Transcriber's Note: Table of Contents added. 

 * * * * *

 [Illustration: THE WALLYPUG IN LONDON By G. E. FARROW. ]

THE WALLYPUG IN LONDON

 [Illustration: HIS MAJESTY ARRIVES AT WINDSOR. SEE PAGE 143]

 THE WALLYPUG IN LONDON

 BY G. E. FARROW AUTHOR OF "THE WALLYPUG OF WHY, " "THE MISSING PRINCE, " ETC

 ILLUSTRATED BY ALAN WRIGHT

 METHUEN & CO. 36 ESSEX STREET, W. C. LONDON 1898

 CONTENTS

 CHANT ROYAL PREFACE I HIS MAJESTY AND SUITE ARRIVE II THE NEXT DAY'S ADVENTURES III SUNDRY SMALL HAPPENINGS IV LOST V AN 'AT HOME' AND THE ACADEMY VI THE JUBILEE VII MORE ADVENTURES VIII HIS MAJESTY IS INTERVIEWED IX THE WALLYPUG'S OWN X THE WALLYPUG GOES TO WINDSOR XI HIS MAJESTY AT THE SEASIDE XII THE DEPARTURE

CHANT ROYAL

ADDRESSED TO

HER MOST GRACIOUS MAJESTY QUEEN VICTORIA

IN COMMEMORATION OF 22ND JUNE, 1897

 VICTORIA! by grace of God our Queen, To thee thy children truest homage pay. Thy children! ay, for Mother thou hast been, And by a mother's love thou holdest sway. Thy greatest empire is thy Nation's heart, And thou hast chosen this the better part. Behold, an off'ring meet thy people bring; Hark! to the mighty world-sound gathering From shore to shore, and echoing o'er the sea, Attend! ye Nations while our paeans ring-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 The grandest sight the world hath ever seen Thy kingdom offers. Clothed in fair array, The Majesty of Love and Peace serene, While hosts unnumbered loyalty display, Striving to show, by every loving art, The day for them can have no counterpart. Lo! sixty years of joy and sorrowing For Queen and People, either borrowing From other sympathy, in woe or glee, Hath knit their hearts to thine, wherefore they sing-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 With royal dignity and gracious mien Thine high position thou hast graced alway; No cloud of discord e'er hath come between Thy nation and thyself; the fierce white ray That beats upon thy throne bids hence depart The faintest slander calumny can dart. Thy fame is dear alike to churl and king, And highest honour lies in honouring The Sovereign to whom we bend the knee; "God save the Queen, " one strain unvarying-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 What prophet, or what seer, with vision keen, Reading the message of a far-off day, The wonders of thy reign could have foreseen, Or known the story that shall last for aye? A page that History shall set apart; Peace and Prosperity in port and mart, Honour abroad, and on resistless wing A steady progress ever-conquering. Thy glorious reign, our glorious theme shall be, And gratitude in every heart upspring-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 Behold, ye tyrants, and a lesson glean How subjects may be governed. Lo! the way A Woman teaches who doth ne'er demean Her office high. Hark! how her people pray For blessings on the head that doth impart So wise a rule. For them no wrongs do smart, No cruelties oppress, no insults sting, Nor does a despot hand exaction wring; Though governed, Britain's subjects still are free. Gaze then--ye unwise rulers wondering-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 ENVOY. 

 Queen Mother, love of thee doth ever spring Within thy children's hearts, a priceless thing, Nor pomp nor state that falleth unto thee Can ever rival this grand carolling-- Victoria's children sing her Jubilee. 

 G. E. FARROW

 [Illustration: PREFACE]

MY DEAR LITTLE FRIENDS, You will no doubt be surprised to find this book commencing with aperfectly serious poem, and one which probably some of you will finda little difficulty in understanding. When you have grown older, however, and happen to look at this little book again, you will beglad to be reminded of the historic event which the poem commemorates. Now, about ourselves, when I asked in my last book, _The MissingPrince_, for letters from my little readers, I had no idea that I hadso many young friends, and I can hardly tell you how delighted I havebeen at receiving such a number of kind letters from all parts of theworld. 

I do hope that I have answered everyone, but really there have been somany, and if by mistake any should have been overlooked, I hope mylittle correspondents will write again and give me an opportunity ofrepairing the omission. 

Such charming little letters, and all, I am happy to find, reallywritten by the children themselves, which makes them doubly valuableto me. 

And how funny and amusing some of them were to be sure! And whatcapital stories some of you have told me about your pets. 

Some pathetic incidents too; as, for instance, that of 'Shellyback, 'the tortoise, whose little owner wrote a few months after her firstletter to say that poor 'Shellyback' was dead. 

I have been very happy to notice how fond you all seem of your pets, for I have always found that children who make friends with animalsinvariably have kind and good hearts. And the poor dumb creaturesthemselves are always so ready to respond to any little act ofkindness, and are so grateful and affectionate, that I am sure it addsgreatly to one's happiness in life to interest oneself in them. 

One of my correspondents, aged eight, has embarrassed me very muchindeed by suggesting that I should "wait for her till she grows up, "as she should "so like to marry a gentleman who told stories. " I hopeshe didn't mean that I did anything so disgraceful; and besides, as itwould take nearly twenty-five years for her to catch up to me, she_might_ change her mind in that time, and then what would become ofme. 

Some of my letters from abroad have been very interesting. One dearlittle girl at Darjeeling, in India, wrote a very nice descriptiveletter, and concluded by asking me to write "something about thestars, " and speaking of new stories brings me to another subject thatI wish to talk to you about. 

You know that I spoke in my last book about writing a school story, and one about animals. Well, when I found that so many of you wantedto hear "more about the Wallypug, " I was obliged to put these twobooks aside in order to gratify your wishes. I hope that you will beas interested in hearing about his Majesty this time as you were last. 

You will be sure to notice that the pictures are by another artist, but Mr. Harry Furniss has been away from England for some months, andso it has been impossible for him to illustrate this volume. Someother time, perhaps, Dorothy and he will give us more of their work;but in the meantime Mr. Alan Wright has been very interested indrawing pictures for this book, and I hope you will be pleased withhis efforts. 

Now, about writing to me next time. When I asked you to address meunder care of my publishers, I did not realize that in the course ofbusiness I might find it necessary to change them sometimes, and so toavoid any possibility of confusion, will you please in future addressall letters to

 MR. G. E. FARROW, c/o Messrs. A. P. WATT & SON, Hastings House, Norfolk Street, Strand. 

What am I to do with all the beautiful Christmas and New Year's cardswhich I have received? Will you be vexed if, after having enjoyedreceiving them as I have done so much, I give them to the poor littlechildren at the hospitals to make scrap books with? I happen to knowhow much they value and appreciate gifts of this kind, and by allowingme to bestow them in this way, your pretty presents will be giving adouble happiness. 

Well, I must conclude this rather long letter now, or I shall beaccused of being tedious; but really it gives me almost as muchpleasure to write to you, as it does to receive your letters. Good-bye. Don't forget that many of you have promised to write to meagain, and that I am always more than glad to welcome any new friends. 

 Believe me, dear Children, Yours affectionately, G. E. FARROW

 [Illustration: The Wallypug in London. ]

CHAPTER I

HIS MAJESTY AND SUITE ARRIVE

A most extraordinary thing has happened; the Wallypug has been toLondon! But there, I am forgetting that possibly you have never read_The Wallypug of Why_, in which case you will, of course, know nothingabout his Majesty, and so I had better explain to you who, and what, he is. 

To begin with, then, he is a kind of king of a place called Why, whichadjoins the mysterious kingdom of Zum. I am afraid, though, that ifyou searched your atlases for a very long while you might not findeither of these places, for the geographers are so undecided as totheir exact position that they have not shown them on the maps at all. Some little friends of mine, named Girlie and Boy, have been there, however, and I can tell you, if you like, the way they went. This isthe way to Why:

 Just go to bed and shut your eyes And count one hundred, one by one; Perhaps you'll find to your surprise That you're at Why when this is done. 

I say _perhaps_, because this only happens when you have beenparticularly good all day, and _sometimes_ boys and girls are notquite as good as they--but there, I won't say what I was going to, forI am quite sure that it would not apply to you. This is the way toZum:

 Not when the moon is at its full, But just a tiny boat-shaped thing, You _may_ see Pierrot sitting there And hear the little fellow sing. If so, just call him, and he'll come And carry you away to Zum. 

There, now, I've told you the way to go to both places, so that, ifyou wish to, you can go there whenever you please. 

I am telling you all this because one day in the spring Girlie andBoy, who live in another part of London, came to see me, and we hadbeen talking about these things for about the hundredth time, I shouldthink: for these children are never tired of telling me of all thestrange things which happened to them when they journey to thesewonderful places. In fact they were just arguing as to which was themost interesting place to go to, Why or Zum, when my housekeeper, Mrs. Putchy, came to the door with the unwelcome news that the carriage hadcome for my little friends, and that it was time to say good-bye. After they had gone I sat staring into the fire wondering where Whycould be, and if there was really such a person as the Wallypug, whenmy little dog Dick, who had been lying on the rug before the fire, suddenly jumped up, and barking excitedly, ran to the other end of thestudy, where a picture, which I had bought the day before at anauction sale, stood leaning against the wall. Now this picture hadbeen sold very cheap, because no one could tell at all what it wasabout, it was so old and dusty, and the colours were so dark andindistinct. I had bought it hoping that it might prove valuable, and there it stood till it could be sent to be cleaned and restored. Imagine my surprise then, when, on following Dick across the study, Idiscovered that the colours in the picture had all become bright, andwere working one into the other in the most remarkable way, redrunning into green, and blue into yellow, while a little patch ofblack in the centre of the picture was whirling round and round inquite a distracting manner. What could it all mean? I stared andwondered, till, out of the confusion, there gradually grew shapeswhich bore some resemblance to human beings, and, presently, I couldrecognize quite distinctly, first a young man in knee breeches, smiling in a particularly self-satisfied way, and escorting a largefish, who was walking upright, with slippers on his tail, and whowore a waistcoat and necktie. Then an amiable-looking old gentleman, carrying a wand, who was followed by a curious little person, wearinga crown and carrying an orb and sceptre. A particularly stiff andwooden-looking soldier stood at the back of this strange group. Judgeof my amazement when, quite as a matter of course, the whole partydeliberately stepped out of the picture into the room, and, before Icould realize what had happened, the old gentleman with the wand cameforward with a flourish and an elaborate bow, and announced:

"A-hem! his Majesty the Wallypug of Why and suite. "

 [Illustration: WITH SLIPPERS ON HIS TAIL]

I was so astonished that for the moment I could not think what to say, but at last I managed to stammer, as I made a low bow to theWallypug:

"I am delighted to make your Majesty's acquaintance. "

The Wallypug smiled very affably, and held out his hand. 

"I have come up for the Jubilee, you know, " he said. 

"_We've_ come up, you mean to say, Wallypug, " corrected the oldgentleman with the wand, frowning somewhat severely. "I am theWallypug's professional adviser, " he continued. "I am called theDoctor-in-Law--allow me to introduce the rest of our party. This, " hewent on, bringing the young man with the self-satisfied smile forward, "is the Jubilee Rhymester from Zum; he hopes to become a minor poet intime. And this, " indicating the wooden-looking soldier, "is SergeantOne-and-Nine, also from Zum. " Here the Doctor-in-Law took me aside andwhispered in my ear, "Slightly cracked, crossed in love; speaks verypeculiarly; capital chap though. " Then crossing to where the Fish wasstanding, he said, "And this is A. Fish, Esq. , the celebrated lectureron the 'Whichness of the What as compared with the Thatness of theThus. ' He desired to accompany us here in order to find materialfor a new lecture which he is preparing upon the 'Perhapness of theImprobable. ' He's awfully clever, " he whispered impressively. 

 [Illustration: "HIS MAJESTY THE WALLYPUG"]

"I'm sure I'm delighted to see you all, " I said, shaking hands witheach one till I came to the Fish, who held out a fin. "Er-er-how doyou do?" I stammered, somewhat taken aback by this strange proceeding. 

"Quide well with the egscebtiod of a slide cold id by head, " said theFish. "I'b subjecd to theb, you doe. It's beig id the water so butch, I fadcy, " and he _smiled_. 

I don't know if you have ever seen a fish smile, but if not I may tellyou that it is a very curious sight. 

"I suppose you can manage to put us up here for a month or two?"calmly suggested the Doctor-in-Law after a pause. 

"Dear me, " I exclaimed in alarm, "I don't think my housekeeper couldpossibly--"

"Why not ask her?" suggested the Doctor-in-Law, touching the bell. 

A moment or two afterwards a knock at the door announced that Mrs. Putchy was there. 

"Oh, Mrs. Putchy, " I said, stepping just outside, "these gentlemen, er--that is to say, his Majesty the Wallypug of Why and suite, havehonoured me with a visit, and I am anxious if possible to offer themsuch hospitality as my poor home affords. Do you think that we couldmanage anyhow to find room for them, for a few days at any rate?"

Now Mrs. Putchy is a very remarkable woman, and I have never known herto show the slightest surprise at anything, and, so far from seemingalarmed at the prospect of having to entertain such notable visitors, she seemed positively delighted. 

"His Majesty of Why, sir? How charming! Of course we must do our best, and how fortunate that I put on my best gown to-day, isn't it? Dearme, and shall I be presented to his Majesty?"

"Certainly, Mrs. Putchy, if you wish it, " I said. "In fact, if youwill call General Mary Jane, I will introduce you both, as yourepresent my entire household. "

Mrs. Putchy disappeared, returning almost immediately, followed by theservant, General Mary Jane, with her mouth wide open, and accompaniedby the cat, who rejoices in the extraordinary name of Mrs. MehetableMurchison. These members of my household were duly presented to theWallypug. Mrs. Putchy made her curtsey with great dignity, but GeneralMary Jane was so overcome at the thought of being presented to royaltythat she fell flat on her hands and knees in her humility, while Mrs. Mehetable Murchison, realizing, no doubt, the truth of the old sayingthat "a cat may look at a king, " went up and sharpened her claws onthe Wallypug's legs in the most friendly manner possible. 

It was when the cat caught sight of A. Fish, Esq. , that she completelylost her presence of mind, and with arched back and bristling furglared at him in amazement. 

"Priddy pussy, cub alog thed, " said the Fish, stooping down and tryingto stroke her with one of his fins; but Mrs. Mehetable Murchison, witha startled glance, tore out of the room, showing every sign of alarm. 

"And she's so fond of fish too, as a rule, ain't she, mum?" remarkedGeneral Mary Jane, who had somewhat overcome the awe with which shehad at first regarded the presence of royalty. 

"Fod of fish?" repeated A. Fish, Esq. , inquiringly. "What do youmead?"

"Why, you see, sir, " explained Mrs. Putchy, "we often have fish fordinner--er--that is to say--er--a-hem!"

 [Illustration: "PRIDDY PUSSY"]

The Fish was glaring at her in a horrified way, and Mrs. Putchy hadbecome quite nervous. 

"Let's change the subject, " suggested the Doctor-in-Law, to our greatrelief. "The most important question for the moment is, where are weall going to sleep?"

This gave Mrs. Putchy an opportunity for exercising her wonderfulability for management, and after arranging for the Wallypug to havethe spare bedroom, and the Doctor-in-Law to have my room, I was tohave a bed made up in the study, while the Jubilee Rhymester was tosleep in the attic, One-and-Nine was to have a box under the stairs, and there only remained A. Fish, Esq. , to dispose of. 

"There is the bathroom, mum, " suggested General Mary Jane brilliantly;"we could put a lid on the bath and make up a bed there. "

"Bedder sdill, fill id with wadter, ad thed I could sleeb _in_ id, "suggested the Fish. 

"Oh yes, of course!" said Mrs. Putchy, "and now I must go and seeabout the supper. " And, with a low curtsey to the Wallypug, theadmirable little woman hurried out, followed by General Mary Jane, whogave a nervous little bob when she reached the door. 

They had scarcely disappeared before One-and-Nine came up to me andwhispered:

"I am muchly impressionated by that lady with the most militaryishname who has just gone out. Can you kindly inform me is shedetached?"

"Detached?" I inquired in bewilderment. "What ever do you mean?"

"If a person is not attached to anyone else, they are detached, Isuppose, are they not?" said One-and-Nine rather impatiently. 

"Well, if you put it that way, I suppose they are, " I replied, laughing. "You mean, has she a sweetheart? Well, really I don't know. I have an idea though that Mrs. Putchy does not allow followers. "

"Then I shall considerize my prospectuousness with great hopefulosity!"remarked the soldier with considerable dignity, walking back to theWallypug's chair. 

"What does he say?" asked the Jubilee Rhymester. "He is a little bitcracked, you know. Could you make out what he was driving at?"

"Oh, yes, I could understand within a little what he meant, " Ireplied. "He seems to have fallen in love with General Mary Jane atfirst sight, from what I can gather. "

"Really! Dear me! He is always doing that sort of thing, do you know, and he generally asks me to write poems for him when he gets into thatstate. I have written as many as 137 odes in one month on his behalf. "

"Good gracious, " I replied, "and does he pay you well for them?"

"Pay me!" exclaimed the Jubilee Rhymester, staring at me in surprise. "Of course not. Do people ever get paid for writing poetry?"

"Why, yes, to be sure they do, " I answered. 

"Well, I've never heard of such a thing in all my life, " said theJubilee Rhymester; "I always thought that poets had to pay to havetheir verses used at all, and that that was why they were always sopoor while they were alive. Of course I knew that people sometimesmade a fuss about them after they were dead, but I have never heardof such a thing as a live poet being paid for his work. "

"Nonsense, " I replied; "I believe that quite a lot of money issometimes paid by the magazines and other papers for poems andverses. "

"Well, I am delighted to hear it, " said the Jubilee Rhymester, "and Ishall certainly start writing to-morrow. I have no doubt whatever thatI shall make my fortune before I go back to Zum. "

Shortly after this Mrs. Putchy announced that supper was served, anda little later my guests retired to rest, being thoroughly tired outwith their long journey. I sat up in my study a little while longer tosmoke a pipe, but was just thinking of going to bed when there was atap at the door and the Doctor-in-Law entered. 

"I say, I thought I had better come and arrange with you about moneymatters, " he said; "I didn't like to mention such things before theothers. Now then, " he continued, "how much are you going to pay us forstaying with you?"

"Pay _you_!" I gasped. "What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, you see, it will be a great thing for you to have suchdistinguished visitors, don't you know, and you ought to be quitewilling to pay liberally for the honour, " said the Doctor-in-Law, smiling amiably. 

Now Girlie had told me what a greedy, avaricious person theDoctor-in-Law really was, despite his benevolent appearance, but thiscool cheek almost took my breath away. I was determined, however, tolet him see at once that I was not to be imposed upon, so I said asfirmly as I could, "Now, look here, Mr. Doctor-in-Law, please understandonce and for all, that as you were all so kind to my little friendGirlie when she was at Why, I am quite willing to entertain his Majestythe Wallypug, and the rest of you, to the very best of my ability, butas for paying you for being here, the idea is absurd--impossible!"

 [Illustration: "ID QUIDE GAVE BE A TURN"]

Just then a terrific hullabaloo in the passage caused us both to runto the door. We could hear that the noise proceeded from the bathroom, and, hurrying to the door, we found A. Fish, Esq. , sitting up in thewater shouting for help, while Mrs. Mehetable Murchison and a wholegroup of her feline friends were out on the tiles, glaring through thewindow. 

"Dear be, dear be, " panted the Fish, when he saw us, "I'b sofrighteded, just look at all those cats. I had beed to sleeb ad wasjust dreabig that sobeone was sayig, 'Mrs. Behetable Burchison is _so_fod of fish, and we ofted have fish for didder, ' whed I woke ub andsaw all those horrible cats lookig id ad the widdow; id quide gave bea turn. Do drive theb away please. "

We soon did this, and, pulling down the blinds, we left A. Fish, Esq. , to his dreams and soon afterwards retired to rest ourselves. 

CHAPTER II

THE NEXT DAY'S ADVENTURES

When I entered the breakfast room the next morning I found that theWallypug and the Doctor-in-Law had been up for some time, and wereboth gazing out of the window with the greatest of interest. 

"I hope your Majesty slept well, " I remarked to the Wallypug as Iapproached them. 

"Very well indeed, thank you, " he replied smilingly. "TheDoctor-in-Law and myself have just been saying that we are sure tohave an enjoyable visit here. We have been greatly interested in theman-machines going past. We have never seen anything like thembefore. "

"The man-machines!" I exclaimed, puzzled to know whatever he couldmean. 

"Yes, the men with wheels instead of legs, you know. "

"Oh, you mean the bicyclists, " I replied, laughing. "Have you reallynever seen any before?"

"No, indeed, " replied his Majesty. "Are they born with wheels on, ordo they grow afterwards?"

I laughed, and fortunately just then the youngster opposite, whoalways rides to school on his bicycle, came out of doors wheeling hismachine, and I was able to explain to the Wallypug the principle uponwhich they worked. 

"Dear me; the Doctor-in-Law told me that the machinery was part of theman, but now I see that it is separate. And he charged me sixpence forthe information too, " he complained, looking reproachfully at theDoctor-in-Law. 

"Charged you sixpence!" I cried. 

"Yes, " replied the poor Wallypug. "He offered to tell me all aboutthem for sixpence, and as I was really very curious to know I gave itto him, and then he informed me that they were a peculiar race ofpeople who came from Coventry, and who were all born with wheelsinstead of legs. "

"Take your old sixpence then, if you are going to make all that fussabout it, " said the Doctor-in-Law, crossly, throwing the coin down onthe table and walking out of the room in a huff. "I'm sure I did readsomewhere that they came from Coventry, " he added, popping his head inat the door and then slamming it violently after him. 

The boy opposite was still riding up and down the road, and I made upmy mind that although I had never spoken to him before, I would askhim to let the Wallypug examine his bicycle more closely. 

"With pleasure, " he replied, raising his hat politely to the Wallypug, when I had explained who he was; "and if his Majesty would like to tryit he is quite welcome to do so. "

The Doctor-in-Law's curiosity had so far overcome his ill-humour that, when he saw us talking to the boy, he came forward and offered to helpthe Wallypug to mount. 

"I really don't think he had better, " I said, "he might damage themachine. "

"Oh no, he won't hurt it, I'm sure, " said the boy generously; and sowith our united assistance the Wallypug got on to the bicycle, andafter a few preliminary wobblings started off in fine style. Fasterand faster he went, clinging desperately to the handle-bars, till we, who were running beside him, could no longer keep pace with him. 

 [Illustration: THE START]

"I can't stop, " we heard him shout; and a moment later he chargedstraight at a large stone and half a brick which lay in the middle ofthe roadway. 

Poor Wallypug! The sudden impact threw him right over the handle-bars, and he landed in a huddled heap on his hands and knees in the gutter. The machine flew in half, and the front portion careered madly awayby itself till stopped by the kerb. 

We hurried up to his Majesty to discover if he was much hurt, but, with the exception of a few scratches on his hands and knees and athorough shaking, he seemed to have come off pretty well. 

 [Illustration: THE FINISH]

"I suppose we can't stick it together again?" he inquired, gazingruefully at the broken bicycle, and I was obliged to tell him thatthere was not much chance of our doing so. The boy to whom it belongedbravely made the best of the matter, especially when I told him thatthe next half-holiday he had I would take him to Holborn to chooseanother one in its place. 

And when I discovered that he had a half-holiday that very afternoon, it was arranged that General Mary Jane should order a carriage at thelivery stable, and that we should all drive to the city afterluncheon. 

The Wallypug, after a good wash and a hearty breakfast, went to hisroom to lie down for an hour or two to recover from the effects of hisaccident, and I was just answering my morning letters when there was aknock at the study door, and the Rhymester entered. 

 [Illustration: HIPPETY-HOPPETY-PLOP]

"I sat up most of the night writing poetry, " he remarked, "and I havejust brought you one or two specimens. The first one is called 'TheOde of a Toad. ' Perhaps I had better read it to you. My writing israther peculiar, " and he began as follows:

THE ODE OF A TOAD. 

 There was once an old toad who lived under a tree, Hippety hop--Flippety flop, And his head was as bald as bald could be, He was deaf as a post and could hardly see, But a giddy and frivolous toad was he, With his hippety-hoppety-plop. 

 And he gambolled and danced on the village green, Hippety hop--Flippety flop, In a way that had never before been seen, Tho' he wasn't so young as once he had been, And the people all wondered whate'er he could mean, With his hippety-hoppety-plop. 

 But the old chap kept bobbing about just the same, Hippety hop--Flippety flop, Till everyone thought he _must_ make himself lame, And not a soul ever could find out his aim, In keeping up such a ridiculous game, As his hippety-hoppety-plop. 

 Some said he was mad, tho' as mild as a dove, Hippety hop--Flippety flop, And as the result of a push or a shove, Was a little bit cracked in the storey above, _But I fancy myself the old boy was in love_, With his hippety-hoppety-plop. 

"There! What do you think of it?" he asked when he had finished. 

"Well, candidly, I'm afraid not very much, " I replied; "and what onearth do you call it an ode for?"

"Why, you see, ode went so well with the word toad. I was going tocall it 'Ode to a Toad, ' but it isn't _to_ a toad at all, though it'sabout a toad. Ah! by the bye, I might call it 'A Toad's Ode, ' mightn'tI? I think that sounds very jolly. " He altered the title in pencil. 

 [Illustration: "I LOVE BUT THEE"]

"I have another which I think you will say is very touching. " Andafter getting his handkerchief out in case he should be moved totears, he began:

THE BALLADE OF A BUN. 

 Don't talk to me of "Sally Lunn, " Or toasted tea-cake nice and hot, I do not care for either one A single solitary jot; My heart is fixed and changeth not, In all the world--whate'er I see, And rich or poor--whate'er my lot-- Oh! penny bun, I love but thee. 

 For thy dear sake all cakes I shun Smeared o'er with jam. No apricot Or greengage tart my heart hath won; Their sweetness doth but cloy and clot. What marmalade in fancy pot Or cream meringue, though fair it be, Thine image e'er can mar or blot? Oh! penny bun, I love but thee. 

 I vowed to cherish thee, or none (Such love thy simple charms begot), When first I saw thee, precious one; And now to some sweet lonely spot, Some shady dell or mossy grot, Come let us hasten, you and me, And I will eat you like a shot; Oh! penny bun, I love but thee. 

 _Envoy. _

 Small boys or girls that homeward trot From school in time for early tea, This moral ne'er must be forgot: "Love penny buns, and they'll love thee. "

"Isn't it affecting?" he inquired, wiping his eyes when he hadfinished. 

"Well, perhaps I didn't quite appreciate the pathos of it as I mighthave done, " I answered, trying hard not to laugh. "You see I waspaying so much attention to the scansion. I find that you have alteredthe refrain in the Envoy. Surely that's not correct, is it?"

"Oh, you are a great deal too particular, " remarked the Rhymestercrossly. "Why, I should think from the Doctor-in-Law's description ofa critic that you must be one. "

"What did he say a critic was?" I asked. 

"Why, he said a critic was a person who found fault with another, fornot doing what he was unable to do himself. And he charged mefourpence three-farthings for the information, and as I only hadfourpence halfpenny I have to pay him the odd farthing when I sellsome of my poems. Can you tell me how I can set to work about it?"

"Well, I hardly know, " I replied, "unless you send them to the editorsof the various magazines. They may take them, but you must not bedisappointed if some of them are rejected. You see they cannotpossibly print everything that is sent to them. "

There were several magazines in the study, and I suggested that theRhymester should make a list of the addresses of the various editors, and he was busy about that till luncheon time. 

At half-past two the carriage came to the door, and goodness onlyknows what General Mary Jane must have told the livery stable peopleabout the Wallypug, for, evidently anxious to send an equipage worthyof royalty, they had painted an enormous monogram in gold on the sidesof the carriage, while the coachman was resplendent in blue plush andgold lace, with silk stockings and a powdered wig. 

 [Illustration: "EQUIPAGEOUS GRANDIOSITY"]

The Wallypug was delighted when he saw this elaborate turn-out, andso were the others, for I overheard One-and-Nine murmuring somethingabout "equipageous grandiosity, " as he climbed up to the seat besidethe coachman. When the Wallypug, the Doctor-in-Law, A. Fish, Esq. , and the Rhymester, were seated, there was no room left for the boyand myself, so we followed behind in a modest dog-cart, which washurriedly procured from the livery stable. Many were the wonderingglances bestowed upon the carriage, with its somewhat remarkableburden, as we drove along through Kensington to the Gardens. Andeverywhere our appearance was hailed with enthusiasm, people beingevidently under the impression that the Wallypug was one of the royalguests invited to the Jubilee festivities. Who could he be? That wasdecidedly the question which everyone was asking, and I could notquite determine who was causing the greater sensation, the Wallypug orA. Fish, Esq. These two individuals, however, comported themselveswith the calmest dignity, only the Doctor-in-Law seemed flurried bythe attention which they attracted, and smiled and bowed right andleft, whether the people took any notice of him or not. 

As we approached Hyde-Park corner attention was diverted from theWallypug's carriage by the fact that _another_ royal equipage hadentered the Park gates; and as the Princess passed us, an amusedglance and a whispered conversation with the other occupant of thecarriage showed that the Wallypug's extraordinary party had notescaped Her Royal Highness's attention. 

After going once round the Park we went out at the Marble Arch andalong Oxford Street to Holborn, our progress through the crowdedstreets everywhere attracting the most excited interest. And whenwe stopped before one of the large bicycle _depôts_ in Holborn thecrowd around the carriage was so large that the policeman had quite adifficulty in preventing a block in the traffic. Our business was soontransacted, and, having secured an excellent machine for the boy inplace of the one which his Majesty had damaged in the morning, wedrove back to Kensington without further adventure. 

The Wallypug's curiosity, however, was so awakened by what he had seenthat, as soon as we had been refreshed by a cup of afternoon tea, hesuggested that we should go out for a walk; accordingly the wholeparty proceeded to Kensington Gardens, followed by a curious andsomewhat derisive crowd of small boys, who would insist upon advisingthe Wallypug to "get his hair cut. " Now, I happened to know, from whatGirlie had told me about her adventures in Why, that the Wallypug, though a kind of king, had to do as his people directed and not as heliked, and that when he had presented a petition in Parliament to beallowed to have his hair cut, they had divided upon the subject, andso he had only been allowed to have _half_ of it cut, and as the longhalf had by this time grown very long indeed, he certainly did lookrather remarkable; that was no excuse though for the street boys'rudeness, and his Majesty very wisely took no notice of them. A. Fish, Esq. , came in for the greatest amount of attention, and when a fewdrops of rain began to fall, and he put up an umbrella for fear thathe should get wet, the crowd became so excited that the Doctor-in-Lawwisely suggested that a return should be made. His Majesty, however, was bent upon sight-seeing, and so the party separated, theDoctor-in-Law, A. Fish, Esq. , and One-and-Nine going home, while therest of us continued our walk. When we reached the Gardens, theWallypug was greatly interested in seeing the palace where the Queenwas born, and said that he should certainly petition his Parliament toallow him to have soldiers walk up and down before the gates of hispalace, like those which he saw here. He admired greatly PrincessLouise's statue of the Queen, which stands in front of the palace, and said he couldn't imagine where-ever they could have got all thewhite sugar from to make it with, and I think that he was inclined todisbelieve me when I told him that it was not made of sugar at all, but of white marble; for he said that if that were the case hecouldn't think why they wanted to put such high railings around it, asno one would wish to carry away a marble statue of that size, whereas, if it were sugar, as he suggested, why, of course, the railings werethere to prevent the children from climbing up and breaking off littlepieces to eat. 

 [Illustration: FOR FEAR HE SHOULD GET WET]

The Round Pond and the little model ships interested His Majesty mostof all though, I fancy, and he spent quite a long time admiring them, until, while assisting a small boy to get his ship ashore, he had themisfortune to slip into the water himself, and had to be fished outwith the assistance of a boathook. 

His Majesty certainly did not look either dignified or regal as hestood on the bank saturated with water, and his royal robes clingingabout him in the most woe-begone manner--and as the crowd had greatlyincreased, I was very glad to get the poor Wallypug into a cab anddrive home. 

[Illustration: HIS MAJESTY HAS AN ACCIDENT]

On our way there, the Rhymester, being very much afraid of getting hisclothes wet, sat in the furthest corner of the cab and amused himselfby writing a verse on the subject of his Majesty's misfortune, whichread somehow like this:

 "King George I've heard is King of Greece, But since this luckless slipping, The Wallypug I do declare Should be the King of _Dripping_. "

I think his Majesty thought it rather unkind of the Rhymester to makefun of him in this way, but before he had time to think much aboutthe matter, we had arrived at our destination, and to my greatsurprise I could see a vast crowd collected at the doors of thebuilding in which my flat is situated. 

CHAPTER III

SUNDRY SMALL HAPPENINGS

Whatever could it all mean? The Doctor-in-Law stood on the steps, calling out, "Walk up, walk up, ladies and gentlemen, and see theTalking Fish, " while large posters were pasted on the walls, bearingthe words, "Admission Sixpence" and "One day only. "

The Commissionaire who usually stands at the door was looking verysurprised and angry, while the page boy was grinning all over hisface. Whatever was happening? I hastily paid the cabman, and followedby the Wallypug made my way through the crowd to the entrance. 

"Admission sixpence each, " said the Doctor-in-Law, holding out hishand. 

 [Illustration: "WALK UP, WALK UP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN"]

"What do you mean?" I replied, "and what is all this crowd doinghere?"

"Admission sixpence each!" repeated the Doctor-in-Law stubbornly, nottaking the least notice of my questions, and holding his wand acrossthe doorway so that I could not get in. 

"Nonsense!" I cried; "I'm not going to pay to go into my own house. "

"Pay for the Wallypug then and I'll let you in free, " said the littleman insinuatingly. 

"I shall do nothing of the sort, " I cried, pushing past him andhurrying up the stairs. 

To my surprise I found my rooms occupied by strangers. SergeantOne-and-Nine was reciting some of the Rhymester's poems in the diningroom to three deaf old ladies, two of whom had ear trumpets, while A. Fish, Esq. , was holding a kind of _levée_ in my study, seated in achair placed on the writing table, and was surrounded by an admiringcrowd of people who were asking all sorts of questions. 

Mrs. Putchy met me at the door. 

"Oh, sir!" she exclaimed. "I'm so glad you've come home. I haven'tknown what to do with all these people. "

"But what does it all mean, Putchy?" I inquired. "What are they doinghere at all?"

"Why, you see, sir!" said Mrs. Putchy, "Mr. Doctor-in-Law found thatA. Fish, Esq. , was attracting a good deal of attention out of doors, and he thought that it would be a capital idea to have a kind of showhere and charge sixpence admission to see him; and if there's beenone, I'm sure there's been a hundred people up here this afternoon. The remarks they've been making too, and the questions they've beenasking. Why, one old lady, sir, wanted to know how much you paid A. Fish, Esq. , a week, and if I was _quite_ sure that you gave him enoughto eat. They've broken three chairs too, and that little Venetianglass vase that stood on the bracket in the corner. And just now Icaught some little boys tearing pictures out of one of thoseillustrated books you brought home last week. "

Here was a pretty state of affairs. The strangers had by this timeleft A. Fish, Esq. , and had collected around the poor Wallypug, whohad been waiting in his wet clothing in the hall, and I was obligedto politely but firmly insist upon them at once leaving the house, telling them that their money would be returned at the door. 

"I should think so, indeed, " said one angry-looking stout lady. "Why, the whole thing is a fraud and you ought to be thoroughly ashamed ofyourself. Talking fish indeed! I don't believe he's a fish at all--atany rate, not what I call a 'fish, '" and she flounced down the stairsonly to return a moment or two afterwards to say, "I thought you saidthat we were to have our money back. "

"So you are, madam, " I replied. 

"Well, why don't you see that we get it then? That man downstairsrefuses to give me any money. The whole thing is a swindle. But Idon't mean to be defrauded in this way, I can tell you. "

I went downstairs and told the Doctor-in-Law that he must at oncereturn everyone their money, and this after a great deal of grumblinghe did, while the Commissionaire and the page boy tore down theposters outside the door at my request. 

I explained to the Doctor-in-Law that this sort of thing must notoccur again, and made him promise that he would never again use myrooms as a place in which to hold a show. 

I really felt rather annoyed about it, for I could not imaginewhatever the neighbours would think of me for permitting such a sceneto take place in my rooms, but it evidently was useless now to sayanything more about it. 

The next morning, despite the wetting which the Wallypug had receivedat the Round Pond, his thoughts still ran upon boating, and nothingwould satisfy his Majesty but that he should go for a row. I suggestedRichmond as the best place to start from, and so we drove overHammersmith Bridge and across Barnes Common. 

Arrived at Richmond we had no difficulty in securing a nice boat. 

"I'll row for one, " said his Majesty. 

"And I for another, " said the Rhymester. 

"Very well then, " I replied. "Perhaps the Doctor-in-Law will steer, and so we will manage very nicely. "

Quite a large crowd had collected to see us start, and perhaps that iswhat made the Wallypug so nervous; as it was, as soon as we pushedoff, his Majesty fell backwards with his feet sticking up above theseat, while the Rhymester stuck one oar deep down into the water andpulled it with all his might, while the other flourished about in theair. 

 [Illustration: HIS MAJESTY FELL BACKWARDS]

The Doctor-in-Law's idea of steering consisted in pulling first onestring and then the other, and so we did not get along very well justat first. 

When the Wallypug had picked himself up from the bottom of the boat, however, and the Rhymester and he made another attempt, I think weshould have got along fairly well if the Doctor-in-Law, in tryingto get out of the way of a passing boat, had not steered us into thebank, where we stuck fast in the mud till someone on the footpath verykindly pushed us off again. After that I thought it best to take theoars myself, and his Majesty steered under my direction. In this waywe managed to get a little way past Teddington Lock by luncheon time, and having found an _eyot_ with no one on it we went ashore andunpacked the hamper of good things which we had brought with us. 

It was a beautiful day, and I think that we all enjoyed the picnicimmensely. I know that I did for one, and so, I think, did hisMajesty, for after the meal he laid aside his crown and royal robesand made himself comfortable on the grass under the trees, and lookedthoroughly happy with a big cigar in his mouth. 

 [Illustration: HIS MAJESTY ENJOYS HIMSELF]

A. Fish, Esq. , busied himself in preparing notes for his lecture onthe "Perhapness of the Improbable, " and the Doctor-in-Law, havingpiled all the cushions in the boat at one end, threw himself upon themand read the newspaper. 

In this way the afternoon passed very comfortably, and the Rhymester, after scribbling upon several pieces of paper, came and read to me apoem which had been inspired by our beautiful surroundings; he calledit

SOUL YEARNINGS. 

 The water's as wet as wet can be, And the trees, and the grass, are green, While the little birds sing and the fishes swim; 'Tis a most delightful scene. 

 It makes me yearn for I don't know what, To come from I don't know where, And take me away to the thingummybob And the what-you-may-call-'ems there;

and he told me that beautiful scenery always affected him in that way. 

 [Illustration: AN UNFORTUNATE VOLLEY]

It was now time for us to be thinking about getting back, especiallyas I should have to do all of the rowing. So we got into the boatagain, and I rowed back as far as Twickenham, where we stopped atEel-pie Island to have some tea. While we were waiting for it to beprepared, we began a game of tennis, but were obliged to leave off, asan unfortunate volley of the Doctor-in-Law's caught the Wallypug onthe nose, and so his Majesty declined to play any more. 

We persuaded him to join us at cricket, though, having found somestumps and a bat and ball in an outhouse on the Island, and got onvery well for some time till, at a shout of "out, leg before wicket, "the Wallypug (who had caught the ball very nicely on his shin) fellforward on to the Doctor-in-Law, crushing his hat well over his eyes, and ruffling his temper considerably. 

 [Illustration: "OUT"]

In fact, I was very glad that tea was announced just then, for Ifeared that there was going to be a bother, and, as it was, theDoctor-in-Law kept scowling at his Majesty very fiercely. 

"I shall make him pay for it, " declared the little man, and, duringtea, which we had at wicker tables by the river's edge, he was busymaking out an account, which later he handed with great solemnity tothe Wallypug. His Majesty apparently could not understand it, andpassed it on to me. On examination, I found it to be worded asfollows:

 HIS MAJESTY THE WALLYPUG OF WHY, In account with THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW. 

 To damage of one hat, £0 7 6 " Physical injury, 0 2 0 " Moral deterioration, 15 6 9 --------- £22 17 8 " 3 per cent. Discount for cash, 3 6 2 --------- £26 4 11

"What do you mean by moral deterioration?" demanded the Wallypug. 

"Oh, I don't know. Same as other people do, I suppose, " said theDoctor-in-Law. "It's always charged now, I believe. I read somethingabout it in the papers this afternoon. "

"But the addition is all wrong, " I expostulated. 

"No, it isn't, " replied the Doctor-in-Law, rudely snatching thedocument from me and putting it into his pocket-book, "and if itis, it's nothing to do with you. I shall charge it in our expenses, which the people of Why have undertaken to pay, so there. " And theavaricious little fellow ran off to the boat, which we afterwardsfound he had been letting out on hire to small boys at a penny ahead. 

The return journey was accomplished without any remarkable incidents, and on reaching home I found a very pressing invitation from Girlie'smother for the whole party to attend her "At Home" the next day. 

It appears that this lady had called upon me while we were out, andMrs. Putchy had told her of the Wallypug's arrival. 

His Majesty was good enough to say that he should be delighted toaccept, and so I wrote off at once to say that she might expect us. 

CHAPTER IV

LOST

We had a terrible fright the next morning, for the poor dear Wallypuggot lost, and for some time we could not imagine what had become ofhim. 

It happened in this way: directly after breakfast his Majesty saidthat he should like to go for a walk and look at the shops. 

"I'm not going, " declared the Doctor-in-Law. "I have some _very_important letters to write. "

We all looked up in surprise, for we did not know that theDoctor-in-Law had any other acquaintances in London. 

"Letters from which I hope to derive a princely income, " continuedthe little man grandly; "and, therefore, I have no time for suchfoolishness as looking into shop windows. "

"He's afraid thad he bight have to sped sub buddy, " remarkedA. Fish, Esq. 

"Nothing of the sort, " replied the Doctor-in-Law, turning very redthough. 

"Well, don't waste time talking about it; let's go if we are going, "said the Rhymester; and so, as I also had some correspondence toattend to, it was arranged that the Wallypug, the Rhymester, and A. Fish, Esq. , should go for a little stroll by themselves. I had somedoubts in my own mind as to the advisability of letting them go alone, but they promised not to go beyond Kensington Gardens, and to wait forme there just inside the gates. 

After they had gone I settled down to my letter-writing, and wasgetting along nicely when the Doctor-in-Law interrupted me with:

"I say, I wish you would let me have about twenty sheets ofnote-paper, will you, please?"

"Twenty!" I exclaimed in surprise. 

"Yes, twenty, " said the Doctor-in-Law. "Or you had better make ita quire while you are about it. "

I thought the quickest way to get rid of him was to give him thepaper, so I got up and got it for him. 

"And a packet of envelopes, please, " he said, as I handed it to him. 

"Anything else?" I asked rather sarcastically. 

"Stamps!" he replied, calmly holding out his hand. 

"Well, really--" I expostulated. 

"Oh, halfpenny ones will do. You're surely not so mean as to mindtenpence, are you?"

"I don't think I'm mean, but--"

"Hand them over then, and don't waste so much time talking, " said thelittle man impatiently, and so, just to get rid of him, I gave him thestamps and sat down to my letters again. 

I had hardly begun when he came back. 

"Don't you take any other newspapers than these?" he demanded, showingme a handful. 

"No, I don't, and I think it's rather extravagant of me to havethose, " I replied. 

"Well, then, how do you suppose that I am going to manage? I want atleast five other papers, and it's _most_ important that I should havethem. "

"You might buy them, " I suggested. 

"They are so dear, " he grumbled. 

"Well, why don't you go to the Public Library then?" I suggested. "Youknow where it is, and you could see all of the papers there, youknow. "

"Ah, a capital idea, " he said, putting on his hat and going out. 

"Now, " I thought, "I shall have peace at last. "

I was not left undisturbed long though, for a few minutes later Mrs. Putchy came to the door. 

"Oh, please, sir, will you go down? Mr. Doctor-in-Law is having such abother with the postman. "

I hurried out, and found the little man very angry indeed. 

"This postman won't give me a letter, " he cried when he saw me. 

"Perhaps he hasn't one for you, " I answered. 

"But I saw him giving them away all down the street for nothing, "persisted the Doctor-in-Law. "And when I asked him in a civil way forone, he refused to give it to me. It's no use for him to say he hasn'tone, when he has a whole packet in his hand now, and a lot more inhis bag, no doubt. Are you going to give me a letter or not?" hecontinued, turning to the postman. 

 [Illustration: "ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME A LETTER OR NOT?"]

"No, sir, " continued the man, smiling. "I haven't any for you. "

"Very well, then, " said the Doctor-in-Law decidedly, "I shallcertainly write to the Queen and tell her that if she employs you anylonger I shall take all my custom away, and I shall not send thetwenty letters, that I intended writing to-day, off at all. "

I endeavoured to explain to the little man that the postman could notpossibly give him a letter if he had not one addressed to him. 

"Oh, that's all nonsense, " he exclaimed, going off in a huff. "Ofcourse you would take his part. "

Before I could settle down to work again the Rhymester and A. Fish, Esq. , returned. 

"Where's the Wallypug?" I demanded. 

"Oh, he's coming by the next 'bus, " said the Rhymester. "Haven't youhad any rain here?"

"No, " I replied. 

"Oh, we had quidt a sharb shower, " said A. Fish, Esq. , "ad I wasafraid of gettig wet, so we stopped a 'bus--there was odly roob fortwo though, ad the Wallypug said thad he would cub od by the dext. "

"I hope he will get home all right, " I said anxiously. "I don't thinkyou ought to have left his Majesty by himself. "

"Oh! it's only a little way, " said the Rhymester; "he's sure to gethome all right. "

 [Illustration: "SO WE STOPPED A 'BUS"]

An hour passed and there was no signs of the Wallypug. I now beganto get seriously anxious. 

It would, of course, be the easiest thing in the world for his Majestyto take the wrong 'bus, and be taken goodness knows where. 

I couldn't think what was best to be done. The Rhymester suggestedsending the Crier out, but I never remembered having seen one atKensington, and at last, after searching for some time ourselves inKensington Gardens, and making inquiries in High Street, and failingto glean any tidings of his Majesty, I thought it best to go to thePolice Station. 

Here I found a very important-looking official in uniform, with a bigbook in front of him. 

"What is it?" he inquired, glaring at me fiercely. 

"I've called to know if you could assist me in finding a friend who, Ifear, has lost his way, " I replied. 

The official did not answer me, but reached down another large book. 

"What's his name?" he inquired gruffly. 

"His name? Oh--er--his name is--er--that is to say he is the--" I hadnot the least idea what the Wallypug's name really was, so I couldn'tvery well say. 

"What's his name?" shouted the official. "I'll ask you what he _is_presently. "

"Well, I'm very sorry, but I really do not know his name. "

The man glanced at me very suspiciously. 

"You said he was a friend of yours--it's a very odd thing that youdon't know his name. What is he?"

"He's a--a--Wallypug, " I stammered. "That is to say he--er--"

"Wallypug!" exclaimed the man contemptuously. "What's that?"

"Why, it's a kind of king, you know, " I explained, feeling that theexplanation was rather a lame one. 

"A _kind_ of king!" exclaimed the police officer. "Explain yourself. "

"Well, I'm afraid I can't explain more clearly than that, " I replied. "This gentleman has been staying with me for a couple of days, andwent out this morning and lost his way. "

"Where did he come from?" asked the man. 

"Why, " I answered. 

"Why? Because I want to know, " he shouted. "Don't let me have anyfurther prevarication. Where did the man, or Wallypug, or whatever youcall him, come from?"

"From Why. From a place called Why, you know, " I repeated. 

"I _don't_ know, " said the officer. "I've never heard of such a place. Where is it?"

"Well, really, " I said, "I'm very sorry, but I cannot tell you. Idon't know myself. "

"This is _very_ remarkable, " said the man, glaring at me through hisglasses. "You don't know your friend's name; you call him a Wallypug, and can't explain what that is, you don't know where he comesfrom--perhaps you can tell me how he reached your house?"

I was now really in a fix, for how could I tell this man that hisMajesty had stepped out of a picture. 

I thought the best thing to do was to hold my tongue. 

"How did he come?" repeated the officer. "By train?"

I shook my head. 

"By steamer?"

I shook my head again. 

"Did he drive?--or come on a bicycle, or walk?"

I remained silent. 

The police officer stared at me for a moment or two, waiting for myanswer. 

"Look here, young man, " said he at last, evidently very angry indeed. "It strikes me that you are having a game with me. You had better goaway quietly or I shall be obliged to take you in charge as alunatic. "

"But I assure you that--"

"How was your friend dressed?"

"Oh, he wore a somewhat battered gold crown, and carried an orb andsceptre, and was dressed in knee breeches and a velvet cloak with anermine collar. "

The man gave me a keen glance and then rang a bell. A policemanappeared a moment or two afterwards, and the officer whisperedsomething to him, of which I only caught the words, "harmlesslunatic. "

"Lunatic, sir; yes, sir. Step this way, please, " said the policeman, and before I could realize what had happened I was bundled into asmall bare room, and the key was turned in the lock and I was aprisoner. 

Here was a pretty state of affairs. The stupid people had mistaken mefor a lunatic, and I was no doubt to be locked up here till a doctorarrived. 

Of course the only thing for me to do was to sit still and wait aspatiently as I could. Fortunately the police people thought oftelegraphing to the other stations to find out if anything was knownof an escaped lunatic; and from Fulham came the reply, "We have foundone ourselves. He calls himself a Wallypug, and is dressed like asecond-hand king. " This caused inquiries to be made, and eventually Iwas taken in a cab to Fulham, where we found his Majesty in the chargeof the police, he having been found wandering about the Fulham Roadquite unable to give what they considered a satisfactory account ofhimself. 

It was most unfortunate that his Majesty should have taken the wrong'bus, for, not having any money with him, he was set down in a totallystrange neighbourhood, and had quite forgotten my address. Of course, now that we had been brought face to face, we had no difficulty inconvincing the police people that we were what we representedourselves to be, and were soon, to our great relief, on our wayhome again. 

"I don't think that I should like to be a policeman, " remarked theWallypug, on our way there. 

"No?" I answered. "Why not?"

"They have to catch dogs for a living?" remarked his Majesty solemnly. "There were several brought in while I was waiting, and the policemanwho had caught them seemed so pleased about it. "

I explained to the Wallypug as well as I was able about the muzzlingorder, and his Majesty was highly indignant, and when I pointed outseveral dogs with muzzles on he was more indignant still. 

"And are they always obliged to wear those horrible wire cages overtheir heads?" he inquired. 

I told his Majesty that in London the order for wearing them had beenin force for some considerable time, and we had a long talk over thematter, his Majesty declaring that he should try and invent a newmuzzle which should be more comfortable for the poor dogs. 

 [Illustration: UNABLE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF]

"Oh, here we are at last, " he exclaimed, as we turned the corner nearmy house. "And there are the others on the steps!"

"Here they are! Here they are!" shouted the Rhymester to the others, and everyone rushed forward to assist his Majesty to alight, seeminglyvery glad to see us back again. 

We were quite as delighted to get back, I can tell you, and I was sorelieved at having found the Wallypug that I hadn't the heart torefuse the Doctor-in-Law's request that I would give him ten shillingsworth of penny stamps to put into the letters which he had beenwriting while we had been away, although he would not give me theslightest clue as to what they were wanted for. 

CHAPTER V

AN 'AT HOME' AND THE ACADEMY

We were quite ready for luncheon, as you may imagine, after ourmorning's adventures, and directly afterwards his Majesty set to workon the new dog's muzzle which he had promised to invent. In about halfan hour he had constructed one with which he was intensely delighted, and he persuaded A. Fish, Esq. , to try it on that we might see theeffect. 

It certainly was very simple, but as there was nothing whatever to goover the mouth, I felt sure that it could not possibly be very useful. I did not like to tell his Majesty so though, for he seemed sothoroughly proud of his achievement. 

It was now time to go to the 'At Home, ' so, wishing to do honour tothe occasion, our 'State Coach, ' as we called it, was sent for, andwe drove off in fine style. 

There were a great many people invited to meet us, and I could seethat there was quite a little flutter of excitement when the Wallypugentered. 

 [Illustration: IT CERTAINLY WAS VERY SIMPLE]

His Majesty, however, in his simple, good-natured way soon puteverybody at their ease, and laughed and chattered with the utmostaffability. 

Girlie and Boy had both been allowed to come into the drawing-room, and Girlie quite claimed the Wallypug as her own particular guest, while Boy renewed his acquaintance with the Rhymester, whom he had metbefore at Zum, and despite their mother's protests they carried thesetwo members of our party off in triumph to show them their play-roomand toys and to talk over old times. 

While they were away the Doctor-in-Law made himself very agreeable tothe ladies, and I watched him bowing and smiling and chatting, firstwith one group, then with another, with great amusement. I found outafterwards that he had promised several of them portraits of hisMajesty and suite for 2s. 6d. Each as soon as they should be taken, and in every case had asked for the money in advance; but the greatevent of the afternoon was when A. Fish, Esq. , wrapped up in Mrs. Putchy's pink woollen shawl, borrowed for the occasion, and surroundedby a group of young ladies, consented after much pressing to deliverpart of his lecture on the "Perhapness of the Improbable. "

"You bust sed for the Rhymebster though to help be to read id, for bycold is still so bad thad I can'd do id by byself, " he explained. 

 [Illustration: A. FISH, ESQ. , OBLIGES]

So the Rhymester was sent for, and his Majesty also came down to hearthe wonderful lecture. It had been turned into verse by the Rhymester, who, after an affected attempt to clear his throat, read as follows:

THE PERHAPNESS OF THE IMPROBABLE. 

 If _this_ were that, and _these_ were those, And _hither_ nearer thither, Why, _which_ might be whate'er it chose, And _there_ be any whither. 

 Somehow 'twould be the simpler way To _dearer_ be than cheaper, And that's why _when_ (each other day) Would _higher_ be than _deeper_. 

 So _worst_ would be the _best_ of all, And _far more less_ than either; While _short_ would certainly be _tall_, And therefore thus be neither. 

 [Illustration: ABSENT-MINDEDLY SPILT HIS TEA]

"Beautiful! charming!" echoed all the young ladies at once when hehad finished, while one lady sitting near me exclaimed, "How sweetlysimple!" For my own part I thought that it was anything but simple, and caught myself trying to follow the line of argument with the mostbrain-confusing results. 

The Wallypug was greatly distressed when he discovered that whilelistening to the reading, and looking at the charming young lady withwhom he had been conversing, he had absent-mindedly spilt the whole ofhis cup of tea over her dress. 

"You see, they didn't give me a plate to put my cake on, " I heard himexplain apologetically, "and it _was_ so awkward, for my cup wouldkeep slipping about on the saucer. "

The young lady smiled very sweetly and assured his Majesty that itdidn't matter in the least, and shortly afterwards we left, havingstayed, as it was, far beyond the regulation time. 

When we arrived home we found a letter addressed to the Rhymester inthe letter-box, which in a state of great excitement he tore open withtrembling fingers. 

Upon reading the contents he burst into tears. 

"Poor man, poor man!" he sobbed. "I am so sorry to have caused him somuch trouble. "

"It is a letter from an Editor, " he explained through his tears, "andhe is in great distress through not being able to publish my poem. Hesays he greatly regrets his inability to make use of it! Poor man, heevidently feels it very keenly. I must write and tell him not to betoo unhappy about it. "

I had some letters to write too, one to a photographer in RegentStreet, asking for an appointment the next morning, for I wasdetermined that the Doctor-in-Law should send the promised photographsto the young ladies without delay. 

The first thing in the morning came a telegram to say that we couldbe photographed at eleven o'clock, so, after my guests had madethemselves as spruce as possible, we started off and reached there ingood time. 

It was suggested that the Wallypug should be taken by himself, butwhen he saw the camera pointed directly at him while the operatordisappeared beneath the black cloth, he came to the conclusion that itwas too dangerous a machine to be faced with impunity, so he suddenlyturned his back upon it, and nervously fled from the room. 

It was only by promising that the others should be taken with him thatwe could get him to sit at all, and even then there was a strainedand nervous expression upon his face, which suggested that he was inmomentary fear that the thing would "go off. "

The Rhymester insisted upon being taken with one of his poems in hishand, the Doctor-in-Law wore his usual complacent smile, andaltogether the group was quite a success. 

As soon as the "operation, " as the Wallypug would insist upon callingit, was over, we went downstairs, his Majesty leading the way, whilethe Doctor-in-Law stayed behind for a moment to make some arrangementswith the photographer about commission. We had intended going home by'bus, but when we got to the door his Majesty was nowhere to be seen. What could have become of him? We looked up and down the street, butcould see no signs of him anywhere; and at last, after hunting aboutfor a considerable time, he was discovered calmly sitting inside afurniture removal van, waiting for it to start, under the impressionthat it was an omnibus. 

"I'm sure this is the right one, " he explained, "for it has'Kensington' printed in large letters on it. Come along, there'splenty of room inside; the conductor and the driver will be herepresently, I suppose. "

I laughingly explained to his Majesty the mistake which he had made, and we walked on as far as Piccadilly Circus, where we found a 'bus totake us to the Academy, which we intended visiting on our way home. Wehad not gone far though, when I suddenly remembered that the 22nd Junewas very close at hand, and that I had better make arrangements forseats to view the Jubilee Procession or I should be too late. So itwas arranged that the Doctor-in-Law should take charge of the partywhile I went on to the agents to see about the seats. They would haveno difficulty in getting home by themselves for the 'buses ran fromjust outside the Academy doors straight to Kensington, so I felt surethat they would be all right. 

"How much is the entrance fee to the Academy?" asked theDoctor-in-Law, as I was getting down from the 'bus. 

"A shilling each, " I replied, and I saw the little man collecting themoney from the others as the 'bus disappeared from view. 

 [Illustration: WAITING FOR IT TO START]

I was very fortunate at the agents in being able to secure acapital window in Piccadilly, and some Stores in the neighbourhoodundertook to provide a luncheon and to suitably decorate the windowfor us. 

These arrangements being satisfactorily concluded, I hurried home, andwas greatly relieved to find my guests there before me. 

"How did you enjoy the Academy?" I inquired. 

 [Illustration: COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE CATALOGUE]

"Not at all!" said his Majesty decidedly. 

"Waste of money, I call it, " said the Rhymester, sniffingcontemptuously. 

"I was dever so disappointed id edythig id all by life!" declared A. Fish, Esq. 

"Besides, the catalogue was no good at all, " complained his Majesty. "We could make neither head nor tail of it. "

The Doctor-in-Law was silent, and it was only by very careful inquirythat I found out that, after pocketing their money, he had taken themto an immense hoarding covered with advertisement posters, and hadgammoned them into believing that _that_ was the Academy, while it wasno wonder that the poor Wallypug could not understand the 'catalogue, 'for it was nothing more nor less than an old illustrated stores pricelist. 

It was really too bad of the Doctor-in-Law. 

CHAPTER VI

THE JUBILEE

The few days which elapsed before the memorable 22nd of June passedvery quickly, and we were all more or less busy making preparationsfor the festival. His Majesty would insist upon polishing up hisregalia himself in order to do honour to the occasion, and spent hoursover his crown with a piece of chamois leather and some whiteningtill, though somewhat battered by the rough usage it had sustained, itshone quite brilliantly. Mrs. Putchy herself suggested making hisMajesty some new red silk rosettes for his shoes, which he verygraciously consented to accept. The Doctor-in-Law was always so spickand span that we scarcely noticed any change in his appearance, butthe Rhymester had made arrangements with General Mary Jane to wash, starch, and iron his lace collar, and he remained in his room oneentire day while it was being done up. A. Fish, Esq. , purchased anecktie of most brilliant colouring, and One-and-Nine touched himselfup here and there with some red enamel where his tunic had becomeshabby in places, so that altogether our party looked very smart as wedrove at a very early hour to our seats in Piccadilly. To avoid thecrowd we went by way of Bayswater Road, and then passed down Park Laneand through Berkeley Square, in order to reach the back entrance tothe house in Piccadilly where I had booked seats. Our gorgeouscarriage was everywhere hailed with great delight, being of coursemistaken for a portion of the Jubilee procession, and many were theconjectures heard on all sides as to who the Wallypug could possiblybe. 

 [Illustration: WITH SOME RED ENAMEL]

Our window was in the centre of the building on the first floor, andwe had it all to ourselves. A table at the back of the room wastastefully set out with an excellent cold collation, and in front ofthe window, which was most elaborately decorated with velvet curtains, flags, and trophies, and which was surmounted by a device which wasunderstood to be the Wallypug's coat-of-arms, a gorgeous, gilded, high-backed chair was placed as a throne for his Majesty, andcomfortable seats were also provided for the rest of the party. 

The crowd outside greeted our appearance with quite a demonstration, as by the enormous placard outside announcing the name of thedecorators, and stating that they were by appointment to his Majestythe Wallypug of Why, of course everybody knew who we were. Indeed, onelearned-looking person in the crowd was holding forth to an eageraudience, and explaining exactly where Why was situated, andpretending that he had been there, and had seen the Wallypug before, ever so many times. 

As the time approached for the procession to pass, the Wallypug becamevery excited and nervous. "Shall I really see the Queen of England?"he kept asking over and over again. "Do you think she will see me?Will she bow to me? What must I say? Must I keep my crown on or takeit off?" and innumerable other questions of the same nature. 

Presently the excitement and enthusiasm reached their height, as amida confused shouting of "Here they are, " the Guards in advance came insight. Slowly the mighty procession, with its innumerable squadronsand bands passed, and at last, after the English and Foreign princesand Eastern potentates, the eight cream-coloured Hanoverian horses, drawing the Jubilee landau, made their appearance, and the Queen wasseen, smiling and bowing graciously to the cheering populace. TheDoctor-in-Law, in his excitement, scrambled on to the window ledge inorder to obtain a better view; the Wallypug loyally waved his crown;while the Rhymester, hurriedly unrolling a lengthy ode which he hadwritten especially for the occasion, began reading it in a loud voice, and, though nobody paid the slightest attention to him, did not desistuntil long after the procession had passed. 

 [Illustration: THE WALLYPUG LOYALLY WAVED HIS CROWN]

The Wallypug was very thoughtful for some time after the Queen hadgone by, and, during the drive home, expressed his great surprisethat her Majesty had not worn a crown, and apparently could notunderstand why it should not be worn on all occasions. 

"I suppose her Majesty has a crown of her own, hasn't she?" he askedanxiously. 

"Oh yes, of course!" I replied. 

"Where is it then?" persisted his Majesty. 

"I believe all of the regalia is kept carefully locked up and guardedin the Tower of London, " I said. 

"Well, I think it's very unkind of them not to let her Majesty havethem out on an occasion like this. I shall see what I can do aboutit. "

The dear Wallypug's intentions were evidently so good that I did notsay anything in reply to this, though I wondered to myself whateverhis Majesty thought that _he_ could do in the matter. 

There were so many people about that we considered it best to spendthe rest of the day quietly at home, though we did venture out in theevening to see the illuminations, which delighted his Majestyexceedingly. 

The next afternoon the whole party, with the exception ofOne-and-Nine, drove over the route taken by the procession, in orderto see the street decorations. I remained at home, and late in theafternoon there was a knock at my door, and General Mary Jane entered. She was nervously wringing a handkerchief wet with tears, and her eyeswere quite red with weeping. 

"Please, sir, " she began, sniffing pathetically, "I want togi--gi--give no--notice. "

"Why! what ever for?" I asked in surprise, for General Mary Jane wasan excellent servant, and Mrs. Putchy had always been very pleasedwith her. 

"Please, sir, it's Sergeant One-and-Nine; he's broken my 'art, sir, and I can't bear it no longer, " and the poor girl burst into a floodof tears. 

"Bless me!" I cried, "whatever do you mean?"

"Well, sir, you see ever since he's been 'ere, sir, he's been a makinghup to me; leastwise that's what I thought he meant, sir; but thisafternoon bein' my day hout, I went up to Kensington Gardens for awalk (him a saying as he would be there), and what should I see whenI gets there, but him a walkin' about with half-a-dozen of themnursemaids in white frocks a followin' of him. Not that I says as it'saltogether his fault; they will run after the military; but it's morethan I can stand, sir, me bein' that proud at 'avin' a soldier for asweetheart, and all, " and she began to cry again. 

 [Illustration: THEY WILL RUN AFTER THE MILITARY]

I hardly knew what to do, but suggested that she should not think tooseriously about it, and General Mary Jane, saying she hoped I wouldexcuse her troubling me in the matter, decided to go to her marriedsister at Barnes and spend the rest of her day out there, and talkthe matter over with her. I had a lot of writing to do all theafternoon, and the time passed so quickly that until the gong soundedfor dinner I did not realize that the Wallypug and his party had notreturned. It was now past seven, and they should have been home hourssince. 

I was so anxious about them that I could scarcely eat any dinner, andas soon as the meal was over I hurried to the livery stables to hearif they knew anything about the matter. 

The first person I encountered when I arrived there was the coachman, now divested of his fine livery, and busy in the yard. 

"Bless you, sir, yes, back hours ago, " said he. "I set his Majesty andthe others down at your door about five o'clock, and I did hear themsay something about going down to Hammersmith for a walk. "

"To Hammersmith?" I echoed in surprise. 

"Yes, sir--they wanted to see the Suspension Bridge and the riveragain, so I told them the way to get there. They're all right, sir, I'll be bound. The Doctor-in-Law is too wide awake for anything tohappen to them while he is with them. "

I walked home somewhat easier in my mind now that I knew the party hadreturned safely, though still somewhat anxious as to theirwhereabouts. 

About nine o'clock it began to get quite dark, and I was just settingout to see if I could find any trace of them when General Mary Janereturned. 

 [Illustration: "AND DONKEY RIDES"]

"Oh, sir!" she exclaimed directly she saw me, "what do you think? HisMajesty and the Doctor-in-Law and the others are down at the fair byHammersmith Bridge, and they are 'aving such a lark. I see them all'aving a roundabout as I was coming past on my way 'ome from mysister's just now; such a crowd there was a cheering and a hollering. Cocoa-nut shies, too, a boy told me they had been 'aving, and old AuntSally, and donkey rides along the towing path. "

 [Illustration: "THEY ARE 'AVING SUCH A LARK"]

I hurriedly put on my hat and rushed off to Hammersmith, for I didn'tknow what might happen to my guests among the rough crowd which I knewusually gathered there. 

When I arrived on the scene I found the whole party on the roundabout, and when they alighted I learned that the Doctor-in-Law had arrangedwith one of the show people to share the proceeds of exhibiting theWallypug and A. Fish, Esq. , in separate tents, at 3d. A head. 

I met with considerable opposition from the show people in myendeavours to persuade my guests to come home, as they had evidentlybeen a source of considerable profit to them, though the man with thecocoa-nut shies declared that the Doctor-in-Law had claimed a greatmany more nuts than he was properly entitled to. 

The crowd made quite a demonstration when we departed in afour-wheeler, and the Rhymester evidently considered it a complimentthat the contents of so many "ladies' tormentors, " as the little tubesfilled with water are called, were directed at him. Altogether thewhole party had evidently been delighted with their evening'samusement, though, as I explained to them while we were driving home, it was highly inconsistent with the dignity of his Majesty's position, and calculated to cause him to be treated with a certain amount ofdisrespect. I could see, however, that all I said had very littleeffect on any of the party, and that they were one and all highlydelighted with their adventure. 

CHAPTER VII

MORE ADVENTURES

"It's the most contraryish place I've ever seen, " declaredOne-and-Nine. 

"Yes, " agreed the Wallypug. "There was no water in the moat. "

"The Drawbridge didn't draw, " echoed the Rhymester. 

"Ad the beefeaters didn't eat beef, " chimed in A. Fish, Esq. , whilethe Doctor-in-Law declared that for his part he "considered themorning spent there had been entirely wasted. "

They were talking about the Tower of London, and were telling Girlieand Boy, who were spending the afternoon with us, all about theirvisit there on the previous day. 

I was sitting in an adjoining room--but the door being open I couldhear all that was said. 

"How did you go?" asked Boy. 

"Oh!" exclaimed the Wallypug, "in the most extraordinary way you canpossibly imagine. We went into a house in High Street, Kensington, andbought some little tickets, and then we handed them to a man at abarrier, who cut a little piece out of each one as we passed through. "

"To rebebber us by, " chimed in A. Fish, Esq. 

"Yes, " continued the Wallypug; "and then we went down two flights ofstairs, and by-and-bye a lot of little houses on wheels came rushinginto the station, and we got into one of them and before you could say'Jack Robinson' we were rushing through a big black tunnel under theground. "

"Why, you mean the Underground Railway, " declared Girlie. 

"Yes, " agreed his Majesty. "And the little room we sat in hadbeautiful soft cushions and a big light in the middle of the roof, andlittle texts printed on the wall--"

"Texts!" exclaimed both of the children. 

"Texts, " repeated the Wallypug. "What were they? Do you remember?" heasked of the others. 

"Oh, one was, 'You are requested not to put your feet on thecushions, '" said the Rhymester. 

"Oh, yes, and 'To seat five, ' and 'Wait till the train stops'--Iremember now, " continued the Wallypug. "Well, we kept rushing throughthe tunnel till we came to 'Holman's Mustard, ' and a lot of people gotout, and then we went on again till we came to 'Smears' Soap. '"

 [Illustration: "HOLMAN'S MUSTARD AGAIN"]

"It wasn't 'Smears' Soap, '" contradicted the Doctor-in-Law. "It wassomebody's Ink. "

"Well, there were such a lot of names, " declared the Wallypug, "it wasimpossible to really tell which was which. I always took the nameopposite to my window to be the right one. The funniest part of it allwas, we kept coming to 'Holman's Mustard' over and over again. I can'tthink how on earth the people know when to get out. "

"Why, those weren't the names of the stations at all, " laughed Boy. "They were advertisements!"

"Well, where were the names of the stations then?" demanded hisMajesty. 

"Why, in big letters on the walls of course, " was the reply. 

"They couldn't have been much bigger than those of 'Holman'sMustard, '" persisted the Wallypug somewhat ungrammatically. 

"Never mind about that; get on with your story, " remarked theDoctor-in-Law impatiently. 

"Well, after going through a lot of tunnels and stopping ever so manytimes, we got out at one of the stations and went upstairs into thelight again, and almost opposite the station we could see a lot ofgrey stone buildings with towers and battlements. "

"I know! You mean the Tower. We've been there, " interrupted Girlie. 

"Did you see the Lions?" asked the Wallypug eagerly. 

"Lions! No!" exclaimed the children. "There weren't any; you didn'tsee any, did you?"

"No, we didn't, " admitted the Wallypug, "but the Doctor-in-Law told usthat there were some there. "

"I read it in a book, " declared the Doctor-in-Law. "But I daresay itwas all a pack of stories, like the rest of the things they said. Lookat the Crown Jewels for instance--bits of glass and rubbish. That'swhy they put them in an iron cage, so you can't get at them to see ifthey are real. "

"Oh! I think they _are_ real, " said Boy. "The Guide told us that theywere worth ever so many thousands of pounds. "

"Yes, he may have _said_ so, " remarked the Doctor-in-Law, "but I'll bebound he wouldn't let you take them away and examine them foryourself. I asked them to let me have one or two of the crowns andthings to take home and test, but they positively refused, although Ipromised to return them within a week. They are afraid that we shouldfind out that they are only imitations--that's what's the matter. "

"There weren't any kings or queens executed either the day we werethere, " he continued, grumbling. 

"Well, I'm sure I'm very glad that _that_ fashion has died out, "declared his Majesty. "I don't mind admitting now that I was rathernervous about going at all, for fear that I should have _my_ headchopped off, and I should feel so very awkward without one, you know. "

"Pooh! You needn't have been alarmed, for there wasn't a Lord HighExecutioner on the premises, because I asked, " declared the Rhymester. 

"No, but do you know, " said his Majesty, "I've found out since, thathe lives at the bottom of our street, and mends shoes for a living--hedoes a little executing still on the sly, for I have seen his bill inthe window, 'Orders _executed_ with promptness and dispatch. ' I askedhim one day what class he executed most, and he said that hisconnection was principally amongst the 'Uppers. ' He seems a very kindman though, and not only executes orders, but heals them too, poorsouls! He charges 1s. 3d. For healing. His education has been sorelyneglected, I am afraid, however, for he spells it 'heeling. '"

"Did you see the Armoury at the Tower?" asked Boy. 

"Yes, and there was another instance of deception, " declared theDoctor-in-Law. 

"What do you mean?" asked Boy. 

"Well, what is an armoury?" inquired the Doctor-in-Law. 

"A place where arms are kept, I suppose, " replied Boy. 

"Just so, and there wasn't an arm in the place except our own, " saidthe Doctor-in-Law wrathfully. 

"Why, they call guns and things arms, " said Boy, laughing. 

"Oh! do they?" remarked the Doctor-in-Law sarcastically. "Why don'tthey call things by their proper names then? they might as well callthem legs, or turnips, or paraffin oil--bah! I've no patience withsuch folly!"

 [Illustration: "THEY WENT FOR BY CALVES"]

"I think they bight feed the raveds[1] bedder, " complained A. Fish, Esq. "They went for by calves, and if wud of those Beefeatershadn'd cub and driven theb away I shouldn't have had a leg left tostand up od. "

 [1] He meant the tame ravens which are kept at the Tower. 

"Beefeaters, yes!" remarked the Rhymester, "and a pretty lot theywere. I tried several of them with a piece that I had brought with mein a little paper bag, and not one of them would touch it. "

"Madame Tussaud's was better; we went there in the afternoon, " saidhis Majesty. 

"Yes, but who was to know which were wax figures and which were not?"asked the Doctor-in-Law. 

"Well, you made a pretty muddle of it anyhow, " said the Wallypug. "Doyou know, " he went on, "the Doctor-in-Law made us all pay sixpenceeach towards the catalogue, and then went around with us explainingthe various groups. He had just finished telling us that severalladies, who were standing together, were Henry the Eighth's wives, when they all marched off looking highly indignant. "

"Well, how was I to know?" remarked the Doctor-in-Law pettishly. "I'dnever met a single one of Henry the Eighth's wives in my life, and howwas I to recognize them?"

"I don't think they would have binded so butch if the Rhymebsterhadn't pinched wud of theb to see if they were alive or dot, " remarkedA. Fish, Esq. 

"Did you see the Sleeping Beauty?" asked Girlie. 

 [Illustration: HE COULD GET NO ANSWER]

"Oh, yes! Isn't it cruel to keep her shut up in that case, " cried theWallypug. "I'm sure she's alive, for we could see her breathing quitedistinctly. I was so concerned about it that I asked the Doctor-in-Lawto speak to a policeman who was standing near by about it. But hecould get no answer from him, and we found out afterwards that he wasonly a wax figure. "

"The best thig of all, " remarked A. Fish, Esq. , "was whed we allpretended that we--"

"Dear me, it's very warm!" interrupted the Doctor-in-Law. "Let'schange the subject. "

"Pretended that we--" continued A. Fish, Esq. 

"Hush--sh--sh--!" cried the Doctor-in-Law in a warning voice. 

"The fact of the matter is, " explained the Rhymester, "theDoctor-in-Law got us all to pretend that we were wax figuresourselves, and he tied little money boxes in front of us with thewords: 'Put a penny in the slot and the figure will move, ' written onthem, and when anyone put a penny in we all moved our heads and rolledour eyes about. "

"I didn't!" said the Wallypug. 

"No, I know you didn't, " replied the Rhymester. "And the Doctor-in-Lawhad to explain that you were out of order, and that's how we werefound out, for the people wanted their money back and he wouldn't giveit to them, so they called the attendant, and we had to go out asquickly as we could. "

"Ad wasn't id beade?" said A. Fish, Esq. "There were four shillingsad threepedce id the boxes, ad the Doctor-id-Law wouldn't give us apenny of id. "

"Well, I let you pay my fare home. That amounted to the same thing, "replied the little man. 

Just then Mrs. Putchy came in with afternoon tea, and I joined myguests in the drawing-room. 

CHAPTER VIII

HIS MAJESTY IS INTERVIEWED

The next morning we were all seated around the breakfast tablelaughing over our adventures of the evening before, when we hadvisited the Earl's Court Exhibition together. We had been up in theGreat Wheel, and having passed through the pretty old English villagewere walking around the artificial lake listening to the band playingin their little pavilion on the island in the middle, when theDoctor-in-Law declared that he heard a strange trumpeting sound, andasked me what it could be. I had not heard it and so could not tellhim, and we were just discussing the matter when the Wallypug clutchedwildly at his crown, and turning around we saw a huge elephant liftingit gracefully off his head with its trunk. 

Directly his Majesty realized what it was, he gave a wild scream andtook to his heels, as did all the others, with the exception of theRhymester, who tripped against a stone and lay with his head buried inhis arms for some time, kicking and screaming for help. 

Of course it was only the tame elephant that carries the children onits back, but to the unaccustomed eyes of the Wallypug and his partyit seemed, so they told me afterwards, some strange and awful monsterready to devour them. 

As I said, we were laughing merrily over this adventure when thepostman arrived, and the Doctor-in-Law, without asking to be excusedfrom the table, rushed out to meet him, and returned a few minuteslater with his arms loaded with a number of little packages and onerather large box, which had arrived by Carter Paterson. 

"Dear me, what a lot of letters, " remarked his Majesty. 

"Yes. Wouldn't you like to know what they are all about, eh?" inquiredthe Doctor-in-Law. 

"Yes, I should, " admitted the Wallypug; while the faces of theothers all expressed the same curiosity. 

 [Illustration: A STRANGE AND AWFUL MONSTER]

"Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, " said the Doctor-in-Law. "If you'llall pay me fourpence halfpenny each, I will let you open them and seefor yourselves. "

There was a little grumbling at this, but eventually the money changedhands, and, the breakfast things having been removed, the littlepackages were opened with great eagerness. 

Besides a printed circular, each one contained some little article--apencil case, a pen knife, a comb, a sample tin of knife polish, a cardof revolving collar studs, and so on. 

"Ah!" remarked the Doctor-in-Law complacently as these articleswere spread about the table; "I told you that I expected to derive aprincely revenue from my correspondence, and now I will explain to youhow it is done. I observed a great number of advertisements in thedaily papers, stating that 'A handsome income could be earned withoutthe slightest trouble or inconvenience, and particulars would beforwarded to any one sending six stamps and an addressed envelope';so I sent off about twenty, and here is the result. I see by thesecirculars that I have only to sell two hundred of these little pencilcases at half-a-crown each in order to earn 1s. 6d. Commission, andfor every dozen tins of knife polish I sell, I shall be paid 1-1/2d. , besides being able to earn 6d. A thousand by addressing envelopes forone firm, if I supply my own envelopes. "

"What's in the big box?" inquired the Rhymester. 

"A dittig bachede, " replied A. Fish, Esq. , who had been busily engagedin opening it. 

"A what?" exclaimed the others. 

"A dittig bachede for dittig socks, " repeated A. Fish, Esq. 

"Oh yes, of course!" explained the Doctor-in-Law, "a knitting machine. I was persuaded to buy it on the understanding that I was to haveconstant work all the year round, and be paid so much per pair forknitting socks with it. It's a most interesting and amusingoccupation, and, I'll tell you what, I don't mind letting any one ofyou use the machine for sixpence an hour, if you find your own worstedand give me the socks when they are finished. There now! nothingcould be fairer than that, could it?"

 [Illustration: THE "DITTIG BACHEDE"]

And positively A. Fish, Esq. , was so infatuated with the charms of the"dittig bachede, " as he called it, that he actually agreed to theseterms, and sent out for some worsted, and commenced "dittig" withgreat enthusiasm. The Doctor-in-Law then set the Rhymester to work, addressing the envelopes on the understanding that he was to sharethe sixpence per thousand to be paid for them. And, having botheredthe Wallypug and myself into buying a pencil-case and a knife each, inorder to get rid of him, he started off to the kitchen to see if hecould do any business with Mrs. Putchy in the knife-polish orblack-lead line. 

His Majesty and myself were just saying what an extraordinary littleman he was, when he burst in upon us again. 

"Heard the news?" he inquired, his face beaming with importance. 

"No. What is it?" inquired the others eagerly. 

"Ah! wouldn't you like to know?" exclaimed the Doctor-in-Law. "Howmuch will you give me for telling you?"

"How much do you want?" asked the Rhymester dubiously. 

"A penny each, " was the reply. 

"Come on then, let's have it, " said the Rhymester, collecting thepennies from the others and handing them to the Doctor-in-Law. 

"Why--er--er--Queen Anne is dead, and the Dutch have takenHolland--yah!" And the little man burst out laughing. 

"Oh! I say, that's _too_ bad, " grumbled the Wallypug. "Isn't it now?"he cried, appealing to me. 

"Well, really, " I replied, "you shouldn't be so silly as to give himmoney. You ought to know by this time what to expect from him. "

"No, but truly, " said the Doctor-in-Law, pulling a serious face, "I_have_ got some news, the other was only my fun. A lady is going tocall on us at eleven, to interview the Wallypug. I had almostforgotten it. "

"A lady!" I exclaimed. "Whoever do you mean?"

"Oh, she's the Duchess of something. I forget her name, " answered theDoctor-in-Law nonchalantly. "She called the other day while you wereout, and explained that she was a contributor to one of the latestsociety magazines, and was anxious to send an illustrated interviewwith the Wallypug, to her paper; so--a-hem!--after we had come toterms, I arranged for her to come to-day and see him. You had bettergo and make yourself tidy, hadn't you?" he continued, turning to theWallypug. 

"Well, really, " I interposed, "I think you might have consulted hisMajesty first, before making these arrangements. "

"Oh! do you?" said the Doctor-in-Law rudely. "Well, I don't see thatit's any business of yours, my good sir--so there!" and he bounced outof the room again, rattling his sample tins. 

It was nearly eleven then, and a few minutes afterwards abeautifully-appointed carriage drew up to the door, and Mrs. Putchybrought up a card inscribed:

 [Illustration: _Her Grace the Duchess of Mortlake. _]

and immediately ushered in a fashionably-dressed lady, who smilinglyoffered me the tips of her fingers. 

"Oh, _how_ do you do? You are the gentleman, I think, who is tointroduce me to his Majesty, are you not?"

"Well, really, your Grace, we have only just heard of the appointment, but his Majesty the Wallypug will be very pleased to receive you I amsure. "

"And is that his Majesty at the other end of the room?" whispered theDuchess. "Pray present me. "

I made the necessary introduction, and the Duchess gave the regulationCourt 'dip, ' which the Wallypug gravely imitated, and then in hisusual simple manner offered his hand with a smile. 

 [Illustration: IN THE MOST APPROVED FASHION]

Her Grace made a deep presentation curtsey and bowed over it in themost approved fashion; but the Wallypug, evidently unused to beingtreated with so much ceremony, withdrew it hastily and remarkednervously but politely:

"Won't you take a seat, madam?"

"Say, 'Your Grace, '" I whispered. 

"What for?" asked his Majesty blankly. 

"Because this lady is a Duchess, and you must always say 'Your Grace'when speaking to her, " I replied. 

"Oh!" said the Wallypug vaguely--then going up to the Duchess hesolemnly said, "I'm Grace. "

"No, no!" I explained. "You don't understand me. I mean, when youspeak to this lady you must call her 'Your Grace. '"

"Dear me, how stupid of me, to be sure!" said his Majesty. "Iunderstand now. I beg your pardon. I meant to say, 'You are my Grace, 'madam, " he continued, addressing himself to the Duchess. 

Her Grace amiably laughed away this little mistake, and was soon busyasking questions. The Wallypug, however, got very nervous, and made ashocking lot of mistakes in his answers. He couldn't even say how oldhe was. 

"I know I've been in the family for years, " he remarked, "and I fancyI must have come over with William the Conqueror. Such a lot of peopledid that, you know, and it's so respectable. I don't remember it, ofcourse; but then I've been told that I was born very young, and sonaturally I shouldn't do so. "

"Does your Majesty remember any of the incidents of your early life?"asked the Duchess. 

"I was considered remarkably bald for my age as an infant, " repliedthe Wallypug simply. "And I believe I had several measles, and a mumpor two as a child. But I don't wish to boast about them, " he addedmodestly. 

"Where were you educated, your Majesty?" was the next question. 

"I wasn't, " replied the Wallypug with a sigh. 

"Does your Majesty mean that you received no education at all?" askedthe Duchess in surprise. 

"Oh! I was taught reading, and writing, and arithmetic, and the use ofthe globes, and Latin and Greek, and all that rubbish, of course, "replied the Wallypug. "But I mean there were no Universities at Why, where I could receive a higher education, and be taught cricket, andfootball, and rowing, and all those classical things taught at Oxfordand Cambridge, you know. I was considered the best boy in my form atmarbles though, " he added proudly. "And I could beat any of themasters at Hop Scotch. "

"What is your favourite diet, your Majesty?" came next. 

"Oh! jumbles, I think--or bull's eyes. I'm very fond of hardbake too, and I love cocoa-nut ice. "

A few more questions such as these, and her Grace took her departure, after taking several snap-shot photographs of various articles in thedrawing room. 

I felt convinced that with such a scanty amount of information at herdisposal the Duchess would have great difficulty in writing an articleon the Wallypug, and was therefore the more surprised a few days laterto receive a copy of the magazine which her Grace represented, with along and particular account of the interview, under the heading of, "'Why Wallypug and wherefore of Why?' by a Lady of Title. " Into it herGrace had introduced the most preposterous and extravagant statementsabout his Majesty. 

We learned with amazement that "The Wallypug came of a very ancientfamily, and had early been distinguished for many remarkableaccomplishments. While at school his Majesty displayed such a naturalaptitude for learning as to readily out-distance his instructors. "

"I suppose that's because I said I played Hop Scotch better than themasters, " commented his Majesty, to whom I was reading the accountaloud. 

 [Illustration: THE FAITHFUL HOUND]

Photographs of various articles in the drawing-room, which had noconnection whatever with the Wallypug, were reproduced with the mostextraordinary and absolutely untrue stories attached to them. Dick andMrs. Mehetable Murchison appeared as "The Wallypug's favourite cat anddog, " while pathetic stories were told of how the dog had on severaloccasions saved his royal master from an untimely and watery grave, while the cat had prevented him from being burned to death whilereading in bed by gently scratching his nose when he had fallenasleep, and the candle had set fire to the bed curtains. Sensationalillustrations were also given depicting these incidents, which ofcourse were purely imaginary. 

It was very remarkable to notice though, that directly the article ofthe Duchess's appeared, invitations from all sorts of grand peoplepoured in upon us--and the daily papers suddenly woke up to the factthat the Wallypug and his suite were very important personages, anddevoted whole columns to "Our Mysterious Foreign Guests, " as theycalled them. 

 [Illustration: THE SAGACIOUS PUSSY]

There was always more or less of a crowd outside the house now, andwhen his Majesty drove in the Park, the people all stood up on thelittle green seats to get a better view of him as he passed. 

CHAPTER IX

THE WALLYPUG'S OWN

It was shortly after this that the Doctor-in-Law, hearing what a vastfortune might be made in literature, decided to start a magazine ofhis own. 

 [Illustration: THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW WAS EDITOR]

After a lot of argument it was thought best to call it _The Wallypug'sOwn_, as the name was considered a striking one. The first number wasto be a very elaborate affair, and, for weeks before it appeared, allof my guests were busily engaged in its production. 

"There will be a good opportunity for some of your poems appearing atlast, " hinted the Doctor-in-Law to the Rhymester, which so delightedthe poor little fellow that he set to work at once upon a number ofnew ones. A. Fish, Esq. , contributed a very learned article on thesubject of "The Prevalence of Toothache amongst Fish: its Cause andTreatment"; while the great attraction of the number was an historicalarticle by the Wallypug on the subject of "Julius Caesar, " illustratedby his Majesty himself. As a special favour, the original drawing waspresented to me by his Majesty, and I am thus enabled to reproduce itfor your benefit. His Majesty confided to me that parts of it weretraced from a picture which appeared in the _Boys' Own Paper_ sometime ago, but of course we did not tell everybody that. 

 [Illustration: FROM "THE WALLYPUG'S OWN"]

The essay itself was quite original, and was worded somehow like this:

 "_Julius Caesar was a man, and he lived in Rome. He came over to conquer Britain because he heard there was a lot of tin here, and when he arrived he said in Latin_, 'Veni, vidi, vici, ' _which means, 'I have come, and thou wilt have to skedaddle', which has been the British motto ever since. But the Ancient Britons who lived here then, didn't understand Latin, and so they went for Julius Caesar, and shook their fists in his face, and tried to drive him and his followers away. But Julius Caesar and the Romans were civilized, and had daggers and things, and shields, and wore firemen's helmets, and kilts like Scotchmen, so they soon overcame the Ancient Britons; and they built London Wall, and made a lot of combs, and glass tear-bottles, and brooches, and sarcophaguses, that you can see in the Museum at the Guildhall; and then they went back to Rome, and Julius Caesar was stabbed by his friend Brutus, to show how much he liked him; and Caesar, when he found out he was stabbed, cried out in Latin_, 'Et tu, Brute, ' _which means 'Oh, you brute, ' and lived happy ever after. I have drawn the picture of Julius Caesar landing in Britain--that's him waving things, and calling to the others to come on. _"

The Doctor-in-Law was editor, and arranged a number of competitions, and in order to enter for them you had only to send two shillings instamps, while the prizes were advertised as follows: First prize, £1000 a year for life; second prize, thirty-six grand pianos andfourteen bicycles; third prize, a sewing machine and six cakes ofscented soap. The prizes were to be awarded for the first correctanswers received by post, but the Doctor-in-Law took good care towrite three sets of answers himself, and put them in our letter-box ahalf-an-hour before the first post arrived, so that nobody got prizesbut himself. He made a good deal of money, too, by pretending to tellyour fortune by the creases in your collar. All you had to do was tosend an old collar and fourteen penny stamps, and you would receive aletter in reply similar to this:

"You are probably either a male or a female, and will no doubt livetill you die. You like to have your own way when you can get it, andwhen you can't you get very cross and irritable. You are not so youngas you were a few years ago, and you dislike pain of any kind. Youwill remain single until you marry, and whichever you do you willprobably wish you hadn't. "

The greatest novelty, however, which the Doctor-in-Law introduced inhis new magazine was his system of telling your character by yourwatch and chain. There was no fee charged, and all you had to do wasto send your watch and chain (gold preferred), and the Doctor-in-Lawwould tell your character, quite correctly. It generally was asfollows:

"You are a silly donkey, for no one but a donkey would think ofsending his watch and chain to a stranger, and if you imagine that youwill ever see it again, you are greatly mistaken. "

The Rhymester only had one poem in after all, as, when it came to thepoint, the Doctor-in-Law charged him a guinea a verse for printing it, and the poor Rhymester could not afford more than one poem at thatrate. 

This is what he sent:

 [Illustration]

THE NEW ROBIN. 

 The North wind doth blow, And we ought to have snow, If 'tis true what my nurse used to sing, Poor thing. 

 Yet up in yon tree Robin Redbreast I see As happy and gay as a king, Poor thing. 

 Look! as true as I live, There's a boy with a sieve And a stick and a long piece of string, Poor thing. 

 But the bird doesn't care, For I hear him declare, "Pooh! the old dodge he tried in the Spring, Poor thing. "

 "What ridiculous cheek, " And he turns up his beak Ere he tucks his head under his wing, Poor thing. 

 [Illustration]

The poor Rhymester was very disappointed at not being able to publishmore of his poems, so the Doctor-in-Law, to console him, allowed himto contribute an article on "Fashions for the Month by Our ParisModel. " He made a frightful muddle of it though, not knowing theproper terms in which to describe the various materials and styles. Here is an extract, which will show you better than I can tell, thestupid blunders which he made:

 "_Hats this season are principally worn on the head, and may be trimmed with light gauzy stuff wobbled round the crown mixed up with various coloured ribbons, and bunches of artificial flowers and fruit. _

 "_Artificial vegetables are not much worn, although a cauliflower or two and a bunch of carrots, with a few cabbages, would form a striking and novel decoration for a hat. If this trimming is considered insufficient, a few brightly coloured tomatoes stuck round the brim might be added, and would render the head-gear particularly 'chic. '_

 "_Hats for the theatre should be worn large and handsomely trimmed, but for the economically inclined--a last year's clothes basket trimmed with art muslin, which may be purchased of any good draper at 1-3/4d. A yard, cut on the cross and tucked with chiffons, would form a sweetly simple hat, and if tied beneath the chin with an aigrette, and the front filled in with sequins, it would readily be mistaken for one of the new early Victorian bonnets which continue to be worn by the upper housemaids in most aristocratic families. _

 _"I hear that dresses are to be worn again this year by ladies. The most fashionable ones will be made of various sorts of material. _

 _"A charming walking costume suitable for the Autumn may be made of shaded grenadine, trimmed with buckram pom-poms, made up on the selvedge edge. "_

There was a lot more nonsense of this kind which I did not at allunderstand, but which some lady friends who understood these thingsmade great fun of. 

You will be surprised, no doubt, to hear that in a weak moment Iallowed myself to be persuaded into contributing a little experienceof my own. 

The Rhymester told me that it was shockingly bad rhyme, but I thinkthat he was jealous because the Doctor-in-Law published it. Anyhow, here it is, so you can judge for yourself. I call it

HE AND I AND IT. 

 Oh HE was a Publisher And I was a Publishee, And IT was a book Which the Publisher took And pub-l-i-s-h-e-d. 

 The Publisher's smile it was bland, 'Twas a beautiful smile to see, As again and again He took pains to explain How large my "half-profits" _might_ be. 

 IT had a capital sale, Well reviewed by the _Times_ and _D. T. _, And a great many more, So my friends by the score Came around to congratulate me. 

 [Illustration: IT HAD A CAPITAL SALE]

 And people I scarcely had met, Just "dropped in" to afternoon tea; While my aunt, who's a swell, _Now_ remembered quite well That I was related to she. 

 And girls that were rich and plain, Or pretty and poor, did agree To let me suppose That I'd but to propose To be m-a-r-r-i-e-d. 

 [Illustration: MY FRIENDS ALL TURNED TAIL]

 Yes, HE published IT in the Spring, That season of frolic and glee; "In the Autumn, " HE said, Gravely nodding his head, "'Half-profits' will mean L. S. D. "

 But Autumn has come and gone, And I'm so to say, "All at sea, " For HE sobs and HE sighs And HE turns up his eyes When I ask what my "half-profits" be. 

 There are "charges for this, and for that, " And for "things that HE couldn't foresee, " And HE "very much fears, " So he says twixt his tears, "That there won't be a penny for me. "

 Oh! rich is the Publisher And poor is the Publishee; Of the profits of IT I shall touch not a bit, They are all swallowed up by HE. 

 The girls now all treat me with scorn-- Aunt turns up her n-o-s-e, And my friends all turn tail, While my book they assail And call rubbish and twad-d-l-e. 

Even One-and-Nine and General Mary Jane were smitten with a desire torush into print, and I overheard them concocting a tragic Love Storyin the kitchen, and they were highly indignant later on, because theDoctor-in-Law would not accept it. You can hardly wonder at it though, for it really was too bad for anything. 

It was called "The Viscount's Revenge, " and in it several characterswho had been killed in the first part of the book kept cropping up allthrough the story in a most confusing manner, while One-and-Nine andGeneral Mary Jane could not agree as to whether the heroine should bedark or fair, so in one part of the book she had beautiful golden hairand blue eyes, and in another she was described as "darkly, proudlyhandsome, with a wealth of dusky hair and eyes as black as night. "

 [Illustration: THE LITERARY HOUSEMAID]

At the last moment it was found necessary to include another poem inthe magazine, and, as all of the Rhymester's were too long, theDoctor-in-Law decided to write one himself, which he called

COMMERCIAL PROBLEMS. 

 Why doth the little busy bee Not charge so much an hour, For gathering honey day by day From every opening flower?

 And can you tell me why, good sir, The birds receive no pay For singing sweetly in the grove Throughout the livelong day?

 Why flow'rs should bloom about the place And give their perfume free, In so unbusinesslike a way, Seems very odd to me. 

 I cannot meet a single cow That charges for her milk, And though they are not paid a sou, The silkworms still spin silk. 

 While ducks and hens, I grieve to find, Lay eggs for nothing too, Which is a most ridiculous And foolish thing to do. 

 These problems often puzzle me; I lie awake at night, And think and think what I can do To set this matter right. 

 I've found a way at last, and though It may at first seem funny, It cannot fail--'tis this: _You_ pay, And _I'll_ collect the money. 

CHAPTER X

THE WALLYPUG GOES TO WINDSOR

While they were all busy in the preparation of _The Wallypug's Own_, Ithought it an excellent opportunity to run down to Folkestone in orderto make arrangements for hiring a house, as I intended taking myguests to the seaside for a few weeks. 

I felt a little anxious about leaving them to themselves, but hopedthat they would be too busy and interested in the new magazine to getinto trouble. 

It was most unfortunate that I should have gone just then though, fordirectly I had left the Wallypug received a polite letter from one ofthe Court officials to say that the Queen would be pleased to receivehis Majesty and suite at Windsor on the following day. 

 [Illustration: A ROYAL INVITATION]

Of course, as you may imagine, the Wallypug was in a great state ofexcitement at receiving this royal invitation, and wished to telegraphat once for me to return and advise them how to act and what to do, onthis important occasion; however, the Doctor-in-Law, so I have beengiven to understand, persuaded his Majesty not to do anything of thesort, and added that I "was always poking about and interfering, andwas better out of the way"; so his Majesty, who was very anxious to dothe right thing, consulted Mrs. Putchy as to the proper costume to beworn, and the etiquette to be observed. 

"Well, your Majesty, " remarked Mrs. Putchy in reply, "I scarcely knowwhat to advise. When in my younger days, I acted as lady's maid to theCountess of Wembley, I know her ladyship wore a Court train andcarried a bouquet when she was presented to the Queen. "

"Where did the engine go?" asked his Majesty curiously. 

"The engine!" exclaimed Mrs. Putchy. 

"Yes; you said she wore a train, didn't you?" said the Wallypug. 

"Oh! but I didn't mean that kind of train, " laughed Mrs. Putchy; "Imeant a long sort of cloak fastened on to the shoulders and trailingalong the ground at the back--they are generally made of satin andvelvet, and are decorated with flowers and feathers and lace, and thatsort of thing. Your Majesty's cloak would do nicely if I trimmed itfor you. "

"But are you sure that gentlemen wear these sort of things?" inquiredthe Wallypug. 

"Well, I couldn't rightly say, your Majesty, but I'm sure I've seenpictures of kings and such like wearing trains which were borne bypages, so I feel sure your Majesty would be safe in wearing one. "

So it was arranged that, after having been carefully brushed, hisMajesty's velvet cloak was to be gaily decorated with lace and largebunches of flowers, and, to make the thing complete, a large bouquetwas tied around his sceptre, and, at the Rhymester's suggestion, little knots of flowers were attached to the knobs of his Majesty'scrown. 

The little man was highly delighted with his appearance when all thesearrangements were concluded, and could get but very little sleep thatnight for thinking of the great honour which was to be his the nextday. 

The whole household was early astir in the morning, and at abouteleven o'clock the carriage came to take the royal guests to thestation. 

Arrived at Waterloo, the Doctor-in-Law, after making various inquiriesas to the price of the tickets, etc. , actually had the meanness, despite the remonstrance of the railway officials, to insist upon thewhole party travelling down third-class, remarking that he "found thethird-class carriages reached there quite as soon as the first, and apenny saved was a penny gained. "

The station master at Windsor was particularly put out about it, as, in honour of his Majesty's visit, the station had been gaily decoratedand a carpet laid down to the carriage door. His Majesty, however, made a brave show as he walked up the platform preceded by theDoctor-in-Law, his gaily decorated train borne by the Rhymester, andfollowed by A. Fish, Esq. , and One-and-Nine, the latter carrying amysterious bandbox, which contained a present from the Wallypug to herMajesty. (See frontispiece. )

Inside and out the station was crowded with curious spectators, alleager to catch a glimpse of his Majesty and his remarkable retinue, and cheer after cheer resounded as the station master, bare-headed andbowing, ushered the party to the royal carriage with the red andgold-liveried servants, which had been sent from the castle to meetthem. 

The bells were ringing, and the streets were crowded as they drovethrough the old town, and his Majesty thoroughly enjoyed the drive, while the Doctor-in-Law was quite in his element amidst all this fussand excitement. 

I did not care to inquire too fully into the details of his Majesty'sinterview with the Queen, but I was given to understand that the wholeparty was treated with the utmost kindness. 

Her Majesty graciously accepted at the Wallypug's hands a gildedcrown, an exact copy of the one he wore himself, and which he had hadmade expressly for her Majesty, having been struck by the fact thather Majesty's real crown was always kept locked up in the Tower, andhoping that perhaps this one would do for second best. 

I could not gather that her Majesty had actually promised to wear it, but I do know that the Wallypug was made exceedingly proud and happyby the gift of a portrait of her Majesty herself, with the royalautograph attached, and that he will always remember the occasion ofhis visit to Windsor, and the kindness with which he was treated byeveryone, particularly by the little Princes and Princesses, herMajesty's great grand-children, who led him about the Castle grounds, and showed him their pets, and the flowers, and conservatories, andall the wonderful sights of that wonderful place. 

In the evening there was a dinner party, at which her Majesty did notappear, and early the next morning a royal carriage again drove themto the station _en route_ for London. 

All this I learned on my return from Folkestone. I also heard of anextraordinary evening party which had been given at my house during myabsence. It appears that the invitations had been sent out by theDoctor-in-Law the very day upon which I left, and about thirty guests, including the Duchess of Mortlake, had been invited. Unfortunately, however, this visit to Windsor had entirely driven the matter from theWallypug's mind, and the others had forgotten about it too, and so apretty confusion was the result. 

It appears that one evening about seven o'clock they were all in thekitchen making toffee, having persuaded Mrs. Putchy to let them havethe frying-pan and some sugar and butter, and it having been cookingfor some time the Doctor-in-Law had just told the Wallypug to stickhis finger in and see if it was done, when Mrs. Putchy came in to saythat some ladies and gentlemen had arrived, and were waiting in thedrawing-room. 

 [Illustration: TO SEE IF IT WAS DONE]

All of a sudden it flashed upon their minds that _this_ was theevening upon which they had invited their visitors to the party. Whatever was to be done? Not the slightest preparation had beenmade--and his Majesty and the others were all more or less in a stickycondition, and quite unfit to be seen by company. 

A hurried consultation took place, during which they could hear moreand more guests arriving, and at last, by a brilliant inspiration, theDoctor-in-Law thought of making it a surprise party, similar to thosegiven in America. 

"It won't cost us anything either, " he remarked complacently. 

"But what is a surprise party?" asked the others. 

"Never mind, you'll see presently, " remarked the little man. "Run andwash your hands now and make yourselves tidy. "

A few minutes later the whole party filed into the drawing-room, theWallypug looking rather blank and nervous, and the Doctor-in-Law fullof profuse apologies for having kept the guests waiting so long. 

"By the way, " he remarked airily, "I suppose you all know that it's asurprise party. "

"Dear me, no, " said the Duchess of Mortlake, speaking for the others. "Whatever is that; I don't think it was mentioned on the cards ofinvitation, was it?"

"Ah! a trifling oversight, " remarked the Doctor-in-Law. "A surpriseparty, " he continued in explanation, "is one at which each guest isexpected to contribute something towards the supper--some bring onething and some another. What have you brought, may I ask, your Grace?"

"Well, really, " said the Duchess, "I've never heard of such a thing inmy life before. I've not brought anything at all, of course; I'msurprised at your asking me such a question. "

"Ah, yes, just so, " remarked the Doctor-in-Law triumphantly, "justwhat I told you--a _surprise_ party, don't you see! Now, what I wouldadvise is that you should all go out and order various things to besent in for supper; we, for our part, will provide some excellenttoffee, and then you can come back and help us to set the tables andall that sort of thing, you know--it's the greatest fun in the world, I assure you. "

And really the little man carried it off with such gaiety, thatentering into the spirit of the thing the guests really did as hesuggested, and went out and ordered the things, and afterwards cameback, and, amidst great laughter and fun, the tables were laid, everyone doing some share of the work, with the exception of theDoctor-in-Law, who contented himself with directing the others andchatting to the ladies. 

 [Illustration: THE WALLYPUG HELPS]

The poor dear Wallypug amiably toiled backward and forward between thekitchen and dining-room with great piles of plates and other heavyarticles, and A. Fish, Esq. , in his eagerness to help, was continuallytreading on his own tail, upsetting himself and the various dishesentrusted to his charge. 

 [Illustration: A. FISH, ESQ. , UPSET]

At last, however, the supper was set, and the merriest evening you canpossibly imagine was spent by the guests. His Majesty was in capitalspirits, and after supper suggested a little dancing, which suggestionwas hailed with delight by the others, and, having moved some of thefurniture out of the drawing-room and pushed the rest away intocorners, the Wallypug led off with her Grace the Duchess of Mortlake, and quite distinguished himself in "Sir Roger de Coverley. " Afterwardsthere was a little singing and music, several of the guestscontributing to the evening's entertainment. Amongst other items was asong by A. Fish, Esq. , rendered as well as his bad cold would permit, of which the first lines ran:

 I'b siddig here ad lookig at the bood, love, Ad thinkig ov the habby days of old, Wed you ad I had each a wooded spood, love, To eat our porridge wed we had a cold. 

Altogether the evening was such a success that her Grace declared thatit should not be her fault if surprise parties were not the fashion inSociety during the coming winter. 

CHAPTER XI

HIS MAJESTY AT THE SEASIDE

I sent Mrs. Putchy and General Mary Jane down to the house, which Ihad engaged on the "Lees" at Folkestone, the day before we were to go, in order to see that everything was ready for us. 

"The only thing that is wrong is the kitchen chimney, and that smokes, sir, " said Mrs. Putchy, in answer to my inquiry on the night of ourarrival. "I think that we had better have the sweep in the morning, sir. "

"Very well, Mrs. Putchy, I'm sure you know best, " I replied, andthought no more of the matter. 

Early in the morning, however, I was awakened by screams and criesproceeding from the lower part of the house. 

"Help! help! Burglars! Fire and police! Thieves!" screamed a voice, and hastily dressing myself, I rushed out into the passage, and wasconfronted by the Rhymester, who had evidently just jumped out of bed, and who, though it was broad daylight, bore a lighted candle in onehand, and a pair of fire tongs in the other. 

His teeth were chattering with fright, and his knees were knockingtogether from the same cause. 

"What's the matter, " I asked in alarm. 

"Oh! oh! there are burglars in the house, " he cried excitedly, "andthe others have gone down to them; I'm sure they'll be killed--I toldthem not to go, but they would. Let's go and hide under a bedsomewhere. Oh! oh, what will become of us?"

"Don't be such a coward, " I cried, hurrying down stairs, while thepoor little Rhymester, afraid to be left alone upstairs, tremblinglyfollowed. 

Sure enough there was a sound of struggling going on, and voicesraised in loud dispute. 

"Oh, that story won't do for me, " I heard the Doctor-in-Law exclaim. 

"But I tell yez, sor, " chimed in another strange voice, "I waz onlygoing to----"

"Never mind what you were going to do, give up the sack, " said theDoctor-in-Law. 

Then there were sounds of struggling, and amidst the confusion a voicesaying:

"Hold him down! Sit on him! That's right! Now for the sack. "

And, bursting the door open, a curious sight met my eyes. A poor sweeplay flat upon the floor, with the Wallypug sitting upon him, andOne-and-Nine keeping guard; while the Doctor-in-Law and A. Fish, Esq. , examined his bag of soot in the corner. The poor little Rhymestersummoned up sufficient courage to peep in at the doorway, and stoodthere making a piteous picture, with his white face and tremblinglimbs. 

"Whatever is the matter, " I inquired as soon as I entered. 

"We've caught him!" exclaimed his Majesty, complacently wriggling histoes about. 

"But what's he been doing, " I asked. 

 [Illustration: "WE'VE CAUGHT HIM!"]

"Av ye plaze, sor, " groaned the man, panting beneath the Wallypug'sweight, "I have been doing nothing at all, at all. I waz justa-finishin' me warrak of swapin' the chimneys, wen one ov the ouldgintleman came up an' poked me in the nose with a sthick, and theother ould gintleman knocked me over and sthole me bag, while thesoger hild me down till the other gintleman sat on me--it's among alot of murtherin' thaves I've got entoirely, savin' yer presince, sor. "

"The man is a burglar, " declared the Doctor-in-Law emphatically. "Ihappened to hear a very suspicious noise down here, and calling to theothers, rushed down just in time to catch this man making off with abag of things. I think he was trying to escape up the chimney, for hishead was half-way up when we entered, and this bag, which evidentlycontains plunder of some kind, is covered with soot too. "

"Why, the man is a sweep, and was sweeping the chimney, " I cried, pointing to his brushes and sticks; and after a lot of explanationsthe man was told to get up and his Majesty, followed by the others, retired to his bedroom, evidently greatly disappointed that it was nota real burglar that they had been combating. 

The sweep, who was a very good-natured Irishman, took it in very goodpart, and the present of half-a-crown sent him away quite reconciledto his assailants. 

The Rhymester afterwards made a great boast that he had not taken anypart in the mélée. 

"Of course I knew all along that he wasn't a burglar, " he declared, "and that's the reason why I wouldn't interfere. "

"You managed to do a good deal of screaming though, I noticed, "remarked the Doctor-in-Law grumpily. 

"Ah! that was only for fun, " asserted the Rhymester. 

This was really about the only remarkable incident which occurredduring our holiday at Folkestone, which passed very pleasantly andvery quietly. We went for a sea bathe nearly every day, and hisMajesty would insist upon wearing his crown in the water on everyoccasion. 

"No one will know that I am a king if I don't, " he declared; and I ambound to admit that his Majesty did not look very regal in his bathingcostume, particularly when he was dripping with water and his longstraight hair hung half over his face, and even when he wore hiscrown he was continually catching bits of seaweed in it, which gavehim a singularly untidy appearance for a king. 

 [Illustration: HIS MAJESTY DID NOT LOOK VERY REGAL]

A. Fish, Esq. , with the assistance of a lifebuoy, nearly learned toswim while we were down there; but the Doctor-in-Law thought thathiring bathing machines was a foolish waste of money, and contentedhimself with taking off his shoes and stockings and paddling, which hecould do without having to pay. One day, however, he was knockedcompletely over by an incoming wave, and got wet to the skin. 

We could never persuade the Rhymester either, to go out further thanjust to his knees; but I rather fancy that that was because he wasafraid of wetting his bathing costume, of which he was particularlyproud, and which was decorated with smart little bows of ribbonwherever they could be conveniently put. 

Fear may have had something to do with it though, for I noticed thathe always clung very tightly to the rope, and never by any chance wentbeyond its length. 

The switchback railway was a source of infinite amusement, and a greatdeal of time was spent on it. Boating was not much indulged in, as itmade one or two of the party, particularly A. Fish, Esq. , very ill;but we all enjoyed the beautiful drives in the neighbourhood. Therewas an excellent Punch and Judy show in the town too, which sofascinated his Majesty that we could scarcely tear him away wheneverhe joined the admiring crowd which daily surrounded it. 

The fickle One-and-Nine, while we were here, fell in love with a waxfigure exhibited in a hair-dresser's window in Sandgate Road. Itrepresented a beautiful lady with her hair dressed in the latestfashion, and the wooden soldier was greatly infatuated. He spenthours gazing through the window, watching the lady slowly revolve byclockwork; and he became frightfully jealous of the hair-dresser, whomhe caught one morning rearranging the drapery around the lady'sshoulders. 

Eventually, with the assistance of the Rhymester, he composed thefollowing piece of poetry--which he stuck, by means of six gelatinesweets, on to the hair-dresser's window with the writing inside, inorder that the lady might see it. 

TO THE BEAUTIFUL LADY IN THE HAIRDRESSER'S WINDOW. 

 I love you, oh! I love you, And I beg you to be mine; I'm a gallant wooden soldier, And my name is 1/9. 

 If you will only marry me, 'Twill be the greatest fun To puzzle folks by telling them, That we're both 2/1. 

 'Twill be the truth, for man and wife Are one, I beg to state, This fact's as clear as 4/4, Or 2/6 make 8. 

 They tell me, dear, you have no feet; But what is that to me? 2 feet be 4/2 behind On animals you see. 

 That you have none, is 0 to me, Dear 1/4 your sake, No trifles such as these shall e'er My true affections shake. 

 I bought some penny tarts for you, But I am much distrest To tell you by mistake I sat On 1/8 the rest. 

One-and-Nine was quite happy in finding that the paper had disappearedfrom the shop window when he passed by a little later, and declaredthat it must mean that the lady had accepted him and his poetry. 

I think the funniest incident of all though, in connection with ourvisit to Folkestone, was when his Majesty and the others went intoCarlo Maestrani's for some ices. 

They had never tasted any before, and were very much surprised to findthem so cold. I shall never forget the expression on the Wallypug'sface when, having rather greedily taken a very large mouthful, hecould not swallow it, or dispose of it in any way. A. Fish, Esq. , declared that it gave him a violent toothache; while the Doctor-in-Lawcalled for the waiter, and insisted upon him taking it away. 

 [Illustration: "IT'S NOT PROPERLY COOKED"]

"It's not properly cooked, " he declared angrily. "It's cold. "

"Cook, sare, no, sare, it is not cook, " agreed the waiter. 

"Very well, then, take it away and bring us some that is. Have itwarmed up; do something with it. It's disgraceful bringing us stufflike that. "

And no argument or persuasion would convince the little man that theices were as they should be. 

CHAPTER XII

THE DEPARTURE

We remained at Folkestone till the latter part of September, and thenreturned to London just about the time that the first number of _TheWallypug's Own_ made its appearance. 

It caused quite a sensation in literary circles, and was mentioned bymost of the papers; but it did _not_ turn out a monetary success, andso the Doctor-in-Law declared that he must devise some other means ofmaking money. 

We had been once or twice to the circus, and I fancy that it musthave been his intention to start something of the sort himself, for Icaught him one day trying to teach his Majesty to walk the tight-rope;but as he had only tied the rope between two very light chairs theresult was not very satisfactory, particularly to the poor Wallypug, who came to the ground with a terrific crash. 

A. Fish, Esq. , dressed as a clown, and certainly looked very funny;but his bad cold prevented him from speaking his jokes distinctly, andso the idea was given up. 

 [Illustration: THE RESULT WAS NOT SATISFACTORY]

In fact it was not till November that the Doctor-in-Law hit upon aplan which seemed to give him any great satisfaction. We had beentalking a great deal about Guy Fawkes' day and the fireworks at theCrystal Palace, which we intended going to see in the evening, andthe Doctor-in-Law had been particularly curious to know all about theday and its customs. He did not say much about his plans, but I feltsure that he was up to some of his tricks, for I caught him severaltimes whispering mysteriously to the Rhymester and A. Fish, Esq. , andI noticed that they were all particularly kind and respectful to hisMajesty, as though they wished to keep him in a good humour. 

On the morning of the fifth, when I came down to breakfast, I wasgreatly surprised to find that the whole party had gone out about anhour previous, after borrowing from Mrs. Putchy a kitchen chair, fourbroomsticks, and a long piece of clothes-line. Whatever were they upto?

I asked Mrs. Putchy if they had left any message, but no--they hadsaid nothing as to where they were going, what they were going to do, or when they would be back; and the only thing that had struck Mrs. Putchy as being at all remarkable about their appearance, was the factthat the Rhymester had added little bows of coloured ribbon to hiscostume, and wore a tall pointed cap gaily decorated with streamers, and a deep white frill around his neck--the others were dressed asusual. 

I felt sure that some mischief was brewing, and could not settle downto my work for thinking of them. About eleven o'clock I went out tosee if I could find any traces of my guests. I had been walking aboutunsuccessfully for about an hour, when I heard some boys shouting, andturning to look in their direction, I beheld his Majesty calmly seatedin a chair which, by means of long poles attached to it, was beingcarried along by the Rhymester and A. Fish, Esq. 

They were followed by a crowd of people who were cheering lustily, andthe Doctor-in-Law was rushing about collecting money in his hat, andentreating the people "not to forget the fifth of November, " andrepeating some doggerel verse about:

 "Guy Fawkes guy, Stick him up high; Stick him on a lamp-post, And there let him die, "

while several little boys were dancing about in great excitement, andshouting, "Holler, boys! holler! here's another guy. "

 [Illustration: A TRIUMPHAL PROCESSION]

His Majesty evidently regarded it as a great compliment to himself, and complacently bowed right and left with considerable dignity. And Ifound out that the Doctor-in-Law had persuaded him into believing thatthis triumphal procession had been arranged solely in his Majesty'shonour. 

I was naturally very vexed at the poor Wallypug being imposed upon inthis manner, and spoke very plainly to the Doctor-in-Law about it onour way home, and I think the little man must have taken it very muchto heart, for he seemed quite subdued, and actually himself suggestedsharing the proceeds of the collection with the others. 

We went to see the fireworks in the evening, and I don't ever rememberseeing the party in such excellent spirits as they were that night. 

Mrs. Putchy had prepared a capital supper for us on our return, and Ilove to remember my friends as they appeared sitting around the suppertable talking over the adventures and excitements of the day. I cansee them now whenever I close my eyes--the dear old Wallypug at thehead of the table, with One-and-Nine in attendance, and the othersall talking at once about the jolly time they had had at the SkatingRink in the afternoon, when A. Fish, Esq. , had vainly tried to getalong with roller-skates fastened on to his tail. 

 [Illustration: A CAPITAL STORY]

I say I love to remember them thus, for it was the last occasion uponwhich we were all together. Early the next morning Mrs. Putchy came tomy room, and in a very agitated voice said, "Please sir, I'm afraidthat there is something wrong; I have knocked at his Majesty's doorand can get no answer, and the Doctor-in-Law's room is empty too. "

I hurried down, and on the breakfast table I found a letter addressedto me, in which his Majesty, on behalf of the others, thanked me veryheartily for my hospitality, and explained that State matters of theutmost importance had necessitated their immediate return to Why. Howthey went I have never been able to discover. 

The outer door of my flat was found to be locked on the inside asusual, and the windows were all fastened; besides which, as they weresome distance from the ground, the Royal party could scarcely have gotout that way. 

Altogether the whole affair was involved in a mystery which I havenever been able to solve to this day. Of course I miss my strange, but withal lovable visitors, very much, and I value very highly theseveral little mementoes of their visit which remained behind. Amongstothers is a cheque of the Doctor-in-Law's for a considerable amount;which, however, I shall never be able to cash, as it is drawn upon thebank of, "Don't-you-wish-you-may-get-it, " at Why. 

General Mary Jane was inconsolable for some time after the departureof her soldier hero, but eventually married our milkman, a verysteady and respectable man in the neighbourhood. Girlie and Boy andmany other friends of the Wallypug greatly regretted that they wereunable to say good-bye to his Majesty before he left; and often andoften, as I sit alone in my study, I think about the simple-natured, good-hearted little fellow, and his remarkable followers, and wonderif I shall ever see them again. Who knows?

 [Illustration: I OFTEN THINK OF THEM]

 THE END

 GLASGOW: PRINTED AT THE UNIVERSITY PRESS BY ROBERT MACLEHOSE AND CO. 

 * * * * *

 A CATALOGUE OF BOOKS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS OF METHUEN AND COMPANY PUBLISHERS: LONDON 36 ESSEX STREET W. C. 

CONTENTS

 PAGE FORTHCOMING BOOKS, 2 POETRY, 10 BELLES LETTRES, 11 ILLUSTRATED BOOKS, 13 HISTORY, 14 BIOGRAPHY, 16 TRAVEL, ADVENTURE AND TOPOGRAPHY, 18 GENERAL LITERATURE, 19 SCIENCE, 21 PHILOSOPHY, 22 THEOLOGY, 22 LEADERS OF RELIGION, 24 FICTION, 25 BOOKS FOR BOYS AND GIRLS, 34 THE PEACOCK LIBRARY, 35 UNIVERSITY EXTENSION SERIES, 35 SOCIAL QUESTIONS OF TO-DAY, 36 CLASSICAL TRANSLATIONS, 37 EDUCATIONAL BOOKS, 38

NOVEMBER 1897

 NOVEMBER 1897. MESSRS. METHUEN'S ANNOUNCEMENTS

 #Poetry#

 SHAKESPEARE'S POEMS. Edited, with an Introduction and Notes, by GEORGE WYNDHAM, M. P. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. 6s. _

 This is a volume of the sonnets and lesser poems of Shakespeare, and is prefaced with an elaborate Introduction by Mr. Wyndham. 

 ENGLISH LYRICS. Selected and Edited by W. E. HENLEY. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. 6s. _

 Also 15 copies on Japanese paper. _Demy 8vo. _ _£2, 2s. Net. _

 Few announcements will be more welcome to lovers of English verse than the one that Mr. Henley is bringing together into one book the finest lyrics in our language. 

 NURSERY RHYMES. With many Coloured Pictures. By F. D. BEDFORD. _Small 4to. _ _5s. _

 This book has many beautiful designs in colour to illustrate the old rhymes. 

 THE ODYSSEY OF HOMER. A Translation by J. G. CORDERY. _Crown 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 #Travel and Adventure#

 BRITISH CENTRAL AFRICA. By Sir H. H. JOHNSTON, K. C. B. With nearly Two Hundred Illustrations, and Six Maps. _Crown 4to. _ _30s. Net. _

 CONTENTS. --(1) The History of Nyasaland and British Central Africa generally. (2) A detailed description of the races and languages of British Central Africa. (3) Chapters on the European settlers and missionaries; the Fauna, the Flora, minerals, and scenery. (4) A chapter on the prospects of the country. 

 WITH THE GREEKS IN THESSALY. By W. KINNAIRD ROSE, Reuter's Correspondent. With Plans and 23 Illustrations. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A history of the operations in Thessaly by one whose brilliant despatches from the seat of war attracted universal attention. 

 THE BENIN MASSACRE. By CAPTAIN BOISRAGON. With Portrait and Map. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This volume is written by one of the two survivors who escaped the terrible massacre in Benin at the beginning of this year. The author relates in detail his adventures and his extraordinary escape, and adds a description of the country and of the events which led up to the outbreak. 

 FROM TONKIN TO INDIA. By PRINCE HENRI OF ORLEANS. Translated by HAMLEY BENT, M. A. With 80 Illustrations and a Map. _Crown 4to. _ _25s. _

 The travels of Prince Henri in 1895 from China to the valley of the Bramaputra covered a distance of 2100 miles, of which 1600 was through absolutely unexplored country. No fewer than seventeen ranges of mountains were crossed at altitudes of from 11, 000 to 13, 000 feet. The journey was made memorable by the discovery of the sources of the Irrawaddy. To the physical difficulties of the journey were added dangers from the attacks of savage tribes. The book deals with many of the burning political problems of the East, and it will be found a most important contribution to the literature of adventure and discovery. 

 THREE YEARS IN SAVAGE AFRICA. By LIONEL DECLE. With an Introduction by H. M. STANLEY, M. P. With 100 Illustrations and 5 Maps. _Demy 8vo. _ _21s. _

 Few Europeans have had the same opportunity of studying the barbarous parts of Africa as Mr. Decle. Starting from the Cape, he visited in succession Bechuanaland, the Zambesi, Matabeleland and Mashonaland, the Portuguese settlement on the Zambesi, Nyasaland, Ujiji, the headquarters of the Arabs, German East Africa, Uganda (where he saw fighting in company with the late Major 'Roddy' Owen), and British East Africa. In his book he relates his experiences, his minute observations of native habits and customs, and his views as to the work done in Africa by the various European Governments, whose operations he was able to study. The whole journey extended over 7000 miles, and occupied exactly three years. 

 WITH THE MOUNTED INFANTRY IN MASHONALAND. By Lieut. -Colonel ALDERSON. With numerous Illustrations and Plans. _Demy 8vo. _ _12s. 6d. _

 This is an account of the military operations in Mashonaland by the officer who commanded the troops in that district during the late rebellion. Besides its interest as a story of warfare, it will have a peculiar value as an account of the services of mounted infantry by one of the chief authorities on the subject. 

 THE HILL OF THE GRACES: OR, THE GREAT STONE TEMPLES OF TRIPOLI. By H. S. COWPER, F. S. A. With Maps, Plans, and 75 Illustrations. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 A record of two journeys through Tripoli in 1895 and 1896. The book treats of a remarkable series of megalithic temples which have hitherto been uninvestigated, and contains a large amount of new geographical and archæological matter. 

 ADVENTURE AND EXPLORATION IN AFRICA. By Captain A. ST. H. GIBBONS, F. R. G. S. With Illustrations by C. WHYMPER, and Maps. _Demy 8vo. _ _21s. _

 This is an account of travel and adventure among the Marotse and contiguous tribes, with a description of their customs, characteristics, and history, together with the author's experiences in hunting big game. The illustrations are by Mr. Charles Whymper, and from photographs. There is a map by the author of the hitherto unexplored regions lying between the Zambezi and Kafukwi rivers and from 18° to 15° S. Lat. 

 #History and Biography#

 A HISTORY OF EGYPT, FROM THE EARLIEST TIMES TO THE PRESENT DAY. Edited by W. M. FLINDERS PETRIE, D. C. L. , LL. D. , Professor of Egyptology at University College. _Fully Illustrated. _ _In Six Volumes. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 VOL. V. ROMAN EGYPT. By J. G. MILNE. 

 THE DECLINE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE. By EDWARD GIBBON. A New Edition, edited with Notes, Appendices, and Maps by J. B. BURY, M. A. , Fellow of Trinity College, Dublin. _In Seven Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo, gilt top. _ _8s. 6d. Each. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _ _Vol. IV. _

 THE LETTERS OF VICTOR HUGO. Translated from the French by F. CLARKE, M. A. _In Two Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. Each. _ _Vol. II. _ 1835-72. 

 This is the second volume of one of the most interesting and important collection of letters ever published in France. The correspondence dates from Victor Hugo's boyhood to his death, and none of the letters have been published before. 

 A HISTORY OF THE GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY, 1845-95. By C. H. GRINLING. With Maps and Illustrations. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 A record of Railway enterprise and development in Northern England, containing much matter hitherto unpublished. It appeals both to the general reader and to those specially interested in railway construction and management. 

 A HISTORY OF BRITISH COLONIAL POLICY. By H. E. EGERTON, M. A. _Demy 8vo. _ _12s. 6d. _

 This book deals with British Colonial policy historically from the beginnings of English colonisation down to the present day. The subject has been treated by itself, and it has thus been possible within a reasonable compass to deal with a mass of authority which must otherwise be sought in the State papers. The volume is divided into five parts:--(1) The Period of Beginnings, 1497-1650; (2) Trade Ascendancy, 1651-1830; (3) The Granting of Responsible Government, 1831-1860; (4) _Laissez Aller_, 1861-1885; (5) Greater Britain. 

 A HISTORY OF ANARCHISM. By E. V. ZENKER. Translated from the German. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 A critical study and history, as well as a powerful and trenchant criticism, of the Anarchist movement in Europe. The book has aroused considerable attention on the Continent. 

 THE LIFE OF ERNEST RENAN. By MADAME DARMESTETER. With Portrait. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A biography of Renan by one of his most intimate friends. 

 A LIFE OF DONNE. By AUGUSTUS JESSOPP, D. D. With Portrait. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This is a new volume of the 'Leaders of Religion' series, from the learned and witty pen of the Rector of Scarning, who has been able to embody the results of much research. 

 OLD HARROW DAYS. By J. G. COTTON MINCHIN. _Crown 8vo. _ _5s. _

 A volume of reminiscences which will be interesting to old Harrovians and to many of the general public. 

 #Theology#

 A PRIMER OF THE BIBLE. By Prof. W. H. BENNETT. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 This Primer sketches the history of the books which make up the Bible, in the light of recent criticism. It gives an account of their character, origin, and composition, as far as possible in chronological order, with special reference to their relations to one another and to the history of Israel and the Church. The formation of the Canon is illustrated by chapters on the Apocrypha (Old and New Testament); and there is a brief notice of the history of the Bible since the close of the Canon. 

 LIGHT AND LEAVEN: HISTORICAL AND SOCIAL SERMONS. By the Rev. H. HENSLEY HENSON, M. A. , Fellow of All Souls', Incumbent of St. Mary's Hospital, Ilford. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 _Devotional Series_

 THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE. Newly Translated, with an Introduction, by C. BIGG, D. D. , late Student of Christ Church. With a Frontispiece. _18mo. _ _1s. 6d. _

 This little book is the first volume of a new Devotional Series, printed in clear type, and published at a very low price. 

 This volume contains the nine books of the 'Confessions' which are suitable for devotional purposes. The name of the Editor is a sufficient guarantee of the excellence of the edition. 

 THE HOLY SACRIFICE. By F. WESTON, M. A. , Curate of St. Matthew's, Westminster. _18mo. _ _1s. _

 A small volume of devotions at the Holy Communion. 

 #Naval and Military#

 A HISTORY OF THE ART OF WAR. By C. W. OMAN, M. A. , Fellow of All Souls', Oxford. _Demy 8vo. _ _Illustrated. _ _21s. _

 Vol. II. MEDIÆVAL WARFARE. 

 Mr. Oman is engaged on a History of the Art of War, of which the above, though covering the middle period from the fall of the Roman Empire to the general use of gunpowder in Western Europe, is the first instalment. The first battle dealt with will be Adrianople (378) and the last Navarette (1367). There will appear later a volume dealing with the Art of War among the Ancients, and another covering the 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries. 

 The book will deal mainly with tactics and strategy, fortifications and siegecraft, but subsidiary chapters will give some account of the development of arms and armour, and of the various forms of military organization known to the Middle Ages. 

 A SHORT HISTORY OF THE ROYAL NAVY, FROM EARLY TIMES TO THE PRESENT DAY. By DAVID HANNAY. Illustrated. _2 Vols. Demy 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. Each. _ Vol. I. 

 This book aims at giving an account not only of the fighting we have done at sea, but of the growth of the service, of the part the Navy has played in the development of the Empire, and of its inner life. 

 THE STORY OF THE BRITISH ARMY. By Lieut. -Colonel COOPER KING, of the Staff College, Camberley. Illustrated. _Demy 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 This volume aims at describing the nature of the different armies that have been formed in Great Britain, and how from the early and feudal levies the present standing army came to be. The changes in tactics, uniform, and armament are briefly touched upon, and the campaigns in which the army has shared have been so far followed as to explain the part played by British regiments in them. 

 #General Literature#

 THE OLD ENGLISH HOME. By S. BARING-GOULD. With numerous Plans and Illustrations. _Crown 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 This book, like Mr. Baring-Gould's well-known 'Old Country Life, ' describes the life and environment of an old English family. 

 OXFORD AND ITS COLLEGES. By J. WELLS, M. A. , Fellow and Tutor of Wadham College. Illustrated by E. H. NEW. _Fcap. 8vo. _ _3s. _ _Leather. _ _4s. _

 This is a guide--chiefly historical--to the Colleges of Oxford. It contains numerous illustrations. 

 VOCES ACADEMICÆ. By C. GRANT ROBERTSON, M. A. , Fellow of All Souls', Oxford. _With a Frontispiece. _ _Fcap. 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This is a volume of light satirical dialogues and should be read by all who are interested in the life of Oxford. 

 A PRIMER OF WORDSWORTH. By LAURIE MAGNUS. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 This volume is uniform with the Primers of Tennyson and Burns, and contains a concise biography of the poet, a critical appreciation of his work in detail, and a bibliography. 

 NEO-MALTHUSIANISM. By R. USSHER, M. A. _Cr. 8vo. _ _6s. _

 This book deals with a very delicate but most important matter, namely, the voluntary limitation of the family, and how such action affects morality, the individual, and the nation. 

 PRIMÆVAL SCENES. By H. N. HUTCHINSON, B. A. , F. G. S. , Author of 'Extinct Monsters, ' 'Creatures of Other Days, ' 'Prehistoric Man and Beast, ' etc. With numerous Illustrations drawn by JOHN HASSALL and FRED. V. BURRIDGE. _4to. _ _6s. _

 A set of twenty drawings, with short text to each, to illustrate the humorous aspects of prehistoric times. They are carefully planned by the author so as to be scientifically and archæologically correct and at the same time amusing. 

 THE WALLYPUG IN LONDON. By G. E. FARROW, Author of 'The Wallypug of Why. ' With numerous Illustrations. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 An extravaganza for children, written with great charm and vivacity. 

 RAILWAY NATIONALIZATION. By CLEMENT EDWARDS. _Social Questions Series. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 #Sport#

 SPORTING AND ATHLETIC RECORDS. By H. MORGAN BROWNE. _Crown 8vo. _ _1s. Paper;_ _2s. Cloth. _

 This book gives, in a clear and complete form, accurate records of the best performances in all important branches of Sport. It is an attempt, never yet made, to present all-important sporting records in a systematic way. 

 THE GOLFING PILGRIM. By HORACE G. HUTCHINSON. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 This book, by a famous golfer, contains the following sketches lightly and humorously written:--The Prologue--The Pilgrim at the Shrine--Mecca out of Season--The Pilgrim at Home--The Pilgrim Abroad--The Life of the Links--A Tragedy by the Way--Scraps from the Scrip--The Golfer in Art--Early Pilgrims in the West--An Interesting Relic. 

 #Educational#

 EVAGRIUS. Edited by PROFESSOR LÉON PARMENTIER of Liége and M. Bidez of Gand. _Demy 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _ _Byzantine Texts. _

 THE ODES AND EPODES OF HORACE. Translated by A. D. GODLEY, M. A. , Fellow of Magdalen College, Oxford. _Crown 8vo. Buckram. _ _2s. _

 ORNAMENTAL DESIGN FOR WOVEN FABRICS. By C. STEPHENSON, of The Technical College, Bradford, and F. SUDDARDS, of The Yorkshire College, Leeds. With 65 full-page plates, and numerous designs and diagrams in the text. _Demy 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 The aim of this book is to supply, in a systematic and practical form, information on the subject of Decorative Design as applied to Woven Fabrics, and is primarily intended to meet the requirements of students in Textile and Art Schools, or of designers actively engaged in the weaving industry. Its wealth of illustration is a marked feature of the book. 

 ESSENTIALS OF COMMERCIAL EDUCATION. By E. E. WHITFIELD, M. A. _Crown 8vo. _ _1s. 6d. _

 A guide to Commercial Education and Examinations. 

 PASSAGES FOR UNSEEN TRANSLATION. By E. C. MARCHANT, M. A. , Fellow of Peterhouse, Cambridge; and A. M. COOK, M. A. , late Scholar of Wadham College, Oxford: Assistant Masters at St. Paul's School. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This book contains Two Hundred Latin and Two Hundred Greek Passages, and has been very carefully compiled to meet the wants of V. And VI. Form Boys at Public Schools. It is also well adapted for the use of Honour men at the Universities. 

 EXERCISES IN LATIN ACCIDENCE. By S. E. WINBOLT, Assistant Master in Christ's Hospital. _Crown 8vo. _ _1s. 6d. _

 An elementary book adapted for Lower Forms to accompany the shorter Latin primer. 

 NOTES ON GREEK AND LATIN SYNTAX. By G. BUCKLAND GREEN, M. A. , Assistant Master at the Edinburgh Academy, late Fellow of St. John's College, Oxon. _Cr. 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 Notes and explanations on the chief difficulties of Greek and Latin Syntax, with numerous passages for exercise. 

 A DIGEST OF DEDUCTIVE LOGIC. By JOHNSON BARKER, B. A. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 A short introduction to logic for students preparing for examinations. 

 TEST CARDS IN EUCLID AND ALGEBRA. By D. S. CALDERWOOD, Headmaster of the Normal School, Edinburgh. In a Packet of 40, with Answers. _1s. _

 A set of cards for advanced pupils in elementary schools. 

 HOW TO MAKE A DRESS. By J. A. E. WOOD. Illustrated. _Crown 8vo. _ _1s. 6d. _

 A text-book for students preparing for the City and Guilds examination, based on the syllabus. The diagrams are numerous. 

 #Fiction#

 LOCHINVAR. By S. R. CROCKETT, Author of 'The Raiders, ' etc. Illustrated by FRANK RICHARDS. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 BYEWAYS. By ROBERT HICHENS, Author of 'Flames, ' etc. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 THE MUTABLE MANY. By ROBERT BARR, Author of 'In the Midst of Alarms, ' 'A Woman Intervenes, ' etc. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 THE LADY'S WALK. By MRS. OLIPHANT. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A new book by this lamented author, somewhat in the style of her 'Beleagured City. '

 TRAITS AND CONFIDENCES. By The Hon. EMILY LAWLESS, Author of 'Hurrish, ' 'Maelcho, ' etc. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 BLADYS. By S. BARING GOULD, Author of 'The Broom Squire, ' etc. Illustrated by F. H. TOWNSEND. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A Romance of the last century. 

 THE POMP OF THE LAVILETTES. By GILBERT PARKER, Author of 'The Seats of the Mighty, ' etc. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 A DAUGHTER OF STRIFE. By JANE HELEN FINDLATER, Author of 'The Green Graves of Balgowrie. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A story of 1710. 

 OVER THE HILLS. By MARY FINDLATER. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A novel by a sister of J. H. Findlater, the author of 'The Green Graves of Balgowrie. '

 A CREEL OF IRISH STORIES. By JANE BARLOW, Author of 'Irish Idylls. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 THE CLASH OF ARMS. By J. BLOUNDELLE BURTON, Author of 'In the Day of Adversity. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A PASSIONATE PILGRIM. By PERCY WHITE, Author of 'Mr. Bailey-Martin. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 SECRETARY TO BAYNE, M. P. By W. PETT RIDGE. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 THE BUILDERS. By J. S. FLETCHER, Author of 'When Charles I. Was King. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 JOSIAH'S WIFE. By NORMA LORIMER. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 BY STROKE OF SWORD. By ANDREW BALFOUR. Illustrated by W. CUBITT COOKE. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A romance of the time of Elizabeth. 

 THE SINGER OF MARLY. By I. HOOPER. Illustrated by W. CUBITT COOKE. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A romance of adventure. 

 KIRKHAM'S FIND. By MARY GAUNT, Author of 'The Moving Finger. ' _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 THE FALL OF THE SPARROW. By M. C. BALFOUR. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 SCOTTISH BORDER LIFE. By JAMES C. DIBDIN. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 A LIST OF MESSRS. METHUEN'S PUBLICATIONS

 #Poetry#

 RUDYARD KIPLING'S NEW POEMS

 #Rudyard Kipling. # THE SEVEN SEAS. By RUDYARD KIPLING. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram, gilt top. _ _6s. _

 'The new poems of Mr. Rudyard Kipling have all the spirit and swing of their predecessors. Patriotism is the solid concrete foundation on which Mr. Kipling has built the whole of his work. '--_Times. _

 'Full of passionate patriotism and the Imperial spirit. '--_Yorkshire Post. _

 'The Empire has found a singer; it is no depreciation of the songs to say that statesmen may have, one way or other, to take account of them. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 'Animated through and through with indubitable genius. '--_Daily Telegraph. _

 'Packed with inspiration, with humour, with pathos. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 'All the pride of empire, all the intoxication of power, all the ardour, the energy, the masterful strength and the wonderful endurance and death-scorning pluck which are the very bone and fibre and marrow of the British character are here. '--_Daily Mail. _

 #Rudyard Kipling. # BARRACK-ROOM BALLADS; And Other Verses. By RUDYARD KIPLING. _Twelfth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'Mr. Kipling's verse is strong, vivid, full of character. . . . Unmistakable genius rings in every line. '--_Times. _

 'The ballads teem with imagination, they palpitate with emotion. We read them with laughter and tears; the metres throb in our pulses, the cunningly ordered words tingle with life; and if this be not poetry, what is?'--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 #"Q. "# POEMS AND BALLADS. By "Q. , " Author of 'Green Bays, ' etc. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'This work has just the faint, ineffable touch and glow that make poetry. 'Q. ' has the true romantic spirit. '--_Speaker. _

 #"Q. "# GREEN BAYS: Verses and Parodies. By "Q. , " Author of 'Dead Man's Rock, ' etc. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'The verses display a rare and versatile gift of parody, great command of metre, and a very pretty turn of humour. '--_Times. _

 #E. Mackay. # A SONG OF THE SEA. By ERIC MACKAY, Author of 'The Love Letters of a Violinist. ' _Second Edition. _ _Fcap. 8vo. _ _5s. _

 'Everywhere Mr. Mackay displays himself the master of a style marked by all the characteristics of the best rhetoric. He has a keen sense of rhythm and of general balance; his verse is excellently sonorous. '--_Globe. _

 #Ibsen. # BRAND. A Drama by HENRIK IBSEN. Translated by William Wilson. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'The greatest world-poem of the nineteenth century next to "Faust. " It is in the same set with "Agamemnon, " with "Lear, " with the literature that we now instinctively regard as high and holy. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #"A. G. "# VERSES TO ORDER. By "A. G. " _Cr. 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. Net. _

 A small volume of verse by a writer whose initials are well known to Oxford men. 

 'A capital specimen of light academic poetry. These verses are very bright and engaging, easy and sufficiently witty. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 #Belles Lettres, Anthologies, etc. #

 #R. L. Stevenson. # VAILIMA LETTERS. By ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON. With an Etched Portrait by WILLIAM STRANG, and other Illustrations. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _7s. 6d. _

 'Few publications have in our time been more eagerly awaited than these "Vailima Letters, " giving the first fruits of the correspondence of Robert Louis Stevenson. But, high as the tide of expectation has run, no reader can possibly be disappointed in the result. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 #Henley and Whibley. # A BOOK OF ENGLISH PROSE. Collected by W. E. HENLEY and CHARLES WHIBLEY. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A unique volume of extracts--an art gallery of early prose. '--_Birmingham Post. _

 'An admirable companion to Mr. Henley's "Lyra Heroica. "'--_Saturday Review. _

 'Quite delightful. A greater treat for those not well acquainted with pre-Restoration prose could not be imagined. '--_Athenæum. _

 #H. C. Beeching. # LYRA SACRA: An Anthology of Sacred Verse. Edited by H. C. BEECHING, M. A. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _6s. _

 'A charming selection, which maintains a lofty standard of excellence. '--_Times. _

 #"Q. "# THE GOLDEN POMP: A Procession of English Lyrics from Surrey to Shirley, arranged by A. T. QUILLER COUCH. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _6s. _

 'A delightful volume: a really golden "Pomp. "'--_Spectator. _

 #W. B. Yeats. # AN ANTHOLOGY OF IRISH VERSE. Edited by W. B. YEATS. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'An attractive and catholic selection. '--Times. 

 #G. W. Steevens. # MONOLOGUES OF THE DEAD. By G. W. STEEVENS. _Foolscap 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 A series of Soliloquies in which famous men of antiquity--Julius Cæsar, Nero, Alcibiades, etc. , attempt to express themselves in the modes of thought and language of to-day. 

 The effect is sometimes splendid, sometimes bizarre, but always amazingly clever. --_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 #Victor Hugo. # THE LETTERS OF VICTOR HUGO. Translated from the French by F. CLARKE, M. A. _In Two Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. Each. _ _Vol. I. _ 1815-35. 

 This is the first volume of one of the most interesting and important collection of letters ever published in France. The correspondence dates from Victor Hugo's boyhood to his death, and none of the letters have been published before. The arrangement is chiefly chronological, but where there is an interesting set of letters to one person these are arranged together. The first volume contains, among others, (1) Letters to his father; (2) to his young wife; (3) to his confessor, Lamennais; (4) a very important set of about fifty letters to Sainte-Beauve; (5) letters about his early books and plays. 

 'A charming and vivid picture of a man whose egotism never marred his natural kindness, and whose vanity did not impair his greatness. '--_Standard. _

 #C. H. Pearson. # ESSAYS AND CRITICAL REVIEWS. By C. H. PEARSON, M. A. , Author of 'National Life and Character. ' Edited, with a Biographical Sketch, by H. A. STRONG, M. A. , LL. D. With a Portrait. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 'Remarkable for careful handling, breadth of view, and knowledge. '--_Scotsman. _

 'Charming essays. '--_Spectator. _

 #W. M. Dixon. # A PRIMER OF TENNYSON. By W. M. DIXON, M. A. , Professor of English Literature at Mason College. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 'Much sound and well-expressed criticism and acute literary judgments. The bibliography is a boon. '--_Speaker. _

 #W. A. Craigie. # A PRIMER OF BURNS. By W. A. CRAIGIE. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 This book is planned on a method similar to the 'Primer of Tennyson. ' It has also a glossary. 

 'A valuable addition to the literature of the poet. '--_Times. _

 'An excellent short account. '--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 'An admirable introduction. '--_Globe. _

 #Sterne. # THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY. By LAWRENCE STERNE. With an Introduction by CHARLES WHIBLEY, and a Portrait. _2 vols. _ _7s. _

 'Very dainty volumes are these; the paper, type, and light-green binding are all very agreeable to the eye. _Simplex munditiis_ is the phrase that might be applied to them. '--_Globe. _

 #Congreve. # THE COMEDIES OF WILLIAM CONGREVE. With an Introduction by G. S. STREET, and a Portrait. _2 vols. _ _7s. _

 'The volumes are strongly bound in green buckram, are of a convenient size, and pleasant to look upon, so that whether on the shelf, or on the table, or in the hand the possessor is thoroughly content with them. '--_Guardian. _

 #Morier. # THE ADVENTURES OF HAJJI BABA OF ISPAHAN. By JAMES MORIER. With an Introduction by E. G. BROWNE, M. A. , and a Portrait. _2 vols. _ _7s. _

 #Walton. # THE LIVES OF DONNE, WOTTON, HOOKER, HERBERT, AND SANDERSON. By IZAAK WALTON. With an Introduction by VERNON BLACKBURN, and a Portrait. _3s. 6d. _

 #Johnson. # THE LIVES OF THE ENGLISH POETS. By SAMUEL JOHNSON, LL. D. With an Introduction by J. H. MILLAR, and a Portrait. _3 vols. _ _10s. 6d. _

 #Burns. # THE POEMS OF ROBERT BURNS. Edited by ANDREW LANG and W. A. CRAIGIE. With Portrait. _Demy 8vo, gilt top. _ _6s. _

 This edition contains a carefully collated Text, numerous Notes, critical and textual, a critical and biographical Introduction, and a Glossary. 

 'Among the editions in one volume, Mr. Andrew Lang's will take the place of authority. '--_Times. _

 #F. Langbridge. # BALLADS OF THE BRAVE: Poems of Chivalry, Enterprise, Courage, and Constancy. Edited, with Notes, by Rev. F. LANGBRIDGE. _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _3s. 6d. _ _School Edition. _ _2s. 6d. _

 'A very happy conception happily carried out. These "Ballads of the Brave" are intended to suit the real tastes of boys, and will suit the taste of the great majority. '--_Spectator. _

 'The book is full of splendid things. '--_World. _

 #Illustrated Books#

 #Jane Barlow. # THE BATTLE OF THE FROGS AND MICE, translated by JANE BARLOW, Author of 'Irish Idylls, ' and pictured by F. D. BEDFORD. _Small 4to. _ _6s. Net. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # A BOOK OF FAIRY TALES retold by S. BARING GOULD. With numerous illustrations and initial letters by ARTHUR J. GASKIN. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _6s. _

 'Mr. Baring Gould is deserving of gratitude, in re-writing in honest, simple style the old stories that delighted the childhood of "our fathers and grandfathers. " As to the form of the book, and the printing, which is by Messrs. Constable, it were difficult to commend overmuch. '--_Saturday Review. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # OLD ENGLISH FAIRY TALES. Collected and edited by S. BARING GOULD. With Numerous Illustrations by F. D. BEDFORD. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _6s. _

 'A charming volume, which children will be sure to appreciate. The stories have been selected with great ingenuity from various old ballads and folk-tales, and, having been somewhat altered and readjusted, now stand forth, clothed in Mr. Baring Gould's delightful English, to enchant youthful readers. '--_Guardian. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # A BOOK OF NURSERY SONGS AND RHYMES. Edited by S. BARING GOULD, and Illustrated by the Birmingham Art School. _Buckram, gilt top. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'The volume is very complete in its way, as it contains nursery songs to the number of 77, game-rhymes, and jingles. To the student we commend the sensible introduction, and the explanatory notes. The volume is superbly printed on soft, thick paper, which it is a pleasure to touch; and the borders and pictures are among the very best specimens we have seen of the Gaskin school. '--_Birmingham Gazette. _

 #H. C. Beeching. # A BOOK OF CHRISTMAS VERSE. Edited by H. C. BEECHING, M. A. , and Illustrated by WALTER CRANE. _Crown 8vo, gilt top. _ _5s. _

 A collection of the best verse inspired by the birth of Christ from the Middle Ages to the present day. A distinction of the book is the large number of poems it contains by modern authors, a few of which are here printed for the first time. 

 'An anthology which, from its unity of aim and high poetic excellence, has a better right to exist than most of its fellows. '--_Guardian. _

 #History#

 #Gibbon. # THE DECLINE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE. By EDWARD GIBBON. A New Edition, Edited with Notes, Appendices, and Maps, by J. B. BURY, M. A. , Fellow of Trinity College, Dublin. _In Seven Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _Gilt top. _ _8s. 6d. Each. _ _Also crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _ _Vols. I. , II. , and III. _

 'The time has certainly arrived for a new edition of Gibbon's great work. . . . Professor Bury is the right man to undertake this task. His learning is amazing, both in extent and accuracy. The book is issued in a handy form, and at a moderate price, and it is admirably printed. '--_Times. _

 'The edition is edited as a classic should be edited, removing nothing, yet indicating the value of the text, and bringing it up to date. It promises to be of the utmost value, and will be a welcome addition to many libraries. '--_Scotsman. _

 'This edition, so far as one may judge from the first instalment, is a marvel of erudition and critical skill, and it is the very minimum of praise to predict that the seven volumes of it will supersede Dean Milman's as the standard edition of our great historical classic. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 'The beau-ideal Gibbon has arrived at last. '--_Sketch. _

 'At last there is an adequate modern edition of Gibbon. . . . The best edition the nineteenth century could produce. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 #Flinders Petrie. # A HISTORY OF EGYPT, FROM THE EARLIEST TIMES TO THE PRESENT DAY. Edited by W. M. FLINDERS PETRIE, D. C. L. , LL. D. , Professor of Egyptology at University College. _Fully Illustrated. _ _In Six Volumes. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 Vol. I. PREHISTORIC TIMES TO XVI. DYNASTY. W. M. F. Petrie. _Third Edition. _

 Vol. II. THE XVIITH AND XVIIITH DYNASTIES. W. M. F. Petrie. _Second Edition. _

 'A history written in the spirit of scientific precision so worthily represented by Dr. Petrie and his school cannot but promote sound and accurate study, and supply a vacant place in the English literature of Egyptology. '--_Times. _

 #Flinders Petrie. # EGYPTIAN TALES. Edited by W. M. FLINDERS PETRIE. Illustrated by TRISTRAM ELLIS. _In Two Volumes. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. Each. _

 'A valuable addition to the literature of comparative folk-lore. The drawings are really illustrations in the literal sense of the word. '--_Globe. _

 'It has a scientific value to the student of history and archæology. '--_Scotsman. _

 'Invaluable as a picture of life in Palestine and Egypt. '--_Daily News. _

 #Flinders Petrie. # EGYPTIAN DECORATIVE ART. By W. M. FLINDERS PETRIE, D. C. L. With 120 Illustrations. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'Professor Flinders Petrie is not only a profound Egyptologist, but an accomplished student of comparative archæology. In these lectures, delivered at the Royal Institution, he displays both qualifications with rare skill in elucidating the development of decorative art in Egypt, and in tracing its influence on the art of other countries. '--_Times. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # THE TRAGEDY OF THE CÆSARS. The Emperors of the Julian and Claudian Lines. With numerous Illustrations from Busts, Gems, Cameos, etc. By S. BARING GOULD, Author of 'Mehalah, ' etc. _Fourth Edition. _ _Royal 8vo. _ _15s. _

 'A most splendid and fascinating book on a subject of undying interest. The great feature of the book is the use the author has made of the existing portraits of the Cæsars, and the admirable critical subtlety he has exhibited in dealing with this line of research. It is brilliantly written, and the illustrations are supplied on a scale of profuse magnificence. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 'The volumes will in no sense disappoint the general reader. Indeed, in their way, there is nothing in any sense so good in English. . . . Mr. Baring Gould has presented his narrative in such a way as not to make one dull page. '--_Athenæum. _

 #H. De B. Gibbons. # INDUSTRY IN ENGLAND: HISTORICAL OUTLINES. By H. DE B. GIBBINS, M. A. , D. Litt. With 5 Maps. _Second Edition. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 This book is written with the view of affording a clear view of the main facts of English Social and Industrial History placed in due perspective. Beginning with prehistoric times, it passes in review the growth and advance of industry up to the nineteenth century, showing its gradual development and progress. The book is illustrated by Maps, Diagrams, and Tables. 

 #A. Clark. # THE COLLEGES OF OXFORD: Their History and their Traditions. By Members of the University. Edited by A. CLARK, M. A. , Fellow and Tutor of Lincoln College. _8vo. _ _12s. 6d. _

 'A work which will certainly be appealed to for many years as the standard book on the Colleges of Oxford. '--_Athenæum. _

 #Perrens. # THE HISTORY OF FLORENCE FROM 1434 TO 1492. By F. T. PERRENS. Translated by HANNAH LYNCH. _8vo. _ _12s. 6d. _

 A history of Florence under the domination of Cosimo, Piero, and Lorenzo de Medicis. 

 'This is a standard book by an honest and intelligent historian, who has deserved well of all who are interested in Italian history. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 #J. Wells. # A SHORT HISTORY OF ROME. By $1, Fellow and Tutor of Wadham Coll. , Oxford. With 4 Maps. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This book is intended for the Middle and Upper Forms of Public Schools and for Pass Students at the Universities. It contains copious Tables, etc. 

 'An original work written on an original plan, and with uncommon freshness and vigour. '--_Speaker. _

 #E. L. S. Horsburgh. # THE CAMPAIGN OF WATERLOO. By E. L. S. HORSBURGH, B. A. _With Plans. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _5s. _

 'A brilliant essay--simple, sound, and thorough. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 'A study, the most concise, the most lucid, the most critical that has been produced. '--_Birmingham Mercury. _

 #H. B. George. # BATTLES OF ENGLISH HISTORY. By H. B. GEORGE, M. A. , Fellow of New College, Oxford. _With numerous Plans. _ _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'Mr. George has undertaken a very useful task--that of making military affairs intelligible and instructive to non-military readers--and has executed it with laudable intelligence and industry, and with a large measure of success. '--_Times. _

 #O. Browning. # A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDIÆVAL ITALY, A. D. 1250-1530. By OSCAR BROWNING, Fellow and Tutor of King's College, Cambridge. _Second Edition. _ _In Two Volumes. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _5s. Each. _

 Vol. I. 1250-1409. --Guelphs and Ghibellines. Vol. II. 1409-1530. --The Age of the Condottieri. 

 'A vivid picture of mediæval Italy. '--_Standard. _

 'Mr. Browning is to be congratulated on the production of a work of immense labour and learning. '--_Westminster Gazette. _

 #O'Grady. # THE STORY OF IRELAND. By STANDISH O'GRADY, Author of 'Finn and his Companions. ' _Cr. 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 'Most delightful, most stimulating. Its racy humour, its original imaginings, make it one of the freshest, breeziest volumes. '--_Methodist Times. _

 #Biography#

 #S. Baring Gould. # THE LIFE OF NAPOLEON BONAPARTE. By S. BARING GOULD. With over 450 Illustrations in the Text and 12 Photogravure Plates. _Large quarto. _ _Gilt top. _ _36s. _

 'The best biography of Napoleon in our tongue, nor have the French as good a biographer of their hero. A book very nearly as good as Southey's "Life of Nelson. "'--_Manchester Guardian. _

 'The main feature of this gorgeous volume is its great wealth of beautiful photogravures and finely-executed wood engravings, constituting a complete pictorial chronicle of Napoleon I. 's personal history from the days of his early childhood at Ajaccio to the date of his second interment under the dome of the Invalides in Paris. '--_Daily Telegraph. _

 'The most elaborate account of Napoleon ever produced by an English writer. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 'A brilliant and attractive volume. Never before have so many pictures relating to Napoleon been brought within the limits of an English book. '--_Globe. _

 'Particular notice is due to the vast collection of contemporary illustrations. '--_Guardian. _

 'Nearly all the illustrations are real contributions to history. '--_Westminster Gazette. _

 'The illustrations are of supreme interest. '--_Standard. _

 #Morris Fuller. # THE LIFE AND WRITINGS OF JOHN DAVENANT, D. D. (1571-1641), President of Queen's College, Lady Margaret Professor of Divinity, Bishop of Salisbury. By MORRIS FULLER, B. D. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 'A valuable contribution to ecclesiastical history. '--_Birmingham Gazette. _

 #J. M. Rigg. # ST. ANSELM OF CANTERBURY: A CHAPTER IN THE HISTORY OF RELIGION. By J. M. RIGG. _Demy 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 'Mr. Rigg has told the story of the great Primate's life with scholarly ability, and has thereby contributed an interesting chapter to the history of the Norman period. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #F. W. Joyce. # THE LIFE OF SIR FREDERICK GORE OUSELEY. By F. W. JOYCE, M. A. With Portraits and Illustrations. _Crown 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 'This book has been undertaken in quite the right spirit, and written with sympathy, insight, and considerable literary skill. '--_Times. _

 #W. G. Collingwood. # THE LIFE OF JOHN RUSKIN. By W. G. COLLINGWOOD, M. A. , Editor of Mr. Ruskin's Poems. With numerous Portraits, and 13 Drawings by Mr. Ruskin. _Second Edition. _ _2 vols. _ _8vo. _ _32s. _

 'No more magnificent volumes have been published for a long time. '--_Times. _

 'It is long since we had a biography with such delights of substance and of form. Such a book is a pleasure for the day, and a joy for ever. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #C. Waldstein. # JOHN RUSKIN: a Study. By CHARLES WALDSTEIN, M. A. , Fellow of King's College, Cambridge. With a Photogravure Portrait after Professor Herkomer. _Post 8vo. _ _5s. _

 'A thoughtful, impartial, well-written criticism of Ruskin's teaching, intended to separate what the author regards as valuable and permanent from what is transient and erroneous in the great master's writing. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #W. H. Hutton. # THE LIFE OF SIR THOMAS MORE. By W. H. HUTTON, M. A. , Author of 'William Laud. ' _With Portraits. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _5s. _

 'The book lays good claim to high rank among our biographies. It is excellently, even lovingly, written. '--_Scotsman. _

 'An excellent monograph. '--_Times. _

 #Clark Russell. # THE LIFE OF ADMIRAL LORD COLLINGWOOD. By W. CLARK RUSSELL, Author of 'The Wreck of the Grosvenor. ' With Illustrations by F. BRANGWYN. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A book which we should like to see in the hands of every boy in the country. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'A really good book. '--_Saturday Review. _

 #Southey. # ENGLISH SEAMEN (Howard, Clifford, Hawkins, Drake, Cavendish). By ROBERT SOUTHEY. Edited, with an Introduction, by DAVID HANNAY. _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'Admirable and well-told stories of our naval history. '--_Army and Navy Gazette. _

 'A brave, inspiriting book. '--_Black and White. _

 #Travel, Adventure and Topography#

 #R. S. S. Baden-Powell. # THE DOWNFALL OF PREMPEH. A Diary of Life with the Native Levy in Ashanti, 1895. By Colonel BADEN-POWELL. With 21 Illustrations and a Map. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 'A compact, faithful, most readable record of the campaign. '--_Daily News. _

 'A bluff and vigorous narrative. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 #R. S. S. Baden-Powell. # THE MATEBELE CAMPAIGN 1896. By Colonel R. S. S. BADEN-POWELL. With nearly 100 Illustrations. _Second Edition. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _15s. _

 'Written in an unaffectedly light and humorous style. '--_The World. _

 'A very racy and eminently readable book. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'As a straightforward account of a great deal of plucky work unpretentiously done, this book is well worth reading. The simplicity of the narrative is all in its favour, and accords in a peculiarly English fashion with the nature of the subject. '--_Times. _

 #Captain Hinde. # THE FALL OF THE CONGO ARABS. By SIDNEY L. HINDE. With Portraits and Plans. _Demy 8vo. _ _12s. 6d. _

 'The book is full of good things, and of sustained interest. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'A graphic sketch of one of the most exciting and important episodes in the struggle for supremacy in Central Africa between the Arabs and their Europeon rivals. Apart from the story of the campaign, Captain Hinde's book is mainly remarkable for the fulness with which he discusses the question of cannibalism. It is, indeed, the only connected narrative--in English, at any rate--which has been published of this particular episode in African history. '--_Times. _

 'Captain Hinde's book is one of the most interesting and valuable contributions yet made to the literature of modern Africa. '--_Daily News. _

 #W. Crooke. # THE NORTH-WESTERN PROVINCES OF INDIA: THEIR ETHNOLOGY AND ADMINISTRATION. By W. CROOKE. With Maps and Illustrations. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 'A carefully and well-written account of one of the most important provinces of the Empire. In seven chapters Mr. Crooke deals successively with the land in its physical aspect, the province under Hindoo and Mussulman rule, the province under British rule, the ethnology and sociology of the province, the religious and social life of the people, the land and its settlement, and the native peasant in his relation to the land. The illustrations are good and well selected, and the map is excellent. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 #W. B. Worsfold. # SOUTH AFRICA: Its History and its Future. By W. BASIL WORSFOLD, M. A. _With a Map. _ _Second Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'An intensely interesting book. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 'A monumental work compressed into a very moderate compass. '--_World. _

 #General Literature#

 #S. Baring Gould. # OLD COUNTRY LIFE. By S. BARING GOULD, Author of 'Mehalah, ' etc. With Sixty-seven Illustrations by W. PARKINSON, F. D. BEDFORD, and F. MASEY. _Large Crown 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _ _Fifth and Cheaper Edition. _ _6s. _

 '"Old Country Life, " as healthy wholesome reading, full of breezy life and movement, full of quaint stories vigorously told, will not be excelled by any book to be published throughout the year. Sound, hearty, and English to the core. '--_World. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # HISTORIC ODDITIES AND STRANGE EVENTS. By S. BARING GOULD. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A collection of exciting and entertaining chapters. The whole volume is delightful reading. '--_Times. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # FREAKS OF FANATICISM. By S. BARING GOULD. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'Mr. Baring Gould has a keen eye for colour and effect, and the subjects he has chosen give ample scope to his descriptive and analytic faculties. A perfectly fascinating book. '--_Scottish Leader. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # A GARLAND OF COUNTRY SONG: English Folk Songs with their Traditional Melodies. Collected and arranged by S. BARING GOULD and H. FLEETWOOD SHEPPARD. _Demy 4to. _ _6s. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # SONGS OF THE WEST: Traditional Ballads and Songs of the West of England, with their Traditional Melodies. Collected by S. BARING GOULD, M. A. , and H. FLEETWOOD SHEPPARD, M. A. Arranged for Voice and Piano. In 4 Parts (containing 25 Songs each), _Parts I. , II. , III. , _ _3s. Each. _ _Part IV. , _ _5s. _ _In one Vol. , _ _French morocco, _ _15s. _

 'A rich collection of humour, pathos, grace, and poetic fancy. '--_Saturday Review. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # YORKSHIRE ODDITIES AND STRANGE EVENTS. _Fourth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # STRANGE SURVIVALS AND SUPERSTITIONS. With Illustrations. By S. BARING GOULD. _Crown 8vo. _ _Second Edition. _ _6s. _

 'We have read Mr. Baring Gould's book from beginning to end. It is full of quaint and various information, and there is not a dull page in it. '--_Notes and Queries. _

 #S. Baring Gould. # THE DESERTS OF SOUTHERN FRANCE. By S. BARING GOULD. With numerous Illustrations by F. D. BEDFORD, S. HUTTON, etc. _2 vols. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _32s. _

 'His two richly-illustrated volumes are full of matter of interest to the geologist, the archæologist, and the student of history and manners. '--_Scotsman. _

 #G. W. Steevens. # NAVAL POLICY: WITH A DESCRIPTION OF ENGLISH AND FOREIGN NAVIES. By G. W. STEEVENS. _Demy 8vo. _ _6s. _

 This book is a description of the British and other more important navies of the world, with a sketch of the lines on which our naval policy might possibly be developed. It describes our recent naval policy, and shows what our naval force really is. A detailed but non-technical account is given of the instruments of modern warfare--guns, armour, engines, and the like--with a view to determine how far we are abreast of modern invention and modern requirements. An ideal policy is then sketched for the building and manning of our fleet; and the last chapter is devoted to docks, coaling-stations, and especially colonial defence. 

 'An extremely able and interesting work. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #W. E. Gladstone. # THE SPEECHES AND PUBLIC ADDRESSES OF THE RT. HON. W. E. GLADSTONE, M. P. Edited by A. W. HUTTON, M. A. , and H. J. COHEN, M. A. With Portraits. _8vo. _ _Vols. IX. And X. _ _12s. 6d. Each. _

 #J. Wells. # OXFORD AND OXFORD LIFE. By Members of the University. Edited by J. WELLS, M. A. , Fellow and Tutor of Wadham College. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 'We congratulate Mr. Wells on the production of a readable and intelligent account of Oxford as it is at the present time, written by persons who are possessed of a close acquaintance with the system and life of the University. '--_Athenæum. _

 #L. Whibley. # GREEK OLIGARCHIES: THEIR ORGANISATION AND CHARACTER. By L. WHIBLEY, M. A. , Fellow of Pembroke College, Cambridge. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'An exceedingly useful handbook: a careful and well-arranged study of an obscure subject. '--_Times. _

 'Mr. Whibley is never tedious or pedantic. '--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 #L. L. Price. # ECONOMIC SCIENCE AND PRACTICE. By L. L. PRICE, M. A. , Fellow of Oriel College, Oxford. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'The book is well written, giving evidence of considerable literary ability, and clear mental grasp of the subject under consideration. '--_Western Morning News. _

 #C. F. Andrews. # CHRISTIANITY AND THE LABOUR QUESTION. By C. F. ANDREWS, B. A. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 'A bold and scholarly survey. '--_Speaker. _

 #J. S. Shedlock. # THE PIANOFORTE SONATA: Its Origin and Development. By J. S. SHEDLOCK. _Crown 8vo. _ _5s. _

 'This work should be in the possession of every musician and amateur, for it not only embodies a concise and lucid history of the origin of one of the most important forms of musical composition, but, by reason of the painstaking research and accuracy of the author's statements, it is a very valuable work for reference. '--_Athenæum. _

 #E. M. Bowden. # THE EXAMPLE OF BUDDHA: Being Quotations from Buddhist Literature for each Day in the Year. Compiled by E. M. BOWDEN. With Preface by Sir EDWIN ARNOLD. _Third Edition. _ _16mo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 #Science#

 #Freudenreich. # DAIRY BACTERIOLOGY. A Short Manual for the Use of Students. By Dr. ED. VON FREUDENREICH. Translated from the German by J. R. AINSWORTH DAVIS, B. A. , F. C. P. _Crown 8vo. _ _2s. 6d. _

 #Chalmers Mitchell. # OUTLINES OF BIOLOGY. By P. CHALMERS MITCHELL, M. A. , F. Z. S. _Fully Illustrated. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A text-book designed to cover the new Schedule issued by the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons. 

 #G. Massee. # A MONOGRAPH OF THE MYXOGASTRES. By GEORGE MASSEE. With 12 Coloured Plates. _Royal 8vo. _ _18s. Net. _

 'A work much in advance of any book in the language treating of this group of organisms. It is indispensable to every student of the Myxogastres. The coloured plates deserve high praise for their accuracy and execution. '--_Nature. _

 #Philosophy#

 #L. T. Hobhouse. # THE THEORY OF KNOWLEDGE. By L. T. HOBHOUSE, Fellow and Tutor of Corpus College, Oxford. _Demy 8vo. _ _21s. _

 'The most important contribution to English philosophy since the publication of Mr. Bradley's "Appearance and Reality. " Full of brilliant criticism and of positive theories which are models of lucid statement. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 'An elaborate and often brilliantly written volume. The treatment is one of great freshness, and the illustrations are particularly numerous and apt. '--_Times. _

 #W. H. Fairbrother. # THE PHILOSOPHY OF T. H. GREEN. By W. H. FAIRBROTHER, M. A. , Lecturer at Lincoln College, Oxford. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 This volume is expository, not critical, and is intended for senior students at the Universities and others, as a statement of Green's teaching, and an introduction to the study of Idealist Philosophy. 

 'In every way an admirable book. As an introduction to the writings of perhaps the most remarkable speculative thinker whom England has produced in the present century, nothing could be better. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 #F. W. Bussell. # THE SCHOOL OF PLATO: its Origin and its Revival under the Roman Empire. By F. W. BUSSELL, M. A. , Fellow and Tutor of Brasenose College, Oxford. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 'A highly valuable contribution to the history of ancient thought. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 'A clever and stimulating book, provocative of thought and deserving careful reading. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 #F. S. Granger. # THE WORSHIP OF THE ROMANS. By F. S. GRANGER, M. A. , Litt. D. , Professor of Philosophy at University College, Nottingham. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A scholarly analysis of the religious ceremonies, beliefs, and superstitions of ancient Rome, conducted in the new instructive light of comparative anthropology. '--_Times. _

 #Theology#

 #E. C. S. Gibson. # THE XXXIX. ARTICLES OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND. Edited with an Introduction by E. C. S. GIBSON, D. D. , Vicar of Leeds, late Principal of Wells Theological College. _In Two Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _15s. _

 'The tone maintained throughout is not that of the partial advocate, but the faithful exponent'--_Scotsman. _

 'There are ample proofs of clearness of expression, sobriety of judgment, and breadth of view. . . . The book will be welcome to all students of the subject, and its sound, definite, and loyal theology ought to be of great service. '--_National Observer. _

 'So far from repelling the general reader, its orderly arrangement, lucid treatment, and felicity of diction invite and encourage his attention. '--_Yorkshire Post. _

 #R. L. Ottley. # THE DOCTRINE OF THE INCARNATION. By R. L. OTTLEY, M. A. , late fellow of Magdalen College, Oxon. , Principal of Pusey House. _In Two Volumes. _ _Demy 8vo. _ _15s. _

 'Learned and reverent: lucid and well arranged. '--_Record. _

 'Accurate, well ordered, and judicious. '--_National Observer. _

 'A clear and remarkably full account of the main currents of speculation. Scholarly precision . . . Genuine tolerance . . . Intense interest in his subject--are Mr. Ottley's merits. '--_Guardian. _

 #F. B. Jevons. # AN INTRODUCTION TO THE HISTORY OF RELIGION. By F. B. JEVONS, M. A. , Litt. D. , Principal of Bishop Hatfield's Hall. _Demy 8vo. _ _10s. 6d. _

 Mr. F. B. Jevons' 'Introduction to the History of Religion' treats of early religion, from the point of view of Anthropology and Folk-lore; and is the first attempt that has been made in any language to weave together the results of recent investigations into such topics as Sympathetic Magic, Taboo, Totemism, Fetishism, etc. , so as to present a systematic account of the growth of primitive religion and the development of early religious institutions. 

 'Dr. Jevons has written a notable work, and we can strongly recommend it to the serious attention of theologians, anthropologists, and classical scholars. '--_Manchester Guardian. _

 'The merit of this book lies in the penetration, the singular acuteness and force of the author's judgment. He is at once critical and luminous, at once just and suggestive. It is but rarely that one meets with a book so comprehensive and so thorough as this, and it is more than an ordinary pleasure for the reviewer to welcome and recommend it. Dr. Jevons is something more than an historian of primitive belief--he is a philosophic thinker, who sees his subject clearly and sees it whole, whose mastery of detail is no less complete than his view of the broader aspects and issues of his subject is convincing. '--_Birmingham Post. _

 #S. R. Driver. # SERMONS ON SUBJECTS CONNECTED WITH THE OLD TESTAMENT. By S. R. DRIVER, D. D. , Canon of Christ Church, Regius Professor of Hebrew in the University of Oxford. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A welcome companion to the author's famous 'Introduction. ' No man can read these discourses without feeling that Dr. Driver is fully alive to the deeper teaching of the Old Testament. '--_Guardian. _

 #T. K. Cheyne. # FOUNDERS OF OLD TESTAMENT CRITICISM: Biographical, Descriptive, and Critical Studies. By T. K. CHEYNE, D. D. , Oriel Professor of the Interpretation of Holy Scripture at Oxford. _Large crown 8vo. _ _7s. 6d. _

 This book is a historical sketch of O. T. Criticism in the form of biographical studies from the days of Eichhorn to those of Driver and Robertson Smith. 

 'A very learned and instructive work. '--_Times. _

 #C. H. Prior. # CAMBRIDGE SERMONS. Edited by C. H. PRIOR, M. A. , Fellow and Tutor of Pembroke College. _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 A volume of sermons preached before the University of Cambridge by various preachers, including the Archbishop of Canterbury and Bishop Westcott. 

 'A representative collection. Bishop Westcott's is a noble sermon. '--_Guardian. _

 #E. B. Layard. # RELIGION IN BOYHOOD. Notes on the Religious Training of Boys. With a Preface by J. R. ILLINGWORTH. By E. B. LAYARD, M. A. _18mo. _ _1s. _

 #W. Yorke Faussett. # THE _DE CATECHIZANDIS RUDIBUS_ OF ST. AUGUSTINE. Edited, with Introduction, Notes, etc. , by W. YORKE FAUSSETT, M. A. , late Scholar of Balliol Coll. _Crown 8vo. _ _3s. 6d. _

 An edition of a Treatise on the Essentials of Christian Doctrine, and the best methods of impressing them on candidates for baptism. 

 'Ably and judiciously edited on the same principle as the ordinary Greek and Latin texts. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 _Devotional Books_

 _With Full-page Illustrations. _ _Fcap. 8vo. _ _Buckram. _ _3s. 6d. _ _Padded morocco, 5s. _

 THE IMITATION OF CHRIST. By THOMAS À KEMPIS. With an Introduction by DEAN FARRAR. Illustrated by C. M. GERE, and printed in black and red. _Second Edition. _

 'Amongst all the innumerable English editions of the "Imitation, " there can have been few which were prettier than this one, printed in strong and handsome type, with all the glory of red initials. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 THE CHRISTIAN YEAR. By JOHN KEBLE. With an Introduction and Notes by W. LOCK, D. D. , Warden of Keble College, Ireland, Professor at Oxford. Illustrated by R. ANNING BELL. 

 'The present edition is annotated with all the care and insight to be expected from Mr. Lock. The progress and circumstances of its composition are detailed in the Introduction. There is an interesting Appendix on the MSS. Of the "Christian Year, " and another giving the order in which the poems were written. A "Short Analysis of the Thought" is prefixed to each, and any difficulty in the text is explained in a note. '--_Guardian. _

 'The most acceptable edition of this ever-popular work. '--_Globe. _

 #Leaders of Religion#

 Edited by H. C. BEECHING, M. A. _With Portraits, crown 8vo. _

 A series of short biographies of the most prominent leaders of religious life and thought of all ages and countries. 3/6

 The following are ready--

 CARDINAL NEWMAN. By R. H. HUTTON. JOHN WESLEY. By J. H. OVERTON, M. A. BISHOP WILBERFORCE. By G. W. DANIEL, M. A. CARDINAL MANNING. By A. W. HUTTON, M. A. CHARLES SIMEON. By H. C. G. MOULE, M. A. JOHN KEBLE. By WALTER LOCK, D. D. THOMAS CHALMERS. By Mrs. OLIPHANT. LANCELOT ANDREWES. By R. L. OTTLEY, M. A. AUGUSTINE OF CANTERBURY. By E. L. CUTTS, D. D. WILLIAM LAUD. By W. H. HUTTON, B. D. JOHN KNOX. By F. M'CUNN. JOHN HOWE. By R. F. HORTON, D. D. BISHOP KEN. By F. A. CLARKE, M. A. GEORGE FOX, THE QUAKER. By T. HODGKIN, D. C. L. 

 Other volumes will be announced in due course. 

 #Fiction#

 SIX SHILLING NOVELS Marie Corelli's Novels _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 A ROMANCE OF TWO WORLDS. _Sixteenth Edition. _ VENDETTA. _Thirteenth Edition. _ THELMA. _Seventeenth Edition. _ ARDATH. _Eleventh Edition. _ THE SOUL OF LILITH. _Ninth Edition. _ WORMWOOD. _Eighth Edition. _ BARABBAS: A DREAM OF THE WORLD'S TRAGEDY. _Thirty-first Edition. _

 'The tender reverence of the treatment and the imaginative beauty of the writing have reconciled us to the daring of the conception, and the conviction is forced on us that even so exalted a subject cannot be made too familiar to us, provided it be presented in the true spirit of Christian faith. The amplifications of the Scripture narrative are often conceived with high poetic insight, and this "Dream of the World's Tragedy" is, despite some trifling incongruities, a lofty and not inadequate paraphrase of the supreme climax of the inspired narrative. '--_Dublin Review. _

 THE SORROWS OF SATAN. _Thirty-sixth Edition. _

 'A very powerful piece of work. . . . The conception is magnificent, and is likely to win an abiding place within the memory of man. . . . The author has immense command of language, and a limitless audacity. . . . This interesting and remarkable romance will live long after much of the ephemeral literature of the day is forgotten. . . . A literary phenomenon . . . Novel, and even sublime. '--W. T. STEAD in the _Review of Reviews. _

 Anthony Hope's Novels

 _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 THE GOD IN THE CAR. _Seventh Edition. _

 'A very remarkable book, deserving of critical analysis impossible within our limit; brilliant, but not superficial; well considered, but not elaborated; constructed with the proverbial art that conceals, but yet allows itself to be enjoyed by readers to whom fine literary method is a keen pleasure. '--_The World. _

 A CHANGE OF AIR. _Fourth Edition. _

 'A graceful, vivacious comedy, true to human nature. The characters are traced with a masterly hand. '--_Times. _

 A MAN OF MARK. _Fourth Edition. _

 'Of all Mr. Hope's books, "A Man of Mark" is the one which best compares with "The Prisoner of Zenda. "'--_National Observer. _

 THE CHRONICLES OF COUNT ANTONIO. _Third Edition. _

 'It is a perfectly enchanting story of love and chivalry, and pure romance. The outlawed Count is the most constant, desperate, and withal modest and tender of lovers, a peerless gentleman, an intrepid fighter, a very faithful friend, and a most magnanimous foe. '--_Guardian. _

 PHROSO. Illustrated by H. R. MILLAR. _Third Edition. _

 'The tale is thoroughly fresh, quick with vitality, stirring the blood, and humorously, dashingly told. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'A story of adventure, every page of which is palpitating with action and excitement. '--_Speaker. _

 'From cover to cover "Phroso" not only engages the attention, but carries the reader in little whirls of delight from adventure to adventure. '--_Academy. _

 S. Baring Gould's Novels

 _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 'To say that a book is by the author of "Mehalah" is to imply that it contains a story cast on strong lines, containing dramatic possibilities, vivid and sympathetic descriptions of Nature, and a wealth of ingenious imagery. '--_Speaker. _

 'That whatever Mr. Baring Gould writes is well worth reading, is a conclusion that may be very generally accepted. His views of life are fresh and vigorous, his language pointed and characteristic, the incidents of which he makes use are striking and original, his characters are life-like, and though somewhat exceptional people, are drawn and coloured with artistic force. Add to this that his descriptions of scenes and scenery are painted with the loving eyes and skilled hands of a master of his art, that he is always fresh and never dull, and under such conditions it is no wonder that readers have gained confidence both in his power of amusing and satisfying them, and that year by year his popularity widens. '--_Court Circular. _

 ARMINELL: A Social Romance. _Fourth Edition. _

 URITH: A Story of Dartmoor. _Fifth Edition. _

 'The author is at his best. '--_Times. _

 IN THE ROAR OF THE SEA. _Sixth Edition. _

 'One of the best imagined and most enthralling stories the author has produced. '--_Saturday Review. _

 MRS. CURGENVEN OF CURGENVEN. _Fourth Edition. _

 'The swing of the narrative is splendid. '--_Sussex Daily News. _

 CHEAP JACK ZITA. _Fourth Edition. _

 'A powerful drama of human passion. '--_Westminster Gazette. _

 'A story worthy the author. '--_National Observer. _

 THE QUEEN OF LOVE. _Fourth Edition. _

 'You cannot put it down until you have finished it. '--_Punch. _

 'Can be heartily recommended to all who care for cleanly, energetic, and interesting fiction. '--_Sussex Daily News. _

 KITTY ALONE. _Fourth Edition. _

 'A strong and original story, teeming with graphic description, stirring incident, and, above all, with vivid and enthralling human interest. '--_Daily Telegraph. _

 NOÉMI: A Romance of the Cave-Dwellers. Illustrated by R. CATON WOODVILLE. _Third Edition. _

 '"Noémi" is as excellent a tale of fighting and adventure as one may wish to meet. The narrative also runs clear and sharp as the Loire itself. '--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 'Mr. Baring Gould's powerful story is full of the strong lights and shadows and vivid colouring to which he has accustomed us. '--_Standard. _

 THE BROOM-SQUIRE. Illustrated by FRANK DADD. _Fourth Edition. _

 'A strain of tenderness is woven through the web of his tragic tale, and its atmosphere is sweetened by the nobility and sweetness of the heroine's character. '--_Daily News. _

 'A story of exceptional interest that seems to us to be better than anything he has written of late. '--_Speaker. _

 THE PENNYCOMEQUICKS. _Third Edition. _

 DARTMOOR IDYLLS. 

 'A book to read, and keep and read again; for the genuine fun and pathos of it will not early lose their effect. '--_Vanity Fair. _

 GUAVAS THE TINNER. Illustrated by FRANK DADD. _Second Edition. _

 'Mr. Baring Gould is a wizard who transports us into a region of visions, often lurid and disquieting, but always full of interest and enchantment. '--_Spectator. _

 'In the weirdness of the story, in the faithfulness with which the characters are depicted, and in force of style, it closely resembles "Mehalah. "'--_Daily Telegraph. _

 'There is a kind of flavour about this book which alone elevates it above the ordinary novel. The story itself has a grandeur in harmony with the wild and rugged scenery which is its setting. '--_Athenæum. _

 Gilbert Parker's Novels

 _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. Each. _

 PIERRE AND HIS PEOPLE. _Fourth Edition. _

 'Stories happily conceived and finely executed. There is strength and genius in Mr. Parker's style. '--_Daily Telegraph. _

 MRS. FALCHION. _Fourth Edition. _

 'A splendid study of character. '--_Athenæum. _

 'But little behind anything that has been done by any writer of our time. '--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 'A very striking and admirable novel. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 THE TRANSLATION OF A SAVAGE. 

 'The plot is original and one difficult to work out; but Mr. Parker has done it with great skill and delicacy. The reader who is not interested in this original, fresh, and well-told tale must be a dull person indeed. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 THE TRAIL OF THE SWORD. _Fifth Edition. _

 'Everybody with a soul for romance will thoroughly enjoy "The Trail of the Sword. "'--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'A rousing and dramatic tale. A book like this, in which swords flash, great surprises are undertaken, and daring deeds done, in which men and women live and love in the old straightforward passionate way, is a joy inexpressible to the reviewer. '--_Daily Chronicle. _

 WHEN VALMOND CAME TO PONTIAC: The Story of a Lost Napoleon. _Fourth Edition. _

 'Here we find romance--real, breathing, living romance, but it runs flush with our own times, level with our own feelings. The character of Valmond is drawn unerringly; his career, brief as it is, is placed before us as convincingly as history itself. The book must be read, we may say re-read, for any one thoroughly to appreciate Mr. Parker's delicate touch and innate sympathy with humanity. '--_Pall Mall Gazette. _

 'The one work of genius which 1895 has as yet produced. '--_New Age. _

 AN ADVENTURER OF THE NORTH: The Last Adventures of 'Pretty Pierre. ' _Second Edition. _

 'The present book is full of fine and moving stories of the great North, and it will add to Mr. Parker's already high reputation. '--_Glasgow Herald. _

 THE SEATS OF THE MIGHTY. _Illustrated. _ _Eighth Edition. _

 'The best thing he has done; one of the best things that any one has done lately. '--_St. James's Gazette. _

 'Mr. Parker seems to become stronger and easier with every serious novel that he attempts. . . . In "The Seats of the Mighty" he shows the matured power which his former novels have led us to expect, and has produced a really fine historical novel. . . . Most sincerely is Mr. Parker to be congratulated on the finest novel he has yet written. '--_Athenæum. _

 'Mr. Parker's latest book places him in the front rank of living novelists. "The Seats of the Mighty" is a great book. '--_Black and White. _

 'One of the strongest stories of historical interest and adventure that we have read for many a day. . . . A notable and successful book. '--_Speaker. _

 #Conan Doyle. # ROUND THE RED LAMP. By A. CONAN DOYLE, Author of 'The White Company, ' 'The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, ' etc. _Fifth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'The book is, indeed, composed of leaves from life, and is far and away the best view that has been vouchsafed us behind the scenes of the consulting-room. It is very superior to "The Diary of a late Physician. "'--_Illustrated London News. _

 #Stanley Weyman. # UNDER THE RED ROBE. By STANLEY WEYMAN, Author of 'A Gentleman of France. ' With Twelve Illustrations by R. Caton Woodville. _Twelfth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'A book of which we have read every word for the sheer pleasure of reading, and which we put down with a pang that we cannot forget it all and start again. '--_Westminster Gazette. _

 'Every one who reads books at all must read this thrilling romance, from the first page of which to the last the breathless reader is haled along. An inspiration of "manliness and courage. "'--_Daily Chronicle. _

 #Lucas Malet. # THE WAGES OF SIN. By LUCAS MALET. _Thirteenth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 #Lucas Malet. # THE CARISSIMA. By LUCAS MALET, Author of 'The Wages of Sin, ' etc. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 #Arthur Morrison. # TALES OF MEAN STREETS. By ARTHUR MORRISON. _Fourth Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

 'Told with consummate art and extraordinary detail. He tells a plain, unvarnished tale, and the very truth of it makes for beauty. In the true humanity of the book lies its justification, the permanence of its interest, and its indubitable triumph. '--_Athenæum. _

 'A great book. The author's method is amazingly effective, and produces a thrilling sense of reality. The writer lays upon us a master hand. The book is simply appalling and irresistible in its interest. It is humorous also; without humour it would not make the mark it is certain to make. '--_World. _

 #Arthur Morrison. # A CHILD OF THE JAGO. By ARTHUR MORRISON. _Third Edition. _ _Crown 8vo. _ _6s. _

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