Susan Clegg

 and

 Her Neighbors' Affairs

 By Anne Warner

_Author of "Susan Clegg and her Friend Mrs. Lathrop, " "The Rejuvenationof Aunt Mary, " "A Woman's Will, " etc. _

BostonLittle, Brown, and Company1906

Copyright, 1904, By The Red Book Corporation. 

Copyright, 1905, By The Century Company. 

Copyright, 1905, By The Bobbs Merrill Company. 

Copyright, 1906, By Little, Brown, and Company. 

_All rights reserved_Published June, 1906THE UNIVERSITY PRESS, CAMBRIDGE, U. S. A. 

[Illustration: "It's a brand-new one, fer the price-tag's still hangin'on the back. "]

_PREFATORY NOTE_

_"Mrs. Lathrop's Love Affair" appeared in "The Century Magazine" in1905. "The Wolf at Susan's Door" was published in "The Reader'sMagazine" in the early part of the present year, and "Old Man Ely'sProposal" is printed for the first time in this volume. The originalversion of "A Very Superior Man" appeared in "The Red Book. "_

 * * * * *

CONTENTS

MRS. LATHROP'S LOVE AFFAIR Part First. The Deacon's Dilemma Part Second. The Automobile

OLD MAN ELY'S PROPOSAL

THE WOLF AT SUSAN'S DOOR Part First. Miss Clegg's Speculations Part Second. Gran'ma Mullins's Woe Part Third. Lucy Dill's Wedding Part Fourth. Mr. Jilkins's Hat

A VERY SUPERIOR MAN

 * * * * *

 MRS. LATHROP'S LOVE AFFAIR

PART FIRST

THE DEACON'S DILEMMA

Miss Clegg was getting her own favorite tea. This always consisted ofitself, toast, and a slice of bacon; and she apparently took as muchpleasure in the preparation of the meal as if it were not the tenthousandth of its kind which she had cooked and eaten. As she hustledand bustled here and there, her manner seemed even more sprightly thanusual; and it was only occasionally, when her glance fell upon the lightshining across from her friend's kitchen window opposite, that hercheerfulness knew any diminution. But there seemed to be some sadinfluence in the effect of the rays of Mrs. Lathrop's lamp on thisparticular night; and even if its effect on Susan was merely transitory, it was not the less marked each time that it occurred. 

Once, just as she was carrying the tea-pot from the stove to the table, she voiced her thoughts aloud. 

"I shall have to tell her to-night, so I may 's well make up my mind toit, " she said firmly; and then, after drawing up a chair by making ahook out of one of her feet, she sat down and sought strength for theordeal in a more than ordinarily hearty supper. 

It was a bleak, cold night in early November, and the wind whistleddrearily outside. There was a chill atmosphere everywhere, and a hint ofcoming winter. 

"I shall wear my cap an' my cardigan jacket to go over there, " theneighborly disposed Susan reflected as she carefully drank the last ofthe tea. "Dear, dear! but it's goin' to be a terrible shock to her, poorthing!"

Then she arose and carefully and scrupulously put the kitchen back intoits customary order. Having removed the last trace of any one's everhaving cooked or eaten there, she lighted a candle and sought her wrapsin the icy upper regions of the house. As she passed the parlor door sheshivered involuntarily. 

"I expect he was cold, " she murmured; "I know I was. But I could n't seemy way to sittin' in the kitchen with a caller: I never was one to donothin' improper, an' I was n't goin' to begin at my age. "

Then she went upstairs and got out the cap and jacket. It was a man'scap, with ear-tabs, and not at all in keeping with the fair Susan'sfeatures; but she gave no heed to such matters and tied it on with twofirm jerks. 

"I jus' do hope, " she ejaculated as she struggled into the cardigan, "'tshe won't faint. It'll surely come very sudden on her, too, an' all mytalk 's to the advantage o' stayin' unmarried, an' the times an' times I've said as we was always goin' to stay jus' so--"

The termination of the jacket-buttoning terminated the soliloquy also. Miss Clegg went downstairs and warmed her hands at the kitchen stove, preparatory to locking up. Ten minutes later she was tapping at Mrs. Lathrop's door. 

"I must n't tell her too quick, " she reminded herself as she waited tobe let in; "I must lead up to it like they do after a railroad smash. Mrs. Lathrop ain't what you call over-nervous; still, she has gotfeelin's, an' in a time like this they ought to be a little steered outfor. If she saw him comin' in or goin' out, that 'll help some. "

Mrs. Lathrop not answering to the tap, the caller knocked again, andthen tried to open the door from without, but found it to be boltedinside. 

"I s'pose she's asleep, with her feet in the oven, " Susan said in aspirit of rebellion and disapproval mixed, and then she battered madlyfor entrance. 

Mrs. Lathrop was asleep, and did have her feet in the oven. She wasparticularly fond of finishing up her daily desultoriness in thatmanner. It took time slightly to disturb her slumber, more time yet toawaken her fully, and still again more time to get her to the door andopen it. 

"Well, _Susan_!" she said in a tone of cordial surprise when she saw whoit was; "the idea of--"

"He wanted as I should see you to-night, rain or shine, " said thefriend, advancing into the middle of the kitchen. 

"Who wanted?"

"The deacon. Did n't you see him this afternoon?"

Mrs. Lathrop furtively rubbed her eyes. 

"Oh, yes, yes--I--" she began. 

"Well, he wanted as I should come right over an' tell you to-night. An'I told him 't I would. "

"Tell me wh--"

"I shall break it to you as easy as I can, Mrs. Lathrop; but there 's nodenyin' as it 'll come very sharp on you at the end. "

Mrs. Lathrop ceased to rub her eyes, and a vague apprehension openedthem effectually instead. 

"I presume, if you saw him at all, you saw how long he stayed?"

"Yes, I--"

"All of two hours, an' his talk was as dumfounderin' on me as it will beon you. I 'd never thought o' any such doin's in this direction. Ialways looked on as a complete outsider, did n't you?"

"I don't un--"

Susan had shed her jacket and cap while talking; she now took a chairand surveyed her friend with the air of one who has pain to inflict andyet is firm. 

Mrs. Lathrop looked frankly troubled. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you 'd ought to know me well enough, after allthese years, to know as I shall make this as easy as I can for you. Perhaps the best way 'll be to go 'way back to the beginnin' an' speako' when Mrs. White died. It'll be a proper leadin' up, for if she hadn't died, he 'd never 'a' come to see me this afternoon, an' I 'd never'a' come to see you to-night. Howsumsever, she did die; an', bein' dead, I will say for her husband as you don't find chick or child in town todeny as a nicer, tidier, more biddable little man never lived; 'n' 'sfar as my personal feelin's go, I should think 't any woman mightconsider it nothin' but a joy to get a man 's is always so long on thedoor-mat 'n' so busy with his tie 's the deacon is. He got some wore outtoward the last o' her illness, for she was give' up in September 'n'died in July; but even then I 've heard Mrs. Allen say 's it was jus'pretty to see him putterin' aroun' busy 's a bee, tryin' to keep dustedup for the funeral any minute. " Susan paused to sigh. 

"Seems like she did n't die but yesterday, " she said reminiscently;"don't seem like it can possibly be over a year. I never can butremember them last days: they stand out afore me like a needle in acamel's eye. Nobody could n't say 's everythin' was n't done; they hadtwo doctors 'n' a bill 't the drug-store, but the end come at last. Shebegin to sink 'n' sink, 'n' young Dr. Brown said that way o' sinkin'away was always, to his mind, one o' the most unfortunate features o'dyin'. He said he knowed lots o' people 's 'd be alive 'n' well now ifthey could just o' been kept from that sinkin' away. Old Dr. Carter toldMrs. Jilkins his theory was 't while the pulse beats there 's life; buteven he had to admit 's Mrs. White was about beat out. 'N' it was so, too; for she died while they was talkin', 'n' the deacon just beginnin'on cleanin' the pantry shelves. He had to put all the dishes back on topo' the old papers; 'n' any one could see how hard it was for him, for he'd counted on havin' everythin' spick 'n' span at the end. 

"Well, that was a busy time! It 's too bad you have to miss so much, Mrs. Lathrop; now, that day at Mrs. White's would 'a' done you a worldo' good. There was a great deal o' company, 'n' the newspaper man ledoff, comin' to know what she died of. He explained he had to know rightaway, 'cause if she did n't die o' nothin' in particular, they neededthe extra line for stars to show up a cod-liver oil advertisement. Isaid the deacon was the one to ask, 'n' we hunted high 'n' low for himuntil Mrs. Jilkins remembered 's he'd took them keys Mrs. White alwayshad under her pillow 'n' gone up attic to see what trunks they fitted. Mrs. Macy had to holler him down; 'n', my! but he was snappy. He said, 'Ask Dr. Brown, ' 'n' then he clumb straight back up his ladder; 'n' Dr. Brown said 's she died o' the complete seclusion of her aspirational 'n'bronchoid tubes. I could see 't the newspaper man did n't know how tospell it, 'n' he told young Dr. Brown any such doin's 'd squeeze thecod-liver oil over into next week, which could n't be considered for aminute. 'N' then he went on to say 't if folks want to die o' more 'none line, they 've got to do it Tuesday night, or at the very latestWednesday afore ten o'clock, if it's to be got in right. 

"Well, next come the funeral; 'n' I will say right here 'n' now 't theway 's the widows closed in around Deacon White was enough to send anyman up a ladder. There was Mrs. Macy 's was actually ready 'n' waitin'to lay Mrs. White out afore she was dead. 'N' Mrs. Macy is n't one 'sany one 'd rashly set about makin' love to, I should n't suppose. I 'vealways understood 's there 's a while 't they sit on laps; 'n' the lapain't built 's could take pleasure in holdin' Mrs. Macy. But she was onhand, all the same, 'n' 's beamin' 's if she stood a show. 

"'N' then there was Gran'ma Mullins! I was perfectly dumb did up at thedoin's o' Gran'ma Mullins. I 'd always looked on her 's a very deservin'mother to Hiram, 'n' one 's any one c'd trust 's to doughnuts forsociables; but when she come to Mrs. White's funeral with her hairfrizzed, I give up. Gran'ma Mullins--at her age--at the funeral of awidower's dead wife--'n' her hair frizzed! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, if I wason my way to my own hangin' I sh'd still say 't to my order o' thinkin'it wasn't proper mournin'. 

"Not 's there was n't others up to the same doin's. The first night Mrs. Allen sent Polly over with one dish o' ice-cream 'n' one slice o' cakefor the deacon's supper, --'n' me there 's plain 's day sittin' upalternate with Mr. Jilkins. 'N' Mrs. Allen did n't make no bones aboutit, neither; she said frank 'n' open 't her disapp'intment over SamDuruy 'd aged Polly right up to where only a elderly man 'd be anywisefit f'r her, 'n' she said she was teachin' her 'Silver threads among thegold' 'n' how to read aloud 't the tip-top o' your voice. I did n'tdiscourage her none. I told her 't there was n't many like the deacon, 'n' that come true right off; fer we heard a awful crash, 'n' it wasthen 't he fell through the ceilin' into Phoebe's room 'n' a pretty jobwe had sweepin' up his dust. 

"The minister come in while we was sweepin'. He certainly does come tocall always at very uncomfortable times; but I suppose everybody 's gotto have a cross, 'n' ours 's him. Anyway, he wanted to know about if it'd be agreeable to the family to have Mrs. White discoursed on 's afaithful handmaid, 'cause he did n't want to have to alter her after he'd got her all copied. He said there was the choice o' a bondwoman o'the Lord 'n' a light in Israel, too. We had to go 'n' holler the deacona long time, 'n' finally we found him out settin' a hen. I did n't think's he 'd ought to 'a' set a hen the day o' his wife's funeral--I did n'tthink much o' settin' hens any time; it's set 'n' set, 'n' then half thetime all you get is a weasel. 

"Well, he come in at last, 'n' he would n't hear o' havin' his wifecalled a handmaid, 'cause, he said, it was him 's had always done allthe work. The minister said it was astonishin' what 'Liza Em'ly couldget through in a mornin', 'n' then he coughed; 'n' Mrs. Macy said 't'Liza Em'ly was very helpful for a child o' her age, 'n' then shecoughed; 'n' then the deacon went back to his hen, 'n' the ministersighed 'n' went, too. "

Mrs. Lathrop herself sighed as Susan paused. 

"I remember--" she said slowly. 

"It was a nice funeral, though, " her friend continued; "I never see anicer one, even if Mrs. White was n't able to look after nothin'herself. Mr. Kimball got down to business like it 'd always been hisbusiness, 'n' the way he hustled things through was a lesson to them 'stakes a whole afternoon to one member of a family. He took all thetable-leaves 'n' laid 'em from chair to chair, so 's everybody had aseat; 'n' then, 's folks come in, he had Billy hand 'em each a fan withhis advertisement on one side 'n' two rows o' readin' on the other, so's no one got dull waitin'. 

"'N' then I never shall forget what a neat job he done with the dove. You know 's well 's I do 't it 's hard on the dove, 'n' always has beenhard on the dove, to go to every funeral 'n' be the window advertisementbetween deaths. I 've told you before how it was freely remarked in thesquare, after Mrs. Dill's burial, as the way the dove looked there wassuthin' borderin' on scandalous. He 'd hovered with a motto till hiswings was 's dirty inside 's outside, 'n' they 'd tipped his head backto look up resurrected or front to look down dejected till at Mrs. Dill's all he was fit for was to sit on the foot of her 'n' mourn, withthe hat-pins 's held him steady stickin' out in all directions. Somefolks as was really very sorry about Mrs. Dill 'most died when they seethe dove, 'n' Mr. Kimball (he had n't bought the business then) remarkedopenly 's his view was as he 'd better go to two or three baptisms aforehe tried another funeral. Such bein' the case, it was no more 'n natural's we sh'd all feel a little worried thinkin' o' Mrs. White's bein' nextto stand the dove; 'n' Mrs. Sperrit said frank an' open 't to her ordero' thinkin' the deacon 'd ought to jus' forbid it. We all saw the sensein her view; but even if we did, you know 's well 's I do it 'd be apretty delicate matter in this c'mmunity to be the first to deliberatelyskip the dove. "

"I think he's pret--" said Mrs. Lathrop, musingly. 

"I won't say 't I don't think so, too, " said Susan; "but I never was oneto turn a blind eye to the dirt on the outside o' nothin', --'s you knowto your cost, Mrs. Lathrop, --'n' such bein' the case, I certainly didfeel to regret 's the dove 'd had such long wear 'n' tear afore it comeMrs. White's turn to be sat on. I was fond o' Mrs. White; we had n'tspoke in years, owin' to her bein' too deaf to hear, but what I see ofher from the street was always pleasant, 'n' I did n't like to think 'smaybe anythin' 'd be left out o' the last of her. So we let it all go, 'n' we certainly had our reward for so doin' when we see the result; forMr. Kimball did a fine job then 'n' there, 'n' when he was dry-cleanedinside 'n' out, 'n' his beak 'n' feet painted, 'n' new beads foreyes--well, all I can say is 't I wish you 'd been there to see him, that 's all. He took his wings completely off, so 's to give him the airo' bein' folded up; 'n' then he stuck a gilt arrow in his heart 'n' laidhim cornerways on the deacon's cross o' tiger-lilies. 'N' he did n'tstop 't that, neither; he took his wings 'n' sewed 'em to each side of ared heart left over from a euchre-party, 'n' laid the whole on Mr. Jilkins's piller o' pansies, so the deacon could n't in conscience feel't anythin' 's he 'd paid for was wasted. I 've said all along, 'n' I'llsay ag'in here 'n' now, 't it was all one o' the prettiest things I eversee; 'n' I was n't the only one 's felt that way, for I 've heard lotso' folks say since 's they 'll want the dove just so for themselves. "

Mrs. Lathrop turned a little uneasily; Susan did not appear to noticethe indication of a possible impatience. 

"It was all a great success, " she went on calmly. "The minister'sdiscourse was very fine; only when he prayed for consolation we allknowed he meant 'Liza Em'ly. All but the deacon, that is. I guess thedeacon was thinkin' more o' Gran'ma Mullins 'n any one else 't first;Mrs. Jilkins told me he asked how old she was, comin' back in thecarriage. "

"I allers thought--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"So did a good many people. I don't know 's that was surprisin', either;for it's a well-known fact 's they was fond o' each other forty or fiftyyears back. She 's got a daguerre'type o' him 's is so old 't you can'tbe very sure whether it 's him, after all. She says she ain't positiveherself, 'cause she had one o' her cousin 's shot himself by accident onhis way to the war, 'n' the wreath o' flowers stamped on the red velvetinside was just the same in both cases. You have to go by the light 'n'tip him a good while to say for sure whether he's got a collar on ornot, 'n' you could n't swear to his havin' on anythin' else if you wasto turn him round 'n' round till doomsday. She had that picture in a boxwith her first hair 'n' Hiram's first tooth 'n' a nut 't she said thedeacon did a hole in with his knife when they was children together oneday. She showed 'em all to me one time when I was there; I did n't thinkmuch o' the nut, I must say. But I will say as it seemed to make herhappy, so I jus' remarked 't it was surprisin' how foolish we got 's wegot old, 'n' let it go 't that. It was a while after 's he took her toMeadville to the circus; it 's a well-known fact 's she was fool enoughto look upon bein' took to a circus 's next thing to bein' asked out 'n'out. She come up to tell me all about it afterward. "

"'N' yet--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"It just shows the vanity o' feelin' sure o' mortal man, " continuedSusan. "She was sure, 'n' Mrs. Allen was sure, 'n' the minister hadfaith; 'n' then there was Mrs. Macy, too. There was a while when itlooked to me 's if swoopin' down 'n' then pinnin' flat c'd catchanythin, ' 't Mrs. Macy 'd have the deacon, she was so everlastingly onhand. Why, I never walked by his house but I met her, 'n' that was fartoo often to ever by any chance be called a' accident. But she was tooopen; my own experience is 't bein' frank 'n' free is time throwed awayon men. If anythin' serious is to be done with a man, it's got to bedone from behind a woodpile. I had some little dealin's with men in themarryin' line once, 'n' I found 'em very shy; tamin' gophers is sleepin'in the sun beside grabbin' a man 's dead against bein' grabbed. I don'tsay 's it can't be done, but I will say 't it 's hard in the first 'n'harder in the last, when you 've got him 'n' he's got you, like theminister 's got his wife. "

"But Mrs. Macy ain't--" protested Mrs. Lathrop. 

"No; 'n' it's her own fault, too. He told me this afternoon 's the wayshe smiled on him right in the first days made the marrow run up 'n'down his back. He said he c'd 'a' stood lots o' things, but no humanbein' but gets mad bein' forever smiled at. Then she knit him things. Hesays she knit him a pair o' snap-on slippers 's Heaven 'll surelyforgive him if he ever see the like of. He said they stuck out 's farbehind 's in front, 'n' all in the world 't he c'd do was to sitperfectly still in the middle of 'em 'n' content himself with viewin''em 's slippers. But he says the worst was, she cooked him things; hesays he won't say what he 's paid young Dr. Brown for advice regardin'things 's she 's cooked him, not to speak o' that time he cut himself sobad pryin' at one o' her undercrusts. 'N, ' just between you 'n' me, Mrs. Lathrop, he says it 's a secret 's he will carry to his grave unsealedas she give him a crock o' gherkins on his birthday, with a pair o'buttonhole scissors at the bottom. 

"He said he jus' felt he 'd enjoy to have the revenge o' stayin' single. But he said it did n't take him long to see 's stayin' single is aprivilege 's no woman 's goin' to allow to a man whose wife 's dead. Hesays the way he 's been chased 's all but killin'. He says there 's Mrs. Allen firin' Polly at him when he goes over there for his dinner, 'n'the minister tellin' him every Sunday 'n' prayer-meetin' how 'Liza Em'lyis shootin' up. He says Gran'ma Mullins is forever referrin' to hisyouth, 'n' Mrs. Macy is forever smilin'. He says he could easy keep hishouse alone, --he says he understands a house from moth-balls toquicklime, --but they won't let him. He says he 's not only townproperty, but he 's town talk 's well. He says Mrs. Craig stopped him inthe square 'n' asked him point-blank if he'd remembered to put on hisflannels day before yesterday. 

"I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, it's plain 't that man has suffered. If you'd 'a' seen him, your heart would 'a' softened like mine did. 'N' himsuch a neat little bald-headed man without any wishin' o' anybodyanythin'! I give him a lot o' sympathy. I told him 't I'd knowed what itwas to have a lot o' folks seem bound to marry you in the teeth o' yourown will. I told him the whole community was witness to how I was setupon after father's death 'n' well-nigh drove mad. He said he wished hehad my grit 'n' maybe he'd make a try to fight like I did, but he saidhe was beat out. He said if he is n't up 'n' the smoke pourin' out o'his chimney at six sharp, all the single women in town is lined up infront to know what's happened. He says if he was married, it goeswithout sayin' 's they'd both be allowed to sleep in peace. He says ifhe lights a candle at night, he hears of it next day. He said if he getsa letter in a strange hand, it's all over town 's some strange woman 'smade his acquaintance. He says the whole world feels free to dust hishat or w'isk his coat if he stops to chat a minute. He says, such bein'the case, he 's made up his mind 't he's got to get married. He says he's considered very carefully. He says he knows jus' the kind o' woman. He says he 's been fretted, 'n' he don't never want to be fretted nomore. "

Miss Clegg paused, as if the crisis had arrived. She surveyed her friendwith a meaning eye, and Mrs. Lathrop rather shrunk together andendeavored to look courageous. 

"Up to now 's been all preparin' your mind. Do you feel prepared? Areyou ready?"

"Yes, I--" gasped the victim. 

"Left to myself, I sh'd 'a' waited till mornin', but he wanted you toknow to-night. He know's I'm your dearest friend. He said if I didn'ttell you right off, it might get to you some other way 'n' be a' awfulblow. He said he had to go to Meadville to-morrow, so he might mentionit down-town to-night, 'n' 'most any one might let it drop in on you. Isee the p'int o' his reasonin', 'n' so--"

"Susan, " said the friend, her feelings completely overflowing allbounds--"oh, Susan, are you really a-goin' to marry--"

Susan's expression altered triumphantly. 

"Why, Mrs. Lathrop, " she said, with keen enjoyment, "it ain't me 's hewants to marry; it 's you!"

PART SECOND

THE AUTOMOBILE

Mrs. Lathrop collapsed backward and downward, her eyes closed, her mouthopened, her hands fell at her sides, her feet flew out in front of her. Never in the history of the world were the words "This is so sudden!"more vividly illustrated. 

Susan sat bolt upright opposite and surveyed her friend's emotion withan expression of calm and interested neutrality. 

After a while Mrs. Lathrop's eyes began to open and her mouth to close;she gathered her hands into her lap, and her feet under her skirt, saying weakly:

"Well, I never hear nothin' to beat--"

"I ain't surprised 't your takin' it to heart like that, " said theimparter of news. "I may tell you in confidence 't I was nigh to laid outmyself in the first hearin' of it. I looked upon it jus' as you did, an'jus' as anybody in their common senses naturally would. It was n't nomore 'n was to be expected that me, bein' neat like himself an'unmarried, too, sh'd 'a' struck him 's just about what he was lookin'for. I 'm younger 'n Gran'ma Mullins 'n' Mrs. Macy, an' older 'n 'LizaEm'ly an' Polly Ann. I 've got property, 'n' nobody can 't say 's I haven't always done my duty by whatever crossed my path, even if was nothin'but snow in the winter. All the time 't he was talkin' I was thinkin', 'n' I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, it's pretty hard work to smile 'n' lookinterested in a man's meanderin's while you 're tryin' to figure on howyou can will your money safe away from him. I was n't calc'latin' onhavin' Deacon White get any of my money, I c'n tell you, an' I meant tohave that understood right in the beginnin'. Maybe he would n't 'a' likedit; but if he had n't 'a' liked it, he c'd 'a' give me right square up. Lord knows, I never was after him with no net; I don't set about gettin'what I want that way. 'N' I never for one minute have thought o' wantin'the deacon. I 'm used to lookin' everythin' square in the face, 'n' noone as has got eyes could look the deacon in the face 'n' want him. 'N'the more they turned him round 'n' round, the less they'd want him. Itain't in reason's the friend could be found to deny 't he 's asbow-legged as they make 'em. An' then there's his ears! A woman could, maybe, overlook the bow-legs if she held the newspaper high enough; but Idon't believe 's any one in kingdom come could overlook them ears. Mr. Kimball says Belgian hares an' Deacon White 's both designed to becatched by their ears. I looked at him to-day 'n' figured on maybe tryin'to tame 'em in a little with a tape nightcap; but then I says to myself, I says: 'No; if he 's to be my husband, I 'll probably have so much tooverlook that them ears 'll soon be mice to the mountain o' the rest, 'an' so I give up the idea. I had bother enough with tryin' to see where I'd put him, fer I certainly would n't consider movin' down to his housefor a minute, 'n' it was a question 's to a stove in father's room orgivin' him double windows for a weddin' present. 

"'N' then, all of a sudden, he come out with wantin' you!

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I jumped--I really did. Him so tidy 'n' goin' outon the porch half a dozen times a day to brush up the seeds under thebird-cage--'n' wantin' _you_! I couldn't believe my ears at first, 'n'he talked quite a while, 'n' I did n't hear a word he said. 'N' then, when I did find my tongue, I jus' sat right down 'n' did my duty by him. Mrs. Lathrop, you know 's well 's I do how fond I am o' you; but youknow, too, 's well 's I do 't no woman 's calls herself a Christian c'dsit silent an' let a man keep on supposin' 't he c'd be happy with you. I talked kind, but I took no fish-bones out 'o the truth. I give himjus' my own observation, 'n' no more. I told him 't it was n't in me totry to fool even a deacon; an' so when I said frank and free 't evenyour very cats soon give up washin' their faces, he c'd depend upon itsbein' so. I says to him, I says: 'Deacon White, there's lots o' worsethings 'n bein' unmarried, 'n' if you marry Mrs. Lathrop you 'll learnevery last one of 'em. Your first wife was deaf, ' I says, ''n' Mrs. Lathrop c'n hear. She 's a very good hearer, too, ' I says (for you know's I'd never be one to run you down, Mrs. Lathrop); 'but anythin' 's ismore of a' effort than listenin' never gets done in her house. You 'retidy in your ways, Deacon White, ' I says; 'any one as's ever passed whenyou was hangin' out your dish-towels 'd swear to that; an' such bein'the case, how c'd you ever be happy with them 's spreads their wash onthe currant-bushes or lets it blow to the dogs?' Maybe I was a littlehard on him, but I felt 's it was then or never, 'n' I tried my best tosave him. It ain't in nature for them 's goes unhooked to ever realizewhat their unhookedness is to them 's hooks, an' so it 'd be hopeless totry to let you see why my sympathies was so with the deacon; but, tomake a long tale short, he jus' hung on like grim death, 'n' in the endI had to give up. He said I was your friend, an' he wanted 's I sh'dexplain everythin' to you; an' to-morrow, when he gets back fromMeadville, he 'll come up an' get his answer. He did n't ask 'f Ithought you 'd have him, 'cause o' course he knowed you 'd have him 'swell 's I did. He said 's he sh'd mention it about town to keep anywomen from takin' the same train with him. He says he has n't beenanywhere by himself for ever so long. He says jus' as soon 's he 'smarried he 's goin' off for a good long trip, all alone. "

Susan ceased speaking for a little; Mrs. Lathrop looked dazed anddubious. 

"It's so unex--" she said slowly. 

"The beginnin' o' gettin' married always is, " said her friend; "but it's all there is about it 's is even unexpected. It's all cut an' driedfrom there on. Once you take a man, nothin' 's ever sudden no more. Folks expects all sorts o' pleasant surprises; everybody seems to getmarried for better, an' then get along for worse. They begin byimaginin' a lot 'n' then lookin' for the thing to be 'way beyond theimaginin'; it ain't long afore they see 't their imaginin' was 'waybeyond the thing, 'n' after that they soon have it all on top o' them tocarry till they die. "

"I never was no great hand at marryin', " said Mrs. Lathrop, faintly. "Iwas propelled into it the first--"

"Well, nobody ain't propellin' you this time, " said Miss Clegg. "I 'mhangin' back on your skirts, with my heels stuck in 's far 's they 'llgo. " She rose as she spoke. 

"I don 't know what I shall--" began the older woman, looking up at theyounger. 

"You 've got all to-morrow to decide. He won't be back till fiveo'clock. I should n't worry, 'f I was you. O' course, it 's your lastlove affair, probably, 'n' you want to get 's much 's you can out of it;but I don't see no call to fret any. He ain't frettin'. He 's jus' in ahurry to get married, 'n' get rid o' Gran'ma Mullins 'n' Mrs. Macy an'Polly Ann an' 'Liza Em'ly, 'n' get started on that nice long trip he 'sgoin' on alone. "

"I shall think--" murmured Mrs. Lathrop. 

Susan was decking herself for going home. 

"I won't be over in the mornin', " she said as she tied on her cap; "I've got errands down-town; but I 'll come over after dinner. "

"Good-by, " said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Good-by, " said her friend. 

 * * * * *

It was somewhat warmer the next morning. Mrs. Lathrop began the day on acup of extra-strong coffee, and continued it in an unusual mood ofclearing up. Her kitchen was really very close to exemplary when twoo'clock arrived, and she took up her knitting to wait for the promisedvisitation. 

It matured about half-past the hour. The visitor brought her knitting, too. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, " she said pleasantly on entering, "if it was n'tfor the automobile, you 'n' the deacon 'd surely be the talk o' the townthis day. "

"Whose aut--?"

"Nobody 's; jus' two men's. One steers in goggles, 'n' the other jumpsin 'n' out 'n' settles for the damages. I see it first on my waydown-town this morning; only, as a matter of fact, I did n't see it, 'n'it was nigh to tootin' right over me, only I jumped in the nick o' time, 'n' it went over my over-shoe an' split the heel open. I c'n assure youI was glad I was wearin' father's over-shoes, as c'n come off so easy, when I saw the split heel; an' them men was as polite 's could be, churned backward right off, 'n' settled with me for a quarter. I caneasy sew up the heel myself, so I went on down-town feelin' pretty good. There ain't many things about me 't I can sew up as I would n't splitfor a quarter any day. The automobile went on ahead, 'n' by the time Igot to the square it had had time to run down the minister. 

"He was crossin' from Mr. Kimball's to Mr. Dill's, an' stopped short forfear it 'd run over him. Not knowin' the minister's make-up, they 'dcalc'lated on his goin' on when he see a' automobile comin'; an' so itwas all over him in a jiffy. I don' know what his wife'll ever say, f'rhis hat is completely bu'st. However, they settled with him--hat, feelin's, an' all--for ten dollars, an' he went on over to Mr. Dill's. Isaid 't if I was his wife I 'd anchor him in the middle o' the square'n' let automobiles run up 'n' down him all day long at that price. Isaid it to Mrs. Craig; she come up to ask me 'f it was really true aboutyou an' the deacon. She says no one can believe it o' the deacon. Shesays Mr. Jilkins was in town last night, 'n' he was very mad when heheard of it. He thinks it's a reflection. He says folks 'll say it lookslike his sister was n't wife enough for one man. I told her nobody couldn't say nothin' about it 't I would n't agree to, considerin' your agean' his ears. I told her 't it did n't seem to me 's marryin' wasanyways necessary to the business o' the world. If mother 'd nevermarried, neither she nor me 'd ever of had all them years o' work withfather. She says this about you 'n' the deacon was stirrin' up the towna lot. She says there's a good deal o' bitter feelin'. Seems Mrs. Allennever charged him nothin' for his meals on account o' Polly, an' Gran'maMullins made him a whole set o' shirts for nothin' on account o' the nut'n' the daguerre'type, 'n' Mrs. Macy did up all his currants fer nothin'on account o' herself. She says Mr. Kimball says he wonders what thedeacon 's a-expectin' to get out o' you. 

"We went across to look at the automobile together. It was standin'still in front o' the drug-store, 'n' the men was in buyin' cigarettesan' gettin' their bottles filled. I guess half the community wasstandin' round lookin' at it an' discussin' it. It's a brand-new one, for the price-tag 's still hangin' on the back. Billy said it was abargain, but it struck me 's pretty high. They had a wheel 's 'd comeoff hung on behind, 'n' nobody could n't see where it 'd come off of. Mr. Fisher got down an' crawled in underneath, an' while he was underthere the men come out. They asked what Mr. Fisher was tryin' to do, an'when Billy told 'em, they laughed. 

"They said that wheel was in case o' accidents. John Bunyan spoke rightup an' said, 'Why, does the accidents ever happen to the _automobile_?''N' the men laughed some more. Then they got in 'n' started to start, 'n' it would n' start. It snuffed 'n' chuffed to beat the band, but itwould n't budge for love nor money nor the man in goggles. He jerked 'n'twisted, 'n' then all of a sudden it run backward, 'n' went over Mr. Dill's dog 's was asleep in the way, 'n' into the lamp-post, 'n' bu'stthe post off short. Well, you never see the beat! They wanted to settlethe dog for the same 's the minister, but Mr. Dill would n't hear to itfor a minute, 'cause he said his dog was worth suthin'. Judge Fitch comeup 'n' said the town 'd want three dollars for the lamp-post, 'n' theypaid that, 'n' then they tried to arbitrate the dog; 'n' in the end Mr. Dill took eleven dollars an' fifteen cents, 'cause his collar 's stillgood. Then they got into the automobile again an' twisted the crank theother way, an' it kited across the square an' right over Gran'maMullins. She was on her way to ask if it was true about you 'n' thedeacon, an' it was plain 's she wa'n't in no disposition to enjoy bein'run over by nothin'. I never see her so nigh to bein' real put out; 'n'even after they 'd settled with her for five dollars, she still did n'tlook a bit pleased or happy. Mrs. Craig 'n' me went with her into Mr. Shores' 'n' helped her straighten her bonnet 'n' take a drink o' water, 'n' then she said she s'posed it was true about you an' the deacon, 'n''t, so help her Heaven, she never would 'a' believed 's either o' youhad so little sense. She said to tell you 't all she 's got to say is 'tif he deceives you like he 's deceived her, you 'll know how it feels tohave him deceive you 's well 's she knows how it feels to of had himdeceive her. She says she's goin' to take a hammer an' smash that nut'n' that daguerre'type into a thousand smithereens this very afternoon. "

"I 'm sorry 's--" said Mrs. Lathrop, regretfully. 

"While we was sittin' there talkin', in come Mrs. Macy, with her catover her arm, to ask if there was enough of it left to make a muff. Seems 't when the automobile headed out o' town they come on the catcrossin' the road, 'n' afore she knew 's there was a death in the familythey was tryin' to settle the cat at a dollar. Said she never see thebeat o' the way the cat was ironed flat; she jus' stood 'n' stared, 'n'then they offered her two dollars. She took the two dollars an' come totown, 'n' 'f there ain't enough for a muff, she 'll have a cap with thetail over her ear. She wanted to know if it was true about you 'n' thedeacon, an' she tried to swing the cat around 's if she did n't care, but it was easy seen she did. She said she would n't have the deacon fora gift, 'n' I told her 's there was others havin' to admit the samething. I says to her, I says: 'There's a good many in this town 's won'thave the deacon, but it ain't for lack o' tryin' to get him, Lordknows. ' Jus' then we see the man with the cap 's does the settlin' fordamages tearin' by the window afoot. We run to the door an' sec him grabMr. Sweet's bicycle 'n' ride away on it; 'n' it did n't take no greatbrains to guess 's suthin' fresh had happened under the automobile. Alittle while after the man with goggles an' Mr. Jilkins come walkin'into the square, a-leadin' Mr. Jilkins's horse. The horse was prettywell splintered up, 'n' the harness was hangin' all out o' tune; the manwith goggles looked to be upset, 'n' Mr. Jilkins looked like he 'd beenupset 'n' was awful mad over it. Every one went to know what it was; an'I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I never hear such a story o' unforeseenmiseries pilin' up. Seems 't when Mr. Jilkins went home las' night 'n'told his wife about you 'n' the deacon, they decided to come to townright off to-day 'n' try to argue common sense into him. Mr. Jilkinssaid 't he was n't afraid o' the property goin' out o' the family, 'cause you 'n' the deacon could n't naturally expect nothin' butgrandchildren at your age; but he said they jus' did n't want himmarried, 'n' they was goin' to see 't he did n't get drug into it. Sothey took the horse 'n' the colt an' the democrat 'n' started up to townthis mornin', 'n' jus' beyond the bridge they met the automobile warmin'up from Mrs. Macy 'n' her cat. Mr. Jilkins says his horse ain't afraido' nothin' on earth only threshin'-machines, men asleep, 'n' bicycles;but it never 'd seen a' automobile afore, 'n' it jumped right into it. Well, him in goggles 'n' his friend in damages jumped right out, 'n' theautomobile run into the fence an' run over the colt, 'n' spilled Mr. AndMrs. Jilkins 'n' the horse all out. The horse fell down 'n' Mrs. Jilkinscould n't get up, 'n' the man in the cap wanted to settle for fivehundred dollars right on the spot. Then they went to work an' got thetool-box, 'n' got the horse up, 'n' he seemed to be all right, onlypretty badly marred; an' they backed the automobile out o' the fence an'give Mrs. Jilkins a drink out o' their bottle, 'n' tucked her up warm inthe seat, an' then set to work on the democrat. They was gettin'everythin' all straightened out neat 's a pin when, all of a sudden, Mrs. Jilkins give a yell, an' they looked up to see the automobilekitin' off up the hill, 'n' her screamin' an' wavin' her hands; 'n' thenext thing they see, she went over the top o' the hill 'n' out o'sight. "

Miss Clegg stopped; Mrs. Lathrop drew in her breath. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, seems to me I never hear nothin' to equal that inall my born days. Mrs. Jilkins off in a' automobile alone! 'N' the manin the cap see it jus' 's I did, for he wanted to settle for a thousand, spot cash, then 'n' there. But Mr. Jilkins would n't settle; there's nodenyin' Mr. Jilkins saw what a good thing he 'd got when his wife wentoff in that automobile; so then the man in the cap hustled in town, gota bicycle, 'n' scurried after her 's fast 's he could paddle. "

"Did they find--?" inquired Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Not when I come home they had n't. The man in goggles had took Mr. Jilkins to the hotel for dinner, 'n' Mr. Jilkins was tickled to death, for he never eat in a hotel in his life before. If he goes off, healways gets back, or else takes a lunch. "

"Are you goin'?" Mrs. Lathrop asked. 

"Yes; I 'm goin' down-town again. I 'm goin' right now. I want to knowthe end 's Mrs. Jilkins made. 'N' there 's lots o' people 's ain't hadno chance yet to ask me if it's true about you 'n' the deacon. "

"When's he a-com--?" Mrs. Lathrop asked. 

"On the five-o'clock; 'n' he said 's he sh'd come straight up here tosettle it all. I s'pose you 've turned the subjeck round an' round 'n'upside down till you 've come out jus' where I said you would at first. "

"I guess I'll take--"

"I would 'f I was you. Mr. Kimball says Deacon White 's as good help 'sany woman can hope to get hold o' in a place this size, an' I guess he's hit that nail square on top. I don't see but what, when all's saidan' done, you can really take a deal o' comfort havin' him so handy. Helikes to keep things clean, 'n' you 'll never let him get a chance to goto Satan emptyhanded. 'N' we can always send him to bed when we want totalk, 'cause bein' 's he 'll be your husband, we won't never have tofuss with considerin' his feelin's any. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop, thoughtfully. 

"O' course there would n't be nothin' very romantic in marryin' thedeacon; 'n' yet, when you come right square down to it, I don't see nogood 'n' sufficient reasons for long hair bein' romantic an' big earsnot. Anyway, I sh'd consider 't a man 's can clean a sink, 'n' _will_clean a sink, was a sight safer to marry 'n one 's whose big hit wasstandin' up the ends o' his mustache. 'N' besides, you can have the manwith the sink, 'n' the man with the mustache would n't even turn roundto look at you the first time. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Romance is a nice thing in its place. I 've had my own romances--fouron 'em, --'n' not many women can say that 'n' still be unmarried, Iguess. I 've lived 'n' I 've loved, as the books say; 'n' I 'vesurvived, as I say myself; 'n' you can believe me or not, jus' as youplease, Mrs. Lathrop, but I ain't got no feelin' toward you this nightbut pity. I would n't be you if I could--not now 'n' not never. I 'dreally liefer be the deacon, 'n' Heaven knows 't he 's got little enoughto look forward to hereafter. "

"I--" expostulated Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, if you keep me here much longer, I sha'n't getdown-town this afternoon; 'n' when you think how near Mrs. Jilkins 'scomin' to bein' related to you, it certainly will look very strange tothe community. "

As she spoke, Miss Clegg rapidly prepared herself for the street, andwith the last words she went toward the door. 

"If the deacon gets here afore I come back, " she said, pausing with herhand on the knob, "you 'd better say 's what he told me yesterday inconfidence 'n' what I told him in consequence is still a secret; it 'llbe pleasanter for you both so. "

"I--" said Mrs, Lathrop. 

"Good-by, " said Susan. 

Mrs. Lathrop slept some that afternoon and rocked more. She experiencedno very marked flutterings in the region of her heart; indeed, she wasastonished herself at the calmness of her sensations. 

The deacon had not come when Susan returned. Susan looked somewhatpuzzled. 

"Anybody been here since me?" she inquired, not facing her friend, butexamining the stovepipe with interest. 

"No; no--"

"Mrs. Jilkins is all safe, " she said next. 

"I'm so--"

"That automobile run 'way past Cherry Pond, 'n' their hired man see herridin' by 'n' made after her on a mule. The gasolene give out before themule did, so he hauled her home, 'n' the man in the cap come 'n' tookthe automobile back to town. "

"So it's all--"

"They all landed over at the drug-store 'n' got in 'n' started outfresh. Mr. Jilkins settled for the five hundred, 'n' they went offfeelin' real friendly. They run out across the square, an' then--" Susanhesitated. "You got a shock yesterday, " she said, still not looking ather friend, but speaking sympathetically, "'n' it seems too bad to giveyou another to-day; but you 'll have to know--"

"Heaven pro--" cried Mrs. Lathrop. 

"They run over the deacon comin' out o' the station. They did n't seehim, an' he did n't see them. He ain't dead. "

Mrs. Lathrop was silent. 

"Mrs. Allen took him home. Of course that means Polly 'll get him in theend. "

Mrs. Lathrop was silent for a long time. Finally she said verydeliberately:

"Maybe it's just as--"

"It's better, " said her friend, with decision; "for the man settled withthe deacon for fifteen hundred. "

 * * * * *

 OLD MAN ELY'S PROPOSAL

Mrs. Lathrop had been dumbfounded to see a horse and wagon being driveninto her neighbor's yard a little before noon one warm spring day. Hereyesight was not good enough to identify the horse's driver, but shehung breathlessly in her kitchen window and peered gaspingly out uponhis boldness and daring during the whole four minutes that it took himto hitch to a clothes-pole; and then, when the fell deed wasaccomplished, she watched him go in by the kitchen door, and waited, with a confidence born of a very good understanding of her neighbor'sviews as to driving in and hitching, to see him cast ignominiously forthby Miss Clegg. 

But even that omniscience of a friend's habits which may be acquiredduring a next-door residence for years sometimes fails, and Mrs. Lathrop, after an hour of more or less active bobbing in the window thatcommanded the best view of the rear of the house on the other side ofthe fence, was forced to see that the caller, whoever he might be, wasnot cast forth, and a further hour's attention showed that he did notquit the premises either just before or just after dinner. When Mrs. Lathrop had quite settled the last point to her complete satisfactionand un-understanding, she decided to give up watching and to go to sleepas usual. She slept until four in the afternoon, and when she awoke andhurried to the window the horse and wagon were gone. Susan seemed gonetoo, for her house looked very shut up and sounded more than silent. SoMrs. Lathrop went back forthwith to her chair and slept again, and thenext time she awakened it was her friend's voice that awakened her, asthe latter stood over her and demanded briskly, "Well, did you see him?"

"I--oh--oh--I--" began Mrs. Lathrop, vaguely. 

"I thought you could n't but see him, " said Susan, "hitchin' his horseto one o' my clothes-poles as large as life. If it 'd been any day inhis life but this one I 'd surely of told him frank 'n' open my views onhitchin' to my clothes-poles, but bein' as it was to-day I only told himmy views on drivin' over my grass. "

"But--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"The horse did n't bite the pole, " continued Susan; "he said as hewa'n't no cribber. I told him it wa'n't cribs as was the question, butclothes-poles, an' I might of spoken some stronger, but just then hestepped on the edge of the cistern cover 'n' I got such a turn as droveeverythin' else clean out o' my mind. You know how easy it is to turnthat cover, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I must say that if he and it had fell intogether there'd have been a fine tale to tell, for the cover alwayssinks straight to the bottom, 'n' is no joke to find 'n' fish up, --youand I both know that. Ever since the brace give way I 've always got iton my mind to keep the clothes-bars sittin' over it, but now the bracein the clothes-bars is give way too 'n' as a consequence they won't sitover nothin' no more. If money was looser I 'd certainly never spare itgettin' them two braces mended, but money bein' tight and me alone inthe house 'n' the most of my callers them as it 's all one to me whetherI see 'em in the parlor or in the cistern, I ain't botherin'. I wasnever one to worry an' scurry unnecessarily, Mrs. Lathrop, an' you knowthat as well as I do, 'n' to-day I had my mind all done up in mycurtains anyway, 'n' I was more'n' a little put out over bein'interrupted, even by a man as come in through the woodshed door, that Inever bolt 'cause it 's a understood thing as woodshed doors is not tobe come in at. The turn he give me when I hear him clutterin' aroun' inthe woodshed!--I thought he was rats, an' then a cat, an' then a rat an'a cat come together, an' then all of a sudden I see him an' rememberedthe cistern cover. "

"But who--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

Susan looked surprised. 

"Why, I thought you said you seen him, " she said; "you certainly give methat impression, Mrs. Lathrop. I 'd have took any vow anywhere as Iasked you if you seen him 'n' you said you did. It's funny if you didn't for he drove hisself in 'n' hitched hisself too, 'n' me up in thegarret when he done it, foldin' off my curtains to iron. My, to thinkhow I did hate the idea o' ironin' them curtains! Mother always ironedthe curtains. She said I was young n' she did n't mind anyhow. I ain'twashed 'em since. I 've been in the habit o' sayin' I was afraid it'dbring mother over me too much to take 'em down without her. That 's athing as this community can easy understand, f'r they leave all theirhard work layin' around for any reason a tall, and although I can't inreason deny as in most ways they 're as different from me as anythingcan be from me, still when it comes to ironin' curtains the stove is ashot on the just as on the unjust 'n' you can't mention nothin' hotter. "

"Did you--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sympathetically. 

"Well, I sh'd say I did. What I set out to do I always do whether it'scurtains or Mr. Kimball. Mr. Kimball has got a great idea as to hissharpness, but I guess if our sharp ends was under a microscope, he 'dbe the needle an' me the bee-sting most every day. It was too bad youwas n't to that lecture, Mrs. Lathrop, --I did learn a great deal. Notjust about the sting, but some very handy things. It seems if you goamong 'em quietly, they 'll let you take the honey out any time 'n' youcan buy the queens by mail in a box 'n' they 'll lay a whole hive aloneby themselves in no time. Mrs. Macy said she thought some of sendin' forone or two queens 'n' settin' 'em up in business in bushel baskets, butwhen she went home 'n' looked the baskets over 'n' thought what workit'd be to clean the honey out of 'em each fall she give up the idea. She's going to set out a orange tree in a flower pot instead. It says inthe 'Ladies' Home Diary' as they grow very nicely so. "

"But who--" interrupted Mrs. Lathrop, wrinkling up her face somewhatover the long strain on her eager attentiveness. 

"But I thought you said you seen him, " said her friend, with a secondrecurrence of her surprised expression; "did n't you see him when yousee him drivin' in? He was holdin' the reins at the big end o' the whip, I should suppose. I can't well see how you saw everythin' else withoutseein' him. He was some better dressed 'n' usual but it just shows whatbein' left a widower does for a man. It seems to somehow put new spiritin 'em 'n' sets 'em to wearin' ties again. Why, do you know when he cometo go he actually asked me to ride a piece with him 'n' show him whichfinger-post to turn in to, an' I will say as, where I would n't ofdreamed o' ridin' with him a week ago, I went to-day an' really enjoyedit. Yes, I did. "

"Was it--" cried Mrs. Lathrop, with a sudden gleam of intuition. 

Susan looked surprised for the third time. 

"Why, of course, " she said, "who else could it be?" Then she left herposition near the door, came over nearer to her friend, took a chair andbegan to untie her bonnet. 

"I don't know as I 'm surprised over your bein' surprised, Mrs. Lathrop, " she continued in a slightly milder tone after a brief pausefor vocal renovation. "I will confess as I was really nothin' butsurprised myself. I supposed as a matter o' course that to-day he was inMeadville buryin' her, 'n' when I first see him the funeral was sostrong in my mind as I thought he'd druv over to maybe borrow father'sblack bow for his front door. I made my mind right up to tell himstraight to his face as he couldn't have it, for I told you once as Iwas keepin' that bow for you, Mrs. Lathrop, an' when I promise anybodyanythin' I keep my word, whether it's a receipt or a bow for their ownfuneral, an' when I saw old man Ely it didn't take me no two minutes tokeep my word the same as ever, --'n' father's black bow too. But laws, hewas n't after no bow!--I very quickly found out as all as he was afterwas the funeral, f'r it seems as they was uncommonly spry with it. Hetold me right off as they had it pretty prompt too, for he says when itcomes to buryin' a wife there 's no need for a man to go slow, 'n' so hehad all Meadville up with the lark 'n' out after old Mrs. Ely. He seemedto feel all of a sudden as it was a little awkward me not havin' beenthere, but I saw how he felt 'n' made his mind easy by tellin' him frank'n' open that it was n't nothin' agin his wife as kept me here, for whenit come right square down to it I did n't know any one as I 'd enjoytheir funeral more 'n gettin' my curtains ironed; an' I may in truthrepeat to you as that 's so, Mrs. Lathrop, for although it may seem hardat first hearin', still we both know what it is to iron curtains, 'n' mymotto always is as a live lion has rights above a dead dog, and theproverb says as the dead is always ready to bury the dead anyhow. Oldman Ely seemed to look on it much as I did, for he did n't fiddle aboutnone with his affairs, but came right to the point an' told me fair an'square as, not havin' anythin' particular on hand after it was over, an'seein' clear as he was three miles out of his way anyhow, he 'd thoughthe 'd come on as far as Pete Sanderson's 'n' see about a cow as he 'dheard Pete had, 'n' then after that it looked to him like it was prettymuch a day for odd jobs straight through, so he come over here to getsome graftin's from our grape-vine. He said as father 'd told him onceas he could have some graftin's from the porch-vine if he 'd come andcut 'em, 'n' so he was come. I told him as when it was n't nothin' moreimportant than grape-vines father's words was ever my laws; so he wentout 'n' cut some pieces from the Virginia creeper an' come in perfectlysatisfied, 'n' I may in confidence remark as I was satisfied too for Iwas n't overpleased to have him meddlin' with the porch-vine. I willremark, though, as his cuttin' Virginia creeper for grape-vines didamuse me some, for it's been a well-known fact for years as Mrs. Ely wasMr. Ely in everythin' but the clothes he wore, 'n' they say the way shemanaged to figger-head him through plantin' 'n' harvest, 'n' pasture 'n'punkins, was nothin' short of genius, bred in the bone 'n' bustin' outevery seam. 

"Howsomesoever, he stayed 'n' stayed 'n' I ironed 'n' ironed, 'n' wetalked about the farm 'n' father 'n' how well he remembered father 'n'what a good daughter I was 'n' what a good wife Mrs. Ely was 'n' howwell he was goin' to bear it, 'n' I begun to wonder when he wasintendin' to go or whether he was thinkin' of stayin' all day, 'n' atlast there was nothin' but to ask him to dinner, 'n' I was n't intendin'to have no dinner on a'count o' the curtains. It's a very hard thing, Mrs. Lathrop, when you're not intendin' to have dinner to have to invitecompany for it, but there did n't seem no way to help it. I could n't indecency more than mention as Mrs. Brown was to home an' I knowed as theFishers was give to Irish stew on Tuesdays, but no, sir, there he satlike a bump on a log 'n' in the hind end I could n't but ask him to stay'n' have just cold pork 'n' beans on a'count o' the funeral. 'N' so hestayed. I set my irons back with a heavy heart 'n' said it seemed likesome days misfortunes never come single, for I 'd already seen awater-bug in the kitchen that very mornin'; but he seemed to havedecided to be thick-skinned, so I put on the tea-kettle 'n' brought outthe pork 'n' beans 'n' we sat down to eat. "

"Was--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, I should think he was, " replied Susan. "I never see such aappetite. He eat pork 'n' beans like he thought they was twins off avine, 'n' I had to finally get up 'n' clear away to save any a _tall_. Iset the tea-kettle by him 'n' told him to end by havin' all the tea hewanted to pour through the leaves by himself, 'n' I went back to myironin'. He sat there 'n' drank tea very happy for a long spell. Seemedlike it sort o' thawed him out, 'n' finally he begin to talk about_her_, 'n' once he got started on that he never quit. I ironed curtains'n' listened 'n' let him talk. It was n't long afore he begin to showthe disadvantages o' bein' dead, for he said as he was always thepractical one of them both, 'n' he'd never have dared say that with oldMrs. Ely on top of the earth. I was amused at his sayin' it anyhow, withthe Virginia creeper graftin's there in a tomato-can bearin' witnessagin him, but I didn't say nothin'. He asked me if I'd believe as shewas really a very fair-lookin' girl when they was married. I couldn'tbut stop at that 'n' ask him if it was ever possible as her nose wasever any different, 'n' he had to say 'No, not any different;' 'n' I canassure you as he set 'n' rubbed his chin with his hand a long timeafterwards 'n' then drew a big breath 'n' said 'No, not any different. 'I felt to respect his feelin's 'n' did n't say nothin', 'n' after awhile he went on an' said that they was very happy married on the whole, 'n' then he rubbed his chin with his hand a nother long while 'n' saidover again 'on the whole. ' He asked me then if I ever heard how he cameto marry her first 'n' I said as I always hear as it was to get thefarm. He kind of flared up at that 'n' said there never was nothin' aginher but her nose, 'n' at that I took a fresh iron 'n' said he asked me aplain question 'n' I give him a plain answer, which, considerin' hishorse 'n' my clothes-pole 'n' her nose, was all as could in reason beexpected of me. He softened down at that 'n' said as he was n't by nomeans meanin' to make light of his dead wife's nose, 'n' I said as, speakin' o' Mrs. Ely's nose bein' the one thing agin' her, it was thejoy of every other person as met her as it was agin her 'n' not aginthem, for it was a well-known fact as Mr. Kimball had said hunderds oftimes as if he had that nose an' leaned over a bridge 'n' see it in thewater he 'd be willin' to let it overbalance him then 'n' there 'n' bedrowned forever. He got pretty meek at that, for it showed as I was inearnest, 'n' he went on to say as it _was_ large, but he said as aforeshe took to that way of kind o' shrinkin' back of it it did n't look solarge, 'n' anyway she was his married 'n' buried wife. I told him I wascertainly glad to know that, seein' as they 'd lived together so manyyears, 'n' then he said it 'd really be nothin' but a joy to him to tellme how he come to marry her, so I said I 'd listen 'n' welcome 'n' hestarted in. 

"I must say this, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' that is that I soon see as it waslucky as I was n't feelin' no special call to talk any myself, for heset out in a most steady sort of a discouragin' down-pour, kind ofcross-your-legs 'n' clear-your-throat, 'n' I see as I was in for it 'n'just let him pour, for feelin's catches us all ways 'n' whatever he feltabout old Mrs. Ely it was plain as some one had got to hear it to thelast drop. So I let him drop away, 'n' I will in all fairness say, as amore steady spout I never see no one under. He never seemed to consideras how me or any one might perhaps enjoy to maybe make a remark fromtime to time, 'n' even when he ain't talkin' he 's got that way o'rubbin' his chin as makes it seem most impolite to bu'st in on. I didn'tcare much, though, 'cause I had the curtains, 'n' besides I may inconfidence state as when I really felt to speak I sailed right in anyhow'n' spoke what I wanted to. For I never was one to sit by 'n' have mytail calmly trod on, as you 'n' a great many others knows to your cost, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' then, too, each time when I see as he was nigh totippin' into the cistern it was really nothin' but a joy to him to knowit in time to hitch away. "

"Did--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"In the first place, " said Susan, "he asked me if I 'd mind his smokin'his pipe, 'n' I told him I most certainly would, so that ended thatsubjeck right up square at the beginnin'. Then he said he 'd beenmarried nigh on to forty years 'n' I told him to look out for thecistern 'n' he hitched along a piece 'n' begin again. 'N' then he seemedset a-goin' for keeps. 

"Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as he never had no family, but he says he was avery handsome young fellow for all that. I looked pretty hard at him, but he stuck to it 'n' I let it go. He went on to say as he growed upanyhow 'n' drifted to Meadville when he was long about twenty-four, 'n'went on to the Pearson farm. Oh, my, but he says that was a stony farm!I tell you but he rubbed his chin with his hand a long while afore hesaid all over again, 'but that _was_ a stony farm!' An' thegophers!--Well, he says whatever the Recordin' Angel has got down hebets he's skipped some o' them gophers. He says the hairs on your headis a mere joy to reckon up, 'n' fallin' sparrows too, beside themgophers. He says savin' a cent in the time o' Egypt 'n' seein' what you'd have now if you 'd only done it, is nothin' to the way them gopherson the Pearson farm was give to givin' in marriage. He says as it was avery stony farm, 'n' in between every two stones was one hole 'n' half adozen gophers to a hole, in the _single_ season. He says ploughin' waslike churnin' with nothin' but stones 'n' gophers in the churn. He saysthey was that tame they'd run up your legs 'n' up the horses' legs; hesaid maybe I would n't believe it, 'n' I told him I certainly would n't, so then he went on to another subjeck. 

"He says he used to plough through them gophers all day 'n' court Tillyall night. Tilly was old Mrs. Ely. He says she 'd never been courted ona'count of her nose, but he said he wanted a farm bad enough to bewillin' to never forget to tip his face pretty well crossways. He saysshe was so happy bein' courted that at first it made the gophers justseem like nothin' a tall, 'n' he says as you can't maybe get the fullsense o' that but it's there just the same. I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, you can see that man has suffered. I asked him was he afraid of micetoo, 'n' he bristled up pretty sharp 'n' said he wa'n't afraid ofgophers, only they took you so unawares. I had to tell him right thereto look out for the cistern lid, 'n' he hitched over by the table again'n' then he said, Well, so it went all summer. He said he got so tiredo' gophers, 'n' moonlight, 'n' hittin' her nose hard by accident, timeswhen he was n't thinkin', as he was nothin' but glad when September come'round. He says he 'd figgered all along on bein' married in September, 'n' he never for one moment mistrusted as he wouldn't be; but he says ofall the awful things to count on, Tilly Pearson was the worst. Oh! my, he says, but she was cranky! 'n' then he rubbed his chin with his hand along while 'n' then said 'cranky, ' over again in a very hard tone. Hesays would you believe it that after all his love-makin' along the firsto' September she begin to get terrible uppish 'n' throw her head aroun''n' put on airs 'n' he was just dumbfounded at her goin's on. "

"What--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Then he says one awful day when he was stackin' straw, Old Pearson toldhim flat 'n' plain as if he was n't goin' to marry Tilly, he need n'tcount on spendin' the winter as their company. Well, he says you canmaybe realize what a shock that was. He says his nose was just smashednumb 'n' his sleep was full o' grabbin' at 'em in his dreams 'n' now itlooked like all was for nothin' a _tall_. Still he says he scraped up asmile 'n' a cheerful look 'n' told Old Pearson as he was more 'n willin'to marry Tilly for his winter's board but it was Tilly as was makin' thetrouble. He says Old Pearson looked sort of surprised at that, but hethought a little while 'n' then he told him as if he was smart he 'dfind a way to bring Tilly to her senses, 'cause every woman had some wayto be brought to her senses, 'n' then he went off 'n' left him to think. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can see without any tryin' that that mansuffered. I pretty near stopped 'n' burnt jus' to listen to him. He saysas he sit there plum beside hisself 'n' most cried from not knowin' whatunder Heaven's name to do. He says he was placed most awful with winterstarin' him stark in the face 'n' no warm place to stay. He says nobodyknows how it feels to feel like he was forced to feel, --'nless they'vebeen expectin' to be married 'n' then been discharged themselvesinstead. He says he looked about most doleful 'n' wished he was dead oranythin' that's warm, 'n' then he got down from the stack 'n' set on aold wagon tongue 'n' jus' tried to figger on if there was n't no way ashe could think up as would make Tilly have him. He says the bitter partwas to reflect as he had to work to make Tilly have him, when it 'dreally ought by all rights to have been the other way. He says to thinko' that nose 'n' then him obliged to work 'n' slave to get hold of it!"

"I--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, he see it different, " said Susan; "he says, --'n' I can't inreason see how any one as knows as little as you, Mrs. Lathrop, can denyhim, --he says as no one as gets married easy at the end of courtin' canpossibly figger on the difficulties of gettin' married hard. He says itwas jus' beyond belief the way he felt as he set there reflectin' on hiswasted summer 'n' Tilly flippin' aroun' all unconcerned over him leavin'in the end. He says his blood begun to slowly begin to boil as he setthere thinkin', 'n' in the end he jus' up an' hit the wagon-tongue withhis fist 'n' said 'By Jinks!' 'n' he says when he says 'By Jinks, ' it_is_ the end, 'n' don't you forget it. 

"He says he 'd no sooner said 'By Jinks' than he thought of a plan, 'n'he says Lord forgive him if he ever thinks of such another plan. He sayswhat put it into his head Heaven only knows, only o' course he neverexpected as it would work out as it did. He says he thought as she 'dsee what he was up to 'n' stop him along half-way. But Oh, my, he says, you never can count on a woman, 'n' then he rubbed his chin with hishand for a long time 'n' said all over again 'never can count on awoman. '

"Well, he says after he'd thought o' the plan he went right to work tocarry it out. He says it was one o' them plans as dilly-dally is deathon. So he begun by makin' sure as she was pastin' labels on pickle-jarsin the back wood-house 'n' then he went out by the shed 'n' got some oldclothes-line as was hangin' there 'n' come round to where thebingin'-pole was 'n' whittled notches in it 'n' tied a piece o' the linehard aroun' the end. He says all the time he was tyin' he was countin'on her runnin' right out 'n' askin' him what under the sun he wasdoin', --but she never budged. "

"What--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, if you 'll keep still 'n' let me talk I 'll tell you, " said MissClegg; "I had to keep still while he told me, 'n' the Bible 's authorityfor sayin' as what man has done woman can always do too if she has amind to. --Well, he says then he bent the end of the pole around 'n' tiedit hard to one of the uprights of the shed so it was sprung around in aterrible dangerous manner 'n' he says when he got it all tied, he lookedup at the window 'n' why she did n't come out he can't to this day see. But she did n't--just stayed bobbin' around over her labels 'n' pastin'. Well, he says o' course he wa'n't in no hurry to go on to next part, sohe dragged the grin'stone out in plain view of her 'n' begun 'n'sharpened a hatchet most awful sharp. He thought as the hatchet wouldbring her anyhow, but still she did n't come out, --jus' stuck to herstickin' there in the window. I can't well see why he looked for her tocome out because my view would be as if you did n't want a man aroun', the more ropes an' hatchets he was inclined to the more I 'd let him tie'n' sharpen, but old Mrs. Ely was always another parts o' speech fromme. She never could eat her own chickens, they say, nor sausage her ownpigs, 'n' I s'pose he knowed her tender spots aforehand 'n' was layin'for 'em. Anyhow, to go back to him 'n' the grin'stone, he says you can'tunder no circumstances keep on sharpenin' a hatchet forever, 'n' soafter a while he _had_ to go on to the next part. He says he wasbeginnin' to feel kind o' shaky, but he took more line 'n' made aslip-noose 'n' tied it hard 'n' fast to the pole. He says he looked upreal bright 'n' hopeful then, but still she did n't come out, 'n' hesays he slid it up over his arm two or three times so she could n't butsee as it was a noose too. Oh, my, but he says he did begin to feel madat her then, --he says it wa'n't in reason as any man 'd be pleased at awoman's smilin' out of a window at him fixin' a noose in plain sight. Hesays he 'll leave it to any one dead or alive to get into his skin 'n'enjoy the way he was beginnin' to feel, but o' course he had to keep onwith his plan, 'n' he says next he laid the hatchet handy an' set down(Oh, my, but he says the ground sent up a cold chill up his back!) 'n'tied his feet to the other upright. Well, he says that foot-tyin' was nojoke, for he says he must of took fifteen minutes to it, for he was jus'about wild by this time, not knowin' what he _would_ do if she did n'tcome out _now_. He says no one knows what it is to begin a thing as youcount on _surely_ havin' stopped 'n' then not be stopped a _tall_. Hesays as the sentiments as he begun to get was too awful for any ordinarywords 'n' he would scorn to use the words as could describe 'em even ifhe knowed any such. Well, he says, at last, when he was through tyin'his feet, he turned 'n' looked at the window 'n' if she wa'n't gone toput up the jars, so he had no choice but to sit there on that coldground 'n' wait for her to come back. He said he hoped I 'd never knowwhat his feelin's was as he waited 'n' then he rubbed his chin with hishand a long time 'n' said all over again, 'as he waited. ' I told him itwas n't likely as I would, 'n' to look out for the cistern or he 'd knownew feelin's 'n' a new kind of waitin', so he had to hitch back by thetable again 'n' then he took a long breath before goin' on to the nextpart. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, he says when she come back from puttin' up the jarshe jus' could n't but feel as his hour was surely come. He says how heever done it he never has seen since, but he took up that noose 'n' putit over his head. He says as he did so he took a quick look at thewindow 'n' seen her lookin', 'n' he says he jus' hoped _surely_ she 'dgive a scream _now_ 'n' come runnin' out the kitchen-door. But he saysshe 'd disappointed him so often his heart was like lead, 'n he feltbluer 'n he 's ever felt any other time in his life. He says he fixedthe noose all smooth around his neck for five minutes or so, 'n' thenthere was nothin' in the wide world left for him to do but to take upthat awful sharp hatchet. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I vow I was interested in spite of myself. Hisvoice shook 'n' his hands too jus' with rememberin'. I really felt topity him--I did. He says he lifted the hatchet 'n' looked at the windowtryin' to hope fully 'n' securely as _this_ time she 'd _surely_ comeout screamin' 'n' runnin'. 'N' she never screamed 'n' she never run! Oh, my, but he says he was tremblin' from head to foot 'n' the cold sweatjus' poured over him. He says he took up the hatchet 'n' held itquiverin' in his quiverin' hand, 'n' then he made a weak hack at therope as tied the pole to the upright. He says he see her nose in thewindow as he hacked 'n' then he says no words can ever describe hisfeelin's when he suddenly learned as he 'd cut the rope!--He says henever had no more idea o' hittin' the rope than he had o' hangin'himself, 'n' he said when he very quickly felt as he 'd done bothnothin' can properly explain him!--He says the newspapers don't have noidea a _tall_ of how it feels or they 'd never print it so cool 'n'calm. He says cuttin' the rope let the pole loose 'n' the noose ran upon him 'n' choked him most terrible. My gracious, he says but carbolicacid 'n' Rough on Rats is child's play beside that grip on your throat. He says he never will forget how it felt, not if he lives to beMethusalem's great-grandfather. He says he got a most awful jerk fromhis head to his heels too as nigh to broke his ankles, 'n' a twist inhis wrist from the weight o' the hatchet, but he said he did n't have notime to take no a'count o' nothin' just then but the way everythin'turned red 'n' black 'n' run into his ears. "

"Did it kill--" cried Mrs. Lathrop, much excited. 

"I 'm goin' to tell you. --He says the last thing he knowed was Tilly'sshriek. O' course when he cut the rope she seen he 'd meant it all, 'n'so she grabbed up a carvin' knife 'n' yelled to her father 'n' run. Oldman Ely says it was good she run, for there was n't a minute to lose. Old Pearson run too from where he was in the barn but Tilly got therefirst. She didn't lose one second in sawin' him free at both ends 'n' hesays he was so nigh to dead that first he thought she was a gopher, 'n'then an angel. Oh, my, but he says he was dizzy at first, 'n' faint, 'n'queer in his ears. He sat 'n' thought about it all by himself for a longwhile this mornin' afore he went on again. He says no one ever realizeshow close they are to eternity unless they accidentally go 'n' dosuthin' so darn foolish as that. 

"Well, he says, after a while, after a long, long while, he felt to getto the house, 'n' then, he says, come one o' the strangest parts o' thestory--the part as shows how everythin' turns out for the best in theend. He says it's really most like a fairy-tale, 'n' jus' as if he 'dplanned it all to order. Seems when he tried to get up 'n' walk to thehouse Tilly wanted her father to help hold up his other side, 'n' shecould n't see where her father was. She started aroun' the shed to lookfor him 'n' there she found him stretched out flat. --Seems when she cutEly loose she let the pole fly roun' jus' in time to take her father inthe legs 'n' there he laid, not dead, but in a way as showed right offas some one else 'd have to run his farm from then on. Well, old man Elysays you need n't tell him as there ain't no All-wise Providence after_that_, 'n' he rubbed his chin with his hand a long, long while 'n'shook his head 'n' then said 'need n't tell _him_' all over again. Hesays he joined the church the very next Sunday 'n' him 'n' Tilly wasmarried in September like he 'd always planned. He says they was veryhappy on the whole 'n' after a while Old Pearson got where he got aroundpretty well, only for a crazy idea he had as suthin' unexpected wasgoin' to hit him sudden. He says he had the idea so strong as he neverwas free from it while he was alive 'n' it was a mercy when he died. Hesays as he see how good things can turn out, for, Tilly always jus'loved him half to death 'cause he 'd loved her enough to cut that ropein two. He says he means her to have a very handsome monument, 'n' if heever marries again he shall keep her picture in the parlor just thesame. "

"Do--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, I think he 'll try to, " said Miss Clegg, "but his other wife maynot see it in the same spirit, Mrs. Ely not bein' no great ornament, 'n'the farm is safe now anyhow. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop, further. 

"Yes, " said Susan, "I thought so myself but it did n't seem to strikehim that way. "

 * * * * *

 THE WOLF AT SUSAN'S DOOR

PART FIRST

MISS CLEGG'S SPECULATIONS

Mrs. Lathrop, rocking placidly in her kitchen window, was conscious of avague sense of worry as to her friend over the fence. It appeared to herthat Susan was looking more thin and peaked than nature had intended. Itis true that Miss Clegg was always of a bony and nervous outline, but itseemed slowly but surely borne in upon her older friend that of late shehad been rapidly becoming sharper in every way. Mrs. Lathrop felt thatshe ought to speak--that she ought not to lead her next door neighborinto the false belief that her sufferings were unnoticed by theaffectionate spectacles forever turned her way, --and yet--Mrs. Lathropbeing Mrs. Lathrop--it was only after several days of rocking andcogitation that the verbal die came to its casting. 

That came to be upon a summer evening, and it came to pass across thebarrier-fence where Miss Clegg had come to lean wearily, her shouldersand the corners of her mouth following the same dejected angle, whileher elderly friend stood facing her with a gaze that was at onceearnest, penetrating, and commiserating, and a clover blossom in hermouth. 

"Susan, " said Mrs. Lathrop, in a voice mournful enough to have renovatedJob; "Susan, I--"

Miss Clegg shut her eyes firmly and opened them sharply. 

"I 'm glad you have, " she said, in a voice whose tone was dividedbetween relief and reproach, --"I certainly am glad you have. I try to beclose-mouthed 'n' never trouble any one with my affairs, Mrs. Lathrop, but I will say as I have often wondered at how you could sit 'n' rock inthe face of what I 've been grinnin' 'n' bearin' these last few weeks. Not that rockin' is any crime, 'n' I always feel it must be fineexercise for the chair, but it 's hard for one who has the wolf at theirdoor, 'n' not only at their door, but nigh to bu'stin' it in, to seetheir dearest friend rockin' away, like wolf or no wolf she 'd go onforever. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked aggrieved. 

"Why, Susan--" she protested. 

"That ain't no excuse, " the friend said, not harshly but with a colddistinctness; "you may talk yourself blind if you feel so inclined, 'n'I don't say but what you really did n't mean nothin', but the factremains, 'n' always will remain, as you 've took a deal of comfortrockin' while I 've been kitin' broadcast tryin' to see if I could keepsoul 'n' body together or whether I 'd have to let one or the other of'em go. "

Mrs. Lathrop opened her mouth and eyes widely. 

"I never--" she gasped. 

Susan hooked herself on to the fence-rail with both her elbowspreparatory to a lengthy debate; her eyes were bright, her expressionone of unreserved exposition. Mrs. Lathrop continued to keep her eyesand mouth open, but reasons which will soon be known to the readerprevented her making another remark for a long time. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, I may as well begin by goin' 'way back to the beginnin'of everythin' 'n' takin' you right in the hide and hair of my wholetroubles. It ain't possible for you to realize what your rockin 's meantto me unless you understand to the full what I 've been goin' through'n' crawlin' under these last weeks. I want to spare your feelin's all Ican, for it ain't in me to be unkind to so much as a gooseberry, but Ican't well see how you can keep from bein' some punched by remorse whenyou hear how I 've been cleanin' house with a heavy heart 'n' no newmop. That's what I 've been doin', Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' so help me Heaven, it's death or a new mop next year. The way that mop has skipped dirt 'n'dripped water!--well, seein' is the only believin' when it comes tomops, but all I can say is that you never looked more spotty than I havesince that mop, 'n' you know how lookin' spotty is mortal agony tome--me not bein' one who can be happy rockin' on top of dirt. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I said I was goin' to begin at the beginnin', so Iwill, although the whole town knows as it was that fine scheme of Mr. Kimball's as set my ball bouncin' down hill. I was n't the only one asgot rolled over 'n' throwed out feet up, but I don't know as bein' oneof a number to lose money makes the money any more fun to lose. Mr. Dillwas sayin' yesterday as he would n't have listened to nothin' but whitefor Lucy's weddin'-dress if it had n't been for Mr. Kimball 'n' hislittle scheme, but I don't get any great comfort out of knowin' thatLucy Dill 's got to try 'n' get herself married in her Aunt SamanthaDill's blue bengaline. The blue bengaline 's very handsome 'n' I neversee a prettier arrangement of beads 'n' fringe, but every one says toomuch of Lucy shows at the top 'n' bottom to even be romantic. They _can_hook it, but Lucy can't stay hooked inside but five minutes at theoutside. I 'm sure I don't see how they 'll ever fix it, 'n' Gran'maMullins says she cries whenever she thinks that at Hiram's weddin' thebride won't have no weddin'-dress. Polly Allen wanted Lucy to open thedarts 'n' let in puffs like Mary Stuart's husbands always was puffed, but Lucy never see Mary Stuart 'n' the only picture in town of any ofher husbands has got him in bed with the sheet drawed up to his chin 'n'his hands folded right on top of where they 'd want to copy the darts. Such a picture ain't no help a _tall_, so Lucy is still shakin' her headthe same as at first. _My_ idea would be to make no wish-bones about it'n' just be married in her travelin'-dress 'n' then wear it when shegoes away, but it seems she wants her travelin'-dress for church, 'n'does n't mean to wear it travelin' anyhow, because she 'n' Hiram is justwild over the no-one-knowin'-they 're-married idea, 'n' Lucy is goin' towear old gloves 'n' some buttons off her shoes, 'n' Hiram is goin' towear his mother's spectacles 'n' Mr. Shores' store umbrella. Gran'maMullins feels awful over Hiram's goin' away like that; she says she 'sbrought him up so neat 'n' always a vest on Sunday 'n' onlyshirt-sleeves in summer, 'n' now to think of him goin' off on hisweddin'-trip in Mr. Shores' umbrella!--but Lucy don't care--nor Hiramneither--'n' they 're goin' to take along a piece of sand-paper 'n'sand-paper the shine off the ring on the train. Polly Allen 'n' thedeacon is laughin' to fits over them. Everythin' 's very different withPolly 'n' the deacon. The deacon says it ain't in reason as a man ofsixty-two can look forward to many more weddin's, 'n' he 's goin' to sitwith his arm around Polly, 'n' he don't care who chooses to suspeck they're weddin'-trippin'. They 're goin' to be all new clothes right throughto their skins, 'n' Polly 's goin' to have a orange-blossom bunch on herhat. The deacon says he 'll pay for all the rice folks are willin' tothrow, 'n' it 's a open secret as he 's goin' to give the minister agold piece. The minister was smilin' all over town about it until Mr. Kimball told him he see a gold quarter-of-a-dollar once. He's hopin' fora five, but Mr. Shores says he knows positive as the deacon got twotwo-dollar-and-a-halfs at the bank when his wife died, and he gave oneto the minister then 'n' probably he 's been savin' the other to getmarried again with. "

Susan paused for breath--a vital necessity--and then went on:

"But dear me, Mrs. Lathrop, all that ain't what I set out to tell you, 'n' even if it's a pleasure to you to hear it, it ain't in reason as Ishould take my time to talk to you about other people's affairs. You maybe interested in other people's affairs, but I ain't, 'n' we started totalk about mine 'n' what I set out to talk about I talk about or else Istay at home. It was my troubles as I was goin' to make a clean highbreast of, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I 'll lay any odds as by the time I getthrough you 'll have little feelin' to sleep in you. The Lord says, 'Tohim who hath shall be given, ' 'n' I will in confidence remark as I 'vejust been achin' to give it to you for these many days. You 've alwaysbeen poor, but you 've never seemed to mind; now I 'm poor (yes, Mrs. Lathrop, jump if you like"--for Mrs. Lathrop had started insurprise--"but it 's so) 'n' _I_ mind; I mind very much, I mind all up'n' down and kitty-cornered crossways, 'n' if I keep on gettin' poor, Lord have mercy on you, for I shall certainly not be able to look oncalmly at no great amount of rockin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop stared widely--and gasped openly. Susan continued:

"It all began with Mr. Kimball 'n' his gettin' the fever ofspeckilation. Mr. Kimball said he thought he 'd rather get rich quickthan not get rich at all. That was the way he put it 'n' it sounded sosensible 't I felt to agree. Then he begin to unfold how (he had thenewspaper in his hand), 'n' as soon as he was unfolded I read theadvertisement. It was a very nice advertisement an' no patent medicinecould have sounded easier to take in. You buy two rubber trees 'n' thenwait two years 'n' get fifty per cent till you die. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I went over that advertisement fifty times to try 'n' see what to do 'n'yet the more I studied it the less faith I had in it somehow. Thepicture of the man who tended the trees was up on top 'n' littlepictures of him made a kind of pearl frame around the whole, 'n' he washonest enough lookin', as far as I could judge, but--as I told Mr. Kimball--what was to guarantee us as he 'd stick to the same job steady, 'n' I certainly did n't have no longin' in me to buy a rubber tree insoutheast Peru 'n' then leave it to be hoed around by Tom, Dick, 'n'Harry. So I shook my head 'n' said 'no' in the end 'n' then we looked uprailway stocks. Mr. Kimball read me a list of millionaires 'n' he askedme if I would n't like to be called 'Susan Clegg, queen of the WesternPacific'--but I 'm too old to be caught by any such chaff, 'n' I toldhim so to his face, and then it was that we come to his favorite schemeof the 'Little Flyer in Wheat. ' That was what he called it, 'n' I mustsay that I think it's a pretty good name, only if I know myself I 'llbuy wheat as never sets down hereafter. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it took a deal of talkin' 'n' Mr. Kimball had to doa lot of figgerin' before my eyes afore I was ready to believe him whenhe said as five of us could go in together 'n' double our money everyfew days for a month or so. He showed me as what he was figgerin' fromwas printed in plain letters 'n' red ink in a city paper, 'n' after awhile I opened my mouth 'n' swallowed the whole thing, red ink 'n' all. Mr. Kimball, Mr. Dill, Mr. Shores, me, 'n' me over again, was the five, 'n' we bought the share right off, fully believin' as we 'd begin thewheat-flyin' the same way--" Susan paused and set her teeth a littlevigorously for a moment, --then:

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, that was the way it all begun, 'n' I can lay myhand anywhere 'n' swear as all my bad luck is founded solid on Mr. Kimball in consequence. The very day after we begun with our fly instidof doublin' he halved in the mornin' paper 'n' it seemed we 'd got tobuy him all over again or it was good-by Johnny. Me bein' the only onewith money known to be ready 'n' idle they brought the paper to me tosave the share, 'n' I can only say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I wish as you couldhave seen their faces when they saw mine. I saw I was a lamb sittin'among the sharks, but I see, too, as I 'd have to come to time 'n' I gotthe money, 'n' then we set down--Mr. Dill, Mr. Shores, 'n' me--to figgeron how much of the share was mine on the new deal. It struck me, 'n' itstrikes me now, 'n' it always will strike me, as any one as ownstwo-fifths of a thing and then buys the whole thing over again ownsseven-fifths of it from then on, but Mr. Dill had the face to tell me tomy face as it wa'n't so at all. He figgered the share at 100 'n' us paiddown at 50 'n' me all together as aggravatin' up to 45, 'n' I could onlysit starin' 'n' stark ravin' dumb to see where he would come out afterthat. I did n't say nothin' of what I felt to him or Mr. Shores, for thevery good reason as I wanted to save all my feelin's for Mr. Kimball, but I tell you that a volcano gettin' itself made in the beginnin' isfloatin' lily-pads beside the inside of me that hour. 

"I went down-town that afternoon 'n' I aired myself pretty thoroughlyover the whole town, I can assure you. Mr. Allen said I 'd better pocketmy loss 'n' give up dabblin' in stocks, but I did n't see no great sensein what he said. I did n't have nothin' to pocket, everything wasgone, --'n' so far as dabblin' goes I wa'n't dabblin', I was in up to mynose. But Mr. Kimball come out as brassy as a bass-drum 'n' showed me apicture of wheat layin' on his back in bed takin' a tonic with fourdoctors doin' up his room work for him. The doctors was all millionaireson that stock list of railroads 'n' I counted on their knowin' what theywere givin' him, so I come home quite a little easier, 'n' that night Islept like a ton of hay. But the next day!--my Lord alive, you rememberthe next day, don't you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' it must have been arsenic asthem four had put in his bottle, for I was up in the garret makin' athistle-down pillow 'n' there come Ed tearin' up on his bicycle to tellme as I must stick in ten dollars more on a margin. 'On a what?' Ihollered from the window. 'On a margin, ' he hollered from under theporch. Well, really, Mrs. Lathrop, I do believe if he had n't been underthe porch I would have throwed something down on him. My, but I was mad!I come down that garret-ladder like a greased pan 'n' I tied my bonneton 'n' walked straight in on Mr. Kimball. That was one time as he didvery little jokin', 'n' in the end he put in five of the ten himself 'n'then we both sat down 'n' tried to figger out as to how much of thatshare we each owned. I will confess as takin' down stoves was lookin'out of the window beside that job, 'n' in the end he made out as that ifthe share was worth the whole of itself I 'd own half, but bein' worthonly what had happened to it there was n't the half in the whole. So Icome home 'n' dreamed nothin' but nightmares runnin' wildly up 'n' downme. 

"You know what happened next!--it was the next mornin', 'n' I was makin'bread with a very heavy dough when Ed come bouncin' in for three dollarsmore margin. Well, I honestly thought I 'd bu'st. I blazed up so quick'n' so sudden that Ed fell back agin the table, 'n' then I shook tillthe window rattled. It was a good minute before I could speak, 'n' whenI spoke, I may in truth remark, Mrs. Lathrop, that I never spoke plainernor firmer in my life, --'Edward Andrews'--I says--'Edward Andrews, youpaddle yourself right back to Mr. Kimball 'n' tell him that my patienceis very short 'n' is gettin' shorter each minute, 'n' you may justcasually mention that I ain't got no more money to margin with not now'n' not never. If a thing as I 've paid nigh to eight-fifths for isshrunk to less than half of itself Mr. Dill 'n' Mr. Shores can marginfor it from now on--I'm done forever. ' 'N' I was done, too--but I neverbargained on what came next!--Mr. Kimball traded that share in wheat fortwo in a Refrigerator Trust 'n' never even so much as sneezed about itto me, 'n' I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I consider that the Bible sayin''Honor among thieves' ought to apply to me just as much as to any oneelse. 'N' there I went into the city as unsuspectin' as a can brimful ofbuttermilk 'n' bought a paper to read comin' home on the cars, 'n' whatshould I unfold but wheat runnin' up a ladder along with a bull to getout of the way of a lot of wild-lookin' lambs! The ladder-rungs wasnumbered 'n' I was sharp enough to see as them numbers was money 'n'that wheat had one leg safe on 110; so I kited home to sell out--'n' itwas then I learned about the Refrigerator!

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop!--well, _Mrs_. Lathrop, what do you think was myfeelin's then?--I tell you boilin' lava 'n' India's sunny strand was n'thotter than me that minute. Me--the backbone of the whole thing 'n' soldout like I was a mummy while I was in town buyin' darnin'-cotton!"

Miss Clegg shifted her weight to the other foot and drew a long, freshbreath. 

"Mr. Kimball 'n' me has never been the same since, " she continued withwarmth;--"we had enough to make us different, Heaven knows, for fromthat day on misfortune has just dogged and rabbited me, I know. Thewinter was so cold that the only way the Refrigerator Trust could comeout even was to burn up toward spring, 'n' the day it burnt wheat wassittin' on 140, kissin' his hand to the new crop. "

"But Mr. Kim--" interposed Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Oh, well, of course, havin' Mr. Shores fail right opposite brightenedeverything for him--I 'd smile myself if any one was to fail rightopposite me, 'n' I said just that very thing to Mr. Shores the mornin'after. I says, --I says, 'Mr. Shores, you must consider that this is aworld of ups and downs, 'n' that if you don't like to fail your failureis makin' Mr. Kimball happy 'n' your loss will be his credit. ' But Mr. Shores was too busy to talk, so I bought two skewers to encourage him'n' come out, 'n' within a week I found to my sorrow as I was prettyunpleasantly near to a mark-down sale myself. "

"It was--" observed Mrs. Lathrop, sadly. 

"Yes, " said her friend, "that's just when it was, --that very self-sameweek. I was in the square listenin' to Gran'ma Mullins' everlastin' taleof woe over Hiram 'n' Lucy, 'n' up come the blacksmith with a tale ofwoe for myself. Now, Mrs. Lathrop, you know me 'n' you 've known me along time 'n' you 've heard me tell this a good many times 'n' yet Iwant to ask you one time more, --_do_ you think any one but theblacksmith 'n' Mr. Dill would ever have blamed me for the crick'swashing out back of the blacksmith's 'n' lettin' the anvil 'n' the hindlegs of Mr. Dill's horse slide out sudden? Of course, I own theblacksmith shop 'n' of course I rent it, but--as I told him 'n' Mr. Dillboth that very day--nobody can't rent common sense nor yet keep track ofmen's washouts 'n' horses' hind legs. I knowed all the time I waswalkin' towards the crick that it was goin' to be a bad business, but Inever expected to see nothin' as looked like Mr. Dill's horse, 'n' Inever again shall hope to see nothin' as 'll look like Mr. Dill's looksas he looked at the horse. Not as his horse was n't worth lookin' ateither. His legs had gone out behind so far 'n' so unexpected that itseemed like he could n't get them high enough 'n' close enough to suithim, 'n' he just stood there drawin' them up alternate for all the worldlike a fly on fly-paper. Mr. Dill said he felt like if his horse was n'tever goin' to be able to h'ist his legs no quicker'n that he 'd have tohave damages, 'n' at that word I nigh to sat right down. I tell youwhat, Mrs. Lathrop, Mr. Weskin has bred this damage idea too deep intothis town for any comfort. It 's got to where it's better to hurtyourself most any way than to damage some one else only a little. Iwould n't take the chances of sayin' 'shoo' to a hen on a slipperymornin', 'n' things has come to a pretty pass when you 've got toconsider a hen's back-slidin's. Such bein' the case I felt more 'n alittle troubled when Mr. Dill said damages, but I tried to look on thebright side, 'n' I told him that it seemed to me that a proper-mindedhorse would have hauled in his legs when he felt himself slippin' inhalf. Mr. Dill said his horse unfortunately could n't see with his tail'n' was also brought up to consider anvils as solid. I answered as all Icould say was as it was a great pity as his horse was n't built enoughlike the rest of the world to have better hindsight than foresight, --'n'then I looked at the anvil in the crick--'n' then I come home. "

"'N' that--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sadly. 

"Yes, that very night!--it was that very night that the lightnin' struckmy house"--Susan halted a moment to turn and look at the house. "I neverwill see why the lightnin' had to strike my house, Mrs. Lathrop, withyours so handy right next door; but it did strike it--'n' me insidesleepin' the sleep of the nigh to poverty-stricken 'n' done-up, 'n'never as much as dreamin' of bein' woke by a brick bouncin' out of myown flesh 'n' blood stove-hole. My heavens alive! what a night that was, 'n' even if nothin' catched fire everythin' in kingdom come rained in, 'n' when mornin' come 'n' I see what a small hole it was after all Iwould n't ever have believed it if you 'd swore it till the week afterdoomsday. "

"And then--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sympathetically. 

"Yes, 'n' then come the roof-mendin'. I never can feel to blame myselfthere because I did n't want to pay no carpenter, 'n' you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, as it looked just as easy to get up on that roof as tofall off any other. I hung the shingles around my neck 'n' put the nailsin my mouth 'n' the hammer down my back, 'n' then I went up the lattice'n' got over the little window on to the ridge-pole. You know, Mrs. Lathrop, how simple it all seemed from the ground, 'n' I was to just sitedgeways from the end of the peak right along up to the hole, but you've heard me remark afore 'n' I will now remark again as no one on theground has any notion of ridge-poles as they really are. A ridge-polefrom the ground, Mrs. Lathrop, looks like it could n't be fell off, butfrom itself it feels like it could n't be stuck on to, 'n' I thought I'd swallow the last one of them nails gaspin' afore I got to the hole. You saw me tryin' to get to the hole, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' then you saw metryin' to get the hammer. I thought I 'd go somer-settin' head overheels afore I got it fished out 'n' then there was n't no place to layit down!

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I never shall be able to look back on that day andhour without a cold conscience. It was certainly a awful time. I took anail out of my mouth 'n' a shingle off my neck 'n' made ready to begin. I took the hammer 'n'--just then--I looked down--'n' if there was n'tthe minister 'n' his wife just turnin' in my gate!

"Well, of course, that came nigh to endin' me ever 'n' ever! NoChristian would ever dream of answering her front-door bell from herback ridge-pole, 'n' I never was one to do nothin' as folks could talkof. I see it was do or die right then or there 'n' I made a quick slidefor the porch roof. You know what happened, 'n' I never have felt toforgive the minister, even if it was n't him as drove that unexpectednail in my roof. Mrs. Lathrop, we 've spoke of this afore, 'n' I 'vesaid then, 'n' I 'll say now, that in spite of my likin' for you, _no_one as rocks forever on a cushion can be able to even surmise what it isto slide quick over a unexpected nail, 'n' so it was only natural thateven in the first hour I never looked for anything from you but Pond'sExtract. But I may remark further--for it 's right you should know--thatnothin' in my whole life ever rasped me worse the wrong way of my hairthan to watch you rockin' that fortnight that I had my choice to standup or go to bed, 'n' even in bed I had to get up 'n' get out if I wantedto turn over. Mr. Shores told Mrs. Macy as probably it was the sun ashad drawed that nail, 'n' all I can say is that I hope if it was the sun'n' he ever takes it into his head to draw another of my nails, that he'll either draw it completely out or leave it completely in, for I knowas I never want to come down from another ridge-pole by way of anothernail--not while I 'm alive anyhow. "

A short pause and a long sigh. Mrs. Lathrop sighed, too. 

"Then come the bill from the carpenter 'n' from young Doctor Brown, 'n'for raisin' the anvil, 'n' I was hardly onto _my_ legs before Mr. Dill'shorse quit his hind ones. Mr. Weskin was up 'n' doin' as usual 'n'advised bringin' a joint suit with the blacksmith for the anvil 'n' mefor the crick, but even if I was helpless the blacksmith wa' n't goin'to be sued if he could do anything else, 'n' he brung Mr. Dill up to seeif we could n't arbitrate ourselves. Mr. Dill 's always been very niceto me, but that wheat-fly made him so mad to be paid something bysomebody that it took the blacksmith 'n' me and four glasses of rootbeer to bring him to reason. In the end he said if the blacksmith wouldshoe everything he owned till it died 'n' if I would put up Lucy'scurrants till I died that he 'd call them two legs straight. We wrote apaper 'n' signed it 'n' I went to bed, 'n' seemed like my trials werecertainly more than any mortal could stand under, particularly when youconsider that a good deal of the time I had n't been able to sit down. 

"I don't see why any one should be surprised over me lookin' worried. Itsays in the Bible that if you 'n' Mohamet ain't on the mountain you 'rebound to have the mountain 'n' Mohamet both on you, 'n' I must say Ibelieve it's true. I 've had to take the ten dollars as I never touch, 'n' the ten as I never will touch, 'n' the ten as I never will touch sohelp me Heaven--'n' spend 'em all. 'N' I don't know what I am goin' todo now, I 'm sure. Bein' yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, you can't in reason beexpected to understand what it is to me to have no one but you to turnto. You 've got your good points, but you ain't no hand to have ideasnor yet to advise. I 've been slow in comin' to that view of you, but I've got to it at last, 'n' got over it, 'n' I 'm walkin' alone now onthe further side. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked apologetic, but remained tritely silent. Susanbacked away from the fence. 

"It 's gettin' damp, " she said; "you 've got rheumatism anyway, so youdon't care if you take cold, but I ain't very anxious to, 'n' so I thinkwe 'd ought to go in. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded, and turned to go. 

"I hope I have n't made you feel uneasy, Mrs. Lathrop, " Susan said, asshe also turned; "you know me well enough to know as if I come tostarvation it would never be nothin' but a joy to me to see you starvewith me. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded. 

Susan nodded. 

And thus they parted for the night. 

PART SECOND

GRAN'MA MULLINS'S WOE

It was some days later--a summer afternoon. The setting sun wasbrightening the western sky, and Susan, with her bonnet on and hersun-shade leaning beside her, sat on Mrs. Lathrop's porch and discoursedin a fashion that partook alternately of the lively and of the dejected. Mrs. Lathrop rocked calmly and listened yet more so. 

"Things is goin' worse 'n' worse, " said the caller; "I 've had to bringmyself down to doin' my own weedin', so as to save that ten cents a weekI give Augustus, 'n' Lord knows I 'd gladly put up anything for anybody, but everybody in this town puts up themselves. I don't know how I willget along if suthin' don't turn up, 'n' I can't see what can turn upwith every one head over ears deep in the weddin's 'n' young DoctorBrown settin' the whole town mad over the crick. That 's a very strangething about the crick, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' it seems to be pretty generallyadmitted now that inside or out the crick 's good for most anything inanybody, but this new idea as it 's a sure cure for asthma is just doin'folks up alive. Young Doctor Brown says he's been investigatin' underhis own microscope, 'n' he says there ain't a doubt but the crickpolliwogs can eat up the asthma polliwogs as fast as you can shake 'emtogether in a bottle. He 's goin' to Meadville 'n' shake 'em up for oldDoctor Carter, 'n' then he 's goin' to send to the city for a pint oftyphoid fever 'n' a half-pint of diphtheria 'n' let 'em loose on that. Mr. Kimball asked him if he was positive which side was doin' theswallowin' 'n' if he had the crick ones wear a band on their left armswhen they went into battle, but young Doctor Brown explained as therecould n't be no mistake, for asthma has got four claws in its tail andthe crick has horns all over. Mrs. Macy says, under them circumstancesshe shall make her tea with boiled rain-water hereafter, 'n' she saysshe ain't sure as she 's got enough faith left in the crick to evenscrub with it. "

"If I--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Gran'ma Mullins is a good deal upset, " said Susan; "she don't like thenotion of young Doctor Brown's bringin' so much typhoid and diphtheriainto town just as Hiram 's goin' to get married a _tall_. She says she's got enough to worry over about Hiram without that. She says she 'sfeelin' worse over him every day. She can't talk about it withoutchokin'. She says she 's got his rattle and his first sock pinned up bythe clock, so every time she looks up at the time she can see 'em 'n'cry again. She says it ain't in reason as Lucy 'll ever understandHiram. She says Hiram 's a very singular disposition, but if you alwaysask him to do what you don't want done 'n' to never do what 's got to bedone right off he 's one of the handiest men around the house as sheever see. She says he eats a lot of sugar 'n' you must n't notice it, 'cause he always says as he never does; and he most never goes tochurch, but you must n't tell him so, 'cause he says he goes regular, 'n' she says as he likes to keep molasses candy in his pockets 'n' underhis pillow, 'n' heaven knows, likin' molasses candy ain't no crime, andyet she 's almost sure Lucy 's goin' to make his life miserable over it. She says her cup was full enough without no pint of diphtheria added, 'n' I d'n know as I ever see any one more downhearted. Mrs. Macy 'n' mestayed and shook our heads with her for a while 'n' then we went on tMrs. Allen's to look at Polly's weddin' things. Every one in town isgoin' to look at Polly's weddin' things, 'n' you 'd really suppose asthe deacon was any one in the world but the deacon to see how they 'vefixed Polly up to marry him. Four of everythin' 'n' six o' some. Onlynot a apron in the whole, --the deacon would n't have it. He said rightout as he wa'n't marryin' Polly to work her to skin 'n' bone, and heknows how he wants his house kept 'n' his cookin' done, so he 'll justkeep on keepin' 'n' cookin' as usual. He 's fixed up a good deal; thecanary bird 's got a brass hook after all these years o' wooden-peggin', 'n' he 's bought one o' them new style doormats made out o' wire with'Welcome P. W. ' let into it in green marbles. 'P. W. ' stands for 'PollyWhite, ' 'n' Mr. Kimball told Mr. Macy they had a awful time oversticking the marbles in 'n' a awful time gettin' the letters to suit. The deacon was for 'P. W. ' all along 'n' Polly was for the deacon, butMrs. Allen was for Polly's name, because Polly ain't married yet, 'n'they got P. A. Stuck in afore any one knowed how it'd look, 'n' thenthey tried to patch it up with a 'W' added 'n' that seemed like it was anew way to say to be sure 'n' wipe your feet. Mr. Kimball told Mrs. Macyhe nigh to died laughin', 'n' he did n't mind how he broke his nailspickin' marbles in 'n' out when he could have so much fun. So theysettled for 'P. W. , ' 'n' Mrs. Macy 's more than a little bitter over itall, for she says the deacon 'll soon come to his senses 'n' then it'llbe too late to get that 'P. W. ' off of his door-mat again. But thedeacon ain't carin'. He's friskin' around like a colt, 'n' they say he's got two new suits of clothes 'n' a new hat for the goin' away. He wasalways that way though--I recolleck Mr. Kimball's sayin' when Mrs. Whitedied that the deacon had been dyein' his hair 'n' bein' patient for overfifteen years. 

"Well--about them weddin' things of Polly's!--Mrs. Allen took meupstairs 'n' I saw 'em all. The weddin' veil is looped along thelamberquin with a glove pinned to each curtain, the dress hangs on aframe between against the window shade, 'n' the under things is foldedon a table at one side with the stockin's tied together in a truelovers'-knot. I must say they 've done it all real tasty, with thedeacon's picture in the middle leanin' up against her shoes. It 's aopen question about the shoes still, 'cause if Polly wears any shoes a_tall_ it only makes her that much more higher than the deacon, but Mrs. Allen says, seein' as it 's as it is, she hopes Polly 'll only think o'how the higher her heels is the more room it 'll give her train tospread. It 's a very handsome train 'n' they 've measured so 's it 'llmake the next set o' parlor curtains at the Whites'. 

"I declare, Mrs. Lathrop, I can't tell you how all these weddin's 'n'talkin's do blue me up! To see every one spendin' money 'n' me withoutany even to save. Mr. Dill asked me yesterday if I did n't want to takeGran'ma Mullins to board for the honeymoon, an' I suppose I could maybedo it, but oh my! I can't say as I take to that idea much. I 'm fond o'Gran'ma Mullins, but these days Hiram is nothin' but a bottomless pitwhen she gets at him, 'n' a honeymoon is a long time to hear one persontalk about one person. I can 't say as I ever had anythin' again Hiramexcept that time 't he did n't catch Jathrop to lynch him, but all thesame I ain't over fond o' any one as goes around with their mouthhalf-open the year through. Mr. Kimball said once as Hiram Mullins wasthe best design for a penny bank as he ever saw, 'n' Polly Allen saysshe 's more 'n sorry for Lucy, 'cause no matter how hard Lucy was totry, Polly says it stands to reason as she could n't get more 'n half akiss at once. Mrs. Allen giggled, 'n' we all did, too, 'cause the deaconcarries his mouth so tight shut that it's a question if Polly ever getsa kiss a _tall_. 

"Mrs. Brown says Doctor Brown is gettin' surer 'n' surer about thecrick. He 's been paintin' the cat with asthma 'n' then washin' him incrick water, 'n' Mrs. Brown says he wa'n't dead up to the time he runaway anyhow. "

"That big--" queried Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Yes, with the yellow eyes. He 's been gone a week, but they don't care. Mrs. Brown says that cat was so everlastin'ly around that he made herfeel like she was married again, 'n' she was glad to have him light out. She says he was so like a man it was awful, --wantin' to sit by the fire'n' think till you was dyin' to empty the tea-kettle over his head, 'n'forever placidly yawnin' when you was turned a hundred ends at once. Mrs. Brown says Amelia 's goin' to give a wash-cloth shower for Pollyand Lucy day after to-morrow. She says young Doctor Brown says if hecomes out on top about that crick-cure for asthma Amelia can do anythin'she pleases. He says this town 'll be a real cure then, 'n' we 'll seeno end of money flow into us, --she says he says we can all take boardersat fancy prices 'n' serve 'em to the crick at a penny a glass. I don'tknow but what I might take a few quiet boarders myself that way. They 'dbe quiet because they could n't be lively, 'n' the asthma 'd choke 'emto where they could n't eat much. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I could have 'Liza Em'ly to help me, I presume. I could advertise 'n'when they answered I could go in town 'n' look at them and take my pick. I 'd want to be sure as they were quiet, 'n' I 'd want to be sure asthey were sick--I would n't take no chances at havin' one o' thesemerry-go-round summer families land on me, I know. Like as not there 'dbe a boy, 'n' you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, that while a boy mayperhaps accidentally happen to be a comfort he 's very much more likelyjust to be a boy. "

"Yes, " said Mrs. Lathrop--"I--"

"Yes, o' course, " said Susan, "'n' look where he come out! If Jathrophad been a girl how different everything would have been for him--not tospeak o' the rest of us. You can't deny that, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' youcan't deny either as Jathrop would have been better off himself if he 'dbeen any other thing as God ever made. "

"He--" said the mother. 

"You thought so, " said Susan, "but nobody else ever did. Mothers isalways mothers 'n' the best will in the world don't seem able to help'em out o' the scrape. There's Gran'ma Mullins just cryin' her eyes outthese days over Hiram, 'n' you 'd think Lucy was a sea-serpent and Hiramwas chained to a rock to hear her go on. She says she 's raised Hiram socareful to be a comfort to her all these years 'n' she says he promisedher when he was only two 'n' a half years old that he 'd never smoke nordrink nor get married. She says she 's trusted him all his life 'n' thisis the first time as he ever broke his word to her. She says all hislittle ways is just so sweet, but she feels sure Lucy won't never lethim dip his bread in the platter-gravy 'n' Hiram 's so _awful_ fond ofplatter-gravy. She says he likes to have the potato-smasher right by hisplace at the table 'n' pound the meat to make more juice come out, 'n'she says it 's been nothin' but a joy to her always to let him, 'causehis father died when he wa'n't but eleven months old. But she says shejust knows Lucy 'll be death on Hiram's potato-smasher, 'n' she says shemost feels as if Lucy was goin' to be death on Hiram, too. She says shecan't look at Hiram these days without chokin' over thinkin' how Lucy 'sgoin' to look at him inside o' three months. She says Hiram 's a verytender nature, he can't be hurried awake mornin's, 'n' if he wakes up inthe night he _has_ to have gingerbread 'n' whistle till he drops off tosleep again. She says no one as really loved Hiram would mind suchlittle trifles as that, but she says she has her doubts as to Lucy'sreally lovin' Hiram, 'n' even if she does really love him now, she saysit ain't no reason as she 'll keep on lovin' him long. She says timealone 'll tell what the end 'll be, 'n' she only hopes 'n' prays thatwhatever Lucy does or does n't do, that she 'll never forget as she waswell 'n' richly warned beforehand, for she says she went herself instreamin' tears 'n' begged her not to marry Hiram, an' she 's keptstraight on till now she 's almost done it. "

Susan ceased speaking and took up her parasol. 

"Are--" remonstrated Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I must, " said her neighbor; "I 'm hungry 'n' I want time to beat upsome soda-biscuit. It 's no use your askin' me to stay to supper, because my heart is set on soda-biscuit 'n' I like my own better thanany one could ever like yours. I don't say that unkindly, Mrs. Lathrop, for I ain't got a unkind thing about me, 'n' I could n't lay anything upagainst you even if I wanted to. Even when I get all at outs with youover your rockin' I never lay it up against you--we 've been friends toomany years. If you can be happy rockin' through life till some fine dayyou rock over backward into your coffin, all I can say is that it won'tbe my funeral, 'n' bein' as it will be yours, I shall be too busy thatday to fuss over ifs 'n' ands. I 'm keepin' the board 'n' saw-horses asfather had for you, 'n' the black bow from his door-bell, too, 'n' afteryou 're done with them I 'm intendin' to give them to the first needy'n' deservin' person as comes along in need of 'em. "

Susan started down the steps. 

"But--" protested Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Probably not, " said her friend, "but you never can tell. Anyhow I 'mgoin' now. You don't appear to consider how valuable my time is, Mrs. Lathrop, but that 's another thing as I don't lay up against you. "

 * * * * *

For the next week Miss Clegg's financial difficulties rubbed on in muchthe same way. So did the wedding preparations of Polly Allen and LucyDill. Debts and dates are two things which are famous for movement, andin between her periods of repose in her own house and of activity abouttown Susan seized every chance possible to impart the impending state ofevery one's affairs to her neighbor. 

"The blacksmith was up again last night, " she said one sunny morning, when the need of hanging out her wash had brought her and Mrs. Lathropwithin conversational distance; "he wants to have his rent a littlelowered so as he can bric-à-brac the side of the crick himself. He saysthere 's stones enough to do it, only he must hire a man to help him. Itold him I 'd consider it, 'n' goin' out in the dark he fell over thescraper. I declare I got a damage-suit chill right down my spine 'n' Irun out with a candle, 'n', thank heaven, he had n't broke nothin' butthe scraper. I 've been wonderin' if it would pay to sue him for that, but I don't believe I will, because folks has been fallin' over it eversince father nailed it to the front o' the step so 's to let his petweasel go back 'n' forth at the side. The weasel 's been dead for ages, but the scraper 's never been changed. I wish I could remember thatweasel. Father loved him 'n' mother hated him, --she said she was alwaysfindin' him asleep in her shoes and sleeves. I was speakin' about it toGran'ma Mullins to-day 'n' she said she remembered comin' to tea atmother's once 'n' their findin' the weasel in the tea-pot. I guessthat's the first time Gran'ma Mullins has spoken of any livin' soul butHiram in six months. She 's feelin' worse than ever over Lucy's decidin'to be married at home on account o' the blue bengaline. She says that'sa extra turn o' the ice-cream-freezer handle as she never counted onhavin' to submit to. She says she naturally supposed if Hiram gotmarried as she 'd sit in the front pew for once in her life, 'n' see thebride's dress good, 'n' hear the answers plain, 'n' now instid her onlychild, as she 's loved like a mother ever since he was born, is goin' tobe married in a parlor as private as if he was bein' buried from thesmallpox! She says, oh dear, oh dear, seems like she never will be ableto live down that mirror as she smashed with her head the first time shesaw what she looked like. She says she wa'n't more 'n nine months old'n' yet that mirror has tagged her right through life ever since. Shesays she missed all her school examinations 'n' did n't get the deacon'n' did get her husband, 'n' as if that wa'n't enough she must needslose her husband, 'n' she 's had no choice but to be a widow ever since, 'n' she 's been sprained in all directions 'n' been broke in alldirections 'n' her mince-meat 'most always ferments 'n' Hiram 's beenher one bright spot 'n' now he 's got to get married in a parlor. Shesays the worst is as it would draw bread right out of a stone to see howcheerful Hiram is these days, --she says any one would suppose as LucyDill was goin' to surely make him happy to see how he goes smilin'around. She says it 's one of the most pathetikest sights as she eversee to watch Hiram markin' off the days on his calendar, 'n' she criedwhen she told me. She says no one need n't tell her as there 's any oneelse like Hiram, for she knows him well enough to know as it could n'tpossibly be true. And then she cried again. I tell you what, Mrs. Lathrop, I may be pretty well churned up over my money troubles, but Ican assure you as I feel like a monkey jumpin' through three rings atonce beside Gran'ma Mullins. Mrs. Macy says that when Hiram goes to seeLucy you can hear her sobbin' way to the crick, --Mrs. Macy says thefirst night she thought it was Mr. Jilkins comin' into town with a hotwheel. I would n't be surprised myself to see Gran'ma Mullins drop deadwhen she hears Lucy get Hiram for better for worse. It 's awful to see amother suffer so. I don't see how Hiram stands it. If I was him 'n' shehad a stroke at my wedding I should call it a stroke o' luck 'n' nothin'else. Not that I don't feel kindly disposed towards Gran'ma Mullins, butI 'm pretty tired hearin' her tale o' woe. Other folks' troubles isgenerally more interestin' to other folks than they are to me, andbesides, if it really comes to talkin' of troubles, nobody ain't got nomore to talk about than I have myself. This money question is nippin' mesharper in the calves every day, and when Mrs. Macy told me yesterday asher steps was givin' out I felt like sittin' down on 'em when they doneit. Lord knows, I 'd never be one to wave my flag from no post-hole inthe thick of no flight, 'n' you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, that as ageneral thing I keep a stiff upper-cut through black and blue, but stillif Mrs. Macy's steps really do break down I feel like I shall have nochoice but to Jack-and-Jill it after 'em. "

"Maybe--" suggested Mrs. Lathrop, hopefully. 

"Well, I ain't a-expectin' it anyhow. I 'm expectin' ruin, 'n' I canhear it howlin' and nosin' around my house all night long. Somethin' wasswimmin' in the cistern last night, too, --if it made the other side safeI 'm all right, but if it drowned there 'll be another bill. It ain't nouse your tryin' to cheer me up, Mrs. Lathrop, because I ain't to becheered. I know I 'm goin' to the poorhouse, 'n' I don't thank you norno other man for tellin' me to my face as what I know ain't so. Gran'maMullins 'n' me is two very sad hearts these days, 'n' Heaven help usboth. To hear her talk you 'd think the Siamese twins was the sun andmoon apart compared to her 'n' Hiram, 'n' now she 's got to give him upto Lucy Dill. She says Lucy ain't old enough to appreciate Hiram; shesays Lucy 'll expect Hiram to be pleased, 'n' Hiram ain't never pleased;she says when Hiram keeps still 'n' don't say nothin' he's pleased, 'n'when he goes to bed 'n' to sleep right off he 's real pleased. She saysLucy won't understand, 'n' then there 'll be trouble. She says troubleis a awful thing to have, 'n' she knows all about it 'cause she had itwith her husband. She says the only good o' havin' trouble with yourhusband is the comfort you get out o' talkin' about it, 'n' that whenshe thinks as Lucy 'll get her comfort out o' talkin' about Hiram shepretty nearly gets up and goes right out of her mind. "

Susan stopped suddenly; she had been standing with her basket in herhand, in the attitude of one arrested for a moment's inquiry, throughoutthis conversation. 

"Did you--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Yes, I did. It was n't no great joy, pinched as I am, but I believe indoin' what you can for people gettin' married--God help 'em--'n' I give'em each somethin'. I give Lucy a very good pair of scissors as motherhad, as always grabs me in the joint so I can't use 'em, 'n' I givePolly our best carvin' knife. They was both sharp things, so they eachhad to give me a cent to hold on to friendship. I know two cents ain'tmuch, but it 's better 'n nothin', 'n' I may tell you in confidence, Mrs. Lathrop, as all my presents 'll be sharp right along from now on. "

Mrs. Lathrop raised her eyebrows to testify to the acute perceptionwhich had grasped her friend's point at once. 

"Are you--" she asked presently. 

"Goin' to the weddin's?--oh, yes. It may make me a little blue to lookat Lucy, but it could n't but cheer anybody to compare themselves withGran'ma Mullins. She says it 's goin' to half murder her, 'n' she 'smade Hiram promise as he 'll give her his first husband's kiss. Lucy 'sgot the idea as she 'll have a weddin' procession o' Mr. Dill 'n' her, an' Hiram 'n' his mother, down the stairs 'n' in through the backparlor. Hiram don't want to, 'cause he 's afraid his mother won't let goof him when the time comes. Hiram says he ain't lived through these lastweeks o' half stranglin' without knowin' what he 's talkin' about allright, but Lucy 's dead set on the procession. They 're goin' to try 'n'keep Polly 'n' the deacon a little back 'n' out o' sight, 'cause there's a many as thinks as half o' Gran'ma Mullins's tears is for thedeacon, only she can't say so. Mrs. Allen says every one is talkin' thatidea, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit says she hopes to Heaven as it ain't so, for howthe deacon is to be kept a little back God only knows, for he 's sohappy these days that he 's more than ever everlastin'ly on tap. Mrs. Sperrit 's been very kind; she 's goin' to take Gran'ma Mullins to theDills', 'n' she says she 'll take her home afterwards. Gran'ma Mullinsis goin' to carry ammonia 'n' camphor, 'n' be sure an' have the corksout of 'em both. "

"I wish--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Yes, I do, too, " said her friend, heartily, "but I 'll come 'n' tellyou about them both right afterwards. I d'n know as I was ever morecurious in my life than I am to see how Lucy is going to claw Hiram freelong enough to marry him. 'N' I 'm interested in Polly's weddin', too. But there is no use deceivin' you as to one thing, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n'that is as what interests me the most of all, is what under the sun I 'mgoin' to do myself to get some money. I can't live on bread 'n' wateralone, 'n' even if I could, the flour 'll soon give out if I bread italong steady for very long. I 've got to get some money somehow, 'n' I've about made up my mind as to what I 'll have to do. It makes me sickto think of it, 'cause I hate him so, but I guess I 'll have to come toit in the end. I 'll go to the weddin's, 'n' then I 'll brace up 'n'make the leap. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked perturbed--even slightly anxious. 

"I 'm sorry not to be able to tell you all my plans, " Miss Cleggcontinued, "but--"

She stopped suddenly--a train-whistle had sounded afar. 

"My heavens alive! if that ain't to-day's ten-o'clock comin' fromMeadville, 'n' me solemnly promised to be at Lucy's at half-past nine tohelp Mrs. Macy stone raisins! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I would n't havebelieved it of you if I had n't been a eyewitness!--"

PART THIRD

LUCY DILL'S WEDDING

"Well, Lucy has got Hiram!"

There was such a strong inflection of triumphant joy in Miss Clegg'svoice as she called the momentous news to her friend that it would havebeen at once--and most truthfully--surmised that the getting of Hiramhad been a more than slight labor. 

Mrs. Lathrop was waiting by the fence, impatience written with awandering reflection all over the serenity of her every-day expression. Susan only waited to lay aside her bonnet and mitts and then hastened tothe fence herself. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, you never saw nor heard the like of this weddin' day inall your own ays to be or to come, 'n' I don't suppose there ever willbe anything like it again, for Lucy Dill did n't cut no figger in herown weddin' a _tall_, --the whole thing was Gran'ma Mullins first, last'n' forever hereafter. I tell you it looked once or twice as if it wouldn't be a earthly possibility to marry Hiram away from his mother, 'n'now that it 's all over people can't do anything but say as after allLucy ought to consider herself very lucky as things turned out, for ifthings had n't turned out as they did turn out I don't believe anythingon earth could have unhooked that son, 'n' I 'm willin' to swear thatanywhere to any one. 

"Do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, that Gran'ma Mullins was so bad off lastnight as they had to put a mustard plaster onto her while Hiram went tosee Lucy for the last time, 'n' Mrs. Macy says as she never hear thebeat o' her memory, for she says she 'll take her Bible oath as Gran'maMullins told her what Hiram said 'n' done every minute o' his life whilehe was gone to see Lucy Dill. 'N' she cried, too, 'n' took on the wholetime she was talkin' 'n' said Heaven help her, for nobody else could, 'n' she just knowed Lucy 'd get tired o' Hiram's story 'n' he can't behappy a whole day without he tells it, 'n' she 's most sure Lucy won'tlike his singin' 'Marchin' Through Georgia' after the first month ortwo, 'n' it 's the only tune as Hiram has ever really took to. Mrs. Macysays she soon found she could n't do nothin' to stem the tide except todrink tea 'n' listen, so she drank an' listened till Hiram come homeabout eleven. Oh, my, but she says they had _the_ time then! Gran'maMullins let him in herself, 'n' just as soon as he was in she bu'st intofloods of tears 'n' would n't let him loose under no consideration. Shesays Hiram managed to get his back to the wall for a brace 'causeGran'ma Mullins nigh to upset him every fresh time as Lucy come overher, 'n' Mrs. Macy says she could n't but wonder what the end was goin'to be when, toward midnight, Hiram just lost patience 'n' dodged outunder her arm 'n' ran up the ladder to the roof-room 'n' they could n'tget him to come down again. She says when Gran'ma Mullins realized as hewould n't come down she most went mad over the notion of her only son'sspendin' the Christmas Eve to his own weddin' sleepin' on the floor o'the attic 'n' she wanted to poke the cot up to him, but Mrs. Macy saysshe drew the line at cot-pokin' when the cot was all she 'd have tosleep on herself, 'n' in the end they poked quilts up, 'n' pillows, 'n'doughnuts 'n' cider 'n' blankets, 'n' Hiram made a very good bed on thefloor 'n' they all got to sleep about three o'clock. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, what do you think? What _do_ you think? They was soawful tired that none of 'em woke till Mrs. Sperrit come at eleven nextday to take 'em to the weddin'! Mrs. Macy says she hopes she 'll be putforward all her back-slidin's if she ever gets such a start again. Shesays when she peeked out between the blinds 'n' see Mrs. Sperrit'sSunday bonnet 'n' realized her own state she nearly had a fit. Mrs. Sperrit had to come in 'n' be explained to, 'n' the worst of it was asHiram could n't be woke no-how. He 'd pulled the ladder up after him 'n'put the lid on the hole so 's to feel safe, 'n' there he was snug as abug in a rug 'n' where no human bein' could get at him. They hollered'n' banged doors 'n' sharpened the carvin' knife an' poured grease onthe stove 'n' did anything they could think of, but he never budged. Mrs. Macy says she never was so close to beside herself in all her lifebefore, for Gran'ma Mullins cried worse 'n ever each minute, 'n' Hiramseemed like the very dead could n't wake him. 

"They was all hoppin' around half crazy when Mr. Sperrit come along onhis way to the weddin' 'n' his wife run out 'n' told him what was thematter 'n' he come right in 'n' looked up at the matter. It did n't takelong for _him_ to unsettle Hiram, Mrs. Macy says. He got a sulphurcandle 'n' tied it to a stick 'n' h'isted the lid with another stick, 'n' in less 'n two minutes they could all hear Hiram sneezin' an' comin'to. 'N' Mrs. Macy says when they hollered what time it was she wishesthe whole town might have been there to see Hiram Mullins come down toearth. Mr. Sperrit did n't hardly have time to get out o' the way 'n' hedid n't give his mother no show for one single grab, --he just bouncedinto his room 'n' you could have heard him gettin' dressed on the farside o' the far bridge. 

"O' course, us at Lucy's did n't know anythin' a _tall_ about Mrs. Macy's troubles. We had our own, Heaven help us, 'n' they was enough, for the very first thing of all Mr. Dill caught his pocket on the cornerof Mrs. Dill 'n' come within a ace of pullin' her off her easel. Thatwould have been a pretty beginnin' to Lucy's weddin' day if her fatherhad smashed her mother's glass to bits, I guess, but it could n't havemade Lucy any worse; for I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I never see no onein all my born life act foolisher than Lucy Dill this day. First she 'dlaugh 'n' then she 'd cry 'n' then she 'd lose suthin' as we 'd _got_ tohave to work with. 'N' when it come to dressin' her!--well, if she 'dknown as Hiram was sleepin' a sleep as next to knowed no wakin' shecould n't have put on more things wrong side out an' hind side before!She was n't dressed till most every one was there 'n' I was gettin'pretty anxious, for Hiram was n't there neither, 'n' the more fidgetypeople got the more they caught their corners on Mrs. Dill. I just savedher from Mr. Kimball, 'n' Amelia saw her goin' as a result o' JudgeFitch 'n' hardly had time for a jump. The minister himself was beginnin'to cough when, all of a sudden, some one cried as the Sperrits wasthere. 

"Well, we all squeezed to the window, 'n' such a sight you never saw. They was gettin' Gran'ma Mullins out 'n' Hiram was tryin' to keep herfrom runnin' the color of his cravat all down his shirt while she wassobbin' 'Hi-i-i-i-ram, Hi-i-i-i-i-ram', in a voice as would wring yourvery heart dry. They got her out 'n' got her in an' got her upstairs, 'n' we all sat down 'n' begin to get ready while Amelia played 'Lead, Kindly Light' and 'The Joyous Farmer' alternate, 'cause she'd mislaidher Weddin' March. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you never knowed nothin' like it!--we waited, '_n_'we waited, '_n_' we waited, 'n' the minister most coughed himself intoconsumption, 'n' Mrs. Dill got caught on so often that Mr. Kimball toldEd to stand back of her 'n' hold her to the easel every minute. Ameliawas just beginning over again for the seventeenth time when at last weheard 'em bumpin' along downstairs. Seems as all the delay come fromLucy's idea o' wantin' to walk with her father 'n' have a weddin'procession, instid o' her 'n' Hiram comin' in together like Christians'n' lettin' Mr. Dill hold Gran'ma Mullins up anywhere. Polly says shenever see such a time as they had of it; she says fightin' wolves waslayin' lambs beside the way they talked. Hiram said frank 'n' open asthe reason he did n't want to walk in with his mother was he was sureshe would n't let him out to get married, but Lucy was dead set on theprocession idea. So in the end they done it so, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins'ssobs fairly shook the house as they come through the dinin'-room door. Lucy was first with her father 'n' they both had their heads turnedbackward lookin' at Hiram 'n' his mother. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it was certainly a sight worth seein'! The way thatGran'ma Mullins was glued on! All I can say is as octopuses has gottheir backs turned in comparison to the way that Hiram seemed to be allwrapped up in her. It looked like wild horses, not to speak of LucyDill, would n't never be able to get him loose enough to marry him. Theminister was scared; we was all scared. I never see a worse situation tobe in. 

"They come along through the back parlor, Lucy lookin' back, Mr. Dillwhite as a sheet, 'n' Hiram walkin' like a snow-plough as is n't surehow long it can keep on makin' it. It seemed like a month as they wasunder way before they finally got stopped in front o' the minister. 'N'then come _the_ time! Hiram had to step beside Lucy 'n' take her hand'n' he could n't! We all just gasped. There was Hiram tryin' to getloose 'n' Mr. Dill tryin' to help him. Gran'ma Mullins's tears drippedtill you could hear 'em, but she hung on to Hiram like he 'd paid forit. They worked like Trojan beavers, but as fast as they 'd get one sideof him uncovered she 'd take a fresh wind-round. I tell you, we all justheld our breath, 'n' I bet Lucy was sorry she persisted in havin' aprocession when she see the perspiration runnin' off her father 'n' poorHiram. 

"Finally Polly got frightened 'n' begun to cry, 'n' at that the deaconput his arm around her 'n' give her a hug, an' Gran'ma Mullins looked upjust in time to see the arm 'n' the hug. It seemed like it was the lasthay in the donkey, for she give a weak screech 'n' went right over onMr. Dill. She had such a grip on Hiram that if it had n't been for Lucyhe 'd have gone over, too, but Lucy just hung on herself that time, 'n'Hiram was rescued without nothin' worse than his hair mussed 'n' onesleeve a little tore. Mr. Sperrit 'n' Mr. Jilkins carried Gran'maMullins into the dinin'-room, 'n' I said to just leave her fainted tillafter we 'd got Hiram well 'n' truly married; so they did. 

"I never see the minister rattle nothin' through like thatmarriage-service. Every one was on whole papers of pins 'n' needles, 'n'the minute it was over every one just felt like sittin' right straightdown. 

"Mrs. Macy 'n' me went up 'n' watered Gran'ma Mullins till we broughther to, 'n' when she learned as it was all done she picked up wonderful'n' felt as hungry as any one, 'n' come downstairs 'n' kissed Lucy 'n'caught a corner on Mrs. Dill just like she 'd never been no trouble tono one from first to last. I never see such a sudden change in all mylife; it was like some miracle had come out all over her 'n' there wasn't no one there as was n't rejoiced to death. 

"We all went out in the dinin'-room 'n' the sun shone in 'n' every onelaughed over nothin' a _tall_. Mrs. Sperrit pinned Hiram up from insideso his tear did n't show, 'n' Lucy 'n' he set side by side 'n' lookedlike no one was ever goin' to ever be married again. Polly 'n' thedeacon set opposite 'n' the minister 'n' his wife 'n' Mr. Dill 'n'Gran'ma Mullins made up the table. The rest stood around, 'n' we was allas lively as words can tell. The cake was one o' the handsomest as Iever see, two pigeons peckin' a bell on top 'n' Hiram 'n' Lucy runnin'around below in pink. There was a dime inside 'n' a ring, an' I got thedime, 'n' they must have forgot to put in the ring for no one got it. "

Susan paused and panted. 

"It was--" commented Mrs. Lathrop, thoughtfully. 

"Nice that I got the dime?--yes, I should say. There certainly was n'tno one there as needed it worse, 'n', although I 'd never be one to calla dime a fortune, still it is a dime, 'n' no one can't deny it thehonor, no matter how they feel. But, Mrs. Lathrop, what you 'd ought tohave seen was Hiram 'n' Lucy ready to go off. I bet no one knows they're brides--I bet no one knows _what_ they are, --you never saw the likein all your worst dreams. Hiram wore spectacles 'n' carpet-slippers 'n'that old umbrella as Mr. Shores keeps at the store to keep from bein'stole, 'n' Lucy wore clothes she 'd found in trunks 'n' her hair incurl-papers, 'n' her cold-cream gloves. They certainly was a sight, 'n'Gran'ma Mullins laughed as hard as any one over them. Mr. Sperrit drove'em to the train, 'n' Hiram says he 's goin' to spend two dollars a dayright along till he comes back; so I guess Lucy 'll have a good time foronce in her life. 'N' Gran'ma Mullins walked back with me 'n' not oneword o' Hiram did she speak. She was all Polly 'n' the deacon. She saidit wa'n't in reason as Polly could imagine him with hair, 'n' she saidshe was thinkin' very seriously o' givin' her a piece o' his hair as she's got, for a weddin' present. She said Polly 'd never know what he waslike the night he give her that hair. She said the moon was shinin' 'n'the frogs were croakin', 'n' she kind o' choked; she says she can'tsmell a marsh to this day without seein' the deacon givin' her thatpiece of hair. I cheered her up all I could--I told her anyhow he couldn't give Polly a piece of his hair if he died for it. She smiled a weaksmile 'n' went on up to Mrs. Brown's. Mrs. Brown 's asked her to staywith her a day or two. Mrs. Brown has her faults, but nobody can't denyas she 's got a good heart, --in fact, sometimes I think Mrs. Brown'sgood heart is about the worst fault she's got. I 've knowed it lead herto do very foolish things time 'n' again--things as I thank my star I 'dnever think o' doin'--not in this world. "

Mrs. Lathrop shifted her elbows a little; Susan withdrew at once fromthe fence. 

"I must go in, " she said, "to-morrow is goin' to be a more 'n full day. There 's Polly's weddin' 'n' then in the evenin' Mr. Weskin is comin'up. You need n't look surprised, Mrs. Lathrop, because I 've thought thesubject over up 'n' down 'n' hind end foremost 'n' there ain't nothin'left for me to do. I can't sell nothin' else 'n' I 've got to havemoney, so I 'm goin' to let go of one of those bonds as father left me. There ain't no way out of it; I told Mr. Weskin I 'd expect him at sharpeight on sharp business, 'n' he 'll come. 'N' I must go as aconsequence. Good night. "

PART FOURTH

MR. JILKINS'S HAT

Polly Allen's wedding took place the next day, and Mrs. Lathrop came outon her front piazza about half past five to wait for her share in theevent. 

The sight of Mrs. Brown going by with her head bound up in a whitecloth, accompanied by Gran'ma Mullins with both hands similarly treated, was the first inkling the stay-at-home had that strange doings had beenlately done. 

Susan came next and Susan was a sight! Not only did her ears stand upwith a size and conspicuousness never inherited from either her fatheror her mother, but also her right eye was completely closed and shewalked lame. 

"The Lord have mercy!" cried Mrs. Lathrop, when the full force of herfriend's affliction effected its complete entrance into herbrain, --"Why, Susan, what--"

"Mrs. Lathrop, " said Miss Clegg, "all I can say is I come out betterthan the most of 'em, 'n' if you could see Sam Duruy or Mr. Kimball orthe minister you 'd know I spoke the truth. The deacon 'n' Polly is bothin bed 'n' can't see how each other looks, 'n' them as has a eye isgoin' to tend them as can't see at all, an' God help 'em all if youngDr. Brown an' the mud run dry!" with which pious ejaculation Susanpainfully mounted the steps and sat down with exceeding gentleness upona chair. 

Mrs. Lathrop stared at her in dumb and wholly bewildered amazement. After a while Miss Clegg continued. 

"It was all the deacon's fault. Him 'n' Polly was so dead set on bein'fashionable 'n' bein' a contrast to Hiram an Lucy, 'n' I hope to-nightas they lay there all puffed up as they 'll reflect on their folly 'n'think a little on how the rest of us as did n't care rhyme or reason forfolly is got no choice but to puff up, too. Mrs. Jilkins is awful mad;she says Mr. Jilkins wanted to wear his straw hat anyhow, 'n' she saysshe always has hated his silk hat 'cause it reminds her o' when she wasyoung 'n' foolish enough to be willin' to go 'n' marry into a family aswas foolish enough to marry into Deacon White. Mrs. Jilkins is extra hotbecause she got one in the neck, but my own idea is as Polly Allen'sweddin' was the silliest doin's as I ever see from the beginnin', 'n'the end wa'n't no more than might o' been expected--all thingsconsidered. 

"When I got to the church, what do you think was the first thing as Isee, Mrs. Lathrop? Well, you 'd never guess till kingdom come, so I mayas well tell you. It was Ed 'n' Sam Duruy 'n' Henry Ward Beecher 'n'Johnny standin' there waitin' to show us to our pews like we did n'tknow our own pews after sittin' in 'em for all our life-times! I justshook my head 'n' walked to my pew, 'n' there, if it was n't looped shutwith a daisy-chain! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish you could have been thereto have felt for me, for I may remark as a cyclone is a caterpillar woveup in hisself beside my face when I see myself daisy-chained out o' myown pew by Polly Allen. Ed was behind me 'n' he whispered 'That'sreserved for the family. ' I give him one look 'n' I will state, Mrs. Lathrop, as he wilted. It did n't take me long to break that daisy-chain'n' sit down in that pew, 'n' I can assure you as no one asked me to getup again. Mrs. Jilkins's cousins from Meadville come 'n' looked at mesittin' there, but I give them jus' one look back 'n' they went 'n' satwith Mrs. Macy themselves. A good many other folks was as surprised asme over where they had to sit, but we soon had other surprises as tookthe taste o' the first clean out o' our mouths. 

"Just as Mrs. Davison begin to play the organ, Ed 'n' Johnny come downwith two clothes-lines wound 'round with clematis 'n' tied us all inwhere we sat. Then they went back 'n' we all stayed still 'n' could n'tbut wonder what under the sun was to be done to us next. But we did n'thave long to wait, 'n' I will say as anythin' to beat Polly's ideas Inever see--no--nor no one else neither. 

"'Long down the aisle, two 'n' two, 'n' hand in hand, like they thoughtthey was suthin' pretty to look at, come Ed 'n' Johnny 'n' Henry WardBeecher 'n' Sam Duruy, 'n' I vow 'n' declare, Mrs. Lathrop, I never wasso nigh to laughin' in church in all my life. They knowed they wasfunny, too, 'n' their mouths 'n' eyes was tight set sober, but some onein the back just _had_ to giggle, 'n' when we heard it we knew as thingsas was n't much any other day would use us up this day, sure. Theystopped in front 'n' lined up, two on a side, 'n' then, for all theworld like it was a machine-play, the little door opened 'n' out comethe minister 'n' solemnly walked down to between them. I must say we wasall more than a little disappointed at its only bein' the minister, 'n'he must have felt our feelin's, for he began to cough 'n' clear up histhroat 'n' his little desk all at once. Then Mrs. Davison jerked out theloud stop 'n' began to play for all she was worth, 'n' the door behindbanged 'n' every one turned aroun' to see. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, we saw, --'n' I will in truth remark as such asawin' we 'll never probably get a chance to do again! Mrs. Sweet saysthey practised it over four times at the church, so they can't deny asthey meant it all, 'n' you might lay me crossways 'n' cut me intochipped beef 'n' still I would declare as I would n't have the face toown to havin' had any hand in plannin' any such weddin'. 

"First come 'Liza Em'ly 'n' Rachel Rebecca hand in hand carryin'daisies--of all things in the world to take to a weddin'--'n' then comeBrunhilde Susan, with a daisy-chain around her neck 'n' her belt stuckfull o' daisies 'n'--you can believe me or not, jus' as you please, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' still it won't help matters any--'n' a daisy stuck in everybutton down her back, 'n' daisies tangled up in her hair, 'n' a bunch o'daisies under one arm. 

"Well, we was nigh to overcome by Brunhilde Susan, but we drawed somefresh breath 'n' kept on lookin', 'n' next come Polly 'n' Mr. Allen. Iwill say for Mr. Allen as he seemed to feel the ridiculousness of itall, for a redder man I never see, nor one as looked more uncomfortable. He was daisied, too--had three in his buttonhole;--but what took us allwas the way him 'n' Polly walked. I bet no people gettin' married everzigzagged like that before, 'n' Mrs. Sweet says they practised it bycountin' two 'n' then swingin' out to one side, 'n' then countin' two'n' swingin' out to the other--she watched 'em out of her attic windowdown through the broke blind to the church. Well, all I can say is, thatto my order o' thinkin' countin' 'n' swingin' is a pretty frame o' mindto get a husband in, but so it was, 'n' we was all starin' our eyes offto beat the band when the little door opened 'n', to crown everythin'else, out come the deacon 'n Mr. Jilkins, each with a daisy 'n' a silkhat, 'n' I will remark, Mrs. Lathrop, as new-born kittens is blood-redmurderers compared to how innocent that hat o' Mr. Jilkins looked. Anyone could see as it was n't new, but he was n't new either as far asthat goes, 'n' that was what struck me in particular about the wholething--nothin' 'n' nobody was n't any different only for Polly'sfoolishness 'n' the daisies. 

"Well, they sorted out 'n' begun to get married, 'n' us all sittin'lookin' on 'n' no more guessin' what was comin' next than a ant looksfor a mornin' paper. The minister was gettin' most through 'n' thedeacon was gettin' out the ring, 'n' we was lookin' to get up 'n' outpretty quick, when--my heavens alive, Mrs. Lathrop, I never will forgetthat minute--when Mr. Jilkins--poor man, he's sufferin' enough for it, Lord knows!--when Mr. Jilkins dropped his hat!

"That very next second him 'n' Ed 'n' Brunhilde Susan all hopped 'n'yelled at once, 'n' the next thing we see was the minister droppin' hisbook 'n' grabbin' his arm 'n' the deacon tryin' madly to do hisself upin Polly's veil. We would 'a' all been plum petrified at such goings onany other day, only by that time the last one of us was feelin' to hopand grab 'n' yell on his own account. Gran'ma Mullins was tryin' to slapherself with the seat cushion, 'n' the way the daisies flew as folkswent over 'n' under that clematis rope was a caution. I got out as quickas I--"

"But what--" interrupted Mrs. Lathrop, her eyes fairly marble-like intheir redundant curiosity. 

"It was wasps!" said Susan. "It was a young wasps' nest in Mr. Jilkins'shat. Seems they carried their hats to church in their hands 'cause Pollydid n't want no red rings around 'em, 'n' so he never suspected nothin'till he dropped it. 'N' oh, poor little Brunhilde Susan in them shortskirts of hers--she might as well have wore a bee-hive! I will inconfidence remark as I got off easy, 'n' you can look at me 'n' figgeron what them as got it hard has got on them. Young Dr. Brown went rightto work with mud 'n' Polly's veil 'n' plastered 'em over as fast as theycould get into Mrs. Sweet's. Mrs. Sweet was mighty obligin' 'n' turnedtwo flower-beds inside out 'n' let every one scoop with her kitchenspoons, besides runnin' aroun' herself like she was a slave gettin'paid. They took the deacon 'n' Polly right to their own house. Theycan't see one another anyhow, 'n' they was most all married anyway, soit did n't seem worth while to wait till the minister gets the use ofhis upper lip again. "

"Why--" interrogated Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Young Dr. Brown wanted to, " said Susan, "he wanted to fill my ears withmud, 'n' my eye, too, but I did n't feel to have it done. You can't dieo' wasps' bills, 'n' you can o' young Dr. Brown's--leastways when youain't got no money to pay 'em, like I ain't got just at present. "

"It 's--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Yes, " said Susan, "it struck me that way, too. This seems to be a veryunlucky town. Anything as comes seems to catch us all in a bunch. Thecow most lamed the whole community 'n' the automobile most broke itsback; time 'll tell what 'll be the result o' these wasps, but therewon't be no church Sunday for one thing, I know. 

"'N' it ain't the least o' my woes, Mrs. Lathrop, to think as I 've gotto sit 'n' smile on Mr. Weskin to-night from between two such ears as ison me, for a man is a man, 'n' it can't be denied as a woman as ismainly ears ain't beguilin'. Besides, I may in confidence state to you, Mrs. Lathrop, as the one as buzzed aroun' my head wa'n't really no waspa _tall_ in comparison to the one as got under my skirts. "

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes were full of sincere condolence; she did not evenimagine a smile as she gazed upon her afflicted friend. 

"I must go, " said the latter, rising with a groan, "seems like I neverwill reach the bottom o' my troubles this year. I keep thinkin' there'snothin' left 'n' then I get a wasp at each end at once. Well, I 'll comeover when Mr. Weskin goes--if I have strength. "

Then she limped home. 

 * * * * *

It was about nine that night that she returned and pounded vigorously onher friend's window-pane. Mrs. Lathrop woke from her rocker-nap, went tothe window and opened it. Susan stood below and the moon illuminated hersmile and her ears with its most silvery beams. 

"He 's just gone!" she announced. 

"Yes, " said Mrs. Lathrop, rubbing her eyes. 

"He's gone; I come over to tell you. "

"What--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I would n't care if my ears was as big as a elephant's now. "

"Why--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, you know as I took them bonds straight after father died'n' locked 'em up 'n' I ain't never unlocked 'em since?"

Mrs. Lathrop assented with a single rapt nod. 

"Well, when I explained to Mr. Weskin as I 'd got to have money 'n' howwas the best way to sell a bond, he just looked at me, 'n' what do youthink he said--what _do_ you think he said, Mrs. Lathrop?"

Mrs. Lathrop hung far out over the window-sill--her gaze was the gaze ofthe ever earnest and interested. 

Susan stood below. Her face was aglow with the joy of the affluent--hervery voice might have been for once entitled as silvery. 

"He said, Mrs. Lathrop, he said, 'Miss Clegg, why don't you go down tothe bank and cut your coupons?'"

 * * * * *

 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN

Miss Clegg sat in Mrs. Lathrop's rocking-chair, on Mrs. Lathrop'skitchen stoop. Mrs. Lathrop sat at her friend's feet, picking overcurrants. If she picked over a great many she intended making jelly; ifonly a few, the result was to be a pie. 

Susan had on her bonnet and mitts and held her sun-umbrella firmlygripped between her two hands and her two knees. She looked weary andworn. 

"It seems kind o' funny that I bothered to go, now that I come to thinkit over, " she said, gazing meditatively down upon her friend and herfriend's currant-picking; "I wa'n't no relation of Rufus Timmans, 'n'although I don't deny as it 's always a pleasure to go to any one'sfuneral, still it's a long ways to Meadville, 'n' the comin' back wasmost awful, not to speak o' havin' no dinner nowhere. It never makes noone brisk but a horse to go without eatin', 'n' I must in consequencesay 't I was really very sorry as Rufus was dead durin' the last part ofthe drive; but o' course he was a very superior man, 'n' as aconsequence nobody wanted to have it said in after life as they wa'n'tto his buryin'. So I went along with the rest, 'n' Heaven help me now, for I never was more beat out in all my life. I was up awful early thismornin' to be sure o' not bein' left, 'n' I may in confidence remark asI 've thought many times to-day as if I had been left I 'd of been asight better off. Long rides is very frisky for them as is young 'n' inlove 'n' likes to drive alternate, but for a woman o' my age, bein'wedged solid for sixteen miles at a time is most tryin'; 'n' comin' backsome o' them smart Meadville boys had the fine idea o' puttin' walnutsunder the seats, 'n' we rode most of the way thinkin' as they was ourbones till Mr. Dill jus' got up 'n' whopped his cushion over to see ifit 'd feel any different the other side, 'n' I may state as the resultsI shall remember till I die. "

"Who--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Everybody!" said Susan; "I never knowed how superior Rufus was till Isee how folks turned out for his funeral. Every minister 'n' doctor inthe whole vicinity was there. The Lumbs drove way up from Clightville, got overturned in the brook by the old knife factory, but come alongjust the same. Old Mr. 'n' Mrs. Trumbull started day before yesterday assoon as they knowed he was dead 'n' ate with relations all the way along'n' got them to come too whenever they could. They was seven buggies 'n'two democrats when they arrived at last. Mrs. Macy was waitin' for me inthe square when I got there this mornin' 'n' she told me as a cityreporter had come up to write a account of it 'n' as Dr. Cogswell wasgoin' to be there. They say as a live bishop wanted to make the prayerbut Rufus was so advanced in his views it seemed better not to come outtoo strong over his dead body. Mrs. Macy said it all showed what a verysuperior man he was. She says as she feels as maybe we did n'tappreciate him enough. She says maybe we was prejudiced. Lord knows it'svery hard not to be prejudiced agin' the folks you live among, 'n' Iguess any one as see Rufus mildly stumblin' around losin'pocket-handkerchiefs 'd of had a hard time regardin' him as superior;but he _was_ superior, 'n' Mrs. Macy says he _always_ was superior, forher aunt, old Mrs. Kitts, of Meadville, remembers when he was born, 'n'Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Kitts always says as he was superior right from thestart. She says as Mrs. Kitts says as Rufus's father was really 'most anuisance, talkin' about his superiority even the very first week he wasborn. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Kitts says that his father said right off theday he was born, as to his order o' thinkin' Rufus was different fromother babies right then 'n' there. He told Mrs. Kitts hisself as heknowed folks was often fools over their first babies, 'n' he did n'tcalcalate to act no such part, but in common honesty he _must_ state asRufus was 'way above the ordinary run, not because he was his baby, butjust because it was the plain truth. Mrs. Kitts said she see Rufusherself when he wa'n't but three days old, 'n' she told Mrs. Macy as shemust in truth confess as he looked then jus' about as he alwayslooked--kind of too awful wise to have any sense a _tall_. Mrs. Macysays Mrs. Kitts says the superior thing about Rufus them first days wasthe way as his mother looked on him. Mrs. Kitts says Tabitha Timmans wasa mos' remarkable woman, straight up her back 'n' all in 'n' out infront--one o' them women as is most all teeth--front teeth, 'n' Mrs. Kitts said whenever she looked at Rufus she was all back teeth too. Theyhad him in a clothes-basket to keep off draughts, with a quilt topervent changes in the weather, 'n' a mosquito-nettin' for fear a flymight thaw out unexpectedly 'n' get near him. Mrs. Kitts said TabithaTimmans was just about wild over him; she told Mrs. Kitts she felt itgallopin' up 'n' down her spine as how Rufus was surely goin' to grow upto be a inspector--or mebbe the president; she said any one could see hewas in for bein' suthin' high up 'n' sort o' quiet 'n' important. TildaAnn, Sammy Timmans's aunt, was there too. Mrs. Kitts says she alwaysliked Tilda Ann, what little she see of her, even if she _was n't_patient. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Kitts says Tilda Ann never had no realfault, only her never bein' able to be patient. She says if Tilda Annhad only had a little patience it 'd of been a great deal better for herin the end, for if Tilda Ann 'd had a little more patience she 'd neverhave come scurryin' home cross-lots that night in the fog 'n' gonehickety-pickety over the well-curb, thinkin' it was a stone wall. Mrs. Kitts says she never can help considerin' what a shock Tilda Ann musthave got when she realized as she was over, 'n' so was everythin' else. "

"My--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"But she was alive then, " continued Susan, "'n' she was there takin'care o' Tabitha 'n' watchin' over Rufus. Mrs. Kitts said it did n't takemuch to see as Tilda Ann had n't no particular admiration for Rufus; shesaid right then 'n' there, as to her order o' thinkin, ' Tabitha 'd oughtto teach him to quit suckin' his thumb right off, --she said as it was amost terrible job when they got bigger. Mrs. Kitts said Tabitha said asnot many babies was smart enough to suck their thumbs at Rufus's age, 'n' then Tilda Ann said as not many mothers was fool enough to let 'em. Mrs. Kitts said Tilda Ann was never one to mince words. She always saidjus' what she thought, 'n' that was a very bad thing for her too, forafore she died she 'd said jus' what she thought to so many people thatthey had great difficulty gettin' a party together to hunt for her thatday as she turned up missin' on a'count of bein' down in the well. 

"While we was talkin'--Mrs. Macy 'n' me--up Gran'ma Mullins come 'n' itturned out from her as we was all three expected to squeeze over toMeadville on Mr. Jilkins's back seat together. Mrs. Macy 'n' me was farfrom pleased at that prospeck, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins did n't look overrejoiced herself. There is them as can wedge, 'n' them as can't, 'n' wewas all three the kind as can't. I ain't as wide as Mrs. Macy, nor yetthe soft and squashy kind like Gran'ma Mullins, but I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as bein' overflowed around for sixteen miles, is to my order o'thinkin' full as tryin' as to be overflowin' aroun' somebody else. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop, mildly. 

"No, you would n't either, " said Susan, "I know you better 'n you knowyourself, Mrs. Lathrop, for I know you asleep 'n' awake, 'n' you onlyknow yourself awake; not as asleep 'n' awake is n't very much the samething with you, Mrs. Lathrop; but asleep or awake, the main fact is as Iknow most, so you can just keep still till I get done with what I 'msayin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop kept still. 

"Well, after it was settled as, willy-nilly, we'd got to back-seat it toMeadville together, Gran'ma Mullins begin about what a very superior manRufus was 'n' what a very superior boy he used to be. Mrs. Macy did n'tsay nothin', 'cause it was easy to see as she 'd really took it a gooddeal to heart bein' thirded for sixteen miles; but Gran'ma Mullins wentright on with when she lived in Meadville 'n' taught school that wintershe was seventeen. She said as Rufus was in her middle class that winter'n' _mos_' superior. He was nine 'n' the oldest o' nine, there bein' twopairs o' twins; she said it looked like Tabitha 'n' Sammy had took theBible about replenishin' the earth right on to their own shoulders. Gran'ma Mullins said it was suthin' to make any one content to teachschool forever, only to look at 'em; she said she should always think itwas that as made all the men in Meadville so ready to go to the war 'n'the women so calm over their gettin' killed; she said no one wanted toget married there, anyhow. "

"But she--" interposed Mrs. Lathrop, quickly. 

"Well, but she knew he had a bullet in him 'n the Roman fever 'n' apension, " said Susan, "she knowed she was pretty safe--I would n't blameher under them circumstances. But that's neither here nor anywhere else, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' what with your interruptin' Lord knows when we willget around to Rufus, for I keep forgettin' he 's dead 'n' rememberin'him alive, 'n' no one as remembers Rufus Timmans alive could ever tellanything about him, 'n' you know that as well as I do. Gran'ma Mullinssaid herself to-day as he was a great problem to her in school, 'n' sheused to study him out of all comparison to the other children. Every oneadmitted as he was superior, 'n' yet no one knowed jus' why. She says hereally _was_ superior in lots o' ways, 'n' he whittled her a open-workink-stand once for a Christmas as she 's used for toothpicks ever since, but she says the inside o' his ideas was surely most amazin'. She saysshe had him for two years, 'n' all she could say was as in all them twoyears she was mostly struck dumb by him. She says she used to go up 'n'talk to Tabitha, 'n' Tilda Ann used to come down 'n' talk with her, butnothin' ever seemed to come of it. Tilda Ann declared up 'n' down as hewas a fool through 'n' through, 'n' poor Tabitha was awful nervous forfear he 'd invent somethin' in bed some night as would surely blow thehouse up. Seems he was so ahead at ten years old that he wanted to studyto be a chemist, 'n' so behind that he spelt it 'kemst, ' 'n' him all often years old. 

"Gran'ma Mullins said she used to be clean beside herself; he was theshow-boy whenever the board came, 'n' never got his lessons betweentimes. She says she always knowed he 'd turn out _some way_, but TildaAnn never had no opinion of him a _tall_. Not as Tilda Ann's opinionmattered much, 'cause she climbed into the well just about then, 'n'Rufus looked out a verse for her tombstone in the Bible. It was a verygood motto for her too, --it was, 'Well done, thou good 'n' faithfulservant'; it made a lot o' talk, 'cause she really never was paidnothin', but the sentiment about the well was very pretty, 'n' every onethought Tilda Ann herself would have liked it if she 'd stayed up 'n' sohad any say in the matter. 

"Gran'ma Mullins went on to say as she got married soon after, so sherun out of talk, an' Mrs. Macy 'n' me was so tired listenin' to heranyway that we was all more 'n' content jus' to stand aroun' 'n' waittill the Jilkinses come drivin' up. Then we all had to up 'n' insomehow, 'n' I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as wedgin' Mrs. Macy an' Gran'maMullins was certainly a sight to see. They was for puttin' me in themiddle, but I was flat for a outside so 's I could breathe, 'n' in theend Mrs. Jilkins set between me 'n' Gran'ma Mullins, 'n' Mrs. Macy setwith Mr. Jilkins--what of her did n't hang over outside. "

"What did--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"There was n't no other way to get 'em both there--that's why, " saidSusan; "there was them as went on the cars, but that was n't no greatsuccess, for they was so late that Rufus had his lid all on afore theygot there, so they really had very little for their money. 'N' besides, if we 'd all gone on the cars, how was we to get to the grave? Rufus waswell this side o' Meadville, 'n' the cemetery's some further this way, 'n' whatever your views may be I hope you don't mind my sayin' right outas other folks' views is always more sensible. You can't be expected toknow much, Mrs. Lathrop, with your few church privileges 'n' your parlortoo small for the sewin' society; but if you was less inclined to talk'n' more inclined to listen to me I may in confidence remark as you_might_ learn about the funeral--even if you never learned nothin' elsein this world. "

Mrs. Lathrop was again silent forthwith. 

"Drivin' over we all talked about Rufus. We had really a very pleasantride, for we was all disposed to view him kindly goin' over. Mrs. Macytold over again what a superior baby he was, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins toldover again what a superior boy he was, 'n' Mrs. Macy said as Mrs. Kittssaid as he was the talk o' the town when he was twenty-one. Gran'maMullins did n't remember much about him then, 'cause she got marriedalong about that time, 'n' she 's always said that them who gets marrieddon't need nothin' else to do for one while; but Mrs. Macy said Rufuswas one o' the most superior young men as Mrs. Kitts ever see. She saidas old Mr. Tilley took him right into the heart 'n' soul o' hisdrug-store jus' because his mother was his cousin, 'n' even then thegeneral feelin' was as he was way above the business. Mrs. Macy said asMrs. Kitts said she 'd never forget goin' in one day for some salts 'n'finding Rufus all alone. Why, she said she never had known he was sohead 'n' shoulders above other people! She says she 's told the story amillion times 'n' it 's still fresh in her mind. She said she asked forsimple salts, 'n' he begun right off about a comet. She felt awfuluncomfortable to have to say as she had n't seen no comet, 'n' then itturned out no wonder, 'cause you could only see it from China an'Maddygasgar. She said she was awful interested, 'n' he was too, 'n' inthe end he was _so_ interested that he found he had n't poured out o'the salts bottle a _tall_. It was only just a chance as he remembered asit was salts she wanted, 'n' she said he was _so_ nice about it, wentunder the counter to find a cork to fit, 'n' told her all about how theyget gumarabic while he was under there, 'n' she was so deep in thesubjeck that she never noticed, 'n' he stuck a poison label on, 'n' theyboth laughed over that fit to kill themselves. My goodness, Mrs. Macysaid, but Mrs. Kitts said as he was a taking young man. In the end hewrote the name in Latin across the skull 'n' cross-bones, 'n' she onlyhad to always remember as 'Sally Simplex' meant 'simple salts' fromthen on. 

"She went on to say as the biggest thing Rufus ever done long about thenwas to down their minister in a open conversation one night callin' atDeacon Grummel's. She told all about it, 'n' seems as there was sometalk afterwards about gettin' up a subscription to send him to college, only it never come to nothin' 'cause no one wanted to subscribe. Seemsthe minister was Luther Law, him as moved to Chicago afterwards 'n' gotburnt up or out--I forget which--in the fire. Seems he was to DeaconGrummel's one night, 'n' him 'n' Rufus got to discussin' what we allcome from. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Grummel said she never hear the like. She'n' her husband was jus' all of a tremble. She said afterwards that ifit 'd of been any other minister than Luther Law, Rufus _would_ have hadhim sure. She said it was just like a lecture hall to hear, upon herhonor. The minister begun by startin' out for our all comin' from Adam'n' Eve, but Rufus come out flat for our bein' from monkeys. Well, Mrs. Grummel said she 'n' her husband could n't do no more than feel theirhearts beat at _that_. Rufus jus' argued 'n' kep' on arguin' till hemade the minister admit as there was n't nothin' absolute agin' monkeys, 'n' then--if that young man did n't go him one better 'n' say as hebelieved in tadpoles himself. Luther Law was flat agin' tadpoles, butRufus never let up till he got him to admit that if the Lord could makea man out of a monkey He could make him out of a tadpole, too. 'N'_then_, when he'd got him so far, what _do_ you think, Mrs. Lathrop, --what do you think!--Mrs. Macy said as Mrs. Kitts said as Mrs. Grummel said if that young man did n't look right square into Luther'sface 'n' say as to _his_ order o' thinkin' it wasn't what we'd come fromas mattered so much as what we'd develop into _next_. 'That's what Iwant to know, ' he said to Luther Law, runnin' his hand into himself inthat way as was so fashionable along 'bout then, 'that's what _I_ wantto know, 'n' I can't find no one as has a addykit answer for me. '

"Well, Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kitts said as up to her deathbed day Mrs. Grummel _always_ said as that was _the_ minute o' her life. She saidfacin' cannon would n't be nothin' to the way she 'n' the deacon feltover seein' the minister asked a thing like that right on top o' theirown tea! But, lor, you never could stick Luther Law. A minister wouldn't be able to be able to be a minister if little things like questionsyou can't answer could run him aground. He jus' waited a minute 'n' thenhe looked slow 'n' sad, an' lifted up his hand _so_, 'n' pointed _so_, an' said, 'Young man, how can you ask such a question, with the starryheaven right on top of your head?'

"Well! Mrs. Grummel said it was like a flash o' thunder splittin' cleanthrough the air. She said her husband never quit saying to his dying dayas that was the smartest thing as Luther Law ever said, considerin' howlittle time he had to think, 'n' it was the only thing in the wide worldas he could of said, too. She said she told that story all over town, 'n' no one could ever decide which was the smartest, Rufus or LutherLaw; 'cause even if Luther Law did find a way out, it was such aastonishin' thing as he did that Rufus got a sight o' credit out ofcomin' as nigh to stickin' him as _he_ did. A good many people begun tosay then as he was too superior for a small town;--old Dr. Lumb said asto his order o' thinkin' he 'd ought to move near to some place wherehe'd have professors to talk to. 

"Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kitts give her to understand, though, as there wasa 'nother side to Rufus even then, 'n' it begun to crop out mightyyoung, too. Mrs. Kitts said she would n't mention it only in confidence, but Mr. Tilley, of the drug-store where Rufus was, told _her_ as he'd beonly too glad to see Rufus move _anywhere_, whether it had professors totalk to or not. Mr. Tilley said his ideas was far too advanced for asmall town. Mr. Tilley said he could n't find the easiest things afterRufus had got 'em labelled in Latin, 'n' he said it wasn't practical toclassify no drug-store without a rollin' step-ladder anyhow. Then therecame up the Kelly cat, 'n' on account of the Kellys havin' money theKelly cat come nigh to endin' Rufus. I never hear about the Kelly catafore, but seems as the Kelly cat was ailin' 'n' the Kellys took it toRufus for catnip, 'n' Rufus got to discoursin' with Bessy on how ifyou're born under Venus with Mars gettin' up you're bound to marrywhoever you love, 'n' he clean forgot what ailed the cat 'n' tried togive her ipecac as if she was croupy instead o' bein' droopy. The catknowed ipecac even if Rufus did n't, 'n' she bounced out from betweenhim 'n' Bessy 'n' bounced into the winder 'n' busted the big bottle fullo' green. Rufus said it was a fit, 'n' he got a hair-oil bottle as givesyou a nickel nose of your own for nothin', 'n' he put the nose on theipecac 'n' got the whole down the cat so far that she come nigh toswallowin' the nose. Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kelly never felt to forgiveRufus, 'n' it set her deader 'n' ever agin' him, but, lor, Bessy was toohead over heels in love to care about cats or ipecac. She was as sureRufus was superior as any one could be, 'n' every one knowed what was upas well as she 'n' Rufus did. Mrs. Macy said as every one said as asuperior young man must marry money or he could n't in reason staysuperior long, 'n' Rufus was dead set on stayin' superior, so they wasmarried the next spring 'n' moved to the city, 'n' they did n't comeback till it was plain as Mr. Kelly 'd have to support 'em or let Bessystarve on Rufus's superiority. "

Susan paused abruptly and sighed. Mrs. Lathrop said never a word. Presently the discourse flowed on again. 

"Well, there was n't really no wish to say nothin' but good of Rufus, but it is a long drive to Meadville an' we had to talk, 'n' you know aswell as I do, Mrs. Lathrop, as it's nigh to impossible to talk long ofpeople if you 're only to say good of 'em. Rufus was there 'n' dead totalk about, 'n' while we naturally wished him well, still we was prettytired before we got through drivin' sixteen miles to bury him. Gran'maMullins said finally as he was certainly a very superior man, but sheknowed from her niece Hannah as he was trying to live with. She saidHannah lived with 'em for five years 'n' looked after the children, 'ncheered Bessy up when she was nigh to wore out with bein' married toRufus. Hannah never had no use for Rufus Timmans herself, --she was awfulfond o' Bessy 'n' the boys, but she drawed the line at Rufus, 'n'Gran'ma Mullins says she never minced matters neither. Gran'ma Mullinssays as Hannah used to walk right in on Rufus 'n' let fly whenever shefelt as the salvation of her soul called on her to speak or bu'st. Shesaid Hannah said what she could n't stand was the way the general publicseemed to coincide with Rufus's opinion of himself. Hannah used to sayas the general run o' folks did n't have to live with Rufus Timmans an'she did, 'n' she furthermore used to say if the general run o' folks hadhad to live with Rufus Timmans they would n't o' viewed him from nofancy standpoint no more 'n' she did herself. Hannah used to say as dayin 'n' day out was a terrible lettin' in o' light on dark spots, 'n' forher part she had n't got no use for a man as had the whole o' the insideo' the earth by heart 'n' was n't one earthly bit o' good on the outsideof it. Hannah said as all she could say was as she wisht as some o' themas admired his superior understandin' could just be in her place onewhile. Gran'ma Mullins said as there was one time as Hannah never gotover, 'n' that was the cistern, she said as Hannah always got madwhenever she told it, 'n' she told it so often, her face stayed alwaysred in the end, jus' from tellin' that story so often. 

"Seems as Rufus thought mebbe there was a dead rat in the cistern, so hehad the cistern cleaned out, 'n' the drouth came on, 'n' Monday come ontop o' the drouth, 'n' Hannah pumped her arms most off afore sherealized as there wa'n't no water a _tall_, 'n' then she was that mad asshe walked right in on Rufus 'n' give it to him. 

"Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah said it made her mad only to look at him;he was sittin' in the little shady parlor, jus' softly rockin' back 'n'forth, readin' a book as told why the Dead Sea 's dead. Well, Hannahsaid no words could tell how much madder she got when she got right infront o' him--to see a able-bodied man rockin' 'n' readin' Dead Seas ontop of a empty cistern. Hannah was never one to keep her own counsel inthe face of her own feelin's, you know, 'n' she jus' went right up infront of Rufus 'n' said as calm as she could, 'Mr. Timmans, where's thewater for the wash to come from?' Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah alwayssaid as she tried to stay calm but she give out young, 'n' the sight o'Rufus liftin' his superior eyes jus' did for her. She put her two handson her two hips, an' let out right then 'n' there, 'Mr. Timmans, ' shesays, 'you was so sure 't there was a rat drowned in the cistern, ' shesays, 'that nothin' mus' do but you mus' clean it out, ' she says; ''n'there wa'n't no rat, ' she says, ''n' it ain't rained since, ' she says, ''n' how're we to wash?' she says, --'n' then she waited to see what hewould say, 'n' she said a lamb would o' begun to hop about 'n' yowl withmad to see how kind of calm 'n' dazed like 'n' altogether peaceful 'n'happy he looked up at her. 'N' he says, quite placid 'n' contented, 'Can't you get some water out o' the pond?' he says. 'Out o' the pond!'says Hannah, high-keyed like, --Gran'ma Mullins says Hannah always wenthigh-keyed easy, --'out o' that muddy, swampy, slimy, marshy, cow-churnedpond, ' says Hannah, 'out o' that nasty, dirty, filthy, green pond, ' saysHannah, gettin' high-keyeder 'n' high-keyeder. 'I can get it clean foryou, ' says Rufus, a-openin' the Dead Sea 'n' runnin' his eyes aroun' forhis place, --'jus' say when you want it, ' he says. Well, Gran'ma Mullinssaid Hannah always said as she never knowed what kept her off him atthat minute, for she was that mad she felt like the righteous judgmento' the Lord was in the ends of her very finger-nails. '_Now_, ' she says, 'right _now_, ' she says; 'that's when I want it, ' she says. Rufus lookedup 'n' see she was in earnest, 'n' she says the way he sighed like hewas a martyr as led the band was enough to have ended her patience once'n' for all time if it had n't been for the wash, 'n' then he carefullyturned a leaf down in the Dead Sea 'n' got out o' the rocker 'n' went'n' got Nathan Lumb 'n' they went off together. 

"Well, Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah begun to wait, 'n' Hannah waiteduntil if Hannah had waited any longer she 'd have gone off like arocket, she was that mad again. Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah always gotso red she got purple if she only was rememberin' it after. 'N' in theend she could n't stand it no longer 'n' she set off for the pondherself. She always said as she just hoped 'n' prayed as they was bothon 'em drowned all the way there, but the Lord in his mercy was n'tseein' fit to deal out no such luck, 'n' she found the pond there an'Rufus 'n' Nathan gone. 

"'N' what do you suppose she see, Mrs. Lathrop; what _do_ you supposeshe see? You never heard the like, 'n' the whole wagon of us could n'tbut feel as it was maybe just as well as we was on our way to Rufus'sfuneral, for we _never_ could have faced him in real life after hearin'such a tale. 

"Seems there was the pond 'n' there was the edge o' the pond, 'n' therewas two barrels as Rufus 'n' Nathan had set close to the edge. One o'the barrels was empty 'n' one was full o' dirty swamp-water, 'n' Rufus'ssuperior mind had hung a old piece o' carpet from one barrel over intothe other so it could suck up dirty water 'n' drip off clean, 'n' mebbeif the sun did n't shine too hard Hannah 'd have a pail o' clean watercome Hallowe'en. 'N' the wash waitin'!

"Mr. Jilkins said as that was jus' what might o' been expected o' Rufus. He'd like to observe the theery 'n' he would n't care about the wash. Gran'ma Mullins said it did the business for Hannah, though. She nevercould make up her mind to take Dr. Lumb before on a'count o' hisswearin' so, but she made up her mind as anythin' as 'd rid her o' Rufus'n' give her a chance to boss Nathan 'd fill her bill after that, 'n'she went up that very night 'n' told Dr. Lumb, as if he still wantedher, she was prepared to be took. He wanted her 'n' he took her, 'n' shewas to the funeral to-day with Nathan 'n' his two boys, all of 'embrushed so slick you could see with half a eye as Hannah had got a dealo' satisfaction out o' them all these years since. 

"She come over to sit beside Gran'ma Mullins 'n' talked a little while. She said Bessy Timmans was bearin' Rufus's loss mos' bravely, 'n' herdaughter Betty was come home 'n' brought the baby to comfort her. Hannahsaid as Betty was a very sweet young woman. She said she never forgotthe day when she was only four years old, 'n' asked right out why thefamily had to be so proud o' Rufus. Hannah said her mother shut her upquick, but it was plain to be seen as that child had eyes for them ascould hear, 'n' was pretty quick at sizin' up Rufus. 

"It was a awful big funeral. Folks was there from all over. I drove outto the graveyard with old Dr. Lumb 'n' Dr. Cogswell from the city. Theother one was Susy Carter, 'n' she's so deaf all I could do was tolisten to the front seat. Dr. Cogswell said as it was a great pity thata superior man like Rufus Timmans should have had to live his life outon highways 'n' edges by circumstances probably beyond his control. Dr. Lumb said yes, a small community like Meadville could n't never offernothin' like a addykit scope to a brain like Rufus's. He said he wassurprised as Rufus's brain had managed to scratch along as well as ithad under the circumstances. He said, with the exception of himselfRufus had never had no one to really talk to. He said, to be frank, hewould in confidence remark to Dr. Cogswell as Bessy Timmans was a veryinferior person an' no ways up to Rufus. He said as he should n't bepersonally surprised to know as her feelin's towards Rufus partook moreof a element of impatience than of admiration. He said as one night whenhe was there he was most dumbfounded to see how little attention shepaid with Rufus discoursin' on trilobites 'n their relations to thecursory strata. Dr. Cogswell sighed 'n' said he was afraid he'd have toadmit as he feared that was mebbe only too likely to be true. He said hefelt a sadness because every trilobite as was related by Rufus was ofprofound value to any scientific student. He said Rufus was one at whosefeet them as is learned could easy sit and learn some more. He saidRufus ought to o' gotten out in the world thirty years ago, --but then hesighed again, 'n' said probably circumstances as no one knowed nothingof probably chained him here. It was easy to see as Dr. Lumb had a awfulhigh opinion o' Rufus, but that 'd be only natural, him bein' married toHannah as was so dead set agin' him, 'n' he shook his head then 'n' saidas he believed as Dr. Cogswell had guessed pretty nigh to the truth. Hesaid he knowed as Bessy was born in Meadville, 'n' as her property wasthere 'n' he said his own opinion was that with the shortsightednesscommon to her sex she had chained the eagle so as she might stay amongher little circle o' petty friendships, 'n' so the noble bird had wornhis soul away in captivity, so to speak. 

"Dr. Cogswell said 'Ah!' 'n' then they both shook their heads together'n' sighed together. 

"Hannah did n't go out to the grave. She stayed with Bessy. She took meinto the pantry afore we left 'n' said as the spirit o' relief hoverin'in the house was beyond all belief. She said Betty was goin' to take hermother home with her when she went. She said Betty said as she couldcome back to Meadville whenever she liked, but she said as Bessy saidshe'd never want to come back. Hannah says Bessy told her as all sheasked was to live out her days some place where she 'd never have tohear again what a very superior man Rufus was. 

"I stood aroun' an' talked with a lot more folks. The general feelin'was as it was a great honor to be buryin' Rufus, but nobody knowed justwhy. I thought about it comin' home a-jouncin' along over them walnuts. (My, but they was hard!) The truth seems to be as there 's some folksborn to be superior 'n' to know as they're superior, 'n' other folksborn to admire 'em, 'n' neither set sees jus' why. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, as long as you say so I may as well admit as I was thinkin' thatvery thing myself, " said Susan; "but far be it from me to have said sucha thing myself _of_ myself, Mrs. Lathrop--but as long as _you_ say it Ican't but remark as no one in their senses could deny its bein' true o'me. "

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Oh, that's your misfortune, " said Miss Clegg, graciously; "there ain'tno need of apologizin' to a old friend like me. 'N' anyway, Mrs. Lathrop, I guess nobody could n't tell _me_ nothin' about yourinferiorities--not after livin' next to you all the years as I have; butyou know me, 'n' you know as nothin' ever changes my feelin's towards afriend--not even towards such a friend as you, Mrs. Lathrop. "

Mrs. Lathrop was silent. 

 * * * * *

 Other books by Anne Warner

THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY

 Always amusing and ends in a burst of sunshine. --_Philadelphia Ledger_. 

 Impossible to read without laughing. A sparkling, hilarious tale. --_Chicago Record-Herald_. 

 The love story is as wholesome and satisfactory as the fun. In its class this book must be accorded the first place. --_Baltimore Sun_. 

 The humor is simply delicious. --_Albany Times-Union_. 

 Every one that remembers Susan Clegg will wish also to make the acquaintance of Aunt Mary. Her "imperious will and impervious eardrums" furnish matter for uproarious merriment.... A book to drive away the blues and make one well content with the worst weather. --_Pittsburg Gazette_. 

 Cheerful, crisp, and bright. The comedy is sweetened by a satisfying love tale. --_Boston Herald_. 

SUSAN CLEGG AND HER FRIEND MRS. LATHROP

 It is seldom a book so full of delightful humor comes before the reader. Anne Warner takes her place in the circle of American woman humorists, who have achieved distinction so rapidly within recent years. --_Brooklyn Eagle_. 

 Nothing better in the new homely philosophy style of fiction has been written. --_San Francisco Bulletin_. 

 Anne Warner has given us the rare delight of a book that is extremely funny. Hearty laughter is in store for every reader. --_Philadelphia Public Ledger_. 

 Susan is a positive contribution to the American characters in fiction. --_Brooklyn Times_. 

 Susan Clegg is a living creature, quite as amusing and even more plausible than Mrs. Wiggs. Susan's human weaknesses are endearing, and we find ourselves in sympathy with her. --_New York Evening Post_. 

 No more original or quaint person than she has ever lived in fiction. --_Newark Advertiser_. 

A WOMAN'S WILL

 It is a relief to take up a volume so absolutely free from stressfulness. The love-making is passionate, the humor of much of the conversation is thoroughly delightful. The book is as refreshing a bit of fiction as one often finds; there is not a dull page in it. --_Providence Journal_. 

 It is bright, charming, and intense as it describes the wooing of a young American widow on the European Continent by a German musical genius. --_San Francisco Chronicle_. 

 A deliciously funny book. --_Chicago Tribune_. 

 There is a laugh on nearly every page. --_New York Times_. 

 Most decidedly an unusual story. The dialogue is nothing if not original, and the characters are very unique. There is something striking on every page of the book. --_Newark Advertiser_. 

 A more vivacious light novel could not be found. --_Chicago Record-Herald_.