Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: Ill HON. MISS DRESSMAKER Ill HON. MISS DRESSMAKER To Editor Woman's Page Who Understand How Ladies Can Be Dress-Made Until They Appear Beautiful. DEAR Mr Sir: During my progress around from places to places I have got acquaintance with all sorts American musical instruments. Banjos, gasolene, stoves, trumbones and basso drums I have heard shooting their music. But never until of recently did I encounter a sew-machine doing so. Sew- machines are different from pianos in several ways. Pianos are good for accompany ladies singing; sew-machines are useful for accompany ladies gossiping. This I notice. Place at which I was most formerly employed was Mrs Jno W. Smith (pronounced the same way) who reside by her husband near Poison Ivy View, Conn. This Mrs Smith have a mind full of dry- goods. She speak of her friends in dress- make language entirely. " Jno," she say to her husband when they set down for dinner-eat ceremony, " to-day I met the most charming Brussels lace with accordeon tassels at wrists and elbows." " What was her name in real life ?" require Hon. Smith with nervus expression of check-book. " Mrs Ethel Crabapple," report Hon. Mrs Jno, her mind making drop-stitches of fashionable pattern. " She have took up woman- suffrage movement and speaks very beautiful under her pink majolica hat of baby ostrich plumes." Hon. Jno Smith sigh like a bye-gone day. "Ethel Crabapple!" he renig for slight sentiment. " I knew her when she was merely Ethel Scraggs. How is she ? " "Quite well, I think," relapse Mrs Jno. " She spoke on Progress wearing a green opera cloak of cerise burlap aggrevated with panels of Arabian chiffon and satin annex at collar." Hon. Smith withdraw himself from this conversation for fear he might be asked to buy some similar unifo...