 

"All right, Goldstein, " Feldman continued. "Let's fix up the statementof closing. "

"One moment, gentlemen, " Max Kovner said. "Do I understand that, ifElkan Lubliner buys the house to-day, we've got to move out?"

Feldman raised his eyebrows. 

"I think Mr. Goldstein will agree with me, Kovner, when I say youhaven't a leg to stand on, " he declared. "You're completely out of courton your own testimony. "

"You mean we ain't got a lease for a year?" Mrs. Kovner asked. 

"That's right, " Goldstein replied. 

"And I am working my fingers to the bone getting rid of them_verfluchte_ painters and all!" she wailed. "What do you think I amanyway?"

"Well, if you don't want to move right away, " Elkan began, "when wouldit be convenient for you to get out, Mrs. Kovner?"

"I don't want to get out at all, " she whimpered. "Why should I want toget out? The house is an elegant house, which I just planted yesterdaystring beans and tomatoes; and the parlor looks elegant now we got theold paper off. "

"Supposing we say the first of May, " Elkan suggested--"not that I am socrazy to move out to Burgess Park, y'understand; but I don't see what isthe sense buying a house in the country and then not living in it. "

There was a brief silence, broken only by the soft weeping of Mrs. Kovner; and at length Max Kovner shrugged his shoulders. 

"_Nu_, Elkan, " he said, "what is the use beating bushes round? Mrs. Kovner is stuck on the house and so am I. So long as you don't want thehouse, and there's been so much trouble about it and all, I tell youwhat I'll do: Take back two thousand dollars a second mortgage on thehouse, payable in one year at six per cent. , which it is so good asgold, understand me, and I'll relieve you of your contract and give youtwo hundred dollars to boot. "

A smile spread slowly over Elkan's face as he looked significantly atLouis Stout. 

"I don't want your two hundred dollars, Max, " he said. "You can have thehouse and welcome; and you should use the two hundred to pay yourpainting and plumbing bills. "

"That's all right, " Louis Stout said; "there is people which will see toit that he does. Also, gentlemen, I want everybody to understand that Iclaim full commission here from Glaubmann as the only broker in thetransaction!"

"_Nu_, gentlemen, " Glaubmann said; "I'll leave this to the lawyers if itain't so: From one transaction I can only be liable for onecommission--ain't it?"

Feldman and Goldstein nodded in unison. 

"Then all I could say is that yous brokers and drygoods merchants shouldfight it out between yourselves, " he declared; "because I'm going topay the money for the commission into court--and them which is entitledto it can have it. "

"But ain't you going to protect me, Glaubmann?" Ortelsburg demanded. 

Glaubmann raised his hand for silence. 

"One moment, Ortelsburg, " he said. "I think it was you and Kamin told methat real estate is a game the same like auction pinocle?"

Ortelsburg nodded sulkily. 

"Then you fellers should go ahead and play it, " Glaubmann concluded. "And might the best man win!"[B]

[Footnote B: In the face of numerous decisions to the contrary, theauthor holds for the purposes of this story that a verbal lease for oneyear, to commence in the future, is void. ]

CHAPTER SIX

A TALE OF TWO JACOBEAN CHAIRS

NOT A DETECTIVE STORY

"Yes, Mr. Lubliner, " said Max Merech as he sat in the front parlour ofElkan's flat one April Sunday; "if you are going to work to buyfurniture, understand me, it's just so easy to select good-lookingchairs as bad-looking chairs. "

"_Aber_ sometimes it's a whole lot harder to sit on 'em comfortably, "Elkan retorted sourly. On the eve of moving to a larger apartment he andYetta had invited Max to suggest a plan for furnishing and decoratingtheir new dwelling; and it seemed to Elkan that Max had taken undueadvantage of the privilege thus accorded him. Indeed, Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's æsthetic designer held such pronounced views oninterior decoration, and had expressed them so freely to Elkan andYetta, that after the first half-hour of his visit the esteem which theyhad always felt toward their plush furniture and Wilton rugs hadchanged--first to indifference and then, in the case of Yetta, at least, to loathing. 

"I always told you that the couch over there was hideous, Elkan, " Yettasaid. 

"Hideous it ain't, " Max interrupted; "_aber_ it ain't so beautiful. "

"Well, stick the couch in the bedroom, then, " Elkan said. "It makes nodifference to me. "

"Sure, I know, " Yetta exclaimed: "but what would we put in its place?"

Elkan shrugged his shoulders. 

"What d'ye ask me for?" Elkan cried. "Like as not I'd say anothercouch. "

"There is couches and couches, " Max said with an apologetic smile, "butif you would ask my advice I would say why not a couple nice chairsthere--something in monhogany, like Shippendaler _oder_ Sheratin. "

Suddenly he slapped his thigh in an access of inspiration. 

"I came pretty near forgetting!" he cried. "I got the very thing youwant--and a big bargain too! Do you know Louis Dishkes, which runs theVilly dee Paris Store in Amsterdam Avenue?"

"I think I know him, " Elkan said with ironic emphasis. "He owes us fourhundred dollars for two months already. "

"Well, Dishkes is got a brother-in-law by the name Ringentaub, on AllenStreet, which he is a dealer in antics. "

"Antics?" Elkan exclaimed. 

"Sure!" Max explained. "Antics--old furniture and old silver. "

"You mean a second-hand store?" Elkan suggested. 

"Not a second-hand store, " Max declared. "A second-hand store is got oldfurniture from two years old _oder_ ten years old, understand me; _aber_an antic store carries old furniture from a hundred years old already. "

"And this here Ringentaub is got furniture from a hundred years oldalready?" Elkan cried. 

"From older even, " answered Max; "from two hundred and fifty years oldalso. "

"_Ich glaub's!_" Elkan cried. 

"You can believe it _oder_ not, Mr. Lubliner, " Max continued; "butRingentaub got in his store a couple Jacobean chairs, which they are twohundred and fifty years old already. And them chairs you could buy at abig sacrifice yet. "

Elkan and Yetta exchanged puzzled glances, and Elkan even tapped hisforehead significantly. 

"They was part of a whole set, " Max went on, not noticing his employer'sgesture; "the others Ringentaub sold to a collector. "

Elkan flipped his right hand. 

"A collector is something else again, " he said; "but me I ain't nocollector, Max, _Gott sei Dank_! I got my own business, Max, and I ain'tgot to buy from two hundred and fifty years old furniture. "

"Why not?" Max asked. "B. Gans is got his own business, too, Mr. Lubliner, and a good business also; and he buys yet from Ringentaub--only lastweek already--an angry cat cabinet which it is three hundred years oldalready. "

"An angry cat cabinet?" Elkan exclaimed. 

"That's what I said, " Max continued; "'angry' is French for 'Henry' and'cat' is French for 'fourth'; so this here cabinet was made threehundred years ago when Henry the Fourth was king of France--and B. Gansbuys it last week already for five hundred dollars!"

Therewith Max commenced a half-hour dissertation upon antique furniturewhich left Yetta and Elkan more undecided than ever. 

"And you are telling me that big people like B. Gans and Andrew Carnegiebuys this here antics for their houses?" Elkan asked. 

"J. P. Morgan also, " Max replied. "And them Jacobean chairs there youcould get for fifty dollars already. "

"Well, it wouldn't do no harm supposing we would go down and see 'em, "Yetta suggested. 

"Some night next week, " Elkan added, "_oder_ the week after. "

"For that matter, we could go to-night too, " Max rejoined. "Sunday islike any other night down on Allen Street, and you got to remember thatJacobean chairs is something which you couldn't get whenever you want'em. Let me tell you just what they look like. "

Here he descanted so successfully on the beauty of Jacobean furniturethat Yetta added her persuasion to his, and Elkan at length surrendered. 

"All right, " he said. "First we would have a little something to eat andthen we would go down there. "

Hence, a few minutes after eight that evening they alighted at theSpring Street subway station; and Max Merech piloted Elkan and Yettabeneath elevated railroads and past the windows of brass shops, withtheir gleaming show of candlesticks and samovars, to a little basementstore near the corner of Rivington Street. 

"It don't look like much, " Max apologized as he descended the few stepsleading to the entrance; "_aber_ he's got an elegant stock inside. "

When he opened the door a trigger affixed to the door knocked against arusty bell, but no one responded. Instead, from behind a partition inthe rear came sounds of an angry dispute; and as Elkan closed the doorbehind him one of the voices rose higher than the rest. 

"Take my life--take my blood, Mr. Sammet!" it said; "because I am makingyou the best proposition I can, and that's all there is to it. "

Max was about to stamp his foot when Elkan laid a restraining hand onhis shoulder; and, in the pause that followed, the heavy, almosthysterical breathing of the last speaker could be heard in the front ofthe store. 

"I don't want your life _oder_ your blood, Dishkes, " came the answer inbass tones, which Elkan recognized as the voice of his competitor, LeonSammet. "I am your heaviest creditor, and all I want is that you shouldprotect me. "

"I know you are my heaviest creditor, " Louis Dishkes replied. "To mysorrow I know it! If it wouldn't be for your rotten stickers which I gotin my place, might I would be doing a good business there to-day, maybe!"

"_Schmooes_, Dishkes!" Sammet replied. "The reason you didn't done agood business there is that you ain't no business man, Dishkes--andanyhow, Dishkes, it don't do no good you should insult me!"

"What d'ye mean insult you?" Dishkes cried angrily. "I ain't insultingyou, Sammet. You are insulting me. You want me I should protect you andlet my other creditors go to the devil--ain't it? What d'ye take mefor--a crook?"

"That's all right, " Sammet declared. "I wouldn't dandy words with you, Dishkes. For the last time I am asking you: Will you take advantage ofthe offer I am getting for you from the Mercantile Outlet Company, ofNashville, for your entire stock? Otherwise I would got nothing more tosay to you. "

There was a sound of scuffling feet as the party in the rear of thestore rose from their chairs. 

"You ain't got no need to say nothing more to me, Mr. Sammet, " Dishkesannounced firmly, "because I am through with you, Mr. Sammet. Youraccount ain't due till to-morrow, and you couldn't do nothing tillTuesday. Ain't it? So Tuesday morning early you should go ahead and sueme, and if I couldn't raise money to save myself I will go _mechullah_;but it'll be an honest _mechullah_, and that's all there is to it. "

As Dishkes finished speaking Elkan drew Max and Yetta into the shadowcast by a tall highboy; and, without noticing their presence, LeonSammet plunged toward the door and let himself out into the street. 

Immediately Elkan tiptoed to the door and threw it wide open, afterwhich he shuffled his feet with sufficient noise to account for theentrance of three people. Thereat Ringentaub emerged from behind thepartition. 

"Hello, Ringentaub, " Max cried. "I am bringing you here some customers. "

Ringentaub bowed and coughed a warning to Dishkes and Mrs. Ringentaub, who continued to talk in hoarse whispers behind the partition. 

"What's the matter, Ringentaub?" Max Merech asked; "couldn't you affordit here somehow a little light?"

Ringentaub reached into the upper darkness and turned on a gas jet whichhad been burning a blue point of flame. 

"I keep it without light here on purpose, " he said, "on account Sundaysis a big night for the candlestick fakers up the street and I don't wantto be bothered with their trade. What could I show your friends, Mr. Merech?"

Max winked almost imperceptibly at Elkan and prepared to approach thesubject of the Jacobean chairs by a judicious detour. 

"Do you got maybe a couple Florentine frames, Ringentaub?" he asked; andRingentaub shook his head. 

"Florentine frames is hard to find nowadays, Mr. Merech, " he said; "andI guess I told it you Friday that I ain't got none. "

Elkan shrugged his shoulders and smiled. 

"I thought might you would of picked up a couple since then, maybe, " Maxrejoined, glancing round him. "You got a pretty nice highboy over there, Ringentaub, for a reproduction. "

Ringentaub nodded satirically. 

"That only goes to show how much you know about such things, Mr. Merech, " he retorted, "when you are calling reproductions somethingwhich it is a gen-wine Shippendaler, understand me, in elegantcondition. "

It was now Elkan's turn to nod, and he did so with just the rightdegree of skepticism as at last he broached the object of his visit. 

"I suppose, " he said, "that them chairs over there is also gen-wineJacobean chairs?"

 * * * * *

"I'll tell you what I'll do with you, Mr. Merech, " Ringentaub declared. "You could bring down here any of them good Fourth Avenue or FifthAvenue dealers, understand me, or any conoozer you want to name, likeJacob Paul, _oder_ anybody, y'understand; and if they would say themchairs ain't gen-wine Jacobean I'll make 'em a present to you free fornothing. "

"I ain't _schnorring_ for no presents, Mr. Ringentaub, " Max declared. "Bring 'em out in the light and let's give a look at 'em. "

Ringentaub drew the chairs into the centre of the floor, and placingthem beneath the gas jet he stepped backward and tilted his head to oneside in silent admiration. 

"_Nu_, Mr. Merech, " he said at last, "am I right or am I wrong? Is thechairs gen-wine _oder_ not? I leave it to your friends here. "

Max turned to Elkan, who had been edging away toward the partition, fromwhich came scraps of conversation between Dishkes and Mrs. Ringentaub. 

"What do you think, Mr. Lubliner?" Max asked; and Elkan frowned hisannoyance at the interruption, for he had just begun to catch a fewwords of the conversation in the rear room. 

"Sure--sure!" he said absently. "I leave it to you and Mrs. Lubliner. "

Yetta's face had fallen as she viewed the apparently decayed and ricketyfurniture. 

"Ain't they terrible shabby-looking!" she murmured, and Ringentaubshrugged his shoulders and smiled. 

"You would look shabby, too, lady, " he said, "if you would be twohundred and fifty years old; _aber_ if you want to see what they looklike after they are restored, y'understand, I got back there one of therest of the set which I already sold to Mr. Paul; and I am fixing it upfor him. "

As he finished speaking he walked to the rear and dragged forward areseated and polished duplicate of the two chairs. 

"I dassent restore 'em before I sell 'em, " Ringentaub explained;"otherwise no one believes they are gen-wine. "

"And how much do you say you want for them chairs, Ringentaub?" Maxasked. 

"I didn't say I wanted nothing, " Ringentaub replied. "The fact is, Idon't know whether I want to keep them chairs _oder_ not. You see, Mr. Merech, Jacobean chairs is pretty near so rare nowadays that it wouldpay me to wait a while. In a couple of years them chairs double in valuealready. "

"Sure, I know, " Max said. "You could say the same thing about your wholestock, Ringentaub; and so, if I would be you, Ringentaub, I would take alittle vacation of a couple years or so. Go round the world _mit_ Mrs. Ringentaub, understand me, and by the time you come back you are worthtwicet as much as you got to-day; but just to help pay your rent whileyou are away, Mr. Ringentaub, I'll make you an offer of thirty-fivedollars for the chairs. "

Ringentaub seized a chair in each hand and dragged them noisily to oneside. 

"As I was saying, " he announced, "I ain't got no Florentine frames, Mr. Merech; so I am sorry we couldn't do no business. "

"Well, then, thirty-seven-fifty, Mr. Ringentaub, " Max continued; andRingentaub made a flapping gesture with both hands. 

"Say, lookyhere, " he growled, "what is the use talking nonsense, Mr. Merech? For ten dollars apiece you could get on Twenty-thirdStreet a couple chairs, understand me, made in some big factory, y'understand--A-Number-One pieces of furniture--which would suit youa whole lot better as gen-wine pieces. These here chairs is forconoozers, Mr. Merech; so, if you want any shiny candlesticks _oder_Moskva samovars from brass-spinners on Center Street, y'understand, acouple doors uptown you would find plenty fakers. _Aber_ here is allgen-wine stuff, y'understand; and for gen-wine stuff you got to payfull price, understand me, which if them chairs stays in my storetill they are five hundred years old already I wouldn't take a centless for 'em as fifty dollars. "

Max turned inquiringly to Mrs. Lubliner; and, during the short pausethat followed, the agonized voice of Louis Dishkes came once more fromthe back room. 

"What could I do?" he said to Mrs. Ringentaub. "I want to be square_mit_ everybody, and I must got to act quick on account that suckerSammet will close me up sure. "

"_Ai, tzuris!_" Mrs. Ringentaub moaned; at which her husband coughednoisily and Elkan moved nearer to the partition. 

"Would you go as high as fifty dollars, Mrs. Lubliner?" Max asked, andYetta nodded. 

"All right, Mr. Ringentaub, " Max concluded; "we'll take 'em at fiftydollars. "

"And you wouldn't regret it neither, " Ringentaub replied. "I'll make youout a bill right away. "

He darted into the rear room and slammed the partition door behind him. 

"_Koosh_, Dishkes!" he hissed. "Ain't you got no sense at all--blabbingout your business in front of all them strangers?"

It was at this juncture that Elkan rapped on the door. 

"Excuse me, Mr. Ringentaub, " he said, "but I ain't no stranger to Mr. Dishkes--not by four hundred dollars already. "

He opened the door as he spoke, and Dishkes, who was sitting at a tablewith his head bowed on his hands, looked up mournfully. 

"_Nu_, Mr. Lubliner!" he said. "You are after me, too, ain't it?"

Elkan shook his head. 

"Not only I ain't after you, Dishkes, " he said, "but I didn't even knowyou was in trouble until just now. "

"And you never would of known, " Ringentaub added, "if he ain't been sucha _dummer Ochs_ and listened to people's advice. He got a good chance tosell out, and he wouldn't took it. "

"Sure, I know, " Elkan said, "to an auction house; the idee being to runaway _mit_ the proceeds and leave his creditors in the lurches!"

Dishkes again buried his head in his hands, while Ringentaub blushedguiltily. 

"That may be all right in the antic business, Mr. Ringentaub, " Elkanwent on, "but in the garment business we ain't two hundred and fiftyyears behind the times exactly. We got associations of manufacturers andwe got good lawyers, too, understand me; and we get right after crookslike Sammet, just the same as some of us helps out retailers that wantto be decent, like Dishkes here. "

Louis Dishkes raised his head suddenly. 

"Then you heard the whole thing?" he cried; and Elkan nodded. 

"I heard enough, Dishkes, " he said; "and if you want my help you couldcome down to my place to-morrow morning at ten o'clock. "

At this juncture the triggered bell rang loudly, and raising his handfor silence Ringentaub returned to the store. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Paul!" he said. 

He addressed a broad-shouldered figure arrayed in the height of CanalStreet fashion. 

Aside from his clothing, however, there was little to betray theconnoisseur of fine arts and antiques in the person of Jacob Paul, whopossessed the brisk, businesslike manner and steel-blue eyes of adetective sergeant. 

"Hello, Ringentaub!" he said. "You are doing a rushing businesshere--ain't it? More customers in the back room too?"

He glanced sharply at the open doorway in the partition, through whichElkan and Dishkes could be seen engaged in earnest conversation. 

"_Yow_--customers!" Ringentaub exclaimed. "You know how it is in theantic business, Mr. Paul. For a hundred that looks, understand me, onebuys; and that one, Mr. Paul, he comes into your place a dozen timesbefore he makes up his mind yet. "

"Well, " Paul said with a smile, "I've made up my mind at last, Ringentaub, and I'll take them other two chairs at forty-five dollars. "

Ringentaub nodded his head slowly. 

"I thought you would, Mr. Paul, " he said; "but just the same you are alittle late, on account this here gentleman already bought 'em for fiftydollars. "

A shade of disappointment passed over Paul's face as he turned to MaxMerech. 

"I congratulate you, Mister----"

"Merech, " Max suggested. 

"Merech, " Paul continued. "You paid a high price for a couple of goodpieces. "

"I ain't paying nothing, " Max replied. "I bought 'em for this lady hereand her husband. "

It was then that Jacob Paul for the first time noticed Yetta's presence, and he bowed apologetically. 

"Is he also a collector?" he asked, and Max shook his head. 

"He's in the garment business, " Yetta volunteered, "for himself. "

A puzzled expression wrinkled Paul's flat nose. 

"I guess I ain't caught the name, " he said. 

"Lubliner, " Yetta replied; "Elkan Lubliner, of Polatkin, Scheikowitz &Company. "

"You don't tell me?" Jacob Paul said. "And so Mr. Lubliner is interestedin antiques. That's quite a jump, from cloaks and suits to antiquesalready. "

"Well, " Merech explained, "Mr. Lubliner is refurnishing his house. "

"Maybe, " Elkan added as he appeared in the doorway of the partition, followed by Dishkes and Mrs. Ringentaub. "Buying a couple pieces offurniture is one thing, Merech, and refurnishing your house is another. "

"You made a good start anyhow, " Paul interrupted. "A couple chairs likethem gives a tone to a room which is got crayon portraits hanging in iteven. "

Yetta blushed in the consciousness of what she had always considered tobe a fine likeness of Elkan's grandfather--the Lubliner _Rav_--whichhung in a silver-and-plush frame over the mantelpiece of the Lublinerfront parlour. Elkan was unashamed, however, and he glared angrily atthe connoisseur, who had started to leave the store. 

"I suppose, " he cried, "it ain't up to date that a feller shouldhave hanging in his flat a portrait of his grandfather--_olavhasholem!_--which he was a learned man and a _Tzadek_, if there everwas one. "

Paul hesitated, with his hand on the doorknob. 

"I'll tell you, Mr. Lubliner, " he said solemnly; "to me a crayonportrait is rotten, understand me, if it would be of a _Tzadek oder_ amurderer. "

And with a final bow to Mrs. Lubliner he banged the door behind him. 

"Well, what d'ye think for a _Rosher_ like that?" Elkan exclaimed. 

"The fellow is disappointed that you got ahead of him buying the chairs, Mr. Lubliner, " Ringentaub explained; "so he takes a chance that you andMrs. Lubliner is that kind of people which is got hanging in the parlourcrayon portraits, understand me, and he knocks you for it. "

Elkan shrugged his shoulders. 

"What could you expect from a feller which is content at fifty years ofage to be a collector only?" he asked, and Dishkes noddedsympathetically. 

"I bet yer, Mr. Lubliner, " he agreed; "and so I would be at your storeto-morrow morning at ten o'clock sure. "

 * * * * *

"I don't doubt your word for a minute, Elkan, " Marcus Polatkin said thefollowing morning when Elkan related to him the events of the precedingnight; "_aber_ you couldn't blame Sammet none. Concerns like SammetBrothers, which they are such dirty crooks that everybody is gotsuspicions of 'em, y'understand, must got to pay their bills prompt tothe day, Elkan; because if they wouldn't be themselves good collectors, understand me, they would bust up quick. "

"Sammet Brothers ain't in no danger of busting up, " Elkan declared. 

"Ain't they?" Marcus rejoined. "Well, you would be surprised, Elkan, ifI would tell you that only yesterday already I am speaking to a fellerby the name Hirsch, which works for years by the Hamsuckett Mills ascity salesman, understand me, and he says that the least Sammet Brothersowes them people is ten thousand dollars. "

"That shows what a big business they must do, " Elkan said. 

"_Yow_--a big business!" Marcus concluded. "This here Hirsch says notonly Sammet Brothers' business falls off something terrible, y'understand, but they are also getting to be pretty slow pay; and if itwouldn't be that the Hamsuckett people is helping 'em along, _verstehstdu_, they would of gone up _schon_ long since already. "

"And a good job too, " Elkan said. "The cloak-and-suit trade could worryalong without 'em, Mr. Polatkin; but anyhow, Mr. Polatkin, I ain'tconcerned with Sammet Brothers. The point is this: Dishkes says he hasgot a good stand there on Amsterdam Avenue, and if he could only hold ona couple months longer he wouldn't got no difficulty in pullingthrough. "

Polatkin shrugged his shoulders. 

"For my part, " he said, "it wouldn't make no difference if Dishkesbusts up now _oder_ two months from now. "

"But the way he tells me yesterday, " Elkan replied, "not only hewouldn't got to bust up on us if he gets his two months' extension, buthe says he would be doing a good business at that time. "

Polatkin nodded skeptically. 

"Sure, I know, Elkan, " he said. "If everybody which is asking anextension would do the business they hope to do before the extension isup, Elkan, " he said, "all the prompt-pay fellows must got to close upshop on account there wouldn't be enough business to go round. "

"Well, anyhow, " Elkan rejoined, "he's coming here to see us thismorning, Mr. Polatkin, and he could show you how he figures it that he'sgot hopes to pull through. "

Polatkin made a deprecatory gesture with his hand. 

"If a feller is going to bust up on me, Elkan, I'd just as lief he ain'tgot no hopes at all, " he grumbled; "otherwise he wastes your whole dayon you figuring out his next season's profits if he can only stall offhis creditors. With such a hoping feller, if you don't want to be outtime as well as money, understand me, you should quick file a petitionin bankruptcy against him; otherwise he wouldn't give you no peace atall. "

Nevertheless, when Dishkes arrived, half an hour later, Polatkinushered him into the firm's office and summoned Scheikowitz and Elkan tothe conference. 

"Well, Dishkes, " he said in kindly accents, "you are up against it. "

Dishkes nodded. He was by no means of a robust physical type, and hishands trembled so nervously as he fumbled for his papers in his breastpocket that he dropped its contents on the office floor. Elkan stoopedto assist in retrieving the scattered papers, and among the documents hegathered together was a cabinet photograph. 

"My wife!" Dishkes murmured hoarsely. "She ain't so strong, and I amsending her up to the country a couple months ago. I've been meaning Ishould go up and see her ever since, but----"

Here he gulped dismally; and there was an embarrassed silence, brokenonly by the faint noise occasioned by Philip Scheikowitz scratching hischin. 

"That's a _Rosher_--that feller Sammet, " Polatkin said at length. "Honestly, the way some business men ain't got no mercy at all for theother feller, you would think, Scheikowitz, they was living back in theold country yet!"

Scheikowitz nodded and glanced nervously from the photograph to Elkan. 

"I think you was telling me you got a couple idees about helping Dishkesout, Elkan, " he said. "So, in the first place, Dishkes, you shouldplease let us see a list of your creditors. "

With this prelude Scheikowitz drew forward his chair and plunged into adiscussion of Dishkes' affairs that lasted for more than two hours; andwhen Dishkes at length departed he took with him notices of a meetingaddressed to his twenty creditors, prepared for immediate mailing byPolatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's stenographer. 

"And that's what we let ourselves in for, " Scheikowitz declared afterthe elevator door had closed behind Dishkes. "To-morrow morning ateleven o'clock the place here would look like the waiting room of adepot, and all our competitors would be rubbering at our stock already. "

"Let 'em rubber!" Elkan said. "If I don't get an extension for thatfeller my name ain't Elkan Lubliner at all; because between now and thenI am going round to see them twenty creditors, and I bet yer they willsign an extension agreement, with the figures I am going to put up tothem!"

"Figures!" Scheikowitz jeered. "What good is figures to them fellers?Showing figures to a bankrupt's creditors is like taking to a restauranta feller which is hungry and letting him look at the knives and forksand plates, understand me!"

Elkan nodded. 

"Sure, I know, " he said; "but the figures ain't all. "

Surreptitiously he drew from his pocket a faded cabinet photograph. 

"I sneaked this away from Dishkes when he wasn't noticing, " Elkandeclared; "and if this don't fix 'em nothing will!"

 * * * * *

"Say, lookyhere, Lubliner, " Leon Sammet cried after Elkan had broachedthe reason for his visit late that afternoon, "don't give me that taleof woe again. Every time we are asking Dishkes for money he pulls thishere sick-wife story on us, understand me; and it don't go down with meno more. "

"What d'ye mean don't go down with you?" Elkan demanded. "Do you claimhis wife ain't sick?"

"I don't claim nothing, " Sammet retorted. "I ain't no doctor, Lubliner. I am in the cloak-and-suit business, and I got to pay my creditors withUnited States money, Lubliner, if my wife would be dying yet. "

"Which you ain't got no wife, " Elkan added savagely. 

"_Gott sei Dank!_" Sammet rejoined. "_Aber_ if I did got one, y'understand, I would got _Verstand_ enough to pick out a healthy woman, which Dishkes does everything the same. He picks out a store there on anavenue when it is a dead neighbourhood, understand me--and he wants uswe should suffer for it. "

"The neighbourhood wouldn't be dead after three months, " Elkansaid. "Round the corner on both sides of the street is buildingthirty-three-foot, seven-story elevator apartments yet; and when theyare occupied, Dishkes would do a rushing business. "

"That's all right, " Sammet answered. "I ain't speculating in real-estatefutures, Lubliner; so you might just so well go ahead and attend to yourbusiness, Lubliner, because me I am going to do the same. "

"But lookyhere, Sammet, " Elkan still pleaded. "I seen pretty near everyone of Dishkes' creditors and they all agree the feller should have athree months' extension. "

"Let 'em agree, " Sammet shouted. "They are their own bosses and so am I, Lubliner; so if they want to give him an extension of their account Iain't got nothing to say. All I want is eight hundred dollars he owesme; and the rest of them suckers could agree till they are black in theface. "

"_Aber_, anyhow, Sammet, " Elkan said, "come to the meeting to-morrowmorning and we would see what we could do. "

"See what we could do!" Sammet bellowed. "You will see what I could do, Lubliner; and I will come to the meeting to-morrow and I'll do it too. So, if you don't mind, Lubliner, I could still do a little work beforewe close up here. "

For a brief interval Elkan dug his nails into the palms of his hands, and his eyes unconsciously sought a target for a right swing on Sammet'sbloated face; but at length he nodded and forced himself to smile. 

"_Schon gut_, Mr. Sammet, " he said; "then I will see you to-morrow. "

A moment later he strode down lower Fifth Avenue toward the place ofbusiness of the last creditor on Dishkes' list. This was none other thanElkan's distinguished friend, B. Gans, the manufacturer of high-gradedresses; and it required less than ten minutes to procure his consent tothe proposed extension. 

"And I hope, " Elkan said, "that we could count on you to be at themeeting to-morrow. "

"That's something I couldn't do, " B. Gans replied; "but I'll write you aletter and give you full authority you should represent me there. Excuseme a minute and I'll dictate it to Miss Scheindler. " When he returned, five minutes later, he sat down at his desk and, crossing his legs, prepared to beguile the tedium of waiting. 

"Well, Elkan, " he said, "what you been doing with yourself lately?Thee-aytres and restaurants, I suppose?"

"Thee-aytres I ain't so much interested in no more, " Elkan said. "Thefact is, I am going in now for antics. "

"Antics!" B. Gans exclaimed. 

"Sure, " Elkan replied; and there was a certain pride in his tones. "Antics is what I said, Mr. Gans--Jacobson chairs and them--now--cat'sfurniture. "

"Cat's furniture?" Gans repeated. "What d'ye mean cat's furniture?"

"Angry cats, " Elkan explained; and then a great light broke upon B. Gans. 

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "You mean Henri Quatre furniture?"

"Hungry cat _oder_ angry cat, " Elkan said. "All I know is we arerefurnishing our flat, Mr. Gans, and we are taking an advice from MaxMerech, our designer. It's a funny thing about that feller, Mr. Gans--with garments he is right up to the minute, _aber mit_ furniturenothing suits him unless it would be anyhow a hundred years old. "

"So you are buying some antique furniture for your flat?" B. Ganscommented, and Elkan nodded. 

"We made a start anyhow, " he said. "We bought a couple Jacobsonchairs--two hundred and fifty years old already. "

"Good!" B. Gans exclaimed. "I want to tell you, Elkan, you couldn't gofar wrong if you would buy any piece of furniture over a hundred yearsold. They didn't know how to make things ugly in them days--and Jacobeanchairs especially. I am furnishing my whole dining room in that periodand my library in Old French. It costs money, Elkan, but it's worthit. "

Elkan nodded and steered the conversation into safer channels; so thatby the time Miss Scheindler had brought in the letter they werediscussing familiar business topics. 

"Also, " Gans said as he appended his neat signature to the letter, "Iwish you and Dishkes luck, Elkan; and keep up the good work about theantique furniture. Even when you would get stuck with a reproductioninstead of a genuine piece once in a while, if it looks just as good asthe original and no one tells you differently, understand me, you feeljust as happy. "

Thus encouraged, Elkan went home that evening full of a determination toacquire all the antique furniture his apartment would hold; and he andYetta sat up until past midnight conning the pages of a heavy volume onthe subject, which Yetta had procured from the neighbouring publiclibrary. Accordingly Elkan rose late the following morning, and it wasalmost nine o'clock before he reached his office and observed on thevery top of his morning mail a slip of paper containing a message in thehandwriting of Sam, the office boy. 

"A man called about Jacobowitz, " it read, and Elkan immediately rang hisdeskbell. 

"What Jacobowitz is this?" he demanded as Sam entered, and the officeboy shrugged. 

"I should know!" he said. 

"What d'ye mean you should know?" Elkan cried. "Ain't I always told ityou you should write down always the name when people call?"

"Ain't Jacobowitz a name?" Sam replied. "Furthermore, you couldn'texpect me I should get the family history from everybody which is comingin the place, Mr. Lubliner--especially when the feller says he wouldcome back. "

"Why didn't you tell me he is coming back?" Elkan asked, and again Samshrugged. 

"When the feller is coming back, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "it don't makeno difference if I tell you _oder_ not. He would come back anyhow. "

Having thus disposed of the matter to his entire satisfaction, Samwithdrew and banged the door triumphantly behind him, while Elkan fellto examining his mail. He had hardly cut the first envelope, however, when his door opened to admit Dishkes. 

"_Nu_, Dishkes!" Elkan said. "You are pretty early, ain't it?"

Dishkes nodded. 

"I'm a _Schlemiel_, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "and that's all there is toit. Yesterday I went to work and lost my wife's picture. "

Elkan slapped his thigh with his hand. 

"Well, ain't I a peach?" he said. "I am getting so mixed up with thesehere antics I completely forgot to tell Yetta anything about it. Ididn't even show it to her, Dishkes; so you must leave me have it for aday longer, Dishkes. "

As he spoke he drew the cabinet photograph from his breast pocket andhanded it to Dishkes, who gazed earnestly at it for a minute. Then, resting his elbows on his knees, he buried his face in his hands andburst into a fit of hysterical sobbing, whereat Elkan jumped from hisseat and passed hurriedly out of the room. As he walked toward theshowroom the strains of a popular song came from behind a rack. 

"Sam, " he bellowed, "who asks you you should whistle round here?"

The whistling ceased and Sam emerged from his hiding-place with afeather brush. 

"I could whistle without being asked, " Sam replied; "and furthermore, Mr. Lubliner, when I am dusting the samples I must got to whistle;otherwise the dust gets in my lungs, which I value my lungs the samelike you do, Mr. Lubliner, even if I would be here only a boy working onstock!"

With this decisive rejoinder he resumed dusting the samples, while Elkanreturned to his office, where he found that Dishkes had regained hiscomposure. 

 * * * * *

Despite the fact that all of Dishkes' creditors save one had signed anextension agreement, the meeting in Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company'sshowroom was well attended; and when Leon Sammet came in, atquarter-past eleven, the assemblage had already elected Charles Finkman, of Maisener & Finkman, as chairman. He had just taken his seat in PhilipScheikowitz's new revolving chair and was in the act of noisily clearinghis throat in lieu of pounding the table with a gavel. 

"Gentlemen, " he said, "first, I want to thank you for the signal honouryou are doing me in appointing me your chairman. For sixteen years nowmy labours in the Independent Order Mattai Aaron ain't unknown to mostof you here. Ten years ago, at the national convention held inSarahcuse, gentlemen, I was unanimously elected by the delegates fromsixty lodges to be your National Grand Master; and----"

At this juncture Leon Sammet rose ponderously to his feet. 

"Say, Finkman!" retorted Sammet. "What has all this _Stuss_ about the I. O. M. A. Got to do _mit_ Dishkes here?"

Again Finkman cleared his throat, and this time he produced a note ofchallenge that caused the members of the I. O. M. A. There present tolean forward in their seats. They expected a crushing rejoinder and theywere not disappointed. 

"What is the motto of the I. O. M. A. , Sammet?" Finkman thundered. "'Justice, Fraternity and Charity!' And I say to you now that, aschairman of this meeting, as well as Past National Grand Master of thatnoble order to which you and I both belong, _verstehst du_, I will seethat justice be done, fraternity be encouraged and charity dispensed oneach and every occasion. 

"Now, my brothers, here is a fellow member of our organization indistress, y'understand; and I ask you one and all this question"--heraised his voice to a pitch that made the filaments tremble in theelectric-light bulbs--"Who, " he roared, "who will come to hisassistance?"

He paused dramatically just as Sam, the office boy, stuck his head inthe showroom doorway and rent the silence with his high, piping voice. 

"Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "the man is here about Jacobowitz. "

Elkan flapped his hand wildly, but it was too late to prevent theentrance of no less a person than Jacob Paul--the connoisseur ofantiques and fine arts. 

"Hello, Finkman!" he said; "what's the trouble here?"

Elkan started from his seat to interrupt his visitor, but there wassomething in Finkman's manner that made him sit down again. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Paul?" Finkman exclaimed; and the clarion notehad deserted his voice, leaving only a slight hoarseness to mark itspassing. "What brings you here?"

"I might ask the same of you, Finkman, " Jacob Paul replied; and as hiskeen eyes scanned the assembled company they rested for a minute on LeonSammet, who forthwith began to perspire. 

"The fact is, " Finkman began, "this here is a meeting of creditors ofLouis Dishkes, of the Villy dee Paris Store on Amsterdam Avenue. "

Paul turned to Louis Dishkes, proprietor of the Ville de Paris Store, who sat at the side of the room behind Scheikowitz's desk in animprovised prisoner's dock. 

"What's the matter, Dishkes?" Paul asked. "Couldn't you make it go upthere?"

Dishkes shrugged hopelessly. 

"Next month, when them houses round the corner is rented, " he said, "Icould do a good business there. "

"You ought to, " Paul agreed. "You ain't got no competitors, so far as Icould see. "

"That's what we all think!" Elkan broke in--"that is to say, all of usexcept Mr. Sammet; and he ain't willing to wait for his money. "

Leon Sammet moved uneasily in his chair as Jacob Paul faced about in hisdirection. 

"Why ain't you willing to wait, Sammet?" he asked; and Leon mopped hisface with his handkerchief. 

"Well, it's like this, Mr. Paul----" he began, but the connoisseur ofantiques raised his hand. 

"One moment, Sammet, " he said. "You know as well as anybody else, andbetter even, that a millionaire concern like the Hamsuckett Mills mustgot to wait once in a while. " He paused significantly. "If we didn't, "he continued, "there's plenty of solvent concerns would be forced to thewall--ain't it? Furthermore, if the Hamsuckett Mills did business theway you want to, Sammet, I wouldn't keep my job as credit man andtreasurer very long. "

Sammet nodded weakly and plied his handkerchief with more vigour, whileElkan sat and stared at his acquaintance of Sunday night in unfeignedastonishment. 

"Then what is the use of talking, Sammet?" Paul said. "So long as youare the only one standing out, why don't you make an end of it? How longan extension does Dishkes want?"

"Two months, " Finkman answered. 

"And where is the agreement you fellows all signed?" Paul continued. 

Elkan took a paper from the desk in front of Dishkes and passed it toPaul, who drew from his waistcoat pocket an opulent gold-mountedfountain pen. Then he walked over to Leon Sammet and handed him the penand the agreement. 

"_Schreib_, Sammet, " he said, "and don't make no more fuss about it. "

A moment later Sammet appended a shaky signature to the agreement andreturned it, with the pen, to Paul. 

A quarter of an hour later Jacob Paul sat in Elkan's office and smokedone of Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company's best cigars. 

"Now I put it up to you, Lubliner, " he said: "them Jacobean chairs arepretty high at fifty dollars, but I want 'em, and I'm willing to giveyou sixty for 'em. "

Elkan smiled and made a wide gesture with both hands. 

"My dear Mr. Paul, " he said, "after what you done to-day for DishkesI'll make you a present of 'em--free for nothing. "

"No, you won't do no such thing, " Paul declared; "because I'm going tosell 'em again and at a profit, as I may as well tell you. "

"My worries what you are going to do with 'em!" Elkan declared. "But onething I ain't going to do, Mr. Paul--I ain't going to make no profit onyou; so go ahead and take the chairs at what I paid for 'em--and that'sthe best I could do for you. "

It required no further persuasion for Jacob Paul to draw a fifty-dollarcheck to Elkan's order; and as he rose to leave Elkan pressed his handwarmly. 

"Come up and see me, Mr. Paul, when we get through refurnishing, " hesaid. "I promise you you would see a flat furnished to your taste--nocrayon portraits nor nothing. "

 * * * * *

It was late in the afternoon when Elkan's office door opened to admitSam, the office boy. 

"Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "another feller is here about thishere--now--Jacobowitz. "

Elkan glanced through the half-open door and recognized the figure ofRingentaub, the antiquarian. 

"Tell him to come in, " he said; and a moment later Ringentaub waswringing Elkan's hand and babbling his gratitude for hisbrother-in-law's deliverance from bankruptcy. 

"God will bless you for it, Mr. Lubliner, " he said; "and I am ashamed ofmyself when I think of it. I am a dawg, Mr. Lubliner--and that's allthere is to it. "

Here he drew a greasy wallet from his breast-pocket and extracted threeten-dollar bills. 

"Take 'em, Mr. Lubliner, " he said, "and forgive me. "

He pressed the bills into Elkan's hand. 

"What's this?" Elkan demanded. 

"That's the change from your fifty dollars, " Ringentaub replied;"because, so help me, Mr. Lubliner, there is first-class material inthem chairs and the feller that makes 'em for me is a highgradecabinetmaker. Then you got to reckon it stands me in a couple of dollarsalso to get 'em fixed up antique, y'understand; so, if you get themchairs for twenty dollars you are buying a bargain, Mr. Lubliner. "

"Why, what d'ye mean?" Elkan cried. "Ain't them chairs gen-wine Jacobeanchairs?"

"Not by a whole lot they ain't, " Ringentaub declared fervently. 

"But Mr. Paul thinks they are!" Elkan exclaimed. 

"Sure, I know, " Ringentaub answered; "and that shows what a lot acollector knows about such things. Paul is a credit man for theHamsuckett Mills, Mr. Lubliner; but he collects old furniture on theside. "

For a moment Elkan gazed open-mouthed at the antiquarian and a greatlight began to break in on him. 

"So-o-o!" he cried. "That's what you mean by a collector!"

Ringentaub nodded. 

"And furthermore, Mr. Lubliner, when collectors knows more aboutantiques as dealers does, Mr. Lubliner, " he said with his hand on thedoorknob, "I'll go into the woollen piece-goods business too--which youcould take it from me, Mr. Lubliner, it wouldn't be soon, by a hundredyears even. "

 * * * * *

When Elkan emerged from the One-Hundred-and-Sixteenth Street station ofthe subway that evening a familiar voice hailed him from the rear. 

"_Nu_, Elkan!" cried B. Gans, for it was none other than he. "You madeout fine at the meeting this morning--ain't it?"

"Who told you?" Elkan asked as he linked arms with the highgrademanufacturer. 

"Never mind who told me, " B. Gans said jokingly; "but all I could say isyou made a tremendous hit with Jacob Paul, Elkan--and if that ain't nocompliment, understand me, I don't know what is. Why, there ain't abetter judge of men _oder_ antique furniture in this here city thanPaul, Elkan. He's an A-Number-One credit man, too, and I bet yer he getsa big salary from them Hamsuckett Mills people, which the least hisincome could be--considering what he picks up selling antiques--isfifteen thousand a year. "

"Does Paul sell all the antiques he collects?" Elkan asked. 

"Does he?" B. Gans rejoined. "Well, I should say he does! Myself Ibought from him in the past two weeks half a dozen chairs, understandme--four last week and two to-day--which I am paying him five hundreddollars for the lot. They're worth it, too, Elkan. I never seen finerexamples of the period. "

"But are you sure they're gen-wine?" Elkan asked as they reached theentrance to his apartment house. 

"Paul says they are, " B. Gans answered, slapping Elkan's shoulder infarewell; "and if he's mistaken, Elkan, then I'm content that I shouldbe. "

Two hours later, however, after Elkan had recounted to Yetta all theincidents of Dishkes' meeting and the resulting sale of the chairs, hisconscience smote him. 

"What d'ye think, Yetta?" he asked. "Should I tell Paul and Gans thechairs ain't gen-wine, _oder_ not?"

For more than ten minutes Yetta wrinkled her forehead over this knottyethical point; then she delivered her opinion. 

"Mr. Gans tells you he is just as happy if they ain't gen-wine--ain'tit?" she said. 

Elkan nodded. 

"And Mr. Paul acted honest, because he didn't know they wasn't gen-wineneither, ain't it?" she continued. 

Again Elkan nodded. 

"Then, " Yetta declared, "if you are taking it so particular as all that, Elkan, there's only one thing for you to do--give me the thirtydollars!"

"Is that so!" Elkan exclaimed ironically. "And what will you do with themoney?"

"The only thing I can do with it, _Schlemiel_, " she said. "Ten dollars Iwill give Louis Dishkes he should take a trip up to the country overSunday and visit his wife. "

"And what will we do with the other twenty?" Elkan asked. 

"We'll send a present with him to Mrs. Dishkes, " Yetta concluded with asmile, "and it wouldn't be no antics neither!"

CHAPTER SEVEN

SWEET AND SOUR

ARE THE USES OF COMPETITIVE SALESMANSHIP

"_Aber_ me and Yetta is got it all fixed up we would go to Mrs. Kotlin'salready, " Elkan Lubliner protested as he mopped his forehead one hotTuesday morning in July. "The board there is something elegant, Mr. Scheikowitz. Everybody says so. "

"_Yow!_ everybody!" Philip Scheikowitz retorted. "Who is everybody, Elkan? A couple drummers like Marks Pasinsky, one or two real estaters, understand me, and the rest of 'em is wives from J to L retailers, thirdcredit, which every time their husbands comes down to spend Sunday with'em, y'understand, he must pretty near got to pawn the shirt from hisback for car fare already. "

"Scheikowitz is right, Elkan, " Marcus Polatkin joined in. "A fellershouldn't make a god from his stomach, Elkan, especially when moneydon't figure at all, so if you would be going down to Egremont Beach, understand me, there's only one place you should stay, y'understand, andthat's the New Salisbury. "

"Which if you wouldn't take our word for it, Elkan, " Scheikowitz added, "just give a look here. "

He drew from his coat pocket the summer resort section of the previousday's paper and thrust it toward his junior partner, indicating as hedid so a half column headed:

 MIDSEASON GAIETY AT EGREMONT BEACH

which reads as follows:

 The season is in full swing here. 

 On Saturday night Mr. And Mrs. Bernard Gans gave a Chinese Lantern Dinner in the Hanging Gardens at which were present Mr. And Mrs. Sam Feder, Mr. And Mrs. Max Koblin, Mr. And Mrs. Henry D. Feldman, Mr. Jacob Scharley and Miss Hortense Feldman. 

 Among those who registered Friday at the New Salisbury were Mr. Jacob Scharley of San Francisco, Mr. And Mrs. Sol Klinger, Mr. Leon Sammet and his mother, Mrs. Leah Sammet. 

"I thought that Leon's brother Barney was staying down at Egremont, "Polatkin said after he and Elkan had read the item. 

"Barney is at Mrs. Kotlin's, " Scheikowitz explained, "because _mit_ LeonSammet, Polatkin, nothing is too rotten for Barney to stay at, andbesides he thinks Barney would get a little _small_ business there, which the way Sammet Brothers figures, understand me, if they couldstick a feller with three bills of goods for a couple hundred dollarsapiece, y'understand, so long as he pays up on the first two, hecouldn't eat up their profits if he would bust up on 'em _mit_ thethird. "

"Sure I know, " Elkan said, "_aber_ I ain't going down to Egremont forbusiness, Mr. Scheikowitz, I'm going because it ain't so warm downthere. "

"_Schmooes_, Elkan!" Scheikowitz retorted. "It wouldn't make it not onedegrees warmer in Egremont supposing you could get a couple new accountsdown there. "

"B. Gans don't take it so particular about the weather, " Polatkincommented. "I bet yer he would a whole lot sooner take off his coat andshirt and _spiel_ a little auction pinocle _mit_ Sol Klinger and LeonSammet and all them fellers as be giving dinners already in a tuxedosuit to Sam Feder. I bet yer he gets a fine accommodation from theKosciusko Bank out of that dinner yet. "

"The other people also he ain't _schencking_ no dinners to 'em fornothing neither, " Scheikowitz declared. "Every one of 'em meanssomething to B. Gans, I bet yer. "

Elkan nodded. 

"Particularly Scharley, " he said. 

"What d'ye mean, particularly Scharley?" Polatkin and Scheikowitzinquired with one voice. 

"Why, ain't you heard about Scharley?" Elkan asked. "It's right there inthe _Daily Cloak and Suit Journal_. "

He indicated the front sheet of that newsy trade paper, where under theheading of "Incorporations" appeared the following item:

 The Scharley, Oderburg Drygoods Company, San Francisco, Cal. , has filed articles of incorporation, giving its capital stock as $500, 000, and expects to open its new store in September next. 

"And you are talking about staying by Mrs. Kotlin's!" Scheikowitzexclaimed in injured tones. "You should ought to be ashamed of yourself, Elkan. "

Elkan received his senior partner's upbraiding with a patient smile. 

"What show do we stand against a concern like B. Gans?" he asked. 

"B. Gans sells him only highgrade goods, Elkan, " Scheikowitz declared. "I bet yer the least the feller buys is for twenty thousand dollarsgarments here, and a good half would be popular price lines, which if wewould get busy, we stand an elegant show there, Elkan. "

"You should ought to go down there to-morrow yet, " Polatkin cried, "because the first thing you know Leon Sammet would entertain him _mit_oitermobiles yet, and Sol Klinger gets also busy, understand me, and theconsequences is we wouldn't be in it at all. "

"Next Saturday is the earliest Yetta could get ready, " Elkan repliedpositively, and Polatkin strode up and down the floor in an access ofdespair. 

"All right, Elkan, " he said, "if you want to let such an opportunityslip down your fingers, y'understand, all right. _Aber_ if I would beyou, Elkan, I would go down there to-night yet. "

Elkan shrugged his shoulders. 

"I couldn't get Yetta she should close up the flat under the very least_two_ days, Mr. Polatkin, " he said. "She must got to fix everything justright, _mit_ moth-camphor and _Gott weisst was nach_, otherwise shewouldn't go at all. The rugs alone takes a whole day to fix. "

"Do as you like, Elkan, " Polatkin declared, "_aber_ you mark my words, if Leon Sammet ain't shoving heaven and earth right now, y'understand, Idon't know nothing about the garment business at all. "

In fulfilment of this prophecy, when Elkan entered his office thefollowing morning Polatkin waved in his face a copy of the morningpaper. 

"Well, " he said, "what did I told you, Elkan?"

Scheikowitz nodded slowly. 

"My partner is right, Elkan, " he added, "so stubborn you are. "

"What's the matter now?" Elkan asked, and for answer Polatkin handed himthe paper with his thumb pressed against a paragraph as follows:

 Mr. And Mrs. Sam Feder, Mr. And Mrs. Max Koblin, Mr. And Mrs. Henry D. Feldman, Miss Hortense Feldman, and Mr. Jacob Scharley were guests of Mr. Leon Sammet at a Chinese Lantern Dinner this evening given in the Hanging Gardens of the New Salisbury. 

"I thought it would be at the least an oitermobile ride, " Polatkin saidin melancholy tones, "but with that sucker all he could do is stealing acompetitor's idees. B. Gans gives Scharley a dinner and Leon Sammet isgot to do it, too, _mit_ the same guests and everything. "

"Even to Feldman's sister already, " Scheikowitz added, "which it must bethat Feldman is trying to marry her off to Scharley even if he would bea widower _mit_ two sons in college. She's a highly educated young lady, too. "

"Young she ain't no longer, " Polatkin interrupted, "and if a girlcouldn't cook even a pertater, understand me, it don't make nodifference if she couldn't cook it in six languages, y'understand, Feldman would got a hard job marrying her off _anyhow_. "

Scheikowitz made an impatient gesture with both hands, suggestive of adog swimming. 

"That's neither here or there, Polatkin, " he said. "The point is Elkanshould go right uptown and _geschwind_ pack his grip and be down at theSalisbury this afternoon yet, if Yetta would be ready _oder_ not. Wecouldn't afford to let the ground grow under our feet and that's allthere is _to_ it. "

Thus, shortly after six o'clock that evening, Elkan and Yetta alightedfrom the 5:10 special from Flatbush Avenue and picked their way througha marital throng that kissed and embraced with as much ardour as thoughthe reunion had concluded a parting of ten years instead of ten hours. At length the happy couples dragged themselves apart and crowded intothe automobile 'bus of the New Salisbury, sweeping Elkan and Yettabefore them, so that when the 'bus arrived at the hotel Elkan and Yettawere the last to descend. 

A burly yellow-faced porter seized the baggage with the contemptuousmanner that Ham nowadays evinces toward Shem, and Elkan and Yettafollowed him through the luxurious social hall to the desk. There theroom clerk immediately shot out a three-carat diamond ring, and whenElkan's eyes became accustomed to the glare he saw that beneath it was afat white hand extended in cordial greeting. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Williams, " Elkan cried, as he shook handsfervently. "Ain't you in the Pitt House, Sarahcuse, no more?"

"I'm taking a short vacation in a sensible manner, Mr. Lubliner, " Mr. Williams replied in the rounded tones that only truly great actors, clergymen, and room clerks possess. "Which means that I am interested ina real-estate development near here, and I'm combining business withpleasure for a couple of months. "

Elkan nodded admiringly. 

"You got the right idee, Mr. Williams, " he said. "This is my wife, Mr. Williams. "

The room clerk acknowledged the introduction with a bow that combinedthe grace of Paderewski and the dignity of Prince Florizel in just theright proportions. 

"Delighted to know you, Madame, " he declared. "Have you madereservations, Mr. Lubliner?"

Elkan shook his head and after an exchange of confidential murmurs Mr. Williams assigned them a room with an ocean view, from which theyemerged less than half an hour later to await on the veranda the welcomesound of the dinner gong. A buzz of animated conversation filled theair, above which rose a little shriek of welcome as Mrs. Gans rushedtoward Yetta with outstretched hands. 

"Why, hello, Yetta!" she cried. "I didn't know you was coming downhere. "

They exchanged the kiss of utter peace that persists between the kin ofhighgrade and popular-priced manufacturers. 

"I read about you in the newspapers, " Yetta said, as they seatedthemselves in adjoining rockers, and Mrs. Gans flashed all the gems ofher right hand in a gesture of deprecation. 

"I tell you, " she said, "it makes me sick here the way people carrieson. Honestly, Yetta, I don't see Barney only at meals and when he'sgetting dressed. Everything is Mister _Scharley_, Mister _Scharley_. Youwould think he was H. P. Morgan _oder_ the Czar of _Russland_ from thefuss everybody makes over him. "

Yetta nodded in sympathy and suddenly Mrs. Gans clutched the arm of herchair. 

"There he is now, " she hissed. 

"Where?" Yetta asked, and Mrs. Gans nodded toward a doorway at the endof the veranda, on which in electric bulbs was outlined the legend, "Hanging Gardens. " Yetta descried a short, stout personage between fiftyand sixty years of age, arrayed in a white flannel suit of which thecoat and waistcoat were cut in imitation of an informal evening costume. On his arm there drooped a lady no longer in her twenties, and from theV-shaped opening in the rear of her dinner gown a medical student couldhave distinguished with more or less certainty the bones of the cervicalvertebræ, the right and left scapula and the articulation of each withthe humerus and clavicle. 

"That's Miss Feldman, " Mrs. Gans whispered. "She's refined likeanything, Yetta, and she talks French better as a waiter already. "

At this juncture the dinner gong sounded and Yetta rejoined Elkan in thesocial hall. 

"What is the trouble you are looking so _rachmonos_, Elkan?" she askedas she pressed his arm consolingly. 

"To-night it's Sol Klinger, " Elkan replied. "He's got a dinner on in theHanging Gardens for Scharley, Yetta, and I guess I wouldn't get alook-in even. "

"You've got six weeks before you, " Yetta assured him, "and youshouldn't worry. Something is bound to turn up, ain't it?"

She gave his arm another little caress and they proceeded immediately tothe dining room, where the string orchestra and the small talk of twohundred and fifty guests strove vainly for the ascendency in onemaddening cacophony. It was nearly eight o'clock before Elkan and Yettaarose from the table and repaired to the veranda whose rockers werefilled with a chattering throng. 

"Let's get out of this, " Elkan said, and they descended the verandasteps to the sidewalk. Five minutes later they were seated on a remotebench of the boardwalk, and until nine o'clock they watched the beautyof the moon and sea, which is constant even at Egremont Beach. When theyrose to go Yetta noticed for the first time a shawl-clad figure on theadjacent bench, and immediately a pair of keen eyes flashed from a facewhose plump contentment was framed in a jet black wig of an earlyVictorian design. 

 * * * * *

"Why, if it ain't Mrs. Lesengeld, " Yetta exclaimed and the next momentshe enfolded the little woman in a cordial embrace. 

"You grown a _bisschen_ fat, Yetta, " Mrs. Lesengeld said. "I wouldn'tknew you at all, if you ain't speaking to me first. "

"This is my husband, Mrs. Lesengeld--Mr. Lubliner, " Yetta went on. "Heheard me talk often from you, Mrs. Lesengeld, and what a time you got itlearning me I should speak English yet. "

Elkan beamed at Mrs. Lesengeld. 

"And not only _that_, " he said, "but also how good to her you was whenshe was sick already. There ain't many boarding-house ladies like you, Mrs. Lesengeld. "

"And there ain't so many boarders like Yetta, neither, " Mrs. Lesengeldretorted. 

"And do you got a boarding-house down here, Mrs. Lesengeld?" Yettaasked. 

"I've gone out of the boarding-house business, " Mrs. Lesengeld replied, "which you know what a trouble I got it _mit_ that lowlife Lesengeld, _olav hasholom_, after he failed in the pants business, how I am workingmy fingers to the bones already keeping up his insurings in the I. O. M. A. And a couple thousand dollars in a company already. "

Yetta nodded. 

"Which I got my reward at last, " Mrs. Lesengeld concluded. "Quickdiabetes, Yetta, and so I bought for ten thousand dollars a mortgage, understand me, and my son-in-law allows me also four dollars a weekwhich I got it a whole lot easier nowadays. "

"And are you staying down here?" Elkan asked. 

"Me, I got for twenty dollars a month a little house _mit_ two roomsonly, right on the sea, which they call it there Bognor Park. You mustcome over and see us, Yetta. Such a _gemütlich_ little house we got ityou wouldn't believe at all, and every Sunday my daughter Fannie and myson-in-law comes down and stays with us. "

"And are you going all the way home alone?" Elkan asked anxiously. 

"Fannie is staying down with me to-night. She meets me on the corner ofthe Boulevard, where the car stops, at ten o'clock already, " Mrs. Lesengeld replied. 

"Then you must got to come right along with us, " Elkan said, "and we'llsee you would get there on time. "

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Lesengeld asked. 

"Over to the Salisbury, " Elkan answered, and Mrs. Lesengeld sank back onto the bench. 

"_Geh weg_, Mr. Lubliner, " she cried. "I am now fifty years old and Iwas never in such a place in my life, especially which under this shawlI got only a plain cotton dress yet. "

Elkan flapped his hand reassuringly. 

"A fine-looking lady like you, Mrs. Lesengeld, " he said, as he seizedher hands and drew her gently to her feet, "looks well in anything. "

"And you'll have a water ice in the Hanging Gardens with us, " Yettapersisted as she slipped a hand under Mrs. Lesengeld's shawl and pressedher arm affectionately. Ten minutes later they arrived at the stoop ofthe New Salisbury, to the scandalization and horror of the three scoreA to F first credit manufacturers and their wives. Moreover, approximately a hundred and fifty karats of blue white diamonds rose andfell indignantly on the bosoms of twenty or thirty credit-highretailers' wives, when the little, toilworn woman with her shawl andritualistic wig entered the Hanging Gardens chatting pleasantly withElkan and Yetta; and as they seated themselves at a table the buzz ofconversation hushed into silence and then roared out anew with anaccompaniment of titters. 

At the next table Sol Klinger plied with liquors and cigars thesurviving guests of his dinner, and when Elkan nodded to him, he ignoredthe salutation with a blank stare. He raged inwardly, not so much atElkan's invasion of that fashionable precinct as at the circumstancethat his guest of honour had departed with Miss Feldman for a stroll onthe boardwalk some ten minutes previously, and he was therefore unableto profit by Elkan's _faux pas_. 

"The feller ain't got no manners at all, " he said to Max Koblin, whonodded gloomily. 

"It's getting terrible mixed down here, Sol, " Max commented as hehiccoughed away a slight flatulency. "Honestly if you want to be instriking distance of your business, Sol, so's you could come in and outevery day, you got to rub shoulders with everybody, ain't it?"

He soothed his outraged sensibilities with a great cloud of smoke thatdrifted over Elkan's table, and Mrs. Lesengeld broke into a fit ofcoughing which caused a repetition of the titters. 

"And do you still make that brown stewed fish sweet and sour, Mrs. Lesengeld?" Yetta asked by way of putting the old lady at her ease. 

"Make it!" Mrs. Lesengeld answered. "I should say I do. Why you wouldn'tbelieve the way my son-in-law is crazy about it. We got it every Sundayregular, and I tell you what I would do, Yetta. "

She laid her hand on Yetta's arm and her face broke into a thousand tinywrinkles of hospitality. 

"You should come Friday to lunch sure, " she declared, "and we would gotsome brown stewed fish sweet and sour and a good plate of _Bortch_ tobegin with. "

Sol Klinger had been leaning back in his chair in an effort to overheartheir conversation, and at this announcement he broke into a broadguffaw, which ran around the table after he had related the cause of itto his guests. Indeed, so much did Sol relish the joke that with it heentertained the occupants of about a dozen seats in the smoking car ofthe 8:04 express the next morning, and he was so full of it when heentered Hammersmith's Restaurant the following noon that he could notforego the pleasure of visiting Marcus Polatkin's table and relating itto Polatkin himself. 

Polatkin heard him through without a smile and when at its conclusionKlinger broke into a hysterical appreciation of his own humour, Polatkinshrugged. 

"I suppose, Klinger, " he said, "your poor mother, _olav hasholom_, didn't wear a _sheitel_ neither, ain't it?"

"My mother, _olav hasholom_, would got more sense as to butt in to aplace like that, " Klinger retorted. 

"Even if you wouldn't of been ashamed to have taken her there, Klinger, "he added. 

Klinger flushed angrily. 

"That ain't here or there, Polatkin, " he said. "You should ought to putyour partner wise, Polatkin, that he shouldn't go dragging in an old_Bubé_ into a place like the Salisbury and talking such nonsense likebrown stewed fish sweet and sour. "

He broke into another laugh at the recollection of it--a laugh that waslouder but hardly as unforced as the first one. 

"What's the matter _mit_ brown stewed fish sweet and sour, Klinger?"Polatkin asked. "I eat already a lot of _a-la's_ and _en cazzerolls_ ina whole lot of places just so _grossartig_ as the Salisbury, understandme, and I would _schenck_ you a million of 'em for one plate of brownstewed fish sweet and sour like your mother made it from _zu Hause_yet. "

"But what for an interest does a merchant like Scharley got to hear suchthings, " Klinger protested lamely. "Honestly, I was ashamed for yourpartner's sake to hear such a talk going on there. "

"Did Scharley got any objections?" Polatkin asked. 

"Fortunately the feller had gone away from the table, " Klinger replied, "so he didn't hear it at all. "

"Well, " Polatkin declared, taking up his knife and fork as a signal thatthe matter was closed, "ask him and see if he wouldn't a whole lotsooner eat some good brown stewed fish sweet and sour as a ChineseLantern Dinner--whatever for a bunch of poison that might be, Klinger--and don't you forget it. "

Nevertheless when Polatkin returned to his place of business heproceeded at once to Elkan's office. 

"Say, lookyhere Elkan, " he demanded, "what is all this I hear about youand Yetta taking an old _Bubé_ into the Hanging Gardens already, andmaking from her laughing stocks out of the whole place. "

Elkan looked up calmly. 

"It's a free country, Mr. Polatkin, " he said, "and so long as I pay myboard _mit_ U. S. Money, already I would take in there any of my friendsI would please. "

"Sure, I know, " Polatkin expostulated, "but I seen Klinger around atHammersmith's and he says----"

"Klinger!" Elkan exclaimed. "Well, you could say to Klinger for me, Mr. Polatkin, that if he don't like the way I am acting around there, understand me, he should just got the nerve to tell it me to my faceyet. "

Polatkin flapped the air with his right hand. 

"Never mind Klinger, Elkan, " he said. "You got to consider you shouldn'tmake a fool of yourself before Scharley and all them people. How do youexpect you should get such a merchant as Scharley he should accept fromyou entertainment like a Chinese Lantern Dinner, if you are acting thatway?"

"Chinese Lantern Dinner be damned!" Elkan retorted. "When we got theright goods at the right price, Mr. Polatkin, why should we got to givea merchant dinners yet to convince him of it?"

"Dinners is nothing, Elkan, " Polatkin interrupted with a wave of hishand. "You got to give him dyspepsha even, the way business isnowadays. "

"_Aber_ I was talking to the room clerk last night, " Elkan went on, "andhe tells me so sure as you are standing there, Mr. Polatkin, a ChineseLantern Dinner would stand us in twenty dollars a head. "

"Twenty dollars a head!" Polatkin exclaimed and indulged himself in alow whistle. 

"So even if I _would_ be staying at the Salisbury, understand me, " Elkansaid, "I ain't going to throw away our money out of the window exactly. "

"_Aber_ how are you going to get the feller down here, if you wouldn'tentertain him or something?"

Elkan slapped his chest with a great show of confidence. 

"Leave that to _me_, Mr. Polatkin, " he said, and put on his hatpreparatory to going out to lunch. 

Nevertheless when he descended from his room at the New Salisbury thatevening and prepared to take a turn on the boardwalk before dinner, hisconfidence evaporated at the coolness of his reception by the assembledguests of the hotel. Leon Sammet cut him dead, and even B. Gans greetedhim with half jovial reproach. 

"Well, Elkan, " he said, "going to entertain any more _fromme Leute_ inthe Garden to-night?"

"Seemingly, Mr. Gans, " Elkan said, "it was a big shock to everybody hereto see for the first time an old lady wearing a _sheitel_. I supposenobody here never seen it before, ain't it?"

B. Gans put a fatherly hand on Elkan's shoulder. 

"I'll tell yer, Elkan, " he said, "if I would be such a _rosher_, understand me, that I would hold it against you because you ain'tforgetting an old friend, like this here lady must be, y'understand, Ishould never sell a dollar's worth more goods so long as I live, _aber_if Klinger and Sammet would start kidding you in front of Scharley, understand me, it would look bad. "

"Why would it look bad, Mr. Gans?" Elkan broke in. 

"Because it don't do nobody no good to have funny stories told about'em, except an actor _oder_ a politician, Elkan, " Gans replied as thedinner gong began to sound, "which if a customer wouldn't take _you_seriously, he wouldn't take your goods seriously neither, Elkan, andthat's all there is _to_ it. "

He smiled reassuringly as he walked toward the dining room and leftElkan a prey to most uncomfortable reflections, which did not abate whenhe overheard Klinger and Sammet hail Gans at the end of the veranda. 

"Well, Mr. Gans, " Klinger said with a sidelong glance at Elkan, "whatare you going to eat to-night--brown stewed fish sweet _und_ sour?"

Elkan could not distinguish B. Gans' reply, but he scowled fiercely atthe trio as they entered the hotel lobby, and he still frowned as hesauntered stolidly after them to await Yetta in the social hall. 

"What's the matter, Mr. Lubliner, " the room clerk asked when Elkanpassed the desk. "Aren't you feeling well to-day?"

"I feel all right, Mr. Williams, " Elkan replied, "but this here place isgetting on my nerves. It's too much like a big hotel out on the roadsomewheres. Everybody looks like they would got something to sell, understand me, and was doing their level best to sell it. "

"You're quite right, Mr. Lubliner, " the clerk commented, "and that's thereason why I came down here. In fact, " he added with a guilty smile, "Imade a date to show some of my lots to-morrow to a prospectivecustomer. "

At this juncture a porter appeared bearing a basket of champagne andfollowed by two waiters with ice buckets, and the room clerk jerked hishead sideways in the direction toward which the little procession haddisappeared. 

"That's for Suite 27, the Feldmans' rooms, " he explained. "Miss Feldmanis giving a little chafing-dish dinner there to Mr. Scharley and a fewfriends. "

He accepted with a graceful nod Elkan's proffered cigar. 

"Which goes to show that it's as you say, Mr. Lubliner, " he concluded. "If you have drygoods, real estate or marriageable relatives to disposeof, Mr. Lubliner, Egremont's the place to market them. "

 * * * * *

"Yes, Mr. Williams, " said Jacob Scharley at two o'clock the followingafternoon as they trudged along the sands of Bognor Park, one ofEgremont Beach's new developments, "I was trying to figure out how thesehere Chinese Lantern Dinners stands in a sucker like Leon Sammet twentydollars a head, when by the regular bill of fare it comes exactly toseven dollars and fifty cents including drinks. "

"You can't figure on a special dinner according to the prices on theregular bill of fare, " said Mr. Williams, the room clerk, who inhis quality of real-estate operator was attempting to shift theconversation from hotel matters to the topic of seaside lots. "Why, icecream is twenty-five cents on the bill of fare, but at one of thosedinners it's served in imitation Chinese lanterns, which makes it worthdouble at least. "

"For my part, " Scharley broke in, "they could serve it in kerosenelamps, Mr. Williams, because I never touch the stuff. "

"It's a parallel case to lots here and lots on Mizzentop Beach, which isthe next beach below, " Williams continued. "Here we have a boardwalkextending right down to our property, and we are getting seven hundredand fifty dollars a lot, while there, with practically the same transitfacilities but no boardwalk or electric lights, they get only fourhundred and----"

"_Aber_ you take a piece of tenderloin steak a half an inch thick andabout the size of a price ticket, understand me, " Scharley interrupted, "and even if you _would_ fix it up with half a cent's worth of peas andspill on it a bottle cough medicine and glue, _verstehst du mich_, howcould you make it figure up more as a dollar and a quarter, Mr. Williams? Then the clams, Mr. Williams, must got to have inside of 'emat the very least a half a karat pink pearl in 'em, otherwisethirty-five cents would be big yet. "

"Very likely, " Mr. Williams agreed as a shade of annoyance passed overhis well modelled features, "but just now, Mr. Scharley, I'm anxious toshow you the advantage of these lots of ours, and you won't mind if Idon't pursue the topic of Chinese Lantern Dinners any farther. "

"I'm only too glad not to talk about it at all, " Scharley agreed. "Infact if any one else tries to ring in another one of them dinners on me, Mr. Williams, I'll turn him down on the spot. Shaving-dish partiesneither, which I assure you, Mr. Williams, even if Miss Feldman would bean elegant, refined young lady, understand me, she fixes something inthat shaving dish of hers last night, understand me, which I thought Iwas poisoned already. "

Williams deemed it best to ignore this observation and therefore made nocomment. 

"But anyhow, " Scharley concluded as they approached a little woodenshack on the margin of the water, "I'm sick and tired of things to eat, so let's talk about something else. "

Having delivered this ultimatum, his footsteps lagged and he stoppedshort as he began to sniff the air like a hunting dog. 

"M-m-m-m!" he exclaimed. "What _is_ that?"

"That's a two-room shed we rent for twenty dollars a month, " Williamsexplained. "We have eight of them and they help considerably to pay ouroffice rent over in New York. "

"Sure I know, " Scharley agreed, "_aber_, m-m-m-m!"

Once more he expanded his nostrils to catch a delicious fragrance thatemanated from the little shack. 

"_Aber_, who lives there?" he insisted, and Mr. Williams could notrestrain a laugh. 

"Why, it's that old lady with the wig that Lubliner brought over to thehotel the other night, " he replied. "I thought I saw Sol Klinger tellingyou about it yesterday. "

"He started to tell me something about it, " Scharley said, "when BarneyGans butted in and wouldn't let him. What _was_ it about this here oldlady?"

"There isn't anything to it particularly, " Williams replied, "exceptingthat it seemed a little strange to see an old lady in a shawl and one ofthose religious wigs in the Hanging Gardens, and there was somethingelse Klinger told me about Mrs. Lubliner and the old lady talking aboutbrown stewed fish sweet and----"

At this juncture Scharley snapped his fingers excitedly. 

"Brown stewed fish sweet and sour!" he almost shouted. "I ain't smelledit since I was a boy already. "

He wagged his head and again murmured, "M-m-m-m-m!"

Suddenly he received an inspiration. 

"How much did you say them shanties rents for, Mr. Williams?" he said. 

"Twenty dollars a month, " Williams replied. 

"You don't tell me!" Scharley exclaimed solemnly. "I wonder if I couldgive a look at the inside of one of 'em--this one here, for instance. "

"I don't think there'd be any objection, " Williams said, and no soonerwere the words out of his mouth than Scharley started off on a half trotfor the miniature veranda on the ocean side of the little house. 

"Perhaps I'd better inquire first if it's convenient for them to let usin now, " Williams said, as he bounded after his prospective customer andknocked gently on the doorjamb. There was a sound of scurrying feetwithin, and at length the door was opened a few inches and the bewiggedhead of Mrs. Lesengeld appeared in the crack. 

"_Nu_, " she said, "what _is_ it?"

"I represent the Bognor Park Company, " Williams replied, "and if it'sperfectly convenient for you, Mrs. ----"

"Lesengeld, " she added. 

"Used to was Lesengeld & Schein in the pants business?" Scharley asked, and Mrs. Lesengeld nodded. 

"Why, Lesengeld and me was lodge brothers together in the I. O. M. A. Before I went out to the Pacific Coast years ago already, " Scharleydeclared. "I guess he's often spoken to you about Jake Scharley, ain'tit?"

"Maybe he did, Mr. Scharley, _aber_ he's dead _schon_ two years sincealready, " Mrs. Lesengeld said, and then added the pious hope, "_olavhasholom_. "

"You don't say so, " Scharley cried in shocked accents. "Why, he wasn'tno older as me already. "

"Fifty-three when he died, " Mrs. Lesengeld said. "Quick diabetes, Mr. Scharley. Wouldn't you step inside?"

Scharley and Williams passed into the front room, which was used as aliving room and presented an appearance of remarkable neatness andorder. In the corner stood an oil stove on which two saucepans bubbledand steamed, and as Mrs. Lesengeld turned to follow her visitors one ofthe saucepans boiled over. 

"Oo-ee!" she exclaimed. "_Mein fisch. _"

"Go ahead and tend to it, " Scharley cried excitedly; "don't mind us. Itmight get burned already. "

He watched her anxiously while she turned down the flame. 

"Brown stewed fish sweet and sour, ain't it?" he asked, and Mrs. Lesengeld nodded as she lowered the flame to just the proper height. 

"I _thought_ it was, " Scharley continued. "I ain't smelled it in fortyyears already. My poor mother, _olav hasholom_, used to fix it somethingelegant. "

He heaved a sigh as he sat down on a nearby campstool. 

"This smells just like it, " he added. In front of the window a tablehad been placed, spread with a spotless white cloth and laid for twopersons, and Scharley glanced at it hastily and turned his head away. 

"Forty years ago come next _Shevuos_ I ain't tasted it already, " heconcluded. 

Mrs. Lesengeld coloured slightly and clutched at her apron in an agonyof embarrassment. 

"The fact is we only got three knives and forks, " she said, "otherwisethere is plenty fish for everybody. "

"Why, we just had our lunch at the hotel before we started, " Mr. Williams said. 

"_You_ did, " Scharley corrected him reproachfully, "_aber_ I ain'thardly touched a thing since last night. That shaving-dish party prettynear killed me, already. "

"Well, then, we got just enough knives and forks, " Mrs. Lesengeld cried. "Do you like maybe also _Bortch_, Mr. Scharley?"

"_Bortch!_" Mr. Scharley exclaimed, and his voice trembled withexcitement. "Do you mean a sort of soup _mit_ beets and--and--all that?"

"That's it, " Mrs. Lesengeld replied, and Scharley nodded his headslowly. 

"Mrs. Lesengeld, " he said, "would you believe me, it's so long since Itasted that stuff I didn't remember such a thing exists even. "

"And do you like it?" Mrs. Lesengeld repeated. 

"Do I _like_ it!" Scharley cried. "_Um Gottes Willen_, Mrs. Lesengeld, I_love_ it. "

"Then sit right down, " she said heartily. "Everything is ready. "

"If you don't mind, Mr. Scharley, " Williams interrupted, "I'll wait foryou at the office of the company. It's only a couple of hundred yardsdown the beach. "

"Go as far as you like, Mr. Williams, " Scharley said as he tucked anapkin between his collar and chin. "I'll be there when I get through. "

After Mrs. Lesengeld had ushered out Mr. Williams, she proceeded to thedoor of the rear room and knocked vigorously. 

"Don't be foolish, Yetta, and come on out, " she called. "It ain't nobodybut an old friend of my husband's. "

A moment later Yetta entered the room, and Scharley scrambled to hisfeet, a knife grasped firmly in one hand, and bobbed his head cordially. 

"Pleased to meetcher, " he said. 

"This is Mrs. Lubliner, Mr. Scharley, " Mrs. Lesengeld said. 

"Don't make no difference, Mrs. Lesengeld, " Scharley assured her, "anyfriend of yours is a friend of mine, so you should sit right down, Mrs. Lubliner, on account we are all ready to begin. "

Then followed a moment of breathless silence while Mrs. Lesengeld dishedup the beetroot soup, and when she placed a steaming bowlful in frontof Scharley he immediately plunged his spoon into it. A moment later helifted his eyes to the ceiling. 

"Oo-ee!" he exclaimed. "What an elegant soup!"

Mrs. Lesengeld blushed, and after the fashion of a _cordon bleu_ theworld over, she began to decry her own handiwork. 

"It should ought to got just a _Bisschen_ more pepper into it, " shemurmured. 

"_Oser a Stück_, " Scharley declared solemnly, as he consumed thecontents of his bowl in great gurgling inhalations. "There's only onething I got to say against it. "

He scraped his bowl clean and handed it to Mrs. Lesengeld. 

"And that is, " he concluded, "that it makes me eat so much of it, understand me, I'm scared I wouldn't got no room for the brown stewedfish. "

Again he emptied the bowl, and at last the moment arrived when the brownstewed fish smoked upon the table. Mrs. Lesengeld helped Scharley to aheaping plateful, and both she and Yetta watched him intently, as withthe deftness of a Japanese juggler he balanced approximately a halfpound of the succulent fish on the end of his fork. For nearly a minutehe blew on it, and when it reached an edible temperature he opened widehis mouth and thrust the fork load home. Slowly and with great smackingof his moist lips he chewed away, and then his eyes closed and he laiddown his knife and fork. 

"_Gan-éden!_" he declared as he reached across the table and shook handswith Mrs. Lesengeld. 

"Mrs. Lesengeld, " he said, "my mother _olav hasholom_ was a good _cook_, understand me, _aber_ you are a _good cook_, Mrs. Lesengeld, and that'sall there is to it. "

Forthwith he resumed his knife and fork, and with only two pauses forthe necessary replenishments, he polished off three platefuls of thefish, after which he heaved a great sigh of contentment, and as aprelude to conversation he lit one of B. Gans' choicest cigars. 

"There's some dessert coming, " Mrs. Lesengeld said. 

"Dessert after this, Mrs. Lesengeld, " he replied, through clouds ofcontented smoke, "would be a sacrilege, ain't it?"

"That's something I couldn't make at all, " Mrs. Lesengeld admitted. "AllI got it here is some _frimsel kugel_. "

"_Frimsel kugel!_" Scharley exclaimed, laying down his cigar. "Why ain'tyou told me that before?"

A quarter of an hour later he again lighted his cigar, and this time hesettled back in his campstool for conversation, while Mrs. Lesengeldbusied herself about the oil stove. Instantly, however, he straightenedup as another and more delicious odour assailed his nostrils, for Mrs. Lesengeld made coffee by a mysterious process, that conserved in theflavour of the decoction the delicious fragrance of the freshly groundbean. 

"And are you staying down here with Mrs. Lesengeld?" Scharley askedYetta after he had finished his third cup. 

"In this little place here?" Mrs. Lesengeld cried indignantly. "Well, Ishould say not. She's stopping at the Salisbury, ain't you, Yetta?"

Yetta nodded and sighed. 

"It ain't so comfortable as here, " she said. 

"I bet yer, " Scharley added fervently. "I am stopping there too, andthem Chinese Lantern Dinners which they are putting up!"

He waved his hand eloquently. 

"Poison ain't no word for it, Missus Er----" he concluded lamely as hetried to remember Yetta's name, which after so much soup, fish andcoffee had completely escaped him. 

"Lubliner, " Yetta said. "I guess you know my husband, Mr. Scharley, Elkan Lubliner of Polatkin, Scheikowitz & Company. "

Scharley struck the table with his open hand. 

"Zoitenly, I do, " he cried. "Why, he is the feller which Sol Klinger istelling me about. "

Yetta coloured slightly and bit her lips. 

"What did he tell you about him?" she asked. 

"Why, " Scharley said, drawing vigorously on his imagination, "he says tome what a bright young feller he is and----"

Here he reflected that in a highly competitive trade like the cloak andsuit business this statement sounded a trifle exaggerated. 

"And, " he went on hurriedly, "he told me how he saw you and him withMrs. Lesengeld up at the hotel the other evening, and I says, 'What, ' Isays, 'you don't mean Mrs. Lesengeld whose husband used to was in thepants business?' and he said he didn't know, 'because, ' I says, 'ifthat's the same party, ' I says, 'I would like for her to come up to thehotel and take dinner with me some time, ' I says. "

He smiled cordially at Mrs. Lesengeld. 

"And I hope you will, " he concluded earnestly, "to-morrow night sure. "

Mrs. Lesengeld shook her head. 

"I ain't fixed to go to no swell hotel, " she demurred. "I ain't got noclothes nor nothing. "

"What do you care about clothes, Mrs. Lesengeld?" Scharley protested. 

"And besides, " Yetta said with sudden inspiration, "we could get up alittle chafing-dish dinner in our room, ain't it?"

"For that matter we could do it in my room, " Scharley cried, as theresounded a vigorous knocking on the outside of the door leading to theveranda, and a moment later Williams entered. 

"Excuse me, Mr. Scharley, " he said, "but I have to be getting back tothe hotel and if you're quite through we'll go and look at that map ofthe lots down in the office. "

Scharley waved his hand airily. 

"Sit down, Mr. Williams, " he said, "and drink the cup of coffee of yourlife. "

He handed the room clerk a cigar. 

"I could promise you one thing, Mr. Williams, " he went on, "I got agreat idee of buying some lots here and building a little house on 'em, _gemütlich_ just like this, and if I do, Williams, I would take themlots from you for certain sure. Only one thing, Williams, I want you todo me for a favour. "

He paused and puffed carefully on his cigar. 

"I want you to pick me out a couple good vacant rooms on the top floorof the Salisbury for Saturday night, " he said, "where I could give ashaving-dish party, so if any of the guests of the hotel objects, understand me, they wouldn't get the smell of the _Bortch_, coffee, andbrown stewed fish sweet and sour. "

 * * * * *

On the following Wednesday afternoon Elkan sat at his desk, while MarcusPolatkin and Philip Scheikowitz leaned over his left shoulder and rightshoulder respectively, and watched carefully the result of a pencilledaddition which Elkan was making. 

"With them crêpe meteors, " Elkan said at last, "Scharley's order comesto four thousand three hundred dollars. "

Polatkin and Scheikowitz nodded in unison. 

"It ain't bad for a start, " Scheikowitz volunteered as he sat down andlit a cigar. 

"For a finish, neither, " Polatkin added, "so far as that's concerned. "

Elkan wheeled round in his chair and grinned delightedly. 

"And you ought to seen Sol Klinger when we walked into the HangingGardens, " he said. "He got white like a sheet. It tickled Scharley todeath, and he went right to work and put his arm through Mrs. Lesengeld's arm and took her right down to the middle table, like shewould be a queen already. "

"Sure, " Scheikowitz agreed, "what does a real merchant like Scharleycare if she would wear a _sheitel oder_ not, so long as she is a ladyalready. "

Elkan's grin spread until it threatened to engulf his ears. 

"She didn't wear no _sheitel_, " he said. 

"What!" Scheikowitz cried. "I didn't think a religious woman like Mrs. Lesengeld would take off her _sheitel_ at _her_ time of life. "

"What d'ye mean _her_ time of life?" Elkan cried indignantly. "Fridayafternoon yet before Yetta went home from her place there at BognorPark, Mrs. Lesengeld says to her that a widder don't got to wear no_sheitel_ if she don't want to, which if you think, Mr. Scheikowitz, that fifty-three is a time of life, understand me, I think differencely, especially when I seen her with her hair all fixed up on Saturdaynight. "

"Who fixed it?" Marcus Polatkin asked, and Elkan grinned again. 

"Who d'ye suppose?" he replied. "Why, her and Yetta spent pretty near anhour up in our room before they got through, and I tell yer with the waythey turned up the hem and fixed the sleeves of one of Yetta's blackdresses, it fitted her like it would be made for her. "

"And did she look good in it?" Scheikowitz inquired. 

"Did she look good in it!" Elkan exclaimed. "Well, you can just bet yourlife, Mr. Polatkin, that there Hortense Feldman wasn't one, two, sixwith her. In fact, Mr. Polatkin, you would take your oath already thatthere wasn't two years between 'em. I had a good chance to compare 'emon account when we went down to the Hanging Gardens, understand me, MissFeldman sits at the next table already. "

Polatkin smiled broadly. 

"She must have had a big _Schreck_, " he commented. "Why, B. Gans told melast Saturday that Henry D. Feldman thinks that he's going to fix thewhole thing up between her and Scharley. "

"I guess he ain't got that idee no longer, " Elkan declared, "becauseeverybody in Egremont knows Scharley was down visiting Mrs. Lesengeldover Sunday, and takes her and her daughter Fannie and Fannie's husbandout oitermobiling. "

"You don't tell me?" Scheikowitz exclaimed. 

"Furthermore, on Monday, " Elkan continued, "he goes down there to dinnerwith me and Yetta, and Mrs. Lesengeld cooks some _Tebeches_ which fairlymelts in your mouth already. "

He smacked his lips over the recollection. 

"Yesterday, as you know, " he went on, "I took Scharley and Mrs. Lesengeld over to Coney Island in an oitermobile and to-night yet we areall going sailing on Egremont Bay. "

Polatkin rose to his feet and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Well, " he said, "why not? They're about the same age. "

"He's two years older as she is, " Elkan declared, "and I bet yer theywouldn't lose no time. It'll be next fall sure. "

 * * * * *

One busy morning three months later Elkan ripped open a heavy cream-laidenvelope and drew out the following announcement, engraved in shadedold English type:

 =Mrs. Fannie Stubin= =has the honor of announcing the marriage= =of her mother=

 =Mrs. Sarah Lesengeld= =to= =Mr. Jacob Scharley=

 =On Tuesday the first of October= =at San Francisco, California=

"And what are we going to send them for a present?" Polatkin asked. 

Elkan smiled serenely. 

"A solid silver chafing dish, " he replied without hesitation, "at thevery least, big enough to hold five pounds of brown stewed fish sweetand sour. "

THE END

[Illustration: Printer's Mark]

THE COUNTRY LIFE PRESSGARDEN CITY, N. Y. 

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | Transcriber's Notes: | | | | The 1912 edition of this text contains numerous words and phrases | | with variant spellings. For the most part these variations have | | been retained to maintain the flavor of the original text, and | | only obvious spelling and puncuation errors have been corrected, | | as detailed below. A few changes have also been made with | | formatting of punctuation for text consistency. | | | | The name of character Kent J. Goldenfein, who is introduced on | | pages 142-145, changes on page 210 to Kent J. "Goldstein" and | | subsequently remains "Goldstein" for the remainder of the story. | | This inconsistency has been retained to match the 1912 text. | | | | | | Typographical Corrections: | | | | Page 4. Added close-quotes. (". .. Yosel to come to America. ") | | | | Page 10. Removed close-quotes. (threshold of the cutting room. ) | | | | Page 14. Changed question mark to comma. ("He is in Minsk, " said | | young Borrochson. ) | | | | Page 27. Changed "de, manded" to "demanded". (Philip demanded. ) | | | | Page 27. Changed "jerred" to "jeered". (Philip jeered. ) | | | | Page 37. Removed close-quotes. (Polatkin rose to his feet. ) | | | | Page 50. Added period. (the tops of her powdered cheeks. ) | | | | Page 64. Changed "Scheikowizt" to "Scheikowitz". (Scheikowitz | | protested. ) | | | | Page 87. Changed "Sheikowitz" to "Scheikowitz". (". .. Mr. | | Scheikowitz, so sure as I am sitting here. .. . ") | | | | Page 91. Added open-quotes. ("I suppose, Elkan, you are | | wondering. .. . ") | | | | Page 92. Changed "Poltakin" to "Polatkin". (". .. Flixman's store?" | | Polatkin asked. ) | | | | Page 97. Changed "Mr" to "Mr. " (". .. Right buying idee, Mr. | | Kapfer. .. . ") | | | | Page 152. Removed close-quotes. (begun at dinner that evening. ) | | | | Page 153. Added close-quotes. (". .. Oder Schwefel & Zucker. ") | | | | Page 153. Changed "Kolbin's" to "Koblin's". (Max Koblin's house) | | | | Page 182. Removed end-quotes. (to make further inquiries. ) | | | | Page 199. Added close-quotes. ("What time do you eat dinner?") | | | | Page 225. Changed "tansactions" to "transactions". (all | | real-estate transactions involving) | | | | Page 241. Added close-quotes. (". .. The other fellow's case. ") | | | | Page 263. Added period. (". .. Makes up his mind yet. ") | | | | Page 279. Added period. (his high, piping voice. ) | | | | Page 281. Added comma. ("If we didn't, " he continued. .. . ) | | | | Page 294. Added close-quotes. (". .. For a couple of months. ") | | | | Page 295. Changed "deprecatio" to "deprecation. " (gesture of | | deprecation. ) | | | | Page 312. Corrected open-quotes. ("Brown stewed fish. .. . ") | | | | Page 317. Added close-quotes. (". .. Scheikowitz & Company. ") | | | | Page 320. Added close-quotes. (". .. Three hundred dollars. ") | | | +--------------------------------------------------------------------+