Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: TWO THUMPERS. In the Dashty-second Crashers was a Major Corker, who Was remarkable for stories, which were very seldom true. There was also in the regiment a Captain, Goak by name, A rival of the Major's, for his talents were the same. When Corker told a cracker which made everybody stare, The Captain told a buster, which erected all your hair; And the Major, waxing furious at being thus outdone, Came down on his opponent with a truly fearful one! One evening at the Crasher mess, a goodly party met, And the statements these romancers made I never shall forget; They 'd respectively resolved for once and ever to decide Who told the taller tales, who more astonishingly lied. The dinner was concluded, and the cloth was swept away, The wine was circulating, and the band had ceased to play ; The billiard-room was full of youngsters handy with the cue, And in the deep verandah sat a rubber-loving few. But, rooted to their chairs, remained a dozen men or so, With their big cheroots and coffee, with their sherry and Bordeaux ; While spicy stories circled, not unmixed with scandal choice, And loud above the others sounded Major Corker's voice. They talked of " Nap," and Bismarck, and the Franco-German Of divers local matters, acting, racing, and shikar, Of many a wild adventure in the jungle, on the sea, But none could touch the Major—none could yarn so stiff as he. He 'd an anecdote astounding apropos of everything,— His fancy soared to dizzy heights, when once upon the wing; And when they got to " tiger," he was game to make a bet A certain tiger feat of his had ne'er been equalled yet. " Perhaps you may have heard," he said, " the human eye has power To make the brute creation quail, the fiercest beast to cower; Well, I've—you may have notice...