Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: Horace the Wise AD PVRKHAM Horace: Book I, Ode 5. "Quis multa gracilis te puer in rasa" What lady-like youth in his wild aberrations Is putting cologne on his brow? For whom are the puffs and the blond transformations? I wonder who's kissing you now. Tee hee! I must laugh when I think of his finish, Not wise to your ways and your rep. Ha! ha! how his fancy for you will diminish 1 I know, for I'm Jonathan Hep. Paraphraser's note: Horace beat the modem song writers to this. The translation is literal enough — "Quis . . . gracilis te puer . . urget?" . Jealousy AD LYDIAM Horace: Book I., Ode 13. "Quern tu, Lydia, Telephi Cenicem roseam, cerea Telephi —" What time thou yearnest for the arms Of Telephus, I fain would twist 'em; When thou dost praise his other charms It just upsets my well-known system; My brain is like a three-ring circus, In short, it gets my capra hircus. My reason reels, my cheeks grow pale, My heart becomes unduly spiteful, My verses in the Evening Mail Are far from snappy and delightful. I put a civil question, Lyddy: Is that a way to treat one's stiddy? What mean those marks upon thee, girl? Those prints of brutal osculation? Great grief! that lowlife and that churl! That Telephus abomination! Can him, O votary of Venus, Else everything is off between us.0 triply beatific those Whose state is classified as married, Untroubled by the green-eyed woes, By such upheavals never harried. Ay, three times happy are the wed ones, Who cleave together till they're dead ones.To Be Quite Frank IN CHLORIN Horace: Book III, Ode 13. " Uxor pauperis Ibyci — " Your conduct, naughty Chloris, is Not just exactly Horace's Ideal of a lady At the shady Time of life; You mustn't t... --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.