DON QUIXOTE

 Volume II. 

 Part 28. 

 by Miguel de Cervantes

 Translated by John Ormsby

CHAPTER XXIX. 

OF THE FAMOUS ADVENTURE OF THE ENCHANTED BARK

By stages as already described or left undescribed, two days afterquitting the grove Don Quixote and Sancho reached the river Ebro, and thesight of it was a great delight to Don Quixote as he contemplated andgazed upon the charms of its banks, the clearness of its stream, thegentleness of its current and the abundance of its crystal waters; andthe pleasant view revived a thousand tender thoughts in his mind. Aboveall, he dwelt upon what he had seen in the cave of Montesinos; for thoughMaster Pedro's ape had told him that of those things part was true, partfalse, he clung more to their truth than to their falsehood, the veryreverse of Sancho, who held them all to be downright lies. 

As they were thus proceeding, then, they discovered a small boat, withoutoars or any other gear, that lay at the water's edge tied to the stem ofa tree growing on the bank. Don Quixote looked all round, and seeingnobody, at once, without more ado, dismounted from Rocinante and badeSancho get down from Dapple and tie both beasts securely to the trunk ofa poplar or willow that stood there. Sancho asked him the reason of thissudden dismounting and tying. Don Quixote made answer, "Thou must know, Sancho, that this bark is plainly, and without the possibility of anyalternative, calling and inviting me to enter it, and in it go to giveaid to some knight or other person of distinction in need of it, who isno doubt in some sore strait; for this is the way of the books ofchivalry and of the enchanters who figure and speak in them. When aknight is involved in some difficulty from which he cannot be deliveredsave by the hand of another knight, though they may be at a distance oftwo or three thousand leagues or more one from the other, they eithertake him up on a cloud, or they provide a bark for him to get into, andin less than the twinkling of an eye they carry him where they will andwhere his help is required; and so, Sancho, this bark is placed here forthe same purpose; this is as true as that it is now day, and ere this onepasses tie Dapple and Rocinante together, and then in God's hand be it toguide us; for I would not hold back from embarking, though barefootedfriars were to beg me. "

"As that's the case, " said Sancho, "and your worship chooses to give into these--I don't know if I may call them absurdities--at every turn, there's nothing for it but to obey and bow the head, bearing in mind theproverb, 'Do as thy master bids thee, and sit down to table with him;'but for all that, for the sake of easing my conscience, I warn yourworship that it is my opinion this bark is no enchanted one, but belongsto some of the fishermen of the river, for they catch the best shad inthe world here. "

As Sancho said this, he tied the beasts, leaving them to the care andprotection of the enchanters with sorrow enough in his heart. Don Quixotebade him not be uneasy about deserting the animals, "for he who wouldcarry themselves over such longinquous roads and regions would take careto feed them. "

"I don't understand that logiquous, " said Sancho, "nor have I ever heardthe word all the days of my life. "

"Longinquous, " replied Don Quixote, "means far off; but it is no wonderthou dost not understand it, for thou art not bound to know Latin, likesome who pretend to know it and don't. "

"Now they are tied, " said Sancho; "what are we to do next?"

"What?" said Don Quixote, "cross ourselves and weigh anchor; I mean, embark and cut the moorings by which the bark is held;" and the barkbegan to drift away slowly from the bank. But when Sancho saw himselfsomewhere about two yards out in the river, he began to tremble and givehimself up for lost; but nothing distressed him more than hearing Dapplebray and seeing Rocinante struggling to get loose, and said he to hismaster, "Dapple is braying in grief at our leaving him, and Rocinante istrying to escape and plunge in after us. O dear friends, peace be withyou, and may this madness that is taking us away from you, turned intosober sense, bring us back to you. " And with this he fell weeping sobitterly, that Don Quixote said to him, sharply and angrily, "What artthou afraid of, cowardly creature? What art thou weeping at, heart ofbutter-paste? Who pursues or molests thee, thou soul of a tame mouse?What dost thou want, unsatisfied in the very heart of abundance? Artthou, perchance, tramping barefoot over the Riphaean mountains, insteadof being seated on a bench like an archduke on the tranquil stream ofthis pleasant river, from which in a short space we shall come out uponthe broad sea? But we must have already emerged and gone seven hundred oreight hundred leagues; and if I had here an astrolabe to take thealtitude of the pole, I could tell thee how many we have travelled, though either I know little, or we have already crossed or shall shortlycross the equinoctial line which parts the two opposite poles midway. "

"And when we come to that line your worship speaks of, " said Sancho, "howfar shall we have gone?"

"Very far, " said Don Quixote, "for of the three hundred and sixty degreesthat this terraqueous globe contains, as computed by Ptolemy, thegreatest cosmographer known, we shall have travelled one-half when wecome to the line I spoke of. "

"By God, " said Sancho, "your worship gives me a nice authority for whatyou say, putrid Dolly something transmogrified, or whatever it is. "

Don Quixote laughed at the interpretation Sancho put upon "computed, " andthe name of the cosmographer Ptolemy, and said he, "Thou must know, Sancho, that with the Spaniards and those who embark at Cadiz for theEast Indies, one of the signs they have to show them when they havepassed the equinoctial line I told thee of, is, that the lice die uponeverybody on board the ship, and not a single one is left, or to be foundin the whole vessel if they gave its weight in gold for it; so, Sancho, thou mayest as well pass thy hand down thy thigh, and if thou comest uponanything alive we shall be no longer in doubt; if not, then we havecrossed. "

"I don't believe a bit of it, " said Sancho; "still, I'll do as yourworship bids me; though I don't know what need there is for trying theseexperiments, for I can see with my own eyes that we have not moved fiveyards away from the bank, or shifted two yards from where the animalsstand, for there are Rocinante and Dapple in the very same place where weleft them; and watching a point, as I do now, I swear by all that's good, we are not stirring or moving at the pace of an ant. "

"Try the test I told thee of, Sancho, " said Don Quixote, "and don't mindany other, for thou knowest nothing about colures, lines, parallels, zodiacs, ecliptics, poles, solstices, equinoxes, planets, signs, bearings, the measures of which the celestial and terrestrial spheres arecomposed; if thou wert acquainted with all these things, or any portionof them, thou wouldst see clearly how many parallels we have cut, whatsigns we have seen, and what constellations we have left behind and arenow leaving behind. But again I tell thee, feel and hunt, for I amcertain thou art cleaner than a sheet of smooth white paper. "

Sancho felt, and passing his hand gently and carefully down to the hollowof his left knee, he looked up at his master and said, "Either the testis a false one, or we have not come to where your worship says, norwithin many leagues of it. "

"Why, how so?" asked Don Quixote; "hast thou come upon aught?"

"Ay, and aughts, " replied Sancho; and shaking his fingers he washed hiswhole hand in the river along which the boat was quietly gliding inmidstream, not moved by any occult intelligence or invisible enchanter, but simply by the current, just there smooth and gentle. 

They now came in sight of some large water mills that stood in the middleof the river, and the instant Don Quixote saw them he cried out, "Seestthou there, my friend? there stands the castle or fortress, where thereis, no doubt, some knight in durance, or ill-used queen, or infanta, orprincess, in whose aid I am brought hither. "

"What the devil city, fortress, or castle is your worship talking about, senor?" said Sancho; "don't you see that those are mills that stand inthe river to grind corn?"

"Hold thy peace, Sancho, " said Don Quixote; "though they look like millsthey are not so; I have already told thee that enchantments transformthings and change their proper shapes; I do not mean to say they reallychange them from one form into another, but that it seems as though theydid, as experience proved in the transformation of Dulcinea, sole refugeof my hopes. "

By this time, the boat, having reached the middle of the stream, began tomove less slowly than hitherto. The millers belonging to the mills, whenthey saw the boat coming down the river, and on the point of being suckedin by the draught of the wheels, ran out in haste, several of them, withlong poles to stop it, and being all mealy, with faces and garmentscovered with flour, they presented a sinister appearance. They raisedloud shouts, crying, "Devils of men, where are you going to? Are you mad?Do you want to drown yourselves, or dash yourselves to pieces among thesewheels?"

"Did I not tell thee, Sancho, " said Don Quixote at this, "that we hadreached the place where I am to show what the might of my arm can do? Seewhat ruffians and villains come out against me; see what monsters opposeme; see what hideous countenances come to frighten us! You shall soonsee, scoundrels!" And then standing up in the boat he began in a loudvoice to hurl threats at the millers, exclaiming, "Ill-conditioned andworse-counselled rabble, restore to liberty and freedom the person yehold in durance in this your fortress or prison, high or low or ofwhatever rank or quality he be, for I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called the Knight of the Lions, for whom, by the disposition ofheaven above, it is reserved to give a happy issue to this adventure;"and so saying he drew his sword and began making passes in the air at themillers, who, hearing but not understanding all this nonsense, strove tostop the boat, which was now getting into the rushing channel of thewheels. Sancho fell upon his knees devoutly appealing to heaven todeliver him from such imminent peril; which it did by the activity andquickness of the millers, who, pushing against the boat with their poles, stopped it, not, however, without upsetting and throwing Don Quixote andSancho into the water; and lucky it was for Don Quixote that he couldswim like a goose, though the weight of his armour carried him twice tothe bottom; and had it not been for the millers, who plunged in andhoisted them both out, it would have been Troy town with the pair ofthem. As soon as, more drenched than thirsty, they were landed, Sanchowent down on his knees and with clasped hands and eyes raised to heaven, prayed a long and fervent prayer to God to deliver him evermore from therash projects and attempts of his master. The fishermen, the owners ofthe boat, which the mill-wheels had knocked to pieces, now came up, andseeing it smashed they proceeded to strip Sancho and to demand paymentfor it from Don Quixote; but he with great calmness, just as if nothinghad happened him, told the millers and fishermen that he would pay forthe bark most cheerfully, on condition that they delivered up to him, free and unhurt, the person or persons that were in durance in thatcastle of theirs. 

"What persons or what castle art thou talking of, madman? Art thou forcarrying off the people who come to grind corn in these mills?"

"That's enough, " said Don Quixote to himself, "it would be preaching inthe desert to attempt by entreaties to induce this rabble to do anyvirtuous action. In this adventure two mighty enchanters must haveencountered one another, and one frustrates what the other attempts; oneprovided the bark for me, and the other upset me; God help us, this worldis all machinations and schemes at cross purposes one with the other. Ican do no more. " And then turning towards the mills he said aloud, "Friends, whoe'er ye be that are immured in that prison, forgive me that, to my misfortune and yours, I cannot deliver you from your misery; thisadventure is doubtless reserved and destined for some other knight. "

So saying he settled with the fishermen, and paid fifty reals for theboat, which Sancho handed to them very much against the grain, saying, "With a couple more bark businesses like this we shall have sunk ourwhole capital. "

The fishermen and the millers stood staring in amazement at the twofigures, so very different to all appearance from ordinary men, and werewholly unable to make out the drift of the observations and questions DonQuixote addressed to them; and coming to the conclusion that they weremadmen, they left them and betook themselves, the millers to their mills, and the fishermen to their huts. Don Quixote and Sancho returned to theirbeasts, and to their life of beasts, and so ended the adventure of theenchanted bark. 

CHAPTER XXX. 

OF DON QUIXOTE'S ADVENTURE WITH A FAIR HUNTRESS

They reached their beasts in low spirits and bad humour enough, knightand squire, Sancho particularly, for with him what touched the stock ofmoney touched his heart, and when any was taken from him he felt as if hewas robbed of the apples of his eyes. In fine, without exchanging a word, they mounted and quitted the famous river, Don Quixote absorbed inthoughts of his love, Sancho in thinking of his advancement, which justthen, it seemed to him, he was very far from securing; for, fool as hewas, he saw clearly enough that his master's acts were all or most ofthem utterly senseless; and he began to cast about for an opportunity ofretiring from his service and going home some day, without entering intoany explanations or taking any farewell of him. Fortune, however, orderedmatters after a fashion very much the opposite of what he contemplated. 

It so happened that the next day towards sunset, on coming out of a wood, Don Quixote cast his eyes over a green meadow, and at the far end of itobserved some people, and as he drew nearer saw that it was a hawkingparty. Coming closer, he distinguished among them a lady of gracefulmien, on a pure white palfrey or hackney caparisoned with green trappingsand a silver-mounted side-saddle. The lady was also in green, and sorichly and splendidly dressed that splendour itself seemed personified inher. On her left hand she bore a hawk, a proof to Don Quixote's mind thatshe must be some great lady and the mistress of the whole hunting party, which was the fact; so he said to Sancho, "Run Sancho, my son, and say tothat lady on the palfrey with the hawk that I, the Knight of the Lions, kiss the hands of her exalted beauty, and if her excellence will grant meleave I will go and kiss them in person and place myself at her servicefor aught that may be in my power and her highness may command; and mind, Sancho, how thou speakest, and take care not to thrust in any of thyproverbs into thy message. "

"You've got a likely one here to thrust any in!" said Sancho; "leave mealone for that! Why, this is not the first time in my life I have carriedmessages to high and exalted ladies. "

"Except that thou didst carry to the lady Dulcinea, " said Don Quixote, "Iknow not that thou hast carried any other, at least in my service. "

"That is true, " replied Sancho; "but pledges don't distress a good payer, and in a house where there's plenty supper is soon cooked; I mean there'sno need of telling or warning me about anything; for I'm ready foreverything and know a little of everything. "

"That I believe, Sancho, " said Don Quixote; "go and good luck to thee, and God speed thee. "

Sancho went off at top speed, forcing Dapple out of his regular pace, andcame to where the fair huntress was standing, and dismounting kneltbefore her and said, "Fair lady, that knight that you see there, theKnight of the Lions by name, is my master, and I am a squire of his, andat home they call me Sancho Panza. This same Knight of the Lions, who wascalled not long since the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, sends by meto say may it please your highness to give him leave that, with yourpermission, approbation, and consent, he may come and carry out hiswishes, which are, as he says and I believe, to serve your exaltedloftiness and beauty; and if you give it, your ladyship will do a thingwhich will redound to your honour, and he will receive a mostdistinguished favour and happiness. "

"You have indeed, squire, " said the lady, "delivered your message withall the formalities such messages require; rise up, for it is not rightthat the squire of a knight so great as he of the Rueful Countenance, ofwhom we have heard a great deal here, should remain on his knees; rise, my friend, and bid your master welcome to the services of myself and theduke my husband, in a country house we have here. "

Sancho got up, charmed as much by the beauty of the good lady as by herhigh-bred air and her courtesy, but, above all, by what she had saidabout having heard of his master, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance;for if she did not call him Knight of the Lions it was no doubt becausehe had so lately taken the name. "Tell me, brother squire, " asked theduchess (whose title, however, is not known), "this master of yours, ishe not one of whom there is a history extant in print, called 'TheIngenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha, ' who has for the lady ofhis heart a certain Dulcinea del Toboso?"

"He is the same, senora, " replied Sancho; "and that squire of his whofigures, or ought to figure, in the said history under the name of SanchoPanza, is myself, unless they have changed me in the cradle, I mean inthe press. "

"I am rejoiced at all this, " said the duchess; "go, brother Panza, andtell your master that he is welcome to my estate, and that nothing couldhappen me that could give me greater pleasure. "

Sancho returned to his master mightily pleased with this gratifyinganswer, and told him all the great lady had said to him, lauding to theskies, in his rustic phrase, her rare beauty, her graceful gaiety, andher courtesy. Don Quixote drew himself up briskly in his saddle, fixedhimself in his stirrups, settled his visor, gave Rocinante the spur, andwith an easy bearing advanced to kiss the hands of the duchess, who, having sent to summon the duke her husband, told him while Don Quixotewas approaching all about the message; and as both of them had read theFirst Part of this history, and from it were aware of Don Quixote's crazyturn, they awaited him with the greatest delight and anxiety to make hisacquaintance, meaning to fall in with his humour and agree witheverything he said, and, so long as he stayed with them, to treat him asa knight-errant, with all the ceremonies usual in the books of chivalrythey had read, for they themselves were very fond of them. 

Don Quixote now came up with his visor raised, and as he seemed about todismount Sancho made haste to go and hold his stirrup for him; but ingetting down off Dapple he was so unlucky as to hitch his foot in one ofthe ropes of the pack-saddle in such a way that he was unable to free it, and was left hanging by it with his face and breast on the ground. DonQuixote, who was not used to dismount without having the stirrup held, fancying that Sancho had by this time come to hold it for him, threwhimself off with a lurch and brought Rocinante's saddle after him, whichwas no doubt badly girthed, and saddle and he both came to the ground;not without discomfiture to him and abundant curses muttered between histeeth against the unlucky Sancho, who had his foot still in the shackles. The duke ordered his huntsmen to go to the help of knight and squire, andthey raised Don Quixote, sorely shaken by his fall; and he, limping, advanced as best he could to kneel before the noble pair. This, however, the duke would by no means permit; on the contrary, dismounting from hishorse, he went and embraced Don Quixote, saying, "I am grieved, SirKnight of the Rueful Countenance, that your first experience on my groundshould have been such an unfortunate one as we have seen; but thecarelessness of squires is often the cause of worse accidents. "

"That which has happened me in meeting you, mighty prince, " replied DonQuixote, "cannot be unfortunate, even if my fall had not stopped short ofthe depths of the bottomless pit, for the glory of having seen you wouldhave lifted me up and delivered me from it. My squire, God's curse uponhim, is better at unloosing his tongue in talking impertinence than intightening the girths of a saddle to keep it steady; but however I maybe, allen or raised up, on foot or on horseback, I shall always be atyour service and that of my lady the duchess, your worthy consort, worthyqueen of beauty and paramount princess of courtesy. "

"Gently, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, " said the duke; "where my ladyDona Dulcinea del Toboso is, it is not right that other beauties shouldbe praised. "

Sancho, by this time released from his entanglement, was standing by, andbefore his master could answer he said, "There is no denying, and it mustbe maintained, that my lady Dulcinea del Toboso is very beautiful; butthe hare jumps up where one least expects it; and I have heard say thatwhat we call nature is like a potter that makes vessels of clay, and hewho makes one fair vessel can as well make two, or three, or a hundred; Isay so because, by my faith, my lady the duchess is in no way behind mymistress the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "

Don Quixote turned to the duchess and said, "Your highness may conceivethat never had knight-errant in this world a more talkative or a drollersquire than I have, and he will prove the truth of what I say, if yourhighness is pleased to accept of my services for a few days. "

To which the duchess made answer, "that worthy Sancho is droll I considera very good thing, because it is a sign that he is shrewd; for drolleryand sprightliness, Senor Don Quixote, as you very well know, do not takeup their abode with dull wits; and as good Sancho is droll and sprightlyI here set him down as shrewd. "

"And talkative, " added Don Quixote. 

"So much the better, " said the duke, "for many droll things cannot besaid in few words; but not to lose time in talking, come, great Knight ofthe Rueful Countenance-"

"Of the Lions, your highness must say, " said Sancho, "for there is noRueful Countenance nor any such character now. "

"He of the Lions be it, " continued the duke; "I say, let Sir Knight ofthe Lions come to a castle of mine close by, where he shall be given thatreception which is due to so exalted a personage, and which the duchessand I are wont to give to all knights-errant who come there. "

By this time Sancho had fixed and girthed Rocinante's saddle, and DonQuixote having got on his back and the duke mounted a fine horse, theyplaced the duchess in the middle and set out for the castle. The duchessdesired Sancho to come to her side, for she found infinite enjoyment inlistening to his shrewd remarks. Sancho required no pressing, but pushedhimself in between them and the duke, who thought it rare good fortune toreceive such a knight-errant and such a homely squire in their castle. 

CHAPTER XXXI. 

WHICH TREATS OF MANY AND GREAT MATTERS

Supreme was the satisfaction that Sancho felt at seeing himself, as itseemed, an established favourite with the duchess, for he looked forwardto finding in her castle what he had found in Don Diego's house and inBasilio's; he was always fond of good living, and always seized by theforelock any opportunity of feasting himself whenever it presenteditself. The history informs us, then, that before they reached thecountry house or castle, the duke went on in advance and instructed allhis servants how they were to treat Don Quixote; and so the instant hecame up to the castle gates with the duchess, two lackeys or equerries, clad in what they call morning gowns of fine crimson satin reaching totheir feet, hastened out, and catching Don Quixote in their arms beforehe saw or heard them, said to him, "Your highness should go and take mylady the duchess off her horse. "

Don Quixote obeyed, and great bandying of compliments followed betweenthe two over the matter; but in the end the duchess's determinationcarried the day, and she refused to get down or dismount from her palfreyexcept in the arms of the duke, saying she did not consider herselfworthy to impose so unnecessary a burden on so great a knight. At lengththe duke came out to take her down, and as they entered a spacious courttwo fair damsels came forward and threw over Don Quixote's shoulders alarge mantle of the finest scarlet cloth, and at the same instant all thegalleries of the court were lined with the men-servants andwomen-servants of the household, crying, "Welcome, flower and cream ofknight-errantry!" while all or most of them flung pellets filled withscented water over Don Quixote and the duke and duchess; at all which DonQuixote was greatly astonished, and this was the first time that hethoroughly felt and believed himself to be a knight-errant in reality andnot merely in fancy, now that he saw himself treated in the same way ashe had read of such knights being treated in days of yore. 

Sancho, deserting Dapple, hung on to the duchess and entered the castle, but feeling some twinges of conscience at having left the ass alone, heapproached a respectable duenna who had come out with the rest to receivethe duchess, and in a low voice he said to her, "Senora Gonzalez, orhowever your grace may be called-"

"I am called Dona Rodriguez de Grijalba, " replied the duenna; "what isyour will, brother?" To which Sancho made answer, "I should be glad ifyour worship would do me the favour to go out to the castle gate, whereyou will find a grey ass of mine; make them, if you please, put him inthe stable, or put him there yourself, for the poor little beast israther easily frightened, and cannot bear being alone at all. "

"If the master is as wise as the man, " said the duenna, "we have got afine bargain. Be off with you, brother, and bad luck to you and him whobrought you here; go, look after your ass, for we, the duennas of thishouse, are not used to work of that sort. "

"Well then, in troth, " returned Sancho, "I have heard my master, who isthe very treasure-finder of stories, telling the story of Lancelot whenhe came from Britain, say that ladies waited upon him and duennas uponhis hack; and, if it comes to my ass, I wouldn't change him for SenorLancelot's hack. "

"If you are a jester, brother, " said the duenna, "keep your drolleriesfor some place where they'll pass muster and be paid for; for you'll getnothing from me but a fig. "

"At any rate, it will be a very ripe one, " said Sancho, "for you won'tlose the trick in years by a point too little. "

"Son of a bitch, " said the duenna, all aglow with anger, "whether I'm oldor not, it's with God I have to reckon, not with you, you garlic-stuffedscoundrel!" and she said it so loud, that the duchess heard it, andturning round and seeing the duenna in such a state of excitement, andher eyes flaming so, asked whom she was wrangling with. 

"With this good fellow here, " said the duenna, "who has particularlyrequested me to go and put an ass of his that is at the castle gate intothe stable, holding it up to me as an example that they did the same Idon't know where--that some ladies waited on one Lancelot, and duennas onhis hack; and what is more, to wind up with, he called me old. "

"That, " said the duchess, "I should have considered the greatest affrontthat could be offered me;" and addressing Sancho, she said to him, "Youmust know, friend Sancho, that Dona Rodriguez is very youthful, and thatshe wears that hood more for authority and custom sake than because ofher years. "

"May all the rest of mine be unlucky, " said Sancho, "if I meant it thatway; I only spoke because the affection I have for my ass is so great, and I thought I could not commend him to a more kind-hearted person thanthe lady Dona Rodriguez. "

Don Quixote, who was listening, said to him, "Is this proper conversationfor the place, Sancho?"

"Senor, " replied Sancho, "every one must mention what he wants whereverhe may be; I thought of Dapple here, and I spoke of him here; if I hadthought of him in the stable I would have spoken there. "

On which the duke observed, "Sancho is quite right, and there is noreason at all to find fault with him; Dapple shall be fed to his heart'scontent, and Sancho may rest easy, for he shall be treated like himself. "

While this conversation, amusing to all except Don Quixote, wasproceeding, they ascended the staircase and ushered Don Quixote into achamber hung with rich cloth of gold and brocade; six damsels relievedhim of his armour and waited on him like pages, all of them prepared andinstructed by the duke and duchess as to what they were to do, and howthey were to treat Don Quixote, so that he might see and believe theywere treating him like a knight-errant. When his armour was removed, there stood Don Quixote in his tight-fitting breeches and chamoisdoublet, lean, lanky, and long, with cheeks that seemed to be kissingeach other inside; such a figure, that if the damsels waiting on him hadnot taken care to check their merriment (which was one of the particulardirections their master and mistress had given them), they would haveburst with laughter. They asked him to let himself be stripped that theymight put a shirt on him, but he would not on any account, saying thatmodesty became knights-errant just as much as valour. However, he saidthey might give the shirt to Sancho; and shutting himself in with him ina room where there was a sumptuous bed, he undressed and put on theshirt; and then, finding himself alone with Sancho, he said to him, "Tellme, thou new-fledged buffoon and old booby, dost thou think it right tooffend and insult a duenna so deserving of reverence and respect as thatone just now? Was that a time to bethink thee of thy Dapple, or are thesenoble personages likely to let the beasts fare badly when they treattheir owners in such elegant style? For God's sake, Sancho, restrainthyself, and don't show the thread so as to let them see what a coarse, boorish texture thou art of. Remember, sinner that thou art, the masteris the more esteemed the more respectable and well-bred his servants are;and that one of the greatest advantages that princes have over other menis that they have servants as good as themselves to wait on them. Dostthou not see--shortsighted being that thou art, and unlucky mortal that Iam!--that if they perceive thee to be a coarse clown or a dull blockhead, they will suspect me to be some impostor or swindler? Nay, nay, Sanchofriend, keep clear, oh, keep clear of these stumbling-blocks; for he whofalls into the way of being a chatterbox and droll, drops into a wretchedbuffoon the first time he trips; bridle thy tongue, consider and weighthy words before they escape thy mouth, and bear in mind we are now inquarters whence, by God's help, and the strength of my arm, we shall comeforth mightily advanced in fame and fortune. "

Sancho promised him with much earnestness to keep his mouth shut, and tobite off his tongue before he uttered a word that was not altogether tothe purpose and well considered, and told him he might make his mind easyon that point, for it should never be discovered through him what theywere. 

Don Quixote dressed himself, put on his baldric with his sword, threw thescarlet mantle over his shoulders, placed on his head a montera of greensatin that the damsels had given him, and thus arrayed passed out intothe large room, where he found the damsels drawn up in double file, thesame number on each side, all with the appliances for washing the hands, which they presented to him with profuse obeisances and ceremonies. Thencame twelve pages, together with the seneschal, to lead him to dinner, ashis hosts were already waiting for him. They placed him in the midst ofthem, and with much pomp and stateliness they conducted him into anotherroom, where there was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers. Theduchess and the duke came out to the door of the room to receive him, andwith them a grave ecclesiastic, one of those who rule noblemen's houses;one of those who, not being born magnates themselves, never know how toteach those who are how to behave as such; one of those who would havethe greatness of great folk measured by their own narrowness of mind; oneof those who, when they try to introduce economy into the household theyrule, lead it into meanness. One of this sort, I say, must have been thegrave churchman who came out with the duke and duchess to receive DonQuixote. 

A vast number of polite speeches were exchanged, and at length, takingDon Quixote between them, they proceeded to sit down to table. The dukepressed Don Quixote to take the head of the table, and, though herefused, the entreaties of the duke were so urgent that he had to acceptit. 

The ecclesiastic took his seat opposite to him, and the duke and duchessthose at the sides. All this time Sancho stood by, gaping with amazementat the honour he saw shown to his master by these illustrious persons;and observing all the ceremonious pressing that had passed between theduke and Don Quixote to induce him to take his seat at the head of thetable, he said, "If your worship will give me leave I will tell you astory of what happened in my village about this matter of seats. "

The moment Sancho said this Don Quixote trembled, making sure that he wasabout to say something foolish. Sancho glanced at him, and guessing histhoughts, said, "Don't be afraid of my going astray, senor, or sayinganything that won't be pat to the purpose; I haven't forgotten the adviceyour worship gave me just now about talking much or little, well or ill. "

"I have no recollection of anything, Sancho, " said Don Quixote; "say whatthou wilt, only say it quickly. "

"Well then, " said Sancho, "what I am going to say is so true that mymaster Don Quixote, who is here present, will keep me from lying. "

"Lie as much as thou wilt for all I care, Sancho, " said Don Quixote, "forI am not going to stop thee, but consider what thou art going to say. "

"I have so considered and reconsidered, " said Sancho, "that thebell-ringer's in a safe berth; as will be seen by what follows. "

"It would be well, " said Don Quixote, "if your highnesses would orderthem to turn out this idiot, for he will talk a heap of nonsense. "

"By the life of the duke, Sancho shall not be taken away from me for amoment, " said the duchess; "I am very fond of him, for I know he is verydiscreet. "

"Discreet be the days of your holiness, " said Sancho, "for the goodopinion you have of my wit, though there's none in me; but the story Iwant to tell is this. There was an invitation given by a gentleman of mytown, a very rich one, and one of quality, for he was one of the Alamosof Medina del Campo, and married to Dona Mencia de Quinones, the daughterof Don Alonso de Maranon, Knight of the Order of Santiago, that wasdrowned at the Herradura--him there was that quarrel about years ago inour village, that my master Don Quixote was mixed up in, to the best ofmy belief, that Tomasillo the scapegrace, the son of Balbastro the smith, was wounded in. --Isn't all this true, master mine? As you live, say so, that these gentlefolk may not take me for some lying chatterer. "

"So far, " said the ecclesiastic, "I take you to be more a chatterer thana liar; but I don't know what I shall take you for by-and-by. "

"Thou citest so many witnesses and proofs, Sancho, " said Don Quixote, "that I have no choice but to say thou must be telling the truth; go on, and cut the story short, for thou art taking the way not to make an endfor two days to come. "

"He is not to cut it short, " said the duchess; "on the contrary, for mygratification, he is to tell it as he knows it, though he should notfinish it these six days; and if he took so many they would be to me thepleasantest I ever spent. "

"Well then, sirs, I say, " continued Sancho, "that this same gentleman, whom I know as well as I do my own hands, for it's not a bowshot from myhouse to his, invited a poor but respectable labourer-"

"Get on, brother, " said the churchman; "at the rate you are going youwill not stop with your story short of the next world. "

"I'll stop less than half-way, please God, " said Sancho; "and so I saythis labourer, coming to the house of the gentleman I spoke of thatinvited him--rest his soul, he is now dead; and more by token he died thedeath of an angel, so they say; for I was not there, for just at thattime I had gone to reap at Tembleque-"

"As you live, my son, " said the churchman, "make haste back fromTembleque, and finish your story without burying the gentleman, unlessyou want to make more funerals. "

"Well then, it so happened, " said Sancho, "that as the pair of them weregoing to sit down to table--and I think I can see them now plainer thanever-"

Great was the enjoyment the duke and duchess derived from the irritationthe worthy churchman showed at the long-winded, halting way Sancho had oftelling his story, while Don Quixote was chafing with rage and vexation. 

"So, as I was saying, " continued Sancho, "as the pair of them were goingto sit down to table, as I said, the labourer insisted upon thegentleman's taking the head of the table, and the gentleman insisted uponthe labourer's taking it, as his orders should be obeyed in his house;but the labourer, who plumed himself on his politeness and good breeding, would not on any account, until the gentleman, out of patience, puttinghis hands on his shoulders, compelled him by force to sit down, saying, 'Sit down, you stupid lout, for wherever I sit will be the head to you;and that's the story, and, troth, I think it hasn't been brought in amisshere. "

Don Quixote turned all colours, which, on his sunburnt face, mottled ittill it looked like jasper. The duke and duchess suppressed theirlaughter so as not altogether to mortify Don Quixote, for they sawthrough Sancho's impertinence; and to change the conversation, and keepSancho from uttering more absurdities, the duchess asked Don Quixote whatnews he had of the lady Dulcinea, and if he had sent her any presents ofgiants or miscreants lately, for he could not but have vanquished a goodmany. 

To which Don Quixote replied, "Senora, my misfortunes, though they had abeginning, will never have an end. I have vanquished giants and I havesent her caitiffs and miscreants; but where are they to find her if sheis enchanted and turned into the most ill-favoured peasant wench that canbe imagined?"

"I don't know, " said Sancho Panza; "to me she seems the fairest creaturein the world; at any rate, in nimbleness and jumping she won't give in toa tumbler; by my faith, senora duchess, she leaps from the ground on tothe back of an ass like a cat. "

"Have you seen her enchanted, Sancho?" asked the duke. 

"What, seen her!" said Sancho; "why, who the devil was it but myself thatfirst thought of the enchantment business? She is as much enchanted as myfather. "

The ecclesiastic, when he heard them talking of giants and caitiffs andenchantments, began to suspect that this must be Don Quixote of LaMancha, whose story the duke was always reading; and he had himself oftenreproved him for it, telling him it was foolish to read such fooleries;and becoming convinced that his suspicion was correct, addressing theduke, he said very angrily to him, "Senor, your excellence will have togive account to God for what this good man does. This Don Quixote, or DonSimpleton, or whatever his name is, cannot, I imagine, be such ablockhead as your excellence would have him, holding out encouragement tohim to go on with his vagaries and follies. " Then turning to address DonQuixote he said, "And you, num-skull, who put it into your head that youare a knight-errant, and vanquish giants and capture miscreants? Go yourways in a good hour, and in a good hour be it said to you. Go home andbring up your children if you have any, and attend to your business, andgive over going wandering about the world, gaping and making alaughing-stock of yourself to all who know you and all who don't. Where, in heaven's name, have you discovered that there are or ever wereknights-errant? Where are there giants in Spain or miscreants in LaMancha, or enchanted Dulcineas, or all the rest of the silly things theytell about you?"

Don Quixote listened attentively to the reverend gentleman's words, andas soon as he perceived he had done speaking, regardless of the presenceof the duke and duchess, he sprang to his feet with angry looks and anagitated countenance, and said--But the reply deserves a chapter toitself.