OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

By Belle K. Maniates

AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY

MILDEW MANCE

OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

[Illustration: "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him. FRONTISPIECE. _See page 114. _]

OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

By

Belle Kanaris Maniates

With illustrations by

Tony Sarg

Boston

Little, Brown, and Company

1917

Copyright, 1917, By Little, Brown, and Company. 

All rights reserved

Published February, 1917

Norwood Press

Set up and electrotyped by J. S. Cushing Co. , Norwood, Mass. , U. S. A. 

Presswork by The Colonial Press, Boston, Mass. , U. S. A. 

CONTENTS

 I ABOUT SILVIA AND MYSELF 1 II INTRODUCING OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS 9 III IN WHICH WE ARE PESTERED BY POLYDORES 28 IV IN WHICH WE TAKE BOARDERS 45 V IN WHICH WE TAKE A VACATION 61 VI A FLIRT AND A WOMAN-HATER 77 VII IN WHICH NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS 90 VIII PTOLEMY DISAPPEARS AND I VISIT A HAUNTED HOUSE 99 IX IN WHICH WE SEE GHOSTS 123 X IN WHICH WE MAKE SOME DISCOVERIES 138 XI A BAD MEANS TO A GOOD END 152 XII "TOO MUCH POLYDORES" 164 XIII ROB'S FRIEND THE REPORTER 173 XIV A MIDNIGHT EXCURSION 195 XV WHAT MISS FRAYNE FOUND OUT 203 XVI PTOLEMY'S TALE 213 XVII ALL ABOUT UNCLE ISSACHAR'S VISIT 229 XVIII IN WHICH I DECIDE ON EXTREME MEASURES 254 XIX WHICH HAS TO DO WITH SOME LETTERS 267 XX "THE MONEY WE EARNT FOR YOU" 276

ILLUSTRATIONS

 "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him. _Frontispiece_ Uncle Issachar 10 Dr. Felix Polydore 23 "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth and Rob. " 80 He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us. 102 I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to pull together and beat it to the lake 126 The landlady intears waylaid me 132 I had to carry Diogenes most of the way 168 Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive protests outside the door 192 I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an injured air 224 "He went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on the old gent's head. " 242 "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald from underneath. " 256

OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOURS

CHAPTER I

_About Silvia and Myself_

Some people have children born unto them, some acquire children andothers have children thrust upon them. Silvia and I are of the lastnamed class. We have no offspring of our own, but yesterday, today, and forever we have those of our neighbor. 

We were born and bred in the same little home-grown city and as asmall boy, even, I was Silvia's worshiper, but perforce a worshiperfrom afar. 

Her upcoming had been supervised by a grimalkin governess who drewaround the form of her young charge the awful circle of exclusiveness, intercourse with child-kind being strictly prohibited. 

Children are naturally gregarious little creatures, however, andSilvia on rare occasions managed to break parole and make adroitescape from surveillance. Then she would speed to the top of theboundary wall that separated the stable precincts from an alluringalley which was the playground of the plebeian progeny of the humbleborn. 

To the circle of dirty but fascinating ragamuffins she became aninterested tangent, a silent observer. Here I had my first meetingwith her. I was not of her class, neither was I to the alley born, butsailed in the sane mid-channel that ameliorates the distinctionbetween high and low life. 

On this eventful day I was taking a short cut on my way to school. Oneof the group of alleyites, with the inherent friendliness of theunchartered but big-hearted members of the silt of the stream ofhumans, had proffered to little Silvia a chip on which was a patch ofmud designed to become a fruitcake stuffed with pebbles in lieu ofraisins and frosted with moistened ashes. Before the enticing pastimeof transformation was begun, however, Silvia was swiftly snatched fromthe contaminating midst and borne away over the ramparts. 

Thereafter I haunted the alley, hoping for another glimpse of thelittle picture girl on the wall. At last I attained my desire. OneSaturday afternoon I saw her coming, alone, down a long rosebushbordered path. A thrill ran through me. Our eyes met. Yet all I foundto say was: "C'mon over. "

She responded to this invitation and I helped her over the wall. Shelooked longingly at the Irish playing in the mud, but a clean sandpilein my own backyard not far away seemed to me a more fittingenvironment for one so daintily clad. 

We played undisturbed for a never-to-be-forgotten half hour and thenthey found her out. Reprimanding voices jangled and the whole worldwas out of tune. 

Thereafter a strict watch was kept on little Silvia's movements and Isaw her only at rare intervals, when she was going into church or asshe rode past our house. She always remembered me and on suchmeetings a faint, reminiscent smile lighted the somber little face andher eyes met mine as if in a mysterious promise. 

She grew up an outlawed, isolated child deprived of her birthright, but in spite of the handicaps of so barren a childhood, she achievedyoung womanhood unspoiled and in possession of her early democratictendencies. 

When I was making a modest start in a legal way, her parents died andleft her with that most unprofitable of legacies, an encumberedestate. Then I dared to renew our acquaintance begun on the sandpile. She went to live with a poor but practical relation and was initiatedinto the science of stretching an inadequate income to meet everydayneeds. In time I wooed and won her. 

We set up housekeeping in a small, thriving mid-Western city where Isecured a partnership in a legal firm. Silvia had all the requisitesof mind and manner and Domestic Science necessary to a "hearth-andhome-" maker. 

We lived in a house which was one of many made to the same measurewith the inevitable street porch, big window, trimmed lawn in frontand garden in the rear. We had attained the standard of prosperitymaintained in our home town by keeping "hired help" and installing atelephone, so our social status was fixed. 

There was but one adjunct missing to our little Arcadia. While at aword or look children flocked to me like friendly puppies in responseto a call, to Silvia they were still an unknown quantity. 

I had hoped that her understanding and love for children might bedeveloped in the usual and natural way, but we had now been marriedten years and this hope had not been realized. 

She had tried most assiduously to cultivate an acquaintance withmembers of child-world, but into that kingdom there is no open sesame. The sure keen intuition of a child recognizes on sight a kindredspirit and Silvia's forced advances met with but indifferent response. She wistfully proposed to me one day that we adopt a child. My doubtsas to the advisability of such a course were confirmed by Huldah, ourstrong staff in household help. In our section of the country servantswere generally quite conversant with the intimate and personal affairsof the home. 

"Don't you never do it, Mr. Wade, " she counseled. "Ready-mades ain'tfor the likes of her. "

When, in acting on this advice, I vetoed Silvia's lukewarmproposition, I was convinced of Huldah's wisdom by seeing the look ofrelief that flashed into my wife's troubled countenance, and I knewthat her suggestion had been but a perfunctory prompting of duty. 

Time alone could overcome the effects of her early environment!

CHAPTER II

_Introducing Our Next-door Neighbors_

One morning Silvia and I lingered over our coffee cups discussing ourplans for the coming summer, which included visits from my sister Bethand my college chum, Rob Rossiter. We wished to avoid having theirarrivals occur simultaneously, however, because Rob was a woman-hater, or thought he was. We decided to have Beth pay her visit first andlater take Rob with us on our vacation trip to some place where thefishing facilities would be to our liking. However, summer vacationtime like our plans was yet far, vague and dim. 

[Illustration: Uncle Issachar]

While I was putting on my overcoat, Silvia had gone to the window andwas looking pensively at the vacant house next to ours. 

"I fear, " she said abruptly and irrelevantly, "that we are destinedto receive no part of Uncle Issachar's fortune. "

Uncle Issachar was a wealthy but eccentric relative of my wife. He hadmade us no wedding gift beyond his best wishes, but he had theninformed us that at the birth of each of our prospective sons heshould place in the bank to Silvia's account the sum of five thousanddollars. We had never invited him to visit us or made any overtures inthe way of communication with him, lest he should think we werecultivating his acquaintance from mercenary motives. 

While I was debating whether the lament in Silvia's tone was for theloss of the money or the lack of children, she again spoke; this timein a tone which had lost its languor. 

"There is a big moving van in front of the house next door. At last wewill have some near neighbors. "

"Are they unloading furniture?" I asked inanely, crossing to thewindow. 

"No; course not, " came cheerfully from Huldah, who had come in toremove the dishes. "Most likely they are unloading lions and tigers. "

As I have already intimated, Huldah was a privileged servant. 

"They are unloading children!" explained Silvia, in a tone implyingthat Huldah's sarcastic implication would be infinitely morepreferable. "The van seems to be overflowing with them--a perfectcrowd. Do you suppose the house is to be used as an orphan asylum?"

"I think not, " I assured her as I counted the flock. Five childrenwould seem like a crowd to Silvia. 

"Boys!" exclaimed Huldah tragically, as she joined us for a survey. "I'll see that they don't keep the grass off our lawn. "

Late that afternoon I opened the outer door of the dining-room inresponse to the rap of strenuously applied knuckles. 

A lad of about eleven years with the sardonic face of a satyr anddiabolically bright eyes peered into the room. 

"We're going to have soup for dinner, " he announced, "and mother wantsto borrow a soup plate for father to eat his out of. "

Silvia stared at him aghast. She seemed to feel something compellingin the boy's personnel, however, and she went to the china closet andbrought forth a soup plate which she handed to him without comment. 

In silence we watched him run across the lawn, twirling the platedeftly above his head in juggler fashion. 

The next day when we sat down to dinner our new young neighbor againappeared on our threshold. 

"Halloa!" he called chummily. "We are going to have soup again and wewant a soup plate for father. "

"Where is the one I loaned you yesterday?" demanded Silvia in a tonefar below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, while her features assumed afrigidity that would have congealed father's favorite sustenance hadit been in her vicinity. 

"Oh, we broke that!" he casually and cheerfully explained. 

With much reluctance Silvia bestowed another plate upon the youngapplicant. 

"Wait!" I said as he started to leave, "don't you want the souptureen, too, or the ladle and some soup spoons?"

"No, thank you, " he answered politely. "None of the rest of us likesoup, so we dish father's up in the kitchen. He doesn't like soupparticularly, but he eats it because it goes down quick and lets himhave more time for work. "

This time as he sped homeward, he didn't spin the plate in air, buttried out a new plan of balancing it on a stick. 

"I think, " I suggested gently, when our young neighbor was lost to oursorrowful sight, "that it might be well to invest in another dozen orso of soup plates. I will see about getting them at wholesale rates. Our supply will soon give out if our new neighbors continue tocultivate the soup and borrowing habit. "

"I will buy some at the five cent store, " replied Silvia. "I think Ihad better call upon them tomorrow and see what manner of people theycan be. "

When I came home the next day it was quite evident that she hadcalled. 

"Well, " I inquired, "what do they keep--a soup house?"

"They are literary people, the highest of high-brows. Their name isPolydore, and the head of the house----"

"Mr. Or Mrs. ?" I interrupted. 

"The head of the house, " pursued Silvia, ignoring my question, "is acollector. "

"So I inferred. Has he a large collection of soup plates?"

"She collects antiquities and writes their history. He pursuesscience. "

"They were seemingly communicative. What did they look like?"

"I didn't see them. After I rang I heard a woman's voice bidding someone not to answer the bell. She said she couldn't be bothered withinterruptions, so I went on up the street to call on Mrs. Fleming, whotold me all about them. She was also refused admittance when shecalled. On my way home I met that boy--that awful boy----"

She paused, evidently overcome by the consideration of his awfulness. 

"He had been digging bait--"

Again she paused as if words were inadequate for her climax. 

"Well, " I encouraged. 

"He was carrying his bait--horrid, wriggling angleworms--in our soupplate!"

"Then it is not broken yet!" I exclaimed joyfully. "Let us hope it isgiven an antiseptic bath before father's next indulgence in consommé. After dinner I will go over and try my luck at paying my respects tothe soup savant. "

"They won't let you in. "

"In that case I shall follow their lead of setting aside all ceremonyand formality and admit myself, as their heir apparent does here. "

After dinner and my twilight smoke, I went next door, first askingSilvia if there was anything we needed that I could borrow, just toshow them there were no hard feelings. 

My third vigorous ring brought results. A slipshod servant appearedand reluctantly seated me in the hall. She read with seeming interestthe card I handed to her and then, pushing aside some mangy lookingportières, vanished from view. 

She evidently delivered my card, for I heard a woman's voice read myname, "Mr. Lucien Wade. "

After another short interval the slovenly servant returned and offeredme my card. 

"She seen it, " she assured me in answer to my look of surprise. 

She again put the portières between us and I was obliged to own myselfbaffled in my efforts to break in. I was showing myself out when myonward course was deflected by a troop of noisy children leaded bythe soup plate skirmisher, who was the oldest and apparently theleader of the brood. 

"Oh, halloa!" he greeted me with the air of an old acquaintance, "didn't you see the folks?"

On my informing him that I had seen no one but the servant, heexclaimed:

"Oh, that chicken wouldn't know enough to ask you in! Just follow us. Mother wouldn't remember to come out. "

I was loth to force my presence on mother, but by this time myhospitable young friend had pulled the portières so strenuously thatthey parted from the pole, and I was presented willy nilly to thecollector of antiquities, who had the angular sharp-cut face and formof a rocking horse. She was seated at a table strewn with books andpapers, writing at a rate of speed that convinced me she was in thethroes of an inspiration. I forebore to interrupt. My scruples, however, were not shared by her eldest son. He gave her elbow a jog ofreminder which sent her pencil to the floor. 

"Mother!" he shouted in megaphone voice, "here's the man nextdoor--the one we get our soup plates from. "

She looked up abstractedly. 

"Oh, " she said in dismayed tone, "I thought you had gone. I am verymuch engaged in writing a paper on modern antiquities. "

I murmured some sort of an apology for my untimely interruption. 

"I am so absorbed in my great work, " she explained, "that I amoblivious to all else. I have the rare and great gift of concentrationin a marked degree. "

I was quite sure of this fact. She took another pencil from a supplybox and resumed her literary occupation. As my presence seemed of solittle moment, I lingered. 

"Mother, " shouted one of the boys, snatching the pencil from hergrasp, "I'm hungry. I didn't have any supper. "

"Yes, you did!" she asserted. "I saw Gladys give you a bowl of breadand milk. "

"Emerald took it away from me and drank it up. "

"Didn't neither!" denied a shaggy looking boy. "I spilled it. "

He accompanied this denial by a fierce punch in his accuser's ribs. 

"Here!" said the author of Modern Antiquities, taking a nickel fromher pocket, "go get yourself some popcorn, Demetrius. "

"I ain't Demetrius! I'm Pythagoras. "

"It makes no difference. Go and get it and don't speak to me againtonight. "

The boy had already snatched the coin, and he now started for theexit, but his outgoing way was instantly blocked by a promiscuous packof pugilistic Polydores, and an ardent and general onslaughtfollowed. 

I endeavored to untangle the arms and legs of the attackers and theattacked in a desire to rescue the youngest, a child of two, but Isoon beat a retreat, having no mind to become a punching bag forPolydores. 

The concentrator at the writing table, looking up vaguely, perceivedthe general joust. 

"How provoking!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I was in search of anantonym and now they've driven it out of my memory. "

I politely offered my sympathy for her loss. 

"Did you ever see such misbehaved children?" she asked casually andimpersonally as she calmly surveyed the free-for-all fight. 

[Illustration: Dr. Felix Polydore]

"Children always misbehave before company, " I remarked propitiatingly. "Of course they know better. "

"Why no, they don't!" she declared, looking at me in surprise, "they----"

At this instant the errant antonym evidently flashed upon her mentalvision and her pencil hastened to record it and then flew on atlightning speed. 

I was about to try to make an escape when a momentary cessation ofhostilities was caused by the entrance of a moth-eaten, abstracted-lookingman. As the _two-year-old_ hailed him as "fadder", I gathered that hewas the person responsible for the family now fighting at his feet. 

"What's the trouble?" he asked helplessly. 

"She gave Thag a nickel, " explained the eldest boy, "and we want it. "

The man drew a sigh of relief. The solution of this family problem wasinstantly and satisfactorily met by an impartial distribution ofnickels. 

With demoniac whoops of delight, the contestants fled from the room. 

I introduced myself to the man of the house, who seemed to realizethat some sort of compulsory conventionalities must be observed. Helooked hopelessly at his wife, and seeing that she was beyond responseto an S O S call to things mundane, he frankly but impressivelyinformed me that I must expect nothing of them socially as their liveswere devoted to research and study. The children, however, he assuredme, could run over frequently to see us. 

I instinctively felt that my call was considered ended, so I took mydeparture. I related the details of my neighborly visit to Silvia, buther sense of humor was not stirred. It was entirely dominated by herdread of the young Polydores. 

"How many children are there?" she asked faintly. "More than the fiveyou said you counted that first day?"

"They seemed not so many as much. That is, though I suppose in roundnumbers there are but five, yet each of those five is equal to atleast three ordinary children. "

"Are they all boys? Huldah says the youngest wears dresses. "

"Nevertheless he is a boy. They are all unmistakably boys. I thinkthey must have been born with boots on and, " conscious of the imprintsof my shins, "hobnail boots at that. Even the youngest, a two-yearold, seems to have been graduated from Home Rule. "

"I can't bear to think of their going to bed hungry, " she saidwistfully. "Think of that unnatural mother expecting them to satisfytheir hunger by popcorn. "

"They didn't though, " I assured her. "I saw them stop a street venderbelow here and invest their nickels in hot dogs. "

"Hot dogs!" repeated Silvia in horror. 

"Wienerwursts, " I hastened to interpret. 

CHAPTER III

_In Which We Are Pestered by Polydores_

Our life now became one long round of Polydores. They were with usburr-tight, and attached themselves to me with dog-like devotion, remaining utterly impervious to Silvia's aloofness and repulses. Atlast, however, she succumbed to their presence as one of the thingsinevitable. 

"The Polydores are here to stay, " she acknowledged in acalmness-of-despair voice. 

"They don't seem to be homebodies, " I allowed. 

The children were not literary like the other productions of theirprofound parents, but were a band of robust, active youngstersunburdened with brains, excepting Ptolemy of soup plate fame. Not thathe betrayed any tendencies toward a learned line, but he was possessedof an occult, uncanny, wizard-like wisdom that was disconcerting. Hiscontemplative eyes seemed to search my soul and read my inmostthoughts. 

Pythagoras, Emerald, and Demetrius, aged respectively nine, eight, andseven, were very much alike in looks and size, being so many pinchedcaricatures of their mother. To Silvia they were bewilderingwhirlwinds, but Huldah, who seemed to have difficulty in telling themapart, always classified them as "Them three", and Silvia and I fellinto the habit of referring to them in the same way. Huldah could notmaster the Polydore given names either by memory or pronunciation. Ptolemy, whose name was shortened to "Tolly" by Diogenes, she called"Polly. " When she was on speaking terms with "Them three" shenicknamed them "Thaggy, Emmy, and Meetie. "

Diogenes, the two-year old, was a Tartar when emulating his brothers. Alone, he was sometimes normal and a shade more like ordinarychildren. 

When they first began swarming in upon us, Silvia drew many lineswhich, however, the Polydores promptly effaced. 

"They shall not eat here, anyway, " she emphatically declared. 

This was her last stand and she went down ingloriously. 

One day while we were seated at the table enjoying some of Huldah'smost palatable dishes, Ptolemy came in. There ensued on our part asilence which the lad made no effort to break. Silvia and I eachslipped him a side glance. He stood statuesque, watching us with themute wistfulness of a hungry animal. There were unwonted small redspecks high upon his cheekbones, symptoms, Silvia thought, ofstarvation. 

She was moved to ask, though reluctantly and perfunctorily:

"Haven't you been to dinner, Ptolemy?"

"Yes, " he admitted quickly, "but I could eat another. "

Assuming that the forced inquiry was an invitation, before protestcould be entered he supplied himself with a plate and helpedhimself to food. His need and relish of the meal weakened Silvia'sfortifications. 

This opening, of course, was the wedge that let in other Polydores, and thereafter we seldom sat down to a meal without the presence ofone or more members of the illustrious and famished family, who madethemselves as entirely at home as would a troop of foraging soldiers. Silvia gazed upon their devouring of food with the same surprised, shocked, and yet interested manner in which one watches the feeding ofanimals. 

"I suppose he ought not to eat so many pickles, " she remarked one day, as Emerald consumed his ninth Dill. 

"You can't kill a Polydore, " I assured her. 

I never opened a door but more or less Polydores fell in. They were atthe left of us and at the right of us, with Diogenes always underfoot. We had no privacy. I found myself waking suddenly in the nightwith the uncomfortable feeling that Ptolemy lurked in a dark corner ortwo of my bedroom. 

Even Silvia's boudoir was not free from their invasion. But one doorin our house remained closed to them. They found no open sesame toHuldah's apartment. 

"I wish she would let me in on her system, " I said. "I wonder how shemanages to keep them on the outside?"

"I can tell you, " confided Silvia. "Emerald and Demetrius went in oneday and she dropped Demetrius out the window and kicked Emerald outthe door. You know, Lucien, you are too softhearted to resort to suchmeasures. "

"I was once, " I confessed, "but I think under Polydore régime I amgetting stoical enough to follow in Huldah's footsteps and go her onebetter. "

Our conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Diogenes. 

Silvia screamed. 

Turning to see what the latest Polydore perpetration might be, I sawthat Diogenes was frothing at the mouth. 

"Oh, he's having a fit!" exclaimed Silvia frantically. "Call Huldah!Put him in a hot bath. Quick, Lucien, turn on the hot water. "

"Not I, " I refused grimly. "Let him have a fit and fall in it. "

"He ain't got no fit, " was the cheerful assurance of Pythagoras, as hesauntered in. 

"Your mother would have one, " I told him, "if she could hear yourEnglish. "

"What is the matter with him?" asked Silvia. "Does he often foam inthis way?"

"He's been eating your tooth powder, " explained Pythagoras. "He likesit 'cause it tastes like peppermint, and then he drank some waterbefore he swallowed the powder and it all fizzed up and run out hismouth. "

"I wondered, " said Silvia ruefully, "what made my tooth powderdisappear so rapidly. What shall I do!"

"Resort to strategy!" I advised. "Lock up your powder hereafter andfill an empty bottle with powdered alum or something worse and leaveit around handy. "

"Lucien!" exclaimed my wife, who could not seem to recover from thislatest annoyance, "I don't see how you can be so fond of children. Idid hope--for your sake and--on account of Uncle Issachar's offer thatI'd like to have one--but I'd rather go to the poorhouse! I'd almostlose your affection rather than have a child. "

"But, Silvia!" I remonstrated in dismay, "you shouldn't judge all bythese. They're not fair samples. They're not children--not home-grownchildren. "

"I should say not!" agreed Huldah, who had come into the room. "Theyare imps--imps of the devil. "

I believe she was right. They had a generally demoralizing effect onour household. I was growing irritable, Silvia careworn. Even Huldahshowed their influence by acquiring the very latest in slang fromthem. Once in a while to my amusement I heard Silvia unconsciouslyadopting the Polydore argot. 

As the result of their better nourishment at our table, the imps ofthe devil daily grew more obstreperous and life became so burdensometo Silvia that I proposed moving away to a childless neighborhood. 

"They'd find us out, " said Silvia wearily, "wherever we went. Distancewould be no obstacle to them. "

"Then we might move out of town, as a last resort, " I suggested. "Robsays he thinks there is a good legal field in----"

"No, Lucien, " vetoed Silvia. "You've a fine practice here, and thenthere's that attorneyship for the Bartwell Manufacturing Company. "

My hope of securing this appointment meant a good deal to us. We werenow living up to every cent of my income and though we had thenecessities, it was the luxuries of life I craved--for Silvia's sake. She was a lover of music and we had no piano. She yearned to ride andshe had no horse. We both had longings for a touring-car and we wantedto travel. 

"I've thought of a scheme for a little respite from the sight andsound of the Polydores, " I remarked one day. "We'll enter them in thepublic school. There are four more weeks yet before the long summervacation. "

"That would be too good to be true, " declared Silvia. "Five or sixhours each day, and then, too, their deportment will be so dreadfulthat they will have to stay after school hours. "

I thought more likely their deportment would lead to suspension, butforbore to wet-blanket Silvia's hopes. 

I made my second call upon the male head of the House of Polydore torecommend and urge that its young scions be sent to the public school. I had misgivings as to the outcome of my proposition, as the Polydoreparents believed themselves to be the only fount of learning in thetown. To my surprise and intense gratification, my suggestion met withno objections whatever. Felix Polydore referred me to his wife andsaid he would abide by her decision. I found her, of course, buried inbooks, but remembering Ptolemy's mode of gaining attention, Iperemptorily closed the volume she was studying. 

My audacity attained its object and I proferred my request, layinggreat stress on the quietude she would gain thereby. She replied thatattendance at school would doubtless do them no harm, although sheexpressed her belief that the most thorough educations were thoseobtained outside of schools. 

Silvia was wafted into the eighth heaven of bliss and then some, asthe result of my diplomatic mission. Of course the task of preparingpupils out of the pestiferous Polydores devolved upon her, but she wasactively aided by the eager and willing Huldah and between them theypushed the project that promised such an elysium with all speed. Theprospective pupils themselves were not wildly enthusiastic over thiscurtailment of their liberty, but Huldah won the day by proposing thatthey carry their luncheon with them, promising an abundant supply ofsugared doughnuts and small pies. 

Pythagoras foresaw recreation ahead in the opportunity to "lick allthe kids, " and I assumed that Ptolemy had deep laid schemes for theoutmaneuvering of teachers, but as his left hand never made confidantof his right, I could not expect to fathom the workings of his mind. 

Early on a Monday morning, therefore, our household arose to lick ourPolydore protégés into a shape presentable for admission to school. It took two hours to pull up stockings and make them stay pulled, tie shoestrings, comb out tangles, adjust collars and neckties, tosay nothing of vigorous scrubbings to five grimy faces and tendirt-stained hands. 

At last with an air of achievement Silvia corralled her round-up andunloaded the four eldest upon the public school and then proceeded toinstall the protesting Diogenes in a nursery kindergarten. Huldahstood in the doorway as they marched off and sped the parting guestswith a muttered "Good riddance to bad rubbish. "

Silvia returned radiant, but her rejoicing was shortlived. She hadscarcely taken off her hat and gloves when the four oldest cametrooping and whooping into the house. 

"What's the matter?" gasped Silvia. 

"Got to be vaccinated, " explained Ptolemy with an appreciativegrin. Of all the Polydores he was the one who had least objectedto scholastic pursuits, but he seemed quite jubilant at ourdiscomfiture. 

We were somewhat reluctant to undertake the responsibility of theirinoculation, especially after Ptolemy told us that his mother didn'tbelieve in vaccination. 

"I'll take 'em down and get 'em vaccinated right, " declared Huldah. "Their ma won't never notice the scars, and if one of you young unsblabs about it, " she added, turning upon them ferociously, "I'll cutyour tongue out. "

"Suppose there should be some ill result from it, " said Silviaapprehensively. 

"Don't you worry!" exclaimed Huldah. "Most likely it won't amount toanything. It'll take some new kind of scabs to work in these brats. They're too tough to take anything. Come on now with me, " shecommanded, "and after it's done, I'll get you each an ice creamsody. "

Through Huldah's efficiency the vaccination was quickly accomplishedand the children of our neighbor were reluctantly accepted by theschool authorities. 

The Polydores were not parted by reason of dissimilarity of age orlearning, as they were put into the ungraded room. To keep them thereenrolled taxed to the utmost our ingenuity in the way of framingexcuses for their repeated cases of tardiness and suspension. 

Silvia felt a little remorseful when she listened to the tale of woerecited to her by their teacher at a card party one Saturdayafternoon. 

"She said, " my wife repeated, "that yesterday Pythagoras brought twomice to school in his marble-bag and let them loose. She doesn'tbelieve in corporal punishment, but she determined to experiment withits effect on Pythagoras, so she kept him and Emerald, who wasslightly implicated, after school and sent the latter out to get awhip. When he came back he said: 'I couldn't find any stick, buthere's some rocks you can throw at him, ' and handed her a hat full ofstones. This made her too hysterical to try her experiment, so shetook away his recess for a week. "

"We ought to make her a present, " I observed. 

"She said, " continued Silvia, "that they had given her nervousprostration, but she had no time to prostrate, and if she didn'tsucceed in getting them graded by the coming fall term, she shouldaccept an offer of marriage she had received from a cross-eyed man, and you know how unlucky that would be, Lucien!"

"We may be driven to worse things than that by fall, " I repliedruefully. 

CHAPTER IV

_In Which We Take Boarders_

Four weeks of unalloyed bliss and then the summer vacation timesarrived, bringing joy to the heart of the Polydores and the teacher ofthe ungraded room, but deep gloom to the hearthside of the Wades. 

One misfortune always brings another. A rival applicant receivedthe coveted attorneyship and we bade a sad farewell to piano, saddle-horse, automobile and journey, the furnishings to our LittleHouse of Dreams. 

"I did want you to have a car, Lucien, " sighed Silvia, regretfully, "and you worked so hard this last year, you need a trip. Won't you gosomewhere with Rob--without me?"

I assured her it would be no vacation without her. 

"Do you know, Lucien, " she proposed diffidently, "I think it would bean excellent plan to invite Uncle Issachar to visit us. He knows nomore about children than I do--than I did, I mean, and if he shouldsee the Polydores he'd give us five thousand each for the children wedidn't have. "

I wouldn't consent to this plan. I had met Uncle Issachar once. He wasa crusty old bachelor with a morbid suspicion that everyone wasworking him for his money. I don't wonder he thought so. He had noother attractions. 

Perceiving the strength of my opposition Silvia sweetly andsagaciously refrained from further pressure. 

"We should not repine, " she said. "We have health and happiness andlove. What are pianos and cars and trips compared to such assets?"

What, indeed! I admitted that things might be worse. 

Alas! All too soon was my statement substantiated. That night after wehad gone to bed, I heard a taxicab sputtering away at the house nextdoor. 

"The Polydores must have unexpected guests, " I remarked. 

"I trust they brought no children with them, " murmured Silviadrowsily. 

The next morning while we were at breakfast, the odor of June roseswafting in through the open window, the delicious flavor of red-ripestrawberries tickling our palate, and the anticipation of ricegriddle-cakes exhilarating us, the millennium came. 

For the five young Polydores bore down upon us _en masse_. 

"Father and mother have gone away, " proclaimed Ptolemy, who was alwaysspokesman for the quintette. 

This intelligence was of no particular interest to us--not then, atleast. We rarely saw father and mother Polydore, and they wereapparently of no need to their offspring. 

Ptolemy's next announcement, however, was startling and effective inits dramatic intensity. 

"We've come over to stay with you while they are away. "

I laughed; jocosely, I thought. 

Silvia paid no heed to my forced hilarity, but ejaculated gaspingly:

"Why, what do you mean!"

"They have gone away somewhere, " enlightened our oracle. "They went tothe train last night in a taxi. They have gone somewhere to find outsomething about some kind of aborigines. "

"Which reminds me, " I remarked reminiscently, "of the man who traveledfar and vainly in search of a certain plant which, on his return, hefound growing beside his own doorstep. "

Silvia paid no heed to my misplaced pleasantry. She was right--asusual. It was no time for levity. 

"I don't see, " spoke my unappreciative wife, addressing Ptolemy, "whytheir absence should make any difference in your remaining at home. Gladys can cook your meals and put Diogenes to bed as usual. "

"Gladys has gone, " piped Demetrius. "She left yesterday afternoon. Shewas only staying till she could get her pay. "

"Father forgot to get another girl in her place, " informed Ptolemy, "and he forgot to tell mother he had forgotten until just before theywent to the train. She said it didn't matter--that we could just aswell come over here and stay with you. "

"She said, " added Pythagoras, "that you were so crazy over children, that probably you'd be glad to have us stay with you all the time. "

My last strawberry remained poised in mid-air. It was quite apparentto me now that there was nothing funny about this situation. 

"Milk, milk!" whimpered Diogenes, pulling at Silvia's dress and makingfrantic efforts to reach the cream pitcher. 

Huldah had come in with the griddle-cakes during this avalanche ofnews. 

"Here, all you kids!" commanded our field marshal, as she picked upDiogenes, "beat it to the kitchen, and I'll give you some breakfast. Hustle up!"

The Polydores, whose eyes were bulging with expectancy andsemi-starvation, tumbled over each other in their eagerness to "hustleup and beat it to the kitchen. " Our oiler of troubled waters followed, and there was assurance of a brief lull. 

"What shall we do!" I exclaimed helplessly when the door had closed onthe last Polydore. I felt too limp and impotent to cope with thesituation. Not so Silvia. 

"Do!" she echoed with an intensity of tone and feeling I had neverknown her to display. "Do! We'll do something, I am sure! I will notfor a moment submit to such an imposition. Who ever heard of suchcolossal nerve! That father and mother should be brought back andprosecuted. I shall report them to the Society for the Prevention ofCruelty to Children. But we won't wait for such procedure. We'llexpress each and every Polydore to them at once. "

"I should certainly do that P. D. Q. And C. O. D. , " I acquiesced, "if thePolydore parents could be located, but you know the abodes ofaborigines are many and scattered. "

My remarks seemed to fall as flat as the flapjacks I was siruping. 

Silvia arose, determination in every lineament and muscle, and crossedthe room. She opened the door leading into the kitchen. 

"Ptolemy, " she demanded, "where have your father and mother gone?"

He came forward and replied in a voice somewhat smothered by cakes andsirup. 

"I don't know. They didn't say. "

"We can find out from the ticket-agent, " I optimistically assuredher. 

"They never bother to buy tickets. Pay on the train, " Ptolemyexplained. 

My legal habit of counter-argument asserted itself. 

"We can easily ascertain to what point their baggage was checked, " Iremarked, again essaying to maintain a rôle of good cheer. 

But the pessimistic Ptolemy was right there with another of hisgloom-casting retaliations. 

"They only took suit-cases and they always keep them in the car. Here's a check father said to give you to pay for our board. He saidyou could write in any amount you wanted to. "

"He got a lot of dough yesterday, " informed Pythagoras, "and he puthalf of it in the bank here. "

Ptolemy handed over a check which was blank except for FelixPolydore's signature. 

"I don't see, " I weakly exclaimed when my wife had closed the kitchendoor, "why she put them off on _us_. Why didn't she trade her bratsoff for antiques?"

Silvia eyed the check wistfully. I could read the unspoken thoughtthat here, perhaps, was the opportunity for our much-desired trip. 

"No, Silvia, " I answered quickly, "not for any number of blank checksor vacation trips shall you have the care and annoyance of those wildComanches. "

"I know what I'll do!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I'll go right down tothe intelligence office and get anything in the shape of a maid andput her in charge of the Polydore caravansary with double wages andevery night out and any other privileges she requests. "

This seemed a sane and sensible arrangement, and I wended my way tomy office feeling that we were out of the woods. 

When I returned home at noon, I found that we had only exchanged thewoods for water--and deep water at that. 

I beheld a strange sight. Silvia sat by our bedroom window twitteringsoft, cooing nonsensical nothings to Diogenes, who was clasped in herarms, his flushed little face pressed close to her shoulder. 

"He's been quite ill, Lucien. I was frightened and called the doctor. He said it was only the slight fever that children are subject to. Hethought with good care that he'd be all right in a few days. "

"Did you succeed in getting a cook to go to the Polydores?" I askedanxiously. "You'll need a nurse to go there, too, to take care ofDiogenes. "

She looked at me reproachfully and rebukingly. 

"Why, Lucien! You don't suppose I could send this sick baby back tothat uninviting house with only hired help in charge! Besides, I don'tbelieve he'd stay with a stranger. He seems to have taken a fancy tome. "

Diogenes confirmed this belief by a languid lifting of his eyelids, ashe feelingly patted her cheek with his baby fingers. 

I forebore to suggest that the fancy seemed to be mutual. Diogenes, sick, was no longer an "imp of the devil", but a normal, appealinglittle child. It occurred to me that possibly the care of a sickPolydore might develop Silvia's tiny germ of child-ken. 

"Keep him here of course, " I agreed, "but--the other children mustreturn home. "

"Diogenes would miss them, " she said quickly, "and the doctor says hiswhims must be humored while he is sick. He is almost asleep now. Ithink he will let me put him down in his own little bed. Ptolemybrought it over here. Pull back the covers for me, Lucien. There!"

Diogenes half opened his eyes, as she laid him in the bed and smiledwanly. 

"Mudder!" he cooed. 

Silvia flushed and looked as if she dreaded some expression of mirthfrom me. Relieved by my silence and a suggestion of moisture in theregion of my eyes--the day was quite warm--she confessed:

"He has called me that all the morning. "

"It would be a wise Polydore that knows its own parents, " I observed. 

The slight illness of Diogenes lasted three or four days. I stillshudder to recall the memory of that hideous period. Silvia's time andattention were devoted to the sick child. Huldah was putting in allher leisure moments at the dentist's, where she was acquiring herthird set of teeth, and joy rode unconfined and unrestrained with our"boarders. "

Polydore proclivities made the Reign of Terror formerly known as theFrench Revolution seem like an ice cream festival. I don't regardmyself as a particularly nervous man, but there's a limit! Their warwhoops and screeches got on my nerves and temper to the extent ofsending me into their midst one evening brandishing a whip andcommanding immediate silence. I got it. Not through fear ofchastisement, for fear was an emotion unknown to a Polydore, but fromastonishment at so unexpected a procedure from so unexpected a source. Heretofore I had either ignored them or frolicked with them. Beforethey had recovered from their shock, Silvia appeared on the scene. 

"Diogenes, " she informed them, "was not used to such unwonted quiet, and was fretting at the unaccustomed stillness. Would the boys pleaseplay Indian or some of their games again?"

The boys would. I backed from the room, the whip behind me, carefullykept without Silvia's angle of vision. Before Ptolemy resumed his rôleof chief, he bestowed a knowing and maddening wink upon me. 

I wished that we had remained neighbor-less. I wished that theaborigines would scalp Felix Polydore and the writer of ModernAntiquities. Then we could land their brats on the Probate Court. Iwished that this were the reign of Herod. I vowed I would backslidefrom the Presbyterian faith since it no longer included in itsarticles of belief the eternal damnation of infants. How long, OCatiline, would--

A paralyzing suspicion flashed into the maelstrom of my vituperativemaledictions. I rushed wildly upstairs to our combination bedroom, sickroom, and nursery, where Silvia sat like a guardian angel besidethe Polydore patient. 

"Silvia, " I shouted excitedly, "do you suppose those diabolicalPolydore parents purposely played this trick on us? Was it apremeditated Polydore plan to abandon their young? And can you blamethem for playing us for easy marks? Could any parents, Polydore, orotherwise, ever come back to such fiends as these?"

"Hush!" she cautioned, without so much as a glance in my direction. "You'll wake Diogenes!"

Wake Diogenes! Ye Gods! And she had also implored the brothers ofDiogenes to continue their anvil chorus! This took the last stitch ofstarch from my manly bosom. Spiritless and spineless I bore allthings, believed all things--but hoped for nothing. 

CHAPTER V

_In Which We Take a Vacation_

Diogenes finally convalesced to his former state of ruggedness andobstreperousness. He continued, however, to cling to Silvia and tocall her "mudder. " To my amusement the other children followed suitand she was now "muddered" by all the Polydores. 

"I am glad, " I remarked, "that they scorn to include me in theiradoption. I wouldn't fancy being 'faddered' by the Polydores. "

"You won't be, " Ptolemy, appearing seemingly from nowhere, assured me. "We've named you stepdaddy. "

"If it be possible, Silvia, " I implored, "let this cup pass from me. "

"I am going down to the intelligence office today, " replied Silviasoothingly. "Diogenes is well enough to go home now, and I can runover there every evening and see that he is properly put to bed. "

I went down town feeling like a mule relieved of his pack. 

When I came home that afternoon, I found Silvia sitting on the shadedporch serenely sewing. A Sabbath-like stillness pervaded. Not aPolydore in sight or sound. 

"Oh!" I cried buoyantly. "The Polydores have been returned to theirhome station!"

"No, " she replied calmly. "They told me at the intelligence officethat it would be absolutely impossible to persuade, bribe, or hire aservant to assume the charge of the Polydore place. "

"I suppose, " I said glumly, "that Gladys gave the job a double cross. But will you please account for the phenomenon of the utter absence ofPolydores at the present period? Has Huldah at last carried out heroft-repeated threat of exterminating the Polydore race?"

"Pythagoras, " explained Silvia dejectedly, "has gone to the doctor's. He broke his wrist this morning. Diogenes is lost and Emerald has goneto look for him--"

"Oh, why hunt him up?" I remonstrated. "Maybe Emerald, too, will getlost or strayed or stolen. "

"Huldah, " continued Silvia, "has locked Demetrius in the cellar. I amunable to report on Ptolemy. Huldah is half sick, but she won't go tobed. She said no beds in Bedlamite for her. But I have a wonderfulplan to suggest. There is relief in sight if you will consent. "

"I will consent to any committable crime on the calendar, " I assuredher, "that will lead to the parting of the Polydore path from ours. Divulge. "

"We both need a change and rest. Today I heard of a most alluring, inexpensive, unfrequented resort called Hope Haven. Unfashionable, fine fishing, beautiful scenery, twelve miles from a railroad, and astage stops there but once a day. "

"If there is such a place, we'll go there at once, though why such anenticing spot should be unfrequented is beyond me. Do we leave thePolydores to their fate, or as a town charge?"

"We'll leave them to Huldah. She offered to keep them here if we'dtake the outing. She said she'd either give them free rein or beattheir brains out. "

"Then I see where the Polydores land in a juvenile jail, or else Ireturn to defend Huldah for a charge of murder. We'll take ourdeparture by night--tomorrow night--and like the Arabs, or thePolydore parents, silently steal away. "

"Lucien, " said Silvia constrainedly, when we had arranged the detailsof our plan, "if you wouldn't object too much, I should like to takeDiogenes with us. He hasn't missed his mother, but I really believehe'd be homesick without me. "

"Take him, of course, " I said. "He's manageable away from the others. I plainly see you've formed the Polydore habit, and maybe a partialparting from the Polydores would be wiser, but we'll take Diogenes asan antidote against too perfect a time. But I forgot to tell you thatI had a letter from Rob today. He plans to come and make his visitnow and will arrive next Monday. I'll write him to join us at HopeHaven. You must write down again for me the route we take to getthere. "

Silvia laughed hopelessly. 

"It never rains but it pours. I had a letter from Beth this afternoon, and she says she would like to come to us now. She arrives Monday. Here is her letter. "

"Great minds! It is quite a coincidence, " I declared. 

"I thought it would be so nice to have Beth go with us to thisresort. "

"It can't be done, " I said. "That is, they can't both go. I am notgoing to let even Rob Rossiter slight my sister. "

"Still it would be a triumph to have her change his mind--or hisheart. You know a woman-hater always succumbs to the right girl. "

"In books, yes!"

I had been scanning Beth's letter and I laughed derisively as I readaloud: "'I am so curious to see those next-door children. When youfirst wrote of the "Polydores" I never once thought of them aschildren. '"

"She thought exactly right, " I told Silvia, and then continuedreading: "'I supposed them to be something like tadpoles or polliwogs. I really think I shall enjoy them. '"

"It would serve her right, " I said, "to let her come and stay withthem here in our absence. She'd get the cure for enjoyment all right. Rob wrote of them in the same strain and says he, too, is curious tomeet the missing links. "

"Does she know, " asked Silvia, "how Rob regards women?"

"No; I've always made some excuse to her for not having them meet. Ididn't want to hear her make disparaging remarks about him, and sheis such a flirt, she'd try to draw him out and he would shut up like aclam. "

"Well, I think, " decided Silvia, "that the best way out of it is towrite Rob to postpone his visit and I will write Beth to come directto Hope Haven. "

"Yes, " I agreed, "that will be fine. She shall have charge of dearlittle Di and study the evolutions of the Polydores later. "

I approved this plan. So we wrote our letters and stealthily, butjoyously, prepared for our getaway, leaving the house like thieves inthe night and bearing the sleeping cherub, Diogenes. 

Silvia sighed in relief when we were aboard the train. 

"I feel quite chesty, " she declared, "at being smart enough to outwitPtolemy, the wizard. "

"I have the feeling, " I observed forebodingly, "that they may be onthe train or underneath it. "

The next morning we reached Windy Creek, the station nearest ourdestination, and continued our journey by stage. 

"People will think you have consoled yourself very speedily for thedeath of your first husband, " I observed, as we were en route. 

"Why, what do you mean, Lucien?"

"You know Diogenes addresses me as stepdaddy. It is the only word hespeaks plainly. "

"Oh!" she exclaimed in perturbation, "I never thought of that! Well, we can explain to everyone, or I'll teach them to leave off the'step. '"

"Not on your life!" I demurred. 

"He had better call you Lucien, then. Emerald calls his father'Felix. '"

She at once began her tutelage of the bewildered Diogenes. Afterseveral stabs at pronouncing Lucien he managed to evolve "Ocean" towhich he sometimes affixed "step" so that people to whom he was notexplained doubtless thought me the latest thing in dances. 

Hope Haven was like most resorts--a place safe to shun. There was alow, flat stretch of woods in which a clearing had been made for abarn-like structure called a hotel, with rooms rough and not alwaysready. The beautiful recreation grounds mentioned in the advertisingmatter consisted of a plowed field worked over into a space designatedas a tennis court and a grass-grown croquet ground. 

"Anyway, " claimed Silvia hopefully, "it's a treat to see woods, water, and sky unconfined. "

She devoted the remainder of the morning to unpacking and afterluncheon set off to explore the woods, borrowing from the landlady alittle cart for Diogenes to ride in. My plan to go in swimming wasdelayed by my garrulous landlord. 

I was just starting for the lake when I heard sounds from the woodsthat alarmed the landlord but which I instantly recognized as thePolydore yell. A moment later I saw Silvia emerging at full speed intothe open, drawing the cart in which Diogenes was doubled up like ajackknife. I hastened to meet them. 

"Oh, Lucien, " exclaimed my wife tearfully, "we are bitten to bits!Just look at poor little Di!"

I lifted the howling child from the cart. His face, neck, and handswere stringy and purplish--a cross between an eggplant and a roundsteak. 

"Mosquitoes!" explained Silvia. "They came in flocks and theyadvertised particularly 'no mosquitoes. '"

A dour-faced guest paused in passing. 

"There aren't--many, " she declared. "Very few, in fact, compared tothe number of black flies, sand fleas, and jiggers. However, you'llfind more discomfort from the poison ivy, I imagine. "

"Lucien, " began Silvia in lament. 

"Never mind!" I hastened to console, "you are out of the woods now, and you won't have to go in again. I presume they have an antidote upat the house. I'll give you and Diogenes first aid and then we willall go down to the lake shore. You can both sit on the dock and watchme swim. "

They both brightened up, and when we reached the hotel the landladyprovided a soothing lotion for the bites and stings. 

By the time we had started for the lake, the afflicted two were inholiday spirit again. 

I sought cover in a small shed called a bath-house and got into myswimming outfit and shot out from the dipping end of the diving-boardinto the water. When I came to the surface, Silvia, sitting besideDiogenes on the dock, shrieked wildly. 

"Oh, Lucien, there are snakes all around you! Come out, quick!"

"They are only water snakes, " I assured her. 

"I don't care what kind they are. They are snakes just the same. "

Diogenes instantly began to bellow for me to hand him a snake to playwith. 

"He recognizes his own, " I told Silvia, who, however, saw nothingamusing in my implication. 

When I came out of the water, the temperature had climbed severaldegrees and we were glad to seek the hotel parlor, which was cool anddamp. 

After dinner Silvia put Diogenes to bed and we sat out on the veranda. I was enjoying my evening smoke and the feel of the night wind in myface. Silvia had just finished telling me that merely to be away fromthe Polydores was Paradise enough for her, and that she didn't carevery much about the woods, anyway--the lake was sufficient, when heroptimism was rudely jolted by the shrill, shudder-sending song of thefestive mosquito. 

She fled into the parlor. The landlady, who seemed to have a panaceafor all ills, suggested that she might tack mosquito netting aroundthe little balcony extending from our bedroom, and then she could sitthere in comfort when the mosquitoes bothered. 

"That's what the last lady that had that room did, " she said, "butwhen she left, she took the netting with her. We keep a supply in ourlittle store. "

Silvia immediately sought the hotel store and bought a quantity of thenetting and a goodly stock of the mosquito lotion. 

That night as I was drifting into slumber, Silvia remarked: "Only oneof the things I heard and read about this place is true. "

"Which one?" I asked between winks. 

"That it was unfrequented. I have seen only three guests besides us sofar. How do they make it pay?"

"The hotel is evidently only a side issue, " I replied. 

"To what?"

"To the store. Think of the quantities of lotion and netting they mustsell in the season, which, you must know, is in the fall. The hunting, the landlord tells me, is very good, and his hotel is quite popularin October and November. "

"I think we had better stay, Lucien. Mosquitoes don't poison you. "

"Even if they did, " I declared, "as a choice between them and thePolydores I would say, 'Oh, Mosquito, where is thy sting?'"

CHAPTER VI

_A Flirt and a Woman-Hater_

The next morning I arose early and screened in the little birdhousebalcony. There was a large piece of netting left and Silvia convertedit into a robe and headgear for the swaddling of Diogenes. 

"He looks like the Bride of Lammermoor, " I declared, as he went forthin this regalia. 

"Well, that's preferable to looking like a pest-house patient, as hedid yesterday. "

His first-aid costume didn't find favor with the landlady, as it wouldseem indicative to the newly arrived of the features of the place. However, before another stage-coming was due, Di had rent his garmentsufficiently to make it useless is a "skeeter skirt. "

During the morning I enjoyed my solitary swim with the snakes. Diogenes played football with the croquet balls and bruised one of histoes, besides hitting the landlady's child in the eye. Silvia went fora walk which had been pictured in the advertisements. She speedilyreturned, her ardor dampened. 

"There are so many sticks and stones and rocks, " she said in adiscouraged tone, "that there was no pleasure in walking. I nearlysprained my ankle. "

"Well, the real sport we haven't tried yet, " I said. "We'll get a boatand take Diogenes and go for a row on the lake. "

This proposition met with instant favor. I put Silvia and Diogenes inthe stern of the boat and pulled for the opposite shore. My endeavorsto gain this point were balked by Silvia's remarkable conceptions ofthe art of steering craft. She was so serenely satisfied, however, with the way she performed her duties and the aid she thought she wasgiving me, that I forbore to criticize. 

In order to achieve a few strokes in the right direction, I asked herto get me a cigar from an inside pocket of my coat, which was on theseat in front of her. Then came the blight to our bliss. She looked inthe wrong pocket and instead of producing a cigar, she extracted twoletters with seals unbroken. 

[Illustration: "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Bethand Rob. "]

"Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth and Rob. Well, it is my fault. I should have known better than to give them toyou. "

"The plot thickens, " I replied thoughtfully. 

"This is Monday. They must both be at the house now. What will theythink!"

"They will think we didn't receive their letters. "

"Isn't it unfortunate--" she began. 

"No, " I replied. "I am not sure but what it is a good thing. It willgive Rob a jolt to see that girls can be as nice as Beth is, and asfor her, she is quite able to take care of the situation where a manis concerned. "

"But we must have Beth here. Maybe you'd better telegraph her. "

"Huldah understands conditions. She will send Beth on here. "

The next morning we took Diogenes and went down the road to meet thestage. As it came around the curve, we saw there were threepassengers. 

"Tolly!" cried Diogenes with an ecstatic whoop. 

"Beth!" recognized Silvia. 

"Rob!" I ejaculated. 

The stage stopped to allow us to get in. 

Mutual explanations followed. Ours were brief and substantiated by thedocuments in evidence. 

"Now, " I said turning threateningly to Ptolemy, "what did you comehere for?"

"To show them, " indicating Beth and Rob, "how to get here and to lookafter Di so you and mudder could enjoy your vacation, " he repliedglibly. 

Beth laughed mirthfully. 

"Check! Lucien. "

"Didn't Huldah warn you, " I asked her, "that our whereabouts were toremain unknown?"

"Ptolemy, " she replied, "is evidently a mind reader, for he told mewhere you were before I saw Huldah. "

"Why, Ptolemy, how did you know where we were?" asked Silvia. 

"I was on top of the porch when you told stepdaddy about coming. Ididn't tell the others. I won't bother you any. And I know how to lookafter Di. You won't send me back, mudder, " he pleaded, lookingwistfully at the foam-crested water of the little lake. 

I wondered mutely if Silvia could resist the appeal in the eyes of theneglected boy when he turned his imploring gaze to hers, and thedelight depicted in Diogenes' eyes at "Tolly's" arrival. She couldnot. 

"You may stay as long as we do, " she said slowly, "if you are a goodboy and will not play too rough with Diogenes. "

We had reached the hotel by this time, and with a wild "ki yi"Ptolemy dashed for the shore, dragging the delighted Diogenes withhim. 

"It's only fair to Huldah to take one more off her hands, " Silvia saidapologetically. 

"Them Three is what bothers me, " I complained. "If they, too, followafter, Heaven help them! I won't. "

"It's a good arrangement all around, " declared Rob. "I judge it takesa Polydore to understand his ilk, so the kids can pair off together. Miss Wade will be company for you, while Lucien and I go fishing. "

He looked keenly at Beth as he spoke, but Beth was looking demurelydown and made no sign of having heard him. 

Silvia and I went with Beth to her room, and then she told her story. 

"Knowing Lucien's failing, I was not surprised at receiving noresponse to my letter. When I got out of the cab in front of yourhouse, a wild-looking boy, very bas-relief as to eyes, and who I feltsure must be Ptolemy of the Polydores, appeared. As soon as he saw mehe gave utterance to a blood-curdling yell of--'Here she is!'

"In response to his call three of his understudies came on withheadlong greeting. 

"'You are Beth, aren't you?' Ptolemy asked me. Then he drew me asideand in mysterious whispers told me where you were and that you hadwritten me to join you here. He added that stepdaddy never rememberedto mail letters. I went within and interviewed Huldah who confirmedhis information. 

"Presently I saw a taxi stop before the house. 

"'That's him!' exclaimed Ptolemy. 

"'Him who?' I asked. 

"'Rob somebody--stepdaddy's college chum. He wrote he was coming, andthey thought they had postponed him. '

"With a sprint of speed the four Polydores surrounded your Mr. Rossiter, all talking at once. I came to the rescue, of course, andexplained the situation, and we decided to follow you. 

"Ptolemy was promoter for the trip and suggested the advisability ofhis accompanying us as courier and future nursemaid to Diogenes. Hewas intending to come anyway, but thought he'd wait for us. He had allhis belongings packed. "

"He hasn't many except those he had on, " said Silvia thoughtfully. 

"He has some swimming trunks, two collars, two shirts, some mismatedsocks, homemade fishing tackle and a battered baseball bat. We cameaway surreptitiously to escape detection by the trio left behind. Iknew you wouldn't welcome his presence--but he said he was cominganyway, so we thought we might as well bring him and express himback. "

After visiting with Beth for a few moments, Silvia and I withdrew totalk matters over confidentially. 

"All's well that ends well, " I quoth. 

"It hasn't ended yet, " reminded Silvia. "I trust Ptolemy didn't revealwhat you said about Rob's being a woman-hater and Beth a flirt. "

Ptolemy conveniently appeared just then, as he generally did in themidst of private interviews. Silvia asked him if he had repeated thoseremarks to Beth or Rob. 

"Why, no, " he said. "I knew you didn't want her to know, becausestepdaddy said so, and I thought he wouldn't like to be called that, and I wasn't going to give Beth away to him. "

"You're all right, Ptolemy!" I exclaimed, for the first time awardinghim approbation. 

Out on the veranda we met Rob. 

"Say, those Polydores certainly have the punch and pep, " he declared. "I'd like to have fetched the whole bunch along with me. "

"If you had, " I replied dryly, "our life's friendship would have diedon the spot. "

CHAPTER VII

_In Which Nothing Much Happens_

"Why Hope Haven?" asked Rob reflectively, when he had taken inventoryof the possibilities of the resort. 

"Because, " sighed Silvia, "so many hopes--vacation hopes--must havebeen buried here. "

Rob was of an investigating turn of mind, however, and he had heardfrom a native of H. H. , as he had abbreviated the place, that therewas a smaller lake, abounding in fish, farther on through the forest. It was so strongly fortified, however, by the formidable battalions ofsharp-shooting insects that but few fishermen had ever been able tolay siege to it. 

Rob and I being poison proof decided to try our luck and pitch campfor a few days on the shores of this hidden treasure. As we had tosend to town by the stage driver for the necessary supplies, weremained in H. H. The remainder of the day. 

We at once paired off in Noah's most approved style as Rob hadoutlined. Beth and Ptolemy went up shore, sticks and stones and rocksbeing no obstacles to their feet. Rob and I sought the society of thesnakes, while Silvia and Diogenes, mosquito-netted, watched a game ofcroquet. 

We dined without the pleasure of the society of Ptolemy and Diogenes, who had been invited to sit at the table with the landlady'schildren. I might state, incidentally, that the invitation was neverrepeated. 

Beth was quite excited over her walk. 

"Ptolemy and I, " she boasted, "made more of a discovery than Mr. Rossiter did. We found a haunted house, a perfectly haunted house. "

"I am not surprised, " declared Silvia. "You couldn't expect any otherkind of a house in such a region. "

"Where is it?" I asked, "and what is it haunted by?"

"Insects, " suggested Silvia. 

"You go around shore about two miles, only it's farther, as you haveto make so many ups and downs over the rocks. Then you leave the shoreand go through a low marshy stretch, sort of a Dismal Swamp, and thenup a hill. After Ptolemy and I climbed to the top, we looked down andsaw, hidden in a clump of lonely looking poplars, a small, rudelybuilt house. We went down to explore and had hard work making our waythrough a thick growth of--everything. We crawled under some tangledvines and came up on the steps. The house was vacant, although therewere a few old pieces of furniture--a couple of cots, a cook-stove, table, and chairs. 

"On our way home we met a woman who gave us a history of the house. Anold miser lived there long ago. One night he was robbed and murdered, and his ghost still haunts the place. No one ventures in its vicinity, and she said most likely we were the first people who had gone theresince the tragedy. She told us of a nearer way to reach it. You takethe road to Windy Creek, and about two miles below here, turn into alane and then go through a grove and over a hill. "

"You don't really believe the story, that is, the ghost part of it?"asked Rossiter. 

"N--o, " allowed Beth. "Still, I'd like to. It makes it interesting. Ptolemy and I are going down there some night to see if we can findthe ghost. "

"You won't see one, " I assured her. "Ptolemy's presence would besufficient to keep even a ghost in the background. "

"Ptolemy's a peach, " declared Beth emphatically. 

"If he were older, you wouldn't think so, " said Rob. 

"Why not?" asked Beth in surprise, or seeming surprise. 

He smiled enigmatically, and irrelevantly asked her if she wouldn'treally be afraid to go to the haunted house at night with only Ptolemyfor protection. 

She assured him she shouldn't be afraid of a ghost if she saw one, andthat she shouldn't be afraid to go alone. 

Throughout the evening, which we spent in rowing, walking, and laterat a little impromptu supper, I was interested in observing thepuzzling behavior of Beth and my chum. I had expected that he wouldavoid her as much as possible and speak to her only when commonpoliteness made conversation obligatory, and that she, a borncoquette, would seek to add his scalp to her collection. Instead, tomy surprise, their rôles were reversed. He appeared interested in herevery remark and looked at her often and intently. He was quiteassiduous in his attentions which, strange to say, she discouraged, not with the deep design of a flirt to increase his ardor, but with acalm firmness that admitted of no doubt as to her feelings. 

"Your sister, " he remarked to me as we were walking down to the lakefor a swim just before going to bed, "is a very unusual type. "

"Not at all!" I assured him. "Beth is the true feminine type which youhave never taken the trouble to know. "

"Oh, come, Lucien! Not feminine, you know. Though she is inconsistent. "

I resented the imputation hotly, but he only laughed and said that heguessed it was true that a man didn't understand the women in hisfamily as well as an outsider did. 

"You think, " I said, "just because she says she isn't afraid ofghosts--"

"Not at all, " he denied. "That wasn't the reason, but--I like hertype, though I always supposed I wouldn't. It is a new one tome--anyway. I didn't think so young a girl as she--"

Our discussion was cut short by the inevitable, ever-present Ptolemy, who came running up to us, clad in about four inches of swimmingtrunks. 

"Why aren't you in bed?" I demanded. 

"I was in bed, but it was so warm I couldn't sleep, and I went to thewindow and saw you coming down here, so I thought I'd come, too. "

I repeated Rob's remarks to Silvia when I returned to our room, andshe betrayed Beth's confidences in regard to Rob. 

"She says she would like him if it were not for one trait that shedislikes more than any other in a man and that it was sufficient inher estimation to counterbalance all his good qualities. "

"What can she mean?" I asked bewildered. "I don't see a flaw in Rob, except for his being a woman-hater, and he surely hasn't betrayed thatfact to her, judging from his manner toward her. I think he is makingan effort to be nice to her on my account, and she doesn't appreciateit. "

"I asked her what the flaw was, and she flushed and said she couldn'ttell me. "

"Well, I guess all around it is a good thing we are going off on ourfishing expedition. I don't want my friend turned down by my sister, and I don't want my friend calling my sister a new type andunfeminine. "

CHAPTER VIII

_Ptolemy Disappears and I Visit a Haunted House_

When Rob and I, with our camping outfit, drove off through the woods, Ptolemy's eyes followed us so enviously and he pleaded so eloquentlyto be taken with us that Rob was actually on the point of consideringit. 

"See here, Rob Rossiter!" I exclaimed, "This is my vacation and all Icame to this God-forsaken place for was to escape the Polydores. If hegoes, I stay. You know I've always tried to meet issues, but thisantique family has got me going. "

"All right, " he yielded. 

After a drive of a few miles we came to the lake and pitched our tent. Two days of ideal camp life followed. The weather was fine, Rob was afirst-class cook, and the sport was beyond our most optimisticexpectation. We landed enough of the Friday food to satisfy the mostfastidious fishing fiend, and the mosquitoes, finding we wereimpervious to their stings, finally let us alone. 

I forgot all business cares and disappointments, yes, even thePolydores; but on the morning of the third day Rob began to show signsof restlessness and spoke of the likelihood of my wife's beinglonely. 

"Not with Beth and Ptolemy in calling distance, " I told him. 

"But they will be off together, " he replied, "and your wife will bealone with that _enfant terrible_. I fancy, too, that your sisterisn't exactly a companion for your wife. "

"Well, that shows how little you know her. She and Silvia are greatfriends. "

"Oh, yes, of course they are friendly, but I mean their tastes are sodifferent, and they are so unlike. Your sister doesn't care fordomesticity. "

"Sure she does. You have turned the wrong searchlight on Beth. If youknew her, you'd like her. "

"I do like her, " he declared. "It's too bad she--"

He stopped abruptly and quickly changed the conversation. In spite ofmy efforts to renew the controversy about Beth, he refused to returnto the subject. 

[Illustration: He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us. ]

In the afternoon, when I was doing a little scale work preparatory tocooking, a messenger from the hotel drove up with a note from Silviawhich I read aloud:

"Ptolemy has been missing for twenty-four hours. We are in hopes hehas joined you. If not, what shall I do?"

"We'll go back with you, " said Rob to the man. "Just lend a hand hereand help us pull up these tent stakes. "

"What's Ptolemy to me or I to him?" I asked with a groan, "can't wegive him absent treatment?"

"You're positively inhuman, Lucien, " protested Rob. "The boy may be atthe bottom of the lake. "

"Not he! He was born to be hung. "

All this time, however, I had been active in making preparations fordeparture, as I knew that Silvia would feel that we were responsiblefor Ptolemy's safety, and her anxiety was reason enough for me tohasten to her. 

Rob was quite jubilant on our return trip and declared that the fishcame too easily and too plentifully to make it real sport, but I feltthat I had another grudge to be charged up to the fateful family. 

We found Silvia pale from anxiety, Beth in tears, and Diogenes loudlyclamoring for "Tolly. " We learned that the afternoon before, Silviaand Beth had gone with the landlady for a ride, leaving Diogenes inPtolemy's care, but on their return at dinner time, Diogenes wasplaying alone in the sandpile. 

Nothing was thought of Ptolemy's absence until bedtime, and they hadthen sent out searching parties to the woods and the lake shores. Finally it occurred to Beth that he might have gone to join Rob andme, so they sent the messenger to investigate. 

"He must be lost in the woods somewhere, " said Beth tearfully, "andhe will starve to death. "

Rob actually touched her hand in his distress at her grief. 

"Ptolemy is too smart to get lost anywhere, " I declared. "He knowsfully as much about woodcraft as he does about every other kind ofcraft. He's one of his mother's antiquities personified. But haven'tyou been able to find anyone who saw him after you went for yourride?"

"No; even the hotel help were all out on the lake. "

"And he left Diogenes here, absolutely unguarded?"

"Well!" admitted Silvia, "he tied Diogenes to a tree near thesandpile. "

"Then he must have gone away with malice aforethought, " I said, "and Diogenes is the only one who knows anything about his lastmovements. "

I lifted the child to my knee, and speaking more gently to him than Ihad ever done, I asked:

"Di, did you and Tolly play in the sandpile yesterday?"

He was quite emphatic in his affirmative. 

"Well, tell Ocean: Did Tolly go away and leave you?"

"Tolly goed away, " he confirmed. 

"Oh, Lucien!" protested Beth, laughing. "He's too little to know whatyou are talking about or to remember. "

"Lucien's ruling passion strong in death, " murmured Rob. "He can'thelp cross-examining the cradle even!"

"Which way, " I resumed, ignoring these interruptions, "did Tollygo--that way?" pointing towards the woods. 

"No! Tolly goed--" and he trailed off into his baby jargon which noone could understand, but he pointed to the lake. 

"What did he say when he went away; when he tied the rope aroundyou?"

"Bye-bye. "

"What else?"

Diogenes' intentions to be communicative were certainly all right, butnot a word was intelligible. As he kept picking at his dress andpointing to it, I finally prompted:

"Did Tolly pin a paper to Di's dress?"

"'m--h'--m. "

"Bravo, Lucien!" applauded Rob. "They say you can induce a witness toadmit anything. "

"What did Di do with the paper?" I continued. 

The word he wanted evidently being beyond his vocabulary and speech, he made a rotary motion with his fist. The gesture conveyed nothing toour minds, but was instantly recognized and interpreted by thelandlady's little girl, who said he meant a windmill such as she hadsometimes made for him. 

"What did Di do with the windmill?" I asked. 

He pointed to the sandpile, which I investigated and found a stickplanted therein. I pulled it up and saw a pin sticking in the end ofit. Further excavation revealed a crumpled piece of paper on which waswritten in Ptolemy's round hand:

 "Want to see kids. Am going home. Tell Beth I bet she dasent go to the haunted house alone at night. Ptolemy. "

"Poor Huldah!" sighed Silvia. 

"I thought he was having the time of his life here, " said Rob. 

"He was sore, " declared Beth, "because you and Lucien wouldn't takehim with you on the fishing trip. He was moping by himself all themorning. "

"Trying to think up some new deviltry, " I theorized, "to make us feelbad. "

"No, " asserted Silvia, "I think he really misses the boys. ThePolydores, for all their scrappings, are very clannish. But how do yousuppose he got down to Windy Creek?"

"He could catch plenty of rides along the way, but what is puzzling meis how he got the money to pay his fare. "

"He seemed very well provided with cash, " informed Rob. "I tried topay for his ticket down here, but he insisted on buying it himself. "

Silvia worried so much about what might happen to him en route thatafter dinner I motored to Windy Creek with some tourists who hadstopped at the hotel in passing. 

I called up long distance and after some delay got in communicationwith our house. Ptolemy himself answered and assured me he had arrivedall "hunky doory", that Huldah, who was out on an errand, was "hunkydoory", and that the kids were all "hunky doory. " In fact, hischeerful tone indicated that the whole universe was in the beatificstate described by his expressive adjective. 

I was really ripping mad at his taking French leave and so givingSilvia cause for her anxiety, but I forbore to reprimand him by wordor tone, lest he get even by "coming back" literally. I did tell himhow the loss of the note for twenty-four hours had caused a generalexcitement, but he felt no remorse for his share in the situation, blaming Diogenes entirely and bidding me "punch the kid's face" forunpinning the note. 

On my return from Windy Creek I was fortunate enough to fall in with afarmer who lived near the hotel. He was driving some sort of a machinehe called an _autoo_. He was an old-timer in the vicinity and relatedthe past, present, and pluperfect of all the residents on the route. Ihad a detailed and vivid account of the midnight visitor of thehaunted house. 

"I'd jest naturally like to see what there is to it, " he said. "Notthat I am afeerd at all, only it's sort of spooky to go to a lonesomeplace like that all alone. If I could git some one to go with me, I'dtackle the job, but I vum if every time I perpose it to anyone theydon't make some excuse. "

"I'm on, " I declared. "I don't dread ghosts near as much as I do someliving folks I know. "

"Right you air, " chuckled the old man. "If you say so we'll go rightoff now jest as sure as shootin'. We may be ghosts ourselvestomorrow. "

I assured him I was quite ready to encounter the ghost, so hejubilantly turned the machine from the road into a grass-grown lane. We zigzagged for some distance and then got out and went on footthrough a grove. The moon and the stars were half veiled by somelight, misty clouds, so that the little house didn't show up veryclearly, but as we came to the top of the hill, we saw something thatshook even my well-behaved nerves. 

From a window in the roof-room extended a white arm and hand, withindex finger pointing threateningly and directly toward us. 

My farmer friend turned quickly and fled toward the grove. I followedfleetly. "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him. 

"I just happened to remember, " he explained gaspingly, "that there's apesky autoo thief in these 'ere parts. Bukins had his stole jest lastnight. "

The lights on his machine must have reassured him as to its safetywhen we emerged from the woods into the open, but he didn't lessen hisspeed. We got in the "autoo" and soon said good-by to the lane. At onetime I believed it was good-by to everything, but at last we gainedthe highway, right side up. 

"Well!" I said, when we were running normally again on terra firma, "that was some little old ghost, --beckoned to us to come right in, too!"

"You seen it then!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I'm mighty glad I had aneyewitness. Folks wouldn't believe me. "

"They probably won't believe me, either, " I assured him. "I am alawyer. "

"You don't tell me! Well, it did jest give me a start for a minute. I'd like to hev gone in and seen it nigh to, if I hadn't happened tothink of this 'ere autoo. You see I ain't got it all paid for yet. I'mjest clean beat. You don't mind my takin' a leetle pull at a stonefence, do you?"

"I guess not, " I assented somewhat dubiously, however. "That was arail fence we took a pull at back in the lane, wasn't it? Of course, if we shouldn't happen to clear the stone fence as well as we did therail fence, it might be more disastrous. "

"Oh, land!" he said with a cackling laugh, "I ain't meanin' that kindof a fence. I mean the kind you--Say! You ain't one of themteetotalers, be you?"

"Only in theory, " I replied, "but this stone fence drink is a new oneon me. What's it like?"

He stopped the "autoo" and pulled a bottle from an inner pocket. 

"You kin taste it better than I kin tell it, " he declared. "Take apull--a condumned good one. "

I rarely imbibed, confining my indulgences to the demands ofnecessity, but I thought that the flight of Ptolemy, the ghostlyencounter, and my Mazeppa--wild ride all combined to constitute anoccasion adequate to call for a bracer in the shape of a stone fence, or anything he might produce. 

I took what I considered a "condumned good one" from the bottle and itnearly strangled me, but I followed the aged stranger's advice to takeanother to "cure the chokes" caused by the first one. On generalprinciples I took a third and then reluctantly returned him thebottle. 

"Here's over the moon, " he jovially exclaimed as he proceeded to makemy attempt at a "condumned good one" appear most niggardly. 

"May I ask, " I inquired when my feeling of nerve-tense strain hadvanished, and I felt as if I were treading thin air, "just what is ina stone fence?"

"Well, what do you think?" he asked slyly. 

"I think the very devil is in it, " I replied. 

"Well, mebby, " he admitted. "It's two-thirds hard cider and one-thirdwhisky. It's a healthy, hearting drink and yet it has a leetle comeback to it--a sort o' kick, you know. But this is where I live, "pointing to a farmhouse well back from the road, "but I am goin' torun you on to your tavern though. "

The hotel was dark, save for a light in my room. I invited him in, buthe was anxious to "git hum and tell the folks", so I gave him somecigars and went in to "tell my folks. "

I found them in the room waiting for me. That is, Beth was in theroom, sitting by the table and pretending to read. Silvia and Rob wereout in the little balcony. They came inside as soon as they heard myvoice. 

"Oh, was he there?" asked Silvia anxiously. 

"Yes, " I replied. "He answered the telephone himself. "

I was feeling quite exhilarated by this time. My wife looked a perfectvision to me. Beth, I thought, was some sister, and Rob the bestfellow in the world. Even the Polydores at long range, and under theameliorating influence of stone fences, seemed like fine littlefellows--rather active and strenuous, to be sure, but only as allwholesome children should be. 

Silvia was relieved at the announcement of Ptolemy's safety, but verymuch disappointed that I did not succeed in interviewing Huldah andfinding out something about domestic affairs. 

I assured her that everything was "hunky doory" at home, praised thetelephone service, my expedition to town, and painted my return ridewith "the honest farmer" in glowing terms. I was suddenly halted in myeulogy by becoming aware of an amazed expression on my wife'scountenance, a most suspicious glance in Beth's wide-open eyes, and avery knowing wink from Rob. 

"Lucien, " said Silvia severely, "I believe you've been drinking. Icertainly smell spirits. "

"Maybe you do, " I replied jocosely. "I certainly saw spirits. I wentto the haunted house on my way back. "

"I thought Windy Creek was a dry town, " remarked Rob innocently. 

"It is, " I assured him, "but I rode home with an old man--a farmer. "

"Does he run a blind pig?" asked Rob. 

"It was more like a pig in a poke, " I replied. 

"Lucien, " exclaimed Silvia reproachfully, "you told me two years ago, after that banquet to the Bar, that you were never going to touch wineor whisky again. What did that horrid old man give you?"

"A stone fence. That's what he said it was anyway. "

"It's a new one on me, " commented Rob. 

"There was a new toast went with it. He drank to 'over the moon. '"

"You must have gone there all right and taken all the shine from themoon-man, " said Rob. 

"Lucien, " asked Beth, "did you really go to that haunted house?"

Again I was moved to eloquence, and I told of the farmer's yearning, the fulfillment, the beckoning hand and the beating of the retreat atlength. 

"Are you sure, " asked Rob, "that you didn't take that stone fencebefore you visited the haunted house?"

"I know, " I replied, loftily, "that a lawyer's word is worthless, butseeing is believing. We will all visit the haunted house tomorrownight and I'll make good on ghosts. "

This plan was unanimously approved, and then Silvia suggested that shethought I had better go to bed. I had no particular objection to doingso. 

"Lucien, " she said solemnly, when we were alone, "I want you topromise me something. I want you to give me your word that you willnever take another stone wall. "

I did this most readily. 

CHAPTER IX

_In Which We See Ghosts_

The next morning Rob tried earnestly and vainly to drive a wedge inBeth's good graces, but she treated him with a casual tolerance thatfinally put him in an ill humor which he took out on me with many agibe at my "stone fence spirit. "

Men of my profession who have to deal with facts rather than fancy arenot believers in the supernatural. I was sure that the extending armand the beckoning finger were there, but belonged to no ghost. Itmight have been a curtain blowing out the window or a fake of somekind. But I knew that unless there was some kind of a showing in aghostly way that night, I should never hear the last of my stone fenceindulgence, so I resolved to make a preliminary visit alone bydaylight and rig up something white to substantiate my spectralnarrative. 

I didn't find an opportunity to escape unseen until late in theafternoon, when I went, ostensibly, for a solitary row on the lake. 

I landed and came by a circuitous route to the haunted house. The calmsecurity of sunshine, of course, prevented any shivers of anticipationsuch as I had experienced the night before. On passing one of thewindows on my way to the front entrance, I glanced in, stopped insheer fright, stooped and backed to the next window, which wasscreened by a labyrinth of vines through which I peered. I am sure Ilost my Bloom of Youth complexion for a few moments. I babbledaimlessly to myself and then managed to pull together and beat it tothe lake with as much speed as my farmer friend had shown in hisretreat. I made the boat and the hotel in double quick time. 

[Illustration: I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to pulltogether and beat it to the lake]

I felt no misgivings now as to the promise of a sensation that night, and that sustaining thought was all that propped my flagging spiritsthroughout the day, but I resolved to keep my little party at safedistance from the house. 

"Say we keep our nocturnal noctambulation under our hats, " proposedRob. 

When this proposition was translated to Silvia, she entirely approved, so, committing Diogenes to the Polydores' Providence, we left thehotel at half past eleven for a row on the lake by moonlight. 

When we descended the slope leading to the House of Mystery, Icautioned silence and a "safety-first" distance. 

"Ghosts are easily vanished, " I informed them. "They don't seeklimelight, and I want you to be sure to see this one. "

As we came to the untrodden undergrowth we heard a weird, wailingsound that would have curdled my blood had I not glanced in the windowthat afternoon and so, in a measure, been prepared for this--oranything. 

"Look!" whispered Beth. "The arm!"

Silvia looked at the roof window and with a stifled shriek of terrorturned and fled up the hill, Rob chivalrously pursuing her. 

Beth was pale, but game. 

"What can it be, Lucien?" she whispered. "Do we dare go in to see?"

"I wouldn't, Beth, " I vetoed quickly. "Maybe some lunatic orhalf-witted person has taken up abode here. "

"Lucien!" called Rob peremptorily. 

I turned quickly. He was at the top of the hill, half supportingSilvia. I ran toward them, followed by Beth. 

"It isn't a ghost, of course, Silvia, " I said soothingly, and thenrepeated my supposition about the lunatic. 

"Of course I don't believe in ghosts, " said Silvia shudderingly, "butit's an awful place and those sounds are like those I have heard innightmares. "

"We'll hurry back to the hotel and forget all about it, " I urged. 

I rowed the boat and Silvia sat opposite me. Beth and Rob were in thestern and I had to listen to their conversation. 

"Of course I felt a little creepy, " she admitted, "but then I like tofeel that way, and I wasn't afraid. "

"No, of course, you wouldn't be, " he replied somewhat ironically. "You're the new woman type. "

"No, I am not, " she denied. "I wish I were. Silvia's really thestrong-minded type. "

"She didn't act the part when she saw the ghost, " he retorted. 

"It's very unusual for her nerves to give way. Silvia's quite asurprise to me this summer, but I think those funny Polydores haveupset her more than Lucien realizes. "

I wondered if she were right, and once again murderous wishes towardthe Polydores entered my brain, and I made renewed vows aboutdisposing of them on our return home. 

One thing, however, had been accomplished by our expedition. Silviawas more lenient in her judgment on my indulgences of the precedingnight. 

By the time we pulled in at the landing, Silvia had recovered herequilibrium. 

"Lucien, what the devil do you suppose was in that house?" asked Rob, when we were putting up the boat. 

"Loons and things, " I allowed. 

"But what was that white arm?"

"Some fake thing the village wag has put up to scare the natives. "

Next morning's stage brought some new arrivals, and among them weretwo college students who at once were claimed by Beth. She playedtennis with one and later went rowing with the other. Rob smoked andsulked, apart. 

My farmer friend had been garrulous and rumors of the ghost and thehaunted house had come to the ears of the hotel inmates, therebycausing a pleasurable stir of excitement. A number of them announcedtheir intention of visiting the place. They asked me to be theirguide, but I refused. 

"It was interesting, " I said, "but I think it would be a bore to seethe same ghost twice. "

"I am sure I don't care to go again, " was Silvia's emphatic replywhen asked to be one of the party. 

"Ghosts are scientifically admitted and explained, " growled Rob, "so Idon't see anything to be excited about. "

Beth accepted the offer of escort of one of the students, so Silvia, Rob, and I remained at home. The night was quite cool, and we playedcards in our room. When the party returned, Beth joined us. She lookedrather out of sorts. 

"Oh, yes, " she replied in answer to Silvia's eager inquiry. "We sawthe ghost. I don't know whether it was the same little old lastnight's ghost or a new one. He showed more of himself this timethough. He had two arms and a veiled head out of the window. As soonas our crowd glimpsed it, they all fled quicker than we did lastnight. Those two students fell all over each other and left me in thelurch. "

"What could you expect, " asked Rob, "from such ladylike things? Theyought to be kept in the confines of the croquet ground. If they are afair specimen of the kind you have met, no wonder you--"

[Illustration: The landlady intears waylaid me]

He stopped abruptly. 

"No wonder what?" she asked quickly. 

"Nothing, " he replied glumly. 

When I came down to breakfast the next morning, the landlady in tearswaylaid me. 

"Oh, Mr. Wade, " she began in trouble-telling tone, "this affair aboutthe ghost is going to hurt my business. Some of those folks say theyare going home, and they will tell others and--"

"I'll fix the ghost story. Just leave it to me!" I assured heroptimistically, as we went into the dining-room. 

There were only enough guests to fill one long table, and every onewas excitedly dissecting the ghost. 

I took my seat and also the floor. 

"I hate to dispel your illusions, " I said cheerfully, "but the factis, I made a daylight investigation of the haunted house. First Ilooked in the window and I saw--"

"Oh, what did you see?" chorused a dozen or more expectant voices. 

"A lot of--mice. "

"Oh!" came in disappointed and skeptical tones. 

"But, the ghost, Mr. Wade?"

"Yes! The arms and the head?"

"A fake figure put up by some practical joker for the purpose offrightening timid people and encouraging the credulous. I didn't wantto spoil your little picnic, so I kept still. "

"Those sounds, Lucien!" reminded Silvia. 

"Were from a cat chorus. They were prowling about the house. "

"You're sure some lawyer, Mr. Wade, " doubtfully complimented mygrateful landlady, as we went out of the room after breakfast. 

"Lucien, " asked Rob _sotto voce_, joining me on the veranda, "whydon't the cats you speak of catch that lot of mice?"

Fortunately Beth came up to us, and I didn't have to explain. 

"Oh!" she said with a shudder. "I'll never go near that awful place!I'd rather see a perfectly good ghost, or a loon, or a lunatic any daythan a mouse. "

"You're surely not afraid of a mouse!" exclaimed Rob. 

"Why not?" she asked coolly as she walked on. 

"I told you she was feminine, " I reminded him. 

He shook his head. 

"I can't understand, " he remarked, "why a girl who is afraid of miceshould be--"

"You don't understand anything about women, " I interrupted. 

"You're right, Lucien. I don't, but your sister is surely the greatestenigma of them all. "

I rented the stone fence farmer's "autoo" and took Silvia andDiogenes to a neighboring town that afternoon. We didn't get back tothe hotel until dinner time. 

"What have you been up to all day, Rob?" I asked. 

"Numerous things. For one, I strolled down to the haunted house. "

"What did you see?" cried the women. 

"I saw four--"

"Ghosts?" asked Beth. 

I shot him a warning glance. 

"Young tomcats playing tag with the mice. "

I corralled Rob outside after dinner. 

"For Heaven's sake!" I implored. "Don't disturb Silvia's peace ofmind. Did you go inside?"

"No; I was sorely tempted to, but refrained out of deference to theevident wishes of my host, but really, Lucien, we should--"

"I have only ten more days off, Rob. Don't make any unpleasantsuggestions. "

"I won't, " he said promptly. 

CHAPTER X

_In Which We Make Some Discoveries_

Diogenes, who, for a Polydore, had been quite placid since Ptolemy'sdeparture, caused a commotion by disappearing the next morning. As hewas possessed of a deep desire to go in the lake and get a littlesnake, he had been, when not under strict surveillance, tied to a treewith enough leeway in the length of rope to allow him to playcomfortably. 

By some means he had managed to work himself loose from the rope andhad evidently followed Ptolemy's example. I suggested calling upHuldah and asking if he had arrived yet, but I met with such chillingglances from Silvia and Beth that I got busy and organized searchingparties, who reluctantly and lukewarmly engaged in the pursuit. Roband I took the shore. After we had walked some little distance, we meta woman and stopped for inquiry. She said she had seen a child ofabout two years, clad in a blue and white striped dress and a big hat, going over the hill in company with a boy of about eight. 

"Are you going on to the hotel?" I asked. 

On her replying that she was, I told her to inform them that she hadmet me and that the lost child was located. 

Rob and I then kept on over the hill, and when we neared the hauntedhouse, we heard hair-raising sounds. 

"If I hadn't been here before, " remarked Rob, "I should think thatSitting Bull had been reincarnated and was reviving the warrior warwhoops. "

We paused on the threshold. A human windmill of whirling legs andarms--Polydore legs and arms--flashed before our eyes. 

"Stop!" I thundered. 

The flying wheel of arms and legs slacked, ran a few times, thenslowly stopped, and the Polydore quintette assumed normal positions. 

"Halloa, stepdaddy!"

A landslide composed of Emerald, Pythagoras, and Demetrius startedtoward me. I side-stepped and let Rob receive the charge. 

"Line them up now, for attention, " I directed Ptolemy. "I havesomething to say to you all. "

Ptolemy knocked the three terrors up against the wall, and I picked upDiogenes, who had a bump as big as an egg on his head. 

"I told you, " said Ptolemy to Pythagoras, "that if you brought Di downhere they'd get on our trail. He wanted to see Di, " he explained, "sohe sneaked over there and got him. "

"We were wise before today, " I informed him. "I saw you all day beforeyesterday. "

"And I discovered you yesterday, " added Rob. 

Ptolemy looked rather crestfallen, and then, seeming to consider thatmy discovery had been succeeded by inaction, which must meannon-interference, he heartened up. 

"Now, " I demanded, "I want you to begin at the time you left the hoteland tell me everything and why you did it. "

"I wasn't having any fun after you two went off camping, " he beganlugubriously. "I couldn't hang around women folks all the time. Iwanted boys to play with. "

I saw a gleam of sympathy and understanding come into Rob's eyes. 

"A harem of hens, " he muttered. 

"I knew we could all have a grand time here and not be a bother tomudder, or Huldah or anyone, and it seemed too bad for this nice houseto be empty, and no one anywhere else wanting us. "

I felt my first gleam of pity for a Polydore and wiped Diogenes'dirty, moist face carefully with my handkerchief. 

"So I went home and told Huldah I had come after the boys to take themback with me. "

"And told her we had sent for them?" I asked sharply. 

He flushed slightly at my tone. 

"No; I didn't tell her so. She got that idea herself, and I didn'ttell her different. "

"When did you come?"

"I came the same night that you telephoned, and took the train you andmudder came on. We got to Windy Creek in the morning. We fetched allour stuff here from home. I bought it. "

"Right here, " I said, "tell me where you got the money to buy yourstuff and to pay your fare here. "

"I cashed father's check. "

"I didn't know he left you one. "

"He didn't, except the one he gave me to give you for our board. Youtold mudder you wouldn't touch it, and it seemed a pity not to have itworking. "

Visions of a future Polydore doing the chain and ball step flashedbefore my vision. 

"And they cashed it for you at the bank?"

"Sure. Father always has me cash his checks for him. "

"What amount did you fill in?" I asked enviously. 

"One hundred dollars. There's a lot more in the bank, too. "

"How did you get your truck here from Windy Creek?" asked Rob. 

"We divided it up and each took a bunch and started on foot, and somepeople in an automobile, going to the town past here, took us in andbrought us as far as the lane. We've been having a fine time. "

"What doing?" asked Rob interestedly. 

"Fishing, sailing on a raft, playing in the woods all day and--"

"Playing ghost at night, " said Pythagoras with a grin. 

"Who made that ghost in the window?" I demanded. 

"I did. I rigged up an arm and put it out the window the afternoon Ileft, hoping Beth would come down and see it, but we've got a jimdandy one now. "

"That was quite a shapely arm, " said Rob. "Where did you learnsculpturing?"

"Oh, I rigged it up, " he said casually. 

"What did you bring in the way of supplies?"

"Bacon, crackers, beans, candy, popcorn, gum, peanuts, pickles, candles, matches, and butter, " was the glib inventory. 

"You may stay here, " I said, "until we go home, but you are not tostir away from the woods about here and not on any account to comenear the hotel, or let it be known that you are here. And you are toend this ghost business right off. Now, Di, we'll go home to mudder. "

"No!" bawled Di. "Stay with boys. Mudder come here. "

At least this was Ptolemy's interpretation of his protest. 

I threatened, Rob coaxed, and Ptolemy cuffed, but every time I startedto leave and jerk him after me, he uttered such demoniac yells I wasforced to stop. 

"Wish it was night, " said Emerald regretfully. "Wouldn't he scarefolks though! How does he get his voice up so high?"

"Poor little Di!" said a voice commiseratingly from the doorway. "WasOcean plaguing him?"

Beth gathered the child in her arms, and his howls changed to sobs. Rob stood petrified with amazement at her appearance. 

"Don't want to go, " said Diogenes between gulps. 

"Needn't go!" promised Beth. "Stay here with me, and we'll have dinnerwith the boys and then we'll go home and get some ice cream. "

"All yite, " agreed the appeased Polydore. 

"May Lucien and I stay to dinner, too?" asked Rob humbly. 

"No, " she replied icily. 

"But, Beth, " I remonstrated. "Silvia will be worrying about Di. Howcan we explain?"

"Silvia has gone to Windy Creek for the day. You see, I met that womanyou sent to the hotel, and she told me she saw Di going over the hillwith a boy, and I suddenly seemed to smell one of your mice, so I sentthe woman on her way, and told Silvia you and Rob had found Diogenes. Just then some people she knew came along in a car and asked her to goto Windy Creek. I made her go and told her I'd look after Di. "

"You're a brick, Beth!" applauded Ptolemy. 

"If you boys will be very careful and not let anyone besides us knowyou are here, so mudder will not hear of it, for though she'd like tosee you"--this without a flicker or flinch--"we want her to have anice rest. I'll come over every day except tomorrow and bring thingsfrom the hotel store, and bake up cookies and cake for you. "

A yell of approval went up. 

"Why can't you come tomorrow?" asked the greedy Demetrius. 

"Because I've promised to go to the other end of the lake on a picnic. All the people at the hotel are going. "

"I'll come tomorrow and spend the whole day with you, " promised Rob. "We'll have a ride in the sailboat and do all sorts of things. "

"Why, aren't you going on that infernal picnic?" I asked. 

"No; I'll have all the picnic I want over here. Like Ptolemy I feelthat I want to play with some of my own kind. "

Beth looked at him approvingly; then she said a little sarcastically:

"Maybe you'll change your mind--about going on the picnic, Imean--when you see the new girl who just came to the hotel on themorning stage. She's a blonde, and not peroxided, either. "

"That would certainly drive him down here, or anywhere, " I laughed. 

"Oh, don't you like blondes?" she asked innocently. 

"He doesn't like--" I began, but Ptolemy rudely interrupted with anelaborate description of a new kind of fishing tackle he had bought. 

Then Beth bade Pythagoras build a fire in the cook-stove while sheset the room to rights. 

"We'll eat out of doors, " she said, "I think it would be moreappetizing. "

"How did you get here?" Rob asked her as we were leaving. 

"I rowed over. "

"May I come over and row you back?" he asked pleadingly. 

She hesitated, and then, realizing that she could scarcely manage aboat and Diogenes at the same time, assented, bidding him not come, however, until five o'clock. 

"She'll have enough of the Polydores by that time, " I said to Rob onour way home. 

"Do you know, " he said reflectively, "I like Ptolemy. There's themaking of a man in him, if he has only half a chance. I didn't supposeyour sister understood children so well or was so fond of them. Shelooked quite the little housewife, too. "

"You'd discover a lot of things you don't know, if you'd cultivate thesociety of women, " I informed him. 

CHAPTER XI

_A Bad Means to a Good End_

When we were setting out on the proposed picnic the next day, Rob madehimself extremely unpopular by announcing his intention to spend theday otherwise. The new blonde girl gave him fetching glances ofentreaty which he never even saw. He made another sensation byproposing to keep Diogenes with him. To Silvia's surprise, Diogenesvoiced his delight and chattered away, I suppose, about playing withthe boys, but fortunately no one understood him. 

"Won't you change your mind and come, too?" he asked Beth. 

She seemed on the point of accepting and then firmly declined. 

When we returned at six o'clock, Rob and Diogenes were awaiting us. There was something in Rob's eyes I had not seen there before. He hadthe look of one in love with life. 

"Did you have a nice time playing solitaire?" asked Silvia. 

"I had a very nice time, " he replied with a subtle smile, "but Ididn't play solitaire. You know I had Diogenes. "

"Diogenes apparently had a good time, too, " said Silvia, looking atthe child, who was certainly a wreck in the way of garments. "What didyou do all day, Rob?"

"We went out on the water, played games, and had a picnic dinneroutdoors. "

"You had huckleberry pie for one thing, " she observed, with a glanceat Diogenes' dress, "and jelly for another, and--"

"Chicken, baked potatoes, milk, cake, and ice cream, " he finished. 

"Where did you get ice cream?" she asked. 

"I went down to a dairy farm and got a gallon. "

"A gallon!" she exclaimed. "For you and Diogenes?"

"We didn't eat it all, " he said guardedly. "I gave what we didn't eatto some stray boys. "

"I hope Di won't be ill. "

"He won't, " asserted Rob. "I am sure he is made of cast iron. "

Throughout dinner Rob remained in high spirits. He kept eyeing Beth ina way that disconcerted her, and then suddenly he would smile with theexpression of one who knows something funny, but intends to keep it asecret. 

Presently Silvia left us and went upstairs to give Diogenes a bathbefore she put him to bed. 

"You've had two days' freedom from the last of the Polydores, " Icalled after her. "Doesn't it seem delightful?"

"Lucien, " she answered slowly, "I've really missed the care of him. Iwas lonesome for him all day. "

"He isn't such a bad little kid when he is out from Polydoreenvironment, " I admitted, regretting that he had been restored to it. 

"Now tell us all about your day with the boys, " Beth asked Rob, whenwe were left alone. "It really does seem too bad to keep a secret fromSilvia, and yet it is a case of where ignorance is bliss--"

"It would be folly to be otherwise, " finished Rob. "Well, Diogenes andI left here with a boat load of supplies in the way of provender andthings for the boys. I had to tie Diogenes in the boat, of course, sohe would not try some aquatic feat. He objected and yelled like afiend all the way. I was glad there was no one at the hotel to comeout and arrest me for cruelty to children. Of course before we landed, his cries were heard by his brothers and they were all at the water'sedge. They made mulepacks of themselves and transferred the commissarysupplies. The ice cream and bats and balls which I found at the storemade quite a hit. 

"We played baseball, fished, and had a spread on the shore. ThenPtolemy and I rowed out to where the sailboat was. I explained themysteries of the jib and he caught on instantly. We took in the otherPolydores and sailed for a couple of hours. Then we all went inswimming. "

"Not Diogenes!"

"Certainly. I tucked him under my arm and he seemed perfectly at home, although greatly disappointed because we didn't succeed in catching asnake. 

"I finally landed them all safely under the roof of the Haunted House, and Ptolemy assured me it was the best day of his young life. Inappreciation of the diversions I had afforded him, he made aconfession which proved such good news to me that I was a lenientlistener and exacted no penalty. "

"What was it?" I asked. 

"He told me that on the day of Miss Wade's and my arrival at yourhouse, he had made a misstatement to each of us and had not repeatedto us accurately what he had overheard you telling Silvia when he wason the porch roof. Miss Wade, what did he tell you about me?"

"He said that Lucien said that your only failing was that you weredaffy over women and made love to every one you saw. "

"Oh, Beth!" I cried, light bursting in, "and you believed that littlewretch?"

"I did. "

"Then that is why you have been so--"

"Yes--so--" repeated Rob grimly. 

"Well, I never did have any use for a man-flirt, and I was awfullydisappointed, for I had thought from what Rob said that you were aman's man. "

"And then, of course, when for the first time in my life I began beinginterested in a woman--in you--I played right into that little scamp'shands. "

"He is a man's man, Beth, " I said warmly. "What Ptolemy heard me saywas that Rob was a woman-hater. "

"I am not!" declared Rob indignantly--"just a woman-shyer, but Ihaven't finished with Ptolemy's confession. I wonder, now, if eitherof you can guess what he told me was Miss Wade's characteristic. "

"I don't dare guess, " laughed Beth. 

"What I did say about Beth was that she was a born flirt. "

"I am not!" protested my sister, in resentment. 

"I should prefer that appellation to the one he gave you. He said youwere strong-minded and a man-hater. "

Even Beth saw the irony of this. 

"I asked him, " continued Rob, "what his motive was, and he said'Stepdaddy didn't want Beth to know about the man-hater business, ' sohe took that means of throwing you off the track. 

"I took the occasion to talk to him like a Dutch uncle, though I don'tknow exactly what that is. I think it was the first time anything butbrute force had been tried on him. I must have touched some littleflicker of the right thing in him, for he was really contrite andseemed to sense a different angle of vision when I explained to himwhat havoc could be worked by the misinformation of meddlers. Hepromised me he'd try to overcome his tendency to start things goingwrong. "

I made no comment, but it occurred to me that Ptolemy was a shrewdlittle fellow, and that there had been wisdom back of his strategicspeeches to Beth and Rob, for he had taken the one sure course to makethem both "take notice. "

"So, Beth, " said Rob, and her name seemed to come quite handily tohim, "can't we cut out the past ten days and begin our acquaintanceright?"

"I think we can, " she answered. 

"I had better go upstairs, " I suggested, "and tell Silvia thatDiogenes doesn't need a bath, seeing he has been in swimming. "

Neither of them urged me to remain, so I went up to our room and foundSilvia tucking Diogenes under cover. 

"What did you come up for?" she asked. "I was just coming down to joinyou. "

"Beth is treating Rob so--differently, that I thought it well toretreat. "

"I am so glad! Whatever came over the spirit of her dreams?"

"They've just discovered in the course of conversation that Ptolemy asusual crossed the wires and told Beth Rob was a flirt, and theninformed Rob that Beth was strong-minded and a man-hater. "

"Oh, the little imp!" she exclaimed indignantly. 

"I don't know. It worked, anyway, so Ptolemy was the bad means to agood end. "

"How did they ever happen to discover what he had done?"

"They caught on from something Rob said, " I told her, feeling againguilty at keeping my first secret from her. 

"It will be a fine match for Beth, " said Silvia. "Rob is such asplendid man, and then he has plenty of money. He can give heranything she wants. "

I winced. I think Silvia must have been conscious of it, even thoughthe room was dark, for she came to me quickly. 

"I wish I could give you--everything--anything--you want, Silvia. "

"You have, Lucien. The things that no money could buy--love andprotection. "

Well, maybe I had. I had surely given her protection from thePolydores, though she didn't know to what extent. 

"I am going to give you more material things, though, Silvia. When wego home, I shall start to work in earnest and see if I can't getenough ahead to make a good investment I know of. "

"I'd rather do without the necessities even, Lucien, than to have youwork any harder than you have been doing. We must let well enoughalone. "

CHAPTER XII

"_Too Much Polydores_"

The next morning at breakfast, Beth announced that she and Rob weregoing to spend the day camping in the woods. 

Silvia and I tried not to look significantly at each other, but Bethwas very keen. 

"We will take Diogenes with us, " she instantly added. 

"Oh, no!" protested Silvia. "He'll be such a bother. And then he can'twalk very far, you know. "

"He'll be no bother, " persisted Beth. "And we'll borrow the littlecart to draw him in. "

"Yes, " acquiesced Rob. "We sure want Diogenes with us. "

"I'll have them put up a lunch for you, " proposed Silvia. 

"No, " Rob objected. "We are going to forage and cook over a fire inthe woods. "

"Then, " I proposed to Silvia with alacrity, "we'll have our first dayalone together--the first we have had since the Polydores came intoour lives. I'll rent the 'autoo' again, and we will go through thecountry and dine at some little wayside inn. "

"Get the 'autoo', now, Lucien, " advised Beth privately, "and make anearly start, so Rob and I can take supplies from the store withoutarousing Silvia's suspicions. "

"I don't believe, " said Silvia disappointedly, when we were "autooing"on our way, "that they are in love after all, or that he hasproposed, or that he is going to. "

"Where did you draw all those pessimistic inferences from?" I asked. 

"From their both being so keen to take Diogenes with them. "

"Diogenes would be no barrier to their love-making, " I told her. "Hecouldn't repeat what they said; at least, not so anyone couldunderstand him. "

Many miles away we came upon a picturesque little old-time tavernwhere we had an appetizing dinner, and then continued on our aimlessway. It was nearly ten o'clock when we returned to the hotel, wherethe owner of the "autoo" was waiting. 

Rob came down the roadway. 

"Where's Beth?" asked Silvia. 

"She has gone to bed. The day in the open made her sleepy. "

When Silvia had left us, the old farmer said with a chuckle: "I can'toffer you another swig of stone fence. "

"It's probably just as well you can't, " I replied. 

"I'd like to be introduced to one, " said Rob, who appeared to besomewhat downcast. "I sure need a bracer. "

"What's the matter, Rob?" I asked when we were lighting our pipes. "Astrenuous day? Two in rapid 'concussion' with the Polydores must benerve-racking. "

"Yes; I admit there seemed to be 'too much Polydores. ' We all had ahappy reunion, and I devoted the forenoon to the entertainment of thefamous family so I could be entitled to the afternoon off to spendwith Beth. At noon we built a fire and cooked a sumptuous dinner. Bethbaked up some things to keep them supplied a couple of days longer. After dinner I asked her to go for a row. She insisted on takingDiogenes along, and the others all followed us on a raft. So I decidedto cut the water sports short, and Beth and I started for a walk inthe woods. Three or more were constantly right on our trail. I beggedand bribed, but to no avail. They were sticktights all right, and, " headded morosely, "she seemed covertly to aid and abet them. When westarted for home, I found that the young fiends had broken the cart, so I had to carry Diogenes most of the way, and of course he bellowedas usual at being parted from the whelps. "

[Illustration: I had to carry Diogenes most of the way]

"They aren't such 'fine little chaps' after all, " I couldn't resistcommenting. "Familiarity breeds contempt, you see. I am sorry Diogeneshad so much of their society. He'll be unendurable tomorrow. Well, youhad some day!"

"So did the Polydores. Demetrius and Diogenes fell in the fire twice. Emerald threw a finger out of joint, but Ptolemy quickly jerked itinto place. Pythagoras was kicked off the raft twice, following amutiny. Demetrius threw a lighted match into the vines and set fire tothe house. They said it was a 'beaut of a day', though, and urged usto come tomorrow and repeat the program. By the way, they went acrossthe lake on their raft yesterday and bought a tent of some campers. They have pitched it in the woods beyond the house. "

When I went upstairs Silvia met me disconsolately. 

"He didn't propose, " she said disappointedly. "She wouldn't let him. "

"Did you wake her up to find out?" I asked. 

"She hadn't gone to bed and she wasn't sleepy. She was trimming ahat. "

"Why wouldn't she let him propose, if she cares for him?" I askedperplexedly. 

"Well, you see, " explained Silvia, "that when a girl--a coquette girllike Beth--is as sure of a man as she is of Rob, she gets a touch ofcontrariness or offishness or something. She said it would have beentoo prosaic and cut and dried if they had gone away for a day in thewoods and come back engaged. She wants the unexpected. "

"Do you think she loves him?" I asked interestedly. 

"She doesn't say so. You can't tell from what she says anyway. Still, I think she is hovering around the danger point. "

"She'd better watch out. Rob isn't the kind of a man who will standfor too much thwarting, " I replied. 

"If he'd only play up a little bit to some one else, it would bringthings to a climax, " said my wife sagely. 

"There's no one else to play up to. The blonde left today because itwas so slow here. "

"Maybe some new girl will come tomorrow, " said Silvia, "or there'sthat trim little waitress who is waiting her way through college. Hegave her a good big tip yesterday. I think I will give him a hint. "

"It wouldn't help any. He wouldn't know how to play such a game if youcould persuade him to try. He'd probably tell the girl his motive inbeing attentive to her and then she'd back out. Maybe, after all, Bethdoesn't love him. "

"I think she does, " replied my wife, "because she is gettingabsent-minded. She let Diogenes go too near the fire. His shoes areburned, his hair singed, and his dress scorched. He woke up when Icame in and he was so cross. He acted just the way he does when he iswith his brothers. "

CHAPTER XIII

_Rob's Friend the Reporter_

Silvia's vague prophecy was fulfilled. When the event of the day, thearrival of the stage, occurred, a solitary passenger alighted, a slim, alert, city-cut young woman. 

She looked us all over--not boldly, but with a business-likedirectness as if she were taking inventory of stock, or acting asjudge at a competition. When her blue eyes lighted on Rob, theydarkened with pleasure. 

"Oh, Mr. Rossiter!" she exclaimed, "this is better than I hoped for. "

They shook hands with the air of being old acquaintances, and heintroduced her to us as "Miss Frayne, from my home town. "

She went into the office, registered, and sent her bag to her room. Then she asked Rob if she might have a talk with him. 

They walked away together down to the shore and she was talking to himquite excitedly. Rob suddenly stopped, threw back his head and laughedin the way that it is good to hear a man laugh. 

"Miss Frayne must be a wit, " observed Beth dryly. 

I looked at her keenly. Something in her eyes as she gazed after theretreating couple told me that Silvia's surmise was right, and thatMiss Frayne might be just the little punch needed to send Beth overthe danger point. 

"I rather incline to the belief that Ptolemy told the truth in thefirst place, " she continued, and then looked disappointed because Idid not contradict her. 

I decided not to reveal, for the present anyway, what I knew of MissFrayne, of whom I had often heard Rob speak. 

"She can't be going to stay long, " said Silvia hopefully. "She didn'tbring a trunk. "

"She doesn't need one, " replied Beth. "She is probably one of thosemannish girls who believe in a skirt and a few waists for awardrobe. "

When Rob and the newcomer returned, he seemed to be monopolizing theconversation in a very emphatic and earnest manner. As they came upthe steps to the veranda, we heard her say:

"Very well, Mr. Rossiter, I will do just as you say. I have perfectconfidence in your judgment. "

They passed on into the hotel and Beth jumped up and went down towardthe lake. 

"Did you ever hear Rob speak of this Miss Frayne?" asked Silvia. 

"Often. She is engaged to his cousin, and is a reporter on a bignewspaper. "

"Why didn't you say so? Oh, Lucien, " she continued before I couldspeak, "were you really shrewd enough to see which way the wind wasblowing?"

"Sure. After you set my sails for me last night. "

Just then Rob came out of the hotel. 

"Say, Lucien, I want to see you a minute. Come on down the road. "

"We've got some work ahead, " he said when we were out of Silvia'shearing. 

"What's up?" I asked. 

"Miss Frayne is up--and doing. What do you suppose her paper sent herhere for?"

"For a rest, or to write up the mosquitoes of H. H. "

"H. H. Is all right, only it happens they stand for Haunted House. "

"Not really?"

"Yes, really. The rumors of the house and the ghost, greatlyelaborated, of course, reached the Sunday editor of the paper MissFrayne is on, and he sent her up here to revive the story of themurder, translate the ghost, and get snapshots of the house. She wasquite keen to have me take her there at once, so she could commenceher article, but I headed her off, so she wouldn't discover the summerboarders at the hotel annex. I assured her that daytime was not thetime to gather material and the only way she could get a proper focuson the ghost and acquire the thrills necessary for an inspiration wasto see the place first by night. "

"If she would view Fair Melrose aright, " I quoted, "she must visit itin the pale moonlight, but you were very clever to delay her visitlong enough for us to get over there and warn the enemy. If she hadgone down there and caught the Polydores unawares, she would have comeback here and revealed our secret, and there would be the end ofSilvia's vacation. "

"To tell the truth, Lucien, I wasn't thinking so much of that as I wasof Miss Frayne's interests. You see she has come a long ways for astory and if it collapsed from her ghostly expectations to a showdownof four healthy boys, the blow might mean a good deal to her in abusiness way. I think we had better let Ptolemy plant a ghost justonce more for her. You know you made him take a reef in the flappingof ghostly garments. Can't we resurrect the specter and restore thewails just for tonight, and bring her over here at the witchinghour?"

"Sure we will, " I agreed heartily. "She shall have her ghost and allthe trappings. It will give the Polydores the time of their lives. "

"Let's go over there now and put Ptolemy next so he can get busy onhis spirits. " We went down to the shore and pulled off. Midway acrossthe lake, Rob suddenly rested on his oars and asked:

"Where did Beth go?"

"Back to first principles, " I replied. "She thinks, judging from yourexcited, earnest manner in addressing Miss Frayne and your rushingfrantically away for a walk with her before she had removed the traveldust, that Ptolemy was quite correct, after all, in declaring you tobe a 'ladies' man. '"

"Didn't you explain to her who Miss Frayne was?" he asked. 

"No, " I replied. "I am on my vacation and I am not doing anyexplaining, professionally or otherwise. "

He swung the boat around. 

"Starboard!" I cried. "Don't you know a trump card when you see it?"

Again he rested on his oars and stared at me. 

"What do you mean, Lucien? If you have a grain of hope for me, pleaselet me in. "

I repeated Silvia's theories. 

"I am not going to win her that way, " he said slowly, "not by playinga part. "

"Well, " I declared, "if you go back to the hotel now, you can'texplain Miss Frayne to Beth, because she went for a walk with oldProfessor Treadtop. "

He turned the boat again. 

"Silvia won't come to the Haunted House, will she?" he asked. 

"No, indeed. Nothing would induce her to. "

"Then you bring Miss Frayne here tonight and I'll bring Beth. And I'llbe sure that there are no double boats lying around loose. I'll havetwo at the dock, see?"

"I see your system, " I replied, "but I am not sure how I can explainMiss Frayne to Silvia. Silvia is not in the least narrow-minded, butstill to leave the hotel at midnight with a perfectly strange youngwoman--"

"You can tell her I want a clear field for Beth. She will see it is ina good cause. "

The Polydores greeted us rapturously and roughly. When I had restoredorder, and they were once more right side up, I addressed the chief ofthe bandits. 

"Ptolemy, " I began, "a young lady, who is a reporter for a bignewspaper, has come from many miles away to write up the haunted houseand the ghost, and they will be pictured out in the Sunday edition. "

Ptolemy's eyes glistened, and "Them Three" were instantly "atattention. "

"Oh, say, stepdaddy, " begged the young chief, "let me play ghost rightfor her, just once, will you?"

"You may for tonight, " I said, "but you will have to be very carefuland not overdo the matter, for she isn't the kind that is easilyfooled. She's had to keep her eyes and wits sharpened, else shewouldn't be on a newspaper, so I want you to be very careful and notbungle. Make a neat job of it. "

"I'll do it up brown, you bet!" he cried gleefully. 

"Naw, do it up white, " drawled Pythagoras. 

"Show me your ghost stuff by daylight, " I demanded, "and let me seehow you are going to rig him up. "

He brought forth a head and shoulders and arms that were ghastly evenin sunlight, and proceeded to explain them. 

"I got this skull out of father's study, and the arms came off askeleton mother had in her antiquities. I dressed them up in a pillowcase and the white cotton gloves are Huldah's. I can get somephosphorus in the woods and put it in the eyes. And Demetrius boughttwo electric flashlights yesterday, and Pythagoras can snap them oncein a while from the lower windows. "

"You are some little property man, " said Rob in admiration. "But tellme who produces those heart-rending shrieks?"

"That was Pythagoras who did the high ones. And Em came in with lowgroans. Show 'em, boys. "

Pythagoras uttered high-trebled, thin-toned whines and ever and anonEmerald added a _basso profundo_ accompaniment, making a combinationthat was most trying to the ears at close range. 

"I don't know, " said Rob, "as I want Beth subjected to such arealistic performance. We will loiter in the distance. "

"Your rehearsal, " I assured Ptolemy, "is very good, but you mustremember that Miss Frayne is used to encountering things far moreterrible than ghosts. She may insist on coming right in here toinvestigate. Of course, if she does, I can't refuse or she'll think Iam afraid, or else that I put up a fake ghost here, myself. "

"We'll lock the door with a chair, " suggested Emerald. 

"She'll be quite capable of breaking into a little house like this, but I'll keep her back until you have time to haul in your ghost andmake a quick and quiet getaway by a back window. Then another thing, she'll be over here tomorrow morning to take some pictures of thehouse, so by sunrise I want you all to take up your abode in the tentyou have in the woods and stay there until I come and tell you thecoast is clear. "

"We're dead on, " assured Ptolemy. "I'm glad there's going to besomething doing. We're getting tired of being here alone. I had to tieDemetrius up this morning. He was bound to go over to the hotel andsee mudder. "

"Don't one of you dare to make such an attempt, " I said peremptorily. "You keep right on here for a few days. Some of us, either Rob, orBeth and I will drop over every day. If you play your ghost just as Itell you and keep out of sight, I'll bring you over some ice creamtomorrow. "

"Bring me a bigger bat. "

"Bring me a mitt. "

"Bring me a boat, " came in chorus from Ptolemy, Emerald, andDemetrius. 

"What'll you give me to stay here?" asked Pythagoras, who was a bornbargain-driver. 

"I'll give you a licking if you don't stay, " was the only offer hegleaned from me. 

"Be good boys, " adjured the softhearted Rob, "and I'll bring youeverything I can find at the hotel. "

It was long past the luncheon hour when we returned. We found MissFrayne wondering at Rob's sudden disappearance and Beth wasaccordingly mystified. 

I planted myself directly in front of Miss Frayne. 

"May I take you to the haunted house tonight at the yawningchurchyard hour?" I asked. "I am most eminently fitted to be yourguide, for I was the first one of this assembly to see the ghost _intoto_. "

"He saw it over a stone fence, " remarked Rob. 

"Indeed you may, thank you very much, " she said enthusiastically. 

Silvia's face was a study. 

"And will you come with me, Beth?" asked Rob. "Of course, the ghost isan old story to us, but we really should hover in Lucien's wake out ofregard to the conventions. "

"Is Miss Frayne interested in ghosts?" asked Beth. 

Miss Frayne turned and answered the question. 

"Not personally, " she admitted frankly, "but the newspaper I am on is, and they sent me up here to get a story. "

"Oh, you are a reporter?"

"Yes; on the _Times_. "

"She won't be one long, though, " asserted Rob cheerfully, "because sheis going to marry my cousin in the fall. "

Beth's expression remained neutral at the announcement, but I noticedthroughout the afternoon that she was extremely affable toward MissFrayne, and that she had the whiphand again with Rob, and meanwhile heseemed to be gathering a grim determination to do or die. 

"Lucien, how did you come to ask Miss Frayne to go to that awful placetonight?" asked Silvia when we had gone to our room for a siesta, which seemed impossible by reason of the bellowing of Diogenes, whobalked at being required to lie down. 

"Rob asked me to, " I informed her, when I had cowed Diogenes, "so hecould have a free field for Beth. I believe he planned thisexpedition so he could storm the citadel. "

She reflected. 

"Well, maybe he is wise. Girls like Beth have to be taken by stormsometimes. I shouldn't wonder if Rob could be a bit of a bully, too, but--"

She ended her speculations in a shriek. 

"Oh, Lucien! Diogenes has jumped out the window. "

We rushed down stairs, Silvia informing the guests in transit of theawful catastrophe. 

Silvia paused at the door opening on to the veranda. 

"I can't see him, " she said faintly, closing her eyes. "You'll have totend to it alone, Lucien. "

Beth was already at the telephone, which connected with the countrydoctor's. Rob joined me. We located our window, and began huntingunderneath for the pieces. 

"Where in the world do you suppose he landed?" asked Rob. 

Just then the missing one came around the house clasping a bolognasausage in his fist. 

"Ye Gods and little Polydores!" exclaimed Rob. 

I caught Diogenes by the arm and rushed him in to Silvia. 

I found her in company with an old colored mammy, who was laundressfor the hotel. 

"Sho', " she was saying, "I done gwine by de windah with ma baby cabfull o' cloes, an' dis yer white chile done come tumblin' down an'fall right in ma cab. Now, what do you think o' dat? I reckon I wasnevah so done clean skeert afoah in ma life. An' ef de chile didn'tgrab one of ma bolognas and done git out de cab an' run around dehouse. "

"Oh, " cried Silvia, "poor little baby! Come to mudder. Lucien, whereare you going with him?"

I had picked up the acrobatic Polydore and was going up the stairs twoat a time. I gained our room, locked the door and proceeded to givethe "poor little baby" all that was coming to him. Now and then abovehis howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive protests outside the door, but Ifinished my job completely and satisfactorily, and laid the penitentPolydore in his little bed. Then I went out into the hall, feelingbetter than I had in months. 

Silvia essayed to pass me, but I took her arm and led her to a recessin the hall. 

"I am convinced, " I told her, "that we have Diogenes as a permanentpensioner on our hands, so it was up to me to show him where to getoff. You can't go to him for a quarter of an hour. "

We went down stairs and I was sure I read suppressed regret in thefaces of most of the guests at learning of the soft place in whichDiogenes' lot had been cast. Silvia tearfully told Rob and Beth of mycruelty. 

[Illustration: Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintiveprotests outside the door]

"Do him good!" approved Rob heartily. 

"How mean men are!" declared Beth indignantly. "I am going up andcomfort the poor little thing. "

I held up the key to the room with a grin, and she had to contentherself by making unkind remarks about me. 

At the expiration of the allotted time, I handed Silvia the key. Shetook it from me without a word or a look. It was quite evident I wasin wrong. 

In half an hour my wife came down, carrying Diogenes, who, dressed infresh white clothes, was a good picture of an angel child. She passedme and went to a remote corner of the veranda and sat down. When hespied me, he leaped from her arms and ran to me. 

"Ocean, " he said propitiatingly, "me love oo. "

I took him up. His arms clasped about my neck, and over his curlyhead, I winked at Silvia and Beth. 

Rob roared. 

CHAPTER XIV

_A Midnight Excursion_

The night was Satan's own: dark, wind-shrieking, and Polydorish. Noone saw us leave the hotel when, at a late hour, we started on ourlittle excursion. On account of the darkness and the poor landing nearthe haunted house, we decided to go by the overland route. I managedto purloin a lantern from the kitchen to light our path. 

Rob and Beth kept behind Miss Frayne and myself, and in spite of thewildness of the weather, he was evidently pleading his suit, for nowand then above the roar of the wind, I heard his ardent voice. Apparently Beth had not yet given him any encouragement. 

Going down the lane my lantern underwent a total eclipse, so we had aJordan-like road to travel. Miss Frayne was quite impervious tounfavorable conditions, as it was a matter of bread and butter to her, she said, and she was accustomed to braving worse storms than this, and anyway she hadn't come here for a summer picnic. 

When we came into the grove it was so dark, I lost my bearings. 

"Why didn't we bring a flashlight?" asked Beth. 

"There were none at the hotel, " I told her. 

"I know some boys, " said Rob with a little laugh, "who would have lentus one--maybe. "

Fortunately we were well provided with safety matches and afterstriking a box or so, we gained the open. A rise of ground hid thehouse, but when we climbed to the top, the ghost loomed up ghastlierthan ever. 

I felt the business-like Miss Frayne start and shiver as a littlescream escaped her. I didn't wonder. Even I, knowing that it was anillusion and a snare, felt my flesh creeping as I looked at theghastly thing in the window. 

Every now and then according to schedule a light flashed from thewindows below. And then came the blood-curdling sounds--whimpers andgroans that were rivaling the whistling of the wind. 

"This is awful!" said Miss Frayne in a hoarse whisper. 

"Do you want to go inside the house?" I asked. 

"No--o! I couldn't. Not tonight. "

We were some little in advance of Rob and Beth. When one spectralsound came like a tense whisper, Miss Frayne turned and fled, and ofcourse I followed her. We could not see our two companions, butsuddenly in an interim of wind and ghost whispers, we heard Beth say:

"Yes, Rob. I think we should really be cosier in a story-and-a-halfcottage than we should in a bungalow. "

"Ye Gods!" muttered Miss Frayne, "did he propose in the face of thatawful Thing?"

"Ship ahoy!" I called. 

"Oh, didn't you go inside?" asked Rob. 

"Go in! I wouldn't go inside that place; not if I lose my job on thepaper. What can it be? You don't seem to mind it, Miss Wade. "

"Well, you know, " said Beth apologetically, "this is my thirdperformance. "

We were now down the hill out of sight of the gruesome, ghastly windowdisplay, and Miss Frayne gained courage as we retreated. 

"Of course I don't believe in ghosts, " she said, "but what do yousuppose that is?"

"I had a theory, " I said, "that it is the work of a lunatic, but I'vesince concluded it is due to practical jokers. I'll tell you what I'lldo. If you wait here, I'll investigate and see what I can find out foryou. "

"Oh, would you really dare, Mr. Wade? I don't believe men ever havecreepy nerves, " she exclaimed. 

I began to feel ashamed of my deception. 

"I wouldn't go, Lucien, " warned Rob, coming to my rescue. "There maybe a gang of desperadoes in there, or counterfeit money-makers, orsomething of that kind. Besides, I have a far more interesting pieceof news than anything the ghost could give you. "

"Rob!" protested Beth. 

"We know it already, " I laughed. "It's to be a story-and-a-halfhigh. "

"I think I am getting material for quite a story, " declared MissFrayne. 

I knew Beth's dislike of scenes and display of emotions--mockheroics--she called them, so I made no congratulatory speeches of thebless-you-my-children order, but presently under the cover ofdarkness, I felt a little hand slipped in mine, and my clasp waseloquent of what I felt. 

"I hope, " said Miss Frayne, "that daylight will make me so ashamed ofmy cowardice that I can come down here and take some pictures and goinside the house. "

"We'll all come with you, " promised Beth. "There's safety innumbers. "

When we were back at the hotel I managed to have a few words with Robbefore we went upstairs. 

"Bless the ghost!" he said cheerily. "When Beth first glimpsed it, shejust turned and fell into my arms. She was really frightened for thefirst time. I shall feel under obligations to Ptolemy for alifetime. "

"Thank goodness!" I ejaculated fervently, "that I am under noobligations to a Polydore. Ptolemy certainly did put up the mostghastly thing in the way of ghosts. The lights in the eyes of theskeleton were frightful. "

"Did you see the ghost?" asked Silvia sleepily, when I came in. 

"Yes; same old ghost, only more of him, " I assured her. 

She was asleep before I had uttered this reply. 

"Silvia, " I said, "I have a more startling piece of news for you thanthat. "

She sat bolt upright. 

"Are they engaged, Lucien?"

"They are. They are building their castle--I mean their story-and-a-halfcottage already. "

Alas for my own desire to sleep! I had so effectually awakened Silviathat she planned Beth's trousseau, the wedding, honeymoon, and thefurnishing of their house before she subsided. 

CHAPTER XV

_What Miss Frayne Found Out_

We had planned to go to the haunted house at nine o'clock the nextmorning, but owing to my dissipation of the night before, it was longafter the appointed hour when Silvia awoke me. 

I hurried down stairs and ate my breakfast in solitude. I inquired forBeth and Rob, but the waitress told me they had left the dining-roomat seven o'clock and gone for a walk in the woods. She said it with aknowing smile that told me she, too, must be a "sister of the GoldenCircle. "

"And Miss Frayne?" I asked. 

"She went down the road over an hour ago. "

Evidently her courage had come up with the sun. I was greatlydisturbed at the chance of her stumbling over one or more Polydores, and Rob didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until her articlewas written, as he believed that if the ghostly spell were broken, shewould lose her "punch. "

I was unable to think of any plausible explanation to offer Silvia asto why I should start in pursuit, and I wished all sorts of direcalamities on Rob's blond head. Lovers were surely blind and selfish. 

About ten o'clock they came strolling in. 

"We didn't know it was so late, " said Beth cheerfully, "but the boyswill keep in the woods all right. "

"With her nose for news, there is no telling how far into the woodsMiss Frayne's investigation will take her. "

"Say we go down by the lane and meet her, " proposed Beth, "so that ifshe has run across the boys we can explain to her why we desiresecrecy from Silvia. "

"You and Rob go, " I advised. "It would seem odd to Silvia if we didn'task her to go with us. "

So the newly engaged couple started down the road, but in theirself-absorption they didn't notice the turn to the lane, and they gothalf way to Windy Creek before they came back to earth and the hotel. Miss Frayne still had not shown up, and I began to have misgivingslest the Polydores had locked her up in the house, but finally just aswe were having a happy family gathering and discussing the new eventunder the shade of the one resort tree, she came excitedly up to us. 

"Such an interesting morning as I have had!" she exclaimedenthusiastically. "I made some corking pictures of the place, and I'vefound out about not only that ghost, but all ghosts--the whole race ofghosts. "

I hurriedly interrupted her and made elaborate and jumbled apologiesfor not keeping our engagement, which evidently bored her andmystified Silvia. 

"I am glad I went alone, " she finally replied. "Otherwise I might nothave got such an interesting interview. "

Beth, Rob, and I made frantic and appealing gestures to her behindSilvia's back, but she didn't seem to notice them. 

"Whom did you interview, the ghost?" asked Silvia. 

"No, indeed. Some very interesting and unusual people who are stayingthere. "

I threw her a wildly beseeching glance and Beth and Rob began at thesame time to ply her with distracting questions. I think she seemed todivine that there was something in the situation that was not to beexplained, but Silvia interrupted them. 

"Do let Miss Frayne tell us about her interview, " she said. "We allseem to be very talkative today. "

I saw there was no way to dodge the dénouement, so I awaited thefinale in dread desperation. It proved to be more of a stunner than Ihad expected. 

"I went down the lane, " she said, "and through the grove, up thelittle hill, and laughed at myself for the hallucinations of the nightbefore. There were no ghosts visible and the door to the hauntedhouse was hospitably open. I stood on the hill long enough to makesome pictures and then went on. I walked up the steps fearlessly andlooked within. A woman, an untidy, disheveled-looking woman, sat at atable writing furiously in just the same breathless way I write when Ihave a scoop, and the presses are waiting open-mouthed for my copy. 

"She looked up and scowled at my intrusion. 

"'Don't bother me, ' she said, and continued writing. 

"I went through the house and came outside again where I met anabsent-minded, spectacled man. I told him who I was and of my objectin coming to the house. Then he showed signs of coming to. 

"'Oh, the ghost!' he said. 'That is what brought me here. My wife isinterested in more tangible, more material things. We have justreturned from a long journey, and when we were nearly to ourdestination, our place of residence, I happened to read in a paperabout this haunted house and its apparition, so we came right up herethis morning to remain overnight and see if the article were true. '

"I told him how successful I had been and he became quite alert andenthusiastic. He showed me why I should not have been alarmed, becauseghosts, he said, were scientific facts. He then explained to me atlength how the gases from the dead arise and form a nebulous vapor ora vaporous nebula. It sounded very simple and plausible when he toldme, but I can't seem to remember it. Fortunately I have it all down inwriting. "

Silvia's eyes and mine had met in speechless horror since she hadmentioned the "writing woman. "

"Lucien!" Silvia now said in a tragic, hoarse whisper--"thePolydores!"

"Oh, do you know them?" asked Miss Frayne. "Dr. Felix Polydore, theeminent LL. D. Or something like that. "

"The whole family are D's, " I said. 

"His wife is the highest of high-brows, and they are averse tointerviews. They moved to a small city sometime ago to be secluded. Just think of my opportunity! I have them headlined! 'The HauntedHouse of Hope Haven. Ghost that appears at midnight scientificallyexplained by the distinguished Dr. Felix Polydore. '"

"I think we are in luck, " I said to Silvia, on second thoughts. "Wewill take them home by the nape of the neck and deliver their childreninto their keeping to have and to hold. "

"I can't turn Diogenes over to them, " she said plaintively. 

"Diogenes!" repeated Miss Frayne in astonishment. 

I then narrated to her the history of our next-door neighbors, and howthey planted their five children upon us. 

"We had better go down at once and see them, " said Silvia, "beforethey escape. No telling where they might take it in their heads togo. "

"We will, " I said, "we'll go soon after luncheon. "

"Thrice blessed haunted house, " quoted Rob. "It gave me Beth, and ithas restored the parents of the wise Ptolemy and 'Them Three. '"

"And gave me a ripping story, " said Miss Frayne. 

Just then the gong sounded, and after luncheon while I was comfortablytipped back in a chair, my feet on the veranda rail, seeing in thesmoke from my pipe dream visions of Polydoreless days, a faint cryfrom Silvia brought me back to earth. 

"Lucien, look!"

I looked. 

My chair came down to all fours and my feet slipped from the rail. 

CHAPTER XVI

_Ptolemy's Tale_

Four defiant, determined-looking Polydores came up the steps and boredown upon us. Then Silvia as usual thought she saw land ahead. 

"Oh, boys, " she asked hopefully, "did your father send for you to meethim here? And when is he going to take you home?"

"Didn't I tell you, " I thundered at Ptolemy, "that you were not toleave that house--"

"It left us, " interrupted Emerald with a grin. 

"Went up in smoke, " added Pythagoras blithely, "ghost and all. "

"Four minutes quicker, " said Demetrius, "and it would have took fatherand mother, too. "

"Oh, is it the haunted house they are talking about?" asked MissFrayne joyfully. "What a story I'll have!"

Life to Miss Frayne seemed to be one story after another. Well, it wascertainly becoming the same way to us. 

"Did the ghost set fire to the house?" asked Beth. 

"What are you all talking about, " demanded Silvia, "and how did youknow these boys were there? How long have you been here?" she asked, turning to Ptolemy. 

"I told you, " I repeated angrily to the subdued boy, "not to leave. Those were plain orders. If the house did burn up, you could havestayed in your tent in the woods. "

Ptolemy's lips twitched faintly. 

"The house burned up and all our clothes and our stuff to eat, and ourbats and things, and father and mother went away and I didn't knowwhat to do, so--I came here. But we'll go back to our own house. Wehave learned to cook. Come on, boys. "

"You'll stay right here with me, son, " and Rob's hand came downintimately on Ptolemy's shoulder. 

"It isn't likely we'll turn them out into the woods, when they haven'ta roof over their heads, " declared Silvia, drawing Emerald to herside. 

"I think you are absolutely inhuman, Lucien, " cried Beth. "I don't seewhat has changed you so, " and she proceeded to make room forPythagoras in the porch swing. 

"Did the fire scare you?" asked Miss Frayne gently, as she put herarms about Demetrius. 

"Et tu, Brute? Well, I plainly see this is no place for an inhuman, childless, married man, " I said with a laugh, walking down theveranda. 

In the doorway I met Diogenes, who raised his chubby arms invitingly. 

"Up, up, Ocean!" he begged sweetly. 

I lifted him to my shoulder, and then turned and walked triumphantlyback to the family group. 

"Now, " I said, "here is the whole d-dashed family. And I propose thateach keep unto his charge the child he has now under his wing. "

Miss Frayne quickly relinquished the dirty Demetrius. Beth shrank awayfrom Pythagoras. 

As I seated myself still holding Diogenes, his brothers sprang towardhim in greeting, but he spat at one, kicked at another, and pulled thehair of a third, although he patted Ptolemy's cheek gently. 

"Now, we'll have this affair thrashed out, " I declared in my mostauthoritative, professional manner, and I then proceeded to explain toSilvia the housing of the Polydores, and our strategies to keep theirarrival a secret simply on her account. 

"Because you know, " interpolated Beth, with a consideration for thefeelings of the young Polydores--a consideration they had never beforeencountered--"we wanted you to have a nice rest. "

Silvia looked quite penitent and remorseful for her seeming lack ofappreciation of our combined efforts. When I had answered all herinquiries satisfactorily, Miss Frayne's curiosity regarding theprogeny of the eminent Polydores had to be fully relieved. 

"And do you mean that the scribbling lady I saw at the table is reallythe mother of these five boys?" she asked, unable to grasp the fact. 

"Yes; and the father hereof is the man who explained the ghosts to youso scientifically that you cannot remember what he said. Now, Ptolemy, we'll hear your story of the fire and the whereabouts of your parents. Take your time and tell it accurately. "

"Well, you see we did just as you said to, and took the ghost out ofthe window and went out to the woods early this morning so as not tolet the paper lady see us. "

"Oh!" cried Miss Frayne, "am I the paper lady? I begin to seedaylight. Are these boys the ghost perpetrators, and were you in onthe put-up job?"

"You're a good guesser, " I replied. 

"And why wasn't I taken into your confidence?"

"For two reasons. First, because your friend Rob said you'd get betterresults for copy--more inspirations and thrills, if you weren't behindthe scenes on the ghost business, --and then we didn't want to tell youabout the presence of the Polydores lest inadvertently you betray thefact to my wife. Now, proceed, Ptolemy. "

"After we were in the woods, I heard an automobile coming down thelane, and I went up near the edge of the woods and peeked out behind atree, and pretty soon I saw father and mother come over the hill andgo in our haunted house, so I came up there and hid under the windowand heard mother say: 'What an ideal place to write this is. It looksas if I might really get a chance to write unmo--'

"'--lested, '" I finished for him. 

"I guess so, " he allowed. "Well, she began writing, so I didn't go in, but when father came outside I went up to him and told him you andmudder were at the hotel and that we were all with you. He told methey came up here to write an article for some big magazine about theghost. He hired an automobile down at Windy Creek to bring them up tothe house and the man was going to come back for them tomorrowmorning. I didn't let on the ghost was a fake, because I thought he'dbe so disappointed to have all his trouble for nothing, and he'd bemad at me for swiping his skull. I told him a paper lady was comingand then I went back to the woods. He went down with me to see theboys, and he said he would come back and have lunch with us. Motherdoesn't ever stop to eat at noon when she is writing. 

"He went back and talked to the paper lady and pretty soon he camedown and ate with us. I told him all about how we couldn't get anygirl to do the work for us and so we had been living with you, and howDi got sick and mudder was all worn out taking care of him and camedown here to rest, and that you wouldn't cash the check, so I did andwas spending it and he said that was all right. " Here Ptolemy flashedme a most triumphant glance. 

"He said you must be paid for all your expense and trouble, so he madeout a check and gave it to me and told me to make mudder a nicepresent. He ain't so bad when he ain't thinking about dead stuff. Whenhe felt in his pocket for his check book, he found a letter he had gotyesterday and forgotten to open, so he read it then and found it wasfrom some magazine, and the man said he'd pay his and mother'sexpenses to go to Chili and write up some stuff about--something. Sofather said they must go at once. "

"Not to Chili!" I exclaimed. 

"Yes; we all went up to the house with him and I took mother's penciland paper away so she would have to listen. She was wild for Chili, and I had to go and hunt up a farmer who had a machine to take themdown to Windy Creek. Father signed another blank check for you andsaid you could board us with it or do anything you thought best. 

"Then mother took a lot of papers out of her bag, some stuff she hadwritten and didn't get suited with, and she stuffed them in the stoveand set fire to them. Then we all went down to the lane to see fatherand mother off and when we got back the house was on fire. The chimneyburned out. "

"Guess mother must have written some hot stuff, " said Emerald. 

"It was burning so fast, " continued Ptolemy, "that we didn't dast goin to save anything and all our food and clothes and balls and batsand fishing tackle are gone, and we didn't know what to do, or what toeat, and so--we came here. "

"You did just right, Ptolemy, " I admitted. "I shouldn't have calledyou down--not until I heard your story, anyway. "

I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an injured air. 

"Do you mean to tell me, " asked Miss Frayne, "that your father andmother went away without seeing the baby?"

Ptolemy flushed a little. 

"You see, " he explained apologetically, "mother gets woolly when shewrites and she's forgotten there's Di. She thinks Demetrius is theyoungest. She's mad about writing. If she sees a blank paperanywhere, she ain't happy until she has written something on it, andthe sight of a pencil makes her fingers itch. "

[Illustration: I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with aninjured air]

"Take warning, Miss Frayne, " I said, "and don't get too literary. "

"Some day, " resumed Ptolemy, "mother'll get the antiques all out ofher system and then she'll remember us. "

I liked the boy's defense of his mother, and I began to see that Robwas right in thinking there were possibilities in the lad, but it wasSilvia's influence that had developed them, for in the days when heborrowed soup plates of us, there had been no redeeming trait that Icould discern. 

And while I was recalling this, I heard Silvia saying to him kindly:"And in the meantime, I'll be 'mudder' to you. "

"So will I, " chimed in Beth. 

"I'll be a big brother, " offered Rob. 

"I'll be next friend, Ptolemy, " I contributed. 

Strange to say, my offer seemed to make the most impression on him. Hecame to me and gazed into my eyes earnestly. 

"I'll do just as you say, " he promised. 

"Where do we'uns come in?" asked Pythagoras, with one of his satanicgrins. 

Miss Frayne saved the day. 

"You all come in with me, " she said, "and have lunch. I haven't eatensince breakfast, and I understand there is warm ginger cake andhuckleberry pie. Aren't you hungry?"

"You bet, " spoke up Pythagoras. "We only had coffee, peanuts, andbeans down in the woods, and father ate the beans and drank all thecoffee. "

"We're out of the frying pan into the fire, " said Silvia woefully, when we were alone. 

"I wish the Polydore parents had gone up in smoke, " I declared. 

"Then your last hope of getting rid of the children would have gone upin smoke, too, " argued Beth. 

"No; in case of the demise of their parents, we could have turned themover body and soul to the probate court, " I informed her. 

"We will fill out this blank check for any amount, Lucien, " declaredSilvia, "that will induce a housekeeper to take charge of their house. I shall keep Diogenes, though, until he is older. "

"I wouldn't mind Ptolemy, either, " I admitted. "I shall be interestedin seeing what I can make of him, and he hasn't a bad influence overDiogenes, but I'll be hanged if anything would induce me to have 'ThemThree' Chessy cats running wild over us. They can live in their housealone, or be put in a reformatory. We won't have them. We're under noobligations, pecuniary or moral, to look after them. "

"I think, Lucien, we might as well go home now. We've had a good restand a good time, and I am anxious to be back and see how Huldah isgetting on. "

As Huldah had never mastered two of the three R's, we had not beenable to receive any reports from her. 

"I'll tell you what we'll do, " proposed Beth. "Rob and I will take allthe Polydores save Diogenes, and go home tomorrow and prepare thehouse and Huldah for the overflow. Then you two can come on withDiogenes the next day. "

"Good idea, Beth!" I approved. "I'd hate to face Huldah, unprepared, with the return of the Polydores _en masse_. "

"I am glad, " said Silvia, "that Huldah has been having a rest fromthem for a few days. "

CHAPTER XVII

_All About Uncle Issachar's Visit_

The next morning's stage carried seven passengers to Windy Creek, asMiss Frayne with a big roll of "copy" also took her departure. 

Diogenes had been quite docile and amenable to my rule since thelicking I gave him, so we had a pleasant and comfortable returnjourney on the following day. 

"I hope, Lucien, " said Silvia, "you won't refuse to cash this checkfor a good amount. The Polydore parents may never show up, and it'sonly right we should be reimbursed for their keep. "

"I will cash it, " I assured her, "and use it for a housekeeper or elsesend the boys off to a school. I should like very much to have it outwith Felix Polydore, but, as you suggest, I may never have theopportunity to see him at close range. "

Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy met us at the station. 

"Where are 'Them Three'?" I asked hopefully. 

"Huldah is feeding them little pies hot from the kettle--the kind shecooks like doughnuts, you know. "

"Huldah cooking for 'Them Three'!" I exclaimed. "She must have passedinto her second childhood. She grudged them even an apple to pieceon. "

"She has pampered them ever since our return, " said Rob. 

"Poor Huldah! She must indeed be afflicted with softening of thebrain, " I decided. 

"She has probably been so lonely, shut in here by herself, " saidSilvia, "that even 'Them Three' looked good to her. "

In the hallway Huldah met us. She was beaming with pleasure, butexcept in her bearing toward the children, she was quite normal. 

"We've all had a real good rest, " she observed, "and you do look sowell, Mrs. Wade. My! but this place has been lonesome. I'm glad we'reall together again. "

"Now, Silvia, shut your eyes, " directed Beth, "and come into thelibrary. Ptolemy has bought you a present with the check his fathergave him. "

"Beth helped me pick it out, " said Ptolemy. 

Beth led the way into the library, and we followed. 

"Open your eyes. "

Silvia gave a little cry of pleasure, and looking over her shoulder, Ibeheld a baby grand piano. 

"Oh, Ptolemy!" she cried, giving him a fervent kiss and fond hug, "Ican never let you do so much. "

"Oh, yes, " he said, flushing a little under the endearments which weredoubtless the first ever bestowed upon him. "Father's got a whole lotof money grandpa left him and it's fixed so he can't draw out only somuch each year. He said the board and bother of us was worth more thanthis and we'll all enjoy the music. But Thag and Em and Dem ain't totouch it. I'll knock tar out of the first one that comes near it. "

I was disconsolate. I didn't see how we could return it and I didn'twant the Polydore web woven any tighter. To think of Silvia'sreceiving from them what it had been my longing to give her! But as Iwas to learn later, she was to acquire much more than a piano from theeminent family. 

After dinner Silvia asked Huldah to come in and hear the music, andwhen Silvia's repertoire was exhausted, we gave our faithful servantall the little details of our trip which Beth had not supplied. 

"Now tell us, Huldah, how things went along here, " said Silvia. 

"Well, you think some wonderful things happened to you all on yourtrip mebby--ghosts and proposals, " looking at Beth and Rob, "and firesand Polydores, but back here in this quiet house something happenedthat has your ghosts and things skinned by a mile. "

"Oh, dear!" cried Silvia apprehensively, "what is it?"

"Break it very gently, Huldah, " I cautioned. "You know we've borne agood deal. "

"Your uncle Issachar was here for a couple of days. "

She certainly had made a sensation. 

"Not Uncle Issachar! Not here?" exclaimed Silvia incredulously. 

"Yes, ma'am. He came the next day after Beth and Mr. Rossiter andPolly left. I told him you'd gone away for a little vacation and rest. I didn't let on that I knew where you had gone, because I didn't wanthim straggling up there, too, or sending for you to come back. He saidyour absence would make no difference to his plans; that he never letnothing do that. He come to pay a visit and he should pay one. "

"Yes, " said Silvia feebly. "That sounds like Uncle Issachar. "

"I told him to make himself perfectly at home; that every one did thatto this place, and he said he would. I'd just slicked up the big frontroom upstairs and I seen to it that he had everything all right. Icooked the best dinner I knew how, and he said it was the first whiteman's meal he had eat since his ma died, so I found out what she usedto cook and fed him on it. Them three kids and him eat like they washoller. I guess if Polly hadn't took them away your grocery bill would'a looked like Barb'ry Allen's grave. 

"Well, as I was saying, your uncle he eat till he got over hisgrouches, and like enough he'd be here eating yet, if he hadn't got atelegraph to hit the line for home, some big business deal, he said, and I guess it was a great deal, for he licked his chops and smackedhis lips over it, and he give me a ten dollar bill to get a new dressand each of Them Three one dollar fer candy. "

"The old tightwad!" I exclaimed. "It was your cooking, sure, that madehim loosen up that way. "

"Tightwad nothing!" she declared indignantly. "You won't think he wastight-wadded when you read this here letter he left for you. He toldme what was in it, and I've just been busting to tell it to Beth, butI waited for you to know it first. "

With great excitement Silvia opened the letter, read it, gasped, re-read it, and then in consternation handed it to me. 

"Read it aloud, Lucien, " she bade. "Maybe I can believe it then. "

This was the letter. 

 "My dear Niece:

 "I was sorry not to see you, but glad to learn that, as every wise and good woman should do, you are raising a fine family--a family of _sons_, which is what our country most needs. Your son Pythagoras informed me that you had taken your oldest child, Ptolemy, and your youngest, Diogenes, with you, I am glad you left three such promising samples for me to see. 

 "As you have five sons, I have, agreeable to my promise, placed in your name in the First National Bank of your city the sum of twenty-five thousand dollars. 

 "Your affectionate uncle, "Issachar Innes. "

"Huldah, " I asked, "did you tell him the Polydores were ourchildren?"

"Me?" she repeated indignantly. "Me tell a lie like that! No; I didn'tget no chance to tell him anything about them. 'Them Three' done thetelling. The first thing that one"--pointing to Pythagoras--"said was, 'Mudder went away and took the baby, Diogenes, with her. ' And thenthat next one"--indicating Emerald--"said: 'Yes, and our oldestbrother, Ptolemy, went on with Beth to see them. '

"The old gent asked them all their names and ages and he was sopleased and said he thought it was just fine for you to raise fivesons, so I didn't have no heart to tell him no different. 'Twan't noneof my business anyhow. Then 'Them Three' kept talking about stepdaddy, and your Uncle Issachar asks 'Who the devil is he? Did my niece marryagain?' And I told him as how Mr. Wade was all the husband you everhad, and that stepdaddy was nothing but a sort of pet-name the kidshad give Mr. Wade. "

"I told him, " said Demetrius, "that stepdaddy was cross to ussometimes and not as nice as mudder, and he said--"

"You shut up, " commanded Huldah quickly, "and let me talk. "

"No, " I intercepted, "I'd really be interested in hearing what he toldUncle Issachar. What was it, Demetrius, that your great-uncle said toyou?"

"He said, " stated the imp, darting his tongue out in triumph at hisvictory over Huldah, "that he always thought you was a stiff. "

"He didn't say nothing of the kind!" declared Huldah. "He said you wasstiff-necked, and that he presumed you would act more like astepfather than the real thing. Well, as I was saying, he asked theirnames, and he liked them fine. Said they were so classy. "

"Didn't he say classic, Huldah?" inquired Rob. 

"Mebby. What's the difference?" snapped Huldah. 

"None, " I assured her quickly, dodging a definition. 

"She told him--" began Emerald. 

"You shut up, " again adjured Huldah, "or I'll never bake you one ofthose small pies no more. "

"Oh, please, Huldah, " I coaxed. "Let us hear everything. I've alwaystold you my life's secrets, and I don't mind what you or the boys toldhim. "

"Well, I suppose what he was going to tattle was that I thought theold gent might feel hurt, 'cause none of them was named after him, soI told him Polly's middle name was Issachar. "

"Why, Huldah, " remonstrated Silvia. 

"Well, he's always wanted a middle name, and he's never been baptized, so you can stick it in and have him ducked next Sunday and then thatwill square that. 'Them Three' stuck to him like a hive of bees, and Iwas scairt for fear they'd let the cat out of the bag, and so long asthey had put it in, I thought it might just as well stay in, but theywere just as slick as grease in all they said. They'll hang in thatrogues' gallery yet. "

"I suppose they were pretty--strenuous, " said Silvia with a sigh. 

"They was more than that. The first afternoon right after dinner whenhe was sitting on the front porch, sleeping peaceful and snoring, thatthere one--" pointing to Pythagoras--

"Tattle-tale!" he began, but I administered a cuff and he subsidedinto surprised silence. 

[Illustration: "He went to the front window and dropped a young kittendown on the old gent's head. "]

"He, " said Huldah, looking pleased at this little attention to theboy, "went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on theold gent's head. It clawed something fierce. We had just got thingsgoing smooth again when Emmy got one of his earaches. I roasted anonion and put in his ear, and what did he do but take it out of hisear and slip it down your poor uncle's back. "

"Why didn't you beat them?" I asked indignantly. 

"Because the old gent did that. He put 'em across his knee, andbelieve me, it was some licking they caught. They didn't let out awhimper and that pleased him. "

"Huh!" said Emerald. "Thag don't know how to cry. He hasn't got anytears, and old Uncle Iz didn't hurt me, because, you see, when I heardThag getting his, I went and stuffed the Declaration of Independence, that book of stepdaddy's that Demetrius tore the pictures out of, inmy pants. "

"Go on!" urged Rob delightedly. "What else did you all do? Uncle musthave had some time. It would make a fine scenario. 'The first visit ofthe rich uncle. '"

"Well, " resumed Huldah. "One of 'em put red pepper in the old man'sbed, and he like to sneeze his head off, but he said as how sneezingwas healthy, and showed you'd got rid of a cold. "

"He never got on to the pepper, " said Demetrius gleefully. 

"In the morning, that second one put a toad in his new uncle's pocket, and Emmy broke his specs. Then Meetie he dropped his watch. They usedhis razor to cut the lawn with. And then they took him down to thecreek to go fishing, and they put the fish in Uncle's silk hat, andand----"

"Stop!" implored Silvia, who was now in tears. "Uncle Issacharbelieves them mine! Ours! And that I brought them up! Oh, why did weever go away?"

"Oh, pshaw, " exclaimed Huldah comfortingly, "he said you had brungthem up fine; that they were no mollycoddles or Lizzie boys, and hedidn't suppose you had so much sense as to leave them natural. "

"A left-handed one for mudder, " laughed Beth. 

"He must be a very peculiar man--ready for the asylum, I should say, "commented Rob. 

"He would have been if he'd stayed any longer, or else I would havebeen, " declared Huldah. 

"Couldn't you make them behave, someway?" asked Silvia. 

"Well, at first I tried to, and every time I pinched one of 'em whenthe old gent wasn't looking, or knocked 'em down when I got 'em alone, they would threaten to tell who they was, and then when I seen howyour uncle liked the way they acted, I just let 'em go it, head on. And seeing as how they each brung you five thousand, I've treated 'embest I know how. They're worth it, now. They done one thing more thatwas awful. Could you stand it to hear?" turning to Silvia. 

"Please, Silvia, " implored Rob. 

"Well, " argued Silvia faintly. "I suppose we might as well know theworst. "

"You see the old gent didn't always get up to breakfast with the kidsand one morning when I brought in the cakes Emmy looked up andgrinned. I nearly dropped the plate. He had both sets of the old man'sfalse teeth in his mouth. I got 'em back in his room without hiswaking, but I'd have liked a picture of Emmy. "

"Pythagoras, " I demanded, when we had recovered from this recital, "why didn't you tell him who you were, and how you all came to behere with us?"

"Because she is our mudder, and we are going to stay with her, always. We've got a snap. So has father and mother. And Ptolemy told us thatif you ever got any kids, you'd get five thousand each for them, and Ithought we'd just make that much for you. So we played Uncle Iz forit. Easy money, all right, all right. "

"Talk about fine financiering, " quoth Rob. "'Them Three' will surelyland on Wall Street. "

But poor Silvia had no heart for humor and was weeping silently. 

"Why, look here, my dear, " I said in consolation, "this is a verysimple matter to adjust. In the morning when you feel better, justwrite a full explanation of the affair and inclose your check fortwenty-five thousand. "

Silvia quickly wiped away her tears. 

"I'll do it tonight, Lucien. I feel better now. I never thought ofwriting. "

Huldah and "Them Three" looked most lugubrious. 

"The old skinflint won't miss it as much as I would a penny, " declaredour faithful handmaiden. "And I'm sure you've earnt that twenty-fivethousand if anyone ever did. You've had as much care and worry aboutthem brats as you would if they'd been your own. "

"Huldah, " I said severely, "there is a pretty stiff penalty forobtaining money under false pretences. "

"After all the pains we took to make things lively for him, so hewouldn't get bored and think he was having a poor time!" regrettedPythagoras. 

"And us watching every word we spoke so as not to give it away, "wailed Emerald. 

"Cake's all dough, " muttered Demetrius. 

Ptolemy regarded the three disapprovingly. He had the old inscrutablelook, the look that foreboded mischief, in his eyes. 

"You bungled, you fool kids!" he said in disgust, "and Huldah, whatdid you want to let on to mudder for that he thought we was hers? Youought to have torn up the note he left and just said he'd puttwenty-five thousand in the bank for her. "

"Huh! you're just jealous because you weren't in the Uncle Izzy dealyourself, " jeered Pythagoras. "You always think you're the only onethat can do anything right. "

"I wish you had been here, Polly, " said Huldah, "I am sure you couldhave worked it through somehow. "

"I wish I had stayed and put it across, " he answered. "If you and thekids would only learn not to blab everything you know. It's the onlyway to work anything. Minute you tell a thing, it's all off. "

There was still a great deal of development work to be put onPtolemy's moral standard. 

"You'll find, my lad, " remonstrated Rob, "that honesty is the bestpolicy. "

"I'd have been perfectly honest about it, " he defended. "I would havetold him the truth, and how our parents had deserted us, and howmudder took us in when we were homeless and was bringing us up likeher own because she hadn't got any, and how stepdaddy wanted to turnus out, and she wouldn't let him, and then he would have decidedagainst stepdaddy and given mudder the money so she could keep us. "

"Ptolemy, " I said warningly, "there is a way of telling the truth, orrather of coloring white lies with enough truth to make them deceive, that is more dishonorable than an out and out lie. "

"Tell me, Ptolemy, " asked Silvia, "how did you know about that offerof five thousand dollars for each child?"

"I overheard it, " he said guardedly; "but I can't remember where. "

"He heard me say so, " confessed Huldah. 

"It was when he first come here and he was making us so much trouble, and I told him it was too bad we had to have other folks' brats aroundwhen, if we only had our own, they'd be bringing in something. "

The recital now broke up and Silvia sat down to write a longexplanatory letter to Uncle Issachar. The next morning I procured hera check from the First National Bank and she filled it out. 

"Oh!" she said with indrawn breath, when she had asked me how to writetwenty-five thousand dollars, "I never expected to be able to sign myname to a check for such an amount. "

"You never will again, I fear, " was my sad prophecy. 

"It must feel rich, " said Beth, "just to have a large check passthrough your fingers. "

"Them Three" came the nearest to tears that they were able to do. 

"We worked so hard for it, " they sighed. 

"So did I!" muttered Huldah. 

"I couldn't live a double life, " declared Silvia. 

CHAPTER XVIII

_In Which I Decide on Extreme Measures_

Everyone in our house, which was now filled to overflowing--in fact, there were Polydores on sofas and in beds on the floor--save Silviaand myself, was on the alert for a response to the letter during thesucceeding few days. Knowing Uncle Issachar, we felt sure he wouldmake no response, or notice the matter in any way save to cash thecheck promptly. 

The monotony was somewhat relieved by the difficulties under whichBeth and Rob were pursuing their courtship. On the third eveningsucceeding our return, Silvia and I started upstairs early to givethem a chance to have the exclusive use of the library, the Polydoreshaving all been sent to bed. As we were making some plausible excusefor going to our room, Beth remarked with a smile:

"Your motive in retiring so early is commendable, but of no particularbenefit to Rob and me. The Polydores, like the poor, we always havewith us. "

"I saw that every one of them except Ptolemy was in bed at eighto'clock last night and the night before, " said Silvia. "You don't meanto tell me--"

"Yes, I do mean, " laughed Beth. "Not Ptolemy, though. He has becometoo dignified to spy on us, but last night as we sat here on thesettee, we heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald fromunderneath. "

"How in the world did he ever squeeze under there?" I asked, gazing atthe slight space between the floor and settee. 

[Illustration: "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald fromunderneath. "]

"He did look a little flattened, as if he had been put in a letterpress, " said Rob. "I gave him a dime to go to bed and stay there. Bethand I had just resumed our conversation when a still, small voicesaid: 'I'll go to bed for a dime, too. ' I then hauled Demetrius frombehind the davenport. "

"And the night before, " said Beth, "when we were sitting on the porch, Pythagoras rolled off the roof, where he had been listening to us, andcame down into the vines. "

"Now I'll stop that, " I declared. "I'll tie them in their beds andlock the doors and windows. "

"No, " refused Rob. "I'd like to try to circumvent them by their ownweapons of wits. I have a little plan which I don't dare whisper toyou lest their long-range ears get in their work. We are just about tostart for a walk. "

"In this pouring rain!" protested Silvia. 

"We like the rain, " he replied, "and we--are not going far. "

Pythagoras entered the room just then and looked astounded anddisappointed when he saw Beth and Rob departing. 

"We are going out to a small party, " Rob remarked to me, casually. 

It was after eleven when we heard them returning. 

"Do you suppose they have been walking all this time?" said Silvia inconcern. "Beth wore no rubbers. "

The next day was Sunday and Huldah put into execution a plan forprocuring one happy hour each week. This plan was the admission of thePolydores, _en masse_, to one of the Sunday schools. She chose thechurch most remote from home so they would be a long time going andcoming, which she said would "help some. "

"Now, " said Beth, as she watched them march away, "I can dare to tellyou where we spent last evening. We were at the Polydore house nextdoor. There is a little vine-screened porch on the other side of thehouse. Rob managed to open one of the windows and brought out a coupleof chairs. It was as snug as could be. "

"I'll corral them every night, " I said, "until you make your getaway, and I'll give you the key so you can go inside when it is cool orstormy. "

"We'll go around the block by way of precaution, " said Rob. 

Presently Huldah returned from the Sunday school with triumphantmien. 

"They made them all into one class and put a redheaded woman withspectacles in for their teacher. I gave them street car tickets tocome home on. "

When the Polydores returned, however, they were dragging Diogenesalong and he looked quite weary. 

"Didn't you come home on the street car?" I asked Ptolemy. 

"No; we sold our tickets and got ice cream sodas, " he explained. "Wetook turns carrying Diogenes on our backs. "

"You only had one ticket for yourself, and two half fares for Thag andEmmy, " said Huldah suspiciously. "I thought Meetie and Di could ridefree. You couldn't have sold them tickets for enough for sodies. "

"Rob gave us three nickels to put in the plate, " said Pythagoras. "Weonly put in one of them, seeing we were all in one family and oneclass. That gave us four nickels for ice cream sodas and the clerkgave Di half a glass some one had left. "

"I gave you a penny for Di to put in, " said Huldah. "What did you dowith that?"

"We wanted him to put it in, and when they took up the collection, hewouldn't give it, " said Emerald. "I tried to take it away from himand he swallowed it. The redhead teacher was awful scared, but I toldher he was used to swallowing things and that you said he carried awhole department store in his insides. "

"Poor little Di, " said Silvia; "it's the only way he has of keepingthings away from you all. "

That night I saw to it personally that each and every Polydore was inhis little bed. It should have aroused my suspicions that none of themrebelled, or had evinced the slightest degree of interest or curiositywhen Beth and Rob announced their intention of going out for theevening. 

At ten-thirty the lovers returned, bringing in Pythagoras, who wasclad in his pajamas. 

"Where did you pick him up?" I asked in astonishment. 

"He picked us up, " said Beth. 

"He was wise, maybe, in discovering where we were, " said Rob, "but hefell down when he tried to work off the ghost screeches on us. Werecognized them at once, and ran him down inside, so our party brokeup. "

"Come here, Pythagoras, " I commanded. 

He obeyed promptly and fearlessly. 

"How did you know they were there, and when did you go over there?"

"I was playing over in our house today, " he replied, "and I found oneof Beth's hairpins with the little stones in, in the big chair, so Iknew that was where they hid last night. As soon as you went downstairs tonight, I got out the window and slid down the roof and cameover to scare them. "

"You've missed a lot of sleep the last few nights, " I said quietly, "so you will have to make it up. You can stay in bed all daytomorrow. "

"Hold on, Lucien!" exclaimed Rob. "Tomorrow's the big baseball game ofthe season, and I promised to take them all. "

"So much the better, " I said. "He will learn to mind. "

Pythagoras looked as if he had been struck, and quickly put his armsacross his eyes. In a moment his shoulders were heaving. At last I hadfound a vulnerable spot in the stoic, and I began to relent. 

"See here, Pythagoras, " I said, "if I let you up in time to go to thegame, will you promise me something?"

"Anything, " came in a muffled voice. 

"Will you promise not to spy on Beth and Rob and keep Emerald andDemetrius from doing it?"

"Yes, " he promised quickly, his arm coming down and his facebrightening. "Sure I will, but I did want to hear what they said. "

"Why?" asked Rob interestedly. 

"We're getting up a show, and Em is going to take the part of a girland he spoons with Tolly, and we didn't know what to have them say toeach other. "

"I'll rehearse you on the play, and prompt you, " said Beth with alittle giggle. 

"Come on upstairs with me now, " I said to Pythagoras. 

When I landed him at his door, he leaned up against me, and rubbed hischeek against my arm. 

"Thank you for letting me go to the game, " he said. 

I found myself responding to his affectionate advance. This wouldclearly never do. I couldn't let another Polydore squeeze himself intomy regard. 

"Silvia, " I said abruptly, as I came into our room, "we must reallymake some immediate plan for disposing of the Polydores, or, atleast, of 'Them Three. '"

"Huldah is managing them tolerably well, " demurred Silvia. "Since theydepreciated in market value from five thousand per to nothing, she hasresumed her former harsh treatment of them. "

"Well, we are not going to keep them, " I replied with finality. "Weare under no obligations to do so. I am going to put them in a schoolfor boys and use the blank check Felix Polydore left to pay for theirtuition. "

"I suppose that is what we will have to do, " she admitted with alittle sigh. "Yet, Lucien, it doesn't seem quite right. If they are ina boys' school, they will keep on right along the same lines. Theyneed home influence and contact with women. Demetrius is fond of musicand will sit still and listen when I play. Emerald obeyed me today thefirst time I spoke, and I even thought I saw a glimmer of good inPythagoras. "

I didn't tell her that this glimmer was what had decided me to disposeof him. 

"It would, doubtless, be better for them to stay, " I admitted, "but Iam not going to be a martyr to the cause. They are going. "

The next morning I wrote for catalogues and prospectus to thedifferent schools, and I felt as if three old men of the sea had beenlifted from my shoulders. 

CHAPTER XIX

_Which Has to Do with Some Letters_

One morning when I came down to my office, I found a letter postmarkedfrom the city in which Uncle Issachar lived addressed to me. I openedit and found inclosed, with seal unbroken, the letter Silvia hadmailed to her uncle and which she had marked "personal. " There was anote addressed to me accompanying it:

 "Dear Sir:

 "I am returning herewith your personal letter to Mr. Innes, as he has gone to South America and left no forwarding address. Should such be received from him at any future date, you will be duly notified thereof. 

 "Very truly yours, "Chester K. Winslow, "Secretary. "

I read the above to Silvia at luncheon. She was grievously disappointedbecause her uncle had not received her letter of explanation. 

"It is most fortunate, " she said, "that I sent it in one of youroffice envelopes. "

As usual, she had found the bright spot she always looked for andgenerally discovered. 

"I wouldn't care, " she said, "to have Uncle Issachar's privatesecretary or the dead-letter office know all our private affairs, butI shall feel like an impostor until Uncle Issachar is undeceived. "

"I feel a hunch, " said Rob, "that Uncle Issachar will run acrossDoctor Felix and his wife down there in Chili and find you out. "

"He may run across the Polydores, " I replied, "but he'll never findout from them that they are the parents of Silvia's children. Theywould not mention a subject in which they have so little interest. "

"But, " argued Beth, "naturally they'd tell him where they lived, andthen, of course, he'd say he had a niece living in the same town. Theywould inquire her name and inform him that they were her nearneighbors, and then he'd tell them what fine sons you have, and then, of course, the Polydores would claim their own. "

"Which theory goes to show, " said Silvia, "how little you know UncleIssachar and the Polydore seniors. He would not think of speaking tostrangers, and if he did, he wouldn't say any of those usualconversational things you mentioned. The Polydores wouldn't beinterested, in the least, in knowing he had a niece unless shehappened to know something about antiques, and if he should describeher children, she wouldn't recognize them. "

After luncheon I went out on the porch. While I sat there, the mailcarrier came along and handed me a letter--a returned letter. It wasdirected in Ptolemy's round hand to Mr. Issachar Innes. He hadevidently used the envelope to Silvia's letter to her uncle as hismodel, for the address was written in the same way. "Personal" wasadded in the left-hand corner, and his name and our house number wasin the upper left-hand corner. 

I went into the library where my wife, Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy weresitting. 

"Ptolemy, " I said, handing him the letter, "here is your communicationto Uncle Issachar, returned. "

He lost some of his usual _sang froid_ and appeared quite disconcerted. 

"Why, Ptolemy, " exclaimed Silvia in consternation, "what in the worlddid you write to Uncle Issachar about?"

Ptolemy had recovered and was quite himself again. 

"About us, " he said innocently. "As the oldest of our family, Ithought I ought to do a little explaining. "

"And I think, " I said, looking at him keenly, "that we have the rightto know what your explanation was. "

Ptolemy handed me over the letter. 

"Read it aloud, " he said, with the air of one who is proud of hisproductions. 

Rob's eyes shone in anticipation. 

I broke the seal. A note from the secretary fell out. It was anapology for not returning the letter sooner, but it had beeninadvertently mislaid. I then read aloud the letter Ptolemy hadwritten:

 "Dear Uncle Issachar

 "I am sorry Diogenes and I were away when you were here. You thought the others were fine, but you should have seen--Diogenes. I hope you will send mudder back her check, because there is lots of things she needs, and it takes a lot of money to take care of all us. You see our own father and mother don't want to be bothered with us and they went away and left us, and so we are living with mudder the same as if we were really her adopted children, and if her own would have been worth five thousand per to you, I think her adopted children ought to be worth half as much anyway, so it would only be fair to send her a check for $12, 500 anyway, and if you are a good sport like the kids said you were, you'll send back her check. 

 "Yours truly, "P. Issachar Polydore Wade. "

Rob's laughter was so free and spontaneous that I had to join inagainst my will. Ptolemy, who had seemed a little apprehensive of theverdict, looked accordingly relieved. 

"That's a fine letter, young man, " approved Rob. "Stepdaddy ought totake you into his law firm. "

"No, " declared Beth. "I think Ptolemy has inherited his mother's gift. He should be a writer. "

"Not on your life!" cried Ptolemy with feeling. "I want to livethings instead of writing about them. "

A tear or two came into Silvia's eyes. 

"It was very sweet in you, Ptolemy, to try to get the money formudder. "

I felt that all this commendation was bad for Ptolemy, and that it wasup to me to take a reef in his sails. 

"It was a well-meant letter, Ptolemy, " I said, "and I know that yourmotive was unselfish, but it is very poor policy to meddle in otherpeople's affairs. Meddlers are mischief makers in spite of their goodintentions. I am very glad it did not fall into Uncle Issachar'shands. "

Ptolemy looked sufficiently squelched. 

"By the way, Silvia, " I said. "I wrote Mr. Winslow and told him not toforget to forward Uncle Issachar's address as soon as he possiblycould do so, as I had matters of importance to communicate to him. "

"He may travel about like father and mother, " said Ptolemy, againregaining confidence, "so why don't you put that check for twenty-fivethousand in the Savings Department and get the interest on itanyway?"

"I think, Ptolemy, " said Rob, "that you are too good a financier, after all, to become a lawyer. I will go back to my first convictionthat you should be a promoter. "

"We'll give him to Uncle Issachar, " I proposed, "for a partner. "

CHAPTER XX

_"The Money We Earnt for You"_

Life went on uneventfully save for the dire doings of "Them Three. "Knowing that they were to be sent to school, they were having theirlast fling at life untrammeled. September came, and Rob set the dayfor his departure, as he was going home to arrange his affairs, so heand Beth could leave for an extended honeymoon trip. I planned to gowith Rob and install the Polydore three in their distant school. Theywere so despondent at leaving, as the time drew near, that a feelingof gloom hung over the household, all the members of which, even toHuldah, urged me to relent. But I remained adamant until the eveningbefore the day set for the dissolution of the Polydore family, whensomething happened that changed all our plans. 

We were assembled in the library in a state of forced cheerfulnesswhen the doorbell rang. I answered it, and receipted for a telegramwhich I opened and read in the hall. It was from Chester K. Winslow. 

"Silvia, " I said gravely, as I returned to the library, "your UncleIssachar is dead. Died in South America. Heart disease. Very sudden. "

Conflicting emotions were depicted in Silvia's expression. 

The thought uppermost in all our minds was expressed simultaneously by"Them Three. "

"Gee! Then you can keep the money we earnt for you. "

"You know, " interpolated Rob in soft-pedaled tone, "they are going totrain school children toward the military--teach the young ideas howto shoot, as it were. It won't be long before they are ordered toMexico to protect us. "

"If Them Three ever meets that there Viller man, " commented Huldahconfidently, "the fur will fly some. "

"Lucien, " said Silvia thoughtfully, "we are under obligations to thesechildren, you see, after all. "

"Yes, " I acknowledged with a sigh, "seeing they are now ours, boughtand paid for, I suppose we'll have to treat them as such. "

"You wouldn't send your own kids away to school, " said Pythagorassignificantly. 

"No, " I reluctantly allowed, answering the protest of Pythagoras, "andwe won't send you. You will all go to the public school tomorrow. "

The deafening Polydore powwow that followed made me hope that UncleIssachar had met with his just deserts. 

"By the author of Mildew Manse. "

AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY

By BELLE K. MANIATES

Illustrated. 12mo. $1. 00 net. 

A book for the many who are weary of problem novels. How prosperity cameto the Jenkins family, how Amarilly got an education, how the Boardermarried Lily Rose and built the Annex, and the adventures of the rector'ssurplice, are told in a wholesome little story, between whose covers awaitmany laughs, and a tear or two as well. 

Amarilly is blessed with a large family and amiable neighbors, and theirdoings are amusing, but her fancies and devices are captivating. .. . Thelittle heroine is all right. --_New York Sun. _

The sort of story which pulls at the heartstrings of all readers who likea real and genuine character. .. . No one can afford to miss the sweet humorand helpful cheeriness which the author serves in generousmeasure. --_Boston Globe_. 

"Amarilly of Clothes-Line Alley" is a dear companion for vacation daysand comes deservedly under the books of real amusement. .. . Dear Amarilly!she brightens every hour spent with her. --_Buffalo News_. 

LITTLE, BROWN & CO. , Publishers

34 Beacon Street, Boston