GULLIVER’S TRAVELS INTO SEVERAL REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD

 BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D. D. , DEAN OF ST. PATRICK’S, DUBLIN. 

 [_First published in_ 1726–7. ]

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER. 

 [_As given in the original edition_. ]

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient andintimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on themother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of theconcourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made asmall purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, inNottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet ingood esteem among his neighbours. 

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his fatherdwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire; toconfirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in thatcounty, several tombs and monuments of the Gullivers. 

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following papers inmy hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit. Ihave carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain andsimple; and the only fault I find is, that the author, after the mannerof travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There is an air of truthapparent through the whole; and indeed the author was so distinguishedfor his veracity, that it became a sort of proverb among his neighboursat Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as ifMr. Gulliver had spoken it. 

By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author’spermission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them intothe world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a betterentertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles ofpolitics and party. 

This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not madebold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the management of the ship instorms, in the style of sailors; likewise the account of longitudes andlatitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr. Gulliver may be alittle dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the work as much aspossible to the general capacity of readers. However, if my ownignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some mistakes, Ialone am answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a curiosity tosee the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of the author, Iwill be ready to gratify him. 

As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader willreceive satisfaction from the first pages of the book. 

 RICHARD SYMPSON. 

A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON. 

 WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727. 

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called toit, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me topublish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with directionsto hire some young gentleman of either university to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my advice, in hisbook called “A Voyage round the world. ” But I do not remember I gave youpower to consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that anything should be inserted; therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounceevery thing of that kind; particularly a paragraph about her majestyQueen Anne, of most pious and glorious memory; although I did reverenceand esteem her more than any of human species. But you, or yourinterpolator, ought to have considered, that it was not my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of our composition before mymaster _Houyhnhnm_: And besides, the fact was altogether false; for to myknowledge, being in England during some part of her majesty’s reign, shedid govern by a chief minister; nay even by two successively, the firstwhereof was the lord of Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford; sothat you have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise in theaccount of the academy of projectors, and several passages of mydiscourse to my master _Houyhnhnm_, you have either omitted some materialcircumstances, or minced or changed them in such a manner, that I dohardly know my own work. When I formerly hinted to you something of thisin a letter, you were pleased to answer that you were afraid of givingoffence; that people in power were very watchful over the press, and aptnot only to interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an_innuendo_ (as I think you call it). But, pray how could that which Ispoke so many years ago, and at about five thousand leagues distance, inanother reign, be applied to any of the _Yahoos_, who now are said togovern the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or feared, the unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason tocomplain, when I see these very _Yahoos_ carried by _Houyhnhnms_ in avehicle, as if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? Andindeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principalmotive of my retirement hither. 

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and tothe trust I reposed in you. 

I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment, inbeing prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasoning of you andsome others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to bepublished. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on the motive of public good, that the _Yahoos_ were aspecies of animals utterly incapable of amendment by precept or example:and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full stop put to allabuses and corruptions, at least in this little island, as I had reasonto expect; behold, after above six months warning, I cannot learn that mybook has produced one single effect according to my intentions. Idesired you would let me know, by a letter, when party and faction wereextinguished; judges learned and upright; pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, and Smithfield blazing with pyramidsof law books; the young nobility’s education entirely changed; thephysicians banished; the female _Yahoos_ abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good sense; courts and levees of great ministers thoroughlyweeded and swept; wit, merit, and learning rewarded; all disgracers ofthe press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their owncotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink. These, and athousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon by your encouragement;as indeed they were plainly deducible from the precepts delivered in mybook. And it must be owned, that seven months were a sufficient time tocorrect every vice and folly to which _Yahoos_ are subject, if theirnatures had been capable of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been from answering my expectation in any of yourletters; that on the contrary you are loading our carrier every week withlibels, and keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; whereinI see myself accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degradinghuman nature (for so they have still the confidence to style it), and ofabusing the female sex. I find likewise that the writers of thosebundles are not agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allowme to be the author of my own travels; and others make me author of booksto which I am wholly a stranger. 

I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound thetimes, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages and returns; neitherassigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the month: and Ihear the original manuscript is all destroyed since the publication of mybook; neither have I any copy left: however, I have sent you somecorrections, which you may insert, if ever there should be a secondedition: and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall leave that matter tomy judicious and candid readers to adjust it as they please. 

I hear some of our sea _Yahoos_ find fault with my sea-language, as notproper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my firstvoyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners, andlearned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the sea_Yahoos_ are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled in theirwords, which the latter change every year; insomuch, as I remember uponeach return to my own country their old dialect was so altered, that Icould hardly understand the new. And I observe, when any _Yahoo_ comesfrom London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of usare able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to theother. 

If the censure of the _Yahoos_ could any way affect me, I should havegreat reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think mybook of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone sofar as to drop hints, that the _Houyhnhnms_ and _Yahoos_ have no moreexistence than the inhabitants of Utopia. 

Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of _Lilliput_, _Brobdingrag_(for so the word should have been spelt, and not erroneously_Brobdingnag_), and _Laputa_, I have never yet heard of any _Yahoo_ sopresumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have relatedconcerning them; because the truth immediately strikes every reader withconviction. And is there less probability in my account of the_Houyhnhnms_ or _Yahoos_, when it is manifest as to the latter, there areso many thousands even in this country, who only differ from theirbrother brutes in _Houyhnhnmland_, because they use a sort of jabber, anddo not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not their approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate _Houyhnhnms_ I keep in mystable; because from these, degenerate as they are, I still improve insome virtues without any mixture of vice. 

Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so degenerated asto defend my veracity? _Yahoo_ as I am, it is well known through all_Houyhnhnmland_, that, by the instructions and example of my illustriousmaster, I was able in the compass of two years (although I confess withthe utmost difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls of all myspecies; especially the Europeans. 

I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but Iforbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess, thatsince my last return, some corruptions of my _Yahoo_ nature have revivedin me by conversing with a few of your species, and particularly those ofmy own family, by an unavoidable necessity; else I should never haveattempted so absurd a project as that of reforming the _Yahoo_ race inthis kingdom: But I have now done with all such visionary schemes forever. 

_April_ 2, 1727

PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 

CHAPTER I. 

The author gives some account of himself and family. His firstinducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life. Getssafe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and carriedup the country. 

My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of fivesons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my studies; butthe charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice to Mr. JamesBates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued four years. My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I laid them out inlearning navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to thosewho intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some time orother, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to myfather: where, by the assistance of him and my uncle John, and some otherrelations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty pounds a year tomaintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voyages. 

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannel, commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making a voyageor two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came back Iresolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouragedme, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took part of asmall house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition, Imarried Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton, hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred pounds for aportion. 

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having fewfriends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer meto imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Havingtherefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, Idetermined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, bywhich I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent inreading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided witha good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the mannersand dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language;wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory. 

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of thesea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I removedfrom the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping, hoping toget business among the sailors; but it would not turn to account. Afterthree years expectation that things would mend, I accepted anadvantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May4, 1699, and our voyage was at first very prosperous. 

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with theparticulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to informhim, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were drivenby a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By anobservation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutessouth. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food;the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, whichwas the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship; but thewind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and immediatelysplit. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down the boat intothe sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till we were able to work nolonger, being already spent with labour while we were in the ship. Wetherefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about halfan hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north. Whatbecame of my companions in the boat, as well as of those who escaped onthe rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude theywere all lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and waspushed forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop, and couldfeel no bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to struggle nolonger, I found myself within my depth; and by this time the storm wasmuch abated. The declivity was so small, that I walked near a milebefore I got to the shore, which I conjectured was about eight o’clock inthe evening. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but could notdiscover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least I was in so weak acondition, that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and withthat, and the heat of the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that Idrank as I left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I laydown on the grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounderthan ever I remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, aboutnine hours; for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I attempted torise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie on my back, Ifound my arms and legs were strongly fastened on each side to the ground;and my hair, which was long and thick, tied down in the same manner. Ilikewise felt several slender ligatures across my body, from my arm-pitsto my thighs. I could only look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, andthe light offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but inthe posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time Ifelt something alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gentlyforward over my breast, came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyesdownwards as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature notsix inches high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at hisback. In the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (asI conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leapingfrom my sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one ofthem, who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting uphis hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill butdistinct voice, _Hekinah degul_: the others repeated the same wordsseveral times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all thiswhile, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings, andwrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground; for, bylifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods they had taken to bindme, and at the same time with a violent pull, which gave me excessivepain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair on the leftside, so that I was just able to turn my head about two inches. But thecreatures ran off a second time, before I could seize them; whereuponthere was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased Iheard one of them cry aloud _Tolgo phonac_; when in an instant I feltabove a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me likeso many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the air, aswe do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my body, (thoughI felt them not), and some on my face, which I immediately covered withmy left hand. When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a groaningwith grief and pain; and then striving again to get loose, theydischarged another volley larger than the first, and some of themattempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by good luck I had ona buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I thought it the mostprudent method to lie still, and my design was to continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose, I could easily free myself: andas for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be a match forthe greatest army they could bring against me, if they were all of thesame size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no more arrows;but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers increased; and about fouryards from me, over against my right ear, I heard a knocking for above anhour, like that of people at work; when turning my head that way, as wellas the pegs and strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about afoot and a half from the ground, capable of holding four of theinhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount it: from whence one ofthem, who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one syllable. But I should have mentioned, thatbefore the principal person began his oration, he cried out three times, _Langro dehul san_ (these words and the former were afterwards repeatedand explained to me); whereupon, immediately, about fifty of theinhabitants came and cut the strings that fastened the left side of myhead, which gave me the liberty of turning it to the right, and ofobserving the person and gesture of him that was to speak. He appearedto be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other three whoattended him, whereof one was a page that held up his train, and seemedto be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the other two stood one oneach side to support him. He acted every part of an orator, and I couldobserve many periods of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, andkindness. I answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him fora witness; and being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten amorsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found the demands ofnature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear showing my impatience(perhaps against the strict rules of decency) by putting my fingerfrequently to my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The _hurgo_ (forso they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me verywell. He descended from the stage, and commanded that several laddersshould be applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of theinhabitants mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets fullof meat, which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was theflesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton, andvery well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them bytwo or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about thebigness of musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk andappetite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found bymy eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a mostingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of theirlargest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top;I drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not holdhalf a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much moredelicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the samemanner, and made signs for more; but they had none to give me. When Ihad performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced upon mybreast, repeating several times as they did at first, _Hekinah degul_. They made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but firstwarning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud, _Borachmevolah_; and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a universalshout of _Hekinah degul_. I confess I was often tempted, while they werepassing backwards and forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of thefirst that came in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But theremembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worstthey could do, and the promise of honour I made them—for so I interpretedmy submissive behaviour—soon drove out these imaginations. Besides, Inow considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality, to a peoplewho had treated me with so much expense and magnificence. However, in mythoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of thesediminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was at liberty, without trembling at the very sightof so prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there appearedbefore me a person of high rank from his imperial majesty. Hisexcellency, having mounted on the small of my right leg, advancedforwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his retinue; and producinghis credentials under the signet royal, which he applied close to myeyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kindof determinate resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as Iafterwards found, was towards the capital city, about half a miledistant; whither it was agreed by his majesty in council that I must beconveyed. I answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a signwith my hand that was loose, putting it to the other (but over hisexcellency’s head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to myown head and body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It appearedthat he understood me well enough, for he shook his head by way ofdisapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to show that I must becarried as a prisoner. However, he made other signs to let me understandthat I should have meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which wereall in blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, andobserving likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokensto let them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Uponthis, the _hurgo_ and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerfulcountenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequentrepetitions of the words _Peplom selan_; and I felt great numbers ofpeople on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I wasable to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water; which Ivery plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who, conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately opened tothe right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell withsuch noise and violence from me. But before this, they had daubed myface and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to thesmell, which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had received by theirvictuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. Islept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was nowonder, for the physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a sleepypotion in the hogsheads of wine. 

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on theground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by anexpress; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner Ihave related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that plenty ofmeat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine prepared to carry meto the capital city. 

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I amconfident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the likeoccasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well asgenerous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me withtheir spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly haveawaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused myrage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith Iwas tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so theycould expect no mercy. 

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a greatperfection in mechanics, by the countenance and encouragement of theemperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has severalmachines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other greatweights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are ninefeet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried onthese engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundredcarpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare thegreatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inchesfrom the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upontwenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of thisengine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It wasbrought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was toraise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness ofpackthread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which the workmenhad girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hundred ofthe strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by many pulleysfastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I was raisedand slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I was told;for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a profound sleep, bythe force of that soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor. Fifteenhundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about four inches and ahalf high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as Isaid, was half a mile distant. 

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a veryridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to adjustsomething that was out of order, two or three of the young natives hadthe curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up intothe engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an officerin the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up into myleft nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me sneezeviolently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three weeksbefore I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a long marchthe remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with five hundredguards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows andarrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning atsun-rise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards ofthe city gates about noon. The emperor, and all his court, came out tomeet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his majesty toendanger his person by mounting on my body. 

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having beenpolluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to thezeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had beenapplied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gatefronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a smallwindow, not above six inches from the ground: into that on the left side, the king’s smith conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like those thathang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were lockedto my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet distance, therewas a turret at least five feet high. Here the emperor ascended, withmany principal lords of his court, to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above ahundred thousand inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand;and, in spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than tenthousand at several times, who mounted my body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cutall the strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy adisposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise and astonishment ofthe people, at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. Thechains that held my left leg were about two yards long, and gave me notonly the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, andlie at my full length in the temple. 

CHAPTER II. 

The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes tosee the author in his confinement. The emperor’s person and habitdescribed. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. Hegains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and hissword and pistols taken from him. 

When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess Inever beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appearedlike a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generallyforty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields wereintermingled with woods of half a stang, {301} and the tallest trees, asI could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on myleft hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a theatre. 

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of nature;which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had lastdisburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency andshame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far asthe length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of thatuneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of souncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader willgive some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered mycase, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practicewas, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the fullextent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before companycame, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not have dwelt solong upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear notvery momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify mycharacter, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told, someof my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other occasions, to callin question. 

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, havingoccasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from thetower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have costhim dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused tosuch a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before him, reared upon its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent horseman, kepthis seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while hismajesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me roundwith great admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain. Heordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give mevictuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles uponwheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and soon emptiedthem all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor; eachof the former afforded me two or three good mouthfuls; and I emptied theliquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthen vials, into onevehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with the rest. Theempress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by manyladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident thathappened to the emperor’s horse, they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth ofmy nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to strike an aweinto the beholders. His features are strong and masculine, with anAustrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenanceerect, his body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime, beingtwenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned aboutseven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the betterconvenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face wasparallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, I have hadhim since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in thedescription. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of itbetween the Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a lighthelmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He heldhis sword drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen tobreak loose; it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard weregold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear andarticulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladiesand courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot theystood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spokeoften to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand asyllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as Iconjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves tome; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the leastsmattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hoursthe court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent theimpertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were veryimpatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them hadthe impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by thedoor of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But thecolonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought nopunishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which someof his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-endsof their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put fiveof them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a countenance asif I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and thecolonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they saw metake out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for, lookingmildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was bound with, I set himgently on the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in the samemanner, taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both thesoldiers and people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much to my advantage at court. 

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay onthe ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred bedsof the common measure were brought in carriages, and worked up in myhouse; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn together, made up thebreadth and length; and these were four double: which, however, kept mebut very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that was of smoothstone. By the same computation, they provided me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured tohardships. 

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it broughtprodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so thatthe villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage andhousehold affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had notprovided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against thisinconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me shouldreturn home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house, without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state gotconsiderable fees. 

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate whatcourse should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by aparticular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in thesecret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me; or atleast to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which wouldsoon despatch me; but again they considered, that the stench of so largea carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably spreadthrough the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consultations, severalofficers of the army went to the door of the great council-chamber, andtwo of them being admitted, gave an account of my behaviour to the sixcriminals above-mentioned; which made so favourable an impression in thebreast of his majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperialcommission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine hundred yardsround the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, andother victuals for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantityof bread, and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, hismajesty gave assignments upon his treasury:—for this prince lives chieflyupon his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising anysubsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars attheir own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred personsto be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of my door. Itwas likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should make me a suit ofclothes, after the fashion of the country; that six of his majesty’sgreatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in their language;and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the nobility andtroops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my sight, to accustomthemselves to me. All these orders were duly put in execution; and inabout three weeks I made a great progress in learning their language;during which time the emperor frequently honoured me with his visits, andwas pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We began already toconverse together in some sort; and the first words I learnt, were toexpress my desire “that he would please give me my liberty;” which Ievery day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be thought on without theadvice of his council, and that first I must _lumos kelmin pesso desmarlon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour, the good opinion of himself andhis subjects. ” He desired “I would not take it ill, if he gave orders tocertain proper officers to search me; for probably I might carry about meseveral weapons, which must needs be dangerous things, if they answeredthe bulk of so prodigious a person. ” I said, “His majesty should besatisfied; for I was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets beforehim. ” This I delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the laws of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of hisofficers; that he knew this could not be done without my consent andassistance; and he had so good an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I left the country, or paid for at the rate whichI would set upon them. ” I took up the two officers in my hands, put themfirst into my coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind shouldbe searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of noconsequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silverwatch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. Thesegentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exactinventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired Iwould set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. Thisinventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word, asfollows:

 “_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain” (for so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_, ) “after the strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty’s court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which they meant my breeches, ) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be real gold, must be of immense value. 

 “Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your majesty’s subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands. 

 “This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign. 

 CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK. ”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me, although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. Hefirst called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In themean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who thenattended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrowsjust ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes werewholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was, in mostparts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave ashout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and thereflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in myhand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less dauntedthan I could expect: he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, andcast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the endof my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow ironpillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at hisdesire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and chargingit only with powder, which, by the closeness of my pouch, happened toescape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against which all prudentmariners take special care to provide, ) I first cautioned the emperor notto be afraid, and then I let it off in the air. The astonishment herewas much greater than at the sight of my scimitar. Hundreds fell down asif they had been struck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood hisground, could not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both mypistols in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouchof powder and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept fromfire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up hisimperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, whichthe emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallestyeomen of the guards to bear it on a pole upon their shoulders, asdraymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continualnoise it made, and the motion of the minute-hand, which he could easilydiscern; for their sight is much more acute than ours: he asked theopinions of his learned men about it, which were various and remote, asthe reader may well imagine without my repeating; although indeed I couldnot very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my silver and coppermoney, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones;my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief andjournal-book. My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed incarriages to his majesty’s stores; but the rest of my goods were returnedme. 

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped theirsearch, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use forthe weakness of mine eyes, ) a pocket perspective, and some other littleconveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I did notthink myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended they might belost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession. 

CHAPTER III. 

The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a veryuncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput described. Theauthor has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions. 

My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and hiscourt, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began toconceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took allpossible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The nativescame, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I wouldsometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand; and atlast the boys and girls would venture to come and play at hide-and-seekin my hair. I had now made a good progress in understanding and speakingthe language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me withseveral of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I haveknown, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted with none somuch as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which Ishall desire liberty, with the reader’s patience, to enlarge a little. 

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates forgreat employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in thisart from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberaleducation. When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace(which often happens, ) five or six of those candidates petition theemperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope;and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show theirskill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. I haveseen him do the summerset several times together, upon a trencher fixedon a rope which is no thicker than a common packthread in England. Myfriend Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, is, in myopinion, if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer; the rest ofthe great officers are much upon a par. 

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof greatnumbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates breaka limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselvesare commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excelthemselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly oneof them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three. Iwas assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap wouldinfallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, thataccidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall. 

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before theemperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. Theemperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads areproposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind todistinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performedin his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are toundergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such asI have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of thenew or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both endsparallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward andforward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first ministerthe other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoeverperforms his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leapingand creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is givento the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twiceround about the middle; and you see few great persons about this courtwho are not adorned with one of these girdles. 

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been dailyled before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feetwithout starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I held iton the ground; and one of the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious leap. I hadthe good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extraordinarymanner. I desired he would order several sticks of two feet high, andthe thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon hismajesty commanded the master of his woods to give directions accordingly;and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many carriages, drawn byeight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks, and fixing themfirmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet and a halfsquare, I took four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to thenine sticks that stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it wastight as the top of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising aboutfive inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of hisbest horses twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, inmy hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercisethem. As soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the bestmilitary discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them andtheir horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so muchdelighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated severaldays, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of command;and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let mehold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she wasable to take a full view of the whole performance. It was my goodfortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments; only oncea fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with hishoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, heoverthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell was strained inthe left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I repaired myhandkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust to thestrength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises. 

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I wasentertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an expressto inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the placewhere I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on thearound, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as hismajesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man; thatit was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it lay onthe grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it severaltimes; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had got to thetop, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that itwas hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be somethingbelonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased, they wouldundertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently knew what theymeant, and was glad at heart to receive this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I was in suchconfusion, that before I came to the place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was rowing, and hadstuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; thestring, as I conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I neverobserved, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated hisimperial majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon aspossible, describing to him the use and the nature of it: and the nextday the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; theyhad bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and half of the edge, andfastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a long cord tothe harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above half an Englishmile; but, the ground in that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage than I expected. 

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part ofhis army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desiredI would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as Iconveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an oldexperienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops inclose order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikesadvanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousandhorse. His majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldierin his march should observe the strictest decency with regard to myperson; which however could not prevent some of the younger officers fromturning up their eyes as they passed under me: and, to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition, that they affordedsome opportunities for laughter and admiration. 

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that hismajesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then ina full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But itwas carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm, very much in hismaster’s confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a moroseand sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to comply; butprevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I should be setfree, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. Thesearticles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in person attended by twounder-secretaries, and several persons of distinction. After they wereread, I was demanded to swear to the performance of them; first in themanner of my own country, and afterwards in the method prescribed bytheir laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my left hand, and toplace the middle finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and mythumb on the tip of my right ear. But because the reader may be curiousto have some idea of the style and manner of expression peculiar to thatpeople, as well as to know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as nearas I was able, which I here offer to the public. 

“Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mightyEmperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose dominionsextend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in circumference) tothe extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than thesons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikesagainst the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their knees;pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter: his most sublime majesty proposes to theman-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the followingarticles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to perform:—

“1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without ourlicense under our great seal. 

“2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without ourexpress order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hourswarning to keep within doors. 

“3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal highroads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of corn. 

“4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not totrample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses, orcarriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their ownconsent. 

“5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountainshall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a sixdays journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back (ifso required) safe to our imperial presence. 

“6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing toinvade us. 

“7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, beaiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain greatstones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other ourroyal buildings. 

“8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver in anexact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation ofhis own paces round the coast. 

“Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drinksufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access toour royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace atBelfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign. ”

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness andcontent, although some of them were not so honourable as I could havewished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, thehigh-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was atfull liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to be byat the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myselfat his majesty’s feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after manygracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall notrepeat, he added, “that he hoped I should prove a useful servant, andwell deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon me, or mightdo for the future. ”

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of therecovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity ofmeat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Sometime after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on thatdeterminate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians, havingtaken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it toexceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from thesimilarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 oftheirs, and consequently would require as much food as was necessary tosupport that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive anidea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the prudent and exacteconomy of so great a prince. 

CHAPTER IV. 

Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with theemperor’s palace. A conversation between the author and a principalsecretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author’s offers toserve the emperor in his wars. 

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that Imight have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperoreasily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to theinhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by proclamation, ofmy design to visit the town. The wall which encompassed it is two feetand a half high, and at least eleven inches broad, so that a coach andhorses may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strongtowers at ten feet distance. I stepped over the great western gate, andpassed very gently, and sidling, through the two principal streets, onlyin my short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of thehouses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmostcircumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might remain inthe streets, although the orders were very strict, that all people shouldkeep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret windows and tops ofhouses were so crowded with spectators, that I thought in all my travelsI had not seen a more populous place. The city is an exact square, eachside of the wall being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as Ipassed, are from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable ofholding five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to fivestories: the shops and markets well provided. 

The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two greatstreets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty feetdistance from the buildings. I had his majesty’s permission to step overthis wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the palace, Icould easily view it on every side. The outward court is a square offorty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the royalapartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremelydifficult; for the great gates, from one square into another, were buteighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of theouter court were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me tostride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the wallswere strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the sametime the emperor had a great desire that I should see the magnificence ofhis palace; but this I was not able to do till three days after, which Ispent in cutting down with my knife some of the largest trees in theroyal park, about a hundred yards distant from the city. Of these treesI made two stools, each about three feet high, and strong enough to bearmy weight. The people having received notice a second time, I went againthrough the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When Icame to the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took theother in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down onthe space between the first and second court, which was eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently from one stool to theother, and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By thiscontrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying down upon my side, Iapplied my face to the windows of the middle stories, which were leftopen on purpose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that can beimagined. There I saw the empress and the young princes, in theirseveral lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperialmajesty was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out ofthe window her hand to kiss. 

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of thiskind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almostready for the press; containing a general description of this empire, from its first erection, through along series of princes; with aparticular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, andreligion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at presentbeing only to relate such events and transactions as happened to thepublic or to myself during a residence of about nine months in thatempire. 

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach towait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hours audience; whichI readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, aswell as of the many good offices he had done me during my solicitationsat court. I offered to lie down that he might the more convenientlyreach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand duringour conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty; said “hemight pretend to some merit in it;” but, however, added, “that if it hadnot been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I mightnot have obtained it so soon. For, ” said he, “as flourishing a conditionas we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mightyevils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion, by amost potent enemy, from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there have been two struggling partiesin this empire, under the names of _Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, fromthe high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguishthemselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are mostagreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this be, his majestyhas determined to make use only of low heels in the administration of thegovernment, and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot butobserve; and particularly that his majesty’s imperial heels are lower atleast by a _drurr_ than any of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about thefourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between these two partiesrun so high, that they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with eachother. We compute the _Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us innumber; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperialhighness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards the highheels; at least we can plainly discover that one of his heels is higherthan the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midstof these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from theisland of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what wehave heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in theworld inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophersare in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from themoon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred mortalsof your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle ofhis majesty’s dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand moonsmake no mention of any other regions than the two great empires ofLilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going totell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moonspast. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon thelarger end; but his present majesty’s grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his fatherpublished an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, tobreak the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented thislaw, that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised onthat account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs ofBlefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refugeto that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand persons have atseveral times suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs atthe smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been published uponthis controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have been longforbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holdingemployments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors ofBlefusca did frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us ofmaking a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrineof our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of theBlundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be amere strain upon the text; for the words are these: ‘that all truebelievers break their eggs at the convenient end. ’ And which is theconvenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man’sconscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate todetermine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in theemperor of Blefuscu’s court, and so much private assistance andencouragement from their party here at home, that a bloody war has beencarried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons, with varioussuccess; during which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much agreater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of ourbest seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy isreckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have nowequipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a descent uponus; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence in your valour andstrength, has commanded me to lay this account of his affairs beforeyou. ”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and tolet him know, “that I thought it would not become me, who was aforeigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard ofmy life, to defend his person and state against all invaders. ”

CHAPTER V. 

The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A hightitle of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from theemperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress’s apartment on fireby an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the palace. 

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east ofLilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight hundredyards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intendedinvasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear ofbeing discovered, by some of the enemy’s ships, who had received nointelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having beenstrictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargolaid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to hismajesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet; which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sailwith the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen uponthe depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me, thatin the middle, at high-water, it was seventy _glumgluffs_ deep, which isabout six feet of European measure; and the rest of it fifty _glumgluffs_at most. I walked towards the north-east coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I took out my small perspectiveglass, and viewed the enemy’s fleet at anchor, consisting of about fiftymen of war, and a great number of transports: I then came back to myhouse, and gave orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantityof the strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick aspackthread and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle. Itrebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I twistedthree of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back to thenorth-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and stockings, walkedinto the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an hour before highwater. I waded with what haste I could, and swam in the middle aboutthirty yards, till I felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less thanhalf an hour. The enemy was so frightened when they saw me, that theyleaped out of their ships, and swam to shore, where there could not befewer than thirty thousand souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cordstogether at the end. While I was thus employed, the enemy dischargedseveral thousand arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. Mygreatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have infalliblylost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept, among otherlittle necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as Iobserved before, had escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took outand fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went onboldly with my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which struckagainst the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all thehooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a shipwould stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that theboldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord, andleaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife thecables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two hundred shots in myface and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the cables, to which myhooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of the enemy’s largestmen of war after me. 

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me cut thecables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift orfall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole fleet movingin order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such a scream ofgrief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out the arrowsthat stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the same ointmentthat was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. Ithen took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide wasa little fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and arrivedsafe at the royal port of Lilliput. 

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issueof this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a largehalf-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded me to bedrowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in a hostile manner:but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel growing shallowerevery step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and holding upthe end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loudvoice, “Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!” This great princereceived me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and created me a_nardac_ upon the spot, which is the highest title of honour among them. 

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing allthe rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so unmeasureable isthe ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less thanreducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling thatpeople to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would remainthe sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert himfrom this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy aswell as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would never be aninstrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery. ” And, whenthe matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry wereof my opinion. 

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes andpolitics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me. Hementioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told thatsome of the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of myopinion; but others, who were my secret enemies, could not forbear someexpressions which, by a side-wind, reflected on me. And from this timebegan an intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two months, andhad like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight arethe greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with arefusal to gratify their passions. 

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy fromBlefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded, uponconditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall nottrouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of aboutfive hundred persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable tothe grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business. Whentheir treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by thecredit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, theirexcellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my valourand generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their master’sname, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars. 

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to theirinfinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the honourto present my most humble respects to the emperor their master, therenown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world withadmiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before Ireturned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honourto see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on theBlefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I couldperceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till Ihad a whisper from a certain person, “that Flimnap and Bolgolam hadrepresented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark ofdisaffection;” from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And thiswas the first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts andministers. 

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by aninterpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from eachother as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon theantiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowedcontempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, standing upon theadvantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them todeliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputiantongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse oftrade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception ofexiles which is mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order topolish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners;there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwellin the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both tongues; asI found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperorof Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes, through the maliceof my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate inits proper place. 

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which Irecovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon account oftheir being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme necessityhave forced me to submit. But being now a _nardac_ of the highest rankin that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my dignity, andthe emperor (to do him justice), never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing hismajesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I wasalarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door; bywhich, being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard theword _Burglum_ repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately tothe palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was on fire, by thecarelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading aromance. I got up in an instant; and orders being given to clear the waybefore me, and it being likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to getto the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they hadalready applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were wellprovided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These bucketswere about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people supplied mewith them as fast as they could: but the flame was so violent that theydid little good. I might easily have stifled it with my coat, which Iunfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only in my leathernjerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable; and thismagnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of anexpedient. I had, the evening before, drunk plentifully of a mostdelicious wine called _glimigrim_, (the Blefuscudians call it _flunec_, but ours is esteemed the better sort, ) which is very diuretic. By theluckiest chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part ofit. The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and bylabouring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; whichI voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest ofthat noble pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved fromdestruction. 

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting tocongratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a veryeminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty mightresent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamentallaws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a littlecomforted by a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders tothe grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:” which, however, Icould not obtain; and I was privately assured, “that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to themost distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildingsshould never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chiefconfidents could not forbear vowing revenge. ”

CHAPTER VI. 

Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; themanner of educating their children. The author’s way of living in thatcountry. His vindication of a great lady. 

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particulartreatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the curiousreader with some general ideas. As the common size of the natives issomewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact proportion in allother animals, as well as plants and trees: for instance, the tallesthorses and oxen are between four and five inches in height, the sheep aninch and half, more or less: their geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyesof the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see withgreat exactness, but at no great distance. And, to show the sharpness oftheir sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased withobserving a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common fly;and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those inthe great royal park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with myfist clenched. The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but thisI leave to the reader’s imagination. 

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for manyages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner ofwriting is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, likethe Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians, norfrom up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of thepaper to the other, like ladies in England. 

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because theyhold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to riseagain; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) willturn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, befound ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess theabsurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, incompliance to the vulgar. 

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if theywere not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I shouldbe tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to bewished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relates toinformers. All crimes against the state, are punished here with theutmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainlyto appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to anignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person isquadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger heunderwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the chargeshe has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be deficient, itis largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also confers on him somepublic mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his innocencethrough the whole city. 

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldomfail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods fromthieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and, sinceit is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of buyingand selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted andconnived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is alwaysundone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was onceinterceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master ofa great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with;and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it wasonly a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offeras a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I hadlittle to say in return, farther than the common answer, that differentnations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed. {330}

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon whichall government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be put inpractice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bringsufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of his countryfor seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, according tohis quality or condition of life, with a proportionable sum of money outof a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of_snilpall_, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not descend tohis posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policyamong us, when I told them that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account that the image ofJustice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six eyes, twobefore, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify circumspection;with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in herleft, to show she is more disposed to reward than to punish. 

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to goodmorals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary tomankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding isfitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended tomake the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended onlyby a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three bornin an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, tobe in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues, assisted byexperience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service ofhis country, except where a course of study is required. But theythought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied bysuperior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put intosuch dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the public weal, as thepractices of a man, whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who hadgreat abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions. 

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a manincapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow themselvesto be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can bemore absurd than for a prince to employ such men as disown the authorityunder which he acts. 

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood tomean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing onthe ropes, or badges of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks andcreeping under them, the reader is to observe, that they were firstintroduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew tothe present height by the gradual increase of party and faction. 

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been insome other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes illreturns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest ofmankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such aman is not fit to live. 

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differextremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female isfounded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continuethe species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women arejoined together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence; andthat their tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like naturalprinciple: for which reason they will never allow that a child is underany obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother forbringing him into the world; which, considering the miseries of humanlife, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed. Uponthese, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are thelast of all others to be trusted with the education of their ownchildren; and therefore they have in every town public nurseries, whereall parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send theirinfants of both sexes to be reared and educated, when they come to theage of twenty moons, at which time they are supposed to have somerudiments of docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited todifferent qualities, and both sexes. They have certain professors wellskilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits therank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and then of thefemale. 

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided withgrave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothesand food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in theprinciples of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, andlove of their country; they are always employed in some business, exceptin the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two hoursfor diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by mentill four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who areaged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menialoffices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but gotogether in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, andalways in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies; wherebythey avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice, to which ourchildren are subject. Their parents are suffered to see them only twicea year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss thechild at meeting and parting; but a professor, who always stands by onthose occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondlingexpressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like. 

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of achild, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor’s officers. 

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, andhandicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only thosedesigned for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old, whereasthose of persons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is graduallylessened for the last three years. 

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated muchlike the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their ownsex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they cometo dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found thatthese nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with frightful orfoolish stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids amongus, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for ayear, and banished for life to the most desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being cowards and fools asthe men, and despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency andcleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference in their educationmade by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the femaleswere not altogether so robust; and that some rules were given themrelating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was enjoinedthem: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality, a wife should bealways a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always beyoung. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is themarriageable age, their parents or guardians take them home, with greatexpressions of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears ofthe young lady and her companions. 

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children areinstructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their severaldegrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven. 

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged, besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return tothe steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to bea portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in theirexpenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be moreunjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bringchildren into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on thepublic. As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate acertain sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these fundsare always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice. 

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their businessbeing only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their educationis of little consequence to the public: but the old and diseased amongthem, are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown in thisempire. 

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some accountof my domestics, and my manner of living in this country, during aresidence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head mechanicallyturned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself atable and chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees in the royalpark. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make me shirts, andlinen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind theycould get; which, however, they were forced to quilt together in severalfolds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen isusually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstressestook my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, andanother at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held by theend, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inchlong. Then they measured my right thumb, and desired no more; for by amathematical computation, that twice round the thumb is once round thewrist, and so on to the neck and the waist, and by the help of my oldshirt, which I displayed on the ground before them for a pattern, theyfitted me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the samemanner to make me clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking mymeasure. I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to myneck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-linefrom my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of my coat:but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have beenable to hold them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies inEngland, only that mine were all of a colour. 

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient hutsbuilt about my house, where they and their families lived, and preparedme two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placedthem on the table: a hundred more attended below on the ground, some withdishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and other liquors slung ontheir shoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in avery ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a wellin Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel oftheir liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, buttheir beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have beenforced to make three bites of it; but this is rare. My servants wereastonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do theleg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, andI confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take uptwenty or thirty at the end of my knife. 

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired“that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of the bloodof both sexes, might have the happiness, ” as he was pleased to call it, “of dining with me. ” They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairsof state, upon my table, just over against me, with their guards aboutthem. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with hiswhite staff; and I observed he often looked on me with a sourcountenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court withadmiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit fromhis majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to hismaster. That minister had always been my secret enemy, though heoutwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness of hisnature. He represented to the emperor “the low condition of histreasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; thatexchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. Below par; thatI had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_” (theirgreatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) “and, upon the whole, that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasionof dismissing me. ”

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, whowas an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy tobe jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, whoinformed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my person;and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came privately tomy lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased to treat mewith all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came oftento my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in thecoach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and someparticular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies of thecourt. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at any timesaw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in it. Onthose occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom was to goimmediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up thecoach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were sixhorses, the postillion always unharnessed four, ) and place them on atable, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four coaches and horses atonce on my table, full of company, while I sat in my chair, leaning myface towards them; and when I was engaged with one set, the coachmenwould gently drive the others round my table. I have passed many anafternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I defy thetreasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let them make thebest of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me_incognito_, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by expresscommand of his imperial majesty, as I have before related. I should nothave dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been a pointwherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to saynothing of my own; though I then had the honour to be a _nardac_, whichthe treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is only a_glumglum_, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to aduke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. Thesefalse informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by anaccident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for sometime an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at lastundeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, andfound my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was, indeed, too much governed by that favourite. 

CHAPTER VII. 

The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason, makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there. 

Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may beproper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for twomonths forming against me. 

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I wasunqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard and readenough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but neverexpected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so remote acountry, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from those inEurope. 

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor ofBlefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been veryserviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of hisimperial majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a closechair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmenwere dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into mycoat-pocket: and, giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I wasindisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed thechair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’scountenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired “Iwould hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my honourand my life. ” His speech was to the following effect, for I took notesof it as soon as he left me:—

“You are to know, ” said he, “that several committees of council have beenlately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it is buttwo days since his majesty came to a full resolution. 

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam” (_galbet_, or high-admiral)“has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your arrival. Hisoriginal reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased since your greatsuccess against Blefuscu, by which his glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the high-treasurer, whose enmityagainst you is notorious on account of his lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand justiciary, have preparedarticles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capitalcrimes. ”

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits andinnocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me to besilent, and thus proceeded:—

“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procuredinformation of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles; whereinI venture my head for your service. 

 “‘_Articles of Impeachment against_ QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (_the Man-Mountain_. )

 ARTICLE I. 

 “‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc. Against the duty, etc. 

 ARTICLE II. 

 “‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would not immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an innocent people. 

 ARTICLE III. 

 “‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty’s court, he, the said Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the said ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open war against his said majesty. 

 ARTICLE IV. 

 “‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in open war with his imperial majesty aforesaid. ’

“There are some other articles; but these are the most important, ofwhich I have read you an abstract. 

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed thathis majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging theservices you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes. The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the mostpainful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night, and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed withpoisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of yourservants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on yourshirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and diein the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so thatfor a long time there was a majority against you; but his majestyresolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off thechamberlain. 

“Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by theemperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and thereinjustified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your crimes tobe great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most commendablevirtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was so well known to theworld, that perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial;however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would freelyoffer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of yourservices, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please tospare your life, and only give orders to put out both your eyes, hehumbly conceived, that by this expedient justice might in some measure besatisfied, and all the world would applaud the lenity of the emperor, aswell as the fair and generous proceedings of those who have the honour tobe his counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment toyour bodily strength, by which you might still be useful to his majesty;that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us;that the fear you had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty inbringing over the enemy’s fleet, and it would be sufficient for you tosee by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more. 

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the wholeboard. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper, but, risingup in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to give hisopinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the services you hadperformed were, by all true reasons of state, the great aggravation ofyour crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the fire by dischargeof urine in her majesty’s apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an inundation by the same means, to drownthe whole palace; and the same strength which enabled you to bring overthe enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to carry itback; that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-endian in yourheart; and, as treason begins in the heart, before it appears inovert-acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that account, and thereforeinsisted you should be put to death. 

“The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits hismajesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you, whichwould soon grow insupportable; that the secretary’s expedient of puttingout your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this evil, that itwould probably increase it, as is manifest from the common practice ofblinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed the faster, and grewsooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully convinced of your guilt, which wasa sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal proofsrequired by the strict letter of the law. 

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss ofyour eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard again, inanswer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the great chargehis majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his excellency, who hadthe sole disposal of the emperor’s revenue, might easily provide againstthat evil, by gradually lessening your establishment; by which, for wantof sufficient for you would grow weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consequently, decay, and consume in a few months; neither would thestench of your carcass be then so dangerous, when it should become morethan half diminished; and immediately upon your death five or sixthousand of his majesty’s subjects might, in two or three days, cut yourflesh from your bones, take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distantparts, to prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument ofadmiration to posterity. 

“Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair wascompromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of starving youby degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out youreyes was entered on the books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam theadmiral, who, being a creature of the empress, was perpetually instigatedby her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne perpetualmalice against you, on account of that infamous and illegal method youtook to extinguish the fire in her apartment. 

“In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to yourhouse, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then tosignify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council, wherebyyou are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his majesty doesnot question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of hismajesty’s surgeons will attend, in order to see the operation wellperformed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into the balls ofyour eyes, as you lie on the ground. 

“I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoidsuspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came. ”

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts andperplexities of mind. 

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (verydifferent, as I have been assured, from the practice of former times, )that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratifythe monarch’s resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperoralways made a speech to his whole council, expressing his great lenityand tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world. Thisspeech was immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did anything terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his majesty’smercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises were enlargedand insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the sufferermore innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having never beendesigned for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so ill ajudge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour of thissentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorousthan gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial, for, although Icould not deny the facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hopedthey would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life perused manystate-trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thoughtfit to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in socritical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I wasstrongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the wholestrength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily withstones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that projectwith horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the emperor, thefavours I received from him, and the high title of _nardac_ he conferredupon me. Neither had I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers, topersuade myself, that his majesty’s present seventies acquitted me of allpast obligations. 

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may incursome censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the preserving ofmine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great rashness and wantof experience; because, if I had then known the nature of princes andministers, which I have since observed in many other courts, and theirmethods of treating criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should, withgreat alacrity and readiness, have submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having his imperialmajesty’s license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, Itook this opportunity, before the three days were elapsed, to send aletter to my friend the secretary, signifying my resolution of settingout that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that side of the island whereour fleet lay. I seized a large man of war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (togetherwith my coverlet, which I carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, between wading and swimming arrived at the royalport of Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me: they lent me twoguides to direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. Iheld them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the gate, and desired them “to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, andlet him know, I there waited his majesty’s command. ” I had an answer inabout an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the royal family, and greatofficers of the court, was coming out to receive me. ” I advanced ahundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted from their horses, theempress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they werein any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty’s andthe empress’s hands. I told his majesty, “that I was come according tomy promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to have thehonour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any service in mypower, consistent with my duty to my own prince;” not mentioning a wordof my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular information of it, andmight suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could Ireasonably conceive that the emperor would discover the secret, while Iwas out of his power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived. 

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of myreception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so greata prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet. 

CHAPTER VIII. 

The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country. 

Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-eastcoast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes andstockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I found the object toapproach nearer by force of the tide; and then plainly saw it to be areal boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven from aship. Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the city, and desiredhis imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest vessels he hadleft, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under thecommand of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went backthe shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the boat. Ifound the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all providedwith cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I came within ahundred yards off the boat, after which I was forced to swim till I gotup to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord, which I fastened to ahole in the fore-part of the boat, and the other end to a man of war; butI found all my labour to little purpose; for, being out of my depth, Iwas not able to work. In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, andpush the boat forward, as often as I could, with one of my hands; and thetide favouring me, I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chinand feel the ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave theboat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than myarm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being over, I took out myother cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and fastened themfirst to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels which attended me; thewind being favourable, the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrivedwithin forty yards of the shore; and, waiting till the tide was out, Igot dry to the boat, and by the assistance of two thousand men, withropes and engines, I made a shift to turn it on its bottom, and found itwas but little damaged. 

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by thehelp of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my boat tothe royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people appearedupon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my native country;and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to depart;” which, after some kindexpostulations, he was pleased to grant. 

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of anyexpress relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But Iwas afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I wasonly gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to thelicense he had given me, which was well known at our court, and wouldreturn in a few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at last inpain at my long absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and therest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy ofthe articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to themonarch of Blefuscu, “the great lenity of his master, who was content topunish me no farther than with the loss of mine eyes; that I had fledfrom justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I should be deprivedof my title of _nardac_, and declared a traitor. ” The envoy furtheradded, “that in order to maintain the peace and amity between bothempires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu would giveorders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to bepunished as a traitor. ”

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned ananswer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, “that as forsending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that, although Ihad deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me formany good offices I had done him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found aprodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he hadgiven orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and hehoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportablean encumbrance. ”

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch ofBlefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same time(but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I wouldcontinue in his service; wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet Iresolved never more to put any confidence in princes or ministers, whereI could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due acknowledgmentsfor his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I toldhim, “that since fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in myway, I was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be anoccasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs. ” Neither did Ifind the emperor at all displeased; and I discovered, by a certainaccident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and so were most of hisministers. 

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner thanI intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very readilycontributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two sails to myboat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen folds of theirstrongest linen together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest oftheirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, bythe sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the tallow of threehundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at incrediblepains in cutting down some of the largest timber-trees, for oars andmasts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his majesty’sship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done therough work. 

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his majesty’scommands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family came out ofthe palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which he verygraciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred _sprugs_a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I putimmediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. Theceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with atthis time. 

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three hundredsheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat readydressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows andtwo bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them intomy own country, and propagate the breed. And to feed them on board, Ihad a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken adozen of the natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no meanspermit; and, besides a diligent search into my pockets, his majestyengaged my honour “not to carry away any of his subjects, although withtheir own consent and desire. ”

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on thetwenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning; and when Ihad gone about four-leagues to the northward, the wind being atsouth-east, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half aleague to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on thelee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took somerefreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I conjectured atleast six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun was up; andheaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the same course thatI had done the day before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands which I hadreason to believe lay to the north-east of Van Diemen’s Land. Idiscovered nothing all that day; but upon the next, about three in theafternoon, when I had by my computation made twenty-four leagues fromBlefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the south-east; my course was dueeast. I hailed her, but could get no answer; yet I found I gained uponher, for the wind slackened. I made all the sail I could, and in half anhour she spied me, then hung out her ancient, and discharged a gun. Itis not easy to express the joy I was in, upon the unexpected hope of oncemore seeing my beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. Theship slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six inthe evening, September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to see herEnglish colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, and goton board with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was anEnglish merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South seas;the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and anexcellent sailor. 

We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about fiftymen in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one PeterWilliams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentlemantreated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place Icame from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words, buthe thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had disturbedmy head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. Ithen showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu, togetherwith his majesty’s picture at full length, and some other rarities ofthat country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds _sprugs_ each, andpromised, when we arrived in England, to make him a present of a cow anda sheep big with young. 

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs onthe 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats onboard carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a hole, pickedclean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe ashore, and setthem a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where the fineness of thegrass made them feed very heartily, though I had always feared thecontrary: neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long avoyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a considerable profit byshowing my cattle to many persons of quality and others: and before Ibegan my second voyage, I sold them for six hundred pounds. Since mylast return I find the breed is considerably increased, especially thesheep, which I hope will prove much to the advantage of the woollenmanufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces. 

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable desireof seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to continue no longer. Ileft fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good houseat Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and partin goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle John had leftme an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a-year; and Ihad a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me asmuch more; so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family upon theparish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at thegrammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty (who is now wellmarried, and has children) was then at her needle-work. I took leave ofmy wife, and boy and girl, with tears on both sides, and went on boardthe Adventure, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool, commander. But my account of thisvoyage must be referred to the Second Part of my Travels. 

PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG. 

CHAPTER I. 

A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the authorgoes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized byone of the natives, and carried to a farmer’s house. His reception, withseveral accidents that happened there. A description of the inhabitants. 

Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restlesslife, in two months after my return, I again left my native country, andtook shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in theAdventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound forSurat. We had a very prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape ofGood Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, weunshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick ofan ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then setsail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar; buthaving got northward of that island, and to about five degrees southlatitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a constantequal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of December tothe beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with muchgreater violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so for twentydays together: during which time, we were driven a little to the east ofthe Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, asour captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of May, at which timethe wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat I was not a littlerejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in the navigation ofthose seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which accordinglyhappened the day following: for the southern wind, called the southernmonsoon, began to set in. 

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and stoodby to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked the gunswere all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so wethought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. Wereefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the helmwas hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the foredown-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and gotthe sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was avery fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled offupon the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. Wewould not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scuddedbefore the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being aloft, theship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea, seeing wehad sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen, main-top-sail, and thefore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east, the wind was atsouth-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard, we cast off ourweather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and hauled forward bythe weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed them, and hauledover the mizen tack to windward, and kept her full and by as near as shewould lie. 

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west, we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to theeast, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part ofthe world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress forwater. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turnmore northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west part ofGreat Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea. 

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered land. Onthe 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or continent (for weknew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a small neck of landjutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of aboveone hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league of this creek, and ourcaptain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the long-boat, with vesselsfor water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make what discoveries I could. When wecame to land we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of inhabitants. Ourmen therefore wandered on the shore to find out some fresh water near thesea, and I walked alone about a mile on the other side, where I observedthe country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeingnothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down towards thecreek; and the sea being full in my view, I saw our men already got intothe boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was going to holla afterthem, although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a hugecreature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could: he waded notmuch deeper than his knees, and took prodigious strides: but our men hadthe start of him half a league, and, the sea thereabouts being full ofsharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not able to overtake the boat. ThisI was afterwards told, for I durst not stay to see the issue of theadventure; but ran as fast as I could the way I first went, and thenclimbed up a steep hill, which gave me some prospect of the country. Ifound it fully cultivated; but that which first surprised me was thelength of the grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept forhay, was about twenty feet high. 

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to theinhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I walkedon for some time, but could see little on either side, it being now nearharvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walkingto the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge of at leastone hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I couldmake no computation of their altitude. There was a stile to pass fromthis field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone to cross overwhen you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb thisstile, because every step was six-feet high, and the upper stone abouttwenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when Idiscovered one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towardsthe stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing ourboat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took aboutten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck withthe utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking back into the next fieldon the right hand, and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder thana speaking-trumpet: but the noise was so high in the air, that at first Icertainly thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, likehimself, came towards him with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hookabout the largeness of six scythes. These people were not so well cladas the first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, uponsome words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but was forced tomove with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimesnot above a foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixtthem. However, I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part ofthe field where the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it wasimpossible for me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears sostrong and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief anddispair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might thereend my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. Ilamented my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends and relations. In this terribleagitation of mind, I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whoseinhabitants looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared inthe world; where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, andperform those other actions, which will be recorded for ever in thechronicles of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it mustprove to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one singleLilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the leastof my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more savageand cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but to be amorsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous barbarians thatshould happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than bycomparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputiansfind some nation, where the people were as diminutive with respect tothem, as they were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigiousrace of mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of theworld, whereof we have yet no discovery. 

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with thesereflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten yards of theridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I should besquashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud asfear could make me: whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, lookinground about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on theground. He considered awhile, with the caution of one who endeavours tolay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall notbe able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have sometimes donewith a weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me behind, bythe middle, between his fore-finger and thumb, and brought me withinthree yards of his eyes, that he might behold my shape more perfectly. Iguessed his meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much presence ofmind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in theair above sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched mysides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was toraise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in asupplicating posture, and to speak some words in a humble melancholytone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I apprehended everymoment that he would dash me against the ground, as we usually do anylittle hateful animal, which we have a mind to destroy. But my good starwould have it, that he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, andbegan to look upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronouncearticulate words, although he could not understand them. In the meantime I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turningmy head towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, howcruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed toapprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put megently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who wasa substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the field. 

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an accountof me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw, aboutthe size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets of mycoat; which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that naturehad given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature thatresembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, butI got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to letthose people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in acircle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted upmy hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could: I took apurse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly presented it to him. Hereceived it on the palm of his hand, then applied it close to his eye tosee what it was, and afterwards turned it several times with the point ofa pin (which he took out of his sleeve, ) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. Ithen took the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty orthirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger uponhis tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces, and then another; buthe seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to putthem again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times, I thought it best to do. 

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my ears likethat of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answeredas loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear withintwo yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible toeach other. He then sent his servants to their work, and taking hishandkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his lefthand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm upward, making mea sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a footin thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder ofwhich he lapped me up to the head for further security, and in thismanner carried me home to his house. There he called his wife, andshowed me to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in England doat the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she had a while seenmy behaviour, and how well I observed the signs her husband made, she wassoon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender of me. 

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It wasonly one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of ahusbandman, ) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. Thecompany were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an oldgrandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at somedistance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from thefloor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from theedge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbledsome bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceedingdelight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which heldabout two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel withmuch difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank toher ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as I could inEnglish, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was almostdeafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and wasnot unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencherside; but as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened tostumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in muchconcern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners, )and waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had got nomischief by my fall. But advancing forward towards my master (as I shallhenceforth call him, ) his youngest son, who sat next to him, an arch boyof about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high inthe air, that I trembled every limb: but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box on the left ear, as would havefelled an European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be takenfrom the table. But being afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and wellremembering how mischievous all children among us naturally are tosparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, andpointing to the boy, made my master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father complied, and thelad took his seat again, whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me gently with it. 

In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped into her lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at work;and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of thatanimal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I computed bythe view of her head, and one of her paws, while her mistress was feedingand stroking her. The fierceness of this creature’s countenancealtogether discomposed me; though I stood at the farther end of thetable, above fifty feet off; and although my mistress held her fast, forfear she might give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But ithappened there was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of mewhen my master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have beenalways told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying ordiscovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way to make itpursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, to showno manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times beforethe very head of the cat, and came within half a yard of her; whereuponshe drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of me: I had lessapprehension concerning the dogs, whereof three or four came into theroom, as it is usual in farmers’ houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat tallerthan the mastiff, but not so large. 

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year oldin her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you mighthave heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory ofinfants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently seized me by themiddle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that theurchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have brokemy neck, if the mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, toquiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow vesselfilled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child’s waist:but all in vain; so that she was forced to apply the last remedy bygiving it suck. I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much asthe sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to comparewith, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, shape, andcolour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteenin circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of my head, andthe hue both of that and the dug, so varied with spots, pimples, andfreckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sightof her, she sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and Istanding on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of ourEnglish ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are ofour own size, and their defects not to be seen but through a magnifyingglass; where we find by experiment that the smoothest and whitest skinslook rough, and coarse, and ill-coloured. 

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those diminutivepeople appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon thissubject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend ofmine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when helooked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I tookhim up in my hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was at firsta very shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great holes in myskin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than thebristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several coloursaltogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave to say for myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburntby all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in thatemperor’s court, he used to tell me, “one had freckles; another too widea mouth; a third too large a nose;” nothing of which I was able todistinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think those vastcreatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features of mymaster’s countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld himfrom the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned. 

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as Icould discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge totake care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which mymistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with aclean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of aman-of-war. 

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife andchildren, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myselfalone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and abovetwo hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was goneabout her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eightyards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down;I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room where Ilay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under thesecircumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling backwardsand forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides, andone of them held his fore-feet at my collar; but I had the good fortuneto rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell down atmy feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit, I walkedgently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but infinitely morenimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt before I went tosleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. Imeasured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to drag the carcass offthe bed, where it lay still bleeding; I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck, I thoroughly despatched it. 

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody, ranand took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling, andmaking other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremelyrejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table, where Ishowed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one thingwhich another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to make mymistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor; whichafter she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express myselffarther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing several times. Thegood woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the garden, where she setme down. I went on one side about two hundred yards, and beckoning toher not to look or to follow me, I hid myself between two leaves ofsorrel, and there discharged the necessities of nature. 

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and thelike particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear togroveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to enlargehis thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public aswell as private life, which was my sole design in presenting this andother accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been chieflystudious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning or ofstyle. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an impressionon my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing itto paper I did not omit one material circumstance: however, upon a strictreview, I blotted out several passages. Of less moment which were in myfirst copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and trifling, whereoftravellers are often, perhaps not without justice, accused. 

CHAPTER II. 

A description of the farmer’s daughter. The author carried to amarket-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his journey. 

My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly partsfor her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in dressing herbaby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for meagainst night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, andthe drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was mybed all the time I staid with those people, though made more convenientby degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled offmy clothes before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though Inever gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. Shemade me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as could begot, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she constantlywashed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed to any thing, she told me thename of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was able to callfor whatever I had a mind to. She was very good-natured, and not aboveforty feet high, being little for her age. She gave me the name of_Grildrig_, which the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call _nanunculus_, the Italians_homunceletino_, and the English _mannikin_. To her I chiefly owe mypreservation in that country: we never parted while I was there; I calledher my _Glumdalclitch_, or little nurse; and should be guilty of greatingratitude, if I omitted this honourable mention of her care andaffection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requiteas she deserves, instead of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument ofher disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear. 

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that mymaster had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a_splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;which it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in alittle language of its own, had already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it wascalled, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and acomplexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three years old. Anotherfarmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, cameon a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I wasimmediately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked as I wascommanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to mymaster’s guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him_he was welcome_, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better;at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyesappeared like the full moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Ourpeople, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company inlaughing, at which the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out ofcountenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to mymisfortune, he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town, which was halfan hour’s riding, about two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessedthere was some mischief when I observed my master and his friendwhispering together, sometimes pointing at me; and my fears made me fancythat I overheard and understood some of their words. But the nextmorning Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, whichshe had cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me onher bosom, and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended somemischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze meto death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She hadalso observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded myhonour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed formoney as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said, herpapa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now shefound they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretendedto give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less concerned than mynurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I should one dayrecover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of being carried about for amonster, I considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, andthat such a misfortune could never be charged upon me as a reproach, ifever I should return to England, since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the same distress. 

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box thenext market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him hislittle daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was closeon every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a fewgimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put thequilt of her baby’s bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I wasterribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but ofhalf an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step andtrotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and fallingof a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey wassomewhat farther than from London to St. Alban’s. My master alighted atan inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with theinn-keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the_grultrud_, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strangecreature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a_splacnuck_ (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six feetlong, ) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature, couldspeak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks. 

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might benear three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stoolclose to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. Mymaster, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time tosee me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded; she asked mequestions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times tothe company, paid my humble respects, said _they were welcome_, and usedsome other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled withliquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank theirhealth, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after the manner offencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which Iexercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that dayshown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over againthe same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and vexation; forthose who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that the people wereready to break down the doors to come in. My master, for his owninterest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and toprevent danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as toput me out of every body’s reach. However, an unlucky school-boy aimed ahazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwiseit came with so much violence, that it would have infallibly knocked outmy brains, for it was almost as large as a small pumpkin, but I had thesatisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten, and turned out of theroom. 

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the nextmarket-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my firstjourney, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that Icould hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least threedays before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest athome, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearingof my fame, came to see me at my master’s own house. There could not befewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for the countryis very populous;) and my master demanded the rate of a full roomwhenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a single family;so that for some time I had but little ease every day of the week (exceptWednesday, which is their Sabbath, ) although I were not carried to thetown. 

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carryme to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having thereforeprovided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, andsettled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17thof August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for themetropolis, situate near the middle of that empire, and about threethousand miles distance from our house. My master made his daughterGlumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tiedabout her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softestcloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with herbaby’s bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and madeeverything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boyof the house, who rode after us with the luggage. 

My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and tostep out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village, orperson of quality’s house, where he might expect custom. We made easyjourneys, of not above seven or eight score miles a-day; forGlumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with thetrotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my owndesire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me fastby a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degreesbroader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly arivulet so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks inour journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides manyvillages, and private families. 

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in theirlanguage _Lorbrulgrud_, or Pride of the Universe. My master took alodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royalpalace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exactdescription of my person and parts. He hired a large room between threeand four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet fromthe edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown tentimes a-day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could nowspeak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, and couldmake a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch hadbeen my instructor while we were at home, and at leisure hours during ourjourney. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much larger than aSanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion: out of this she taught me myletters, and interpreted the words. 

CHAPTER III. 

The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master thefarmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty’sgreat scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is inhigh favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his owncountry. His quarrels with the queen’s dwarf. 

The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a veryconsiderable change in my health: the more my master got by me, the moreinsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reducedto a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thusreasoning and resolving with himself, a _sardral_, or gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither forthe diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter hadalready been to see me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, werebeyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, andbegged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but this graciousprincess held out her little finger towards me, after I was set on thetable, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with theutmost respect to my lip. She made me some general questions about mycountry and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as fewwords as I could. She asked, “whether I could be content to live atcourt?” I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly answered“that I was my master’s slave: but, if I were at my own disposal, Ishould be proud to devote my life to her majesty’s service. ” She thenasked my master, “whether he was willing to sell me at a good price?”He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to partwith me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered himon the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundredmoidores; but allowing for the proportion of all things between thatcountry and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly sogreat a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said tothe queen, “since I was now her majesty’s most humble creature andvassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tendedme with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, mightbe admitted into her service, and continue to be my nurse andinstructor. ”

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poorgirl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good service; towhich I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow. 

The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of theapartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty, “that Iowed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing out thebrains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in his fields: whichobligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had made in showing methrough half the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That thelife I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten timesmy strength. That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgeryof entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my masterhad not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have got socheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill-treated underthe protection of so great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of thecreation, so I hoped my late master’s apprehensions would appear to begroundless; for I already found my spirits revive, by the influence ofher most august presence. ”

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties andhesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiarto that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, whileshe was carrying me to court. 

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive ananimal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who wasthen retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity andaustere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked thequeen after a cold manner “how long it was since she grew fond of a_splacnuck_?” for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breastin her majesty’s right hand. But this princess, who has an infinite dealof wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire, andcommanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in avery few words: and Glumdalclitch who attended at the cabinet door, andcould not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmedall that had passed from my arrival at her father’s house. 

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, hadbeen educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics;yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect, before Ibegan to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clock-work (which is inthat country arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by someingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found what I deliveredto be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. Hewas by no means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner Icame into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted betweenGlumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make mesell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put several otherquestions to me, and still received rational answers: no otherwisedefective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in thelanguage, with some rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer’shouse, and did not suit the polite style of a court. 

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their weeklywaiting, according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen, afterthey had a while examined my shape with much nicety, were of differentopinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be producedaccording to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with acapacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing oftrees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, whichthey viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yetmost quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with someothers, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able tosupport myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which theyoffered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not possiblydo. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, orabortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, whoobserved my limbs to be perfect and finished; and that I had livedseveral years, as it was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof theyplainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would not allow meto be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees ofcomparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known inthat kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, theyconcluded unanimously, that I was only _relplum scalcath_, which isinterpreted literally _lusus naturæ_; a determination exactly agreeableto the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the oldevasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavouredin vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderfulsolution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of humanknowledge. 

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. Iapplied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I came from acountry which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my ownstature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend myself, and tofind sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could do here; which Itook for a full answer to those gentlemen’s arguments. ” To this theyonly replied with a smile of contempt, saying, “that the farmer hadinstructed me very well in my lesson. ” The king, who had a much betterunderstanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who bygood fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having therefore firstexamined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the younggirl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly betrue. He desired the queen to order that a particular care should betaken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continuein her office of tending me, because he observed we had a great affectionfor each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court:she had a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, amaid to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but thecare of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded herown cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for abedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, inthree weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, andtwelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a Londonbed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up anddown by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty’supholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it withher own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities, undertook to makeme two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quiltedon all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent anyaccident from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break theforce of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after severalattempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I haveknown a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s house in England. I made ashift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch mightlose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could begotten, to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after thefashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly theChinese, and are a very grave and decent habit. 

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine withoutme. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just ather left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool onthe floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entireset of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, inproportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I haveseen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a baby-house: these mylittle nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals asI wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with thequeen but the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and theyounger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a bitof meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and herdiversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the queen (who had indeedbut a weak stomach) took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen Englishfarmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a verynauseous sight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of afull-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as twotwelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead ata draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight uponthe handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in thesame proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out ofcuriosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen ofthose enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I hadnever till then beheld so terrible a sight. 

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, istheir Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become agreat favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table wereplaced at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This princetook a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave himthe best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and hisjudgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observationsupon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little toocopious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars bysea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; theprejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbeartaking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, “whether I was a whig or tory?”Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a whitestaff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed“how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked bysuch diminutive insects as I: and yet, ” says he, “I dare engage thesecreatures have their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrivelittle nests and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make afigure in dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, theycheat, they betray!” And thus he continued on, while my colour came andwent several times, with indignation, to hear our noble country, themistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress ofEurope, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envyof the world, so contemptuously treated. 

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon maturethoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after havingbeen accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine eyes to be ofproportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from theirbulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a companyof English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day clothes, actingtheir several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted tolaugh as much at them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to placeme upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our personsappeared before me in full view together; and there could be nothing moreridiculous than the comparison; so that I really began to imagine myselfdwindled many degrees below my usual size. 

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf; who beingof the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily thinkhe was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing acreature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger andlook big as he passed by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I wasstanding on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, andhe seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against whichI could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him towrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled withsomething I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of hermajesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, notthinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, andthen ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if Ihad not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; forGlumdalclitch in that instant happened to be at the other end of theroom, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted presence ofmind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took meout, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed:however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a fartherpunishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had thrownme: neither was he ever restored to favour; for soon after the queenbestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to myvery great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremities such amalicious urchin might have carried his resentment. 

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would haveimmediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knockingout the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect, as it stoodbefore; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was goneto the side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of meat meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for sometime, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minutebefore any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below me tocry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were notscalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping. 

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; andshe used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowardsas myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered withflies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as aDunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with theircontinual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimesalight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or spawnbehind, which to me was very visible, though not to the natives of thatcountry, whose large optics were not so acute as mine, in viewing smallerobjects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose, or forehead, where theystung me to the quick, smelling very offensively; and I could easilytrace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists tell us, enables thosecreatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much adoto defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbearstarting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of thedwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys doamong us, and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frightenme, and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with myknife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired. 

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon awindow, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst notventure to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do withcages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat downat my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twentywasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming louderthan the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, andcarried it piecemeal away; others flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost terror oftheir stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my hanger, andattack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest gotaway, and I presently shut my window. These insects were as large aspartridges: I took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and havingsince shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts ofEurope, upon my return to England I gave three of them to GreshamCollege, and kept the fourth for myself. 

CHAPTER IV. 

The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. Theking’s palace; and some account of the metropolis. The author’s way oftravelling. The chief temple described. 

I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, asfar as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles roundLorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended, never went farther when she accompanied the king in his progresses, andthere staid till his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. Thewhole extent of this prince’s dominions reaches about six thousand milesin length, and from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot butconclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great error, bysupposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was evermy opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise thegreat continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct theirmaps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the north-westparts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance. 

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a ridge ofmountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by reasonof the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know whatsort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they beinhabited at all. On the three other sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts of thecoasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and thesea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest oftheir boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from any commercewith the rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea fish are of the same size with those in Europe, andconsequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest, that nature, inthe production of plants and animals of so extraordinary a bulk, iswholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons to bedetermined by philosophers. However, now and then they take a whale thathappens to be dashed against the rocks, which the common people feed onheartily. These whales I have known so large, that a man could hardlycarry one upon his shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they arebrought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a dish at theking’s table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he wasfond of it; for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although Ihave seen one somewhat larger in Greenland. 

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near ahundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy mycurious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This citystands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the river that passesthrough. It contains above eighty thousand houses, and about six hundredthousand inhabitants. It is in length three _glomglungs_ (which makeabout fifty-four English miles, ) and two and a half in breadth; as Imeasured it myself in the royal map made by the king’s order, which waslaid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: Ipaced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and, computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly. 

The king’s palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, aboutseven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and fortyfeet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed toGlumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out tosee the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often takeme out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view thehouses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned ourcoach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not altogether sohigh: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess ordered ourcoachman to stop at several shops, where the beggars, watching theiropportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the mosthorrible spectacle that ever a European eye beheld. There was a womanwith a cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my wholebody. There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than fivewool-packs; and another, with a couple of wooden legs, each about twentyfeet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice crawling ontheir clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these vermin with mynaked eye, much better than those of a European louse through amicroscope, and their snouts with which they rooted like swine. Theywere the first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enoughto dissect one of them, if I had had proper instruments, which Iunluckily left behind me in the ship, although, indeed, the sight was sonauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach. 

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered asmaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was somewhat toolarge for Glumdalclitch’s lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was madeby the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. Thistravelling-closet was an exact square, with a window in the middle ofthree of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on theoutside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which theperson that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put aleathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always theoffice of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether Iattended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to seethe gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister of state inthe court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order; for I soonbegan to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers, I supposemore upon account of their majesties’ favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback wouldbuckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I hada full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three windows. Ihad, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent beingtossed about by the agitation of the horse or the coach. And having beenlong used to sea-voyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me. 

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in mytravelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of opensedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and attendedby two others in the queen’s livery. The people, who had often heard ofme, were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl wascomplaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more conveniently seen. 

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the towerbelonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say Icame back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which, allowingfor the difference between the size of those people and us in Europe, isno great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if Irightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from anation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremelyobliged, it must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants inheight, is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near ahundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about forty feetsquare, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and emperors, cutin marble, larger than the life, placed in their several niches. Imeasured a little finger which had fallen down from one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found it exactly four feetand an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of whichthe girl was very fond, as children at her age usually are. 

The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and aboutsix hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten paces, asthe cupola at St. Paul’s: for I measured the latter on purpose, after myreturn. But if I should describe the kitchen grate, the prodigious potsand kettles, the joints of meat turning on the spits, with many otherparticulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed; at least a severecritic would be apt to think I enlarged a little, as travellers are oftensuspected to do. To avoid which censure I fear I have run too much intothe other extreme; and that if this treatise should happen to betranslated into the language of Brobdingnag (which is the general name ofthat kingdom, ) and transmitted thither, the king and his people wouldhave reason to complain that I had done them an injury, by a false anddiminutive representation. 

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables: theyare generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he goesabroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military guard offive hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid sightthat could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak. 

CHAPTER V. 

Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of acriminal. The author shows his skill in navigation. 

I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness hadnot exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some ofwhich I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into thegardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me outof it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into thosegardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a sillyallusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in theirlanguage as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watchinghis opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directlyover my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as aBristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on theback as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but Ireceived no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, becauseI had given the provocation. 

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divertmyself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In themeantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I wasimmediately by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I wasdown, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if Ihad been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep onall fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-sideof a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that Icould not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wonderedat, because nature, in that country, observing the same proportionthrough all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times aslarge as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having beenso curious as to weigh and measure them. 

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when mylittle nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I oftenentreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts, ) and having leftmy box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another partof the garden with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel thatbelonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into thegarden, happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, followingthe scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran straight tohis master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. By goodfortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his teethwithout the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poorgardener, who knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in aterrible fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me howI did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak aword. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to mylittle nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she leftme, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when shecalled. She severely reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl wasafraid of the queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it wouldnot be for my reputation, that such a story should go about. 

This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust meabroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of thisresolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unluckyadventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself. Oncea kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had notresolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he would havecertainly carried me away in his talons. Another time, walking to thetop of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole, through whichthat animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worthremembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise brokemy right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumbleover, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor England. 

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, inthose solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at allafraid of me, but would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking forworms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if nocreature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the confidenceto snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch hadjust given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of thesebirds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to peck myfingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and then theywould hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they didbefore. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all mystrength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizinghim by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself gave meso many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and body, though Iheld him at arm’s-length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that Iwas twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by oneof our servants, who wrung off the bird’s neck, and I had him next dayfor dinner, by the queen’s command. This linnet, as near as I canremember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan. 

The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, anddesired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have thepleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked fromtop to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I wasmuch disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell camefrom their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantageof those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but Iconceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my littleness, andthat those illustrious persons were no more disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. Icannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took thefreedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, tocomplain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty thatway, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling was as nicewith regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my mistress, andGlumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as sweet as those of any ladyin England. 

That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when mynurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them use me without anymanner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: forthey would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in mypresence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their nakedbodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and disgust:their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when Isaw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, andhairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing fartherconcerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of atleast two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above three tuns. Thehandsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolicsome girl ofsixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, withmany other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not being overparticular. But I was so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitchto contrive some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more. 

One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess, cameand pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who hadmurdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitchwas prevailed on to be of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although Iabhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to seesomething that I thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixedin a chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut offat one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins andarteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so high inthe air, that the great _jet d’eau_ at Versailles was not equal to it forthe time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I was at least half anEnglish mile distant. 

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took alloccasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether Iunderstood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exerciseof rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered, that Iunderstood both very well: for although my proper employment had been tobe surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forcedto work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this could bedone in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to afirst-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage wouldnever live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrivea boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a place forme to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by myinstructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all itstackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it wasfinished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap tothe king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water, with mein it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls, or littleoars, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived anotherproject. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of three hundredfeet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well pitched, toprevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall, in an outerroom of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it inhalf an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion, as well asthat of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertainedwith my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then mybusiness was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with theirfans; and, when they were weary, some of their pages would blow my sailforward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering starboard orlarboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carriedback my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry. 

In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost memy life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, thegoverness who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, toplace me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers, andshould infallibly have fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by theluckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking-pinthat stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of the pinpassing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I washeld by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief. 

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my troughevery third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a huge frog(not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till Iwas put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place, climbed up, andmade it lean so much on one side, that I was forced to balance it withall my weight on the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog wasgot in, it hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over myhead, backward and forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odiousslime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most deformedanimal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let medeal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls, andat last forced it to leap out of the boat. 

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from amonkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitchhad locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closet-window was leftopen, as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which Iusually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I satquietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at thecloset-window, and skip about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirringfrom my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leapingup and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view withgreat pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. Iretreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but the monkeylooking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I wanted presenceof mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at lastespied me; and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat doeswhen she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of thatcountry silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took meup in his right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she isgoing to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with akitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own species, by his often strokingmy face very gently with his other paw. In these diversions he wasinterrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were openingit: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at which he had comein, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, andholding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next toours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carryingme out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palacewas all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seenby hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holdingme like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other, bycramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag onone side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat manyof the rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think theyjustly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight wasridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw upstones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out. 

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which themonkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being ableto make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards fromthe ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or tofall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridgeto the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me down safe. 

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down mythroat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a smallneedle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet Iwas so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by thisodious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my health; andher majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey waskilled, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept about thepalace. 

When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for hisfavours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. Heasked me, “what my thoughts and speculations were, while I lay in themonkey’s paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding;and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach. ” Hedesired to know, “what I would have done upon such an occasion in my owncountry. ” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had no monkeys, exceptsuch as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, thatI could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to attackme. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so lately engaged(it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears had suffered me tothink so far as to make use of my hanger, ” (looking fiercely, andclapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) “when he poked his paw into mychamber, perhaps I should have given him such a wound, as would have madehim glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in. ” This Idelivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courageshould be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing elsebeside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty fromthose about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, howvain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour amongthose who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. Andyet I have seen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in Englandsince my return; where a little contemptible varlet, without the leasttitle to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look withimportance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of thekingdom. 

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: andGlumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough toinform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought wouldbe diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, wascarried by her governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, orthirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a smallfoot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, Iwent out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I mustneed try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, butunfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to myknees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the footmenwiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthilybemired; and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home; wherethe queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen spread itabout the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at my expense. 

CHAPTER VI. 

Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. Heshows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon. 

I used to attend the king’s levee once or twice a week, and had oftenseen him under the barber’s hand, which indeed was at first very terribleto behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country, was only shavedtwice a-week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me some of the sudsor lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumpsof hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of acomb, making several holes in it at equal distances with as small aneedle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps soartificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my ownbeing so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: neitherdid I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as wouldundertake to make me another. 

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of myleisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save for me the combingsof her majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; andconsulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received generalorders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little holes with afine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and seats; throughthese holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just after themanner of cane chairs in England. When they were finished, I made apresent of them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used toshow them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of every onethat beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die thanplace a dishonourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that onceadorned her majesty’s head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanicalgenius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, withher majesty’s name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave toGlumdalclitch, by the queen’s consent. To say the truth, it was more forshow than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the largercoins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys thatgirls are fond of. 

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, towhich I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear them:but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. Iam confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating andsounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice wasto have my box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far asI could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the windowcurtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable. 

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a-weekto teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled thatinstrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into myhead, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English tune uponthis instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinetwas near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that withmy arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press themdown required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be too greata labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I preparedtwo round sticks, about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thickerat one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces ofa mouse’s skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the topsof the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench wasplaced, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. Iran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging theproper keys with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to thegreat satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violentexercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other artists do;which was a great disadvantage to my performance. 

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellentunderstanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to bringone of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards distanceupon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with hisface. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one daytook the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt he discoveredtowards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable tothose excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason didnot extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observedin our country, that the tallest persons were usually the least providedwith it; that among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation ofmore industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; andthat, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to dohis majesty some signal service. ” The king heard me with attention, andbegan to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as exact an account of the government ofEngland as I possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are oftheir own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my formerdiscourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might deserveimitation. ”

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for thetongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebratethe praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to its meritsand felicity. 

I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominionsconsisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under onesovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon thefertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spokeat large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made upof an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblestblood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described thatextraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and arms, toqualify them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to havea share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court ofjudicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions alwaysready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of thekingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honourhad been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity werenever once known to degenerate. To these were joined several holypersons, as part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whosepeculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instructthe people therein. These were searched and sought out through the wholenation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of thepriesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of theirlives, and the depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritualfathers of the clergy and the people. 

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called theHouse of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked andculled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and loveof their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And thatthese two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to whom, inconjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed. 

I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, thosevenerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determiningthe disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishmentof vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent managementof our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea andland. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how manymillions there might be of each religious sect, or political party amongus. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particularwhich I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And Ifinished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events inEngland for about a hundred years past. 

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of severalhours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequentlytaking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions heintended to ask me. 

When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a sixthaudience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, andobjections, upon every article. He asked, “What methods were used tocultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind ofbusiness they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of theirlives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noblefamily became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those whoare to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum ofmoney to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite tothe public interest, ever happened to be the motive in thoseadvancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws oftheir country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decidethe properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? Whether theywere always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe, orsome other sinister view, could have no place among them? Whether thoseholy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account oftheir knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives;had never been compliers with the times, while they were common priests;or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions theycontinued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into thatassembly?”

He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in electing those whomI called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might notinfluence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, orthe most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came topass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin oftheir families, without any salary or pension? because this appeared suchan exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed todoubt it might possibly not be always sincere. ” And he desired to know, “Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refundingthemselves for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing thepublic good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunctionwith a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his questions, and sifted methoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiriesand objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat. 

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majestydesired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better ableto do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “What time was usuallyspent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of expense?Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestlyknown to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religionor politics, were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice?Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in the generalknowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other localcustoms? Whether they or their judges had any part in penning thoselaws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and glossing uponat their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different times, pleadedfor and against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contraryopinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether theyreceived any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions?And particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the lowersenate?”

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he thoughtmy memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five orsix millions a-year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found theysometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken werevery particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that theknowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not bedeceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he wasstill at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a privateperson. ” He asked me, “who were our creditors; and where we found moneyto pay them?” He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable andexpensive wars; “that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or liveamong very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richerthan our kings. ” He asked, what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts withour fleet?” Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenarystanding army, in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, “if we were governed by our own consent, in the persons of ourrepresentatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or againstwhom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man’shouse might not be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets forsmall wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting theirthroats?”

He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic, ” as he was pleased to call it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn from theseveral sects among us, in religion and politics. ” He said, “he knew noreason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it wasweakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keeppoisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials. ”

He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I hadmentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment wasusually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time itemployed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes;whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might notarrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from theimprovement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?”

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of ouraffairs during the last century; protesting “it was only a heap ofconspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, couldproduce. ”

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate thesum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the answersI had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor themanner he spoke them in: “My little friend Grildrig, you have made a mostadmirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved, thatignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifyinga legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, bythose whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, andeluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, andthe rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required toward theprocurement of any one station among you; much less, that men areennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are advanced for theirpiety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or valour; judges, fortheir integrity; senators, for the love of their country; or counsellorsfor their wisdom. As for yourself, ” continued the king, “who have spentthe greatest part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hopeyou may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by what Ihave gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with muchpains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of yournatives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin thatnature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth. ”

CHAPTER VII. 

The author’s love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantageto the king, which is rejected. The king’s great ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect and confined. The laws, andmilitary affairs, and parties in the state. 

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me fromconcealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover myresentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced torest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so injuriouslytreated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened to be socurious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not consisteither with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him whatsatisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my ownvindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave toevery point a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictnessof truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partialityto my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so muchjustice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties anddeformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and beauties inthe most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour in those manydiscourses I had with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed ofsuccess. 

But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly secludedfrom the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether unacquaintedwith the manners and customs that most prevail in other nations: the wantof which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices, and a certainnarrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politer countries ofEurope, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote aprince’s notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard forall mankind. 

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserableeffects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, whichwill hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further intohis majesty’s favour, I told him of “an invention, discovered betweenthree and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heapof which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in amoment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up inthe air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. Thata proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass oriron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, withsuch violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its force. Thatthe largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks ofan army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink downships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the sea, and whenlinked together by a chain, would cut through masts and rigging, dividehundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That weoften put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and dischargedthem by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would rip upthe pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters onevery side, dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew theingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood themanner of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to makethose tubes, of a size proportionable to all other things in hismajesty’s kingdom, and the largest need not be above a hundred feet long;twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity ofpowder and balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town inhis dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever itshould pretend to dispute his absolute commands. ” This I humbly offeredto his majesty, as a small tribute of acknowledgment, in turn for so manymarks that I had received, of his royal favour and protection. 

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of thoseterrible engines, and the proposal I had made. “He was amazed, how soimpotent and grovelling an insect as I” (these were his expressions)“could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as toappear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and desolation which Ihad painted as the common effects of those destructive machines;whereof, ” he said, “some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have beenthe first contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although fewthings delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yethe would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a secret;which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to mention any more. ”

A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince possessedof every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem; of strongparts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with admirabletalents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception, letslip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him absolutemaster of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people!Neither do I say this, with the least intention to detract from the manyvirtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, onthis account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an English reader:but I take this defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, bynot having hitherto reduced politics into a science, as the more acutewits of Europe have done. For, I remember very well, in a discourse oneday with the king, when I happened to say, “there were several thousandbooks among us written upon the art of government, ” it gave him (directlycontrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. Heprofessed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement, andintrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what Imeant by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation, were notin the case. He confined the knowledge of governing within very narrowbounds, to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedydetermination of civil and criminal causes; with some other obvioustopics, which are not worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, togrow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deservebetter of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than thewhole race of politicians put together. ”

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only inmorality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowedto excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may be usefulin life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all mechanical arts; sothat among us, it would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the leastconception into their heads. 

No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters intheir alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But indeed few ofthem extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most plainand simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough todiscover above one interpretation: and to write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or proceedingsagainst criminals, their precedents are so few, that they have littlereason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either. 

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out ofmind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king, whichis reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had liberty toborrow what books I pleased. The queen’s joiner had contrived in one ofGlumdalclitch’s rooms, a kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feethigh, formed like a standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at tenfeet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind toread, was put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upperstep of the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at thetop of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or tenpaces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a littlebelow the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I cameto the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the other page inthe same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could easily dowith both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and inthe largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long. 

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for theyavoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using variousexpressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those inhistory and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a littleold treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch’s bed chamber, andbelonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt inwritings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness ofhuman kind, and is in little esteem, except among the women and thevulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that countrycould say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usualtopics of European moralists, showing “how diminutive, contemptible, andhelpless an animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defendhimself from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts: howmuch he was excelled by one creature in strength, by another in speed, bya third in foresight, by a fourth in industry. ” He added, “that naturewas degenerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and couldnow produce only small abortive births, in comparison of those in ancienttimes. ” He said “it was very reasonable to think, not only that thespecies of men were originally much larger, but also that there must havebeen giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by history andtradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls, casuallydug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindledrace of men in our days. ” He argued, “that the very laws of natureabsolutely required we should have been made, in the beginning of a sizemore large and robust; not so liable to destruction from every littleaccident, of a tile falling from a house, or a stone cast from the handof a boy, or being drowned in a little brook. ” From this way ofreasoning, the author drew several moral applications, useful in theconduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own part, I couldnot avoid reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawinglectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe, upon a strictinquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded among us as theyare among that people. 

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army consists ofa hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two thousand horse:if that may be called an army, which is made up of tradesmen in theseveral cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are only thenobility and gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed perfectenough in their exercises, and under very good discipline, wherein I sawno great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every farmer isunder the command of his own landlord, and every citizen under that ofthe principal men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, byballot?

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, in agreat field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in all notabove twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it wasimpossible for me to compute their number, considering the space ofground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might beabout ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon aword of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and soastonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning weredarting at the same time from every quarter of the sky. 

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is noaccess from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach hispeople the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in the course ofmany ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to which thewhole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending forpower, the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. Allwhich, however happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have beensometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more than onceoccasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to by thisprince’s grand-father, in a general composition; and the militia, thensettled with common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictestduty. 

CHAPTER VIII. 

The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author attendsthem. The manner in which he leaves the country very particularlyrelated. He returns to England. 

I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to form anyproject with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight of that coast, and theking had given strict orders, that if at any time another appeared, itshould be taken ashore, and with all its crew and passengers brought in atumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a woman of my ownsize, by whom I might propagate the breed: but I think I should ratherhave died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be keptin cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about thekingdom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed treatedwith much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king and queen, andthe delight of the whole court; but it was upon such a foot as ill becamethe dignity of humankind. I could never forget those domestic pledges Ihad left behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I couldconverse upon even terms, and walk about the streets and fields withoutbeing afraid of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But mydeliverance came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common;the whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate. 

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of thethird, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a progress tothe south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in mytravelling-box, which as I have already described, was a very convenientcloset, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be fixed, bysilken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break the jolts, when aservant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes desired; andwould often sleep in my hammock, while we were upon the road. On theroof of my closet, not directly over the middle of the hammock, I orderedthe joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hotweather, as I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drewbackward and forward through a groove. 

When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to pass a fewdays at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen Englishmiles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued: I hadgotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined toher chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only scene ofmy escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than Ireally was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with apage, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted withme. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitchconsented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had someforboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, abouthalf an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my sashes, cast manya wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap in my hammock, which Ihoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy shut the window closedown, to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjectureis, while I slept, the page, thinking no danger could happen, went amongthe rocks to look for birds’ eggs, having before observed him from mywindow searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. Be thatas it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon thering, which was fastened at the top of my box for the conveniency ofcarriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air, and then borneforward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken meout of my hammock, but afterward the motion was easy enough. I calledout several times, as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to nopurpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see nothing but theclouds and sky. I heard a noise just over my head, like the clapping ofwings, and then began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that someeagle had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let itfall on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him todiscover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than Icould be within a two-inch board. 

In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increasevery fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought given to the eagle (forsuch I am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box in hisbeak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling perpendicularlydown, for above a minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that Ialmost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash, thatsounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara; after which, Iwas quite in the dark for another minute, and then my box began to riseso high, that I could see light from the tops of the windows. I nowperceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strengthat the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet deepin water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew awaywith my box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let medrop, while he defended himself against the rest, who hoped to share inthe prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box (forthose were the strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, andhindered it from being broken on the surface of the water. Every joint ofit was well grooved; and the door did not move on hinges, but up and downlike a sash, which kept my closet so tight that very little water camein. I got with much difficulty out of my hammock, having first venturedto draw back the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived onpurpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost stifled. 

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whomone single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth, that inthe midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poornurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of thequeen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have notbeen under greater difficulties and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at leastoverset by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in onesingle pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could any thinghave preserved the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on theoutside, against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in atseveral crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and Iendeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift upthe roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done, andsat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve myself some hourslonger, than by being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or if Iescaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but amiserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under thesecircumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment to be my last. 

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixedupon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a leathern belt, and buckleit about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I heard, or atleast thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that side of my boxwhere the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that thebox was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort oftugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leavingme almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief, althoughI was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured tounscrew one of my chairs, which were always fastened to the floor; andhaving made a hard shift to screw it down again, directly under theslipping-board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the chair, andputting my mouth as near as I could to the hole, I called for help in aloud voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened myhandkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box. 

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet tobe moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of thebox where the staples were, and had no windows, struck against somethingthat was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found myself tossedmore than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through thering. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feethigher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick andhandkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return towhich, I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me suchtransports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through thehole with a loud voice, in the English tongue, “If there be any bodybelow, let them speak. ” I answered, “I was an Englishman, drawn by illfortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, andbegged, by all that was moving, to be delivered out of the dungeon I wasin. ” The voice replied, “I was safe, for my box was fastened to theirship; and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a hole in thecover, large enough to pull me out. ” I answered, “that was needless, andwould take up too much time; for there was no more to be done, but letone of the crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of thesea into the ship, and so into the captain’s cabin. ” Some of them, uponhearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for indeedit never came into my head, that I was now got among people of my ownstature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed apassage about four feet square, then let down a small ladder, upon whichI mounted, and thence was taken into the ship in a very weak condition. 

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at thesight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having solong accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But thecaptain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire man, observingI was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial tocomfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take alittle rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gavehim to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too goodto be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides, or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the crew bring mycloset into his cabin, I would open it there before him, and show him mygoods. The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities, concluded I wasraving; however (I suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as Idesired, and going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and strippedoff the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed tothe floor, were much damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who torethem up by force. Then they knocked off some of the boards for the useof the ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the hulldrop into the sea, which by reason of many breaches made in the bottomand sides, sunk to rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been aspectator of the havoc they made, because I am confident it would havesensibly touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which Iwould rather have forgot. 

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place Ihad left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking, I foundmyself much recovered. It was now about eight o’clock at night, and thecaptain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted toolong. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me not to lookwildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired Iwould give him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came tobe set adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said “that abouttwelve o’clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied itat a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit, hisown beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and finding hiserror, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was; that his mencame back in a fright, swearing they had seen a swimming house. That helaughed at their folly, and went himself in the boat, ordering his men totake a strong cable along with them. That the weather being calm, herowed round me several times, observed my windows and wire lattices thatdefended them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which wasall of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his mento row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the ship. Whenit was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable to the ringfixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with pulleys, which all thesailors were not able to do above two or three feet. ” He said, “they sawmy stick and handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and concluded that someunhappy man must be shut up in the cavity. ” I asked, “whether he or thecrew had seen any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he firstdiscovered me. ” To which he answered, “that discoursing this matter withthe sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed threeeagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their beinglarger than the usual size:” which I suppose must be imputed to the greatheight they were at; and he could not guess the reason of my question. Ithen asked the captain, “how far he reckoned we might be from land?” Hesaid, “by the best computation he could make, we were at least a hundredleagues. ” I assured him, “that he must be mistaken by almost half, for Ihad not left the country whence I came above two hours before I droppedinto the sea. ” Whereupon he began again to think that my brain wasdisturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in acabin he had provided. I assured him, “I was well refreshed with hisgood entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was inmy life. ” He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely, “whether Iwere not troubled in my mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing mein that chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forcedto sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should besorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage hisword to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we arrived. ” Headded, “that his suspicions were much increased by some very absurdspeeches I had delivered at first to his sailors, and afterwards tohimself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well as by my odd looksand behaviour while I was at supper. ”

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this honestworthy gentleman, who had some tincture of learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But further toconfirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinetshould be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for he hadalready informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it inhis own presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I madein the country from which I had been so strangely delivered. There wasthe comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king’s beard, andanother of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of her majesty’sthumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a collection of needlesand pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four wasp stings, likejoiner’s tacks; some combings of the queen’s hair; a gold ring, which oneday she made me a present of, in a most obliging manner, taking it fromher little finger, and throwing it over my head like a collar. I desiredthe captain would please to accept this ring in return for hiscivilities; which he absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I hadcut off with my own hand, from a maid of honour’s toe; it was about thebigness of Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returnedEngland, I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, Idesired him to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of amouse’s skin. 

I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I observed himto examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. Hereceived it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle coulddeserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one ofGlumdalclitch’s men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it was assound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter. 

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had givenhim, and said, “he hoped, when we returned to England, I would oblige theworld by putting it on paper, and making it public. ” My answer was, “that we were overstocked with books of travels: that nothing could nowpass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted some authors lessconsulted truth, than their own vanity, or interest, or the diversion ofignorant readers; that my story could contain little beside commonevents, without those ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry ofsavage people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked himfor his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my thoughts. ”

He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me speakso loud;” asking me “whether the king or queen of that country were thickof hearing?” I told him, “it was what I had been used to for above twoyears past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in thestreets, to another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when Iwas placed on a table, or held in any person’s hand. ” I told him, “I hadlikewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most littlecontemptible creatures I had ever beheld. ” For indeed, while I was inthat prince’s country, I could never endure to look in a glass, aftermine eyes had been accustomed to such prodigious objects, because thecomparison gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said, “that while we were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing witha sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain mylaughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to somedisorder in my brain. ” I answered, “it was very true; and I wondered howI could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size of a silverthree-pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not so big as anut-shell;” and so I went on, describing the rest of his household-stuffand provisions, after the same manner. For, although he queen hadordered a little equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was inher service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on everyside of me, and I winked at my own littleness, as people do at their ownfaults. The captain understood my raillery very well, and merrilyreplied with the old English proverb, “that he doubted mine eyes werebigger than my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good, althoughI had fasted all day;” and, continuing in his mirth, protested “he wouldhave gladly given a hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle’sbill, and afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea;which would certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to havethe description of it transmitted to future ages:” and the comparison ofPhaëton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although Idid not much admire the conceit. 

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England, drivennorth-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude of 143. Butmeeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we sailedsouthward a long time, and coasting New Holland, kept our coursewest-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape ofGood Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble thereader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I neverwent out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the thirdday of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leavemy goods in security for payment of my freight: but the captain protestedhe would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at my house in Redriff. Ihired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I borrowed of thecaptain. 

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. I wasafraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called aloud tohave them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one ortwo broken heads for my impertinence. 

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one ofthe servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a goose undera gate, ) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never beable to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing, but Icould not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand withmy head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then I went to take herup with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and oneor two friends who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I agiant. I told my wife, “she had been too thrifty, for I found she hadstarved herself and her daughter to nothing. ” In short, I behaved myselfso unaccountably, that they were all of the captain’s opinion when hefirst saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as aninstance of the great power of habit and prejudice. 

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a rightunderstanding: but my wife protested “I should never go to sea any more;”although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here conclude thesecond part of my unfortunate voyages. 

PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, ANDJAPAN. 

CHAPTER I. 

The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. Themalice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received intoLaputa. 

I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William Robinson, aCornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundredtons, came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another shipwhere he was master, and a fourth part owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more like a brother, than an inferior officer;and, hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended only out offriendship, for nothing passed more than what is usual after longabsences. But repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find Ime in good health, asking, “whether I were now settled for life?” adding, “that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months, ” at last heplainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of theship; “that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our two mates;that my salary should be double to the usual pay; and that havingexperienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least equal to his, hewould enter into any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I hadshared in the command. ”

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest aman, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had of seeingthe world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent asever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my wife, whoseconsent however I at last obtained, by the prospect of advantage sheproposed to her children. 

We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. Georgethe 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where thecaptain resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods heintended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched inseveral months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some of the charges hemust be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, andputting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, heappointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, while hetransacted his affairs at Tonquin. 

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we weredriven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east: afterwhich we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from thewest. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soonovertook us; for my sloop was so deep laden, that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves. 

We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who enteredfuriously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon ourfaces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes, andsetting guard upon us, went to search the sloop. 

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by ourcountenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spokenDutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, inconsideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouringcountries in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to takesome pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings, and turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japaneselanguage, as I suppose, often using the word _Christianos_. 

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, andafter several questions, which I answered in great humility, he said, “weshould not die. ” I made the captain a very low bow, and then, turning tothe Dutchman, said, “I was sorry to find more mercy in a heathen, than ina brother christian. ” But I had soon reason to repent those foolishwords: for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain topersuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea (whichthey would not yield to, after the promise made me that I should notdie), however, prevailed so far, as to have a punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than death itself. My men were sent byan equal division into both the pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I should be set adrift in a smallcanoe, with paddles and a sail, and four days’ provisions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, andwould permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe, while theDutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all the curses andinjurious terms his language could afford. 

About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation, andfound we were in the latitude of 46 N. And longitude of 183. When I wasat some distance from the pirates, I discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I set up my sail, the wind beingfair, with a design to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made ashift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: however I got manybirds’ eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved tospare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under theshelter of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well. 

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third andfourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But, not totrouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let itsuffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former. 

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did notreach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round, beforeI could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be allrocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of grass, and sweet-smellingherbs. I took out my small provisions and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were great numbers; Igathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a quantity of drysea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, androast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodgedmy provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which Iintended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mindprevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered howimpossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place, and howmiserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could get spirits enoughto creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I walked awhile amongthe rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun so hot, that I wasforced to turn my face from it: when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from what happens by theinterposition of a cloud. I turned back, and perceived a vast opaquebody between me and the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemedto be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but Idid not observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, thanif I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached nearerover the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm substance, thebottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from the reflection of thesea below. I stood upon a height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending almost to a parallel with me, at lessthan an English mile distance. I took out my pocket perspective, andcould plainly discover numbers of people moving up and down the sides ofit, which appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I wasnot able to distinguish. 

The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I wasready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. Butat the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, tobehold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as itshould seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as theypleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to philosophiseupon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what course the islandwould take, because it seemed for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of it encompassed withseveral gradations of galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, todescend from one to the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld somepeople fishing with long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved mycap (for my hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward theisland; and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with theutmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld acrowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I found by theirpointing towards me and to each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my shouting. But I could see four orfive men running in great haste, up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that these weresent for orders to some person in authority upon this occasion. 

The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, theisland was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest galleryappeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance from theheight where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicatingposture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but received no answer. Thosewho stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the Italian: and thereforeI returned an answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadencemight be more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understoodthe other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw thedistress I was in. 

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards theshore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to aconvenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down fromthe lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I fixedmyself, and was drawn up by pulleys. 

CHAPTER II. 

The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account oftheir learning. Of the king and his court. The author’s receptionthere. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account ofthe women. 

At my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those whostood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with allthe marks and circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in theirdebt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular in theirshapes, habits, and countenances. Their heads were all reclined, eitherto the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the otherdirectly up to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with thefigures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many otherinstruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed, here andthere, many in the habit of servants, with a blown bladder, fastened likea flail to the end of a stick, which they carried in their hands. Ineach bladder was a small quantity of dried peas, or little pebbles, as Iwas afterwards informed. With these bladders, they now and then flappedthe mouths and ears of those who stood near them, of which practice Icould not then conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these peopleare so taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by someexternal taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep a flapper (theoriginal is _climenole_) in their family, as one of their domestics; norever walk abroad, or make visits, without him. And the business of thisofficer is, when two, three, or more persons are in company, gently tostrike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to speak, and the rightear of him or them to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapperis likewise employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, andupon occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is alwaysso wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of fallingdown every precipice, and bouncing his head against every post; and inthe streets, of justling others, or being justled himself into thekennel. 

It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which hewould be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of thesepeople, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the island, andfrom thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending, they forgotseveral times what they were about, and left me to myself, till theirmemories were again roused by their flappers; for they appearedaltogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and countenance, andby the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were moredisengaged. 

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber ofpresence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on eachside by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large tablefilled with globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of allkinds. His majesty took not the least notice of us, although ourentrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of allpersons belonging to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; andwe attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood byhim, on each side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when theysaw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and the otherhis right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, andlooking towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion ofour coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap came up to my side, andflapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument; which, as I afterwardsfound, gave his majesty, and the whole court, a very mean opinion of myunderstanding. The king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me severalquestions, and I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither understand nor be understood, I wasconducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince beingdistinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality tostrangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me. My dinnerwas brought, and four persons of quality, whom I remembered to have seenvery near the king’s person, did me the honour to dine with me. We hadtwo courses, of three dishes each. In the first course, there was ashoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle, a piece of beef intoa rhomboides, and a pudding into a cycloid. The second course was twoducks trussed up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resemblingflutes and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. Theservants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and severalother mathematical figures. 

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several thingsin their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of theirflappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration oftheir great abilities if I could be brought to converse with them. I wassoon able to call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted. 

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by theking’s order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, andpaper, and three or four books, giving me to understand by signs, that hewas sent to teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in whichtime I wrote down a great number of words in columns, with thetranslations over against them; I likewise made a shift to learn severalshort sentences; for my tutor would order one of my servants to fetchsomething, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed mealso, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, thezodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the denominationsof many plains and solids. He gave me the names and descriptions of allthe musical instruments, and the general terms of art in playing on eachof them. After he had left me, I placed all my words, with theirinterpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in a few days, by thehelp of a very faithful memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which I interpret the flying or floating island, is in theoriginal _Laputa_, whereof I could never learn the true etymology. _Lap_, in the old obsolete language, signifies high; and _untuh_, agovernor; from which they say, by corruption, was derived _Laputa_, from_Lapuntuh_. But I do not approve of this derivation, which seems to be alittle strained. I ventured to offer to the learned among them aconjecture of my own, that Laputa was _quasi lap outed_; _lap_, signifying properly, the dancing of the sunbeams in the sea, and _outed_, a wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judiciousreader. 

Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for a suit ofclothes. This operator did his office after a different manner fromthose of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses, described the dimensions andoutlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in sixdays brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, byhappening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded. 

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition thatheld me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary; and when I wentnext to court, was able to understand many things the king spoke, and toreturn him some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders, that theisland should move north-east and by east, to the vertical point overLagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four days anda half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive motion madein the air by the island. On the second morning, about eleven o’clock, the king himself in person, attended by his nobility, courtiers, andofficers, having prepared all their musical instruments, played on themfor three hours without intermission, so that I was quite stunned withthe noise; neither could I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutorinformed me. He said that, the people of their island had their earsadapted to hear “the music of the spheres, which always played at certainperiods, and the court was now prepared to bear their part, in whateverinstrument they most excelled. ”

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered thatthe island should stop over certain towns and villages, from whence hemight receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let down, with small weights at the bottom. Onthese packthreads the people strung their petitions, which mounted updirectly, like the scraps of paper fastened by school boys at the end ofthe string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received wine andvictuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys. 

The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in acquiringtheir phraseology, which depended much upon that science, and music; andin the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are perpetuallyconversant in lines and figures. If they would, for example, praise thebeauty of a woman, or any other animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or bywords of art drawn from music, needless here to repeat. I observed inthe king’s kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to hismajesty’s table. 

Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right anglein any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they bear topractical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic; thoseinstructions they give being too refined for the intellects of theirworkmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes. And although they aredexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and behaviour oflife, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor soslow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other subjects, exceptthose of mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, andvehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of theright opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, andinvention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in theirlanguage, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole compass oftheir thoughts and mind being shut up within the two forementionedsciences. 

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to ownit publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogetherunaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards newsand politics, perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving theirjudgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every inch of aparty opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition among most ofthe mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I could neverdiscover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless those peoplesuppose, that because the smallest circle has as many degrees as thelargest, therefore the regulation and management of the world require nomore abilities than the handling and turning of a globe; but I rathertake this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious and conceited in matters where we haveleast concern, and for which we are least adapted by study or nature. 

These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a minutespeace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes which verylittle affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise fromseveral changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance, thatthe earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it, must, incourse of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun, will, by degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no morelight to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from thetail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to ashes;and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-thirty yearshence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its perihelion, it shouldapproach within a certain degree of the sun (as by their calculationsthey have reason to dread) it will receive a degree of heat ten thousandtimes more intense than that of red hot glowing iron, and in its absencefrom the sun, carry a blazing tail ten hundred thousand and fourteenmiles long, through which, if the earth should pass at the distance ofone hundred thousand miles from the nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that thesun, daily spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them, willat last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be attended withthe destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive theirlight from it. 

They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, and thelike impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in theirbeds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements oflife. When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first questionis about the sun’s health, how he looked at his setting and rising, andwhat hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching comet. Thisconversation they are apt to run into with the same temper that boysdiscover in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits andhobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed forfear. 

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they, contemn theirhusbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is alwaysa considerable number from the continent below, attending at court, either upon affairs of the several towns and corporations, or their ownparticular occasions, but are much despised, because they want the sameendowments. Among these the ladies choose their gallants: but thevexation is, that they act with too much ease and security; for thehusband is always so rapt in speculation, that the mistress and lover mayproceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he be butprovided with paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side. 

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island, althoughI think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world; and althoughthey live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and are allowedto do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and take thediversions of the metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without aparticular license from the king; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent experience, howhard it is to persuade their women to return from below. I was told thata great court lady, who had several children, —is married to the primeminister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the island, —wentdown to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid herself for severalmonths, till the king sent a warrant to search for her; and she was foundin an obscure eating-house all in rags, having pawned her clothes tomaintain an old deformed footman, who beat her every day, and in whosecompany she was taken, much against her will. And although her husbandreceived her with all possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to thesame gallant, and has not been heard of since. 

This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or Englishstory, than for one of a country so remote. But he may please toconsider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any climateor nation, and that they are much more uniform, than can be easilyimagined. 

In about a month’s time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in theirlanguage, and was able to answer most of the king’s questions, when I hadthe honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least curiosityto inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or manners ofthe countries where I had been; but confined his questions to the stateof mathematics, and received the account I gave him with great contemptand indifference, though often roused by his flapper on each side. 

CHAPTER III. 

A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians’great improvements in the latter. The king’s method of suppressinginsurrections. 

I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island, which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to attendme. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in nature, itowed its several motions, whereof I will now give a philosophical accountto the reader. 

The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains tenthousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or undersurface, which appears to those who view it below, is one even regularplate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is acoat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the uppersurface, from the circumference to the centre, is the natural cause whyall the dews and rains, which fall upon the island, are conveyed in smallrivulets toward the middle, where they are emptied into four largebasins, each of about half a mile in circuit, and two hundred yardsdistant from the centre. From these basins the water is continuallyexhaled by the sun in the daytime, which effectually prevents theiroverflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise theisland above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the fallingof dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the highest clouds cannot riseabove two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they were never known todo so in that country. 

At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards indiameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which istherefore called _flandona gagnole_, or the astronomer’s cave, situatedat the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps continually burning, which, from thereflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. Theplace is stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments. But the greatestcuriosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of aprodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver’s shuttle. It is in lengthsix yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over. Thismagnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing through itsmiddle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that the weakesthand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eightadamantine feet, each six yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of theaxle are lodged, and turned round as there is occasion. 

The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the hoopand its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant whichconstitutes the bottom of the island. 

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and movefrom one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the earthover which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of its sideswith an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive. Uponplacing the magnet erect, with its attracting end towards the earth, theisland descends; but when the repelling extremity points downwards, theisland mounts directly upwards. When the position of the stone isoblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this magnet, theforces always act in lines parallel to its direction. 

By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of themonarch’s dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let _A_ _B_represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the line_c_ _d_ represent the loadstone, of which let _d_ be the repelling end, and _c_ the attracting end, the island being over _C_: let the stone beplaced in position _c_ _d_, with its repelling end downwards; then theisland will be driven upwards obliquely towards _D_. When it is arrivedat _D_, let the stone be turned upon its axle, till its attracting endpoints towards _E_, and then the island will be carried obliquely towards_E_; where, if the stone be again turned upon its axle till it stands inthe position _E_ _F_, with its repelling point downwards, the island willrise obliquely towards _F_, where, by directing the attracting endtowards _G_, the island may be carried to _G_, and from _G_ to _H_, byturning the stone, so as to make its repelling extremity to pointdirectly downward. And thus, by changing the situation of the stone, asoften as there is occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turnsin an oblique direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings (theobliquity being not considerable) is conveyed from one part of thedominions to the other. 

But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the extentof the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large systems concerning thestone) assign the following reason: that the magnetic virtue does notextend beyond the distance of four miles, and that the mineral, whichacts upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in the sea about sixleagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king’s dominions; and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince tobring under his obedience whatever country lay within the attraction ofthat magnet. 

When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the islandstands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at equaldistance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawingdownwards, the other in pushing upwards, and consequently no motion canensue. 

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from timeto time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend thegreatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, whichthey do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, theymagnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the starswith greater clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend theirdiscoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they havemade a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of oursdo not contain above one third part of that number. They have likewisediscovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars;whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the primary planetexactly three of his diameters, and the outermost, five; the formerrevolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and ahalf; so that the squares of their periodical times are very near in thesame proportion with the cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars;which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitationthat influences the other heavenly bodies. 

They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled theirperiods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it withgreat confidence) it is much to be wished, that their observations weremade public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very lameand defective, might be brought to the same perfection with other arts ofastronomy. 

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he couldbut prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having theirestates below on the continent, and considering that the office of afavourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to theenslaving of their country. 

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violentfactions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods ofreducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is, bykeeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, andconsequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases: and if thecrime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with greatstones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into cellarsor caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But ifthey still continue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, heproceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly upontheir heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However, this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare hisministers advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odiousto the people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates, whichall lie below; for the island is the king’s demesne. 

But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of thiscountry have been always averse from executing so terrible an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to bedestroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out inthe larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first with a view toprevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or pillars ofstone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under surface of theisland, which, although it consist, as I have said, of one entireadamant, two hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by too great ashock, or burst by approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Ofall this the people are well apprised, and understand how far to carrytheir obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. And theking, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to press a city torubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of apretence of tenderness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breakingthe adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all theirphilosophers, that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and thewhole mass would fall to the ground. 

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of histwo eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen, tillshe is past child-bearing. 

CHAPTER IV. 

The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at themetropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation withthat lord. 

Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I mustconfess I thought myself too much neglected, not without some degree ofcontempt; for neither prince nor people appeared to be curious in anypart of knowledge, except mathematics and music, wherein I was far theirinferior, and upon that account very little regarded. 

On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island, Iwas very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at the same time, so abstracted andinvolved in speculation, that I never met with such disagreeablecompanions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen, flappers, andcourt-pages, during two months of my abode there; by which, at last, Irendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these were the only peoplefrom whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer. 

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in theirlanguage: I was weary of being confined to an island where I received solittle countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first opportunity. 

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for thatreason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the mostignorant and stupid person among them. He had performed many eminentservices for the crown, had great natural and acquired parts, adornedwith integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that hisdetractors reported, “he had been often known to beat time in the wrongplace;” neither could his tutors, without extreme difficulty, teach himto demonstrate the most easy proposition in the mathematics. He waspleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the honour of avisit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws andcustoms, the manners and learning of the several countries where I hadtravelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very wiseobservations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him forstate, but never made use of them, except at court and in visits ofceremony, and would always command them to withdraw, when we were alonetogether. 

I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with hismajesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was pleasedto tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me several offers veryadvantageous, which, however, I refused, with expressions of the highestacknowledgment. 

On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court. Theking made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a letter ofrecommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis. The islandbeing then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it, I was letdown from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up. 

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flyingisland, passes under the general name of _Balnibarbi_; and themetropolis, as I said before, is called _Lagado_. I felt some littlesatisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the citywithout any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and sufficientlyinstructed to converse with them. I soon found out the person’s house towhom I was recommended, presented my letter from his friend the grandeein the island, and was received with much kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, where Icontinued during my stay, and was entertained in a most hospitablemanner. 

The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see thetown, which is about half the bigness of London; but the houses verystrangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in thestreets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally inrags. We passed through one of the town gates, and went about threemiles into the country, where I saw many labourers working with severalsorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what theywere about: neither did observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiringat these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold todesire my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me, whatcould be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in thestreets and the fields, because I did not discover any good effects theyproduced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappilycultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a people whosecountenances and habit expressed so much misery and want. 

This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some yearsgovernor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was discharged forinsufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as awell-meaning man, but of a low contemptible understanding. 

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he madeno further answer than by telling me, “that I had not been long enoughamong them to form a judgment; and that the different nations of theworld had different customs;” with other common topics to the samepurpose. But, when we returned to his palace, he asked me “how I likedthe building, what absurdities I observed, and what quarrel I had withthe dress or looks of his domestics?” This he might safely do; becauseevery thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, “that his excellency’s prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted himfrom those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in others. ” Hesaid, “if I would go with him to his country-house, about twenty milesdistant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this kindof conversation. ” I told his excellency “that I was entirely at hisdisposal;” and accordingly we set out next morning. 

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by farmersin managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable; for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear of corn orblade of grass. But, in three hours travelling, the scene was whollyaltered; we came into a most beautiful country; farmers’ houses, at smalldistances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a moredelightful prospect. His excellency observed my countenance to clear up;he told me, with a sigh, “that there his estate began, and would continuethe same, till we should come to his house: that his countrymen ridiculedand despised him, for managing his affairs no better, and for setting soill an example to the kingdom; which, however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful, and weak like himself. ”

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure, builtaccording to the best rules of ancient architecture. The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with exactjudgment and taste. I gave due praises to every thing I saw, whereof hisexcellency took not the least notice till after supper; when, there beingno third companion, he told me with a very melancholy air “that hedoubted he must throw down his houses in town and country, to rebuildthem after the present mode; destroy all his plantations, and cast othersinto such a form as modern usage required, and give the same directionsto all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase hismajesty’s displeasure; that the admiration I appeared to be under wouldcease or diminish, when he had informed me of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the people there being too muchtaken up in their own speculations, to have regard to what passed herebelow. ”

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: “That about forty years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a very littlesmattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired in thatairy region: that these persons, upon their return, began to dislike themanagement of every thing below, and fell into schemes of putting allarts, sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot. To this end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of projectors inLagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that thereis not a town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new rules and methods ofagriculture and building, and new instruments, and tools for all tradesand manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one man shall do the workof ten; a palace may be built in a week, of materials so durable as tolast for ever without repairing. All the fruits of the earth shall cometo maturity at whatever season we think fit to choose, and increase ahundred fold more than they do at present; with innumerable other happyproposals. The only inconvenience is, that none of these projects areyet brought to perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country liesmiserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food orclothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fiftytimes more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equallyon by hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of an enterprisingspirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to live in the houseshis ancestors had built, and act as they did, in every part of life, without innovation: that some few other persons of quality and gentry haddone the same, but were looked on with an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill common-wealth’s men, preferringtheir own ease and sloth before the general improvement of theircountry. ”

His lordship added, “That he would not, by any further particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grandacademy, whither he was resolved I should go. ” He only desired me toobserve a ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three milesdistant, of which he gave me this account: “That he had a very convenientmill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current from a largeriver, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a great number ofhis tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of those projectors cameto him with proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the sideof that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, fora repository of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines to supplythe mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated the water, andthereby made it fitter for motion, and because the water, descending downa declivity, would turn the mill with half the current of a river whosecourse is more upon a level. ” He said, “that being then not very wellwith the court, and pressed by many of his friends, he complied with theproposal; and after employing a hundred men for two years, the workmiscarried, the projectors went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as well as equal disappointment. ”

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering thebad character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself, butrecommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither. My lordwas pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a personof much curiosity and easy belief; which, indeed, was not without truth;for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger days. 

CHAPTER V. 

The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academylargely described. The arts wherein the professors employ themselves. 

This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation ofseveral houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, waspurchased and applied to that use. 

I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to theacademy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe Icould not be in fewer than five hundred rooms. 

The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. Hisclothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has been eightyears upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which wereto be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air inraw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that, in eightyears more, he should be able to supply the governor’s gardens withsunshine, at a reasonable rate: but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me “to give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers. ” I madehim a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them. 

I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almostovercome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in a whisper “to give no offence, which would be highlyresented;” and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose. Theprojector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy; hisface and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed overwith filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, acompliment I could well have excused. His employment, from his firstcoming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement toits original food, by separating the several parts, removing the tincturewhich it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and scummingoff the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a vesselfilled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol barrel. 

I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise showedme a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of fire, whichhe intended to publish. 

There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method forbuilding houses, by beginning at the roof, and working downward to thefoundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those twoprudent insects, the bee and the spider. 

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his owncondition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which theirmaster taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was indeedmy misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in theirlessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity. 

In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had founda device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges ofploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of groundyou bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, whereof these animals arefondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in search oftheir food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it withtheir dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found the charge andtrouble very great, and they had little or no crop. However it is notdoubted, that this invention may be capable of great improvement. 

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung roundwith cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, “not to disturb his webs. ” Helamented “the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of usingsilkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitelyexcelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well asspin. ” And he proposed further, “that by employing spiders, the chargeof dyeing silks should be wholly saved;” whereof I was fully convinced, when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us “that the webs would take atincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fiteverybody’s fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, ofcertain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength andconsistence to the threads. ”

There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial upon thegreat weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual and diurnalmotions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with allaccidental turnings of the wind. 

I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductorled me into a room where a great physician resided, who was famous forcuring that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument. Hehad a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory: this heconveyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmedhe could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when the diseasewas more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellowswere full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient; thenwithdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb stronglyagainst the orifice of then fundament; and this being repeated three orfour times, the adventitious wind would rush out, bringing the noxiousalong with it, (like water put into a pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but could not discern anyeffect from the former. After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very offensive to me and mycompanion. The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouringto recover him, by the same operation. 

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with allthe curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity. 

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other beingappropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shallsay something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who iscalled among them “the universal artist. ” He told us “he had been thirtyyears employing his thoughts for the improvement of human life. ” He hadtwo large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting thenitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; otherssoftening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying thehoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The artisthimself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the first, to sowland with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to becontained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I was notskilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain composition ofgums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, to prevent the growthof wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time topropagate the breed of naked sheep, all over the kingdom. 

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I havealready said, the projectors in speculative learning resided. 

The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupilsabout him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon aframe, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth ofthe room, he said, “Perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in aproject for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and mechanicaloperations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness; andhe flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted thought never sprang inany other man’s head. Every one knew how laborious the usual method isof attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the mostignorant person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, andtheology, without the least assistance from genius or study. ” He thenled me to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood inranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. Thesuperfices was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of adie, but some larger than others. They were all linked together byslender wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, withpaper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words oftheir language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; butwithout any order. The professor then desired me “to observe; for he wasgoing to set his engine at work. ” The pupils, at his command, took eachof them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round theedges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole dispositionof the words was entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty ofthe lads, to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon theframe; and where they found three or four words together that might makepart of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who werescribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places, asthe square bits of wood moved upside down. 

 [Picture: The frame]

Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and theprofessor showed me several volumes in large folio, already collected, ofbroken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of thoserich materials, to give the world a complete body of all arts andsciences; which, however, might be still improved, and much expedited, ifthe public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred suchframes in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common theirseveral collections. 

He assured me “that this invention had employed all his thoughts from hisyouth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and madethe strictest computation of the general proportion there is in booksbetween the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts ofspeech. ”

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for hisgreat communicativeness; and promised, “if ever I had the good fortune toreturn to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the soleinventor of this wonderful machine;” the form and contrivance of which Idesired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here annexed. Itold him, “although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to stealinventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, thatit became a controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take suchcaution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival. ”

We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat inconsultation upon improving that of their own country. 

The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting polysyllablesinto one, and leaving out verbs and participles, because, in reality, allthings imaginable are but norms. 

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all wordswhatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, insome degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was thereforeoffered, “that since words are only names for things, it would be moreconvenient for all men to carry about them such things as were necessaryto express a particular business they are to discourse on. ” And thisinvention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well ashealth of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar andilliterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might beallowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner oftheir forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies to science arethe common people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere tothe new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only thisinconvenience attending it, that if a man’s business be very great, andof various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a greaterbundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two strongservants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those sages almostsinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars among us, who, whenthey met in the street, would lay down their loads, open their sacks, andhold conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume their burdens, and take their leave. 

But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house, he cannot beat a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter forthis kind of artificial converse. 

Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it wouldserve as a universal language, to be understood in all civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearlyresembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And thusambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes, orministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers. 

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupilsafter a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition, anddemonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed ofa cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fastingstomach, and for three days following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing theproposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto beenanswerable, partly by some error in the _quantum_ or composition, andpartly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it canoperate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long anabstinence, as the prescription requires. 

CHAPTER VI. 

A further account of the academy. The author proposes some improvements, which are honourably received. 

In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; theprofessors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, whichis a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy peoplewere proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites uponthe score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers toconsult the public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, eminentservices; of instructing princes to know their true interest, by placingit on the same foundation with that of their people; of choosing foremployments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart of man toconceive; and confirmed in me the old observation, “that there is nothingso extravagant and irrational, which some philosophers have notmaintained for truth. ”

But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy, asto acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a mostingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole natureand system of government. This illustrious person had very usefullyemployed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all diseasesand corruptions to which the several kinds of public administration aresubject, by the vices or infirmities of those who govern, as well as bythe licentiousness of those who are to obey. For instance: whereas allwriters and reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universalresemblance between the natural and the political body; can there be anything more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, andthe diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed, thatsenates and great councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of the head, and more ofthe heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of thenerves and sinews in both hands, but especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous tumours, full of fetidpurulent matter; with sour frothy ructations: with canine appetites, andcrudeness of digestion, besides many others, needless to mention. Thisdoctor therefore proposed, “that upon the meeting of the senate, certainphysicians should attend it the three first days of their sitting, and atthe close of each day’s debate feel the pulses of every senator; afterwhich, having maturely considered and consulted upon the nature of theseveral maladies, and the methods of cure, they should on the fourth dayreturn to the senate house, attended by their apothecaries stored withproper medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of themlenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their several cases required; and, according as thesemedicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the nextmeeting. ”

This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and mightin my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business, in thosecountries where senates have any share in the legislative power; begetunanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now closed, andclose many more which are now open; curb the petulancy of the young, andcorrect the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the pert. 

Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of princesare troubled with short and weak memories; the same doctor proposed, “that whoever attended a first minister, after having told his business, with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words, should, at hisdeparture, give the said minister a tweak by the nose, or a kick in thebelly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by both ears, or run apin into his breech; or pinch his arm black and blue, to preventforgetfulness; and at every levee day, repeat the same operation, tillthe business were done, or absolutely refused. ”

He likewise directed, “that every senator in the great council of anation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the defence ofit, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary; because if thatwere done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of thepublic. ”

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivanceto reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred leaders ofeach party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are nearestof a size; then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of each coupleat the same time, in such a manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be interchanged, applying each to thehead of his opposite party-man. It seems indeed to be a work thatrequires some exactness, but the professor assured us, “that if it weredexterously performed, the cure would be infallible. ” For he arguedthus: “that the two half brains being left to debate the matter betweenthemselves within the space of one skull, would soon come to a goodunderstanding, and produce that moderation, as well as regularity ofthinking, so much to be wished for in the heads of those, who imaginethey come into the world only to watch and govern its motion: and as tothe difference of brains, in quantity or quality, among those who aredirectors in faction, the doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that“it was a perfect trifle. ”

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the mostcommodious and effectual ways and means of raising money, withoutgrieving the subject. The first affirmed, “the justest method would be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon everyman to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of his neighbours. ”The second was of an opinion directly contrary; “to tax those qualitiesof body and mind, for which men chiefly value themselves; the rate to bemore or less, according to the degrees of excelling; the decision whereofshould be left entirely to their own breast. ” The highest tax was uponmen who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, and theassessments, according to the number and nature of the favours they havereceived; for which, they are allowed to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise proposed to be largely taxed, andcollected in the same manner, by every person’s giving his own word forthe quantum of what he possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, andlearning, they should not be taxed at all; because they arequalifications of so singular a kind, that no man will either allow themin his neighbour or value them in himself. 

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skillin dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to bedetermined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense, and good nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the chargeof collecting. 

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that themembers should raffle for employment; every man first taking an oath, andgiving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he won or not;after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of raffling uponthe next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be kept alive; nonewould complain of broken promises, but impute their disappointmentswholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those ofa ministry. 

Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for discoveringplots and conspiracies against the government. He advised greatstatesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected persons; their timesof eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand they wipetheir posteriors; take a strict view of their excrements, and, from thecolour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturityof digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because menare never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for, in such conjunctures, when heused, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of murderingthe king, his ordure would have a tincture of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or burning themetropolis. 

The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing manyobservations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as Iconceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some additions. Hereceived my proposition with more compliance than is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing “he would be gladto receive further information. ”

I told him, “that in the kingdom of Tribnia, {454a} by the natives calledLangdon, {454b} where I had sojourned some time in my travels, the bulkof the people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers, together withtheir several subservient and subaltern instruments, all under thecolours, the conduct, and the pay of ministers of state, and theirdeputies. The plots, in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship ofthose persons who desire to raise their own characters of profoundpoliticians; to restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifleor divert general discontents; to fill their coffers with forfeitures;and raise, or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall bestanswer their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled amongthem, what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then, effectualcare is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put the ownersin chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists, verydexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words, syllables, andletters: for instance, they can discover a close stool, to signify aprivy council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog, an invader; theplague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime minister; the gout, a highpriest; a gibbet, a secretary of state; a chamber pot, a committee ofgrandees; a sieve, a court lady; a broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, anemployment; a bottomless pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap andbells, a favourite; a broken reed, a court of justice; an empty tun, ageneral; a running sore, the administration. {455}

“When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which thelearned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, they can decipherall initial letters into political meanings. Thus _N_, shall signify aplot; _B_, a regiment of horse; _L_, a fleet at sea; or, secondly, bytransposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected paper, they canlay open the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a friend, ‘Our brother Tom has just gotthe piles, ’ a skilful decipherer would discover, that the same letterswhich compose that sentence, may be analysed into the following words, ‘Resist ---, a plot is brought home—The tour. ’ And this is theanagrammatic method. ”

The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating theseobservations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in histreatise. 

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longercontinuance, and began to think of returning home to England. 

CHAPTER VII. 

The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He takesa short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor. 

The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I havereason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of America westward ofCalifornia; and north, to the Pacific Ocean, which is not above a hundredand fifty miles from Lagado; where there is a good port, and muchcommerce with the great island of Luggnagg, situated to the north-westabout 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude. This island ofLuggnagg stands south-eastward of Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the Japanese emperor and the king ofLuggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from one islandto the other. I determined therefore to direct my course this way, inorder to my return to Europe. I hired two mules, with a guide, to showme the way, and carry my small baggage. I took leave of my nobleprotector, who had shown me so much favour, and made me a generouspresent at my departure. 

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When Iarrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was no shipin the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in some time. Thetown is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into someacquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A gentleman ofdistinction said to me, “that since the ships bound for Luggnagg couldnot be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable amusementfor me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib, about fiveleagues off to the south-west. ” He offered himself and a friend toaccompany me, and that I should be provided with a small convenient barkfor the voyage. 

Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the islandof sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as the Isle ofWight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head of a certaintribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or governor. He has a noblepalace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded by a wall ofhewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small enclosuresfor cattle, corn, and gardening. 

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of akind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a power ofcalling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service fortwenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons upagain in less than three months, except upon very extraordinaryoccasions. 

When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning, oneof the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor, and desiredadmittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the honour ofattending on his highness. This was immediately granted, and we allthree entered the gate of the palace between two rows of guards, armedand dressed after a very antic manner, and with something in theircountenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express. Wepassed through several apartments, between servants of the same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of presence;where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general questions, wewere permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest step of hishighness’s throne. He understood the language of Balnibarbi, although itwas different from that of this island. He desired me to give him someaccount of my travels; and, to let me see that I should be treatedwithout ceremony, he dismissed all his attendants with a turn of hisfinger; at which, to my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recovermyself in some time, till the governor assured me, “that I should receiveno hurt:” and observing my two companions to be under no concern, who hadbeen often entertained in the same manner, I began to take courage, andrelated to his highness a short history of my several adventures; yet notwithout some hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the placewhere I had seen those domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine withthe governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited attable. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in themorning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to excuseme for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My twofriends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which is thecapital of this little island; and the next morning we returned to payour duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command us. 

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part ofevery day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon grew sofamiliarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth timethey gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any apprehensions left, mycuriosity prevailed over them. For his highness the governor ordered me“to call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and in whatevernumbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world to thepresent time, and command them to answer any questions I should think fitto ask; with this condition, that my questions must be confined withinthe compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might dependupon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was a talentof no use in the lower world. ”

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair prospect into thepark. And because my first inclination was to be entertained with scenesof pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great at thehead of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which, upon a motionof the governor’s finger, immediately appeared in a large field, underthe window where we stood. Alexander was called up into the room: it waswith great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little ofmy own. He assured me upon his honour “that he was not poisoned, butdied of a bad fever by excessive drinking. ”

Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me “he had not a drop ofvinegar in his camp. ”

I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that the senateof Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and an assembly ofsomewhat a later age in counterview, in another. The first seemed to bean assembly of heroes and demigods; the other, a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets, highwayman, and bullies. 

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cæsar and Brutus toadvance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the sightof Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue, thegreatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of hiscountry, and general benevolence for mankind, in every lineament of hiscountenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons werein good intelligence with each other; and Cæsar freely confessed to me, “that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by manydegrees, to the glory of taking it away. ” I had the honour to have muchconversation with Brutus; and was told, “that his ancestor Junius, Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and himselfwere perpetually together:” a sextumvirate, to which all the ages of theworld cannot add a seventh. 

It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast numbersof illustrious persons were called up to gratify that insatiable desire Ihad to see the world in every period of antiquity placed before me. Ichiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the destroyers of tyrants andusurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I received in my ownmind, after such a manner as to make it a suitable entertainment to thereader. 

CHAPTER VIII. 

A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history corrected. 

Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit andlearning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer andAristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but thesewere so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish those twoheroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erectfor one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I everbeheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage wasmeagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon discoveredthat both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of the company, andhad never seen or heard of them before; and I had a whisper from a ghostwho shall be nameless, “that these commentators always kept in the mostdistant quarters from their principals, in the lower world, through aconsciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horriblymisrepresented the meaning of those authors to posterity. ” I introducedDidymus and Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat thembetter than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a geniusto enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of allpatience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I presentedthem to him; and he asked them, “whether the rest of the tribe were asgreat dunces as themselves?”

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whomI prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This greatphilosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must do;and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus aspalatable as he could, and the vortices of Descartes, were equally to beexploded. He predicted the same fate to _attraction_, whereof thepresent learned are such zealous asserters. He said, “that new systemsof nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and eventhose, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when thatwas determined. ”

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the governor tocall up Heliogabalus’s cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could notshow us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilausmade us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get down a secondspoonful. 

The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by theirprivate affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing someof the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for two or threehundred years past, in our own and other countries of Europe; and havingbeen always a great admirer of old illustrious families, I desired thegovernor would call up a dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors inorder for eight or nine generations. But my disappointment was grievousand unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I sawin one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italianprelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have toogreat a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on so nice asubject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I wasnot so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without some pleasure, thatI found myself able to trace the particular features, by which certainfamilies are distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainlydiscover whence one family derives a long chin; why a second has aboundedwith knaves for two generations, and fools for two more; why a thirdhappened to be crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence itcame, what Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, _Nec virfortis_, _nec foemina casta_; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grewto be characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as muchas by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption oflineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets. 

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictlyexamined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for ahundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by prostitutewriters, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to cowards; the wisestcounsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman virtue, to betrayersof their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to sodomites; truth, toinformers: how many innocent and excellent persons had been condemned todeath or banishment by the practising of great ministers upon thecorruption of judges, and the malice of factions: how many villains hadbeen exalted to the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit:how great a share in the motions and events of courts, councils, andsenates might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, andbuffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, when Iwas truly informed of the springs and motives of great enterprises andrevolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which theyowed their success. 

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to writeanecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their graves witha cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince and chiefminister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets ofambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the perpetual misfortuneto be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes of many great eventsthat have surprised the world; how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a senate. A generalconfessed, in my presence, “that he got a victory purely by the force ofcowardice and ill conduct;” and an admiral, “that, for want of properintelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to betray thefleet. ” Three kings protested to me, “that in their whole reigns theynever did once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, ortreachery of some minister in whom they confided; neither would they doit if they were to live again:” and they showed, with great strength ofreason, “that the royal throne could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff temper, which virtue infusedinto a man, was a perpetual clog to public business. ”

I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what methodsgreat numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour, andprodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period:however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure togive no offence even to foreigners (for I hope the reader need not betold, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I sayupon this occasion, ) a great number of persons concerned were called up;and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, wereamong the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed they owedtheir greatness and wealth to sodomy, or incest; others, to theprostituting of their own wives and daughters; others, to the betrayingof their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; more to theperverting of justice, in order to destroy the innocent, I hope I may bepardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of thatprofound veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of highrank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to theirsublime dignity, by us their inferiors. 

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, anddesired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Uponinquiry I was told, “that their names were to be found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest ofrogues and traitors. ” As to the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most ofthem telling me, “they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on ascaffold or a gibbet. ”

Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a littlesingular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side. He told me, “he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in thesea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy’sgreat line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take afourth, which was the sole cause of Antony’s flight, and of the victorythat ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed inthe action. ” He added, “that upon the confidence of some merit, the warbeing at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustusto be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who hadnever seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of theemperor’s mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was chargedwith neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page ofPublicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at agreat distance from Rome, and there ended his life. ” I was so curious toknow the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called, whowas admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole account:but with much more advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuatedor concealed a great part of his merit. 

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in thatempire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me lesswonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of allkinds have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well aspillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had theleast title to either. 

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done inthe world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the raceof human kind was degenerated among us within these hundred years past;how the pox, under all its consequences and denominations had alteredevery lineament of an English countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallowcomplexion, and rendered the flesh loose and rancid. 

I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old stampmight be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of theirmanners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their truespirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Neithercould I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living with the dead, whenI considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted for apiece of money by their grand-children; who, in selling their votes andmanaging at elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that canpossibly be learned in a court. 

CHAPTER IX. 

The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg. Theauthor confined. He is sent for to court. The manner of his admittance. The king’s great lenity to his subjects. 

The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness, theGovernor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions toMaldonada, where, after a fortnight’s waiting, a ship was ready to sailfor Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and some others, were so generous andkind as to furnish me with provisions, and see me on board. I was amonth in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under anecessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holdsfor above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into theriver of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point ofLuggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a signalfor a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an hour, bywhom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which are verydangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a fleet may ride insafety within a cable’s length of the town-wall. 

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, hadinformed the pilots “that I was a stranger, and great traveller;” whereofthese gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I was examined verystrictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in the language ofBalnibarbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is generally understoodin that town, especially by seamen and those employed in the customs. Igave him a short account of some particulars, and made my story asplausible and consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary todisguise my country, and call myself a Hollander; because my intentionswere for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans permitted toenter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer, “that having beenshipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I wasreceived up into Laputa, or the flying island (of which he had oftenheard), and was now endeavouring to get to Japan, whence I might find aconvenience of returning to my own country. ” The officer said, “I mustbe confined till he could receive orders from court, for which he wouldwrite immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight. ” I wascarried to a convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door;however, I had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated withhumanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king’s charge. Iwas invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it wasreported that I came from countries very remote, of which they had neverheard. 

I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an interpreter; hewas a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada, and wasa perfect master of both languages. By his assistance, I was able tohold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this consistedonly of their questions, and my answers. 

The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It contained awarrant for conducting me and my retinue to _Traldragdubh_, or_Trildrogdrib_ (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I canremember), by a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor lad foran interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and, at my humblerequest, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was despatchedhalf a day’s journey before us, to give the king notice of my approach, and to desire, “that his majesty would please to appoint a day and hour, when it would by his gracious pleasure that I might have the honour tolick the dust before his footstool. ” This is the court style, and Ifound it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my admittance two daysafter my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my belly, and lick thefloor as I advanced; but, on account of my being a stranger, care wastaken to have it made so clean, that the dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any but persons of thehighest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay, sometimes the flooris strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to be admitted happensto have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen a great lord with hismouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the proper distance from thethrone; he was not able to speak a word. Neither is there any remedy;because it is capital for those, who receive an audience to spit or wipetheir mouths in his majesty’s presence. There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether approve of: when the king has a mind to put anyof his nobles to death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands thefloor to be strewed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But injustice to this prince’s great clemency, and the care he has of hissubjects’ lives (wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs ofEurope would imitate him), it must be mentioned for his honour, thatstrict orders are given to have the infected parts of the floor wellwashed after every such execution, which, if his domestics neglect, theyare in danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I myself heard himgive directions, that one of his pages should be whipped, whose turn itwas to give notice about washing the floor after an execution, butmaliciously had omitted it; by which neglect a young lord of great hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king atthat time had no design against his life. But this good prince was sogracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise that hewould do so no more, without special orders. 

To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards ofthe throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking myforehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the followingwords, as they had been taught me the night before, _Inckplinggloffthrobb squut serummblhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkuffh slhiophadgurdlubh asht_. This is the compliment, established by the laws of theland, for all persons admitted to the king’s presence. It may berendered into English thus: “May your celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!” To this the king returned some answer, which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been directed:_Fluft drin yalerick dwuldom prastrad mirpush_, which properly signifies, “My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;” and by this expression wasmeant, that I desired leave to bring my interpreter; whereupon the youngman already mentioned was accordingly introduced, by whose intervention Ianswered as many questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. Ispoke in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my meaningin that of Luggnagg. 

The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his_bliffmarklub_, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the courtfor me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table, and alarge purse of gold for my common expenses. 

I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to hismajesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very honourableoffers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and justice topass the remainder of my days with my wife and family. 

CHAPTER X. 

The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and some eminent persons uponthat subject. 

The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although they arenot without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all Easterncountries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers, especiallysuch who are countenanced by the court. I had many acquaintance, andamong persons of the best fashion; and being always attended by myinterpreter, the conversation we had was not disagreeable. 

One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality, “whether I had seen any of their _struldbrugs_, or immortals?” I said, “I had not;” and desired he would explain to me “what he meant by such anappellation, applied to a mortal creature. ” He told me “that sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born in a family, with a redcircular spot in the forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which wasan infallible mark that it should never die. ” The spot, as he describedit, “was about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the course oftime grew larger, and changed its colour; for at twelve years old itbecame green, so continued till five and twenty, then turned to a deepblue: at five and forty it grew coal black, and as large as an Englishshilling; but never admitted any further alteration. ” He said, “thesebirths were so rare, that he did not believe there could be above elevenhundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole kingdom; of which hecomputed about fifty in the metropolis, and, among the rest, a young girlborn; about three years ago: that these productions were not peculiar toany family, but a mere effect of chance; and the children of the_struldbrugs_ themselves were equally mortal with the rest of thepeople. ”

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight, uponhearing this account: and the person who gave it me happening tounderstand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I couldnot forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little tooextravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, “Happy nation, where everychild hath at least a chance for being immortal! Happy people, who enjoyso many living examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready toinstruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond allcomparison, are those excellent _struldbrugs_, who, being born exemptfrom that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds free anddisengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits caused by thecontinual apprehensions of death!” I discovered my admiration that I hadnot observed any of these illustrious persons at court; the black spot onthe forehead being so remarkable a distinction, that I could not haveeasily overlooked it: and it was impossible that his majesty, a mostjudicious prince, should not provide himself with a good number of suchwise and able counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverendsages was too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court:and we often find by experience, that young men are too opinionated andvolatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I wasresolved, upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him onthis matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; andwhether he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I wasdetermined, that his majesty having frequently offered me anestablishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness, acceptthe favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superiorbeings the _struldbrugs_, if they would please to admit me. ”

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I havealready observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with asort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, “that hewas glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my permissionto explain to the company what I had spoke. ” He did so, and they talkedtogether for some time in their own language, whereof I understood not asyllable, neither could I observe by their countenances, what impressionmy discourse had made on them. After a short silence, the same persontold me, “that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to expresshimself) were very much pleased with the judicious remarks I had made onthe great happiness and advantages of immortal life, and they weredesirous to know, in a particular manner, what scheme of living I shouldhave formed to myself, if it had fallen to my lot to have been born a_struldbrug_. ”

I answered, “it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful asubject, especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself withvisions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a greatlord: and upon this very case, I had frequently run over the whole systemhow I should employ myself, and pass the time, if I were sure to live forever. 

“That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a_struldbrug_, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, byunderstanding the difference between life and death, I would firstresolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I might reasonablyexpect, in about two hundred years, to be the wealthiest man in thekingdom. In the second place, I would, from my earliest youth, applymyself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should arrive intime to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully recordevery action and event of consequence, that happened in the public, impartially draw the characters of the several successions of princes andgreat ministers of state, with my own observations on every point. Iwould exactly set down the several changes in customs, language, fashionsof dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements, I should be aliving treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and certainly become the oracleof the nation. 

“I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in forming anddirecting the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them, from my ownremembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and private life. But my choiceand constant companions should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood;among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down to my owncontemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I would provide themwith convenient lodges round my own estate, and have some of them alwaysat my table; only mingling a few of the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same manner; just as a man divertshimself with the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting the loss of those which withered the preceding year. 

“These _struldbrugs_ and I would mutually communicate our observationsand memorials, through the course of time; remark the several gradationsby which corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to mankind; which, added tothe strong influence of our own example, would probably prevent thatcontinual degeneracy of human nature so justly complained of in all ages. 

“Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of statesand empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient cities inruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous riverslessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, andoverwhelming another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown;barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous becomecivilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude, theperpetual motion, the universal medicine, and many other greatinventions, brought to the utmost perfection. 

“What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by outliving andconfirming our own predictions; by observing the progress and return ofcomets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and stars!”

I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endlesslife, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me with. When I hadended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as before, tothe rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among them in thelanguage of the country, not without some laughter at my expense. Atlast, the same gentleman who had been my interpreter, said, “he wasdesired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes, which I had falleninto through the common imbecility of human nature, and upon thatallowance was less answerable for them. That this breed of _struldbrugs_was peculiar to their country, for there were no such people either inBalnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to be ambassador from hismajesty, and found the natives in both those kingdoms very hard tobelieve that the fact was possible: and it appeared from my astonishmentwhen he first mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thingwholly new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms abovementioned, where, during his residence, he had conversed very much, heobserved long life to be the universal desire and wish of mankind. Thatwhoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold back the other asstrongly as he could. That the oldest had still hopes of living one daylonger, and looked on death as the greatest evil, from which naturealways prompted him to retreat. Only in this island of Luggnagg theappetite for living was not so eager, from the continual example of the_struldbrugs_ before their eyes. 

“That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and unjust;because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour, which noman could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in hiswishes. That the question therefore was not, whether a man would chooseto be always in the prime of youth, attended with prosperity and health;but how he would pass a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantageswhich old age brings along with it. For although few men will avow theirdesires of being immortal, upon such hard conditions, yet in the twokingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed thatevery man desired to put off death some time longer, let it approach everso late: and he rarely heard of any man who died willingly, except hewere incited by the extremity of grief or torture. And he appealed tome, whether in those countries I had travelled, as well as my own, I hadnot observed the same general disposition. ”

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the _struldbrugs_among them. He said, “they commonly acted like mortals till about thirtyyears old; after which, by degrees, they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came to fourscore. This he learned fromtheir own confession: for otherwise, there not being above two or threeof that species born in an age, they were too few to form a generalobservation by. When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned theextremity of living in this country, they had not only all the folliesand infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from thedreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which never descended below theirgrandchildren. Envy and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the younger sort and the deaths of the old. Byreflecting on the former, they find themselves cut off from allpossibility of pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral, they lament andrepine that others have gone to a harbour of rest to which theythemselves never can hope to arrive. They have no remembrance ofanything but what they learned and observed in their youth andmiddle-age, and even that is very imperfect; and for the truth orparticulars of any fact, it is safer to depend on common tradition, thanupon their best recollections. The least miserable among them appear tobe those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their memories; these meetwith more pity and assistance, because they want many bad qualities whichabound in others. 

“If a _struldbrug_ happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage isdissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as theyounger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it areasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned, without any fault oftheir own, to a perpetual continuance in the world, should not have theirmisery doubled by the load of a wife. 

“As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are lookedon as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their estates; onlya small pittance is reserved for their support; and the poor ones aremaintained at the public charge. After that period, they are heldincapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot purchaselands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be witnesses in anycause, either civil or criminal, not even for the decision of meers andbounds. 

“At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age nodistinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, withoutrelish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue, without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the commonappellation of things, and the names of persons, even of those who aretheir nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never canamuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve tocarry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by thisdefect, they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they mightotherwise be capable. 

“The language of this country being always upon the flux, the_struldbrugs_ of one age do not understand those of another; neither arethey able, after two hundred years, to hold any conversation (fartherthan by a few general words) with their neighbours the mortals; and thusthey lie under the disadvantage of living like foreigners in their owncountry. ”

This was the account given me of the _struldbrugs_, as near as I canremember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngestnot above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at several timesby some of my friends; but although they were told, “that I was a greattraveller, and had seen all the world, ” they had not the least curiosityto ask me a question; only desired “I would give them _slumskudask_, ” ora token of remembrance; which is a modest way of begging, to avoid thelaw, that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by thepublic, although indeed with a very scanty allowance. 

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them isborn, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded veryparticularly so that you may know their age by consulting the register, which, however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or atleast has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usualway of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or greatpersons they can remember, and then consulting history; for infalliblythe last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after they werefourscore years old. 

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women morehorrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to their number ofyears, which is not to be described; and among half a dozen, I soondistinguished which was the eldest, although there was not above acentury or two between them. 

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen, mykeen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartilyashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought no tyrant couldinvent a death into which I would not run with pleasure, from such alife. The king heard of all that had passed between me and my friendsupon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing I could senda couple of _struldbrugs_ to my own country, to arm our people againstthe fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by the fundamentallaws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well content with thetrouble and expense of transporting them. 

I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the_struldbrugs_ were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as anyother country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the likecircumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of oldage, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the wholenation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities tomanage, must end in the ruin of the public. 

CHAPTER XI. 

The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returnsin a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England. 

I thought this account of the _struldbrugs_ might be some entertainmentto the reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common way; atleast I do not remember to have met the like in any book of travels thathas come to my hands: and if I am deceived, my excuse must be, that it isnecessary for travellers who describe the same country, very often toagree in dwelling on the same particulars, without deserving the censureof having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote before them. 

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the greatempire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the Japanese authors mayhave given some account of the _struldbrugs_; but my stay in Japan was soshort, and I was so entirely a stranger to the language, that I was notqualified to make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and able enough to supply my defects. 

His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in hiscourt, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my nativecountry, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and honoured mewith a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the Emperor ofJapan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty-four largepieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers), and a reddiamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred pounds. 

On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and all myfriends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to conduct meto Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west part of theisland. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, andspent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small port-town calledXamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan; the town lies on thewestern point, where there is a narrow strait leading northward intoalong arm of the sea, upon the north-west part of which, Yedo, themetropolis, stands. At landing, I showed the custom-house officers myletter from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew theseal perfectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my hand. Theimpression was, _A king lifting up a lame beggar from the earth_. Themagistrates of the town, hearing of my letter, received me as a publicminister. They provided me with carriages and servants, and bore mycharges to Yedo; where I was admitted to an audience, and delivered myletter, which was opened with great ceremony, and explained to theEmperor by an interpreter, who then gave me notice, by his majesty’sorder, “that I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, itshould be granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg. ” Thisinterpreter was a person employed to transact affairs with theHollanders. He soon conjectured, by my countenance, that I was aEuropean, and therefore repeated his majesty’s commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had before determined, “that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and land to Luggnagg, and then tookshipping for Japan; where I knew my countrymen often traded, and withsome of these I hoped to get an opportunity of returning into Europe: Itherefore most humbly entreated his royal favour, to give order that Ishould be conducted in safety to Nangasac. ” To this I added anotherpetition, “that for the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg, hismajesty would condescend to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed onmy countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix: because I had been throwninto his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any intention of trading. ”When this latter petition was interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed alittle surprised; and said, “he believed I was the first of my countrymenwho ever made any scruple in this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander, or not; but rather suspected I must be aChristian. However, for the reasons I had offered, but chiefly togratify the king of Luggnagg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he wouldcomply with the singularity of my humour; but the affair must be managedwith dexterity, and his officers should be commanded to let me pass, asit were by forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the secret shouldbe discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in thevoyage. ” I returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual afavour; and some troops being at that time on their march to Nangasac, the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, withparticular instructions about the business of the crucifix. 

On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very longand troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some Dutchsailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spokeDutch well. The seamen soon knew whence I came last: they were curiousto inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up a story asshort and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest part. I knewmany persons in Holland. I was able to invent names for my parents, whomI pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I wouldhave given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleased to askfor my voyage to Holland; but understanding I was a surgeon, he wascontented to take half the usual rate, on condition that I would servehim in the way of my calling. Before we took shipping, I was often askedby some of the crew, whether I had performed the ceremony abovementioned? I evaded the question by general answers; “that I hadsatisfied the Emperor and court in all particulars. ” However, amalicious rogue of a skipper went to an officer, and pointing to me, toldhim, “I had not yet trampled on the crucifix;” but the other, who hadreceived instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes onthe shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more troubled with suchquestions. 

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fairwind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in freshwater. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam, havinglost only three men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who fellfrom the foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea. FromAmsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel belongingto that city. 

On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next morning, andsaw once more my native country, after an absence of five years and sixmonths complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I arrived the sameday at two in the afternoon, and found my wife and family in good health. 

PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS. 

CHAPTER I. 

The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an unknownland. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange sort ofanimal, described. The author meets two Houyhnhnms. 

I continued at home with my wife and children about five months, in avery happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing whenI was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted anadvantageous offer made me to be captain of the Adventurer, a stoutmerchantman of 350 tons: for I understood navigation well, and beinggrown weary of a surgeon’s employment at sea, which, however, I couldexercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, oneRobert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7thday of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock, ofBristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to cutlogwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since myreturn, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin boy. Hewas an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too positive in hisown opinions, which was the cause of his destruction, as it has been withseveral others; for if he had followed my advice, he might have been safeat home with his family at this time, as well as myself. 

I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was forcedto get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where Itouched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I hadsoon too much cause to repent: for I found afterwards, that most of themhad been buccaneers. I had fifty hands onboard; and my orders were, thatI should trade with the Indians in the South-Sea, and make whatdiscoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched myother men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and secureme; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and binding mehand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered to stir. I told them, “I was their prisoner, and would submit. ” This they made meswear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one of my legs witha chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry at my door with his piececharged, who was commanded to shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own victuals and drink, and took the government of the shipto themselves. Their design was to turn pirates and, plunder theSpaniards, which they could not do till they got more men. But firstthey resolved to sell the goods the ship, and then go to Madagascar forrecruits, several among them having died since my confinement. Theysailed many weeks, and traded with the Indians; but I knew not whatcourse they took, being kept a close prisoner in my cabin, and expectingnothing less than to be murdered, as they often threatened me. 

Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin, andsaid, “he had orders from the captain to set me ashore. ” I expostulatedwith him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me who their newcaptain was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting me put on mybest suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take a small bundleof linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they were so civil as not tosearch my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with someother little necessaries. They rowed about a league, and then set medown on a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it was. Theyall swore, “they knew no more than myself;” but said, “that the captain”(as they called him) “was resolved, after they had sold the lading, toget rid of me in the first place where they could discover land. ” Theypushed off immediately, advising me to make haste for fear of beingovertaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell. 

In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firmground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what Ihad best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country, resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, andpurchase my life from them by some bracelets, glass rings, and othertoys, which sailors usually provide themselves with in those voyages, andwhereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there was great plenty ofgrass, and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for fearof being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or oneither side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracts of humanfeet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld severalanimals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a little discomposedme, so that I lay down behind a thicket to observe them better. Some ofthem coming forward near the place where I lay, gave me an opportunity ofdistinctly marking their form. Their heads and breasts were covered witha thick hair, some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of theirlegs and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might seetheir skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails, norany hair at all on their buttocks, except about the anus, which, Ipresume, nature had placed there to defend them as they sat on theground, for this posture they used, as well as lying down, and oftenstood on their hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly as asquirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would often spring, andbound, and leap, with prodigious agility. The females were not so largeas the males; they had long lank hair on their heads, but none on theirfaces, nor any thing more than a sort of down on the rest of theirbodies, except about the anus and pudenda. The dugs hung between theirfore feet, and often reached almost to the ground as they walked. Thehair of both sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable ananimal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong anantipathy. So that, thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt andaversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it might directme to the cabin of some Indian. I had not got far, when I met one ofthese creatures full in my way, and coming up directly to me. The uglymonster, when he saw me, distorted several ways, every feature of hisvisage, and stared, as at an object he had never seen before; thenapproaching nearer, lifted up his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity ormischief I could not tell; but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good blowwith the flat side of it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearingthe inhabitants might be provoked against me, if they should come to knowthat I had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt thesmart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least fortycame flocking about me from the next field, howling and making odiousfaces; but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them off by waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, gettinghold of the branches behind, leaped up into the tree, whence they beganto discharge their excrements on my head; however, I escaped pretty wellby sticking close to the stem of the tree, but was almost stifled withthe filth, which fell about me on every side. 

In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on asudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree andpursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into thisfright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in thefield; which my persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause oftheir flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but soonrecovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens ofwonder; he viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several times. Iwould have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the boldnessto reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke it, using thecommon style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going to handle astrange horse. But this animal seemed to receive my civilities withdisdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly raising up his rightfore-foot to remove my hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but inso different a cadence, that I almost began to think he was speaking tohimself, in some language of his own. 

While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who applyinghimself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently struck eachother’s right hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varyingthe sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some pacesoff, as if it were to confer together, walking side by side, backward andforward, like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but oftenturning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might notescape. I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute beasts;and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country wereendued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must needs be thewisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so much comfort, that Iresolved to go forward, until I could discover some house or village, ormeet with any of the natives, leaving the two horses to discoursetogether as they pleased. But the first, who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a tone, thatI fancied myself to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to expect his farther commands: but concealing myfear as much as I could, for I began to be in some pain how thisadventure might terminate; and the reader will easily believe I did notmuch like my present situation. 

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness uponmy face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with his rightfore-hoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust itbetter by taking it off and settling it again; whereat, both he and hiscompanion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprised: the latterfelt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, theyboth looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seemingto admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed it so hard between hishoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which they bothtouched me with all possible tenderness. They were under greatperplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various gestures, not unlike those of aphilosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and difficultphenomenon. 

Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly andrational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they mustneeds be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon somedesign, and seeing a stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselveswith him; or, perhaps, were really amazed at the sight of a man so verydifferent in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who mightprobably live in so remote a climate. Upon the strength of thisreasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:“Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you canunderstand my language; therefore I make bold to let your worships knowthat I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes uponyour coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back, as ifhe were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of this knife andbracelet, ” taking them out of my pocket. The two creatures stood silentwhile I spoke, seeming to listen with great attention, and when I hadended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if they wereengaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed that their languageexpressed the passions very well, and the words might, with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the Chinese. 

I could frequently distinguish the word _Yahoo_, which was repeated byeach of them several times: and although it was impossible for me toconjecture what it meant, yet while the two horses were busy inconversation, I endeavoured to practise this word upon my tongue; and assoon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced _Yahoo_ in a loud voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing of a horse;at which they were both visibly surprised; and the gray repeated the sameword twice, as if he meant to teach me the right accent; wherein I spokeafter him as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improveevery time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the baytried me with a second word, much harder to be pronounced; but reducingit to the English orthography, may be spelt thus, _Houyhnhnm_. I did notsucceed in this so well as in the former; but after two or three farthertrials, I had better fortune; and they both appeared amazed at mycapacity. 

After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate tome, the two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment ofstriking each other’s hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should walkbefore him; wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find abetter director. When I offered to slacken my pace, he would cry _hhuunhhuun_: I guessed his meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as Icould, “that I was weary, and not able to walk faster;” upon which hewould stand awhile to let me rest. 

CHAPTER II. 

The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house described. The author’s reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms. The author indistress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His manner of feedingin this country. 

Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across; the roof was lowand covered with straw. I now began to be a little comforted; and tookout some toys, which travellers usually carry for presents to the savageIndians of America, and other parts, in hopes the people of the housewould be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The horse made me asign to go in first; it was a large room with a smooth clay floor, and arack and manger, extending the whole length on one side. There werethree nags and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upontheir hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to see therest employed in domestic business; these seemed but ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a people who could so farcivilise brute animals, must needs excel in wisdom all the nations of theworld. The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any illtreatment which the others might have given me. He neighed to themseveral times in a style of authority, and received answers. 

Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of thehouse, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to each other, in the manner of a vista. We went through the second room towards thethird. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waitedin the second room, and got ready my presents for the master and mistressof the house; they were two knives, three bracelets of false pearls, asmall looking-glass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed three orfour times, and I waited to hear some answers in a human voice, but Iheard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a littleshriller than his. I began to think that this house must belong to someperson of great note among them, because there appeared so much ceremonybefore I could gain admittance. But, that a man of quality should beserved all by horses, was beyond my comprehension. I feared my brain wasdisturbed by my sufferings and misfortunes. I roused myself, and lookedabout me in the room where I was left alone: this was furnished like thefirst, only after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but thesame objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awakemyself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded, thatall these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to pursue these reflections; for the gray horse came tothe door, and made me a sign to follow him into the third room where Isaw a very comely mare, together with a colt and foal, sitting on theirhaunches upon mats of straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat andclean. 

The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a mostcontemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard the word _Yahoo_often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not thencomprehend, although it was the first I had learned to pronounce. But Iwas soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification; for the horse, beckoning to me with his head, and repeating the _hhuun_, _hhuun_, as hedid upon the road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out intoa kind of court, where was another building, at some distance from thehouse. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots, and the flesh ofsome animals, which I afterwards found to be that of asses and dogs, andnow and then a cow, dead by accident or disease. They were all tied bythe neck with strong withes fastened to a beam; they held their foodbetween the claws of their fore feet, and tore it with their teeth. 

The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie thelargest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast and Iwere brought close together, and by our countenances diligently comparedboth by master and servant, who thereupon repeated several times the word_Yahoo_. My horror and astonishment are not to be described, when Iobserved in this abominable animal, a perfect human figure: the face ofit indeed was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and themouth wide; but these differences are common to all savage nations, wherethe lineaments of the countenance are distorted, by the natives sufferingtheir infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or by carrying them ontheir backs, nuzzling with their face against the mothers’ shoulders. The fore-feet of the _Yahoo_ differed from my hands in nothing else butthe length of the nails, the coarseness and brownness of the palms, andthe hairiness on the backs. There was the same resemblance between ourfeet, with the same differences; which I knew very well, though thehorses did not, because of my shoes and stockings; the same in every partof our bodies except as to hairiness and colour, which I have alreadydescribed. 

The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was to seethe rest of my body so very different from that of a _Yahoo_, for which Iwas obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The sorrelnag offered me a root, which he held (after their manner, as we shalldescribe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern; I took it inmy hand, and, having smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as Icould. He brought out of the _Yahoos_’ kennel a piece of ass’s flesh;but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it with loathing: he thenthrew it to the _Yahoo_, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwardsshowed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And indeed I nowapprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of myown species; for as to those filthy _Yahoos_, although there were fewgreater lovers of mankind at that time than myself, yet I confess I neversaw any sensitive being so detestable on all accounts; and the more Icame near them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in thatcountry. This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and thereforesent the _Yahoo_ back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to hismouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with ease, andwith a motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made other signs, toknow what I would eat; but I could not return him such an answer as hewas able to apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see how itwas possible to contrive any way for finding myself nourishment. Whilewe were thus engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed toher, and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect; forhe led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden vessels, after avery orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large bowlful, of which Idrank very heartily, and found myself well refreshed. 

About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like asledge by four _Yahoos_. There was in it an old steed, who seemed to beof quality; he alighted with his hind-feet forward, having by accidentgot a hurt in his left fore-foot. He came to dine with our horse, whoreceived him with great civility. They dined in the best room, and hadoats boiled in milk for the second course, which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular in the middle ofthe room, and divided into several partitions, round which they sat ontheir haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large rack, with angles answering to every partition of the manger; so that eachhorse and mare ate their own hay, and their own mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the young colt andfoal appeared very modest, and that of the master and mistress extremelycheerful and complaisant to their guest. The gray ordered me to stand byhim; and much discourse passed between him and his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger’s often looking on me, and the frequentrepetition of the word _Yahoo_. 

I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing, seemedperplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my fore-feet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify, thatI should reduce them to their former shape, which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting them into my pocket. Thisoccasioned farther talk; and I saw the company was pleased with mybehaviour, whereof I soon found the good effects. I was ordered to speakthe few words I understood; and while they were at dinner, the mastertaught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others, which Icould readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a great facilityin learning languages. 

When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs andwords made me understand the concern he was in that I had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are called _hlunnh_. This word I pronounced two orthree times; for although I had refused them at first, yet, upon secondthoughts, I considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind ofbread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive, till Icould make my escape to some other country, and to creatures of my ownspecies. The horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of hisfamily to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray. These I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them tillthe husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the grain. Iground and beat them between two stones; then took water, and made theminto a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common enough in many partsof Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and having been often reduced tohard fare in my life, this was not the first experiment I had made howeasily nature is satisfied. And I cannot but observe, that I never hadone hours sickness while I stayed in this island. It is true, Isometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit, or bird, by springs made of_Yahoo’s_ hairs; and I often gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made alittle butter, and drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss forsalt, but custom soon reconciled me to the want of it; and I am confidentthat the frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and wasfirst introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it isnecessary for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in places remote fromgreat markets; for we observe no animal to be fond of it but man, and asto myself, when I left this country, it was a great while before I couldendure the taste of it in anything that I ate. 

This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith othertravellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally concernedwhether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention thismatter, lest the world should think it impossible that I could findsustenance for three years in such a country, and among such inhabitants. 

When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for me tolodge in; it was but six yards from the house and separated from thestable of the _Yahoos_. Here I got some straw, and covering myself withmy own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a short time betteraccommodated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I come to treatmore particularly about my way of living. 

CHAPTER III. 

The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his master, assists in teaching him. The language described. Several Houyhnhnms ofquality come out of curiosity to see the author. He gives his master ashort account of his voyage. 

My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my master (for soI shall henceforth call him), and his children, and every servant of hishouse, were desirous to teach me; for they looked upon it as a prodigy, that a brute animal should discover such marks of a rational creature. Ipointed to every thing, and inquired the name of it, which I wrote downin my journal-book when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent bydesiring those of the family to pronounce it often. In this employment, a sorrel nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready to assist me. 

In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and theirlanguage approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German, of any I knowin Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The emperorCharles V. Made almost the same observation, when he said “that if hewere to speak to his horse, it should be in High-Dutch. ”

The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he spentmany hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as heafterwards told me) that I must be a _Yahoo_; but my teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which were qualitiesaltogether opposite to those animals. He was most perplexed about myclothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they were a part of mybody: for I never pulled them off till the family were asleep, and gotthem on before they waked in the morning. My master was eager to learn“whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of reason, which Idiscovered in all my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth, which he hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made inlearning and pronouncing their words and sentences. ” To help my memory, I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ the wordsdown, with the translations. This last, after some time, I ventured todo in my master’s presence. It cost me much trouble to explain to himwhat I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the least idea of books orliterature. 

In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his questions;and in three months, could give him some tolerable answers. He wasextremely curious to know “from what part of the country I came, and howI was taught to imitate a rational creature; because the _Yahoos_ (whomhe saw I exactly resembled in my head, hands, and face, that were onlyvisible), with some appearance of cunning, and the strongest dispositionto mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes. ” Ianswered, “that I came over the sea, from a far place, with many othersof my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the bodies of trees:that my companions forced me to land on this coast, and then left me toshift for myself. ” It was with some difficulty, and by the help of manysigns, that I brought him to understand me. He replied, “that I mustneeds be mistaken, or that I said the thing which was not;” for they haveno word in their language to express lying or falsehood. “He knew it wasimpossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcelof brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased upon water. Hewas sure no _Houyhnhnm_ alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust_Yahoos_ to manage it. ”

The word _Houyhnhnm_, in their tongue, signifies a _horse_, and, in itsetymology, the _perfection of nature_. I told my master, “that I was ata loss for expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell him wonders. ” He was pleasedto direct his own mare, his colt, and foal, and the servants of thefamily, to take all opportunities of instructing me; and every day, fortwo or three hours, he was at the same pains himself. Several horses andmares of quality in the neighbourhood came often to our house, upon thereport spread of “a wonderful _Yahoo_, that could speak like a_Houyhnhnm_, and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover someglimmerings of reason. ” These delighted to converse with me: they putmany questions, and received such answers as I was able to return. Byall these advantages I made so great a progress, that, in five monthsfrom my arrival I understood whatever was spoken, and could expressmyself tolerably well. 

The _Houyhnhnms_, who came to visit my master out of a design of seeingand talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right _Yahoo_, because my body had a different covering from others of my kind. Theywere astonished to observe me without the usual hair or skin, except onmy head, face, and hands; but I discovered that secret to my master uponan accident which happened about a fortnight before. 

I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family weregone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master sent for me by the sorrelnag, who was his valet. When he came I was fast asleep, my clothesfallen off on one side, and my shirt above my waist. I awaked at thenoise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some disorder;after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave him a veryconfused account of what he had seen. This I presently discovered, for, going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour, heasked me “the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I was notthe same thing when I slept, as I appeared to be at other times; that hisvale assured him, some part of me was white, some yellow, at least not sowhite, and some brown. ”

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to distinguishmyself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of _Yahoos_; but now Ifound it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that myclothes and shoes would soon wear out, which already were in a decliningcondition, and must be supplied by some contrivance from the hides of_Yahoos_, or other brutes; whereby the whole secret would be known. Itherefore told my master, “that in the country whence I came, those of mykind always covered their bodies with the hairs of certain animalsprepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both hot and cold; of which, as to my own person, I would give himimmediate conviction, if he pleased to command me: only desiring hisexcuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature taught us toconceal. ” He said, “my discourse was all very strange, but especiallythe last part; for he could not understand, why nature should teach us toconceal what nature had given; that neither himself nor family wereashamed of any parts of their bodies; but, however, I might do as Ipleased. ” Whereupon I first unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. Idid the same with my waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, andbreeches. I let my shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom;fastening it like a girdle about my middle, to hide my nakedness. 

My master observed the whole performance with great signs of curiosityand admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, one pieceafter another, and examined them diligently; he then stroked my body verygently, and looked round me several times; after which, he said, it wasplain I must be a perfect _Yahoo_; but that I differed very much from therest of my species in the softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin;my want of hair in several parts of my body; the shape and shortness ofmy claws behind and before; and my affectation of walking continually onmy two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave to puton my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold. 

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of_Yahoo_, an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred andcontempt: I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and makethe same order in his family and among his friends whom he suffered tosee me. I requested likewise, “that the secret of my having a falsecovering to my body, might be known to none but himself, at least as longas my present clothing should last; for as to what the sorrel nag, hisvalet, had observed, his honour might command him to conceal it. ”

All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the secret waskept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to supply byseveral contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the meantime, he desired “I would go on with my utmost diligence to learn theirlanguage, because he was more astonished at my capacity for speech andreason, than at the figure of my body, whether it were covered or not;”adding, “that he waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which Ipromised to tell him. ”

Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me: hebrought me into all company, and made them treat me with civility;“because, ” as he told them, privately, “this would put me into goodhumour, and make me more diverting. ”

Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at inteaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself, which Ianswered as well as I could, and by these means he had already receivedsome general ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relatethe several steps by which I advanced to a more regular conversation; butthe first account I gave of myself in any order and length was to thispurpose:

“That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to tellhim, with about fifty more of my own species; that we travelled upon theseas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than his honour’shouse. I described the ship to him in the best terms I could, andexplained, by the help of my handkerchief displayed, how it was drivenforward by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore onthis coast, where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till hedelivered me from the persecution of those execrable _Yahoos_. ” He askedme, “who made the ship, and how it was possible that the _Houyhnhnms_ ofmy country would leave it to the management of brutes?” My answer was, “that I durst proceed no further in my relation, unless he would give mehis word and honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tellhim the wonders I had so often promised. ” He agreed; and I went on byassuring him, that the ship was made by creatures like myself; who, inall the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the onlygoverning rational animals; and that upon my arrival hither, I was asmuch astonished to see the _Houyhnhnms_ act like rational beings, as he, or his friends, could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creaturehe was pleased to call a _Yahoo_; to which I owned my resemblance inevery part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal nature. I said farther, “that if good fortune ever restored me to my nativecountry, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do, everybodywould believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I invented thestory out of my own head; and (with all possible respect to himself, hisfamily, and friends, and under his promise of not being offended) ourcountrymen would hardly think it probable that a _Houyhnhnm_ should bethe presiding creature of a nation, and a _Yahoo_ the brute. ”

CHAPTER IV. 

The Houyhnhnm’s notion of truth and falsehood. The author’s discoursedisapproved by his master. The author gives a more particular account ofhimself, and the accidents of his voyage. 

My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in hiscountenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so little known inthis country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselvesunder such circumstances. And I remember, in frequent discourses with mymaster concerning the nature of manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of lying and false representation, it was withmuch difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he hadotherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued thus: “that the use ofspeech was to make us understand one another, and to receive informationof facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends weredefeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I amso far from receiving information, that he leaves me worse than inignorance; for I am led to believe a thing black, when it is white, andshort, when it is long. ” And these were all the notions he hadconcerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly well understood, and souniversally practised, among human creatures. 

To return from this digression. When I asserted that the _Yahoos_ werethe only governing animals in my country, which my master said wasaltogether past his conception, he desired to know, “whether we had_Houyhnhnms_ among us, and what was their employment?” I told him, “wehad great numbers; that in summer they grazed in the fields, and inwinter were kept in houses with hay and oats, where _Yahoo_ servants wereemployed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds. ” “I understand you well, ”said my master: “it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, thatwhatever share of reason the _Yahoos_ pretend to, the _Houyhnhnms_ areyour masters; I heartily wish our _Yahoos_ would be so tractable. ” Ibegged “his honour would please to excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very certain that the account he expected from me would behighly displeasing. ” But he insisted in commanding me to let him knowthe best and the worst. I told him “he should be obeyed. ” I owned “thatthe _Houyhnhnms_ among us, whom we called horses, were the most generousand comely animals we had; that they excelled in strength and swiftness;and when they belonged to persons of quality, were employed intravelling, racing, or drawing chariots; they were treated with muchkindness and care, till they fell into diseases, or became foundered inthe feet; but then they were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery tillthey died; after which their skins were stripped, and sold for what theywere worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds ofprey. But the common race of horses had not so good fortune, being keptby farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to greaterlabour, and fed them worse. ” I described, as well as I could, our way ofriding; the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a spur, and a whip; ofharness and wheels. I added, “that we fastened plates of a certain hardsubstance, called iron, at the bottom of their feet, to preserve theirhoofs from being broken by the stony ways, on which we often travelled. ”

My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered “how wedared to venture upon a _Houyhnhnm’s_ back; for he was sure, that theweakest servant in his house would be able to shake off the strongest_Yahoo_; or by lying down and rolling on his back, squeeze the brute todeath. ” I answered “that our horses were trained up, from three or fouryears old, to the several uses we intended them for; that if any of themproved intolerably vicious, they were employed for carriages; that theywere severely beaten, while they were young, for any mischievous tricks;that the males, designed for the common use of riding or draught, weregenerally castrated about two years after their birth, to take down theirspirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were indeedsensible of rewards and punishments; but his honour would please toconsider, that they had not the least tincture of reason, any more thanthe _Yahoos_ in this country. ”

It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master a rightidea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in variety ofwords, because their wants and passions are fewer than among us. But itis impossible to express his noble resentment at our savage treatment ofthe _Houyhnhnm_ race; particularly after I had explained the manner anduse of castrating horses among us, to hinder them from propagating theirkind, and to render them more servile. He said, “if it were possiblethere could be any country where _Yahoos_ alone were endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal; because reason in time willalways prevail against brutal strength. But, considering the frame ofour bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no creature of equal bulkwas so ill-contrived for employing that reason in the common offices oflife;” whereupon he desired to know “whether those among whom I livedresembled me, or the _Yahoos_ of his country?” I assured him, “that Iwas as well shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the females, were much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally aswhite as milk. ” He said, “I differed indeed from other _Yahoos_, beingmuch more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but, in point of realadvantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that my nails were of nouse either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my fore feet, he could notproperly call them by that name, for he never observed me to walk uponthem; that they were too soft to bear the ground; that I generally wentwith them uncovered; neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them ofthe same shape, or so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could notwalk with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I mustinevitably fail. ” He then began to find fault with other parts of mybody: “the flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine eyesplaced directly in front, so that I could not look on either side withoutturning my head: that I was not able to feed myself, without lifting oneof my fore-feet to my mouth: and therefore nature had placed those jointsto answer that necessity. He knew not what could be the use of thoseseveral clefts and divisions in my feet behind; that these were too softto bear the hardness and sharpness of stones, without a covering madefrom the skin of some other brute; that my whole body wanted a fenceagainst heat and cold, which I was forced to put on and off every day, with tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animalin this country naturally to abhor the _Yahoos_, whom the weaker avoided, and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to have the giftof reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that naturalantipathy, which every creature discovered against us; nor consequentlyhow we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he would, ” as hesaid, “debate the matter no farther, because he was more desirous to knowmy own story, the country where I was born, and the several actions andevents of my life, before I came hither. ”

I assured him, “how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfiedon every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be possible for meto explain myself on several subjects, whereof his honour could have noconception; because I saw nothing in his country to which I couldresemble them; that, however, I would do my best, and strive to expressmyself by similitudes, humbly desiring his assistance when I wantedproper words;” which he was pleased to promise me. 

I said, “my birth was of honest parents, in an island called England;which was remote from his country, as many days’ journey as the strongestof his honour’s servants could travel in the annual course of the sun;that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it is to cure wounds and hurts inthe body, gotten by accident or violence; that my country was governed bya female man, whom we called queen; that I left it to get riches, wherebyI might maintain myself and family, when I should return; that, in mylast voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had about fifty _Yahoos_under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced to supply them byothers picked out from several nations; that our ship was twice in dangerof being sunk, the first time by a great storm, and the second bystriking against a rock. ” Here my master interposed, by asking me, “howI could persuade strangers, out of different countries, to venture withme, after the losses I had sustained, and the hazards I had run?” Isaid, “they were fellows of desperate fortunes, forced to fly from theplaces of their birth on account of their poverty or their crimes. Somewere undone by lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money, for committing rapes, orsodomy; for flying from their colours, or deserting to the enemy; andmost of them had broken prison; none of these durst return to theirnative countries, for fear of being hanged, or of starving in a jail; andtherefore they were under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in otherplaces. ”

During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me severaltimes. I had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him thenature of the several crimes for which most of our crew had been forcedto fly their country. This labour took up several days’ conversation, before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at a loss to knowwhat could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To clearup which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power andriches; of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and makingsuppositions. After which, like one whose imagination was struck withsomething never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his eyes withamazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law, punishment, anda thousand other things, had no terms wherein that language could expressthem, which made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master anyconception of what I meant. But being of an excellent understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse, he at last arrived at acompetent knowledge of what human nature, in our parts of the world, iscapable to perform, and desired I would give him some particular accountof that land which we call Europe, but especially of my own country. 

CHAPTER V. 

The author at his master’s command, informs him of the state of England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The author begins toexplain the English constitution. 

The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of manyconversations I had with my master, contains a summary of the mostmaterial points which were discoursed at several times for above twoyears; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as I fartherimproved in the _Houyhnhnm_ tongue. I laid before him, as well as Icould, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the questions hemade, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of conversationnot to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the substance ofwhat passed between us concerning my own country, reducing it in order aswell as I can, without any regard to time or other circumstances, while Istrictly adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly beable to do justice to my master’s arguments and expressions, which mustneeds suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation into ourbarbarous English. 

In obedience, therefore, to his honour’s commands, I related to him theRevolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with France, enteredinto by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the present queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and which stillcontinued: I computed, at his request, “that about a million of _Yahoos_might have been killed in the whole progress of it; and perhaps a hundredor more cities taken, and five times as many ships burnt or sunk. ”

He asked me, “what were the usual causes or motives that made one countrygo to war with another?” I answered “they were innumerable; but I shouldonly mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of princes, whonever think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes thecorruption of ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order tostifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their eviladministration. Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives:for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether thejuice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice ora virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire;what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red, or gray;and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean;with many more. Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of solong a continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent. 

“Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of themshall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pretendto any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for fear theother should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon, becausethe enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or have thethings which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or give ustheirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a countryafter the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, orembroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter intowar against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies convenient forus, or a territory of land, that would render our dominions round andcomplete. If a prince sends forces into a nation, where the people arepoor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to death, and makeslaves of the rest, in order to civilize and reduce them from theirbarbarous way of living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequentpractice, when one prince desires the assistance of another, to securehim against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out theinvader, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, orbanish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindredis, the greater their disposition to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be atvariance. For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the mosthonourable of all others; because a soldier is a _Yahoo_ hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can. 

“There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able to makewar by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations, for somuch a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance: such are those in manynorthern parts of Europe. ”

“What you have told me, ” said my master, “upon the subject of war, doesindeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pretend to:however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger; and thatnature has left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For, yourmouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to anypurpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet beforeand behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our _Yahoos_ woulddrive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in recounting thenumbers of those who have been killed in battle, I cannot but think youhave said the thing which is not. ”

I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at hisignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him adescription of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs flying in theair, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death under horses’ feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases, left for food todogs and wolves and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the valour of my own dearcountrymen, I assured him, “that I had seen them blow up a hundredenemies at once in a siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the deadbodies drop down in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of thespectators. ”

I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me silence. He said, “whoever understood the nature of _Yahoos_, might easily believeit possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every action I hadnamed, if their strength and cunning equalled their malice. But as mydiscourse had increased his abhorrence of the whole species, so he foundit gave him a disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a strangerbefore. He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less detestation: that although he hated the_Yahoos_ of this country, yet he no more blamed them for their odiousqualities, than he did a _gnnayh_ (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or asharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a creature pretending toreason could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest thecorruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. Heseemed therefore confident, that, instead of reason we were onlypossessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural vices; as thereflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an ill shapenbody, not only larger but more distorted. ”

He added, “that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both inthis and some former discourses. There was another point, which a littleperplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some of our crew lefttheir country on account of being ruined by law; that I had alreadyexplained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it shouldcome to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man’spreservation, should be any man’s ruin. Therefore he desired to befurther satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my own country; because he thoughtnature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as wepretended to be, in showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid. ”

I assured his honour, “that the law was a science in which I had not muchconversed, further than by employing advocates, in vain, upon someinjustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all thesatisfaction I was able. ”

I said, “there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth inthe art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, that white isblack, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this societyall the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my neighbour hasa mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought to have my cowfrom me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it being againstall rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, lie under two greatdisadvantages: first, my lawyer, being practised almost from his cradlein defending falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be anadvocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always attemptswith great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second disadvantageis, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else he will bereprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his brethren, as one thatwould lessen the practice of the law. And therefore I have but twomethods to preserve my cow. The first is, to gain over my adversary’slawyer with a double fee, who will then betray his client by insinuatingthat he hath justice on his side. The second way is for my lawyer tomake my cause appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belongto my adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainlybespeak the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that thesejudges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of property, aswell as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from the mostdexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy; and having been biassed alltheir lives against truth and equity, lie under such a fatal necessity offavouring fraud, perjury, and oppression, that I have known some of themrefuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injurethe faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office. 

“It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to recordall the decisions formerly made against common justice, and the generalreason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce asauthorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions; and the judges neverfail of directing accordingly. 

“In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of thecause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon allcircumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the casealready mentioned; they never desire to know what claim or title myadversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red or black; herhorns long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or square;whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is subjectto, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn the causefrom time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue. 

“It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant andjargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein alltheir laws are written, which they take special care to multiply; wherebythey have wholly confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, ofright and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to decide, whether thefield left me by my ancestors for six generations belongs to me, or to astranger three hundred miles off. 

“In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the methodis much more short and commendable: the judge first sends to sound thedisposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang or save acriminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law. ”

Here my master interposing, said, “it was a pity, that creatures endowedwith such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers, by thedescription I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouragedto be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge. ” In answer to whichI assured his honour, “that in all points out of their own trade, theywere usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the mostdespicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge andlearning, and equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankindin every other subject of discourse as in that of their own profession. ”

CHAPTER VI. 

A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The characterof a first minister of state in European courts. 

My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives couldincite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of injuringtheir fellow-animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to himthe use of money, the materials it was made of, and the value of themetals; “that when a _Yahoo_ had got a great store of this precioussubstance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to; the finestclothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most costly meatsand drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful females. Thereforesince money alone was able to perform all these feats, our _Yahoos_thought they could never have enough of it to spend, or to save, as theyfound themselves inclined, from their natural bent either to profusion oravarice; that the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man’s labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former; thatthe bulk of our people were forced to live miserably, by labouring everyday for small wages, to make a few live plentifully. ”

I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the samepurpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went upon asupposition, that all animals had a title to their share in theproductions of the earth, and especially those who presided over therest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, “what these costlymeats were, and how any of us happened to want them?” Whereupon Ienumerated as many sorts as came into my head, with the various methodsof dressing them, which could not be done without sending vessels by seato every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for saucesand innumerable other conveniences. I assured him “that this whole globeof earth must be at least three times gone round before one of our betterfemale _Yahoos_ could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in. ” He said“that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish food for itsown inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was, how such vasttracts of ground as I described should be wholly without fresh water, andthe people put to the necessity of sending over the sea for drink. ” Ireplied “that England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed toproduce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabitants areable to consume, as well as liquors extracted from grain, or pressed outof the fruit of certain trees, which made excellent drink, and the sameproportion in every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed theluxury and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, wesent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity, that vastnumbers of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, andthe like occupations:” every one of which terms I was at much pains tomake him understand. 

“That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply thewant of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of liquid whichmade us merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted all melancholythoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised ourhopes and banished our fears, suspended every office of reason for atime, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we fell into aprofound sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awaked sickand dispirited; and that the use of this liquor filled us with diseaseswhich made our lives uncomfortable and short. 

“But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves byfurnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich and toeach other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought tobe, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; thebuilding and furniture of my house employ as many more, and five timesthe number to adorn my wife. ”

I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get theirlivelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, informedhis honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it waswith the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. “He could easily conceive, that a _Houyhnhnm_, grew weak and heavy a fewdays before his death, or by some accident might hurt a limb; but thatnature, who works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains tobreed in our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know thereason of so unaccountable an evil. ”

I told him “we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to eachother; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without theprovocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion; that prostitute female _Yahoos_acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of thosewho fell into their embraces; that this, and many other diseases, werepropagated from father to son; so that great numbers came into the worldwith complicated maladies upon them; that it would be endless to give hima catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for they would notbe fewer than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and joint—inshort, every part, external and intestine, having diseases appropriatedto itself. To remedy which, there was a sort of people bred up among usin the profession, or pretence, of curing the sick. And because I hadsome skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let himknow the whole mystery and method by which they proceed. 

“Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whencethey conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary, eitherthrough the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next businessis from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, sea-weed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders, dead men’sflesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a composition, forsmell and taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they canpossibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the same store-house, with someother poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orificeabove or below (just as the physician then happens to be disposed) amedicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxingthe belly, drives down all before it; and this they call a purge, or aclyster. For nature (as the physicians allege) having intended thesuperior anterior orifice only for the intromission of solids andliquids, and the inferior posterior for ejection, these artistsingeniously considering that in all diseases nature is forced out of herseat, therefore, to replace her in it, the body must be treated in amanner directly contrary, by interchanging the use of each orifice;forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at themouth. 

“But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are onlyimaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures; thesehave their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them;and with these our female _Yahoos_ are always infested. 

“One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics, wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when theyrise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which isalways in their power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon anyunexpected signs of amendment, after they have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to approve theirsagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose. 

“They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grownweary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, andoften to princes. ”

I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the natureof government in general, and particularly of our own excellentconstitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. Buthaving here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, “what species of _Yahoo_ I particularlymeant by that appellation. ”

I told him, “that a first or chief minister of state, who was the personI intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt from joy andgrief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no otherpassions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that heapplies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind; thathe never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for alie; nor a lie, but with a design that you should take it for a truth;that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in the surest way ofpreferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to others, or toyourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark you can receiveis a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an oath; after which, every wise man retires, and gives over all hopes. 

“There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a wife, adaughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining hispredecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public assemblies, against the corruption’s of the court. But a wise prince would ratherchoose to employ those who practise the last of these methods; becausesuch zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the willand passions of their master. That these ministers, having allemployments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribingthe majority of a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act of indemnity” (whereof I described the nature to him), “they secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the publicladen with the spoils of the nation. 

“The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in hisown trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and learn to excelin the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by persons of thebest rank; and sometimes by the force of dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to their lord. 

“He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman, who arethe tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly becalled, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom. ”

One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility ofmy country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could not pretendto deserve: “that he was sure I must have been born of some noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the_Yahoos_ of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength andagility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from thoseother brutes; and besides I was not only endowed with the faculty ofspeech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy. ”

He made me observe, “that among the _Houyhnhnms_, the white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as the bay, thedapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or acapacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the conditionof servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own race, whichin that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural. ”

I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion hewas pleased to conceive of me, but assured him at the same time, “that mybirth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain honest parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education; that nobility, amongus, was altogether a different thing from the idea he had of it; that ouryoung noblemen are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury;that, as soon as years will permit, they consume their vigour, andcontract odious diseases among lewd females; and when their fortunes arealmost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth, disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of money), whom they hateand despise. That the productions of such marriages are generallyscrofulous, rickety, or deformed children; by which means the familyseldom continues above three generations, unless the wife takes care toprovide a healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order toimprove and continue the breed. That a weak diseased body, a meagrecountenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks of noble blood;and a healthy robust appearance is so disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have been a groom or acoachman. The imperfections of his mind run parallel with those of hisbody, being a composition of spleen, dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride. 

“Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the decision of allour possessions, without appeal. ” {514}

CHAPTER VII. 

The author’s great love of his native country. His master’s observationsupon the constitution and administration of England, as described by theauthor, with parallel cases and comparisons. His master’s observationsupon human nature. 

The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself togive so free a representation of my own species, among a race of mortalswho are already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of humankind, fromthat entire congruity between me and their _Yahoos_. But I must freelyconfess, that the many virtues of those excellent quadrupeds, placed inopposite view to human corruptions, had so far opened my eyes andenlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and passionsof man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my own kindnot worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily convincedme of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the least perceptionbefore, and which, with us, would never be numbered even among humaninfirmities. I had likewise learned, from his example, an utterdetestation of all falsehood or disguise; and truth appeared so amiableto me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it. 

Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was yeta much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation ofthings. I had not yet been a year in this country before I contractedsuch a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I entered on a firmresolution never to return to humankind, but to pass the rest of my lifeamong these admirable _Houyhnhnms_, in the contemplation and practice ofevery virtue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. Butit was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a felicityshould not fall to my share. However, it is now some comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I extenuated their faults as muchas I durst before so strict an examiner; and upon every article gave asfavourable a turn as the matter would bear. For, indeed, who is therealive that will not be swayed by his bias and partiality to the place ofhis birth?

I have related the substance of several conversations I had with mymaster during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in hisservice; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much more than ishere set down. 

When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to befully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanded me tosit down at some distance (an honour which he had never before conferredupon me). He said, “he had been very seriously considering my wholestory, as far as it related both to myself and my country; that he lookedupon us as a sort of animals, to whose share, by what accident he couldnot conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we madeno other use, than by its assistance, to aggravate our naturalcorruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given us; thatwe disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had bestowed; had beenvery successful in multiplying our original wants, and seemed to spendour whole lives in vain endeavours to supply them by our own inventions;that, as to myself, it was manifest I had neither the strength noragility of a common _Yahoo_; that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet;had found out a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence, and toremove the hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter from thesun and the weather: lastly, that I could neither run with speed, norclimb trees like my brethren, ” as he called them, “the _Yahoos_ in hiscountry. 

“That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to ourgross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue; because reasonalone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was, therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge, even from the account I hadgiven of my own people; although he manifestly perceived, that, in orderto favour them, I had concealed many particulars, and often said thething which was not. 

“He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he observed, that asI agreed in every feature of my body with other _Yahoos_, except where itwas to my real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some other particulars where nature had nopart; so from the representation I had given him of our lives, ourmanners, and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in thedisposition of our minds. ” He said, “the _Yahoos_ were known to hate oneanother, more than they did any different species of animals; and thereason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes, whichall could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begunto think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that inventionconceal many of our deformities from each other, which would else behardly supportable. But he now found he had been mistaken, and that thedissensions of those brutes in his country were owing to the same causewith ours, as I had described them. For if, ” said he, “you throw amongfive _Yahoos_ as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single oneimpatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was usuallyemployed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept athome were tied at a distance from each other: that if a cow died of ageor accident, before a _Houyhnhnm_ could secure it for his own _Yahoos_, those in the neighbourhood would come in herds to seize it, and thenwould ensue such a battle as I had described, with terrible wounds madeby their claws on both sides, although they seldom were able to kill oneanother, for want of such convenient instruments of death as we hadinvented. At other times, the like battles have been fought between the_Yahoos_ of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause; those ofone district watching all opportunities to surprise the next, before theyare prepared. But if they find their project has miscarried, they returnhome, and, for want of enemies, engage in what I call a civil war amongthemselves. 

“That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones ofseveral colours, whereof the _Yahoos_ are violently fond: and when partof these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they willdig with their claws for whole days to get them out; then carry themaway, and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking roundwith great caution, for fear their comrades should find out theirtreasure. ” My master said, “he could never discover the reason of thisunnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any use to a _Yahoo_;but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle of avaricewhich I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the place where one of his_Yahoos_ had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal, missing histreasure, by his loud lamenting brought the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the rest, beganto pine away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered aservant privately to convey the stones into the same hole, and hide themas before; which, when his _Yahoo_ had found, he presently recovered hisspirits and good humour, but took good care to remove them to a betterhiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute. ”

My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, “that in thefields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and most frequentbattles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighbouring_Yahoos_. ”

He said, “it was common, when two _Yahoos_ discovered such a stone in afield, and were contending which of them should be the proprietor, athird would take the advantage, and carry it away from them both;” whichmy master would needs contend to have some kind of resemblance with oursuits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit not to undeceive him;since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many decreesamong us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing besidethe stone they contended for: whereas our courts of equity would neverhave dismissed the cause, while either of them had any thing left. 

My master, continuing his discourse, said, “there was nothing thatrendered the _Yahoos_ more odious, than their undistinguishing appetiteto devour every thing that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together: and itwas peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder of what they couldget by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than much better foodprovided for them at home. If their prey held out, they would eat tillthey were ready to burst; after which, nature had pointed out to them acertain root that gave them a general evacuation. 

“There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare anddifficult to be found, which the _Yahoos_ sought for with much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced in them the sameeffects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, andsometimes tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and chatter, andreel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud. ”

I did indeed observe that the _Yahoos_ were the only animals in thiscountry subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer thanhorses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment they meetwith, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute. Neitherhas their language any more than a general appellation for thosemaladies, which is borrowed from the name of the beast, and called_hnea-yahoo_, or _Yahoo’s evil_; and the cure prescribed is a mixture oftheir own dung and urine, forcibly put down the _Yahoo’s_ throat. This Ihave since often known to have been taken with success, and do herefreely recommend it to my countrymen for the public good, as an admirablespecific against all diseases produced by repletion. 

“As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like, ” my masterconfessed, “he could find little or no resemblance between the _Yahoos_of that country and those in ours; for he only meant to observe whatparity there was in our natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious_Houyhnhnms_ observe, that in most herds there was a sort of ruling_Yahoo_ (as among us there is generally some leading or principal stag ina park), who was always more deformed in body, and mischievous indisposition, than any of the rest; that this leader had usually afavourite as like himself as he could get, whose employment was to lickhis master’s feet and posteriors, and drive the female _Yahoos_ to hiskennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of ass’sflesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and therefore, toprotect himself, keeps always near the person of his leader. He usuallycontinues in office till a worse can be found; but the very moment he isdiscarded, his successor, at the head of all the _Yahoos_ in thatdistrict, young and old, male and female, come in a body, and dischargetheir excrements upon him from head to foot. But how far this might beapplicable to our courts, and favourites, and ministers of state, mymaster said I could best determine. ”

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased humanunderstanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has judgmentenough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever mistaken. 

My master told me, “there were some qualities remarkable in the _Yahoos_, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very slightly, inthe accounts I had given of humankind. ” He said, “those animals, likeother brutes, had their females in common; but in this they differed, that the she _Yahoo_ would admit the males while she was pregnant; andthat the hes would quarrel and fight with the females, as fiercely aswith each other; both which practices were such degrees of infamousbrutality, as no other sensitive creature ever arrived at. 

“Another thing he wondered at in the _Yahoos_, was their strangedisposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be a naturallove of cleanliness in all other animals. ” As to the two formeraccusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply, because I hadnot a word to offer upon them in defence of my species, which otherwise Icertainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could have easilyvindicated humankind from the imputation of singularity upon the lastarticle, if there had been any swine in that country (as unluckily for methere were not), which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a_Yahoo_, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to morecleanliness; and so his honour himself must have owned, if he had seentheir filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleepingin the mud. 

My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants haddiscovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. Hesaid, “a fancy would sometimes take a _Yahoo_ to retire into a corner, tolie down, and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor didthe servant imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedythey found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would infalliblycome to himself. ” To this I was silent out of partiality to my own kind;yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which onlyseizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich; who, if they were forcedto undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for the cure. 

His honour had further observed, “that a female _Yahoo_ would often standbehind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males passing by, and thenappear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at which timeit was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and when any of themales advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with acounterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient place, where sheknew the male would follow her. 

“At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four ofher own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin, andsmell her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed toexpress contempt and disdain. ”

Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which hehad drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by others;however, I could not reflect without some amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal, shouldhave place by instinct in womankind. 

I expected every moment that my master would accuse the _Yahoos_ of thoseunnatural appetites in both sexes, so common among us. But nature, itseems, has not been so expert a school-mistress; and these politerpleasures are entirely the productions of art and reason on our side ofthe globe. 

CHAPTER VIII. 

The author relates several particulars of the _Yahoos_. The greatvirtues of the _Houyhnhnms_. The education and exercise of their youth. Their general assembly. 

As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I supposed itpossible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply the character hegave of the _Yahoos_ to myself and my countrymen; and I believed I couldyet make further discoveries, from my own observation. I therefore oftenbegged his honour to let me go among the herds of _Yahoos_ in theneighbourhood; to which he always very graciously consented, beingperfectly convinced that the hatred I bore these brutes would neversuffer me to be corrupted by them; and his honour ordered one of hisservants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-natured, to be myguard; without whose protection I durst not undertake such adventures. For I have already told the reader how much I was pestered by theseodious animals, upon my first arrival; and I afterwards failed verynarrowly, three or four times, of falling into their clutches, when Ihappened to stray at any distance without my hanger. And I have reasonto believe they had some imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing mynaked arms and breasts in their sight, when my protector was with me. Atwhich times they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate myactions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with great signs of hatred;as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is always persecuted by the wildones, when he happens to be got among them. 

They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once caughta young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all marks oftenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a squalling, andscratching, and biting with such violence, that I was forced to let itgo; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old ones came about us atthe noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my sorrelnag being by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the younganimal’s flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat between aweasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot anothercircumstance (and perhaps I might have the reader’s pardon if it werewholly omitted), that while I held the odious vermin in my hands, itvoided its filthy excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over myclothes; but by good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where Iwashed myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come into mymaster’s presence until I were sufficiently aired. 

By what I could discover, the _Yahoos_ appear to be the most unteachableof all animals: their capacity never reaching higher than to draw orcarry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect arises chiefly from aperverse, restive disposition; for they are cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but of acowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent, abject, and cruel. It isobserved, that the red haired of both sexes are more libidinous andmischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength andactivity. 

The _Houyhnhnms_ keep the _Yahoos_ for present use in huts not far fromthe house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, where they digup roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and search about for carrion, orsometimes catch weasels and _luhimuhs_ (a sort of wild rat), which theygreedily devour. Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with theirnails on the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves;only the kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two orthree cubs. 

They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue longunder water, where they often take fish, which the females carry home totheir young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the reader will pardon myrelating an odd adventure. 

Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the weatherexceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and wentdown softly into the stream. It happened that a young female _Yahoo_, standing behind a bank, saw the whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all speed, and leapedinto the water, within five yards of the place where I bathed. I wasnever in my life so terribly frightened. The nag was grazing at somedistance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most fulsomemanner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came galloping towardsme, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the utmost reluctancy, andleaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood gazing and howling all thetime I was putting on my clothes. 

This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well as ofmortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny that I was areal _Yahoo_ in every limb and feature, since the females had a naturalpropensity to me, as one of their own species. Neither was the hair ofthis brute of a red colour (which might have been some excuse for anappetite a little irregular), but black as a sloe, and her countenancedid not make an appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind;for I think she could not be above eleven years old. 

Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, willexpect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account of themanners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my principalstudy to learn. 

As these noble _Houyhnhnms_ are endowed by nature with a generaldisposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of what isevil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to cultivatereason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is reason among them apoint problematical, as with us, where men can argue with plausibility onboth sides of the question, but strikes you with immediate conviction; asit must needs do, where it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured, bypassion and interest. I remember it was with extreme difficulty that Icould bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, orhow a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to affirm ordeny only where we are certain; and beyond our knowledge we cannot doeither. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are evils unknown among the_Houyhnhnms_. In the like manner, when I used to explain to him ourseveral systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh, “that a creaturepretending to reason, should value itself upon the knowledge of otherpeople’s conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it werecertain, could be of no use. ” Wherein he agreed entirely with thesentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as thehighest honour I can do that prince of philosophers. I have often sincereflected, what destruction such doctrine would make in the libraries ofEurope; and how many paths of fame would be then shut up in the learnedworld. 

Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the_Houyhnhnms_; and these not confined to particular objects, but universalto the whole race; for a stranger from the remotest part is equallytreated with the nearest neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks uponhimself as at home. They preserve decency and civility in the highestdegrees, but are altogether ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondnessfor their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating themproceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I observed my masterto show the same affection to his neighbour’s issue, that he had for hisown. They will have it that nature teaches them to love the wholespecies, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons, wherethere is a superior degree of virtue. 

When the matron _Houyhnhnms_ have produced one of each sex, they nolonger accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of their issueby some casualty, which very seldom happens; but in such a case they meetagain; or when the like accident befalls a person whose wife is pastbearing, some other couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and thengo together again until the mother is pregnant. This caution isnecessary, to prevent the country from being overburdened with numbers. But the race of inferior _Houyhnhnms_, bred up to be servants, is not sostrictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to produce three ofeach sex, to be domestics in the noble families. 

In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours aswill not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is chieflyvalued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not upon the account oflove, but to preserve the race from degenerating; for where a femalehappens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen, with regard tocomeliness. 

Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in theirthoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their language. The youngcouple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the determination oftheir parents and friends; it is what they see done every day, and theylook upon it as one of the necessary actions of a reasonable being. Butthe violation of marriage, or any other unchastity, was never heard of;and the married pair pass their lives with the same friendship and mutualbenevolence, that they bear to all others of the same species who come intheir way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent. 

In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, andhighly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grainof oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor milk, butvery rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and asmany in the evening, which their parents likewise observe; but theservants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part of theirgrass is brought home, which they eat at the most convenient hours, whenthey can be best spared from work. 

Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons equallyenjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master thought itmonstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of education fromthe males, except in some articles of domestic management; whereby, as hetruly observed, one half of our natives were good for nothing butbringing children into the world; and to trust the care of our childrento such useless animals, he said, was yet a greater instance ofbrutality. 

But the _Houyhnhnms_ train up their youth to strength, speed, andhardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat, they areordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or river. Four times ayear the youth of a certain district meet to show their proficiency inrunning and leaping, and other feats of strength and agility; where thevictor is rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of _Yahoos_ into the field, laden with hay, andoats, and milk, for a repast to the _Houyhnhnms_; after which, thesebrutes are immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome tothe assembly. 

Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representativecouncil of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty milesfrom our house, and continues about five or six days. Here they inquireinto the state and condition of the several districts; whether theyabound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or _Yahoos_; and whereverthere is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied byunanimous consent and contribution. Here likewise the regulation ofchildren is settled: as for instance, if a _Houyhnhnm_ has two males, hechanges one of them with another that has two females; and when a childhas been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it isdetermined what family in the district shall breed another to supply theloss. 

CHAPTER IX. 

A grand debate at the general assembly of the _Houyhnhnms_, and how itwas determined. The learning of the _Houyhnhnms_. Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The defectiveness of their language. 

One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three monthsbefore my departure, whither my master went as the representative of ourdistrict. In this council was resumed their old debate, and indeed theonly debate that ever happened in their country; whereof my master, afterhis return, give me a very particular account. 

The question to be debated was, “whether the _Yahoos_ should beexterminated from the face of the earth?” One of the members for theaffirmative offered several arguments of great strength and weight, alleging, “that as the _Yahoos_ were the most filthy, noisome, anddeformed animals which nature ever produced, so they were the mostrestive and indocible, mischievous and malicious; they would privatelysuck the teats of the _Houyhnhnms’_ cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies. ” He took notice of a generaltradition, “that _Yahoos_ had not been always in their country; but thatmany ages ago, two of these brutes appeared together upon a mountain;whether produced by the heat of the sun upon corrupted mud and slime, orfrom the ooze and froth of the sea, was never known; that these _Yahoos_engendered, and their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as tooverrun and infest the whole nation; that the _Houyhnhnms_, to get rid ofthis evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole herd;and destroying the elder, every _Houyhnhnm_ kept two young ones in akennel, and brought them to such a degree of tameness, as an animal, sosavage by nature, can be capable of acquiring, using them for draught andcarriage; that there seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and thatthose creatures could not be _yinhniamshy_ (or _aborigines_ of the land), because of the violent hatred the _Houyhnhnms_, as well as all otheranimals, bore them, which, although their evil disposition sufficientlydeserved, could never have arrived at so high a degree if they had been_aborigines_, or else they would have long since been rooted out; thatthe inhabitants, taking a fancy to use the service of the _Yahoos_, had, very imprudently, neglected to cultivate the breed of asses, which are acomely animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensivesmell, strong enough for labour, although they yield to the other inagility of body, and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is farpreferable to the horrible howlings of the _Yahoos_. ”

Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when mymaster proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeedborrowed the hint from me. “He approved of the tradition mentioned bythe honourable member who spoke before, and affirmed, that the two_Yahoos_ said to be seen first among them, had been driven thither overthe sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by their companions, they retired to the mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became inprocess of time much more savage than those of their own species in thecountry whence these two originals came. The reason of this assertionwas, that he had now in his possession a certain wonderful _Yahoo_(meaning myself) which most of them had heard of, and many of them hadseen. He then related to them how he first found me; that my body wasall covered with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of otheranimals; that I spoke in a language of my own, and had thoroughly learnedtheirs; that I had related to him the accidents which brought me thither;that when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact _Yahoo_ in everypart, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with shorter claws. Headded, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in my own and othercountries, the _Yahoos_ acted as the governing, rational animal, and heldthe _Houyhnhnms_ in servitude; that he observed in me all the qualitiesof a _Yahoo_, only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason, which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to the _Houyhnhnm_ race, as the _Yahoos_ of their country were to me; that, among other things, Imentioned a custom we had of castrating _Houyhnhnms_ when they wereyoung, in order to render them tame; that the operation was easy andsafe; that it was no shame to learn wisdom from brutes, as industry istaught by the ant, and building by the swallow (for so I translate theword _lyhannh_, although it be a much larger fowl); that this inventionmight be practised upon the younger _Yahoos_ here, which besidesrendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an endto the whole species, without destroying life; that in the mean time the_Houyhnhnms_ should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have thisadvantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the others arenot till twelve. ”

This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of whatpassed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal oneparticular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt theunhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence Idate all the succeeding misfortunes of my life. 

The _Houyhnhnms_ have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is alltraditional. But there happening few events of any moment among a peopleso well united, naturally disposed to every virtue, wholly governed byreason, and cut off from all commerce with other nations, the historicalpart is easily preserved without burdening their memories. I havealready observed that they are subject to no diseases, and therefore canhave no need of physicians. However, they have excellent medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and cuts in the pastern orfrog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other maims and hurts inthe several parts of the body. 

They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but use nosubdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted with themotions of those two luminaries, and understand the nature of eclipses;and this is the utmost progress of their astronomy. 

In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein thejustness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness oftheir descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very muchin both of these, and usually contain either some exalted notions offriendship and benevolence or the praises of those who were victors inraces and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very rudeand simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them fromall injuries of cold and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at fortyyears old loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it growsvery straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the_Houyhnhnms_ know not the use of iron), they stick them erect in theground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat straw, orsometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after the same manner, and so are the doors. 

The _Houyhnhnms_ use the hollow part, between the pastern and the hoof oftheir fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with greater dexterity thanI could at first imagine. I have seen a white mare of our family threada needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that joint. They milk theircows, reap their oats, and do all the work which requires hands, in thesame manner. They have a kind of hard flints, which, by grinding againstother stones, they form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools made of these flints, they likewise cuttheir hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in severalfields; the _Yahoos_ draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the servantstread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain, which is kept instores. They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden vessels, and bakethe former in the sun. 

If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried inthe obscurest places that can be found, their friends and relationsexpressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor does the dyingperson discover the least regret that he is leaving the world, any morethan if he were upon returning home from a visit to one of hisneighbours. I remember my master having once made an appointment with afriend and his family to come to his house, upon some affair ofimportance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two children came verylate; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that very morning to _shnuwnh_. The word is strongly expressivein their language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, “to retire to his first mother. ” Her excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good whileconsulting her servants about a convenient place where his body should belaid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our house as cheerfully asthe rest. She died about three months after. 

They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom tofourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual decay; butwithout pain. During this time they are much visited by their friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death, which they seldom fail incomputing, they return the visits that have been made them by those whoare nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledgedrawn by _Yahoos_; which vehicle they use, not only upon this occasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are lamed by anyaccident: and therefore when the dying _Houyhnhnms_ return those visits, they take a solemn leave of their friends, as if they were going to someremote part of the country, where they designed to pass the rest of theirlives. 

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the _Houyhnhnms_ haveno word in their language to express any thing that is evil, except whatthey borrow from the deformities or ill qualities of the _Yahoos_. Thusthey denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone thatcuts their feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and thelike, by adding to each the epithet of _Yahoo_. For instance, _hhnmYahoo_; _whnaholm Yahoo_, _ynlhmndwihlma Yahoo_, and an ill-contrivedhouse _ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo_. 

I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners andvirtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time topublish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer thereader thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own sadcatastrophe. 

CHAPTER X. 

The author’s economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms. His greatimprovement in virtue by conversing with them. Their conversations. Theauthor has notice given him by his master, that he must depart from thecountry. He falls into a swoon for grief; but submits. He contrives andfinishes a canoe by the help of a fellow-servant, and puts to sea at aventure. 

I had settled my little economy to my own heart’s content. My master hadordered a room to be made for me, after their manner, about six yardsfrom the house: the sides and floors of which I plastered with clay, andcovered with rush-mats of my own contriving. I had beaten hemp, whichthere grows wild, and made of it a sort of ticking; this I filled withthe feathers of several birds I had taken with springes made of _Yahoos’_hairs, and were excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the grosser and more laborious part. Whenmy clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with the skins ofrabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the same size, called_nnuhnoh_, the skin of which is covered with a fine down. Of these Ialso made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with wood, which Icut from a tree, and fitted to the upper-leather; and when this was wornout, I supplied it with the skins of _Yahoos_ dried in the sun. I oftengot honey out of hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with mybread. No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims, “Thatnature is very easily satisfied;” and, “That necessity is the mother ofinvention. ” I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of mind;I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuriesof a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, orpimping, to procure the favour of any great man, or of his minion; Iwanted no fence against fraud or oppression: here was neither physicianto destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to watchmy words and actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here wereno gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party and faction; no encouragersto vice, by seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; nopride, vanity, or affectation; no fops, bullies, drunkards, strollingwhores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proudpedants; no importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the dust uponthe merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on account of theirvirtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters. 

I had the favour of being admitted to several _Houyhnhnms_, who came tovisit or dine with my master; where his honour graciously suffered me towait in the room, and listen to their discourse. Both he and his companywould often descend to ask me questions, and receive my answers. I hadalso sometimes the honour of attending my master in his visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a question; and then I didit with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time forimproving myself; but I was infinitely delighted with the station of anhumble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed but what wasuseful, expressed in the fewest and most significant words; where, as Ihave already said, the greatest decency was observed, without the leastdegree of ceremony; where no person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of sentiments. They have a notion, thatwhen people are met together, a short silence does much improveconversation: this I found to be true; for during those littleintermissions of talk, new ideas would arise in their minds, which verymuch enlivened the discourse. Their subjects are, generally onfriendship and benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes upon thevisible operations of nature, or ancient traditions; upon the bounds andlimits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon somedeterminations to be taken at the next great assembly: and often upon thevarious excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity, that mypresence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because itafforded my master an occasion of letting his friends into the history ofme and my country, upon which they were all pleased to descant, in amanner not very advantageous to humankind: and for that reason I shallnot repeat what they said; only I may be allowed to observe, that hishonour, to my great admiration, appeared to understand the nature of_Yahoos_ much better than myself. He went through all our vices andfollies, and discovered many, which I had never mentioned to him, by onlysupposing what qualities a _Yahoo_ of their country, with a smallproportion of reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded, withtoo much probability, “how vile, as well as miserable, such a creaturemust be. ”

I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value, wasacquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from hearing thediscourses of him and his friends; to which I should be prouder tolisten, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly in Europe. Iadmired the strength, comeliness, and speed of the inhabitants; and sucha constellation of virtues, in such amiable persons, produced in me thehighest veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural awe, which the _Yahoos_ and all other animals bear toward them; but it grewupon me by decrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with arespectful love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguishme from the rest of my species. 

When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human racein general, I considered them, as they really were, _Yahoos_ in shape anddisposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the giftof speech; but making no other use of reason, than to improve andmultiply those vices whereof their brethren in this country had only theshare that nature allotted them. When I happened to behold thereflection of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face inhorror and detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of acommon _Yahoo_ than of my own person. By conversing with the_Houyhnhnms_, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to imitate theirgait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit; and my friends oftentell me, in a blunt way, “that I trot like a horse;” which, however, Itake for a great compliment. Neither shall I disown, that in speaking Iam apt to fall into the voice and manner of the _Houyhnhnms_, and hearmyself ridiculed on that account, without the least mortification. 

In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to befully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a littleearlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he wasin some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short silence, he told me, “he did not know how I would take whathe was going to say: that in the last general assembly, when the affairof the _Yahoos_ was entered upon, the representatives had taken offenceat his keeping a _Yahoo_ (meaning myself) in his family, more like a_Houyhnhnm_ than a brute animal; that he was known frequently to conversewith me, as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my company;that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, or a thingever heard of before among them; the assembly did therefore exhort himeither to employ me like the rest of my species, or command me to swimback to the place whence I came: that the first of these expedients wasutterly rejected by all the _Houyhnhnms_ who had ever seen me at hishouse or their own; for they alleged, that because I had some rudimentsof reason, added to the natural pravity of those animals, it was to befeared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and mountainousparts of the country, and bring them in troops by night to destroy the_Houyhnhnms’_ cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous kind, and aversefrom labour. ”

My master added, “that he was daily pressed by the _Houyhnhnms_ of theneighbourhood to have the assembly’s exhortation executed, which he couldnot put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me toswim to another country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sortof vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might carry meon the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of his ownservants, as well as those of his neighbours. ” He concluded, “that forhis own part, he could have been content to keep me in his service aslong as I lived; because he found I had cured myself of some bad habitsand dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior nature wascapable, to imitate the _Houyhnhnms_. ”

I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the generalassembly in this country is expressed by the word _hnhloayn_, whichsignifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they have noconception how a rational creature can be compelled, but only advised, orexhorted; because no person can disobey reason, without giving up hisclaim to be a rational creature. 

I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master’s discourse;and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell into a swoonat his feet. When I came to myself, he told me “that he concluded I hadbeen dead;” for these people are subject to no such imbecilities ofnature. I answered in a faint voice, “that death would have been toogreat a happiness; that although I could not blame the assembly’sexhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak and corruptjudgment, I thought it might consist with reason to have been lessrigorous; that I could not swim a league, and probably the nearest landto theirs might be distant above a hundred: that many materials, necessary for making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wantingin this country; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience andgratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to destruction; thatthe certain prospect of an unnatural death was the least of my evils;for, supposing I should escape with life by some strange adventure, howcould I think with temper of passing my days among _Yahoos_, andrelapsing into my old corruptions, for want of examples to lead and keepme within the paths of virtue? that I knew too well upon what solidreasons all the determinations of the wise _Houyhnhnms_ were founded, notto be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable _Yahoo_; and therefore, after presenting him with my humble thanks for the offer of his servants’assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for sodifficult a work, I told him I would endeavour to preserve a wretchedbeing; and if ever I returned to England, was not without hopes of beinguseful to my own species, by celebrating the praises of the renowned_Houyhnhnms_, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of mankind. ”

My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply; allowed me thespace of two months to finish my boat; and ordered the sorrel nag, myfellow-servant (for so, at this distance, I may presume to call him), tofollow my instruction; because I told my master, “that his help would besufficient, and I knew he had a tenderness for me. ”

In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the coastwhere my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I got upon aheight, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied I saw a smallisland toward the north-east. I took out my pocket glass, and could thenclearly distinguish it above five leagues off, as I computed; but itappeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud: for as he had noconception of any country beside his own, so he could not be as expert indistinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so much converse in thatelement. 

After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but resolvedit should if possible, be the first place of my banishment, leaving theconsequence to fortune. 

I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a copseat some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a wooden handle, cutdown several oak wattles, about the thickness of a walking-staff, andsome larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the reader with a particulardescription of my own mechanics; let it suffice to say, that in six weekstime with the help of the sorrel nag, who performed the parts thatrequired most labour, I finished a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins of _Yahoos_, well stitched together withhempen threads of my own making. My sail was likewise composed of theskins of the same animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, theolder being too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with fourpaddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls, andtook with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other with water. 

I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master’s house, and thencorrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with _Yahoos’_tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and my freight; and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on acarriage very gently by _Yahoos_ to the sea-side, under the conduct ofthe sorrel nag and another servant. 

When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave of mymaster and lady and the whole family, my eyes flowing with tears, and myheart quite sunk with grief. But his honour, out of curiosity, and, perhaps, (if I may speak without vanity, ) partly out of kindness, wasdetermined to see me in my canoe, and got several of his neighbouringfriends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an hour for thetide; and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing toward theisland to which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave ofmy master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, hedid me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not ignorant howmuch I have been censured for mentioning this last particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so illustrious aperson should descend to give so great a mark of distinction to acreature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten how apt sometravellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they have received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with the noble andcourteous disposition of the _Houyhnhnms_, they would soon change theiropinion. 

I paid my respects to the rest of the _Houyhnhnms_ in his honour’scompany; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from shore. 

CHAPTER XI. 

The author’s dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping tosettle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is seizedand carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of thecaptain. The author arrives at England. 

I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714–15, at nine o’clock inthe morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I made use at firstonly of my paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and that thewind might chop about, I ventured to set up my little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at the rate of a league and a half anhour, as near as I could guess. My master and his friends continued onthe shore till I was almost out of sight; and I often heard the sorrelnag (who always loved me) crying out, “_Hnuy illa nyha_, _majah Yahoo_;”“Take care of thyself, gentle _Yahoo_. ”

My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater happiness, than to be first ministerin the politest court of Europe; so horrible was the idea I conceived ofreturning to live in the society, and under the government of _Yahoos_. For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my ownthoughts, and reflect with delight on the virtues of those inimitable_Houyhnhnms_, without an opportunity of degenerating into the vices andcorruptions of my own species. 

The reader may remember what I related, when my crew conspired againstme, and confined me to my cabin; how I continued there several weekswithout knowing what course we took; and when I was put ashore in thelong-boat, how the sailors told me, with oaths, whether true or false, “that they knew not in what part of the world we were. ” However, I didthen believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of GoodHope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from somegeneral words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the south-eastin their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this were littlebetter than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New Holland, and perhaps somesuch island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had gone eastward at leasteighteen leagues; when I spied a very small island about half a leagueoff, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one creeknaturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, andclimbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe; andrepeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven hours to thesouth-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me in the opinion I havelong entertained, that the maps and charts place this country at leastthree degrees more to the east than it really is; which thought Icommunicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr. Herman Moll, andgave him my reasons for it, although he has rather chosen to follow otherauthors. 

I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed, Iwas afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shellfish onthe shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear ofbeing discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding onoysters and limpets, to save my own provisions; and I fortunately found abrook of excellent water, which gave me great relief. 

On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty orthirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from me. Theywere stark naked, men, women, and children, round a fire, as I coulddiscover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and gave notice to therest; five of them advanced toward me, leaving the women and children atthe fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and, getting into mycanoe, shoved off: the savages, observing me retreat, ran after me: andbefore I could get far enough into the sea, discharged an arrow whichwounded me deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the markto my grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling outof the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a shift to suckthe wound, and dress it as well as I could. 

I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the samelanding-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for thewind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-west. As I waslooking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a sail to thenorth-north-east, which appearing every minute more visible, I was insome doubt whether I should wait for them or not; but at last mydetestation of the _Yahoo_ race prevailed: and turning my canoe, I sailedand paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek whence Iset out in the morning, choosing rather to trust myself among thesebarbarians, than live with European _Yahoos_. I drew up my canoe asclose as I could to the shore, and hid myself behind a stone by thelittle brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent water. 

The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long boatwith vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems, was verywell known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was almost on shore;and it was too late to seek another hiding-place. The seamen at theirlanding observed my canoe, and rummaging it all over, easily conjecturedthat the owner could not be far off. Four of them, well armed, searchedevery cranny and lurking-hole, till at last they found me flat on my facebehind the stone. They gazed awhile in admiration at my strange uncouthdress; my coat made of skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my furredstockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native of theplace, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very well, and gettingupon my feet, said, “I was a poor _Yahoo_ banished from the _Houyhnhnms_, and desired they would please to let me depart. ” They admired to hear meanswer them in their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be aEuropean; but were at a loss to know what I meant by _Yahoos_ and_Houyhnhnms_; and at the same time fell a-laughing at my strange tone inspeaking, which resembled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all thewhile betwixt fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and wasgently moving to my canoe; but they laid hold of me, desiring to know, “what country I was of? whence I came?” with many other questions. Itold them “I was born in England, whence I came about five years ago, andthen their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they wouldnot treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a poor_Yahoo_ seeking some desolate place where to pass the remainder of hisunfortunate life. ”

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing moreunnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow shouldspeak in England, or a _Yahoo_ in _Houyhnhnmland_. The honest Portuguesewere equally amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of deliveringmy words, which, however, they understood very well. They spoke to mewith great humanity, and said, “they were sure the captain would carry me_gratis_ to Lisbon, whence I might return to my own country; that two ofthe seamen would go back to the ship, inform the captain of what they hadseen, and receive his orders; in the mean time, unless I would give mysolemn oath not to fly, they would secure me by force. I thought it bestto comply with their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I gave them very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured thatmy misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which wentladen with vessels of water, returned, with the captain’s command tofetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my liberty; but allwas in vain; and the men, having tied me with cords, heaved me into theboat, whence I was taken into the ship, and thence into the captain’scabin. 

His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generousperson. He entreated me to give some account of myself, and desired toknow what I would eat or drink; said, “I should be used as well ashimself;” and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find suchcivilities from a _Yahoo_. However, I remained silent and sullen; I wasready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At last I desiredsomething to eat out of my own canoe; but he ordered me a chicken, andsome excellent wine, and then directed that I should be put to bed in avery clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay on thebed-clothes, and in half an hour stole out, when I thought the crew wasat dinner, and getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap intothe sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among _Yahoos_. Butone of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I waschained to my cabin. 

After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason for sodesperate an attempt; assured me, “he only meant to do me all the servicehe was able;” and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended totreat him like an animal which had some little portion of reason. I gavehim a very short relation of my voyage; of the conspiracy against me bymy own men; of the country where they set me on shore, and of my fiveyears residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a dream ora vision; whereat I took great offence; for I had quite forgot thefaculty of lying, so peculiar to _Yahoos_, in all countries where theypreside, and, consequently, their disposition of suspecting truth inothers of their own species. I asked him, “whether it were the custom inhis country to say the thing which was not?” I assured him, “I hadalmost forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I had lived a thousandyears in _Houyhnhnmland_, I should never have heard a lie from themeanest servant; that I was altogether indifferent whether he believed meor not; but, however, in return for his favours, I would give so muchallowance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any objection hewould please to make, and then he might easily discover the truth. ”

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping insome part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of myveracity. But he added, “that since I professed so inviolable anattachment to truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear himcompany in this voyage, without attempting any thing against my life; orelse he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon. ” I gavehim the promise he required; but at the same time protested, “that Iwould suffer the greatest hardships, rather than return to live among_Yahoos_. ”

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude to thecaptain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest request, and strove toconceal my antipathy against human kind, although it often broke out;which he suffered to pass without observation. But the greatest part ofthe day I confined myself to my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he had. This I would notbe prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing thathad been on the back of a _Yahoo_. I only desired he would lend me twoclean shirts, which, having been washed since he wore them, I believedwould not so much defile me. These I changed every second day, andwashed them myself. 

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain forcedme to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from crowdingabout me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at my earnest request heled me up to the highest room backwards. I conjured him “to conceal fromall persons what I had told him of the _Houyhnhnms_; because the leasthint of such a story would not only draw numbers of people to see me, butprobably put me in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by theInquisition. ” The captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes newlymade; but I would not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however, DonPedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He accoutredme with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for twenty-four hoursbefore I would use them. 

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which weresuffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really began to toleratehis company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out ofthe back window. By degrees I was brought into another room, whence Ipeeped into the street, but drew my head back in a fright. In a week’stime he seduced me down to the door. I found my terror graduallylessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at lastbold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose wellstopped with rue, or sometimes with tobacco. 

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my domesticaffairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and conscience, “that Iought to return to my native country, and live at home with my wife andchildren. ” He told me, “there was an English ship in the port just readyto sail, and he would furnish me with all things necessary. ” It would betedious to repeat his arguments, and my contradictions. He said, “it wasaltogether impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to livein; but I might command in my own house, and pass my time in a manner asrecluse as I pleased. ”

I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was the master Inever inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and lent me twentypounds. He took kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which Ibore as well as I could. During this last voyage I had no commerce withthe master or any of his men; but, pretending I was sick, kept close inmy cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at three in the afternoon I got safe to myhouse at Rotherhith. {546}

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because theyconcluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of themfilled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt; and the more, byreflecting on the near alliance I had to them. For although, since myunfortunate exile from the _Houyhnhnm_ country, I had compelled myself totolerate the sight of _Yahoos_, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the virtuesand ideas of those exalted _Houyhnhnms_. And when I began to considerthat, by copulating with one of the _Yahoo_ species I had become a parentof more, it struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror. 

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and kissedme; at which, having not been used to the touch of that odious animal forso many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At the time I amwriting, it is five years since my last return to England. During thefirst year, I could not endure my wife or children in my presence; thevery smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eatin the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of themtake me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two youngstone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groomis my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell hecontracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably well; Iconverse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers tobridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and friendship to eachother. 

CHAPTER XII. 

The author’s veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censureof those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author clears himselffrom any sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method ofplanting colonies. His native country commended. The right of the crownto those countries described by the author is justified. The difficultyof conquering them. The author takes his last leave of the reader;proposes his manner of living for the future; gives good advice, andconcludes. 

Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travelsfor sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have not been sostudious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like others, haveastonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose torelate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner and style; because myprincipal design was to inform, and not to amuse thee. 

It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldomvisited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions ofwonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller’s chief aimshould be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by thebad, as well as good, example of what they deliver concerning foreignplaces. 

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before hewere permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make oathbefore the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print wasabsolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would nolonger be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make theirworks pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest falsities onthe unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels with greatdelight in my younger days; but having since gone over most parts of theglobe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my ownobservation, it has given me a great disgust against this part ofreading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind soimpudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased tothink my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, Iimposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I wouldstrictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the leasttemptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures andexample of my noble master and the other illustrious _Houyhnhnms_ of whomI had so long the honour to be an humble hearer. 

 _—Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem_ _Finxit_, _vanum etiam_, _mendacemque improba finget_. 

I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings whichrequire neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent, excepta good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that writers oftravels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by the weight andbulk of those who come last, and therefore lie uppermost. And it ishighly probable, that such travellers, who shall hereafter visit thecountries described in this work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (ifthere be any), and adding many new discoveries of their own, justle meout of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever Iwas an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if Iwrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I cannot bealtogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I havementioned in the glorious _Houyhnhnms_, without being ashamed of his ownvices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing animal ofhis country? I shall say nothing of those remote nations where _Yahoos_preside; among which the least corrupted are the _Brobdingnagians_; whosewise maxims in morality and government it would be our happiness toobserve. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave thejudicious reader to his own remarks and application. 

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet withno censurers: for what objections can be made against a writer, whorelates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries, wherewe have not the least interest, with respect either to trade ornegotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which commonwriters of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle notthe least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, orill-will against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for thenoblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, withoutbreach of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the advantages Ireceived by conversing so long among the most accomplished _Houyhnhnms_. I write without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word topass that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offence, even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may withjustice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless; against whom thetribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find matter for exercising theirtalents. 

I confess, it was whispered to me, “that I was bound in duty, as asubject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of stateat my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by asubject belong to the crown. ” But I doubt whether our conquests in thecountries I treat of would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez overthe naked Americans. The _Lilliputians_, I think, are hardly worth thecharge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether itmight be prudent or safe to attempt the _Brobdingnagians_; or whether anEnglish army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island overtheir heads. The _Houyhnhnms_ indeed appear not to be so well preparedfor war, a science to which they are perfect strangers, and especiallyagainst missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be a minister ofstate, I could never give my advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country, would amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twentythousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army, confoundingthe ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the warriors’ faces intomummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs; for they would welldeserve the character given to Augustus, _Recalcitrat undique tutus_. But, instead of proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, Irather wish they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficientnumber of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us thefirst principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names ofall which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and areto be met with in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able toassert from my own small reading. 

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge hismajesty’s dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had conceiveda few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of princes uponthose occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a stormthey know not whither; at length a boy discovers land from the topmast;they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a harmless people, areentertained with kindness; they give the country a new name; they takeformal possession of it for their king; they set up a rotten plank, or astone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample; return home, and gettheir pardon. Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title bydivine right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity; the nativesdriven out or destroyed; their princes tortured to discover their gold; afree license given to all acts of inhumanity and lust, the earth reekingwith the blood of its inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convertand civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the Britishnation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for theadvancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and ablepastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking theirprovinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this themother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, insupplying the civil administration through all their colonies withofficers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous governors, whohave no other views than the happiness of the people over whom theypreside, and the honour of the king their master. 

But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have anydesire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out bycolonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I didhumbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, ourvalour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns thinkfit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall belawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries beforeme. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a disputemay arise concerning the two _Yahoos_, said to have been seen many yearsago upon a mountain in _Houyhnhnmland_. 

But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign’s name, itnever came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs thenstood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and self-preservation, haveput it off to a better opportunity. 

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised againstme as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at Redriff;to apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned among the_Houyhnhnms_; to instruct the _Yahoos_ of my own family, is far as Ishall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight ofa human creature; to lament the brutality to _Houyhnhnms_ in my owncountry, but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of mynoble master, his family, his friends, and the whole _Houyhnhnm_ race, whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate. 

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at thefarthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost brevity)the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a _Yahoo_ continuingvery offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, ortobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in life toremove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some time, tosuffer a neighbour _Yahoo_ in my company, without the apprehensions I amyet under of his teeth or his claws. 

My reconcilement to the _Yahoo_ kind in general might not be sodifficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies onlywhich nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at thesight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, apolitician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, anattorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to the due courseof things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both inbody and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all the measuresof my patience; neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such ananimal, and such a vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous_Houyhnhnms_, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a rationalcreature, have no name for this vice in their language, which has noterms to express any thing that is evil, except those whereby theydescribe the detestable qualities of their _Yahoos_, among which theywere not able to distinguish this of pride, for want of thoroughlyunderstanding human nature, as it shows itself in other countries wherethat animal presides. But I, who had more experience, could plainlyobserve some rudiments of it among the wild _Yahoos_. 

But the _Houyhnhnms_, who live under the government of reason, are nomore proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for notwanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of, although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon thissubject from the desire I have to make the society of an English _Yahoo_by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those whohave any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to comein my sight. 

FOOTNOTES:

{301} A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half. 

{330} An act of parliament has been since passed by which some breachesof trust have been made capital. 

{454a} Britannia. —_Sir W. Scott_. 

{454b} London. —_Sir W. Scott_. 

{455} This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). Theabove paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another form, commencing:—“I told him that should I happen to live in a kingdom wherelots were in vogue, ” &c. The names Tribnia and Langdon an not mentioned, and the “close stool” and its signification do not occur. 

{514} This paragraph is not in the original editions. 

{546} The original editions and Hawksworth’s have Rotherhith here, though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver’s homein England.